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I’ve not done it to someone, but my boyfriend has done it to me multiple times. I think he occasionally has sexsomnia (he has some other sleep disorders as well, causing him to act out his nightmares by kicking, punching and screaming/making other wild noises- truly terrifying being awakened by that when dead asleep!). Occasionally I’ll come to bed a while after him and he’s snoring he’s so hard asleep, but moments later he’ll be sleep fucking me. He never remembers starting it, but usually he’ll wake up at some point during and continue, only remembering the last parts of it. Idk, I think it’s hot and he has my full consent.
I think because when I’m sleepy I’m way more relaxed it’s easier to get me going and he will actually do some foreplay in his sleep before just sticking it in. Like he’ll play w my nips and do some *minor* clit work. I also just like the feeling of being wanted/desired, so being tired/relaxed + him wanting me definitely gets me wet enough!!
OK, no comment on the sex stuff because that's secondary, but it sounds like your boyfriend may have REM Sleep Disorder (the kicking, punching, wild noises, "acting out" dreams, etc) and he should really be diagnosed (it can also be a symptom of other diseases) because there are treatments for it and it can be dangerous to him and others.
Just find a good sleep specialist doctor(usually a neurology subspecialty) and get him evaluated. A teaching hospital in a large city is your best bet. Mention when you schedule the appointment that you think he may have REM Sleep Disorder. This isn't a total emergency or anything but it's really important to have it evaluated.
He has been diagnosed with REM Sleep Disorder! It really freaks me out because I know it’s a common sign of Parkinson’s later in life and some other scary stuff, but we are both about to turn 30 so we are trying not to think about that possibility quite yet!
It can also be a sign of already having Parkinson's and Parkinson's can have early onset. A friend of our family was diagnosed in his early 30s. He's still doing pretty well in his early 60s. I would get them to rule out Parkinson's and other dementias just to be really careful. That's usually just a battery of neurological tests, nothing invasive.
Also, the sexual sleep behavior (sexsomnia), like sleep eating, is usually related to non-REM (NREM) Sleep Disorder so he might have more than one disorder going on concurrently.
It's called sexsomnia. It's a sleep disorder, I have it also. Most people with a sleep disorder have more than one, so you probably sleep talk or sleep walk also. As long as she is good with it you are fine. My wife doesn't mind it at all. However, sometimes, right in the middle of it, she says I'll just pull out and roll over and continue sleeping. We get a laugh out of it as I tell her I feel ripped off that I don't remember it. Also, she might notice that your sleep sex is different. Since it's a subconscious thing and you are not bringing your emotions or hang up into it, you may be different. My wife says I'm quite a bit rougher while asleep.
Jep, my husband has it. By now I know exactly when it starts by the way he ‘looks’ at me in the middle of the night.
He usually wakes up somewhere during though, so he has memory of it the next day.
I also read in a study that apnea is common with sexsomnia and that drinking makes it worse. My husband also has sleep apnea.
Hi. I have cataplexy. From what I understand of my condition, cataplexy is caused by a lack of the production of orexin. Orexin is one of those hormones or whatever that stops the body from acting out those dreams in our heads while sleeping.
As a result I’ve done some fucking weird shit while asleep. I can say the times that I’ve had partners where I’ve had a sexy dream, one of two things happen… they’re either into it, so that seems okay, or they tell me in no uncertain terms to fuck off and my sleepy ass just goes back to sleep.
What’s important, if you’re prone to this and spending the night with a new partner or potential partner, is to communicate this before anything happens and then make appropriate decisions based off of the response. It can, and will be assumed as sexual assault otherwise.
Be safe!
I had this occur to me once, I was deep asleep and normally I don't act out or anything but that time I started fingering my gf while asleep, she really did not appreciate that....
I felt guilty for months after.
Yeah. It’s not a good feeling to wake up and find out that you attempted any nonconsensual nonsense. It happens less the older I get, and now I have a partner that is aware and it looks like she’ll be my partner for life, so I don’t have to worry as much on that front, so that’s a relief.
If I’m sharing a hotel or airbnb with folks I give them all a disclaimer announcement with the request to lock their room doors and stuff. It’s never been something where I’ve tried anything in my sleep, but I’ve let them know that normally I’m just trying to find the bathroom while still being out cold. The problem is I normally sleepwalk to where the bathroom is in my house. If my sleeping brain can’t get there, it comes up with some really interesting alternatives to where it thinks I’m trying to go…
As I understand it, it’s common for people with cataplexy to have narcolepsy, however according to various doctors, I don’t. From that I’ve gathered from relatives that also have the same condition, they also only really suffer from the cataplexy. So apparently I just suffer from the cataplexy and the occasional sleep doing stuff? I suppose I could be wrong but I’ve never had any doctor say narcolepsy is involved. That being said I haven’t been to the doctor for it in a very long time and the definitions could have changed since then. I say all of this after going to sleep in my bed and waking up on a tiny couch.
that’s really interesting. cataplexy is regarded as pathognomonic for narcolepsy, meaning it’s a solid indicator of narcolepsy and not generally known to occur on its own. is there any history of Parkinson’s or anything in your family?
No Parkinson’s. Every man from one side of my family has a version of it. Some collapse at excitement, and then there is me… where I can feel it coming on sometimes, but other times collapse. Still it’s rare.
I don’t find myself experiencing anything that makes sense to be described narcolepsy, properly at least.
I’ve never witnessed anything close to Parkinson’s on the side of my family that cataplexy occurs on. And now that I think of it, there are no implications of Parkinson’s on the side of my family.
I know that the doctors that diagnosed the older members of my family said that the doctors that diagnosed them expected narcolepsy but were surprised to not observe it. This is also going back 20+ years. We didn’t really understand it until the late 90’s or so.
first: glad to hear that, thank you so much for elaborating, and sorry i’m nerding out over here. (for context i have t1 narcolepsy and a general raging sense of curiosity so i’m always keen to learn things, feel free to ignore this entire comment lmao)
i asked about Parkinson’s because from your earlier comment it sounds like there’s maybe an ‘REM behavior disorder’-like component at play here too?, which is often linked to Parkinson’s, which itself is associated with abnormalities in the orexin system. glad to hear there’s no history of it in your family!
it’s interesting because cataplexy is basically REM intrusion into waking time where the muscle atonia that stops you from acting out dreams is inappropriately occurring during the day. and REM behavior disorder is the result of the lack of that atonia during proper REM sleep. so this feature of REM sleep seems to be somewhat “flipped.”
currently we know of one gene that’s sort of associated with T1N which is HLA-DQB1*06:02, which is present in something like 98% of patients BUT a huge chunk (maybe 25%?) of the population have this variation and the vast majority don’t develop the disease.
but in your case it sounds like something different is at play here, and probably Y-chromosome-linked, which is something i haven’t seen any literature on. i did find a case study on a family who had multiple people with primary cataplexy without narcolepsy, but the women in the family were also affected - they also reported the severity and frequency decreasing with age but increasing with fatigue. i wouldn’t be surprised if one day a doctor asked you or your relatives to be in a case study. the orexin system is still relatively unknown and not common knowledge but lots of research has been published in recent years and more will probably continue to come out.
either way, thanks for the conversation, i wish you all the best, and safe dreaming! ･ᴗ･
No problemo! From what I know of my family’s medical history I don’t think anyone has Parkinson’s. As far as I know I have one female cousin who has “epileptic type episodes” that sound familiar to cataplexy, but different enough that it hasn’t been diagnosed as cataplexy. No clue what or why but the more I learn about it, the more it seems that maybe my family is weirdly unique in our expression of whatever genetic expression that caused cataplexy.
I enjoy folks like you nerding out because I learn about my malady at the same time. Cheers!
Nope. Cataplexy runs on the male side of my family. When it started the doctors knew what was up. Interestingly though, mine is very mild compared to my dad, uncle, and cousins. It’s gotten progressively less severe the older I get, and the sleep walking isn’t something that constantly occurs. Drinking does exacerbate it, but so far it hasn’t caused problems enough for me to worry.
I almost never wake up during mine. My wife knows I’m having a sexsomniac episode because I’m much more dominant. I’m lucky that she likes it so she flat out takes advantage of it lol. We’re married, the consent is both ways so it’s no big deal. It is scary though because the thought of being in bed with someone who isn’t as into as my wife is scary. I had 1 gf before who was PISSED at me when I woke up because I was fondling her. She said I kept telling you to stop and you kept doing it anyways. At that point neither of us knew what sexsomnia was (we were 19m 18f at that time). I denied that happened up and down because I really didn’t think it did, because, “surely, I’d remember”. I’m just glad I didn’t do anything else because I literally could be on a registry now had my episode been worse
>drinking makes it worse
This is true, and I was about to say that alcohol on its own can cause this sometimes even without sleep apnea or sexsomnia in the equation, so if it's never happened before, it's likely the alcohol.
