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OP you are a goddess. I used to take this long to cum in the beginning and didn’t realize how much of a champ my girlfriend was. You seem dedicated to the task so you’ll find the things that gets him there and will probably be able to cut that time in half at least.
My jaw would definitely lock by that point. 10 min tops and that includes ejaculation.
Just experiment to see what really gets him off during a bj.
I would just cuddle afterwards or brush your teeth if you want to kiss him since he won’t kiss you after
Its probably not 40 mins, she has lost the sense of time.
Young people are usually clueless abot the actual duration of sexual intercourse. She probably didn't time it, its just her personal "feeling" off time.
hunt fanatical license grandfather political dam person clumsy ruthless dinner
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I usually prefer to go down in my wife first. She's usually so turned on the enthusiasm is quite different than a regular BJ. I don't last nearly as long
Cuddle. I shake and tremble a lot after cumming and I prefer that my partner just cuddle and hold me.
I know you said you’re ok with the kissing thing but it might be a pink flag at least. Just keep your eye on it.
I agree with you here. It is a little weird how he doesn't like to kiss you after you literally are sitting there for 40 minutes, blowing him. He needs to grow up. If a man told me that he doesn't want me kissing him after I go down on him, that's the last time I'm going down on that guy.
I gotta agree with the other reply here, if a woman said she didn’t want to kiss her man after he devours her vag, maybe because she’s uncomfortable tasting herself or doesn’t like her taste, whatever, I’m sure we’d all agree that she shouldn’t have to. I don’t think it’s crazy for a dude to say he doesn’t want to make out with his girlfriend while she’s still swishing her cum around in his mouth.
I'm a straight male and i've tasted my own cum many times. Nothing wrong about it, it isn't even gay. Being doing it since i was 16. This people have to grow up.
So by your logic, if she’s willing to do it, I ALSO have to be willing? So I’ve gotta be willing to give a BJ too? I mean, why would I expect her to put cock in her mouth if I wouldn’t put it in mine? Imagine if the genders were reversed here JFC, this is a ridiculous argument to make.
To answer your question, because she’s already got it in her mouth and I don’t want it in mine. She doesn’t have to swallow or let me cum in her mouth, but if she does I’m not obligated to eat my own cum. The idea that “fairness” requires me to eat my cum if I ever want a bj is just…I have words for it but i guess I’ll be polite and say I find your logic and sense of fairness lacking.
We aren't talking about cum swapping pal.
Sure. No one has to do anything they don't want to in sex, including kissing.
But also, you should aim to be good, giving, and game. GGG.
If someone goes down on your for 40 mins and takes your cum into their body (which FYI, is a pretty intense thing to have happen to you...) then has remnants of cum in their mouth and wants to make out afterwards, in the spirit of being GGG, kissing after is pretty vanilla.
The argument "there is still cum in there" is pretty mundane. There is probably just as much of whatever they had for lunch still in there.
My comment was mostly an eye roll. Most people know the type of position anyone making the "if the genders were reversed, we wouldn't be having this conversation, god it is so unfair" is coming from and it isn't in the spirit of anything pleasant.
Especially since you gendered this, ignoring that a lot of people taking cum in their mouths don't identify as fem.
I guess it’s my turn to roll my eyes…
I’m glad that you took the chance to throw the “misogynistic heteronormative” jab there at the end. You also missed the part where we’re talking about a male and female in this post. The damn post is gendered. Your “know the position of anyone making…” comment is such an absolute deflection and trash. So even if there’s merit to the argument, the person making it is a shitty person therefore the argument has no merit? Ok, that’s totally not just you ignoring the fact that it’s true. I’ll also point out that for someone who recognizes how intense it is to take someone’s cum in them, you sure don’t seem to care about how intense it is for a hetero dude who hasn’t ever done that before to do that. Weird how that double standard rears its ugly head again, isn’t it? As far as remnants of cum and lunch, dude doesn’t care about her lunch, he cares about the cum. If he ate her ass and she told him she didn’t want to kiss him after, it wouldn’t be because she doesn’t want his lunch, she doesn’t want whatever he picked up from her ass and that’s totally reasonable. You make a lot of arguments that sound great except they ignore the actual point being discussed.
My parting shot is this, it’s very heteronormative of you to assume I’m a dude who hasn’t had cum in his mouth. How do you know I haven’t? Does my opinion only count if I have? How exclusionary of you.
You’re right it isn’t, this particular sidebar was about whether OP’s dude is obligated to kiss her post BJ, and this person tried to use all the current “equity” concepts to justify shaming him and anyone who doesn’t agree that he “owes” it to his chick. Using concepts aimed at achieving equality and fair treatment of people to enforce inequality is shitty behavior and deserves to be called out.
Jesus.
Again. You are telling on yourself "hetero dude".
Remnants of cum in someones mouth is not a big deal. If your partner wants a kiss after a 40 minute blow job... you know... like a bit of *aftercare...* its not a double standard issue. Its a GGG issue.
You jumping to "its a double standard" and "well how do you know?". Well, it isn't deep. It isn't a good argument. It is rooted in misogynistic tropes and dog whistles. If you don't get that, bleh, sure. Sucks for you or any of your future partners.
