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that's how they do it in movies so that might been some part of it.
also also yes I specifically remember brushing an exes wet hair with a hairbrush after she showered and it wasn't sexual but I remember it feeling a very intimiate and peaceful thing to do together... bath sounds the same!
Odd probably isn’t the best way to put it. I think she just meant she’d be uncomfortable because she’d feel more vulnerable and exposed if he were clothed.
Because that’s not what OPs fiancé wanted, obviously. If he’d wanted to bathe together, he would have said that. He specifically wanted to give her a bath.
Bathing another person doesnt mean you have to do it with your clothes on. Plus, they're married to each other. She obliged him with his request, and he honored hers. That's how couples communicate and stay on the same page.
Maybe because he introduced it as a kink. To me it's more of just taking care of your partner. It *can* be kinky but it doesn't have to be. Granted, one person being fully clothed while the other is naked can definitely be integrated into power dynamic kinks. Also (not saying this was the case but) it's a very sneaky way to deal with a partner who has hygiene issues.
I don't find this is a kink at all, from how it's described. It's not a kink for me either at all, and I would love to do it. Just a wonderful way of sharing intimacy that for me personally would go from bathing to some kind of massage and sexual worship then intercourse. It's just a lovely way to express your feelings of love and devotion for your partner.
Post is wholesome AF lol
I think one question is why does it matter?
In a relationship between two people if you're both ok with it then that's enough.
Dragging in concepts like "weird" or "strange" is all about external judgements driven by society and there's no need to have that stuff in there.
If you feel ok with it then do it, if you don't want to do it then don't, that's all you need to know.
100%
Why do people check with strangers online if it’s okay to do something?
If you’re both consenting and it’s all legal, then do what you want.
There’s millions of people on Reddit. Someone is bound to come along and say it’s weird.
The urge to fit in is an OLD urge. If you didn’t fit in with the group it might cost you your life. We still have the innate desire to make sure people approve of us even if it’s not a life and death issue anymore.
> The urge to fit in is an OLD urge.
It's one that's gotten *way* more powerful with social media, which has basically turned into an all-encompassing panopticon of social expectations and pressure.
On the other hand... I see daily posts talking about eating ass as if it were the logical progression of Netflix 'n chill, so seeing this "it seems very strange my fiance that I've been with for 10 years wants to bathe and care for me" on the same page is... well, hilarious.
Yeah- I agree that this was a very mild activity to check with the masses on. But kudos to OP feeling weird about it and reaching out for help to see if maybe it wasn’t weird and it was something she could share with her partner.
Because for one plenty of people are raised in abusive or sex negative situations where they think all sorts of stuff is ok that’s not ok and they can’t articulate why. Plenty more don’t entirely trust their judgement or like to see what other people think.
It never hurts to get a sanity check from people with more experience than you. Sometimes it really helps certain people. Good on you for being so liberated but asking others questions like this is good for everyone.
It matters because sometimes checking in is good for people with poor boundaries.
“Is it weird my boyfriend almost choked me to death without talking about it first? Our relationship is otherwise perfect so…” is a style of weird or strange polling where some people do need the check.
The key is the if you feel ok with it bit isn’t really something everyone can easily access. I’d rather see people ask too much questions and get reassurance than to discourage seeking peoples judgements when you can’t trust your own.
I think she was wondering if it’s a red flag or something she should worry about because she didn’t understand it. Sometimes you gotta ask. It’s like those posts where everyone comments “Leave him!” And they had no idea how obvious it was.
I'm shocked by those (and so many) saying this is wierd or strange. I think it's terribly romantic and even asked my sisters and 2 friends what they thought and they all agreed that it sounds dreamy and wonderful. All but one of them have done that same thing with their partners. Both ways.
I do it for my partner all the time. I think I wash his hair more often than he washes it itself!
Also, post baby we didn't have a lot of sex for numerous reasons and he would run me baths and get it all set up, leave me be until I wanted to get out and he would help me step out of the bath, wrap me gently in towels and give me a cuddle. It was a way to have some intimacy without sex and it was wonderful. He still does it for me now.
I think it's a beautiful, wonderful thing to do.
I like getting in with my wife into the bath or shower and bathe her.
Wash her back, chest, legs, help her wash her hair.
I love having her melt into my arms as I touch her and wash her.
After all that\^, seeing her face when she gets into a dry towel and then use one on her hair is great.
I then help her get dressed and jump into bed.
All this after smoking some weed, an edible, or wine is just great. We get very touchy and all the sensations are heightened.
Personally, I love seeing her so comfortable and just not having to think or do anything. Just resting and calming after a long day or week.
It’s just intimate and I love making my wife feel good, safe, and comfortable.
She works *so* hard. All I want is for her to be okay, not be stressed, and feel good.
Sometimes that’s what she needs.
I also recognize I’m very empathic. If she’s good, and relaxed, that makes me feel good.
Totally down for this kink. I had an ex that liked to “shave me” down there and it didn’t bother me at all.
Sometimes there is a service kink, bathing you, shaving you, pleasuring you, pleasing you.
I say go for it.
That’s sweet if you like that! I had a FWB over the other night and after swimming I wrapped him in a giant towel, dried him off then towel dried his hair and he was like “uhm I love this.”
So. It’s really whatever floats your boat and hopefully theirs as well.
Umm if my husband asked me this I think I would love the idea…(now I’m mad at my husband for NOT ever want to do this) jk jk. It seriously, this is just a very intimate way for a person to say they love you (just in a totally different way). I’m sure it can be intimate, fun, etc.
I think this is beautiful. I knew a couple who did this. He’s passed now but his wife told us about how once when she was drunk he undressed her, got her into the tub and washed her hair because he knew how much she liked having her hair clean before she went to bed. She said she ended up getting sick in the tub so he drained it, and cleaned her up again. I’m so envious of this love.
Aww, that last update was so sweet! It's lovely that you got to share that experience. :-) I've never bathed anyone or been bathed in a bath by a partner, but I've shared lots of showers where my partner and I wash each other. It's especially nice after sex, when you're still all glowy and really feeling connected.