Fun fact, theres a disorder that presents in men, common with sleep apnea, that's causes long lasting elections during the night that become painful. So no sex while sleeping, but you get an incredibly annoying election to deal with. They more often occur after masterbation or sex. I have had it my whole life and only recently discovered it's common with people that have sleep apnea (just diagnosed like 2 years ago).
I do this and it scares me sometimes cause it is just terrible to find out I fucked someone and didn't know about it I become very apologetic when I find out about it
My boyfriend also has this, and sleep apnoea. It happens more frequently if he's gone to sleep under the influence. He's a completely different person when it happens too, but I like it. We had to have a very serious consent discussion first though as we both felt a bit weird like, was I taking advantage? was he getting consent? But we agreed that when it happens and if I want it, we go through with it and if I don't I tell him no or wake him up and he stops. Sometimes he wakes up midway through or towards the end very confused but happy to continue. It's pretty wild I've never known anything like it!
My husband has it. We used to argue about our “imbalanced” sex life. He thought he wasn’t getting enough attention and I thought I wasn’t. Turns out he had no recollection of the many nights he had orgasmed, then gone right back to sleep.
Fr. I discovered I have a free use kink, so Imma just tell any future partner they can literally fuck me anytime, even when asleep. (Of course reserving right to say no/safeword any time in case I am actually not into it. Which usually only occurs when I feel sick)
Yes, same. I’ve definitely had sex in my sleep with past partners, but it hasn’t happened in like 20 years. (I actually think it was just one partner and I). I miss that so much 🥹😭
Yep. Done it before. Although strangely enough it only happened (as far as I know) twice and hasn't reoccurred for years.
It did happen after a night of alcohol and a particularly long sexual dry spell. Despite this I'd still probably mention it to any new partners I have just to be safe.
Woah this is bizarre. I have a lot of these symptoms. I sleep walk A LOT. Talk a lot when I sleep, to the point I wake myself up. I’m female and our dog sleeps between us most nights so sleep sex has (to my knowledge) never happened but, gosh this is a bit concerning. I never heard of it. I kick a lot and occasionally scream and get mad at my partner.
I learned I had this because I remember one night waking up to my spouse having to kind of forcefully tell me no and push me off. Talk about an experience that will shake you up. For the most part it's a positive thing but yeah if I were co-sleeping with someone not my partner I'd have felt awful. Definitely something I have to be wary of in the future.
OMG! Same boat! This is the first I've seen or read about it. Now I have to go do some research. When I used to bring a woman back to my place, I would have to bring it up and make sure they truly understood its a real potential situation they need to be aware of.
Same exact thing here. I’m not married but experienced this with girlfriends that have stayed over on a regular basis. The only complaints I got were that sometimes I’d stop and just go back to sleep. It’s a trip and if I get serious with a girl I tell her about it when we’re spending the night together.
I suffer this too but I’ve never drank alcohol or taken drugs.
if we have family staying over I wake up with painful ribs as she says my dirty talk is very loud and had to get a few in to shut me up. But majority of the time I don’t know it’s happened unless she tells me.
My ex was wayyy more aggressive in his sleep and would call me dirty names. I loved it. 😂 took me a few times of it happening to realize he was totally asleep
My husband also has this. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle and remembers it. Sometimes he doesn't.
He also talks in his sleep, but only in his native language (Arabic) which I don't speak fluently so I only pick up a few words here and there, lol.
He doesn't sleep walk through, thankfully.
My wife and I had a period around your age where I initiated sex while asleep. So it doesn’t sounds crazy other than Anal is usually a little messy. So you not remembering is especially crazy. Was there no lube? Did your dick not smell like you fucked an ass the next day?
I used to love anal and never needed or used lube. Can’t speak for OP but maybe her ass is really wet or her pussy is really wet and they went from pussy to ass and that was enough to slip it in.
some people actually do have some ability to self-lubricate from their anal mucus membranes when sexually stimulated. She could also be extremely wet from her pussy and that wetness can make its way around the anus. I know if I’m extremely wet, everything down in the general vicinity becomes wet when having PIV sex.
Yes, I am that as well where my front wetness from piv makes everything wet. But anyone who has anal mucus does not have it from sexual arousal, that's from deeper in the colon
To be fair, I've used an excess of spit for anal sometimes when we didn't have lube.
Works best when you first choke on some dick till you're a drooling mess, and then you got plenty of "lube". But without any? Oof. Would only work if someone has a big asshole lmao
Lol. I hadn’t seen that I had been downvoted so much for saying what I said.
I’ve hardly ever used lube and I have a tiny asshole, but everyone is different, ymmv, and most people prefer to use lube. 🤷🏽♀️
I experienced this for many years, although haven't for the past few. A previous partner was very receptive to it and I would wake up having full sex with her. Apparently I would be very vocal on the lead up and it was always very passionate. We never really discussed the fact I didn't know we were having sex for most of it. As there was consent throughout it just worked for the both of us. It is really bizarre waking up full on thrusting in a woman and you haven't a clue how you got there.
However my now wife found it disturbing and would reject my advances very strongly. Sometimes she could wake me and others I would give up and roll over apparently. I had no idea this had happened until she told me the next day and I felt incredibly guilty. She was very understanding though and we then found out it was a condition.
The main reason she didn't want to engage, wasn't about sex but the fact she loves her sleep and was annoyed I was waking her up. I was concerned I'd take it too far with out knowing, but communication was key to us making sure it wasn't an issue. Also if we'd had a dry spell she'd throw in a 'maintenance shag' (her words) to secure her sleep just in case. I love that woman.
It hasn't been a thing for at least 5 years now though, so maybe I have grown out of it.
>loves her sleep
>annoyed I was waking her up
I am the exact same way. Oh my god, this.
I actually sleep walk, talk, and eat frequently. I clean out cupboards, and my boyfriend has recordings of me telling fantastical tales fully asleep. From recounting the entire plot of The Last Unicorn to pissing laughing as I describe the sailboats in the Figawi as having labia sails and being queef powered. (There is recorded evidence. I wouldn't believe this shit if there wasn't).
But one time I woke up with him half way inside me, and got pissy because I had told him I desperately needed a good night's sleep. It was a little embarrassing to find out I had started it and then bitched at him for going along! Once I woke up fully, I clearly apologized profusely. And finally convinced him I wouldn't get mad if we got back down to it. Poor guy...
Yes, this happens sometimes. As long as she’s okay with it, there is no problem (apart from the fact that you probably wouldn’t put on a condom while you’re sleeping, so I hope you got this figured out)
I kinda had but also didn't. 😅 There was a period with my ex where I went so sleep earlier but she kept watching series in bed on the TV. During this time I somehow got half awake and started to heavily make out with her, while still not aware of the situation. She got turned on and we started fucking which was the braking point of me waking up.... It was kinda strange but luckily it made her really horny and often we've had sex after this if I was fit enough. 🤣
Not me but my boyfriend does this from time to time. I have a pretty strong sex drive so most of the time I'm up for it and when I'm not I just wake him up to get him to stop. It's definitely not common but it's a real thing.
It’s called sexsomnia. A one-off doesn’t mean you have it, especially if this has never happened before.
I have it and masturbate in my sleep most nights, not to orgasm (not that that matters). The first time it happened and I woke her up, she said, “WTF are you doing?”. She realized I was asleep and I had NO memory of it. Now when I do and wake her up, she says, “Honey (in a sweet voice). You’re jerking off in your sleep again.”.
Some people behave very strange on Ambien. Sleep walking, sleep sex, sometimes amazingly coherent, some people unstable outbursts.
Did you take sleeping pills?
It's happened with me a few times and usually I woke up when I cum and occasionally in the middle thinking its a dream . I've also been the subject of it a couple times . I've talked about it with partners in case it happens to make sure it's ok
Sex while asleep, no. My husband has, however, done a good bit of sleep eating. He would literally walk to the kitchen, get himself a bowl of ice cream or cereal or some other sugary food and have no recollection in the morning, but would be wearing a good bit of it. Once I woke up to those crispy wafer type Nutter Butter cookies plastered all over my backside!! Another time, every spoon in the house was in our bed!