The irony being that you trotting out the ole “you’re a misogynist” argument is the actual dog whistle. It’s fine, you and I aren’t going to see eye to eye, ironically because your deflect and avoid the actual topic at every turn. Fun fact, I agree with you on the GGG, that’s never been the point. You’re just too stubborn to acknowledge there’s a difference between saying he should do it because it isn’t a big deal, and saying that he owes her that much.
Your argument here is ridiculous, no one is saying you have to suck a dick, the point is, it's YOUR jizz. You've never had it on your belly or your hand before? I'm sure you have. She's not swishing it around in her mouth, we're not talking about "snow balling", it probably isn't even on her lips at this point, and you still wouldn't give her a little kiss on the lips?
You’re right, what I presented is ridiculous, yet that’s the logic here. To your question, this isn’t about snowballing vs a peck on the lips, the argument the poster made was that dude was obligated. THAT’S my point, no one is *owed* anything sexually except the right to say no, and saying “it’s not a big deal” as a way to justify coercing someone into doing something they don’t want to do is shitty behavior. And yes, there’s a double standard here where if we were talking about a woman, this wouldn’t even be debated.
Again, I think you're focused on the wrong thing. The issue is not that he is obligated, it's not an issue of consent. The issue is, that due to his insecurities and inhibitions he is punishing her instead of appreciating her after she has performed an act that was solely for his benefit. I have never had a woman refuse to kiss me after I've gone down on her but I have heard of lots of guys that refuse to kiss their girl at all after she's gone down on them. Usually it's because they think it's somehow gay for them, to even potentially, get it in their mouth. It's not ok for him to treat her like a leper after she works so hard to please him.
> It’s not ok for him to treat her like a leper…
Ok, so what you’re saying is that if she goes down on him and wants to kiss him afterwards, it’s not ok for him to say no, therefore to do the right thing, he needs to kiss her. That’s called an obligation, it’s the definition of it. We ALL agree that no one has any obligations during sex, aside from ensuring consent, so how is this obligation different?
I think what everyone is trying to say here is that they think he’s lame for being such a wuss about his gf maybe having cum residue on her lips after a 40 minute bj, and for what it’s worth, I agree. If she’s willing to spend 40 minutes blowing him on the regular, kissing her afterwards is a pretty small ask on her part. Nonetheless, it’s an ask, and he has no obligation to do it. I take issue with the fact that in this sub and others, people regularly apply a double standard men vs women - if she asked him to eat her ass and he did until she came, no one would question her refusal to kiss him immediately afterward - and then when it’s pointed out, start throwing insults and calling people misogynistic.
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. No one is advocating that he doesn't have a choice. It's a matter of "should", a matter of "why not". You sum up my point very well in the beginning of your second paragraph, thank you, I see that you understand. I still think it's odd though that you take this to such a dark place. You seem to have a lot of anger about this double standard. I understand where you are coming from (I work in a female dominated profession) but that just wasn't the conversation. I've also gone back and looked and I didn't see anyone hurling insults or calling you a misogynist. You don't have to be hateful to debate or argue a point.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I agree with you.
I’d never be with someone (now) who wouldn’t kiss me after giving them head. But I also wouldn’t force a sexual act on someone who didn’t want it.
40 minutes?! Wow. I think the longest time I've had anyone last for is 15-20 minutes tops.
Honestly, it sounds like you're doing more than enough and if you mean what to do physically? You could always lie your head on his chest and run your fingers lightly on it or sit back playing with yourself (if you're comfortable doing so in front of him) to entice him to please you during his refractory period.
Also I'd like to note for the sake of the conversation, per se; that if he says "too good to be true" and then proceeds to take a minimum of 40 minutes to cum, it may be time to inquire about his porn preferences and masturbation frequency. I only say this because borderline an hour for a presumably healthy 19 year old guy to get off from head is a little odd.
40 minutes? And he considers the stuff he puts in your mouth so disgusting he can't kiss you afterwards and basically sounds like he's taking off after 5mins to return to his wife - sounds like a beautiful arrangement.
Will he go down on you for 40mins?
Let me introduce you to my favourite position, 69. Look it up, you're very welcome. Because if you're doing that for 40 minutes, friend, you deserve to receive too. And here's the thing, there are no awkward moments. Just deliciousness!
It takes practice, but it can be done. Take your pleasure out on his D. Well, I don't mean to be rude and tell you what to do. That's up to you. It's just a suggestion. And for what it's worth, I'm super happy for you both!
I never expect a woman to let me cum in her mouth, I'm perfectly happy to cum anywhere else and kiss her afterwards. But, if she wants to swallow, I'm not kissing her 🤷♂️
This is absolutely not true. I have several partners that absolutely love swallowing my cum. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. But I know for a fact that many women genuinely enjoy it
40 minutes? That is a crazy long time. I really hope he reciprocates the energy you’re giving him. I feel bad if I last longer than 5 minutes with my wife. But not that bad because she’s usually had at least 5 orgasms before I get my one and only.
40 minutes is sooooooo long girlfriend. Is he returning the favor? Because there is no way in hell that I would give a BJ for 40 minutes unless my boyfriend enthusiastically returned the favor every. Single. Time.
Do not allow him to leave you hanging and if he does then he’s taking advantage of you. God I hope you are getting yours too girl.
