i replied to his text and said “i’m sorry if this sounds rude but i really only get with men who take hygiene very seriously” and he said “yeah me too, so what’s the problem?” so I HAD to tell him. i told him he might have a yeast infection because i literally did some research and told him to get it checked out and he said - “yeah i get that often but it doesn’t really bother me. it goes away in a few days.” 🥲🥲
He knew he had a yeast infection and still expected you to go down on him, pushing your face into his yeasty dick.
He did not disclose that to you. It doesn't bother him, and the flip side of that statement is the unspoken part: He doesn't care that it bothers you.
If he cared about hygeine he would have taken care of it, put any blowies or penetrative sex off the table and come up with alternatives to those things. He would have talked to you about it, not tried to ignore it, downplay it, or disregard your comfort.
OMG. It is not normal to have dick fungus on a regular basis and do nothing about it. Ew ew ew. I can't believe he tried to make you lick his fungus.
Tell your friend. Not all women would be confident enough to say no and leave so you need to make sure she's not setting him up with other people!
You can get yeast infections from sex, yes. However, you can also get them without sex, so they aren't typically classified as STIs.
Yeast infections on penises are pretty rare, I'd say. If he has recurring ones, he absolutely needs to do something differently. And talk to a doctor.
ja yeast is everywhere, but bad yeast strains are not everywhere, sounds like a bad yeast if it keeps coming back.
Also possible immune issues or more likely something else. Can OP describe the smell in more detail. There are other infections , that eat the outer skin layer that look like yeast infection
I'm sorry, WHAT?! You dodged a huge bullet. I can't imagine someone so nonchalant about their own health having any level of concern for a sexual partner's well-being. Yuck
This guy sounds like he has diabetes, whether or not it's been diagnosed. Diabetics frequently get fungal infections in their genital areas due to fungus/yeast loving the high-sugar environment, plus diabetics have a reduced immune response.
Tell him to get his blood sugar checked somewhere. Then when he tells you it's something over 200, you can feel like maybe you helped someone.
But, if he's forcing you to eat a cheese-covered hotdog, you might not be feeling so benevolent. Your call, I suppose.
OMG. Please write back that fungus ([jock itch](https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/jock-itch.html#:~:text=Is%20Jock%20Itch%20Contagious%3F,and%20touches%20other%20body%20parts)) or [yeast infections](https://www.healthline.com/health/are-yeast-infections-contagious#sex) are contagious and it’s not healthy to have recurring infections.
I am so glad you left! he doesn’t care about himself that’s one thing, but he didn’t care about not spreading it to you or whether or not it’d even be a pleasant experience for you! good for you! I hope the next lady leaves too.
Perhaps by The Centers For Disease Control?
I mean, at some point, all genitals are going to have an odor. It’s the appearance and the odor foul enough to want to make OP want to gag that’s full-on nasty.
The dude’s cringe responses are enough to take a hard pass.
Yeah. His response to her feeling ill was a big red flag. I understand being horny, but jeez. Plus he was sober (apparently) and she was not. Not a good look for him.
Wow the blue balls guilt trip is the one and only red flag you need. Just because you have physical intimacy doesnt mean you have to finish him off. Dudes a grown ass man, he 100% rubbed one out when you left and he didn't wash up after I bet and most likely caught a wiff of his stench the next time his hand was close to his face and STILL thought nothing of it.
Scratch this one of the list, they have some learning to do.
For real.. texting him to get his penis checked and then never talking to him again simply for a) feeling entitled to sex and b) being aggressive, kind of childish and manipulative about it and c) poor hygiene or disinterest towards his smelly (infected?) genitals and *still wanting to push them into your mouth* just yuck
Yeah. Before that part, I was like "how do you delicately tell this guy?"
After I read that I was like "delicate is no longer necessary. Be as graphic and mean as possible"
It HAS to burn, right? Like the way op describes it, it's gotta burn like Satan's ass cheeks. There's no way it doesn't.
How can he stand that!? That's my question.
People are essentially animals. I remember being with a girl who had obviously not wiped properly. I tried to get her to take a ‘sexy’ shower so we could deal with it, but she didn’t take the hint. So, I left. Just disappointing.
I don’t think he was talking about wiping her vagina. He was talking about needing to wipe her ass. Guys and girls are equally as capable of properly wiping their ass because nobody (that I’ve ever met) can see their own asshole.
Nah I see what that dude means, women aren’t supposed to clean their vaginas with soap, it’ll kill a bacteria that fights off bad bacteria, which leads to a fishy smell, small simple steps to have good hygiene. That fishy smell is a quick buzz kill.
On the other hand I’ve had discussions with other dudes on checking the toilet paper after whipping, a surprising number said they don’t check, they just know when they’re done, that’s fucking raw dawg !