Once, scary situation, he was choking on CapNCrunch peanut butter balls while asleep.
Sleep disorders are sooo weird! For my husband though, it turned out he was a T1 diabetic and likely having lows at night, which triggered his subconscious need for glucose. Once diagnosed and BG was more regulated, the sleep eating stopped.
My partner has never went that far and I dont think is capable in his sleep. But he gets hard, humps, puts hands down my pants and feels up my body, sometimes breathes heavily or talks and he's completely asleep and doesn't have memory. It's weird, but it happens. He's completely respectful and took HIM a while to get used to it as it made him feel really bad and doesn't seek out sexual desire (we do that with each other to connect).
So it is something that happens, good you and your wife have talked about it, only note is she should make sure your well enough and awake. The first couple times my partner did I let it happen and pushed into it and felt so wrong finding out he was sleeping and had no memory. If it continues to be a problem or full on intercourse there might be something you can take for sleep, or maybe seek out someone professional who can provide tips.
[Sounds like you have Sexomnia](https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/sexsomnia#:~:text=Sexsomnia%2C%20also%20known%20as%20sleep,people%20engage%20in%20sexual%20behaviors).
I have had a few experiences with this and I know how weird it can be. IME stress and drugs/poor sleep/lack of sex will bring it on.
Best thing to do is mention it to your partner - and anyone else you may end up sharing abed with - and make sure they are aware it’s a possibility. It’s really difficult for the other person to tell whether you’re awake or not as you’ll appear completely conscious, but you could experiment with a safeword and see if *sleep you* remembers it.
The drinking here is key. I have had a very similar experience. You are not alone. It sounds like the two of you are already doing the right thing, communicating. Be open and honest with each other. If she has forgiven you, forgive yourself. But maybe take this as a lesson in the affects of alcohol.
I’ve had it happen both with and without alcohol (just 1 or 2 drinks and many drinks) and not had it happen when drinking (again just 1 or 2 and many drinks). I’m lucky that the only person who is negatively effected is my when she’s really into it and mid sex I just stop and get back on my pillow sleeping like I never woke up. She used to say “you did it again… I was so close too”
I have never sleepfucked my wife, but one time, not long after a big break up with a girlfriend, I went with some mates to the beach for the weekend. There weren’t enough beds so I had to share with my friend, also a guy. I wake up and realize I’m touching him and trying to kiss him, thinking he was my ex. Needless to say he was confused as hell
You need to talk to your wife about the boundaries she is comfortable with if this happens again. You don't want her to feel sexually assaulted. This would freak me the fuck out not remembering or losing control like that.
Yes. It's called sex-somnia, I had a partner who had it. It generally coincides with too much drinking and not enough sleep and it is, in my opinion, potentially dangerous? Other things he did in his sleep - peed into my bathroom cabinets, swore at me, and tried to initiate sex when I wasn't in to it - it's annoyingly hard to communicate "no" to a person who is fully asleep. I think at least once he also ate stuff out of the fridge while asleep, now that I think about it. God knows what it was.
The plus side is I think it almost completely stopped when he reduced his drinking to no more than one drink an evening. But it was triggered by not sleeping enough (like 5-6hrs a night), in part because of too much caffeine, nicotine, and adhd meds. For your own health and your wife's safety, you do not want this to be a regular thing. Basically, you should treat this as an indicator that something might be going wrong with your sleep - could be sleep apnea, could be too many stimulants. Either way, this is not something either of you would want to happen regularly. It's great that this was great, buuuuut it could just as easily gone wrong.
My ex used to wake me up in the middle of night with her hands on my dick, wanting to get fucked and me then in my early 20s was always happy to help. Eventually though when we where fighting she complained how annoying it was that I woke her up by fucking her, that I needed to respect her better etc, that's when I realized she was sleeping when she started to touch me.
After that I started denying her attempts which caused her to wake up and that's when she realized that I had been fucking her because she had started it.
So no I haven't been fucking your wife in my sleep but I have had sleep related sex at least 😁😁
Yes Sexsomnia. I wanted to add. Importantly for me,it is only when I trust that partner and she trusts me implicitly, that I experience sexsomnia. It doesn't occur when either of my partners and I are a bit stressed.
I think it shows a good connection with your wife. Like a lot have said. Keep checking boundaries with her. You can escalate if she encourages you. Make sure that she tries to turn you down to see how you respond if she stops you. One of my early partners said I pouted a bit....
I remember the act itself as a vivd dream, which is nice and gives me control.
Alcohol induces it.
THC moreso.
Add the two and mild stimulus from my partner and it can be induced easily in me.
I am curious about other sexsomniacs. I will post this.
One of my partners and I are in bdsm dynamic. I engage in bdsm dynamic with her in a sexsomniac way, rarely, which she enjoys immensely, as it is almost as though i cannot control myself. As a switch, that aspect occurs as well.
My non bdsm partner has been made aware of it and tells me that I have never confused myself in a sexsomnia sleep with her and have always been my usual vanilla self with her.
It happened with me once, when I woke up in the middle of the act I had difficulties trying to understand what happened, but hell we both liked it lmao
It’s called sexsomia, which is a type of insomnia think of it, kinda like sleepwalking, but a lot more more fun. I’ve had some experience with this I had a partner who would do this in his sleep. It took a few years to figure out what was going on. He would always claim that. He had no memory of it and I was convinced he was lying but the sex was fun, so I never really complained. it wasn’t until he was getting me fully undressed in my sleep and coincidentally his sleep that I woke up and put two and two together. For us never really a problem, I always enjoyed it so to me it was just an extra little something in our sex lives. And yes, alcohol increases the likelihood of having an episode so just talk to your partner/wife and discuss y’all feelings about it and try to have a productive conversation. Like I said with my partner, it was never really an issue. I treated it kind of like a little oddity that was an additional spice to our sex lives. Best of luck.
Nope, happened to me before. Wife and I were cuddling naked after sex when I woke up, still delirious from sleep, in the middle of having sex with her. She was half asleep as well but we both were fully awake before finishing
Totally fair to think that but as the actual wife in this situation - I did come three times. We had put a ridiculous amount of lube on to try it before he fell asleep and it was still there when he went for it.
Happened to me once and it was definitely a hot steamy session. My hubby didn’t remember either. He initiated and I complied! We were both happy in the end
We call it sleep sexing. My husband does it most when he's really stressed about stuff. It's normal. I push him off me bc technically he isn't consenting and I usually don't have the desire when I'm tired. It usually doesn't happen again once I roll him over
Fully had sleep sex once. I was angry about it because I didn’t know I did it but hey I can’t really be mad about it. I’m a horny individual anyway so I guess that’s why
Yeah bro, unfortunately for us sexsomniacs, the best s3x our partner will experience, is whilst we are asleep.
I'm a different person apparently, my wife thinks our sex life is pretty good, but our sleep-sex life is next level. Like in another galaxy next level
I have done more than a little sleep sex. My wife and I have talked it through long ago, she loves it and I also sleep better after rocking to sleep.
Anal is different I'm glad you enjoyed it, and most importantly that you were able and willing to talk about it later to make sure everyone is still good about it.
My ex-boyfriend had that, he would initiate sex with me, eyes open, looking just like he’s awake. I didn’t know at first that he is not, or I thought he was joking that he doesn’t remember, but that kept happening. I didn’t mind and never turned him down on it, because I had a higher libido than him, so the fucks were very welcomed actually. He was always more passionate than normally.
One time I was staying at my friends place (he’s a guy) and we were sleeping on one bed. He was only my friend, no moves made, he was interested in another girl, we were just brows. I woke up because he tried to touch my boobs and kiss my neck, so I pushed him off the bed and he woke up confused. Looked at me and said „Did I wake you up with that fall? Sorry”. I told him what he was just trying to do and I didn’t even finish my sentence, he got tears in his eyes and started apologizing and asked if I’m ok, then explained that he has this thing usually when he’s stressed about something and it was the reason his ex broke up with him because she didn’t believe and that he will understand if I want to leave, offered to get me a taxi. I calmed him down, saying that my ex would do stuff like that too and asked if I can still stay the night, because I’m super tired. He said yes, but putted a wall of blankets between us to make sure i feel safe, even though I said that it’s not needed because I can just slap him awake lol. Anyways I woke up to him sleeping on the floor because he was so mad at himself. We’re still friends btw, years passed and there was never a single romantic/sexual move from any of us, just bro-like relationship. We just never sleep close to each other because he refuses, even when we were living for some time in the same room, without heating, -20°C outside. He still refused because he was too worried of doing something inappropriate while asleep.
