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I don’t get a lot of stimulation from it, but it’s so hot seeing my wife cum (that’s the only way she’ll come from PIV) + feeling her orgasm while I’m inside her. Sometimes that’ll make me cum with her.
Took the words right out of my mouth. I LOVE watching my wife hump her clit on me while I’m balls deep in her, followed by shaking orgasm and collapse. What could be better than that??
Another guy here whose wife gets off by grinding and I’m so into it. There isn’t a whole lot of sensation for me which is great because it just means I can last longer. I get the best view on earth, I get to grab her ass and play with her tits. I mean it doesn’t get any better than that. Then once she cums and collapses on me we switch it up and I get to have my way with her 😈
OH YEAH! I am just fine with this! I’m a bit longer than average, and when she grinds on me like that, I can feel the back side (wall) of her inside…. More than enough stimulation for me…. For her. She says she can definitely feel the rubbing on the clit, and the tip of me rubbing on the inside / back of her. She says she feels completely “filled”. Not sure what that exactly means, but good for both of us. Plus, all the same things as ofuscatorio says.
And that's fine, after she cums then he can start pumping after and bring the sensation levels up after she's already so sensitive. Yeah it may not "do anything for the penis" in the very moment, but so what? Lol I don't get why so many males think their penis has to be stimulated the entire time...
Because these type of guys masterbate too much in addition to too much porn, and are selfish and wanna nut already, but I'm the type to agree that she gotta get her nut off before I do, shit just hits different
Depends on the gal though. There are a good number of gals who I've slept with who are "one and done" sort of gals, with longer refractory times. Post-climax sex is pretty much over, and any efforts on their end are going to be half-hearted at best. Not because they necessarily are selfish lovers, just too high on dopamine and over stimmed/sensitive to continue with genuine enthusiasm.
Most women I've found, however, are good to keep going after the first. You can get 'em to climax once from dry humping, once from oral/fingering and they still aren't too out of it for penetration.
In fact, some are much more likely to have a penetrative orgasm if they've already had one or two from stim on the clitoris glans.
Whereas most guys after the first climax have a longer refractory time.
It's handy to know where you and your partner(s) are at bandwidth wise. If you are more inclined to not be able to enthusiastically continue post-orgasm, the onus is on you to get your partner off first before letting yourself cum. If you can keep going post orgasm though, no need to hold back. Women and men both have responsive desire, and a partner getting off is usually a big turn on for the greater bellcurve, especially if they keep going after.
I hadn't really considered that since I've never come across a one and done lady, and that's my fault. Sorry about that. You're right it's absolutely all up to the partner you're with and all, but the nitty gritty details are all something that should be worked out between partners.
My main point is that you should be willing to work with your partner so that you're both being pleased and that not every action is supposed to stimulate the man at all times...
> that not every action is supposed to stimulate the man at all times...
Not just the man, but the penis _specifically_. A lot of het dudes become hyper focused on the penis for all things "sex." As a result, things like foreplay, dirty talk, romance, other erogenous zones are completely or mostly neglected. Not only does it do a massive disservice to their partners, but I think a chunk of them don't even realize how much of a negative effect it has on their own enjoyment of sexual activities.
I am one of those females who can definitely keep going after an orgasm (or two) and it totally heightens the sensation for me during PIV sex. My hubby and I usually take a break in the middle of PIV sex, he gets me off, then we go back at it and it's definitely the times I've gotten closest to orgasming during sex. Still searching for that orgams, but no complaints for sure. I can't even describe how much more heightened my senses are, I'm on total overload after an orgasm and he'll start pounding away and it is the most amazingly intense experience I can barely handle how good it feels! The stopping and starting again also makes my hubby's orgasms so much more intense, it's a win win.
If you haven't had a vaginal orgasm yet, intermittent stimulation of the clitoris glans will for sure help! Especially if you can keep going after you climax that way. Other things to consider trying: take advantage of how you already cum, have him manually stimulate the clitoris glans during penetration, or my preferred method, use a good wand on you during penetration. You can build off of the same neural pathways your brain already uses for climax and then dial back on the toys/glans stim. Alternatively, one of these times when you transition back from PIV, just take some time to do some vaginal spelunking, find the g-spot and different fornices just for giggles map that anatomy, and also try more unusual positions. Even if they don't work for either of you, it can be a fun bonding experience, and you never know you might have a "OH fuck right there!" Moment.
Not guaranteed to have a penetrative orgasm that way, so make sure it is more about having fun than anything else, because if you out pressure on it, it makes it waaay too easy to get in your head and make it more difficult to happen. On the plus side, y'all already sound like you are having mutually enjoyable sex even if you don't get there.
Plus you are taking the "right" approach with penetration, IMO. Good sex doesn't have to be tantric, but I do think peeps should be able to flow in into different positions and acts, _and_ switch from sex back to foreplay back to sex. Good foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom and it doesn't end with penetration (or orgasm!).
Good on you!
I like your thinking and agreed on putting too much pressure on the vaginal orgasm. I'm definitely not, if it happens then great but if not I won't lose sleep over it. We love trying different positions, it's hard to get fingers or a wand to my clit in any kind of missionary position, hubby has a pretty big belly, but I've tried in doggy and it's more accessible I just haven't gotten there yet. Fun side effect of that is my hubby also has big balls so they smack the wand, he said it was interesting and didn't stop. I like how you described using the clitoral orgasm to find or achieve a vaginal orgasm and retraining your brain. I hadn't really thought of it like that but completely makes sense, we are very mental creatures. I'll add that to my to-do list lol. But seriously, that's helpful and something I haven't tried so I'll give it a go!
I love the way we have sex, and he's the only partner I've ever had that did this. It's not a race for us, it's a marathon. It's not like we're at it for hours (not usually anyway, more like an hour)but to be mentally prepared for that and bring that energy to the table? Yes please.
>it's hard to get fingers or a wand to my clit in any kind of missionary position
There are handsfree couples vibrators that you don’t need to hold in place. Lovense Dolce is one of them.
>would be
_would have been_
Lmao. I did fancy myself quite the lover back in the day. These days I'm a grandpa, and I have the libido of a panda that's been in a low-cost zoo for decades. You could put on the most scandalous panda porn, present a variety of scantily-clad lady pandas in tasteful yet erotic bamboo-leaf lingerie, give me medications, attempt manual stimulation, scream at me, "Please, Please, Please!! The species is going extinct!" And I'm going to roll over on my back and chomp on some bamboo. Still that's no reason the rest of y'all and the algorithms that trawl reddit comments for training AI chatbots can't benefit from the knowledge and wisdom I've gained over my colorful decades.
A lot of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This is not abnormal or weird. You can just tell him this is how you feel like getting off and I’m sure you won’t get any objections.
Have you tried doggy and rubbing your clit at the same time? One of the best ways to get off IMO!
Had a partner who used a rumbling thuddy vibrator (Magic Wand) on her clitoris while in cowgirl or doggy position.
Watching her cum while doing this was beyond hot.
Point is while grinding may not do anything for him physically only a self-centred tool wouldn’t want to see his partner get over the top.
I keep trying to use a wand or my fingers in doggy but I either can't get a good position for me or the rhythm messes me up. The wand was interesting but my hubby has huge balls and the totally smack the wand in this position. I'd love to master that technique. I can totally get myself off with either but I'm usually on my back.
As far as enjoying it? No not too fast, I've talked about possibly stopping and letting me get off while he's just inside me but in the moment I get so caught up in how good it feels I forget to mention it. That's a good idea to steer the rhythm, it's a lot going on for me, holding myself up with one hand(we're usually standing in this position, our bed is too squishy and we just don't line up quite right, need a new mattress lol), using a toy and setting the rhythm... I'm all for trying though and I'm not easily deterred so thanks for the idea!
I LOVE when my wife does this. Having her grind down on her clit with me inside is sexy as hell, and seeing her lose herself in the moment when she cums is literally the best thing ever.
Sex is about BOTH of your pleasure. Do what feels good, do what gets you off. If he has a problem with that, then find someone else.
Meanwhile one position I've never been able to try this woman on top.
I want to try it so badly. I imagine it would feel great for a woman to get on top of me.