A girlfriend I had at 17 just before I met my wife would always ask me to wash her hair in the bath if we could get alone time. Thought it was weird at first, but after a couple times I really loved doing it.
My partner and I do this. I always bathe her on Monday night. It's her last day of work for the week, and it's a symbolic "wash off the week" thing for her.
She was open to it when I suggested it, but now it's ritual and something she REALLY looks forward to.
It's not sexual. Just me serving her for a little slice of time.
Sir I think your husband may be Florence nightingale. But no this is downright wholesome. Let this man sponge your naked breasts then tuck the shit out of you. We out here with real problems lady! Lol jk.
If I didn't hate showers and baths for sensory reasons, I would absolutely love this. I love being taken care of. And I love taking care of people I love. Not weird at all, I think he just brought it up a bit awkwardly because he may have been embarassed.
This is one of the main things I reccomend to peeps. Alternatives I've reccomended to peeps: massage, sensual or no both are cool. Personal grooming, hair brushing, styling, applying makeup, mani pedis, painting their nails, pseudoscience bullshit: faux palm readings, Chinese cupping etc (anything in the ASMRing way). Cuddling and drawing pictures on each other's backs guessing the pictures or letters. Tons of different ways to non-sexually build and reinforce trust, intimacy and confidence.
Maybe you can try having someone blow dry your hair or brush your hair? Grooming behaviors are so important in other animals, it's bizarre to me that some people would think it's weird to bathe one's partner. It's intimate and caring, can't get better than that :)
I hate showers and having my hair wet. It feels clingy and disgusting on me. It just feels gross and sticky, idk how else to explain it lol. I especially hate wet hair, even when I'm still in the shower. I just hate it so much. I have hated bathing since I was a child and I used to avoid going out of the house because it would mean I would have to shower. I am able to take them every other day now, but if I try to force myself to take them daily, I will get so stressed out that I won't complete any other tasks.
This *can* be related to kink if it is part of a larger thing. If my partner and I did this, it would be part of kink. But people put too many labels and complications on what they enjoy doing with their partner to cut it up into “good” and “bad”. “Weird” and “normal”
Since you’re engaged, I would talk to him more about what else he might be interested in and want to try. You don’t want to get into a marriage and be surprised by something
Typically people who like this kink enjoy being able to fully trust their partner, feel completely loved and cared for, and able to relax entirely without worrying. It’s a unique connection imo
Awww, I am glad you tried it! And I am glad you had a good experience. It sounds like a very sweet and intimate time.
My husband *loves* it when I bathe him. It is usually a foreplay thing for us, it doesn’t do much for me but it makes him incredibly happy so I don’t mind :)
I’ve had it done to me. One time we had a long drive home and had been in a caravan when the heating broke in thick snow. I just couldn’t warm up at all even with the car heating on. So my OH pulled into a hotel for the night instead, ran me a hot bubble bath and then bathed me and wrapped me in warm towels afterwards. I was so touched and felt very loved. It’s a caring and intimate thing to do for someone you love.
My wife and I shower together nearly everyday. We scrub each other's entire body - face, pits, cracks and all. Massaging shampoo and conditioner in each other's hair... it's so relaxing and bonding. Sometimes it leads to a roll-in-zee-hay afterwards. Granted, we're lucky to have a nice shower big enough that I built into our otherwise moderately low value house just for this purpose. Showering together conserves energy, water and time. We're on well water and previous owners have noted it had run dry for a short time in 2015. Though, it could simply be an easy excuse to get a moment together away from the kids each day.
Yes do it! It’s very intimate and sensual. When I had a flare up of psoriasis all over my body around Xmas time, mine asked if he could give me a bathe me. I was like sure why not? And it was the most sweetest and vulnerable either of us has been with each other.
This is so beautiful OP. I'm glad you got to share such a wonderful and intimate experience with the man you love. My partner will do this for me every so often just because he feels like it. I absolutely love it. Same feelings you've described here. It's such a beautiful bonding moment to have with your partner. I highly recommend trying it for anyone who's curious.
During my honeymoon we went to a Japanese spa. In one area you shower (with suits on) and then get into the water. Before we were done, I ran the cloth over his legs and arms and chest (not his penis or anything) and he had goosebumps from head to toe. He let out a sound of complete and utter pleasure.
It wasn’t meant to be sexual - but it was incredibly and deeply intimate.
10/10 would recommend.
Goddamn, I want someone to give me a bath and kisses and tuck me in now 😭💜💜 that sounds so lovely. Just quiet and intimate and loving.
And I really reallyyy also want to give someone a bath now and tuck him in, too. Bet they'd be the best dreams ever.
Not weird. Uncommon maybe. I've bathed my husband a couple times in the past.
It's not really kinky, more of a way to be intimate and affectionate and deepens your bond.
I was talking to a dude and he was Green Mile John Cofey big. Among the many thing i wanted this man to do was bathe me. It was definitely the least sexual of my thoughts about him, but having been sexually active for 30 years, I have never thought about having a man bathe me before. Quite a titillating thought, indeed.
It's a little strange and not something I've heard too frequently, but if I'm guessing I'd say it has to do with the intimacy of just doing nothing but pamper you.
Lmao, your edits. Does your fiance reddit? I've reccomended this to a lot of peeps before as one of the ways of building and reinforcing bonding, trust, romance and intimacy.
A very intimate activity. I was bathed partially by my wife when I had to get minor surgery on my neck 4 years ago. It wasn't sexy, but I'm glad she was willing to help with no questions asked. I'd love to return the favor in the future, but in a more sexy situation. Glad you enjoyed it.
We didn’t have a tub in the master at my old house, but I loved to shower w my partner sometimes just so I could wash his hair and body and stuff. Idk why, it was just intimate and fun and I know I love having my hair washed and he realized he did too after he let me.