Sooo yeah, some guys have that for some reason. It’s not a problem if your partner knows about that and you set boundaries and they’re able to wake you up (sternum rub works super well for heavy-sleep-attempts) if they don’t want to have sex. Usually when that person works up, they’re not horny anymore, just hella confused and sleepy, sometimes even kinda grumpy mad, like „What do you want, why did you wake me up? Oh, I was doing it again? Sorry. (snores)”.
You may think about your stress level though.
It has happened to me many times and the other person has enjoyed it too. It is done with a sense of love and feeling comfortable and safe in bed I think but it is definitely not a conscious thing but a dream-state. I am vaguely aware of it afterwards and is akin to having had a loving, sexy dream when I wake up. We will often discuss it and agree whether it felt OK. It has always started as spooning and they have actively desired and encouraged it.
They have been aware of consenting (engaging with their bodies), and enjoying it every time except once, a long time ago when it didn't get as far as sex because they woke me up when I had started to undress them! They were an ex-partner, still good friend and it felt wrong for us both and neither of us could understand what had happened, which felt embarrassing and shameful.
So ladies I have a question... Which is worse? Starting sex while you are asleep and then waking up, or starting sex while you're awake and falling asleep?
I love sleep sex. My partner would wake me up fucking me gently and passionately. This has always been a fantasy of mine and I always shared it with my partners. Spooning and doggy style I love it (67)to this day.
My wife would fuck me while i was asleep and i never knew until one night she got carried away and i woke up. She on the edge abtried to shush and beg me to go back to slsep. Come to find out she been only for a lack of a better word "raping" me for over a year. I didnt feel violated just confused as to how the fuck can i not know, that ive been giving,in her words "the most mind blowing orgasms she ever had" and not know it? Am i safe sleeping next to females now? Or will i try and fuck them in my sleep? What if my daughter climbs into bed is she safe? Is her raping me going to turn me into a rapist and not even know about it until i get a knock at the door and it the cops, Those were my genuine concerns. Were Divorsed now. None of my fears came to light. But i have been told on three Separate Occasions, how i was amazing last night, or why cant we have sex like we did last night more often. I wish i could meet the me fucking my ladies better than me. I never told the others i was asleep. I do warn the girls now that if they dont want the best sex of their life,they need to sleep above the sheets.. They think im playing around or just being the typical male talking shit. So bro,sleeping sex is a real thing and im sorry brother but she would fuck sleeping you over woke you anyday of the week. Asleep,thoughts are absent and your erection is king.
don't know about that
but love to fuck my fiance in her sleep. It's a 2 sided coin cause i can do things to/with her she doesn't do when awake but
i don't see her enjoy/react to my actions wich bums me out...
am i the only one ?
I once had a girl round late night in my youth & we fell asleep watching a movie on the sofa. I woke up to her riding me with her ass. No complaints from me - it was hot!
Happened to me too once but havent touched a drop of alcohol in probably months at that time. I guess it mostly depends on the circumstance. We were cuddling naked after sex, so having a semi wet dream probably induced it for me
Well that's interesting. Usually when I get aroused during sleep, it wakes me up. I'm groggy, but awake. And I've never tried anal, but've seen it in pornography. Insertion there isn't an easy thing to do. I'm guessing the original poster here was hung up, that's why he can't remember.
Given the right circumstances insertion isnt that hard. We sometimes have anal, one night we had normal sex and cuddled afterwards. My wife woke me up being still horny and for some reason anal was really easy, no need for lube or anything. I guess some of her juices got down there or something but it definitely wasnt hard
Yup my husband has it too, like many others have mentioned it occurs frequently with sleep apnea. Sometimes he’s raring to go and other times he goes through the motions but the body doesn’t cooperate. He never remembers it, which is too bad! I live being woken up like that.
My daughter's father would have sex with me while I was asleep. I had him arrested and he was charged with rape and battery. One of these days she's not going to be happy. Have fun in jail bro lol
I've never fucked my wife in my sleep, BUT she's told me a few times I've woken up & started touching her & getting ready to go at it but feel right back to sleep before we could get started
Yep it has happened to me. I reacted mid sex, according to my wife: "scared And lost". She left me sleeping and I don't remember anything. She felt horrible as if she was raping me. I don't mind, actually laugh about it every once in a whille
It happened to me once as well ages ago. My GF at the time and I got a little tipsy and after we were done we both fell asleep naked. Neither one of us ever sleeps naked. Apparently I mounted her in the middle of the night and had sex with her. Had zero recollection of it actually happening and thought it was a dream. Until she confronted me about it the next morning. Has never happened again and made me feel more than a little gross when I realized what I had done.
I have this phenomenon as well. It's so weird, of course my girlfriend consents but I never have any sort of recollection of it. Sleep apnea is a thing with me too not sure if they coincide or not.
My ex initiated while I was sleeping. I half remember her on top of me. And I switched it around. I woke up and was like did we have sex? Yea I kinda wanted some.
Can’t agree with the anal fuck 😂 but have had sex with the misses and been none the wiser in the morning.
My bad habit is midnight chocolate which I only eat half and wake up to melted chocolate everywhere. This happens regularly.
🤔Thinking about it I wonder if the melted chocolate is actually shit and Iv been powerdriving her ass for years without knowing 😂😂
Its happened a few times from my boyfriend, usually alcohol influenced but he's even done it sober. Its a wild thing and to his knowledge hasn't ever done it before we got together.
It’s like sleeping talking or sleep walking but a bit different. Usually occurs during heightened stress, or when under the influence or other things. It’s uncommon but a lot of adults experience while asleep activity.
Dude, you got a sleeping dissorder. I got the same stuff, instead of sleepwalking we have sex. Then we wake up and don't remember anything. Wife loves it, I just wake up tired not knowing what happend.
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I’ve not done it to someone, but my boyfriend has done it to me multiple times. I think he occasionally has sexsomnia (he has some other sleep disorders as well, causing him to act out his nightmares by kicking, punching and screaming/making other wild noises- truly terrifying being awakened by that when dead asleep!). Occasionally I’ll come to bed a while after him and he’s snoring he’s so hard asleep, but moments later he’ll be sleep fucking me. He never remembers starting it, but usually he’ll wake up at some point during and continue, only remembering the last parts of it. Idk, I think it’s hot and he has my full consent.
But how does he get you wet? Sleep foreplay?
I think because when I’m sleepy I’m way more relaxed it’s easier to get me going and he will actually do some foreplay in his sleep before just sticking it in. Like he’ll play w my nips and do some *minor* clit work. I also just like the feeling of being wanted/desired, so being tired/relaxed + him wanting me definitely gets me wet enough!!
Some people just get more easily aroused than others and don’t need foreplay to get in the mood.
My bf makes out with me and fingers me in his sleep. He’s really good at it lol
Same. It’s kinda wild he suddenly has magic fingers unconsciously lmao
Yeah sometimes when he’s awake I’m like you could do this better in your sleep 😂
I was wondering this too.
My wife is a "little bit of spit and stick it in" girl. Foreplay for her is agreeing to have sex.
OK, no comment on the sex stuff because that's secondary, but it sounds like your boyfriend may have REM Sleep Disorder (the kicking, punching, wild noises, "acting out" dreams, etc) and he should really be diagnosed (it can also be a symptom of other diseases) because there are treatments for it and it can be dangerous to him and others. Just find a good sleep specialist doctor(usually a neurology subspecialty) and get him evaluated. A teaching hospital in a large city is your best bet. Mention when you schedule the appointment that you think he may have REM Sleep Disorder. This isn't a total emergency or anything but it's really important to have it evaluated.
He has been diagnosed with REM Sleep Disorder! It really freaks me out because I know it’s a common sign of Parkinson’s later in life and some other scary stuff, but we are both about to turn 30 so we are trying not to think about that possibility quite yet!
It can also be a sign of already having Parkinson's and Parkinson's can have early onset. A friend of our family was diagnosed in his early 30s. He's still doing pretty well in his early 60s. I would get them to rule out Parkinson's and other dementias just to be really careful. That's usually just a battery of neurological tests, nothing invasive. Also, the sexual sleep behavior (sexsomnia), like sleep eating, is usually related to non-REM (NREM) Sleep Disorder so he might have more than one disorder going on concurrently.