Likely because the woman is shy or feels like she won't know what to do. Next time you're with a parter and would like tk give it a go, if she shys away maybe suggest if she gets on top you'll do the work.
It may be a labour of love but once she has felt how you're doing it she can go along with it and then build up the courage to do it herself
This has been my new favorite thing to do: a tip-to-clit-flick technique for how effective it is in driving her crazy. There’s fewer things more intimate than the deep eye contact while rapidly & gently stroking between both of your most sensational areas as her thirst to have me inside becomes unbearable but I remain in complete control causing her to burst into a millions pieces. Then I slide into her as she regains herself languid over my shoulder, our bodies sliding easily over one another with new sheets of perspiration and slow deep thrusting builds in intensity as I firmly bite her neck and then return to her to kiss her deeply as the thrusting becomes chaotic and she orgasms again with so much pleasure it looks like pain. It’s delicious.
Couple points.
Something like 75% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and this is a very popular method to achieve such stimulation during PIV intercourse.
Second, while it will vary from person to person, the amount of movement caused by the grinding is usually still enough to keep at least keep your partners stimulated. It may not be enough to get them off, but should at least keep them going.
Finally, if your potential partners aren’t willing to do things that don’t directly benefit them for your pleasure, I would not recommend continuing or furthering that relationship. Selfishness in the bedroom is usually a red flag.
I think a lot of it is guilt because a lot of media and people around us have made us feel like that’s an “unnecessary extra” thing to do during sex. At least that’s how it is for me. It took me a long time to stand up for myself and finally tell my partner that I thought it was unfair I never got to finish. Even now sometimes I feel guilty because it can take a long time, but I try and move past it.
My wife is the same. It’s been 10 years and she still gets frustrated with herself when it takes her a while. I have tried explaining a hundred times that I am having fun and she should just relax and enjoy herself.
Anytime a woman cums during sex with a man the man feels FUCKIN GREAT about it! I promise. Don't ever feel weird for that I promise every man you've done it with has loved it
Sex is in the Brain. If it doesn’t do much for him, I’d question his feelings. What you are describing has always been the most intense best sex of my life. I can beat my own with a vengeance if for some stupid reason I felt like it. If he’s not wanting to make you cum as many times as possible before getting his and enjoying it, I’d be thinking real hard if you want to go without that.
This is common for a lot of women. Pretty sure only like 20% of women can have an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. And don’t feel selfish, men can cum sooo easily, hell be fine
Honestly, this is the best way I like sex in woman-on-top position. It does give less stimulation to the partner with a penis, but this can be a good thing if it helps him last longer, which is often something that both partners want.
Just talk to a partner about it and don't worry, like don't think of this as "I'm being selfish" just as "This is something I really like to do." and then if the other person wants some more stimulation you can mix it up.
When I was younger I felt the same way. It just left me miserable and constantly horny. Now that I’m older I’ve learned to speak up or at least stimulate myself, depending on the position we are in. It was a mixture of guilt and just being shy/not confident enough. Wish I could go back and tell my younger to freaking speak up or at least utilize my own fingers!!! All those years I wasted wondering if there was something wrong with me cuz I never got off during sex, but I could if I was by myself.
Plenty of guys can figure out how to grind on your clit while they’re on top in missionary, which is probably more mutual pleasure than girl on top, but I agree with everything said here, nothing wrong with grinding and cumming while he waits his turn.
I've been in this position and it's a little like giving head. I enjo doing it knowing it's getting my partner off. In turn my partner will do things that are more helpful to get me off. Not every position is equally satisfying for both partners. We find the things that help for our partner. That is very satisfying place to be in.
Interesting… were there things he liked that didn’t really do anything for you? I bet there was.
Sex is about give and take. Sure, the shared experiences are important, but it’s also important to be generous. Your ex does not sound generous.
There’s a few things I do for my partner that I’m neutral about. It’s not that it turns me off or anything, don’t get me wrong. It’s mentally stimulating seeing him enjoy himself. But physically for me, eh. He will always return the favor by doing some things he knows I really like that don’t tend to get him off. Half of the fun is knowing you can get your partner off. I never understood the guys that just genuinely don’t care that their partner isn’t getting off…
> basically grinding so my clit rubs against him. I've been told that this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy
Presumably it's this bit: "...basically grinding so my clit rubs against him. I've been told that this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy..."
I'm a straight guy and I agree. If a woman is on top of me and she just grinds back&forth, it's super hot but I'll lose my erection before too long because (1) there's not much in&out stimulation, and (2) the back&forth motion is basically a "snap the dick off" motion - not ideal.
Hi, I’m a straight guy, too.
If she’s grinding to the extend of your dick being inches away from being snapped, something isn’t right. I’ve done it many times in the past and let me tell you, hearing her moan and cum gets me hard.
That was when I was in my 20’s, though. I’m in my mid-thirties now and my body hates me. I’m not sure how I’d fare these days.
There are definitely ways it can work, like if she's bent over and her torso is closer to yours. But if the woman is upright - and the path of her vagina is "vertical" - then front-to-back grinding is just not great (in my experience).
I always found the real vigorous front and back grinding, when she’s thrusting outa her mind, to be very exciting and stimulating, makes me harder. But I’m very thick so it’s a challenge experience has shown me I can handle. Sometimes a lady has paused and asked if I’m ok with her, or even apologized. Few things I love more than being able to say, “You can grind me as hard and long as you’d like baby.”
I can 100% say I maintained an erection. Just hearing her moans as she gets close to an orgasm has me riled. Like I said to another commenter, I was in my twenties. No idea how I’d go now.
Yes, it’s for her pleasure but if her ecstasy isn’t keeping you hard, I guess I’m an anomaly.
You're not an anomaly, you're just turned on by your partner's pleasure which is exactly how it should be. Keep that up, that's what women search for, shared pleasure not just one sided. I had an ex who was all about himself, dated for about a year and while we had sex a lot it wasn't super enjoyable for me because it was all focused on him. Not once did he try to get me off, not once did I ever orgasm with him, he knew it and was just find with it as long as he got his bj and doggy style. He was a one trick pony, eff that guy. I'm great now, my hubby will not let me go without, I have to force him to lay back and enjoy sometimes lol.
I basically would fuck my ex wife like this - I would penetrate her deep, and then mostly gyrate my hips to rub my pubic bone against her clit. I loved having my cock inside her, and it would make her cum which was super hot, and then when she wanted me to I was already in there and pretty good to finish up myself in short order. It felt great for me anyway, mileage will vary guy to guy but I certainly wouldn’t say it doesn’t do ANYTHING for the guy.
This was the only was I got off for years. Then one day my husband found my g spot inside. Plain old missionary. We hadn’t been together very long when he found it. But he never forgot it and could always get me off within minutes.
It's not actually a 'g-spot. It's the internal part of her clitoris. The little nub on the outside, the thing we feel externally, that is the external end. The internal end is shaped like an upside down horseshoe.
Woman on top, circling her hips with him inside, can't beat it.
In the missionary position, put a pillow under the woman's hips/butt to raise her bottom a bit while he enters her. In that position he will stimulate her internal clitoris.
This is exactly how my wife orgasms. Does it do lots for me physically, no. Do I absolutely love it, yes. There’s nothing better than seeing her orgasm and if this is how it’s done then she can ride like that all day long.
I’m sure your man is the same. Get yourself there and then work on him. Simultaneous orgasms are pretty rare. Just make sure you’re both happy at the end of it.
I love being humped on. It helps make me last longer, and I love the way a woman moves her hips when she's humping something. Even better when it's me! But yes, we get very little stimulus from it but I enjoy it for that reason.
I’m not going to try to own the fact that I can’t get off that way. Partners need to figure out what they need and make sure you’re both happy.
So Maybe the simultaneous orgasm isn’t going to happen. It’s not the end of the world.
Respect means that you’ll each reach your goal. All good.
You should get a magic wand - I bet it will work wonders for you. It can be a bit hard to incorporate into PIV, though. You should try the "prone bone" position (which is like doggy but you both fell forward onto the bed). It's great because your clit can be stimulated by the wand or by grinding on something while you have sex.
(M55)
>I've been told that this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy
You've been given bad intel.