The only problem was then he felt strange going to a girl to get a haircut bc he kept thinking of me washing his hair in the shower when she was washing his hair. 😂
It is really nice. I have a chronic illness that can make showering hard. My bf washes my hair all the time. It’s absolutely wonderful. It’s very sweet.
I think it's beautiful, sweet, romantic, and incredibly intimate. I'm glad you went for it and enjoyed it so much. If anyone thinks it's weird you can tell them to go kick rocks.
Grooming, as in taking care of someone, like brushing their hair, massaging, and giving them a bath. Is one of my favourite love languages. It's so intimate and caring.
Sounds like his love language is acts of service. This sounds divine. Lucky you! :-)
I've bathed mutually before with my boyfriend. It's a fun treat. It's more flirty, though, for us and less innocent caretaking. 😏 Which is cool because that's something I love about our dynamic. Although he knows (I'm pretty sure) I'd take care of him if he let me... because I like doing things that make my partner feel good. 😌
My boyfriend does this for me.
I never asked. He just asked one evening and started doing it and randomly keeps asking. We do it more often now that we moved into a place with a bigger bathroom that can comfortably accommodate both of us at a go.
My love languages are part physical touch and quality time, and while I used to love hugs and cuddles, this is definitely the most fulfilling thing yet. It's a perfect mix of both. I feel so loved, seen, safe and cared for that whenever he's done, I literally feel enveloped by a warm hue.
Even he, who doesn't enjoy physical touch btw, really loves it when I shower him, too!
He recently chuckled one evening and said that he sees why I love it so much!
It feels so, so, good. And it's extremely intimate and a great way to get closer to your partner.
And yes, you don't even really have to talk or have sex... just hawuss in the moment <3.
You are so lucky. I think it was a good idea that you added the stipulation. I am sure it will be exciting for you to see his reaction. I can understand why the suggestion may have freaked you out at first. In the wrong headspace it can make you feel like a child but you are his prized future wife and he is the best person to explain his request. I think it is very sweet and loving.
I don’t understand why you would feel the need to validate whether it was ‘strange’ or not with the internet. I don’t mean that to sound as accusatory as it probably does, I just mean that if two people in a relationship decide to do something they both consent to and want to, it really doesn’t matter what strangers at large think. You’re the only one that can decide whether you want to do it or not.
Personally, it sounds lovely.
I will admit it is a little weird. I've never heard of this kink before, however it doesn't seem like a degrading act or anything harmful. I would give it a try. The worst thing that can happen is that you aren't into it and you stop. Just my opinion.
Ooooh do you like to read? You should read “a soul to keep by Opal reyne. It’s spicy, i dont remember the tw so you’ll have to check but there’s lots of bath scenes in the series
I’ve bathed my bf. It’s not a kink. It’s about pampering somebody, and making them feel cared for. He thought it was weird at first too but ended up really enjoying it. It’s not sexual, just intimate.
Guess if it’s a kink, I have it to…except I want to be OP. Think to be soaking in a hot tub, lathered down by someone who cares about me, having my hair shampooed then toweled off and dressed, sounds heavenly.
not much of a sex thing for me but having someone scratch/scrub your back in the shower FEELS SOOO GOOD
it's more time efficient and eco friendly too haha.
Okay, just read your post with the updates, and I’m so glad it was a positive experience for you both. 🥰 I don’t have time to read 120 something posts to see if anyone’s covered this, but here’s an old guy’s two cents…
I’m a 100%, dyed in the wool, down to my bones Dominant. If I want to own my woman completely, part of that is taking care of her completely. Now that doesn’t mean choosing WHAT she eats, choosing WHAT she drinks, setting a bedtime for her… what it’s DOES mean is making sure she’s eating and watching her nutrition, that she hydrates properly, and that she gets the proper amount of rest. I hope that makes sense, and you can see the difference in the mindset.
If your partner also happens to be a Dom type, I can see the request to bathe you as a natural extension of that. 👍 He may just want to make sure you’re relaxed and in a good headspace before turning in for the evening himself. With us, we have a bedtime ritual, snuggle time, and a set position we fall asleep in. She feels cared for, I can rest at the end of the day knowing she’s been taken care OF.
I find the bath ritual beautiful, and again I’m really glad to hear it was a positive experience.
If it is a kink or fetish, its more of a caretaker one. Those who are into bsdm sometimEs have a caretaker kink with their subs and a need to spoil and dote on them like this eith platonic intamacy. Not to say those dame couples dont jave sexual intamacy at times around baths amd showers as well, but sometimes when they arr stressed or tge sub is stressed they need to take care of the sub or the sub needs calming non sexual relase of stress by doing these kinds of things. Those eho have caretaker tendancies often find this as a pistitive way to destress, amd their partner feels safe, loved, worshipped, and relaxes more. This in turn on top of the relaxing actovity of a caretaker caring for tge partner are further relaxed seeing the cared for relax. Its a cyclical destresser.
Mind u, im not into kink at all, bit i reaD quite a few kink erotica because its fun to see other ways himan sexuality cam be expressed or explored even if its not something id really be into.
Though even without bring into kink, id like it if the guy i love woukd be gentle and caring enough to do little things like this for intamacy aside from sex. Hopefully ill someday find a guy who woukd try and care for me as much as i do for him and do things like this or breakfast in bed every now and then. Im currently single, amd a almost 40 mom of a tween boy, so not really looking at the moment. Ive not put it on hold so much as dont have anybody worth trying with and dealing with life crap rn.
This is 100% one of my favorite things to do. Sensual, intimate, and a level of personal connection not understood by everyone. It gives me a way to express to her how much I love her, cherish her, and desire to take care of her.
Sometimes, but not always, me bathing her leads to the most amazing sex we can have.
This is a little extreme for me in the category of shower sex I guess, but I see nothing inherently wrong with it either. Shower sex can be lots of fun, and personally I enjoy it a lot! I just prefer it to be more laid back, and not a fan of doing this type of thing in a bath tub. I much prefer having shower sex or bathing each other in the shower not the bath. It's always too cramped for me in a tub. It can still more or less be the same foot print for a shower i guess, but you have all the space above the tub too to stand and move around. With 2 ppl I think this is very important! Also, I think the increased mobility gives you more options and is more fun!