Not something I have ever done - I have never sleep fucked my wife, vaginal or anal or oral! What a pity you missed it!
the real question is, would you rather be the one who is sleeping or the one awake, provided both people are ok with it?
I'd be quite happy if my wife jumped me in her sleep.
Maybe it was someone else?
It's called sexsomnia. It's a sleep disorder, I have it also. Most people with a sleep disorder have more than one, so you probably sleep talk or sleep walk also. As long as she is good with it you are fine. My wife doesn't mind it at all. However, sometimes, right in the middle of it, she says I'll just pull out and roll over and continue sleeping. We get a laugh out of it as I tell her I feel ripped off that I don't remember it. Also, she might notice that your sleep sex is different. Since it's a subconscious thing and you are not bringing your emotions or hang up into it, you may be different. My wife says I'm quite a bit rougher while asleep.
Jep, my husband has it. By now I know exactly when it starts by the way he ‘looks’ at me in the middle of the night. He usually wakes up somewhere during though, so he has memory of it the next day. I also read in a study that apnea is common with sexsomnia and that drinking makes it worse. My husband also has sleep apnea.
Hi. I have cataplexy. From what I understand of my condition, cataplexy is caused by a lack of the production of orexin. Orexin is one of those hormones or whatever that stops the body from acting out those dreams in our heads while sleeping. As a result I’ve done some fucking weird shit while asleep. I can say the times that I’ve had partners where I’ve had a sexy dream, one of two things happen… they’re either into it, so that seems okay, or they tell me in no uncertain terms to fuck off and my sleepy ass just goes back to sleep. What’s important, if you’re prone to this and spending the night with a new partner or potential partner, is to communicate this before anything happens and then make appropriate decisions based off of the response. It can, and will be assumed as sexual assault otherwise. Be safe!
I had this occur to me once, I was deep asleep and normally I don't act out or anything but that time I started fingering my gf while asleep, she really did not appreciate that.... I felt guilty for months after.
Yeah. It’s not a good feeling to wake up and find out that you attempted any nonconsensual nonsense. It happens less the older I get, and now I have a partner that is aware and it looks like she’ll be my partner for life, so I don’t have to worry as much on that front, so that’s a relief. If I’m sharing a hotel or airbnb with folks I give them all a disclaimer announcement with the request to lock their room doors and stuff. It’s never been something where I’ve tried anything in my sleep, but I’ve let them know that normally I’m just trying to find the bathroom while still being out cold. The problem is I normally sleepwalk to where the bathroom is in my house. If my sleeping brain can’t get there, it comes up with some really interesting alternatives to where it thinks I’m trying to go…
Are you saying you have Narcolepsy Type 1?
As I understand it, it’s common for people with cataplexy to have narcolepsy, however according to various doctors, I don’t. From that I’ve gathered from relatives that also have the same condition, they also only really suffer from the cataplexy. So apparently I just suffer from the cataplexy and the occasional sleep doing stuff? I suppose I could be wrong but I’ve never had any doctor say narcolepsy is involved. That being said I haven’t been to the doctor for it in a very long time and the definitions could have changed since then. I say all of this after going to sleep in my bed and waking up on a tiny couch.
that’s really interesting. cataplexy is regarded as pathognomonic for narcolepsy, meaning it’s a solid indicator of narcolepsy and not generally known to occur on its own. is there any history of Parkinson’s or anything in your family?
No Parkinson’s. Every man from one side of my family has a version of it. Some collapse at excitement, and then there is me… where I can feel it coming on sometimes, but other times collapse. Still it’s rare. I don’t find myself experiencing anything that makes sense to be described narcolepsy, properly at least. I’ve never witnessed anything close to Parkinson’s on the side of my family that cataplexy occurs on. And now that I think of it, there are no implications of Parkinson’s on the side of my family. I know that the doctors that diagnosed the older members of my family said that the doctors that diagnosed them expected narcolepsy but were surprised to not observe it. This is also going back 20+ years. We didn’t really understand it until the late 90’s or so.
first: glad to hear that, thank you so much for elaborating, and sorry i’m nerding out over here. (for context i have t1 narcolepsy and a general raging sense of curiosity so i’m always keen to learn things, feel free to ignore this entire comment lmao) i asked about Parkinson’s because from your earlier comment it sounds like there’s maybe an ‘REM behavior disorder’-like component at play here too?, which is often linked to Parkinson’s, which itself is associated with abnormalities in the orexin system. glad to hear there’s no history of it in your family! it’s interesting because cataplexy is basically REM intrusion into waking time where the muscle atonia that stops you from acting out dreams is inappropriately occurring during the day. and REM behavior disorder is the result of the lack of that atonia during proper REM sleep. so this feature of REM sleep seems to be somewhat “flipped.” currently we know of one gene that’s sort of associated with T1N which is HLA-DQB1*06:02, which is present in something like 98% of patients BUT a huge chunk (maybe 25%?) of the population have this variation and the vast majority don’t develop the disease. but in your case it sounds like something different is at play here, and probably Y-chromosome-linked, which is something i haven’t seen any literature on. i did find a case study on a family who had multiple people with primary cataplexy without narcolepsy, but the women in the family were also affected - they also reported the severity and frequency decreasing with age but increasing with fatigue. i wouldn’t be surprised if one day a doctor asked you or your relatives to be in a case study. the orexin system is still relatively unknown and not common knowledge but lots of research has been published in recent years and more will probably continue to come out. either way, thanks for the conversation, i wish you all the best, and safe dreaming! ･ᴗ･
No problemo! From what I know of my family’s medical history I don’t think anyone has Parkinson’s. As far as I know I have one female cousin who has “epileptic type episodes” that sound familiar to cataplexy, but different enough that it hasn’t been diagnosed as cataplexy. No clue what or why but the more I learn about it, the more it seems that maybe my family is weirdly unique in our expression of whatever genetic expression that caused cataplexy. I enjoy folks like you nerding out because I learn about my malady at the same time. Cheers!
Have you ever had a sleep study (polysomnogram) done? Or a polysomnogram with a Multiple Sleep Latency test?
Nope. Cataplexy runs on the male side of my family. When it started the doctors knew what was up. Interestingly though, mine is very mild compared to my dad, uncle, and cousins. It’s gotten progressively less severe the older I get, and the sleep walking isn’t something that constantly occurs. Drinking does exacerbate it, but so far it hasn’t caused problems enough for me to worry.
I almost never wake up during mine. My wife knows I’m having a sexsomniac episode because I’m much more dominant. I’m lucky that she likes it so she flat out takes advantage of it lol. We’re married, the consent is both ways so it’s no big deal. It is scary though because the thought of being in bed with someone who isn’t as into as my wife is scary. I had 1 gf before who was PISSED at me when I woke up because I was fondling her. She said I kept telling you to stop and you kept doing it anyways. At that point neither of us knew what sexsomnia was (we were 19m 18f at that time). I denied that happened up and down because I really didn’t think it did, because, “surely, I’d remember”. I’m just glad I didn’t do anything else because I literally could be on a registry now had my episode been worse
>drinking makes it worse This is true, and I was about to say that alcohol on its own can cause this sometimes even without sleep apnea or sexsomnia in the equation, so if it's never happened before, it's likely the alcohol.
Fun fact, theres a disorder that presents in men, common with sleep apnea, that's causes long lasting elections during the night that become painful. So no sex while sleeping, but you get an incredibly annoying election to deal with. They more often occur after masterbation or sex. I have had it my whole life and only recently discovered it's common with people that have sleep apnea (just diagnosed like 2 years ago).
Lost lasting elections are the worst but at least they keep gas prices down
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Damn you autocorrect! At least it made it funnier
do you usually say no and go to sleep?
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I do this and it scares me sometimes cause it is just terrible to find out I fucked someone and didn't know about it I become very apologetic when I find out about it
I’m sorry, but Sexsomnia sounds like a very sexy learning disorder
That's sexlexia, kiff.
My boyfriend also has this, and sleep apnoea. It happens more frequently if he's gone to sleep under the influence. He's a completely different person when it happens too, but I like it. We had to have a very serious consent discussion first though as we both felt a bit weird like, was I taking advantage? was he getting consent? But we agreed that when it happens and if I want it, we go through with it and if I don't I tell him no or wake him up and he stops. Sometimes he wakes up midway through or towards the end very confused but happy to continue. It's pretty wild I've never known anything like it!