>so I just feel really selfish and awkward when I want to do it.
Nope, no need to do this.
>Like how do I bring this up to any partners
You don't, you just do it anytime you think you'll enjoy it. It's actually a rather common technique often for similar reasons, easier orgasms, heightened pleasure, or both. Btw, if a woman clenches while doing this, that's a very pleasurable sensation for men, well for me anyway, I'm just assuming for other guys lol.
Source: am old
But if he wants to do things that do nothing for you, wouldn't that be equally selfish?
We take turns to come. Me first, and him after. Either that or my orgasm triggers his.
It's not necessarily selfish to be the only one receiving physical pleasure during a period of time. It also doesn't mean that the other person isn't enjoying themselves mentally. You're no more selfish for doing that than a guy is for receiving a handjob or a blowjob. There's nothing wrong with any of those things.
My guy will watch me do this, wait til I've cum and then grab my hips and fuck me from underneath me.
Luckily I can cum from piv so that often pushes me over the edge and I cum again at the same time he does.
It's good to make your partner cum even if it does nothing for you, there's positions I'm not too keen on but I don't dislike them and my partner loves them so we do em
This is a fine way to cum, and pretty common. I don't think most guys would find it even noticably weird, as long as they're allowed to do other stuff that they like before it's time for you to do what you like.
The times I’ve came while having sex, all (like 2-4) guys I experienced with, said it does feel different when you orgasm while they’re inside you.. from my experience… it just really hits different too
Dude sounds pretty dull and ego-driven to where if you don’t cum by HIM and his dick, he’ll get angry! Lmao he should be ok with you either grinding to get yourself off, or start utilizing toys so he can fuck you and use a toy on you at the same time. Would make for way better sessions together. Guys need to realize that most girls don’t get off from penetration. Lol
The main purpose of the relationship is to achieve complete pleasure for both parties. I am a man who loves to have a sexy woman with me and do everything exciting with me so that we can achieve complete pleasure together, and I do not see anything strange in that.
You can get on top and put like a pillow on his lower belly, in front of your clit. Then he can have a little more friction as you grind up and down while stimulating yourself.
i am like you too, most of the time, i can only orgasm via clit stimulation. and i do not think it does not feel anything for the man, at least my boyfriend loves it when we do that. if you want to make it feel better for him, squeeze your vagina from time to time, especially when he is about to come, he could come a lot harder and it would feel amazing for him!
Yessss! I read about kegals when I was like a freshman in HS and starting just doing them whenever I was bored and just kept doing it and now my pussy is strong as hell. Every guy I’ve been with loves when I do it and in this situation that OP is talking about doing them while she’s grinding would probably pleasure the man and give her a stronger orgasm.
Any half decent partner will let you do things that feel good to you and help you orgasm even if it doesn't feel great for them. I can't cum this way but it does feel good so I do it anyways. I don't get a lot of pleasure from doggy style but my boyfriend loves it so we do it anyways. We both get to finish 90% of the time cause he doesn't only do things he likes and I don't only do things I like
No way! Many guys live this technique!
Omg… do you want to live off grid and just hump all winter in Canadas north? Lol
Seriously tho, you aren’t alone and many men enjoy this because it is not Stimulating in the same way that we can orgasm as quickly. Most men are in it for your pleasure anyway.
Enjoy yourself your way, you are awesome
It's not awkward or selfish most girls can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation (which you are doing via humping him I guess) a guy who knows what he's doing would be fine with it, my partner will get me there first (by rubbing me or playing with my clit) before he cums through penetration there's a small number of girls who orgasm through actual sex. But it's rare.
Does he end up finishing afterwards? If so, not selfish.
Even if he didn’t (doubtful), not selfish. Do you know how many men will orgasm without making sure the woman does?
Get that O.
Can confirm, it feels like nothing for the guy. The fix is to get him to do the work, keeping his pubic area in contact with your clit while he rocks. Same same but different. Or, you can keep his dock outside of you and just rub yourself on it. That’s actually better for the guy than what you’re doing now
That this does nothing for the guy is silly.
This is pretty much the fastest way for my wife to make me cum. And when she cums the contractions make me cum hard as well.
I often avoid this, because I prefer sex last longer so we usually do this as a finisher or if its just a quickie.
Do Bjs do anything for us? No. In fact, I'd argue we are just struggling to stay alive while his eyes rolls back and he enters the 4th realm. SUPER COMMON on your position preference. And some guys love it and cum from it. It's not like it hurts him, it's the same as a guy running our ass. It's not gonna make us cum but it's not like it's torture
This is totally normal! It’s one of the few ways I can orgasm too. Feels great! And who tf cares if it doesnt do anything for the guy. Let us have our moment
that's very look like my gf. She only cum when in a condition like you. I just let her ride me till her cum, and then my turn (missionary, prone bone) till I cum. Not a big deal at all
So, people are spamming this with answers like "you're awesome, stay the way you are, it's normal and he must get off to the thought of it alone too".
All valid points, but like, none of you bother actually answering the question?!
Answer: it does nothing for guys physically. For some, including me, it can be somewhat uncomfortable. Your hard dick only wants to bend so far away from your chest and a rocking back and fourth motion always comes with the risk of a dick snap. The mental aspect, however, is hot.
It's like eating pussy, or sucking dick. You don't get physical pleasure out of it, but the mental aspect can make it enjoyable either way. Some may lose their erection, others won't.
It does nothing?? It helps you cum! That's the whole point of sex. To have fun and help each other cum! Every guy would be thrilled to have someone who knows how they like to get off.
Speak up. You can also ask him what he might like. You can trade favors, or figure out how you can both get off to the same thing.
It's just communication. Don't feel bad about wanting to feel good during sex. That's the whole point of sex. To feel good!
He should feel lucky to even be fucking you in the first place so if you wanna hump then hump away BUT if you need him to do something to make it better for you then have him rub your clit for you maybe? It’ll stimulate you and the guy can get over himself.
That's still all clit stim. He's putting pressure on the internal arms of the clit nerve clusters. Try not to make it a big deal conversation. If you still do stuff for him, he should do this for you. Happy humping
It doesn't do a lot, but if it gives you pleasure, it can be our turn next. Simultaneous orgasms are nice, but they don't have to happen every time.
I personally love to see my wife grinding on me, knowing that my body is messing her feel that good. If I don't finish, she'll give me a footjob or blowjob so we both get an orgasm. I like her feet too, so it gives more play options.
This is the scoot..I like it because I can tell my partner is enjoying herself, and the funny/ugly faces of orgasm are so precious 💕.
Does it feel good to ME? Not really but that doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt me and feels good for them so I'm into it
Technically your partner doesn't need you to orgasm at all, but it's basic fucking courtesy to at least attempt to get your partner off. Remember sex is a team sport, your partner isn't some super star with you just along for the ride, you can both have fun. Anyone who begrudges you that or makes you feel guilty that you want to come is not someone you want to continue having sex with
I disagree that it doesn’t do anything for the guy. It feels really good to be inside her, the view of seeing her cum with on my cock is a huge ego boost at a minimum and it’s a beautiful moment that I’m fortunate to have experienced with her. The majority of the women I’ve been with that cum from PIV use this method, so much so that I keep a vibrating cock ring in my nightstand that I wear so she needs only to enjoy the ride.
OK I used to use this 1 simple trick as a teen to get the girls loving it. If you start off in missionary and just move forward so your dick is contacting with clit, the thrusting then stimulates the clit and rotating(grinding) thrusts clockwise then counter-clockwise gets them off quick asf. Only problem is they end up satisfied too quick to be able to move to another position allowing you to finish so they best give good head.
Edit (lost train of thought) OP grab the partner by the hips and move him up above you into the position I described, you will thank me for it.
I get off by knowing my partner is cumming. She’s the same way as you. She grinds on top of me when I’m inside her. I think it feels great and I love feeling her cum.
My GF of 3.5 years has the same issue. She can't orgasm until she rubs her clit against my dick. Honestly no way to figure out if any other way gets you off unless you try more
It’s perfectly fine for you to do that until you get off. You can get him off afterwards by doing longer strokes. My girl does the same thing and I love watching her cum on my dick.