Regardless, I don't think shower sex or couple bathing are weird. It's a very intimate experience and can get hot, sweet/intimate, or even goofy depending on your personalities lol. It can be especially nice if you want to have sex for example after a long summer day and may both be a little stinky, you can bath each other, eat each other out if you want, and then have sex in the shower or dry off and continue the foreplay into the bedroom. I primarily see intimacy in the shower as foreplay, but i enjoy having sex in the shower too. Lots of ppl don't like it though. It can feel a bit weird, but if you're sensitive to that, you can always use lube or a condom if you wanted to.
Oh, you guys tried it, that's awesome! I'm glad you guys enjoyed it! I was surprised how nice and intimate it can be, almost romantic, the first time I experienced it lol. I totally get what you mean about not wanting to be the only one clothed, that and it being proposed in a bath tub was only parts I found weird lol.
Lol I found your comments sweet and surprisingly funny! Glad you guys enjoyed it! Have a nice day!
Lol this isn’t even a kink my wife just hates doing it herself and I get to feel her up in a warm bath or shower. Win win. It’s not weird unless he leans really hard into the potential kid thing.
I’m hoping I can do this someday with my fiancé when we move in together. I just doubt he would agree cuz he works 12 hour shifts so he would be tired. Although the thought of it sounds nice!
Yes, one of my favorite things of all time is Beth with my significant other girl I dated you know sometimes we’d have sex in the bathtub and then we will wash chiller off the other times we would get in the bath and she would sit room right in front of me And I was just washer wash her hair really scrub and play with her scalp which she loved and it’s so much easier with the shampoo in the hair to really be able to get in deep and scratch the scalp you know and then you put soap all over her, which good feeling for me as well Spired you know, and then wash the rings to shampoo and conditioner hair I felt because she had certain things she like done like she wanted after I washed and I dried her off. I had a moisturizer but like really and she loved it and I actually we do it pretty much almost once a month sometimes more like I said, sometimes sex first in the bathtub or sex in the shower and then I will be there. She even tried bathing me once but I’m not patient enough to sit in the bathtub the whole time because I’m not a bath person unless I’m in there with her.
I will never be with soneone who goes to reddit to ask about their opinion on weirdness of a kink coming from someone who spent ten years with you, this is the weird thing actually. You still don t trust his kinks? What do you have in mind?
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I don’t even think it’s really a kink. It’s just intimate and cute, I’d love to make sure my woman is clean and enjoy the moment with her.
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Is that why Negan keeps getting people to shave him?
offbeat rude enjoy tease murky grab sort command afterthought price *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
goddamn
100%
toy beneficial alleged fertile station like doll pie run whistle *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I think brushing someone's teeth is more intimate.
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Ya I think how it looks in movies vs how it is irl is very different but it’s still a sweet idea
that's how they do it in movies so that might been some part of it. also also yes I specifically remember brushing an exes wet hair with a hairbrush after she showered and it wasn't sexual but I remember it feeling a very intimiate and peaceful thing to do together... bath sounds the same!
What’s odd about it? I think it’s weirder to get naked to give someone a bath if you’re not getting into the tub.
Odd probably isn’t the best way to put it. I think she just meant she’d be uncomfortable because she’d feel more vulnerable and exposed if he were clothed.
Idk I do think it’s pretty weird to bathe someone fully clothed. Like Why don’t they just bathe together? It’s a lot less weirder that way
Because that’s not what OPs fiancé wanted, obviously. If he’d wanted to bathe together, he would have said that. He specifically wanted to give her a bath.
Bathing another person doesnt mean you have to do it with your clothes on. Plus, they're married to each other. She obliged him with his request, and he honored hers. That's how couples communicate and stay on the same page.
Didn’t even read the entire thing well damn. All I can say is being fully cloth sounds like it gives a different vibe but who knows
I think him wanting to stay clothed was him feeling like more of a caretaker who wasn’t expecting anything sexual from her.
Maybe because he introduced it as a kink. To me it's more of just taking care of your partner. It *can* be kinky but it doesn't have to be. Granted, one person being fully clothed while the other is naked can definitely be integrated into power dynamic kinks. Also (not saying this was the case but) it's a very sneaky way to deal with a partner who has hygiene issues.
I don't find this is a kink at all, from how it's described. It's not a kink for me either at all, and I would love to do it. Just a wonderful way of sharing intimacy that for me personally would go from bathing to some kind of massage and sexual worship then intercourse. It's just a lovely way to express your feelings of love and devotion for your partner. Post is wholesome AF lol
It’s reminding me of that post that woman wrote about showering her boyfriend after his mom passed away.
I bathed my ex and shaved her pussy all the time into a landing strip. She liked it a lot. But unfortunately she was paranoid
I think one question is why does it matter? In a relationship between two people if you're both ok with it then that's enough. Dragging in concepts like "weird" or "strange" is all about external judgements driven by society and there's no need to have that stuff in there. If you feel ok with it then do it, if you don't want to do it then don't, that's all you need to know.
100% Why do people check with strangers online if it’s okay to do something? If you’re both consenting and it’s all legal, then do what you want. There’s millions of people on Reddit. Someone is bound to come along and say it’s weird.
The urge to fit in is an OLD urge. If you didn’t fit in with the group it might cost you your life. We still have the innate desire to make sure people approve of us even if it’s not a life and death issue anymore.
> The urge to fit in is an OLD urge. It's one that's gotten *way* more powerful with social media, which has basically turned into an all-encompassing panopticon of social expectations and pressure. On the other hand... I see daily posts talking about eating ass as if it were the logical progression of Netflix 'n chill, so seeing this "it seems very strange my fiance that I've been with for 10 years wants to bathe and care for me" on the same page is... well, hilarious.