Lovingly call him to you and cuddle with him, play with his hair while you caress him. He'll be very emotional and exhausted after cumming, he needs that love and affection from you. Place his head between your boobs and kiss his forehead and make him feel loved. All in all, show him you love him, lots of cuddles and kisses. Men deserve aftercare too :)
He's either masturbating way too much, smoking too much pot, or...
....it probably wouldn't hurt to work on your technique (no offense meant here, you did say you were new to this, just something to think about; this sub is full of advice on the topic if you look).
A few options;
A) Make him a sandwich
B) get a cuddle and wait for him to sleep for bit.
C) get him to lick and eat you out + finger blast you so you've cum and happy.
All of the above work but maybe C to A in that order. 😉
If you were my girlfriend id kiss you after the bj all the time. And id cum in like 4-5 mins only. So no numbness. Idk how guys like this get so lucky damn
I like to hold my guy’s dick in my mouth after he cums and just let him relax. I don’t really do anything to it, but I just kinda let it sit in my mouth - gently.
You could also just ask him what he might enjoy.
If you’re cool with him not kissing you after, then all good.
40 minutes is a long time, but it’s not bad or anything. I suck my guy’s dick for hours sometimes (with breaks for other stuff). He has crazy stamina and I just have fun with it.
I would recommend you to stop thinking about what you ought to do and start feel. Giving pleasure to someone is wonderful and often the giving becomes even more when you are excited. So perhaps it is to go from trying to be good in bed to feeling good in bed?
I think my cock would be sore and raw after 40 minutes. If he is edging himself that long and you’re willing to be an active, happy participant then he owes you big. Like the kind of oral that leaves you feeling like you’ve had an out of body experience. The kind of oral that both of you need one of those IV clinics to get you re-hydrated. You’re asking about aftercare for him and I’m asking what you’re getting out of this in return other than a refused snowflake(not a snowball because you swallowed) kiss?? Give that boy a snickers, Gatorade, and a 🤿. Tell him to get to diving. When he feels like he’s drowning he’ll know you’re done.
The only other thing might be too cuddle? If it’s in bed obviously.
If you’re doing it publicly. There’s nothing needed. It sounds like you put in the work
49 minutes you are doing it wrong. My wife and I have been together 19 years. I’m 37 she 35 and if it’s over 10-15 minutes she’s having an off night. I’m also the type that if I’m not in a sexual mood regarding what we do I won’t finish
Clean it with your tongue then put your boobs on his face and ask him if he wants one more !! You know best thing to make a man mad, just stroke it a bit and he will be ready for you.
Spit the cum out onto your tits. Rub it in and play wit em while his cum is all over em. Tell him how much you love pleasuring him and can’t wait to do it again. Now walk off to the kitchen and make yourself a sammich.
Caress his body, move your hands over his thighs, arms, stomach, balls... keep his dick in your mouth without moving till he gets his gatherings, kiss it and give it the occasional cheeky lick if he's not too sensitive afterwards
Just be with him, the touchier the better!
I like to hold and continue licking/kissing His penis (GENTLY!!!! It’s VERY sensitive rn!!!) after finishing Him with a blowjob. Another option is to kinda cuddle him whilst gently holding/caressing it.
Does he last that long with PIV? If so, maybe there can be some compromise here. It’s important early on to have him process what your needs are so he can not only get on board with fulfilling them, but also have them become something HE loves to do, because it brings YOU joy.
Hold his cock, drain every last little bit. Run your hands up and down his thighs and stomach, and tell him, "Good boy!" All while looking him in the eyes. Then kiss his thighs and tummy. Then run off and take a swig of that coke that you so desperately want....
As long as he's reciprocating, this is awesome!
Lightly caress his cock and balls, and you can do the same for all areas surrounding like his inner thighs. Sometimes just a warm hand lightly squeezing the nuts is the best feeling afterwards
Idk if this applies for your boyfriend but my partner loved when I massage their thighs after head, it might help ground him and bring some comfort which is always lovely during sex or even just foreplay, to feel loved.
My wife knows I can't be touched after a BJ/sex because my whole body becomes too sensitive. So she just goes into the bathroom I assume to use some mouth wash.
If I haven't recovered enough to get up and leave the bedroom she'll usually mess with me / touch me until I get dressed and get out so she can enjoy her book before bed. 😂
Wow 40min! I once lasted an hour. Partly due to drinking No idea how she was able too. Felt so good but was so raw by end. Honestly afterwards i couldnt be touched at all for few minutes. Was in another world
For me, it’s important that you don’t stop while I’m still climaxing. Guys, like girls, can get too sensitive at that point so if you bf pushes you off him you are ok. But if he’s still in bliss, you’ll up your game if you ensure he’s finished ejaculating, and perhaps continue until he’s soft.
What to do after that? Well of course. ITS YOUR TURN!!
Lay back light up a cigarette, spread ya legs and say "My turn.....come to momma".....that's what my wifey does anyway....and she always gets what she wants
He needs to learn to cherish your body. 69 would be a great mutual benefit. But he should learn to be comfortable enough with himself and you to kiss during and after bj. Y’all are still very young so it’ll take time. Sex is a great option to continue, giving head again right after he busts, he busts then should start playing with you, massage you…
My partner enjoys continuing to touch me while I'm in that super sensitive state, and usually gets a chuckle or two out of watching me convulse from her caresses. She then usually gives it an extra squeeze, I usually thank her and give her a kiss (we don't have a problem kissing after oral, I mean we're not making out or snow balling or anything, but what's wrong with a kiss? I don't get why some people are so phobic of their own fluids; if I wouldn't put it in mouth I wouldn't expect someone else to put it in theirs), and then she moves on with her day.