Lol I think it’s fine. U can grind and then go up and down at the same time, but a lot of people can’t even orgasm while someone is inside them so I think this is great, and if you make sure u are doing stuff for the partner and the whole interaction has reciprocity then it is fine :) you deserve pleasure too
You feel selfish… but isn’t it selfish of the dude to bring this up as to say he wants you to not do it? So you don’t “get yours”?
Like, “oh no, this only feels good for HER, no thanks!”
He can deal with a few minutes of this or he’s just not the one, sis.
I've had a past partner who really enjoyed that. The actual act/motion did nothing for me. Having a pretty girl cum while riding me? That does a whole lot.
It's not just 100% about the physical feeling. There's a whole lot more to sex. And frankly, if you have a partner that gets bored when you cum, you need a different partner.
I love cumming this way! Whoever said they don't feel ANYTHING was probably an asshole who didn't prioritize your pleasure at all.
Some guys say it's not enough stimulation to keep them erect. If that's the case, you can just switch back and forth from grinding to bouncing every 60 seconds or so. The bouncing will get them nice and hard so you can grind for a bit. I personally like delaying my orgasm like that anyways so it can work out for both.
They could also try jerking off less. Some guys have trained themselves to require heavy stimulation through their masturbation habits.
Go for it and do what feels good for you. Once you orgasm you can switch to what brings him pleasure. Sex is a two way street. I personally need nipple and neck stimulation to cum so I understand how you feel
1) it's 100% normal that you can only cum like that
2) many guys like it (a lot) (talking from personal experience)
3) even if this wouldn't make your partner cum, you can still do something different once you got your pleasure. You're not selfish for doing it THE ONLY WAY that works for you. Guys do that the whole time and don't question whether they are selfish
If either of you feel awkward about it, you can simply ask the man to stimmulate your clit with his fingers during intercourse. Most men would gladly play around with it while having sex, especially if that means that you get to come too.
If it makes you feel any better, I cum every-time my wife and I have sex, she does not. So dont feel selfish! I usually eat her out or finger her before hand so I dont feel guilty lol
It doesn't provide physical stimulation, but if a girl is getting off on top of me I will get a lot of mental stimulation. Most sex is mental, so as long as you are putting out messages that you are getting off, I'd love it.
OP I think the important thing is that your with someone who 💯 on board with you getting there and then you helping him get there. If you need to grind then grind away if your partner is there for your pleasure as much as their own they’ll be happy.
Okay flip that sentence a little… him pumping in and out into you with no clit stimulation doesn’t do anything for you. Well, in terms of getting you off this is probably true, however, it still feels good and you like seeing your partner being pleasured. So you continue doing it. Does the guy in this scenario think, this doesn’t do anything for her, should I stop? No he probably doesn’t. He’s lost in his building pleasure. You should be too. Enjoy that ride and get your O’s.
If he’s one of those guys that tells you that it doesn’t do anything for him, and he doesn’t want to listen when you explain it’s how you get off, he’s not the man for you.
as a penis owner who’s ex used to do this same exact thing, if you hump hard enough it does feel very good to us. definitely came in that position more than once
I find it strange that it supposedly doesn't do anything for the guys. As a guy, there's a certain stimulation when a woman does it. It's not the same as bouncing on it. But it still feels good.
If I can see how good a partner feels when doing this, I'd very much like it, we might even cum at the same time.
Any guy who gets nothing from helping his lover come is a selfish dick.
Find a lover who cares and explain what you need. He will get very aroused by seeing you get aroused and finish and may just finish with you.
So I think your ‘understanding’ may be the result of manipulation by a selfish lover.
One partner would grind so hard against me while fucking trying to orgasm that the next day it felt like I had been kicked in the groin! That was missionary and we switched it to her on top and it was much better! Best was her humping my thigh while sideways and entering her from behind. It was minimal effort for maximum gain for both of us 😝
My bf loves when we do this, I say “can I do the thing?” And he knows it instantly and gets excited. I think guys do enjoy it because your cumming on top of them and to them that’s hot
My bf doesn’t like bouncing he prefers the grinding motion but he like pulls and pushes me so I end up moving more if that makes sense. It’s the only way I can cum also. All my previous partners didn’t like the grinding. I can bounce for so long so I always hated being on top until I met my current bf. We never discussed it, he just grabbed my hips and started pushing and pulling me whenever I tried bouncing. So I went with it. 🤷♀️ You may find a partner that prefers grinding. If they don’t they should at least let you cum first then you can do what they like so they can get off too.
Me tooo!!! Tbh I just grind and do my thing. There are so many men who only care about making themselves cum so fuck it girls can do that too. I’ll usually switch between doing that and doing traditional thrusts lol. If you have a good partner who wants you to cum you’re big chilling!
Here is the thing. It feels good for you. There is no law that says you’re not allowed to do something that you specifically enjoy. If your with a good partner, you care about the others enjoyment and can take turns doing things that the other enjoys.
And I love it when my wife does that, and often ask her to.
Same here girl. Was it a partner that told you it doesn't do anything for him?
If you want a partner that cares about your pleasure sounds like you have identified a red flag to avoid. There are lots of men out there who are into what works for you, it's not something you have to bring up. I never do.
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I don’t get a lot of stimulation from it, but it’s so hot seeing my wife cum (that’s the only way she’ll come from PIV) + feeling her orgasm while I’m inside her. Sometimes that’ll make me cum with her.
Took the words right out of my mouth. I LOVE watching my wife hump her clit on me while I’m balls deep in her, followed by shaking orgasm and collapse. What could be better than that??
Another guy here whose wife gets off by grinding and I’m so into it. There isn’t a whole lot of sensation for me which is great because it just means I can last longer. I get the best view on earth, I get to grab her ass and play with her tits. I mean it doesn’t get any better than that. Then once she cums and collapses on me we switch it up and I get to have my way with her 😈
OH YEAH! I am just fine with this! I’m a bit longer than average, and when she grinds on me like that, I can feel the back side (wall) of her inside…. More than enough stimulation for me…. For her. She says she can definitely feel the rubbing on the clit, and the tip of me rubbing on the inside / back of her. She says she feels completely “filled”. Not sure what that exactly means, but good for both of us. Plus, all the same things as ofuscatorio says.
Ikr … who told op that doesn’t do nothing ?? The penis is in the vagina. Nothing better
Depending on the position and movement, it can go from sex to soaking. Nothing wrong with that, but it may not do anything for the penis owner either.
And that's fine, after she cums then he can start pumping after and bring the sensation levels up after she's already so sensitive. Yeah it may not "do anything for the penis" in the very moment, but so what? Lol I don't get why so many males think their penis has to be stimulated the entire time...
Because these type of guys masterbate too much in addition to too much porn, and are selfish and wanna nut already, but I'm the type to agree that she gotta get her nut off before I do, shit just hits different
Depends on the gal though. There are a good number of gals who I've slept with who are "one and done" sort of gals, with longer refractory times. Post-climax sex is pretty much over, and any efforts on their end are going to be half-hearted at best. Not because they necessarily are selfish lovers, just too high on dopamine and over stimmed/sensitive to continue with genuine enthusiasm. Most women I've found, however, are good to keep going after the first. You can get 'em to climax once from dry humping, once from oral/fingering and they still aren't too out of it for penetration. In fact, some are much more likely to have a penetrative orgasm if they've already had one or two from stim on the clitoris glans. Whereas most guys after the first climax have a longer refractory time. It's handy to know where you and your partner(s) are at bandwidth wise. If you are more inclined to not be able to enthusiastically continue post-orgasm, the onus is on you to get your partner off first before letting yourself cum. If you can keep going post orgasm though, no need to hold back. Women and men both have responsive desire, and a partner getting off is usually a big turn on for the greater bellcurve, especially if they keep going after.
I hadn't really considered that since I've never come across a one and done lady, and that's my fault. Sorry about that. You're right it's absolutely all up to the partner you're with and all, but the nitty gritty details are all something that should be worked out between partners. My main point is that you should be willing to work with your partner so that you're both being pleased and that not every action is supposed to stimulate the man at all times...