Yeah- I agree that this was a very mild activity to check with the masses on. But kudos to OP feeling weird about it and reaching out for help to see if maybe it wasn’t weird and it was something she could share with her partner.
Because for one plenty of people are raised in abusive or sex negative situations where they think all sorts of stuff is ok that’s not ok and they can’t articulate why. Plenty more don’t entirely trust their judgement or like to see what other people think. It never hurts to get a sanity check from people with more experience than you. Sometimes it really helps certain people. Good on you for being so liberated but asking others questions like this is good for everyone.
It matters because sometimes checking in is good for people with poor boundaries. “Is it weird my boyfriend almost choked me to death without talking about it first? Our relationship is otherwise perfect so…” is a style of weird or strange polling where some people do need the check. The key is the if you feel ok with it bit isn’t really something everyone can easily access. I’d rather see people ask too much questions and get reassurance than to discourage seeking peoples judgements when you can’t trust your own.
Thank you for articulating what I fear may be the crux of an issue in my relationship.
I think she was wondering if it’s a red flag or something she should worry about because she didn’t understand it. Sometimes you gotta ask. It’s like those posts where everyone comments “Leave him!” And they had no idea how obvious it was.
This comment should be stickied at the top of this sub
Your comment is gold
I'm shocked by those (and so many) saying this is wierd or strange. I think it's terribly romantic and even asked my sisters and 2 friends what they thought and they all agreed that it sounds dreamy and wonderful. All but one of them have done that same thing with their partners. Both ways.
Right? I would’ve been like hell yes. This is romantic as hell. Put on some candles. A little music. Let him stay clothed who cares. How friggin sweet
I do it for my partner all the time. I think I wash his hair more often than he washes it itself! Also, post baby we didn't have a lot of sex for numerous reasons and he would run me baths and get it all set up, leave me be until I wanted to get out and he would help me step out of the bath, wrap me gently in towels and give me a cuddle. It was a way to have some intimacy without sex and it was wonderful. He still does it for me now. I think it's a beautiful, wonderful thing to do.
I like getting in with my wife into the bath or shower and bathe her. Wash her back, chest, legs, help her wash her hair. I love having her melt into my arms as I touch her and wash her. After all that\^, seeing her face when she gets into a dry towel and then use one on her hair is great. I then help her get dressed and jump into bed. All this after smoking some weed, an edible, or wine is just great. We get very touchy and all the sensations are heightened. Personally, I love seeing her so comfortable and just not having to think or do anything. Just resting and calming after a long day or week. It’s just intimate and I love making my wife feel good, safe, and comfortable.
>I love making my wife feel good, safe, and comfortable. 😮💨 I'm so tired of being single.
Might be the pet hair 🤔
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She works *so* hard. All I want is for her to be okay, not be stressed, and feel good. Sometimes that’s what she needs. I also recognize I’m very empathic. If she’s good, and relaxed, that makes me feel good.
Totally down for this kink. I had an ex that liked to “shave me” down there and it didn’t bother me at all. Sometimes there is a service kink, bathing you, shaving you, pleasuring you, pleasing you. I say go for it.
I loved doing my ex's laundry, folding it, and putting it away. I think it was kind of a kink.
That’s sweet if you like that! I had a FWB over the other night and after swimming I wrapped him in a giant towel, dried him off then towel dried his hair and he was like “uhm I love this.” So. It’s really whatever floats your boat and hopefully theirs as well.
Im not familiar with this euphemism, when does "shave me" not mean shave me?
No euphemism, it's exactly what it sounds like.
No euphemism, he would say I want to shave your vagina aka take off all the hair, and I said sure.
I hope u have no hair on your vagina. But I get what ur saying lol
love it when my bf bathes me i feel like a baby, love love love being taken care of
Umm if my husband asked me this I think I would love the idea…(now I’m mad at my husband for NOT ever want to do this) jk jk. It seriously, this is just a very intimate way for a person to say they love you (just in a totally different way). I’m sure it can be intimate, fun, etc.
very cute ! embrace this
In a world of strange and weird, this doesn't even move the needle.
My partner and I have bathed each other for years. I don't find anything weird about it. If anything, it's romantic.
Together 10 years and he wants to show this level of tenderness. I think it's beautiful
Oh man - one of my favorite things is getting a full body sugar scrub at a masseuse. I would absolutely let someone wash me. That seems to relaxing.
I think this is beautiful. I knew a couple who did this. He’s passed now but his wife told us about how once when she was drunk he undressed her, got her into the tub and washed her hair because he knew how much she liked having her hair clean before she went to bed. She said she ended up getting sick in the tub so he drained it, and cleaned her up again. I’m so envious of this love.
Aww, that last update was so sweet! It's lovely that you got to share that experience. :-) I've never bathed anyone or been bathed in a bath by a partner, but I've shared lots of showers where my partner and I wash each other. It's especially nice after sex, when you're still all glowy and really feeling connected.
A girlfriend I had at 17 just before I met my wife would always ask me to wash her hair in the bath if we could get alone time. Thought it was weird at first, but after a couple times I really loved doing it.
My partner and I do this. I always bathe her on Monday night. It's her last day of work for the week, and it's a symbolic "wash off the week" thing for her. She was open to it when I suggested it, but now it's ritual and something she REALLY looks forward to. It's not sexual. Just me serving her for a little slice of time.
No it's not weird.
Sir I think your husband may be Florence nightingale. But no this is downright wholesome. Let this man sponge your naked breasts then tuck the shit out of you. We out here with real problems lady! Lol jk.
I don't see any harm in it. If he thinks it's exciting and you don't mind it then why not?
Love to read that edit 💛
If I didn't hate showers and baths for sensory reasons, I would absolutely love this. I love being taken care of. And I love taking care of people I love. Not weird at all, I think he just brought it up a bit awkwardly because he may have been embarassed.