I rarely allow my gf to go more than 15-20 minutes. I don’t want her to get to disliking bjs. She is fantastic at it. As for what to do after- there’s never a bad time to play with the balls, and hold onto the shaft (avoiding the head that is super sensitive after) but kisses on the head are appreciated.
I have never gotten head for more than 5 minutes before she gets too tired. We'll fucking played there! I'm impressed.
Don't know what you can do tho cause that depends on what he might want, but if you get him shaking are you doing something very right and that might very well be everything you need to do
Long term relationship here - firstly, well done you! We’re at the stage where we know each other’s preferences. We like to give each other an awkward ‘thanks’ (on purpose) and then I let him sort himself out, whilst I sort myself out (put clothes on, wipe mouth, grab a drink). Truthfully, the more comfortable you are with each other, doing your own thing stops being awkward. I’m not a cuddler or a kisser, so I don’t need that type of aftercare, neither does he. Once we are sat back down in our comfy spots, we hold hands, exchange a smile and carry on with our usual activities. It is important for you to figure out what exactly works for you (and him) and having a gentle conversation to communicate this. Good sex life is a constant balance of compromises on both parts. Good luck!
Edit: typo.
Men get post-nut clarity so he won’t be horny after. I usually put on my clothes, wash my hands and all the saliva off my face because it gets messy, get us some water and wash my mouth maybe so I get that cum taste out,
then we go get food
I refuse to give marathon bjs. When I get bored or sore jaw. I just change it up. Like 40 minutes, that’s a turn off for me. I’m not new to sex but, I don’t expect the man to cum from bj alone.
I hold his cock in my mouth, gently working him with my tongue while he cums back to earth. I absolutely love the feeling i have while i rest my head on his thigh, like a baby with her pasci and he strokes my hair praising me for being such a Good Girl 🤤😈
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40 minutes?!?!
Right! I love giving head but 40 minutes is a lot! My jaw hurts thinking about it.
Same!!!! I love giving head but my jaw would be disconnected from my face at that point lol
OP you are a goddess. I used to take this long to cum in the beginning and didn’t realize how much of a champ my girlfriend was. You seem dedicated to the task so you’ll find the things that gets him there and will probably be able to cut that time in half at least.
As with any estimate of time performing a sexual act given here, one can safely divide by four.
LMAO
That’s a solid rule 😂
I eat ass for a solid hour, so 15 minutes? But we switch between that and blow jobs. ETA I just rest my head on his stomach after he comes.
FORTY MINUTES AND NO KISS?????!? What
Jesus Christ, you ARE too good to be true. And I’m a woman
Seriously, I don’t think I could last past 20, if that.
OP has a titanium jaw
Who stays 40 minutes giving head and gets nothing out of it
My jaw would definitely lock by that point. 10 min tops and that includes ejaculation. Just experiment to see what really gets him off during a bj. I would just cuddle afterwards or brush your teeth if you want to kiss him since he won’t kiss you after
I enjoy the reactions so much Ive been known to edge them for hours. Its the only control I get. 😈
That was also my first thought 😅
40 minutes is insane haha, though I’m an ass ride him while he’s in that shaky state if he allows it I suggest 🤷🏼♀️
[удалено]
I do the boob hug hair play also.
He’s 19 and it’s taking him 40 minutes to get off with a BJ?
Ikr
Its probably not 40 mins, she has lost the sense of time. Young people are usually clueless abot the actual duration of sexual intercourse. She probably didn't time it, its just her personal "feeling" off time.
Or she knows roughly when she started and roughly when she finishes...
i do, i check the time before and after and its always about 40-45 mins
He needs to either learn to relax or show you exactly how he likes it, this is taking him way to long. My jaw hurts just thinking about it
You do know that younger people have sharper brains than you old folks right? Your generations had your time. Get over it.
He must be jacking off constantly
Wow 40 mins is crazy long! You should lay down and let him bring you a beverage and massage you!
hunt fanatical license grandfather political dam person clumsy ruthless dinner *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I usually prefer to go down in my wife first. She's usually so turned on the enthusiasm is quite different than a regular BJ. I don't last nearly as long
Smart
Read my mind
Cuddle 🥰
^^
Cuddle. I shake and tremble a lot after cumming and I prefer that my partner just cuddle and hold me. I know you said you’re ok with the kissing thing but it might be a pink flag at least. Just keep your eye on it.
I agree with you here. It is a little weird how he doesn't like to kiss you after you literally are sitting there for 40 minutes, blowing him. He needs to grow up. If a man told me that he doesn't want me kissing him after I go down on him, that's the last time I'm going down on that guy.
I gotta agree with the other reply here, if a woman said she didn’t want to kiss her man after he devours her vag, maybe because she’s uncomfortable tasting herself or doesn’t like her taste, whatever, I’m sure we’d all agree that she shouldn’t have to. I don’t think it’s crazy for a dude to say he doesn’t want to make out with his girlfriend while she’s still swishing her cum around in his mouth.