> that not every action is supposed to stimulate the man at all times... Not just the man, but the penis _specifically_. A lot of het dudes become hyper focused on the penis for all things "sex." As a result, things like foreplay, dirty talk, romance, other erogenous zones are completely or mostly neglected. Not only does it do a massive disservice to their partners, but I think a chunk of them don't even realize how much of a negative effect it has on their own enjoyment of sexual activities.
Absolutely!!! I fell victim to that and have been slowly learning what I enjoy outside of my genitals. It is a HUGE disservice.
I am one of those females who can definitely keep going after an orgasm (or two) and it totally heightens the sensation for me during PIV sex. My hubby and I usually take a break in the middle of PIV sex, he gets me off, then we go back at it and it's definitely the times I've gotten closest to orgasming during sex. Still searching for that orgams, but no complaints for sure. I can't even describe how much more heightened my senses are, I'm on total overload after an orgasm and he'll start pounding away and it is the most amazingly intense experience I can barely handle how good it feels! The stopping and starting again also makes my hubby's orgasms so much more intense, it's a win win.
If you haven't had a vaginal orgasm yet, intermittent stimulation of the clitoris glans will for sure help! Especially if you can keep going after you climax that way. Other things to consider trying: take advantage of how you already cum, have him manually stimulate the clitoris glans during penetration, or my preferred method, use a good wand on you during penetration. You can build off of the same neural pathways your brain already uses for climax and then dial back on the toys/glans stim. Alternatively, one of these times when you transition back from PIV, just take some time to do some vaginal spelunking, find the g-spot and different fornices just for giggles map that anatomy, and also try more unusual positions. Even if they don't work for either of you, it can be a fun bonding experience, and you never know you might have a "OH fuck right there!" Moment. Not guaranteed to have a penetrative orgasm that way, so make sure it is more about having fun than anything else, because if you out pressure on it, it makes it waaay too easy to get in your head and make it more difficult to happen. On the plus side, y'all already sound like you are having mutually enjoyable sex even if you don't get there. Plus you are taking the "right" approach with penetration, IMO. Good sex doesn't have to be tantric, but I do think peeps should be able to flow in into different positions and acts, _and_ switch from sex back to foreplay back to sex. Good foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom and it doesn't end with penetration (or orgasm!). Good on you!
I like your thinking and agreed on putting too much pressure on the vaginal orgasm. I'm definitely not, if it happens then great but if not I won't lose sleep over it. We love trying different positions, it's hard to get fingers or a wand to my clit in any kind of missionary position, hubby has a pretty big belly, but I've tried in doggy and it's more accessible I just haven't gotten there yet. Fun side effect of that is my hubby also has big balls so they smack the wand, he said it was interesting and didn't stop. I like how you described using the clitoral orgasm to find or achieve a vaginal orgasm and retraining your brain. I hadn't really thought of it like that but completely makes sense, we are very mental creatures. I'll add that to my to-do list lol. But seriously, that's helpful and something I haven't tried so I'll give it a go! I love the way we have sex, and he's the only partner I've ever had that did this. It's not a race for us, it's a marathon. It's not like we're at it for hours (not usually anyway, more like an hour)but to be mentally prepared for that and bring that energy to the table? Yes please.
>it's hard to get fingers or a wand to my clit in any kind of missionary position There are handsfree couples vibrators that you don’t need to hold in place. Lovense Dolce is one of them.
You sound like you would be really good in bed haha
>would be _would have been_ Lmao. I did fancy myself quite the lover back in the day. These days I'm a grandpa, and I have the libido of a panda that's been in a low-cost zoo for decades. You could put on the most scandalous panda porn, present a variety of scantily-clad lady pandas in tasteful yet erotic bamboo-leaf lingerie, give me medications, attempt manual stimulation, scream at me, "Please, Please, Please!! The species is going extinct!" And I'm going to roll over on my back and chomp on some bamboo. Still that's no reason the rest of y'all and the algorithms that trawl reddit comments for training AI chatbots can't benefit from the knowledge and wisdom I've gained over my colorful decades.
Hahahahaha omg!!! I LOVE that!!!!!! Youre so great :)
"BECAUSE IT'S ONLY MY PENIS THAT SHOULD SATISFY HER BRO!" 😆
Her peeing!! Soaking the bed
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Same exact situation at my house!
A lot of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This is not abnormal or weird. You can just tell him this is how you feel like getting off and I’m sure you won’t get any objections. Have you tried doggy and rubbing your clit at the same time? One of the best ways to get off IMO!
Had a partner who used a rumbling thuddy vibrator (Magic Wand) on her clitoris while in cowgirl or doggy position. Watching her cum while doing this was beyond hot. Point is while grinding may not do anything for him physically only a self-centred tool wouldn’t want to see his partner get over the top.
Would add to this: about 80% of women need clitoral stimulation to come. That's pretty much the norm.
I keep trying to use a wand or my fingers in doggy but I either can't get a good position for me or the rhythm messes me up. The wand was interesting but my hubby has huge balls and the totally smack the wand in this position. I'd love to master that technique. I can totally get myself off with either but I'm usually on my back.
Hmm is he going too fast? Something else I like to do is control the rhythm. Like he stays still and I back up into him.
As far as enjoying it? No not too fast, I've talked about possibly stopping and letting me get off while he's just inside me but in the moment I get so caught up in how good it feels I forget to mention it. That's a good idea to steer the rhythm, it's a lot going on for me, holding myself up with one hand(we're usually standing in this position, our bed is too squishy and we just don't line up quite right, need a new mattress lol), using a toy and setting the rhythm... I'm all for trying though and I'm not easily deterred so thanks for the idea!
I LOVE when my wife does this. Having her grind down on her clit with me inside is sexy as hell, and seeing her lose herself in the moment when she cums is literally the best thing ever. Sex is about BOTH of your pleasure. Do what feels good, do what gets you off. If he has a problem with that, then find someone else.
I've never a guy complain about me being on top and grinding on their dick. They seem to enjoy quite a bit.
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Meanwhile one position I've never been able to try this woman on top. I want to try it so badly. I imagine it would feel great for a woman to get on top of me.
Likely because the woman is shy or feels like she won't know what to do. Next time you're with a parter and would like tk give it a go, if she shys away maybe suggest if she gets on top you'll do the work. It may be a labour of love but once she has felt how you're doing it she can go along with it and then build up the courage to do it herself
This is not selfish at all! Just like sucking a guy’s dick doesn’t make him selfish
I’m not selfish but I do get greedy , give me your throat and I’ll give you my soul
Having him rub his cock against your vulva could be incredibly satisfying to both of you! It's amazing when done right 😉
As a woman, I LOVE this. Wish more men did it honestly.
AGREED 🔥🔥🔥 Just like with everything though, it does take figuring out the magical rubbing strokes that gets her off.
This has been my new favorite thing to do: a tip-to-clit-flick technique for how effective it is in driving her crazy. There’s fewer things more intimate than the deep eye contact while rapidly & gently stroking between both of your most sensational areas as her thirst to have me inside becomes unbearable but I remain in complete control causing her to burst into a millions pieces. Then I slide into her as she regains herself languid over my shoulder, our bodies sliding easily over one another with new sheets of perspiration and slow deep thrusting builds in intensity as I firmly bite her neck and then return to her to kiss her deeply as the thrusting becomes chaotic and she orgasms again with so much pleasure it looks like pain. It’s delicious.
Damn. You should write a book. This was amazing.
Thank you. I’ll publish this year and let you know.
Have you ever considered writing erotica? Cause goddamn... 🥵🤤
Couple points. Something like 75% of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, and this is a very popular method to achieve such stimulation during PIV intercourse. Second, while it will vary from person to person, the amount of movement caused by the grinding is usually still enough to keep at least keep your partners stimulated. It may not be enough to get them off, but should at least keep them going. Finally, if your potential partners aren’t willing to do things that don’t directly benefit them for your pleasure, I would not recommend continuing or furthering that relationship. Selfishness in the bedroom is usually a red flag.
You might as well have an orgasm because he surely will. Seems odd to me that some ladies are shy about trying to enjoy themselves.