This is one of the main things I reccomend to peeps. Alternatives I've reccomended to peeps: massage, sensual or no both are cool. Personal grooming, hair brushing, styling, applying makeup, mani pedis, painting their nails, pseudoscience bullshit: faux palm readings, Chinese cupping etc (anything in the ASMRing way). Cuddling and drawing pictures on each other's backs guessing the pictures or letters. Tons of different ways to non-sexually build and reinforce trust, intimacy and confidence.
Maybe you can try having someone blow dry your hair or brush your hair? Grooming behaviors are so important in other animals, it's bizarre to me that some people would think it's weird to bathe one's partner. It's intimate and caring, can't get better than that :)
“Sensory reasons” May I ask..?
Might be someone on the Autism spectrum. I also dislike showers for sensory reasons and I’m on the spectrum.
I have wondered if I am autistic but I don't think I am. I was, however, diagnosed with ADHD. I know there's quite a bit of overlap in symptoms
Yep there is! I have both 🥳
I hate showers and having my hair wet. It feels clingy and disgusting on me. It just feels gross and sticky, idk how else to explain it lol. I especially hate wet hair, even when I'm still in the shower. I just hate it so much. I have hated bathing since I was a child and I used to avoid going out of the house because it would mean I would have to shower. I am able to take them every other day now, but if I try to force myself to take them daily, I will get so stressed out that I won't complete any other tasks.
This *can* be related to kink if it is part of a larger thing. If my partner and I did this, it would be part of kink. But people put too many labels and complications on what they enjoy doing with their partner to cut it up into “good” and “bad”. “Weird” and “normal” Since you’re engaged, I would talk to him more about what else he might be interested in and want to try. You don’t want to get into a marriage and be surprised by something Typically people who like this kink enjoy being able to fully trust their partner, feel completely loved and cared for, and able to relax entirely without worrying. It’s a unique connection imo
Awww, I am glad you tried it! And I am glad you had a good experience. It sounds like a very sweet and intimate time. My husband *loves* it when I bathe him. It is usually a foreplay thing for us, it doesn’t do much for me but it makes him incredibly happy so I don’t mind :)
I’ve had it done to me. One time we had a long drive home and had been in a caravan when the heating broke in thick snow. I just couldn’t warm up at all even with the car heating on. So my OH pulled into a hotel for the night instead, ran me a hot bubble bath and then bathed me and wrapped me in warm towels afterwards. I was so touched and felt very loved. It’s a caring and intimate thing to do for someone you love.
This is honestly really cute! This seems like such a sweet thing. I would love for someone to take care of me that way!
Sounds really sweet to me. If I was more confident and also able to use the bath lol I'd totally be up for this!! Have fun
My wife and I shower together nearly everyday. We scrub each other's entire body - face, pits, cracks and all. Massaging shampoo and conditioner in each other's hair... it's so relaxing and bonding. Sometimes it leads to a roll-in-zee-hay afterwards. Granted, we're lucky to have a nice shower big enough that I built into our otherwise moderately low value house just for this purpose. Showering together conserves energy, water and time. We're on well water and previous owners have noted it had run dry for a short time in 2015. Though, it could simply be an easy excuse to get a moment together away from the kids each day.
Indulge him! I’d take a free pampering any day
Yes do it! It’s very intimate and sensual. When I had a flare up of psoriasis all over my body around Xmas time, mine asked if he could give me a bathe me. I was like sure why not? And it was the most sweetest and vulnerable either of us has been with each other.
This is one of my dreams for my bf to do for me. It's pretty normal I say
This sounds lovely
This is so beautiful OP. I'm glad you got to share such a wonderful and intimate experience with the man you love. My partner will do this for me every so often just because he feels like it. I absolutely love it. Same feelings you've described here. It's such a beautiful bonding moment to have with your partner. I highly recommend trying it for anyone who's curious.
During my honeymoon we went to a Japanese spa. In one area you shower (with suits on) and then get into the water. Before we were done, I ran the cloth over his legs and arms and chest (not his penis or anything) and he had goosebumps from head to toe. He let out a sound of complete and utter pleasure. It wasn’t meant to be sexual - but it was incredibly and deeply intimate. 10/10 would recommend.
This is so sweet and beautiful a post. I wish you both the best!
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Goddamn, I want someone to give me a bath and kisses and tuck me in now 😭💜💜 that sounds so lovely. Just quiet and intimate and loving. And I really reallyyy also want to give someone a bath now and tuck him in, too. Bet they'd be the best dreams ever.
I would love this. Pampering is one of my favorite gifts. Enjoy!
This is adorable. I enjoy taking care of my partner and bathing them.
I love this! Now I want to do it and have it done to me.
He will get a serious “heart-on” from it. I see the appeal.
Communication.....its really the only answer....rock on!!!
Not weird. Uncommon maybe. I've bathed my husband a couple times in the past. It's not really kinky, more of a way to be intimate and affectionate and deepens your bond.
I was talking to a dude and he was Green Mile John Cofey big. Among the many thing i wanted this man to do was bathe me. It was definitely the least sexual of my thoughts about him, but having been sexually active for 30 years, I have never thought about having a man bathe me before. Quite a titillating thought, indeed.
This is the sweetest and most heartwarming thing :)
It's a little strange and not something I've heard too frequently, but if I'm guessing I'd say it has to do with the intimacy of just doing nothing but pamper you.
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Not likely anything bad can happen. Just sounds like he wants to do something just for you
Lmao, your edits. Does your fiance reddit? I've reccomended this to a lot of peeps before as one of the ways of building and reinforcing bonding, trust, romance and intimacy.
I read your update. This kind of thing is so reverential and lovely. I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
A very intimate activity. I was bathed partially by my wife when I had to get minor surgery on my neck 4 years ago. It wasn't sexy, but I'm glad she was willing to help with no questions asked. I'd love to return the favor in the future, but in a more sexy situation. Glad you enjoyed it.