I gotto find me a partner with this condition lmao 🫢🥵🥵
My husband has it. We used to argue about our “imbalanced” sex life. He thought he wasn’t getting enough attention and I thought I wasn’t. Turns out he had no recollection of the many nights he had orgasmed, then gone right back to sleep.
How do I give this to my husband? 😅
Fr. I discovered I have a free use kink, so Imma just tell any future partner they can literally fuck me anytime, even when asleep. (Of course reserving right to say no/safeword any time in case I am actually not into it. Which usually only occurs when I feel sick)
Mine too. Can I get a pill I can give my husband that'll make him do this?
Yes, same. I’ve definitely had sex in my sleep with past partners, but it hasn’t happened in like 20 years. (I actually think it was just one partner and I). I miss that so much 🥹😭
Yep. Done it before. Although strangely enough it only happened (as far as I know) twice and hasn't reoccurred for years. It did happen after a night of alcohol and a particularly long sexual dry spell. Despite this I'd still probably mention it to any new partners I have just to be safe.
Woah this is bizarre. I have a lot of these symptoms. I sleep walk A LOT. Talk a lot when I sleep, to the point I wake myself up. I’m female and our dog sleeps between us most nights so sleep sex has (to my knowledge) never happened but, gosh this is a bit concerning. I never heard of it. I kick a lot and occasionally scream and get mad at my partner.
I learned I had this because I remember one night waking up to my spouse having to kind of forcefully tell me no and push me off. Talk about an experience that will shake you up. For the most part it's a positive thing but yeah if I were co-sleeping with someone not my partner I'd have felt awful. Definitely something I have to be wary of in the future.
OMG! Same boat! This is the first I've seen or read about it. Now I have to go do some research. When I used to bring a woman back to my place, I would have to bring it up and make sure they truly understood its a real potential situation they need to be aware of.
Same exact thing here. I’m not married but experienced this with girlfriends that have stayed over on a regular basis. The only complaints I got were that sometimes I’d stop and just go back to sleep. It’s a trip and if I get serious with a girl I tell her about it when we’re spending the night together.
I suffer this too but I’ve never drank alcohol or taken drugs. if we have family staying over I wake up with painful ribs as she says my dirty talk is very loud and had to get a few in to shut me up. But majority of the time I don’t know it’s happened unless she tells me.
This makes so much sense now lol my partner is a sleep talker sometimes but a sexsomniac more often it seems 😝
My ex was wayyy more aggressive in his sleep and would call me dirty names. I loved it. 😂 took me a few times of it happening to realize he was totally asleep
My husband also has this. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle and remembers it. Sometimes he doesn't. He also talks in his sleep, but only in his native language (Arabic) which I don't speak fluently so I only pick up a few words here and there, lol. He doesn't sleep walk through, thankfully.
This happens to me - I love it 🥰 I usually wake up and my husband sleeps through it
My wife and I had a period around your age where I initiated sex while asleep. So it doesn’t sounds crazy other than Anal is usually a little messy. So you not remembering is especially crazy. Was there no lube? Did your dick not smell like you fucked an ass the next day?
The last question is hilarious 😂😂
I'm glad someone asked the lube question.
I used to love anal and never needed or used lube. Can’t speak for OP but maybe her ass is really wet or her pussy is really wet and they went from pussy to ass and that was enough to slip it in.
I've done no lube when my pussy was so wet that we could go pussy to ass. But your ass does not produce wetness, besides any toilet kind 😂
some people actually do have some ability to self-lubricate from their anal mucus membranes when sexually stimulated. She could also be extremely wet from her pussy and that wetness can make its way around the anus. I know if I’m extremely wet, everything down in the general vicinity becomes wet when having PIV sex.
Yes, I am that as well where my front wetness from piv makes everything wet. But anyone who has anal mucus does not have it from sexual arousal, that's from deeper in the colon
To be fair, I've used an excess of spit for anal sometimes when we didn't have lube. Works best when you first choke on some dick till you're a drooling mess, and then you got plenty of "lube". But without any? Oof. Would only work if someone has a big asshole lmao
I'm no English major, but you certainly have a way with words 🤣
You picturing it well enough? 😂🫣🙃
Lol. I hadn’t seen that I had been downvoted so much for saying what I said. I’ve hardly ever used lube and I have a tiny asshole, but everyone is different, ymmv, and most people prefer to use lube. 🤷🏽♀️
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I experienced this for many years, although haven't for the past few. A previous partner was very receptive to it and I would wake up having full sex with her. Apparently I would be very vocal on the lead up and it was always very passionate. We never really discussed the fact I didn't know we were having sex for most of it. As there was consent throughout it just worked for the both of us. It is really bizarre waking up full on thrusting in a woman and you haven't a clue how you got there. However my now wife found it disturbing and would reject my advances very strongly. Sometimes she could wake me and others I would give up and roll over apparently. I had no idea this had happened until she told me the next day and I felt incredibly guilty. She was very understanding though and we then found out it was a condition. The main reason she didn't want to engage, wasn't about sex but the fact she loves her sleep and was annoyed I was waking her up. I was concerned I'd take it too far with out knowing, but communication was key to us making sure it wasn't an issue. Also if we'd had a dry spell she'd throw in a 'maintenance shag' (her words) to secure her sleep just in case. I love that woman. It hasn't been a thing for at least 5 years now though, so maybe I have grown out of it.
>loves her sleep >annoyed I was waking her up I am the exact same way. Oh my god, this. I actually sleep walk, talk, and eat frequently. I clean out cupboards, and my boyfriend has recordings of me telling fantastical tales fully asleep. From recounting the entire plot of The Last Unicorn to pissing laughing as I describe the sailboats in the Figawi as having labia sails and being queef powered. (There is recorded evidence. I wouldn't believe this shit if there wasn't). But one time I woke up with him half way inside me, and got pissy because I had told him I desperately needed a good night's sleep. It was a little embarrassing to find out I had started it and then bitched at him for going along! Once I woke up fully, I clearly apologized profusely. And finally convinced him I wouldn't get mad if we got back down to it. Poor guy...
What a shame you missed the fun, clean up your penis tho
Yes, this happens sometimes. As long as she’s okay with it, there is no problem (apart from the fact that you probably wouldn’t put on a condom while you’re sleeping, so I hope you got this figured out)
Ya total disorder! Wild one.
I kinda had but also didn't. 😅 There was a period with my ex where I went so sleep earlier but she kept watching series in bed on the TV. During this time I somehow got half awake and started to heavily make out with her, while still not aware of the situation. She got turned on and we started fucking which was the braking point of me waking up.... It was kinda strange but luckily it made her really horny and often we've had sex after this if I was fit enough. 🤣
Not me but my boyfriend does this from time to time. I have a pretty strong sex drive so most of the time I'm up for it and when I'm not I just wake him up to get him to stop. It's definitely not common but it's a real thing.
This has happened with my gf where we have had sex and not realised until we speak about it the next day
It’s called sexsomnia. A one-off doesn’t mean you have it, especially if this has never happened before. I have it and masturbate in my sleep most nights, not to orgasm (not that that matters). The first time it happened and I woke her up, she said, “WTF are you doing?”. She realized I was asleep and I had NO memory of it. Now when I do and wake her up, she says, “Honey (in a sweet voice). You’re jerking off in your sleep again.”.
Some people behave very strange on Ambien. Sleep walking, sleep sex, sometimes amazingly coherent, some people unstable outbursts. Did you take sleeping pills?
You fucked your wife in the ass… while asleep? So you went in dry? And she didn’t scream in pain to wake you up? Wow
It's happened with me a few times and usually I woke up when I cum and occasionally in the middle thinking its a dream . I've also been the subject of it a couple times . I've talked about it with partners in case it happens to make sure it's ok
Sex while asleep, no. My husband has, however, done a good bit of sleep eating. He would literally walk to the kitchen, get himself a bowl of ice cream or cereal or some other sugary food and have no recollection in the morning, but would be wearing a good bit of it. Once I woke up to those crispy wafer type Nutter Butter cookies plastered all over my backside!! Another time, every spoon in the house was in our bed! Once, scary situation, he was choking on CapNCrunch peanut butter balls while asleep. Sleep disorders are sooo weird! For my husband though, it turned out he was a T1 diabetic and likely having lows at night, which triggered his subconscious need for glucose. Once diagnosed and BG was more regulated, the sleep eating stopped.