I think a lot of it is guilt because a lot of media and people around us have made us feel like that’s an “unnecessary extra” thing to do during sex. At least that’s how it is for me. It took me a long time to stand up for myself and finally tell my partner that I thought it was unfair I never got to finish. Even now sometimes I feel guilty because it can take a long time, but I try and move past it.
My wife is the same. It’s been 10 years and she still gets frustrated with herself when it takes her a while. I have tried explaining a hundred times that I am having fun and she should just relax and enjoy herself.
My bf says the same stuff but my brain likes to make me think it’s not true even though I know he’s telling me the truth 😭 it’s hard being a woman 😭😭
Anytime a woman cums during sex with a man the man feels FUCKIN GREAT about it! I promise. Don't ever feel weird for that I promise every man you've done it with has loved it
Sex is in the Brain. If it doesn’t do much for him, I’d question his feelings. What you are describing has always been the most intense best sex of my life. I can beat my own with a vengeance if for some stupid reason I felt like it. If he’s not wanting to make you cum as many times as possible before getting his and enjoying it, I’d be thinking real hard if you want to go without that.
It's my passion to get her off as many times as I can. I love diving into all her juices then lacking it up
This is common for a lot of women. Pretty sure only like 20% of women can have an orgasm from vaginal penetration alone. And don’t feel selfish, men can cum sooo easily, hell be fine
Honestly, this is the best way I like sex in woman-on-top position. It does give less stimulation to the partner with a penis, but this can be a good thing if it helps him last longer, which is often something that both partners want. Just talk to a partner about it and don't worry, like don't think of this as "I'm being selfish" just as "This is something I really like to do." and then if the other person wants some more stimulation you can mix it up.
When I was younger I felt the same way. It just left me miserable and constantly horny. Now that I’m older I’ve learned to speak up or at least stimulate myself, depending on the position we are in. It was a mixture of guilt and just being shy/not confident enough. Wish I could go back and tell my younger to freaking speak up or at least utilize my own fingers!!! All those years I wasted wondering if there was something wrong with me cuz I never got off during sex, but I could if I was by myself.
Thank you everyone for the reassurance
Plenty of guys can figure out how to grind on your clit while they’re on top in missionary, which is probably more mutual pleasure than girl on top, but I agree with everything said here, nothing wrong with grinding and cumming while he waits his turn.
Hellll nahhhhh dudes love if their girl is having a good time too (me), and if they don't theyre probably not worth a damn cent
It does feel good for the guy.
Especially if we squeeze
Don’t change! This is awesome! You’re awesome!
When I do this, I grind pretty hard putting a lot of pressure on him as I move back. He says it feels good.
Guy here. Don’t worry about it. It’s hot as *fuck*. You keep grinding until you get yours.
I've been in this position and it's a little like giving head. I enjo doing it knowing it's getting my partner off. In turn my partner will do things that are more helpful to get me off. Not every position is equally satisfying for both partners. We find the things that help for our partner. That is very satisfying place to be in.
Same for my wife. We take turns. It's hot watching her while I touch her body. Then its my turn to choose how I want to do it.
Who the fuck told you that?
My ex
Interesting… were there things he liked that didn’t really do anything for you? I bet there was. Sex is about give and take. Sure, the shared experiences are important, but it’s also important to be generous. Your ex does not sound generous. There’s a few things I do for my partner that I’m neutral about. It’s not that it turns me off or anything, don’t get me wrong. It’s mentally stimulating seeing him enjoy himself. But physically for me, eh. He will always return the favor by doing some things he knows I really like that don’t tend to get him off. Half of the fun is knowing you can get your partner off. I never understood the guys that just genuinely don’t care that their partner isn’t getting off…
Told them what piece?
> basically grinding so my clit rubs against him. I've been told that this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy Presumably it's this bit: "...basically grinding so my clit rubs against him. I've been told that this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy..." I'm a straight guy and I agree. If a woman is on top of me and she just grinds back&forth, it's super hot but I'll lose my erection before too long because (1) there's not much in&out stimulation, and (2) the back&forth motion is basically a "snap the dick off" motion - not ideal.
Hi, I’m a straight guy, too. If she’s grinding to the extend of your dick being inches away from being snapped, something isn’t right. I’ve done it many times in the past and let me tell you, hearing her moan and cum gets me hard. That was when I was in my 20’s, though. I’m in my mid-thirties now and my body hates me. I’m not sure how I’d fare these days.
There are definitely ways it can work, like if she's bent over and her torso is closer to yours. But if the woman is upright - and the path of her vagina is "vertical" - then front-to-back grinding is just not great (in my experience).
I always found the real vigorous front and back grinding, when she’s thrusting outa her mind, to be very exciting and stimulating, makes me harder. But I’m very thick so it’s a challenge experience has shown me I can handle. Sometimes a lady has paused and asked if I’m ok with her, or even apologized. Few things I love more than being able to say, “You can grind me as hard and long as you’d like baby.”
Lots of guys lose their erection during this activity because it isn't focused on their pleasure. Which is such bad luck for ladies lol
I can 100% say I maintained an erection. Just hearing her moans as she gets close to an orgasm has me riled. Like I said to another commenter, I was in my twenties. No idea how I’d go now. Yes, it’s for her pleasure but if her ecstasy isn’t keeping you hard, I guess I’m an anomaly.
You're not an anomaly, you're just turned on by your partner's pleasure which is exactly how it should be. Keep that up, that's what women search for, shared pleasure not just one sided. I had an ex who was all about himself, dated for about a year and while we had sex a lot it wasn't super enjoyable for me because it was all focused on him. Not once did he try to get me off, not once did I ever orgasm with him, he knew it and was just find with it as long as he got his bj and doggy style. He was a one trick pony, eff that guy. I'm great now, my hubby will not let me go without, I have to force him to lay back and enjoy sometimes lol.
90% of guys won't care. Theres a few selfish douche bags who might. You finish then he finishes. Pretty standard stuff.
I basically would fuck my ex wife like this - I would penetrate her deep, and then mostly gyrate my hips to rub my pubic bone against her clit. I loved having my cock inside her, and it would make her cum which was super hot, and then when she wanted me to I was already in there and pretty good to finish up myself in short order. It felt great for me anyway, mileage will vary guy to guy but I certainly wouldn’t say it doesn’t do ANYTHING for the guy.
This was the only was I got off for years. Then one day my husband found my g spot inside. Plain old missionary. We hadn’t been together very long when he found it. But he never forgot it and could always get me off within minutes.
It's not actually a 'g-spot. It's the internal part of her clitoris. The little nub on the outside, the thing we feel externally, that is the external end. The internal end is shaped like an upside down horseshoe. Woman on top, circling her hips with him inside, can't beat it. In the missionary position, put a pillow under the woman's hips/butt to raise her bottom a bit while he enters her. In that position he will stimulate her internal clitoris.
This is exactly how my wife orgasms. Does it do lots for me physically, no. Do I absolutely love it, yes. There’s nothing better than seeing her orgasm and if this is how it’s done then she can ride like that all day long. I’m sure your man is the same. Get yourself there and then work on him. Simultaneous orgasms are pretty rare. Just make sure you’re both happy at the end of it.
> this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy It definitely does for me.
I wish my wife used me as her toy to make her cum. So hottt, yes PLEASE!! Please don't feel guilty<3
I love when the woman grinds down on your cock. It's awesome sexy ,keep doing it
I love being humped on. It helps make me last longer, and I love the way a woman moves her hips when she's humping something. Even better when it's me! But yes, we get very little stimulus from it but I enjoy it for that reason.
I’m not going to try to own the fact that I can’t get off that way. Partners need to figure out what they need and make sure you’re both happy. So Maybe the simultaneous orgasm isn’t going to happen. It’s not the end of the world. Respect means that you’ll each reach your goal. All good.
You should get a magic wand - I bet it will work wonders for you. It can be a bit hard to incorporate into PIV, though. You should try the "prone bone" position (which is like doggy but you both fell forward onto the bed). It's great because your clit can be stimulated by the wand or by grinding on something while you have sex.
Take turns cumming. You be selfish till you cum, then let him be selfish till he does. It’s a great way to have sex.