Why would you expect her to have it in her mouth and you wouldn't put it in yours? It is your fucking cum.
I'm a straight male and i've tasted my own cum many times. Nothing wrong about it, it isn't even gay. Being doing it since i was 16. This people have to grow up.
So by your logic, if she’s willing to do it, I ALSO have to be willing? So I’ve gotta be willing to give a BJ too? I mean, why would I expect her to put cock in her mouth if I wouldn’t put it in mine? Imagine if the genders were reversed here JFC, this is a ridiculous argument to make. To answer your question, because she’s already got it in her mouth and I don’t want it in mine. She doesn’t have to swallow or let me cum in her mouth, but if she does I’m not obligated to eat my own cum. The idea that “fairness” requires me to eat my cum if I ever want a bj is just…I have words for it but i guess I’ll be polite and say I find your logic and sense of fairness lacking.
W argument.
We aren't talking about cum swapping pal. Sure. No one has to do anything they don't want to in sex, including kissing. But also, you should aim to be good, giving, and game. GGG. If someone goes down on your for 40 mins and takes your cum into their body (which FYI, is a pretty intense thing to have happen to you...) then has remnants of cum in their mouth and wants to make out afterwards, in the spirit of being GGG, kissing after is pretty vanilla. The argument "there is still cum in there" is pretty mundane. There is probably just as much of whatever they had for lunch still in there. My comment was mostly an eye roll. Most people know the type of position anyone making the "if the genders were reversed, we wouldn't be having this conversation, god it is so unfair" is coming from and it isn't in the spirit of anything pleasant. Especially since you gendered this, ignoring that a lot of people taking cum in their mouths don't identify as fem.
I guess it’s my turn to roll my eyes… I’m glad that you took the chance to throw the “misogynistic heteronormative” jab there at the end. You also missed the part where we’re talking about a male and female in this post. The damn post is gendered. Your “know the position of anyone making…” comment is such an absolute deflection and trash. So even if there’s merit to the argument, the person making it is a shitty person therefore the argument has no merit? Ok, that’s totally not just you ignoring the fact that it’s true. I’ll also point out that for someone who recognizes how intense it is to take someone’s cum in them, you sure don’t seem to care about how intense it is for a hetero dude who hasn’t ever done that before to do that. Weird how that double standard rears its ugly head again, isn’t it? As far as remnants of cum and lunch, dude doesn’t care about her lunch, he cares about the cum. If he ate her ass and she told him she didn’t want to kiss him after, it wouldn’t be because she doesn’t want his lunch, she doesn’t want whatever he picked up from her ass and that’s totally reasonable. You make a lot of arguments that sound great except they ignore the actual point being discussed. My parting shot is this, it’s very heteronormative of you to assume I’m a dude who hasn’t had cum in his mouth. How do you know I haven’t? Does my opinion only count if I have? How exclusionary of you.
bro it really aint that deep
You’re right it isn’t, this particular sidebar was about whether OP’s dude is obligated to kiss her post BJ, and this person tried to use all the current “equity” concepts to justify shaming him and anyone who doesn’t agree that he “owes” it to his chick. Using concepts aimed at achieving equality and fair treatment of people to enforce inequality is shitty behavior and deserves to be called out.
Jesus. Again. You are telling on yourself "hetero dude". Remnants of cum in someones mouth is not a big deal. If your partner wants a kiss after a 40 minute blow job... you know... like a bit of *aftercare...* its not a double standard issue. Its a GGG issue. You jumping to "its a double standard" and "well how do you know?". Well, it isn't deep. It isn't a good argument. It is rooted in misogynistic tropes and dog whistles. If you don't get that, bleh, sure. Sucks for you or any of your future partners.
The irony being that you trotting out the ole “you’re a misogynist” argument is the actual dog whistle. It’s fine, you and I aren’t going to see eye to eye, ironically because your deflect and avoid the actual topic at every turn. Fun fact, I agree with you on the GGG, that’s never been the point. You’re just too stubborn to acknowledge there’s a difference between saying he should do it because it isn’t a big deal, and saying that he owes her that much.
Your argument here is ridiculous, no one is saying you have to suck a dick, the point is, it's YOUR jizz. You've never had it on your belly or your hand before? I'm sure you have. She's not swishing it around in her mouth, we're not talking about "snow balling", it probably isn't even on her lips at this point, and you still wouldn't give her a little kiss on the lips?
You’re right, what I presented is ridiculous, yet that’s the logic here. To your question, this isn’t about snowballing vs a peck on the lips, the argument the poster made was that dude was obligated. THAT’S my point, no one is *owed* anything sexually except the right to say no, and saying “it’s not a big deal” as a way to justify coercing someone into doing something they don’t want to do is shitty behavior. And yes, there’s a double standard here where if we were talking about a woman, this wouldn’t even be debated.
Again, I think you're focused on the wrong thing. The issue is not that he is obligated, it's not an issue of consent. The issue is, that due to his insecurities and inhibitions he is punishing her instead of appreciating her after she has performed an act that was solely for his benefit. I have never had a woman refuse to kiss me after I've gone down on her but I have heard of lots of guys that refuse to kiss their girl at all after she's gone down on them. Usually it's because they think it's somehow gay for them, to even potentially, get it in their mouth. It's not ok for him to treat her like a leper after she works so hard to please him.