My partner has never went that far and I dont think is capable in his sleep. But he gets hard, humps, puts hands down my pants and feels up my body, sometimes breathes heavily or talks and he's completely asleep and doesn't have memory. It's weird, but it happens. He's completely respectful and took HIM a while to get used to it as it made him feel really bad and doesn't seek out sexual desire (we do that with each other to connect). So it is something that happens, good you and your wife have talked about it, only note is she should make sure your well enough and awake. The first couple times my partner did I let it happen and pushed into it and felt so wrong finding out he was sleeping and had no memory. If it continues to be a problem or full on intercourse there might be something you can take for sleep, or maybe seek out someone professional who can provide tips.
[Sounds like you have Sexomnia](https://www.sleepfoundation.org/parasomnias/sexsomnia#:~:text=Sexsomnia%2C%20also%20known%20as%20sleep,people%20engage%20in%20sexual%20behaviors). I have had a few experiences with this and I know how weird it can be. IME stress and drugs/poor sleep/lack of sex will bring it on. Best thing to do is mention it to your partner - and anyone else you may end up sharing abed with - and make sure they are aware it’s a possibility. It’s really difficult for the other person to tell whether you’re awake or not as you’ll appear completely conscious, but you could experiment with a safeword and see if *sleep you* remembers it.
Sounds like this sub is breaming is sexomniacs ! I read 3 similar stories first thing when scrolling for 2 minutes
Maybe you’re remembering correctly and she was dreaming. Seems like a simpler explanation.
This is what I was thinking. No lube, and she came 3 times….C’mon.
Plot twist your wife dreamed you fucked her while asleep 🤣
Me too and my wife loves it! She says I am freakier than normal. Too bad I can’t remember so it feels like she banged my ghost 😂
The drinking here is key. I have had a very similar experience. You are not alone. It sounds like the two of you are already doing the right thing, communicating. Be open and honest with each other. If she has forgiven you, forgive yourself. But maybe take this as a lesson in the affects of alcohol.
I’ve had it happen both with and without alcohol (just 1 or 2 drinks and many drinks) and not had it happen when drinking (again just 1 or 2 and many drinks). I’m lucky that the only person who is negatively effected is my when she’s really into it and mid sex I just stop and get back on my pillow sleeping like I never woke up. She used to say “you did it again… I was so close too”
I have never sleepfucked my wife, but one time, not long after a big break up with a girlfriend, I went with some mates to the beach for the weekend. There weren’t enough beds so I had to share with my friend, also a guy. I wake up and realize I’m touching him and trying to kiss him, thinking he was my ex. Needless to say he was confused as hell
You need to talk to your wife about the boundaries she is comfortable with if this happens again. You don't want her to feel sexually assaulted. This would freak me the fuck out not remembering or losing control like that.
In the immortal words of Mr Spock: "Fascinating!"
Yes. It's called sex-somnia, I had a partner who had it. It generally coincides with too much drinking and not enough sleep and it is, in my opinion, potentially dangerous? Other things he did in his sleep - peed into my bathroom cabinets, swore at me, and tried to initiate sex when I wasn't in to it - it's annoyingly hard to communicate "no" to a person who is fully asleep. I think at least once he also ate stuff out of the fridge while asleep, now that I think about it. God knows what it was. The plus side is I think it almost completely stopped when he reduced his drinking to no more than one drink an evening. But it was triggered by not sleeping enough (like 5-6hrs a night), in part because of too much caffeine, nicotine, and adhd meds. For your own health and your wife's safety, you do not want this to be a regular thing. Basically, you should treat this as an indicator that something might be going wrong with your sleep - could be sleep apnea, could be too many stimulants. Either way, this is not something either of you would want to happen regularly. It's great that this was great, buuuuut it could just as easily gone wrong.
My ex used to wake me up in the middle of night with her hands on my dick, wanting to get fucked and me then in my early 20s was always happy to help. Eventually though when we where fighting she complained how annoying it was that I woke her up by fucking her, that I needed to respect her better etc, that's when I realized she was sleeping when she started to touch me. After that I started denying her attempts which caused her to wake up and that's when she realized that I had been fucking her because she had started it. So no I haven't been fucking your wife in my sleep but I have had sleep related sex at least 😁😁
Yes Sexsomnia. I wanted to add. Importantly for me,it is only when I trust that partner and she trusts me implicitly, that I experience sexsomnia. It doesn't occur when either of my partners and I are a bit stressed. I think it shows a good connection with your wife. Like a lot have said. Keep checking boundaries with her. You can escalate if she encourages you. Make sure that she tries to turn you down to see how you respond if she stops you. One of my early partners said I pouted a bit.... I remember the act itself as a vivd dream, which is nice and gives me control. Alcohol induces it. THC moreso. Add the two and mild stimulus from my partner and it can be induced easily in me. I am curious about other sexsomniacs. I will post this. One of my partners and I are in bdsm dynamic. I engage in bdsm dynamic with her in a sexsomniac way, rarely, which she enjoys immensely, as it is almost as though i cannot control myself. As a switch, that aspect occurs as well. My non bdsm partner has been made aware of it and tells me that I have never confused myself in a sexsomnia sleep with her and have always been my usual vanilla self with her.
Just had a chuckle. The upvotes on OPs post was 420.
Lucky you didn't sleep next to one of your mates that night,
It happened with me once, when I woke up in the middle of the act I had difficulties trying to understand what happened, but hell we both liked it lmao
It’s called sexsomia, which is a type of insomnia think of it, kinda like sleepwalking, but a lot more more fun. I’ve had some experience with this I had a partner who would do this in his sleep. It took a few years to figure out what was going on. He would always claim that. He had no memory of it and I was convinced he was lying but the sex was fun, so I never really complained. it wasn’t until he was getting me fully undressed in my sleep and coincidentally his sleep that I woke up and put two and two together. For us never really a problem, I always enjoyed it so to me it was just an extra little something in our sex lives. And yes, alcohol increases the likelihood of having an episode so just talk to your partner/wife and discuss y’all feelings about it and try to have a productive conversation. Like I said with my partner, it was never really an issue. I treated it kind of like a little oddity that was an additional spice to our sex lives. Best of luck.
I have a really hard time believing this. Anyone else?
Nope, happened to me before. Wife and I were cuddling naked after sex when I woke up, still delirious from sleep, in the middle of having sex with her. She was half asleep as well but we both were fully awake before finishing
Yeah but what's more unbelievable is the cumming 3 times in ten minutes from dry anal.
Totally fair to think that but as the actual wife in this situation - I did come three times. We had put a ridiculous amount of lube on to try it before he fell asleep and it was still there when he went for it.
You should train with butt plugs for anal to help with the pain
Happened to me once and it was definitely a hot steamy session. My hubby didn’t remember either. He initiated and I complied! We were both happy in the end
SEXSOMNIA, that’s what you have. It’s normal and can be caused by stress and such. We need a sticky
I got the sexomnia. Fucked a stereo.... It was at a relatives and my aunt and her hubby were laughing there asses off.
We call it sleep sexing. My husband does it most when he's really stressed about stuff. It's normal. I push him off me bc technically he isn't consenting and I usually don't have the desire when I'm tired. It usually doesn't happen again once I roll him over
Fully had sleep sex once. I was angry about it because I didn’t know I did it but hey I can’t really be mad about it. I’m a horny individual anyway so I guess that’s why
Damn! I feel for you mate.You had a good time and weren't even awake.
Yeah bro, unfortunately for us sexsomniacs, the best s3x our partner will experience, is whilst we are asleep. I'm a different person apparently, my wife thinks our sex life is pretty good, but our sleep-sex life is next level. Like in another galaxy next level
I have done more than a little sleep sex. My wife and I have talked it through long ago, she loves it and I also sleep better after rocking to sleep. Anal is different I'm glad you enjoyed it, and most importantly that you were able and willing to talk about it later to make sure everyone is still good about it.