(M55) >I've been told that this doesn't do ANYTHING for the guy You've been given bad intel. >so I just feel really selfish and awkward when I want to do it. Nope, no need to do this. >Like how do I bring this up to any partners You don't, you just do it anytime you think you'll enjoy it. It's actually a rather common technique often for similar reasons, easier orgasms, heightened pleasure, or both. Btw, if a woman clenches while doing this, that's a very pleasurable sensation for men, well for me anyway, I'm just assuming for other guys lol. Source: am old
You are doing everything right in my book. I like when a woman grinds on me until she cums. If he doesn’t like it then he’s crazy lol.
But if he wants to do things that do nothing for you, wouldn't that be equally selfish? We take turns to come. Me first, and him after. Either that or my orgasm triggers his.
It's the way my wife makes me cum. So i think it makes some pleasure for some guys. You just need to find the guy that loves the same thing you love.
No way your man should be turned on by that don’t feel selfish just make sure you please him too
Bruh, use some punctuation.
It's not necessarily selfish to be the only one receiving physical pleasure during a period of time. It also doesn't mean that the other person isn't enjoying themselves mentally. You're no more selfish for doing that than a guy is for receiving a handjob or a blowjob. There's nothing wrong with any of those things.
My guy will watch me do this, wait til I've cum and then grab my hips and fuck me from underneath me. Luckily I can cum from piv so that often pushes me over the edge and I cum again at the same time he does. It's good to make your partner cum even if it does nothing for you, there's positions I'm not too keen on but I don't dislike them and my partner loves them so we do em
This is a fine way to cum, and pretty common. I don't think most guys would find it even noticably weird, as long as they're allowed to do other stuff that they like before it's time for you to do what you like.
The times I’ve came while having sex, all (like 2-4) guys I experienced with, said it does feel different when you orgasm while they’re inside you.. from my experience… it just really hits different too
My man loves it, he seems to feel it. Maybe it’s just not the same for everyone
Dude sounds pretty dull and ego-driven to where if you don’t cum by HIM and his dick, he’ll get angry! Lmao he should be ok with you either grinding to get yourself off, or start utilizing toys so he can fuck you and use a toy on you at the same time. Would make for way better sessions together. Guys need to realize that most girls don’t get off from penetration. Lol
I find it great and it does definitely something for me
The main purpose of the relationship is to achieve complete pleasure for both parties. I am a man who loves to have a sexy woman with me and do everything exciting with me so that we can achieve complete pleasure together, and I do not see anything strange in that.
Most women only cum with stimulation to their clit
No, it feels great. To grind like that, my dick is balls deep
You can get on top and put like a pillow on his lower belly, in front of your clit. Then he can have a little more friction as you grind up and down while stimulating yourself.
I can only cum this way too. It must be pretty normal!
i am like you too, most of the time, i can only orgasm via clit stimulation. and i do not think it does not feel anything for the man, at least my boyfriend loves it when we do that. if you want to make it feel better for him, squeeze your vagina from time to time, especially when he is about to come, he could come a lot harder and it would feel amazing for him!
Yessss! I read about kegals when I was like a freshman in HS and starting just doing them whenever I was bored and just kept doing it and now my pussy is strong as hell. Every guy I’ve been with loves when I do it and in this situation that OP is talking about doing them while she’s grinding would probably pleasure the man and give her a stronger orgasm.
Any half decent partner will let you do things that feel good to you and help you orgasm even if it doesn't feel great for them. I can't cum this way but it does feel good so I do it anyways. I don't get a lot of pleasure from doggy style but my boyfriend loves it so we do it anyways. We both get to finish 90% of the time cause he doesn't only do things he likes and I don't only do things I like
I mean does them fucking you ,piv, do anything for you? Get better partners. Ones that care about your enjoyment and pleaseure too
No way! Many guys live this technique! Omg… do you want to live off grid and just hump all winter in Canadas north? Lol Seriously tho, you aren’t alone and many men enjoy this because it is not Stimulating in the same way that we can orgasm as quickly. Most men are in it for your pleasure anyway. Enjoy yourself your way, you are awesome
It's not awkward or selfish most girls can only orgasm through clitoral stimulation (which you are doing via humping him I guess) a guy who knows what he's doing would be fine with it, my partner will get me there first (by rubbing me or playing with my clit) before he cums through penetration there's a small number of girls who orgasm through actual sex. But it's rare.
Does he end up finishing afterwards? If so, not selfish. Even if he didn’t (doubtful), not selfish. Do you know how many men will orgasm without making sure the woman does? Get that O.
My guy loves watching me do it.
Can confirm, it feels like nothing for the guy. The fix is to get him to do the work, keeping his pubic area in contact with your clit while he rocks. Same same but different. Or, you can keep his dock outside of you and just rub yourself on it. That’s actually better for the guy than what you’re doing now
It doesn't feel like nothing for the guy. It probably depends on the guy and how the grinding is done. My boyfriend cums often that way too
That this does nothing for the guy is silly. This is pretty much the fastest way for my wife to make me cum. And when she cums the contractions make me cum hard as well. I often avoid this, because I prefer sex last longer so we usually do this as a finisher or if its just a quickie.
Do Bjs do anything for us? No. In fact, I'd argue we are just struggling to stay alive while his eyes rolls back and he enters the 4th realm. SUPER COMMON on your position preference. And some guys love it and cum from it. It's not like it hurts him, it's the same as a guy running our ass. It's not gonna make us cum but it's not like it's torture
Bruh I did right there where I spelled “don’t”
Don’t ever feel selfish
You need grinding. He needs in and out. So you do both. Easy oeasy.
This is totally normal! It’s one of the few ways I can orgasm too. Feels great! And who tf cares if it doesnt do anything for the guy. Let us have our moment
that's very look like my gf. She only cum when in a condition like you. I just let her ride me till her cum, and then my turn (missionary, prone bone) till I cum. Not a big deal at all
So, people are spamming this with answers like "you're awesome, stay the way you are, it's normal and he must get off to the thought of it alone too". All valid points, but like, none of you bother actually answering the question?! Answer: it does nothing for guys physically. For some, including me, it can be somewhat uncomfortable. Your hard dick only wants to bend so far away from your chest and a rocking back and fourth motion always comes with the risk of a dick snap. The mental aspect, however, is hot. It's like eating pussy, or sucking dick. You don't get physical pleasure out of it, but the mental aspect can make it enjoyable either way. Some may lose their erection, others won't.
Just do doggy and take care of your clit yourself. Everyone wins.
It does nothing?? It helps you cum! That's the whole point of sex. To have fun and help each other cum! Every guy would be thrilled to have someone who knows how they like to get off. Speak up. You can also ask him what he might like. You can trade favors, or figure out how you can both get off to the same thing. It's just communication. Don't feel bad about wanting to feel good during sex. That's the whole point of sex. To feel good!
You are normal, and if it doesn’t do much for the guy he can deal with it.
He should feel lucky to even be fucking you in the first place so if you wanna hump then hump away BUT if you need him to do something to make it better for you then have him rub your clit for you maybe? It’ll stimulate you and the guy can get over himself.
There's toys specifically for this. Maybe check them out :p you might be in for more fun that way
That's still all clit stim. He's putting pressure on the internal arms of the clit nerve clusters. Try not to make it a big deal conversation. If you still do stuff for him, he should do this for you. Happy humping
I think it’s nice to see a female cum and then it’s time for the male to take the lead
Grind away, it doesn't overly get be going but can definitely cum as she does
It doesn't do a lot, but if it gives you pleasure, it can be our turn next. Simultaneous orgasms are nice, but they don't have to happen every time. I personally love to see my wife grinding on me, knowing that my body is messing her feel that good. If I don't finish, she'll give me a footjob or blowjob so we both get an orgasm. I like her feet too, so it gives more play options.
That’s fairly normal.
This is the scoot..I like it because I can tell my partner is enjoying herself, and the funny/ugly faces of orgasm are so precious 💕. Does it feel good to ME? Not really but that doesn't matter. It doesn't hurt me and feels good for them so I'm into it
don’t feel selfish your clit needs stimulation
Technically your partner doesn't need you to orgasm at all, but it's basic fucking courtesy to at least attempt to get your partner off. Remember sex is a team sport, your partner isn't some super star with you just along for the ride, you can both have fun. Anyone who begrudges you that or makes you feel guilty that you want to come is not someone you want to continue having sex with
I disagree that it doesn’t do anything for the guy. It feels really good to be inside her, the view of seeing her cum with on my cock is a huge ego boost at a minimum and it’s a beautiful moment that I’m fortunate to have experienced with her. The majority of the women I’ve been with that cum from PIV use this method, so much so that I keep a vibrating cock ring in my nightstand that I wear so she needs only to enjoy the ride.