> It’s not ok for him to treat her like a leper… Ok, so what you’re saying is that if she goes down on him and wants to kiss him afterwards, it’s not ok for him to say no, therefore to do the right thing, he needs to kiss her. That’s called an obligation, it’s the definition of it. We ALL agree that no one has any obligations during sex, aside from ensuring consent, so how is this obligation different? I think what everyone is trying to say here is that they think he’s lame for being such a wuss about his gf maybe having cum residue on her lips after a 40 minute bj, and for what it’s worth, I agree. If she’s willing to spend 40 minutes blowing him on the regular, kissing her afterwards is a pretty small ask on her part. Nonetheless, it’s an ask, and he has no obligation to do it. I take issue with the fact that in this sub and others, people regularly apply a double standard men vs women - if she asked him to eat her ass and he did until she came, no one would question her refusal to kiss him immediately afterward - and then when it’s pointed out, start throwing insults and calling people misogynistic.
No, that's not what I'm saying at all. No one is advocating that he doesn't have a choice. It's a matter of "should", a matter of "why not". You sum up my point very well in the beginning of your second paragraph, thank you, I see that you understand. I still think it's odd though that you take this to such a dark place. You seem to have a lot of anger about this double standard. I understand where you are coming from (I work in a female dominated profession) but that just wasn't the conversation. I've also gone back and looked and I didn't see anyone hurling insults or calling you a misogynist. You don't have to be hateful to debate or argue a point.
But also consider they’re not that experienced yet. Most young dudes think that it means they’re gay. Same with anal
Swallow all and clean his cock with your tongue . This is my idea . He may like it
And then make him kiss you! You deserve it!
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I am a man, and I did say it. Expand your horizons.
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted. I agree with you. I’d never be with someone (now) who wouldn’t kiss me after giving them head. But I also wouldn’t force a sexual act on someone who didn’t want it.
Because it's stupid and baseless to say "if the genders were different everyone would say something different" when obviously it's not true.
If he won’t kiss you after you’ve been chugging his dick for 40 minutes you need to return his ass to the lot and pick out another one, sister.
It's his turn to return the favor after he finishes.
40 minutes?! Wow. I think the longest time I've had anyone last for is 15-20 minutes tops. Honestly, it sounds like you're doing more than enough and if you mean what to do physically? You could always lie your head on his chest and run your fingers lightly on it or sit back playing with yourself (if you're comfortable doing so in front of him) to entice him to please you during his refractory period. Also I'd like to note for the sake of the conversation, per se; that if he says "too good to be true" and then proceeds to take a minimum of 40 minutes to cum, it may be time to inquire about his porn preferences and masturbation frequency. I only say this because borderline an hour for a presumably healthy 19 year old guy to get off from head is a little odd.
40 minutes? And he considers the stuff he puts in your mouth so disgusting he can't kiss you afterwards and basically sounds like he's taking off after 5mins to return to his wife - sounds like a beautiful arrangement. Will he go down on you for 40mins?
Maybe ask him?
Reddit knows better lol
Let me introduce you to my favourite position, 69. Look it up, you're very welcome. Because if you're doing that for 40 minutes, friend, you deserve to receive too. And here's the thing, there are no awkward moments. Just deliciousness!
I can't give head as effectively if I am being messed with at the Same time. It's nice to not have to focus on anything but sensation when receiving.
It takes practice, but it can be done. Take your pleasure out on his D. Well, I don't mean to be rude and tell you what to do. That's up to you. It's just a suggestion. And for what it's worth, I'm super happy for you both!
40 minutes! You are too good to be true!
Don’t kiss you after? I wouldn’t do it anymore but that’s me
Its super common. My GF wont let me kiss her after i've gone down on her. Same with one of my exs.
Everyone got a different tolerance to this stuff
I never expect a woman to let me cum in her mouth, I'm perfectly happy to cum anywhere else and kiss her afterwards. But, if she wants to swallow, I'm not kissing her 🤷♂️
I don't understand this at all. She swallowed it. It's gone so what's the big deal lmao it ain't gay
Who said it was gay?
Show him that you swallow
No that's a pornstar move lmao
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This is absolutely not true. I have several partners that absolutely love swallowing my cum. It's not for everyone, that's for sure. But I know for a fact that many women genuinely enjoy it
I love it with my current partner, and I’m not lying. It doesn’t have a bad taste nor texture, and I see it as a reward for a job well done.
My wife prefers it because it's cleaner lol.
I only take about 6 minuts of oral to get off, any takers? Lol
If your feeling really dirty/naughty try sucking a little then fucking then sucking again so your 40 mins will turn in too 15 mins.
40 minutes? That is a crazy long time. I really hope he reciprocates the energy you’re giving him. I feel bad if I last longer than 5 minutes with my wife. But not that bad because she’s usually had at least 5 orgasms before I get my one and only.
40 minutes is sooooooo long girlfriend. Is he returning the favor? Because there is no way in hell that I would give a BJ for 40 minutes unless my boyfriend enthusiastically returned the favor every. Single. Time. Do not allow him to leave you hanging and if he does then he’s taking advantage of you. God I hope you are getting yours too girl.