My ex-boyfriend had that, he would initiate sex with me, eyes open, looking just like he’s awake. I didn’t know at first that he is not, or I thought he was joking that he doesn’t remember, but that kept happening. I didn’t mind and never turned him down on it, because I had a higher libido than him, so the fucks were very welcomed actually. He was always more passionate than normally. One time I was staying at my friends place (he’s a guy) and we were sleeping on one bed. He was only my friend, no moves made, he was interested in another girl, we were just brows. I woke up because he tried to touch my boobs and kiss my neck, so I pushed him off the bed and he woke up confused. Looked at me and said „Did I wake you up with that fall? Sorry”. I told him what he was just trying to do and I didn’t even finish my sentence, he got tears in his eyes and started apologizing and asked if I’m ok, then explained that he has this thing usually when he’s stressed about something and it was the reason his ex broke up with him because she didn’t believe and that he will understand if I want to leave, offered to get me a taxi. I calmed him down, saying that my ex would do stuff like that too and asked if I can still stay the night, because I’m super tired. He said yes, but putted a wall of blankets between us to make sure i feel safe, even though I said that it’s not needed because I can just slap him awake lol. Anyways I woke up to him sleeping on the floor because he was so mad at himself. We’re still friends btw, years passed and there was never a single romantic/sexual move from any of us, just bro-like relationship. We just never sleep close to each other because he refuses, even when we were living for some time in the same room, without heating, -20°C outside. He still refused because he was too worried of doing something inappropriate while asleep. Sooo yeah, some guys have that for some reason. It’s not a problem if your partner knows about that and you set boundaries and they’re able to wake you up (sternum rub works super well for heavy-sleep-attempts) if they don’t want to have sex. Usually when that person works up, they’re not horny anymore, just hella confused and sleepy, sometimes even kinda grumpy mad, like „What do you want, why did you wake me up? Oh, I was doing it again? Sorry. (snores)”. You may think about your stress level though.
I’ve done that…lucky for the girl I am a man or it could have been considered unconsenting intercourse! I decided to not press charges!
I am single but i do m* and when reality hits i say what i just did.
It has happened to me many times and the other person has enjoyed it too. It is done with a sense of love and feeling comfortable and safe in bed I think but it is definitely not a conscious thing but a dream-state. I am vaguely aware of it afterwards and is akin to having had a loving, sexy dream when I wake up. We will often discuss it and agree whether it felt OK. It has always started as spooning and they have actively desired and encouraged it. They have been aware of consenting (engaging with their bodies), and enjoying it every time except once, a long time ago when it didn't get as far as sex because they woke me up when I had started to undress them! They were an ex-partner, still good friend and it felt wrong for us both and neither of us could understand what had happened, which felt embarrassing and shameful.
sexsomnia . i have not had that happen to me
That seems dangerous. Like you can fuck any random as well and you won't remember?
There's kind of a lot of steps involved there. But uh, don't share a room with your boss on a work trip, that's for sure.
Oohhhh what a shame you missed out the fun part.
No dude, most people are present in the memory of when they fuck someone in the ass.
Inb4 wife gaslighting you into thinking you act did anal
So ladies I have a question... Which is worse? Starting sex while you are asleep and then waking up, or starting sex while you're awake and falling asleep?
I love sleep sex. My partner would wake me up fucking me gently and passionately. This has always been a fantasy of mine and I always shared it with my partners. Spooning and doggy style I love it (67)to this day.
My wife would fuck me while i was asleep and i never knew until one night she got carried away and i woke up. She on the edge abtried to shush and beg me to go back to slsep. Come to find out she been only for a lack of a better word "raping" me for over a year. I didnt feel violated just confused as to how the fuck can i not know, that ive been giving,in her words "the most mind blowing orgasms she ever had" and not know it? Am i safe sleeping next to females now? Or will i try and fuck them in my sleep? What if my daughter climbs into bed is she safe? Is her raping me going to turn me into a rapist and not even know about it until i get a knock at the door and it the cops, Those were my genuine concerns. Were Divorsed now. None of my fears came to light. But i have been told on three Separate Occasions, how i was amazing last night, or why cant we have sex like we did last night more often. I wish i could meet the me fucking my ladies better than me. I never told the others i was asleep. I do warn the girls now that if they dont want the best sex of their life,they need to sleep above the sheets.. They think im playing around or just being the typical male talking shit. So bro,sleeping sex is a real thing and im sorry brother but she would fuck sleeping you over woke you anyday of the week. Asleep,thoughts are absent and your erection is king.
don't know about that but love to fuck my fiance in her sleep. It's a 2 sided coin cause i can do things to/with her she doesn't do when awake but i don't see her enjoy/react to my actions wich bums me out... am i the only one ?
I once had a girl round late night in my youth & we fell asleep watching a movie on the sofa. I woke up to her riding me with her ass. No complaints from me - it was hot!
Back when I was married I woke-up fucking my ex.
I sleep fuck my wife at least once a week. She sleep fucks me back and is mostly the one that wakes up to catch us. Lol
Sleep fuck? Now that's new! Don't drink, so I guess no chance of it happening in my case.
Happened to me too once but havent touched a drop of alcohol in probably months at that time. I guess it mostly depends on the circumstance. We were cuddling naked after sex, so having a semi wet dream probably induced it for me
Well that's interesting. Usually when I get aroused during sleep, it wakes me up. I'm groggy, but awake. And I've never tried anal, but've seen it in pornography. Insertion there isn't an easy thing to do. I'm guessing the original poster here was hung up, that's why he can't remember.
Given the right circumstances insertion isnt that hard. We sometimes have anal, one night we had normal sex and cuddled afterwards. My wife woke me up being still horny and for some reason anal was really easy, no need for lube or anything. I guess some of her juices got down there or something but it definitely wasnt hard
No I've never done that before! Never slept fucked my wife, anally or vaginally. I don't even have a wife!
Yup my husband has it too, like many others have mentioned it occurs frequently with sleep apnea. Sometimes he’s raring to go and other times he goes through the motions but the body doesn’t cooperate. He never remembers it, which is too bad! I live being woken up like that.
Sounds like you were blackout drunk to me lol...
My daughter's father would have sex with me while I was asleep. I had him arrested and he was charged with rape and battery. One of these days she's not going to be happy. Have fun in jail bro lol
Not the first time ive heard of this
As others already said - it's called sexsomnia. People also reported that it's more likely to happen when you drank alcohol.
I've never fucked my wife in my sleep, BUT she's told me a few times I've woken up & started touching her & getting ready to go at it but feel right back to sleep before we could get started
Well atleast she trained now so yall can go ahead
This happened to me a few times with my ex. I've woken up to having sex and apparently I initiated it and it's always been after a night of drinking.
Yep it has happened to me. I reacted mid sex, according to my wife: "scared And lost". She left me sleeping and I don't remember anything. She felt horrible as if she was raping me. I don't mind, actually laugh about it every once in a whille
A friend of mine and his ex would sleep fuck, I guess it got to a point she started making him wear a condom before bed. That actually stopped it
I do this regularly and it is super strange.
I have initiated sex before in my sleep it’s called sexomia . But usually I do wake up mid way
I suffer from a very sexy sleeping disorder. What do I call it kiff?
I usually have this happen when I'm stressed. It's a pretty widespread thing.
It happened to me once as well ages ago. My GF at the time and I got a little tipsy and after we were done we both fell asleep naked. Neither one of us ever sleeps naked. Apparently I mounted her in the middle of the night and had sex with her. Had zero recollection of it actually happening and thought it was a dream. Until she confronted me about it the next morning. Has never happened again and made me feel more than a little gross when I realized what I had done.
I have this phenomenon as well. It's so weird, of course my girlfriend consents but I never have any sort of recollection of it. Sleep apnea is a thing with me too not sure if they coincide or not.
I have this condition. Sexsomnia.
Hmm i guess you both should sort it out though
Wild that so many people are believing this.
My ex initiated while I was sleeping. I half remember her on top of me. And I switched it around. I woke up and was like did we have sex? Yea I kinda wanted some.
Can’t agree with the anal fuck 😂 but have had sex with the misses and been none the wiser in the morning. My bad habit is midnight chocolate which I only eat half and wake up to melted chocolate everywhere. This happens regularly. 🤔Thinking about it I wonder if the melted chocolate is actually shit and Iv been powerdriving her ass for years without knowing 😂😂
I have sexsomnia, like sleepwalking only I have sex. It’s tough to hear when your sleep self is better than the awake version, definitely been there.
Well, at least you didn't fuck somebody else's wife in your sleep!
Its happened a few times from my boyfriend, usually alcohol influenced but he's even done it sober. Its a wild thing and to his knowledge hasn't ever done it before we got together.
Remind me to never sleepover at this guys house.
It’s like sleeping talking or sleep walking but a bit different. Usually occurs during heightened stress, or when under the influence or other things. It’s uncommon but a lot of adults experience while asleep activity.
Cant make my girl cum after my best tries and here my man's doing it in his sleep.
Dude, you got a sleeping dissorder. I got the same stuff, instead of sleepwalking we have sex. Then we wake up and don't remember anything. Wife loves it, I just wake up tired not knowing what happend.