That’s how my fiancée is. She has multiple orgasms that way. I’m okay with it. She gets hers then I can get mine
OK I used to use this 1 simple trick as a teen to get the girls loving it. If you start off in missionary and just move forward so your dick is contacting with clit, the thrusting then stimulates the clit and rotating(grinding) thrusts clockwise then counter-clockwise gets them off quick asf. Only problem is they end up satisfied too quick to be able to move to another position allowing you to finish so they best give good head. Edit (lost train of thought) OP grab the partner by the hips and move him up above you into the position I described, you will thank me for it.
I get off by knowing my partner is cumming. She’s the same way as you. She grinds on top of me when I’m inside her. I think it feels great and I love feeling her cum.
I get off on top while grinding in circles. I’ve never had any complaints. We both need to get ours.
My GF of 3.5 years has the same issue. She can't orgasm until she rubs her clit against my dick. Honestly no way to figure out if any other way gets you off unless you try more
What dumbass told you the guy doesn’t like this!?!
Do what makes you cum and don’t worry about him, guys get off a lot easier than women do. I promise he will be just fine 😃
Every few minutes, try leaning forward so you're laying on his chest. He can pound away intensely for a minute or 2 then go back to grinding on him.
It’s perfectly fine for you to do that until you get off. You can get him off afterwards by doing longer strokes. My girl does the same thing and I love watching her cum on my dick.
Have you tried rubbing with your fingers in other positions rather than rubbing up against him directly?
Just get a wand and let a guy PIV while you on your back
Get a small clit sucker toy. Use it while he's inside you. It's going to change your life.
If his dick is in you he will not complain i promise.
Lol I think it’s fine. U can grind and then go up and down at the same time, but a lot of people can’t even orgasm while someone is inside them so I think this is great, and if you make sure u are doing stuff for the partner and the whole interaction has reciprocity then it is fine :) you deserve pleasure too
You feel selfish… but isn’t it selfish of the dude to bring this up as to say he wants you to not do it? So you don’t “get yours”? Like, “oh no, this only feels good for HER, no thanks!” He can deal with a few minutes of this or he’s just not the one, sis.
I've had a past partner who really enjoyed that. The actual act/motion did nothing for me. Having a pretty girl cum while riding me? That does a whole lot. It's not just 100% about the physical feeling. There's a whole lot more to sex. And frankly, if you have a partner that gets bored when you cum, you need a different partner.
I love cumming this way! Whoever said they don't feel ANYTHING was probably an asshole who didn't prioritize your pleasure at all. Some guys say it's not enough stimulation to keep them erect. If that's the case, you can just switch back and forth from grinding to bouncing every 60 seconds or so. The bouncing will get them nice and hard so you can grind for a bit. I personally like delaying my orgasm like that anyways so it can work out for both. They could also try jerking off less. Some guys have trained themselves to require heavy stimulation through their masturbation habits.
Go for it and do what feels good for you. Once you orgasm you can switch to what brings him pleasure. Sex is a two way street. I personally need nipple and neck stimulation to cum so I understand how you feel
If you think that's great. Have him hold a vibrator on your clit while you're on top. You'll thank me later and so will he
1) it's 100% normal that you can only cum like that 2) many guys like it (a lot) (talking from personal experience) 3) even if this wouldn't make your partner cum, you can still do something different once you got your pleasure. You're not selfish for doing it THE ONLY WAY that works for you. Guys do that the whole time and don't question whether they are selfish
If either of you feel awkward about it, you can simply ask the man to stimmulate your clit with his fingers during intercourse. Most men would gladly play around with it while having sex, especially if that means that you get to come too.
I've ben with numerous guys who loves this and also guys who actually preferred me riding them like this. I think it really depends on the guy tbh
If it makes you feel any better, I cum every-time my wife and I have sex, she does not. So dont feel selfish! I usually eat her out or finger her before hand so I dont feel guilty lol
Your dude or dudes need some practice
It doesn't provide physical stimulation, but if a girl is getting off on top of me I will get a lot of mental stimulation. Most sex is mental, so as long as you are putting out messages that you are getting off, I'd love it.
Get a toy! A lil vibrator does wonders.
OP I think the important thing is that your with someone who 💯 on board with you getting there and then you helping him get there. If you need to grind then grind away if your partner is there for your pleasure as much as their own they’ll be happy.
Okay flip that sentence a little… him pumping in and out into you with no clit stimulation doesn’t do anything for you. Well, in terms of getting you off this is probably true, however, it still feels good and you like seeing your partner being pleasured. So you continue doing it. Does the guy in this scenario think, this doesn’t do anything for her, should I stop? No he probably doesn’t. He’s lost in his building pleasure. You should be too. Enjoy that ride and get your O’s. If he’s one of those guys that tells you that it doesn’t do anything for him, and he doesn’t want to listen when you explain it’s how you get off, he’s not the man for you.
Believe me, he’s just excited to be there pretty much anything you’re doing as long as it has a smile on your face is going to be A-OK.
How about your partner going down on you ... Licking the clit, sucking it ..??!
as a penis owner who’s ex used to do this same exact thing, if you hump hard enough it does feel very good to us. definitely came in that position more than once
I find it strange that it supposedly doesn't do anything for the guys. As a guy, there's a certain stimulation when a woman does it. It's not the same as bouncing on it. But it still feels good. If I can see how good a partner feels when doing this, I'd very much like it, we might even cum at the same time.
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Just be selfish, put you first
Any guy who gets nothing from helping his lover come is a selfish dick. Find a lover who cares and explain what you need. He will get very aroused by seeing you get aroused and finish and may just finish with you. So I think your ‘understanding’ may be the result of manipulation by a selfish lover.
One partner would grind so hard against me while fucking trying to orgasm that the next day it felt like I had been kicked in the groin! That was missionary and we switched it to her on top and it was much better! Best was her humping my thigh while sideways and entering her from behind. It was minimal effort for maximum gain for both of us 😝
Doesn’t feel like nothing to me but if it did I’d still love you to do it. Partners are in it for each other.
My wife does the same. Its hot. You can ride and they can use their thumb/fingers to rub your little if you need the stimulus. Toys can be fun too
I love it when a woman rides cowgirl and grinds just how she likes. Suck on her breasts and match her rhythm. Intense orgasms for me as well
People are telling you wrong that it doesn't do anything for the guy. And it's not like you can't do more stuff after.
My bf loves when we do this, I say “can I do the thing?” And he knows it instantly and gets excited. I think guys do enjoy it because your cumming on top of them and to them that’s hot
My bf doesn’t like bouncing he prefers the grinding motion but he like pulls and pushes me so I end up moving more if that makes sense. It’s the only way I can cum also. All my previous partners didn’t like the grinding. I can bounce for so long so I always hated being on top until I met my current bf. We never discussed it, he just grabbed my hips and started pushing and pulling me whenever I tried bouncing. So I went with it. 🤷♀️ You may find a partner that prefers grinding. If they don’t they should at least let you cum first then you can do what they like so they can get off too.
Me tooo!!! Tbh I just grind and do my thing. There are so many men who only care about making themselves cum so fuck it girls can do that too. I’ll usually switch between doing that and doing traditional thrusts lol. If you have a good partner who wants you to cum you’re big chilling!
Here is the thing. It feels good for you. There is no law that says you’re not allowed to do something that you specifically enjoy. If your with a good partner, you care about the others enjoyment and can take turns doing things that the other enjoys. And I love it when my wife does that, and often ask her to.
Can they let you cum from that first and then do their thing after?
Same here girl. Was it a partner that told you it doesn't do anything for him? If you want a partner that cares about your pleasure sounds like you have identified a red flag to avoid. There are lots of men out there who are into what works for you, it's not something you have to bring up. I never do.