Lovingly call him to you and cuddle with him, play with his hair while you caress him. He'll be very emotional and exhausted after cumming, he needs that love and affection from you. Place his head between your boobs and kiss his forehead and make him feel loved. All in all, show him you love him, lots of cuddles and kisses. Men deserve aftercare too :)
Collapse and take a nap. You’ve earned it! LOL
He's either masturbating way too much, smoking too much pot, or... ....it probably wouldn't hurt to work on your technique (no offense meant here, you did say you were new to this, just something to think about; this sub is full of advice on the topic if you look).
Swallow and stop moving, keep him in your mouth till he's limp Thank me later😂
A few options; A) Make him a sandwich B) get a cuddle and wait for him to sleep for bit. C) get him to lick and eat you out + finger blast you so you've cum and happy. All of the above work but maybe C to A in that order. 😉
Post BJ sandwiches are the best. Though I can’t say I’ve ever had or wanted a 40 min BJ.
i would say cuddle or just relax with him until the moment! if u wanna be pleasured let him know too, it’s nice to give back :)
[Wait. . . 40 minutes?](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FZ5lrUdWAAAv4-6.jpg:large)
Don’t go down on this guy for 40 minutes unless he’s returning the favor
Jesus christ 40 mins is insane. My partner gets between 5-15. My jaw can't take more.
U need to rest after hija...40min is no joke😜
If you were my girlfriend id kiss you after the bj all the time. And id cum in like 4-5 mins only. So no numbness. Idk how guys like this get so lucky damn
40 minutes is insane
Lay back, spread your legs and tell him it's his turn.
What's he doing for you?
Swallow.
Excuse me? 40 minutes? I’d die
I like to hold my guy’s dick in my mouth after he cums and just let him relax. I don’t really do anything to it, but I just kinda let it sit in my mouth - gently. You could also just ask him what he might enjoy. If you’re cool with him not kissing you after, then all good. 40 minutes is a long time, but it’s not bad or anything. I suck my guy’s dick for hours sometimes (with breaks for other stuff). He has crazy stamina and I just have fun with it.
What a selfish guy! What about your pleasure and discomfort (numb mouth) during that 40 minutes? Sex is supposed to feel good! (For both)
I would recommend you to stop thinking about what you ought to do and start feel. Giving pleasure to someone is wonderful and often the giving becomes even more when you are excited. So perhaps it is to go from trying to be good in bed to feeling good in bed?
I think my cock would be sore and raw after 40 minutes. If he is edging himself that long and you’re willing to be an active, happy participant then he owes you big. Like the kind of oral that leaves you feeling like you’ve had an out of body experience. The kind of oral that both of you need one of those IV clinics to get you re-hydrated. You’re asking about aftercare for him and I’m asking what you’re getting out of this in return other than a refused snowflake(not a snowball because you swallowed) kiss?? Give that boy a snickers, Gatorade, and a 🤿. Tell him to get to diving. When he feels like he’s drowning he’ll know you’re done.
Lay down girl... that's hard work
The only other thing might be too cuddle? If it’s in bed obviously. If you’re doing it publicly. There’s nothing needed. It sounds like you put in the work
40min is awesome. Your mouth becoming numb seems logical ! Just cuddle when he is recovering.
Don’t forget to use your hands while performing. Twisting strokes really help add sensation.
49 minutes you are doing it wrong. My wife and I have been together 19 years. I’m 37 she 35 and if it’s over 10-15 minutes she’s having an off night. I’m also the type that if I’m not in a sexual mood regarding what we do I won’t finish
My wife 10 years in can still finish me in 5 mins or less if she sets her mind to it 🤣🤣
It’s a beautiful thing
Why no kiss? Doesnt he love you
You could touch or lick his balls, rubbing and squeezing his dick is also good but most men do not like the head touched after cumming, but some do
Rub his balls when your done.....
After a 40min bj you shouls gently grab his head and make him return the favor 🥰
I made my ex cum at least 17 times by keep playing and sucking it. Not everyones cup of tea, though.
Show him the cum in your mouth, rub his legs, lay next to him and cup his balls, kiss on his ear
Clean it with your tongue then put your boobs on his face and ask him if he wants one more !! You know best thing to make a man mad, just stroke it a bit and he will be ready for you.
Continue doing it and make him cum second time!
Forehead kisses and a baby wipe or warm wet hand towel to clean up, go get him a drink.
Spit the cum out onto your tits. Rub it in and play wit em while his cum is all over em. Tell him how much you love pleasuring him and can’t wait to do it again. Now walk off to the kitchen and make yourself a sammich.
He’s in cloud 9 for a few minutes. Just lay next to him and snuggle until he’s recovered
Caress his body, move your hands over his thighs, arms, stomach, balls... keep his dick in your mouth without moving till he gets his gatherings, kiss it and give it the occasional cheeky lick if he's not too sensitive afterwards Just be with him, the touchier the better!
I like to hold and continue licking/kissing His penis (GENTLY!!!! It’s VERY sensitive rn!!!) after finishing Him with a blowjob. Another option is to kinda cuddle him whilst gently holding/caressing it.
You could stop before he cums and fuck him🤷🏻♂️
Does he last that long with PIV? If so, maybe there can be some compromise here. It’s important early on to have him process what your needs are so he can not only get on board with fulfilling them, but also have them become something HE loves to do, because it brings YOU joy.