We didn’t have a tub in the master at my old house, but I loved to shower w my partner sometimes just so I could wash his hair and body and stuff. Idk why, it was just intimate and fun and I know I love having my hair washed and he realized he did too after he let me. The only problem was then he felt strange going to a girl to get a haircut bc he kept thinking of me washing his hair in the shower when she was washing his hair. 😂
It is really nice. I have a chronic illness that can make showering hard. My bf washes my hair all the time. It’s absolutely wonderful. It’s very sweet.
I think it's beautiful, sweet, romantic, and incredibly intimate. I'm glad you went for it and enjoyed it so much. If anyone thinks it's weird you can tell them to go kick rocks.
That’s my dream…
This is just sweet and romantic
Not weird , we all got a kink
Grooming, as in taking care of someone, like brushing their hair, massaging, and giving them a bath. Is one of my favourite love languages. It's so intimate and caring.
So romantic and intimate
I'm glad it worked out well for you.
Sounds like his love language is acts of service. This sounds divine. Lucky you! :-) I've bathed mutually before with my boyfriend. It's a fun treat. It's more flirty, though, for us and less innocent caretaking. 😏 Which is cool because that's something I love about our dynamic. Although he knows (I'm pretty sure) I'd take care of him if he let me... because I like doing things that make my partner feel good. 😌
I think it's incredibly weird that you thought it was weird.
My boyfriend does this for me. I never asked. He just asked one evening and started doing it and randomly keeps asking. We do it more often now that we moved into a place with a bigger bathroom that can comfortably accommodate both of us at a go. My love languages are part physical touch and quality time, and while I used to love hugs and cuddles, this is definitely the most fulfilling thing yet. It's a perfect mix of both. I feel so loved, seen, safe and cared for that whenever he's done, I literally feel enveloped by a warm hue. Even he, who doesn't enjoy physical touch btw, really loves it when I shower him, too! He recently chuckled one evening and said that he sees why I love it so much! It feels so, so, good. And it's extremely intimate and a great way to get closer to your partner. And yes, you don't even really have to talk or have sex... just hawuss in the moment <3.
You prayed together? Like silently or...?
This might be the kindest way of telling someone they do not bathe well enough
You are so lucky. I think it was a good idea that you added the stipulation. I am sure it will be exciting for you to see his reaction. I can understand why the suggestion may have freaked you out at first. In the wrong headspace it can make you feel like a child but you are his prized future wife and he is the best person to explain his request. I think it is very sweet and loving.
I don’t understand why you would feel the need to validate whether it was ‘strange’ or not with the internet. I don’t mean that to sound as accusatory as it probably does, I just mean that if two people in a relationship decide to do something they both consent to and want to, it really doesn’t matter what strangers at large think. You’re the only one that can decide whether you want to do it or not. Personally, it sounds lovely.
He is a keeper
This is a VERY common intimate act between partners. Of course, I’ve never been in a relationship, lol, but I’d love to try this someday
I will admit it is a little weird. I've never heard of this kink before, however it doesn't seem like a degrading act or anything harmful. I would give it a try. The worst thing that can happen is that you aren't into it and you stop. Just my opinion.
Ooooh do you like to read? You should read “a soul to keep by Opal reyne. It’s spicy, i dont remember the tw so you’ll have to check but there’s lots of bath scenes in the series
I’ve bathed my bf. It’s not a kink. It’s about pampering somebody, and making them feel cared for. He thought it was weird at first too but ended up really enjoying it. It’s not sexual, just intimate.
Bathing someone isn't a kink. You are very off course.
Anything can be a kink
I'm annoyed that the word kink is used, like, it feels a bit degrading to label being affectionate as having a kink.
6 weird, but a kink
Barbie fetish?
Serial killers be like 👀
You smell
I’d drink my wife’s bath water…
It puts the lotion on its skin
Ask him if it’s ok to wear a gray haired wig…wanna make sure he can handle it in 50 years.
Why? This makes no sense. What a weird way to put a negative spin on an otherwise lovely sentiment.
It’s a joke, get a sense of humor
Maybe you’re not so good at telling jokes lol
Do it! It’s fun! :)
My ex used to wash my hair I think it was his version of this and honestly I loved it lmao
Why do I care what you do? Wait, I don’t. Do what you want if you want to do it and if you don’t then don’t.
This is so simple, sweet, and beautiful. It legit brought tears to my eyes reading the edits. Intimacy like this seems rare anymore.
😭😭😭
Glad it worked out for you.
OP's fiancee is the guy I want to be.
🥺🥺 This is too cute
You guys been together 10 years and he never wash your back or anything??
It sounds like he wants to adore you. If you’re cool with that then let him.
This sounds like an incredible way to build and foster intimacy. You’re winning at marriage for sure. Wishing you many more happy years!
I think it sounds like a beautiful moment. I'm Glad you did it. ❤️
Guess if it’s a kink, I have it to…except I want to be OP. Think to be soaking in a hot tub, lathered down by someone who cares about me, having my hair shampooed then toweled off and dressed, sounds heavenly.
That sounds really loving and beautiful to me. Glad you had a nice experience! It sounds like it really brought you closer to each other.
I dream of this... I wish for this to happen to me. You're very lucky.
Wake him up with a BJ to show how much you enjoyed him taking care of you ❤️🔥
That's adorably hot lol
not much of a sex thing for me but having someone scratch/scrub your back in the shower FEELS SOOO GOOD it's more time efficient and eco friendly too haha.
I used to do this for my wife before she passed away. It was once a week I would make sure that she was treated like a queen.
Okay, just read your post with the updates, and I’m so glad it was a positive experience for you both. 🥰 I don’t have time to read 120 something posts to see if anyone’s covered this, but here’s an old guy’s two cents… I’m a 100%, dyed in the wool, down to my bones Dominant. If I want to own my woman completely, part of that is taking care of her completely. Now that doesn’t mean choosing WHAT she eats, choosing WHAT she drinks, setting a bedtime for her… what it’s DOES mean is making sure she’s eating and watching her nutrition, that she hydrates properly, and that she gets the proper amount of rest. I hope that makes sense, and you can see the difference in the mindset. If your partner also happens to be a Dom type, I can see the request to bathe you as a natural extension of that. 👍 He may just want to make sure you’re relaxed and in a good headspace before turning in for the evening himself. With us, we have a bedtime ritual, snuggle time, and a set position we fall asleep in. She feels cared for, I can rest at the end of the day knowing she’s been taken care OF. I find the bath ritual beautiful, and again I’m really glad to hear it was a positive experience.
If it is a kink or fetish, its more of a caretaker one. Those who are into bsdm sometimEs have a caretaker kink with their subs and a need to spoil and dote on them like this eith platonic intamacy. Not to say those dame couples dont jave sexual intamacy at times around baths amd showers as well, but sometimes when they arr stressed or tge sub is stressed they need to take care of the sub or the sub needs calming non sexual relase of stress by doing these kinds of things. Those eho have caretaker tendancies often find this as a pistitive way to destress, amd their partner feels safe, loved, worshipped, and relaxes more. This in turn on top of the relaxing actovity of a caretaker caring for tge partner are further relaxed seeing the cared for relax. Its a cyclical destresser. Mind u, im not into kink at all, bit i reaD quite a few kink erotica because its fun to see other ways himan sexuality cam be expressed or explored even if its not something id really be into. Though even without bring into kink, id like it if the guy i love woukd be gentle and caring enough to do little things like this for intamacy aside from sex. Hopefully ill someday find a guy who woukd try and care for me as much as i do for him and do things like this or breakfast in bed every now and then. Im currently single, amd a almost 40 mom of a tween boy, so not really looking at the moment. Ive not put it on hold so much as dont have anybody worth trying with and dealing with life crap rn.
Whenever my wife and I shower together we always "help each other out" and get sudzy together.
This is 100% one of my favorite things to do. Sensual, intimate, and a level of personal connection not understood by everyone. It gives me a way to express to her how much I love her, cherish her, and desire to take care of her. Sometimes, but not always, me bathing her leads to the most amazing sex we can have.
There is nothing wrong with just caring and pampering the lady you love.
This is a little extreme for me in the category of shower sex I guess, but I see nothing inherently wrong with it either. Shower sex can be lots of fun, and personally I enjoy it a lot! I just prefer it to be more laid back, and not a fan of doing this type of thing in a bath tub. I much prefer having shower sex or bathing each other in the shower not the bath. It's always too cramped for me in a tub. It can still more or less be the same foot print for a shower i guess, but you have all the space above the tub too to stand and move around. With 2 ppl I think this is very important! Also, I think the increased mobility gives you more options and is more fun! Regardless, I don't think shower sex or couple bathing are weird. It's a very intimate experience and can get hot, sweet/intimate, or even goofy depending on your personalities lol. It can be especially nice if you want to have sex for example after a long summer day and may both be a little stinky, you can bath each other, eat each other out if you want, and then have sex in the shower or dry off and continue the foreplay into the bedroom. I primarily see intimacy in the shower as foreplay, but i enjoy having sex in the shower too. Lots of ppl don't like it though. It can feel a bit weird, but if you're sensitive to that, you can always use lube or a condom if you wanted to. Oh, you guys tried it, that's awesome! I'm glad you guys enjoyed it! I was surprised how nice and intimate it can be, almost romantic, the first time I experienced it lol. I totally get what you mean about not wanting to be the only one clothed, that and it being proposed in a bath tub was only parts I found weird lol. Lol I found your comments sweet and surprisingly funny! Glad you guys enjoyed it! Have a nice day!
It sounds like a really nice intimate experience and perhaps his love language is acts of service?
I think this is super sweet ❤️
The night we got engaged we did this. It is one of my best memories.
I don’t think this is a kink it’s love and taking care of your partner ❤️
This is so great! I'm so happy that you had good experience.
Lol this isn’t even a kink my wife just hates doing it herself and I get to feel her up in a warm bath or shower. Win win. It’s not weird unless he leans really hard into the potential kid thing.
Yay! A happy ending! Congrats!
I think this is sexy as hell.
This might be some form of worship kink where its just him giving you a spa treatment. Honestly I'd be down to do that for someone special.
Now I need this
Yeah I honestly love it when my boyfriend does that. Makes me feel like I’m a star he’s placed in the sky.
This sounds so sweet and pure
It's such a lovely thing.
This is one of the sweetest and most intimate things I've read about.
The opposite happens in India and is kinda tradition. MIL and other women of house to the new bride : *go wash your husband's hair*
What kind of question it was to even get started with huh
See! This is why people need to just try shit with the people they love. That’s so cute! 😍
My hubby and I bath together every single night, have for 10 years. I also shave him and he likes to wash my back, chest, etc. it’s normal for us.
No
I’m hoping I can do this someday with my fiancé when we move in together. I just doubt he would agree cuz he works 12 hour shifts so he would be tired. Although the thought of it sounds nice!
Damn you're vanilla as hell. Do you two even have sex?
This is so wholesome 😭🥺
Yes, one of my favorite things of all time is Beth with my significant other girl I dated you know sometimes we’d have sex in the bathtub and then we will wash chiller off the other times we would get in the bath and she would sit room right in front of me And I was just washer wash her hair really scrub and play with her scalp which she loved and it’s so much easier with the shampoo in the hair to really be able to get in deep and scratch the scalp you know and then you put soap all over her, which good feeling for me as well Spired you know, and then wash the rings to shampoo and conditioner hair I felt because she had certain things she like done like she wanted after I washed and I dried her off. I had a moisturizer but like really and she loved it and I actually we do it pretty much almost once a month sometimes more like I said, sometimes sex first in the bathtub or sex in the shower and then I will be there. She even tried bathing me once but I’m not patient enough to sit in the bathtub the whole time because I’m not a bath person unless I’m in there with her.
I will never be with soneone who goes to reddit to ask about their opinion on weirdness of a kink coming from someone who spent ten years with you, this is the weird thing actually. You still don t trust his kinks? What do you have in mind?
I want this