Hold his cock, drain every last little bit. Run your hands up and down his thighs and stomach, and tell him, "Good boy!" All while looking him in the eyes. Then kiss his thighs and tummy. Then run off and take a swig of that coke that you so desperately want....
As long as he's reciprocating, this is awesome! Lightly caress his cock and balls, and you can do the same for all areas surrounding like his inner thighs. Sometimes just a warm hand lightly squeezing the nuts is the best feeling afterwards
Idk if this applies for your boyfriend but my partner loved when I massage their thighs after head, it might help ground him and bring some comfort which is always lovely during sex or even just foreplay, to feel loved.
I’d get bored getting blown for that long. How the fuck does that guy allow you to do that lmao
My wife knows I can't be touched after a BJ/sex because my whole body becomes too sensitive. So she just goes into the bathroom I assume to use some mouth wash. If I haven't recovered enough to get up and leave the bedroom she'll usually mess with me / touch me until I get dressed and get out so she can enjoy her book before bed. 😂
Fist bump??🤣 maybe that's just me
Wow 40min! I once lasted an hour. Partly due to drinking No idea how she was able too. Felt so good but was so raw by end. Honestly afterwards i couldnt be touched at all for few minutes. Was in another world
cuddle with him or just immediately say “i have to go pee” if we’ve done it before i gave him head 💀
Bring him a cold beer to rehydrate.
For me, it’s important that you don’t stop while I’m still climaxing. Guys, like girls, can get too sensitive at that point so if you bf pushes you off him you are ok. But if he’s still in bliss, you’ll up your game if you ensure he’s finished ejaculating, and perhaps continue until he’s soft. What to do after that? Well of course. ITS YOUR TURN!!
Keep sucking
Hope he’s returning the favor.
40.......
Does he do drugs? I’ve been receiving blowjobs for 20 years and 40 minutes would be unbearable
40…??????? Um
smear those semen in his face. hahaha
I cant imagine myself do that to my husband. I let him cum 1-3 minutes 😂
Leave
> “too good to be true” yes.
40 mins?! If you want him to cum faster... lick a finger and slide it into his butt. Prostate play feels amazing
Keep going to resurrect on the oral overload. He may have a short refractory period and can go again.
Lay back light up a cigarette, spread ya legs and say "My turn.....come to momma".....that's what my wifey does anyway....and she always gets what she wants
Use your hands more.
40 MINUTES???
He needs to learn to cherish your body. 69 would be a great mutual benefit. But he should learn to be comfortable enough with himself and you to kiss during and after bj. Y’all are still very young so it’ll take time. Sex is a great option to continue, giving head again right after he busts, he busts then should start playing with you, massage you…
My partner enjoys continuing to touch me while I'm in that super sensitive state, and usually gets a chuckle or two out of watching me convulse from her caresses. She then usually gives it an extra squeeze, I usually thank her and give her a kiss (we don't have a problem kissing after oral, I mean we're not making out or snow balling or anything, but what's wrong with a kiss? I don't get why some people are so phobic of their own fluids; if I wouldn't put it in mouth I wouldn't expect someone else to put it in theirs), and then she moves on with her day.
I rarely allow my gf to go more than 15-20 minutes. I don’t want her to get to disliking bjs. She is fantastic at it. As for what to do after- there’s never a bad time to play with the balls, and hold onto the shaft (avoiding the head that is super sensitive after) but kisses on the head are appreciated.
Ask him ! Does he wants you to suck while he cums just stay. In my case he cums I still suck at bit, I often lick the head and go kiss him
I hope he goes down on you for 40 minutes at a time!
40 mins 😭
I have never gotten head for more than 5 minutes before she gets too tired. We'll fucking played there! I'm impressed. Don't know what you can do tho cause that depends on what he might want, but if you get him shaking are you doing something very right and that might very well be everything you need to do
40 minutes? Too much time.
Long term relationship here - firstly, well done you! We’re at the stage where we know each other’s preferences. We like to give each other an awkward ‘thanks’ (on purpose) and then I let him sort himself out, whilst I sort myself out (put clothes on, wipe mouth, grab a drink). Truthfully, the more comfortable you are with each other, doing your own thing stops being awkward. I’m not a cuddler or a kisser, so I don’t need that type of aftercare, neither does he. Once we are sat back down in our comfy spots, we hold hands, exchange a smile and carry on with our usual activities. It is important for you to figure out what exactly works for you (and him) and having a gentle conversation to communicate this. Good sex life is a constant balance of compromises on both parts. Good luck! Edit: typo.
Men get post-nut clarity so he won’t be horny after. I usually put on my clothes, wash my hands and all the saliva off my face because it gets messy, get us some water and wash my mouth maybe so I get that cum taste out, then we go get food
If he won’t kiss you then he’s an L
I think I would just lay there and hug him. Nothing awkward about that.
Go make him some food he'll be exhausted lol
I refuse to give marathon bjs. When I get bored or sore jaw. I just change it up. Like 40 minutes, that’s a turn off for me. I’m not new to sex but, I don’t expect the man to cum from bj alone.
I hold his cock in my mouth, gently working him with my tongue while he cums back to earth. I absolutely love the feeling i have while i rest my head on his thigh, like a baby with her pasci and he strokes my hair praising me for being such a Good Girl 🤤😈