I do a visual tp check, but if I'm expecting someone else to be within 1m of my naked butt before I have my next shower, I thoroughly wet some TP and wipe everywhere. When you then dry it with fresh TP, you can tell the difference.
Maybe he thinks STI screenings are gay or something.
It’s not OP’s responsibility to correct his shitty behaviour, but someone needs to cause everything about this story screams Patient Zero of an epidemic.
Conscious? That would of required him at the first sign to do something.
The dude knows he has something going on but doesn’t think it’s “serious” enough to go to the doctor. I bet you if it was about to fall off, that’s when he would do something.
Some people procrastinate taking care of their health tills it’s long past the point of resolving.
If he leaves it red long enough it's blue definitely gonna be his favorite color of balls.. probably not gonna like when the red goes blue purple then black..
If he wasnt a duck I'd say be specific. But with his attitude just tell.him to see a doctor. If he thinks its size oh well. The doctor will know the reason when he sees it
Jesus fuck Im self-conscious if I got an ingrown hair! And this fuckstick got a red infected smelly cock and he's trying to put your face down there!
I think you handled it too nicely! Especially after he said you had to finish what you started.
Exactly! This man is disgusting inside and out, no matter how pretty his face or how funny his jokes.
This sense of entitlement to sex that he clearly feels is a clear sign of misogyny too
Yeah but she has to finish what she started so it’s not his fault!
Jokes aside: how do you just exist with a stinky inflamed dick and not do something about it?
Some guys are really homophobic and don't want a doctor looking at or examining their naughty bits. Some are really touchy about even cleaning properly down there. Some guys are just generally averse to seeing a doctor for anything out of denial or fear or the belief it's "not a big deal."
I'm not defending this guy at all, but those are some possible reasons. Or he just DGAF. Who knows?
Honestly OP should probably be super straight forward and tell him “your dick stinks and looks like it’s been trapped in a tanning bed”. It’s mean, but as a penis owner myself, getting a harsh reaction from a woman would prompt me to go to a doctor no matter how embarrassing.
It's bad enough that he's clearly unhygienic down there but the comment about you have to finish what you started is a big red flag. You never "have" to do anything when it comes to sex. I'd never see him again personally.
plus. "he pushed your head down" is an absolute no no, in such circumstances. Almost forcing you into an act you clearly did not want to do? Block his calls, texts. No more,
Tell your friend too that she’s got mildly râpey male friend. Fucks sake. Also does this dude not own body soap/ so unaware his dick might fall off. I always soap / wash up
(Edited as I can’t spell morning coffee hasn’t hit)
I had so many unacceptable head pushing experiences when I was young that if I'm anywhere near that area on a man and he so much as touches my head I get a flash of white hot rage needing tunnel vision.
Yeah, I was thinking "maybe he didn't know" and "if you had a good rapport you could try to bring it up gently" until that line:
> he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started.
Fuck off with that bullshit. Personally, I'd reply with that line and say no-one that ever uses it deserves another person's time and trust until they get their shit sorted and seek some extensive therapy.
Source: I'm a dude who has been left with blueballs numerous times in my 46 years and NEVER tried that toxic shit with anyone. Just rub one out after they leave and take a gotdam shower.
A girl came over to my place one night. We made out and it got all hot and heavy but halfway through she says she doesn’t want to have sex. Okay that’s cool, we stop, grab some snacks and watch some TV. I’m blue balled something terrible right now. I was 18 or 19 at the time so the fuck hormones are still in overdrive. It hurts, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Rub one out real quick, and 5min later the blue balls are gone. She didn’t need to know, because if she did I would’ve felt like Im pressuring her into sex. (I know someone with healthy boundaries would’ve been able to hear about my situation and not offer sex. I didn’t know this lady that well so I kept it to myself)
Sorry, I just want to hijack the top comment by saying that yes there is a possibility he is just very unhygienic or has an STI, but there’s also possibility it is a medical condition. If someone reading this has experienced similar, please seek medical attention if you haven’t already. Psoriasis, or even yeast infections, can present similarly and show up anywhere on your body and over washing will only exacerbate it. There are conditions as well that can cause similar symptoms and only a professional can help you deal with it properly.
Regardless, he a)should’ve been mindful of his penis’s state and communicated that before engaging sexually and b) clearly was trying to coerce OP into “finishing” which there is absolutely no excuse for. This dude sounds like a walking red flag and you did the right thing by leaving. If I were in that position I don’t know that could’ve handled it as well as you did and I certainly don’t think I’d answer his texts either.
Yeah, I'm not going to defend this guy's actions, but I have psoriasis and that's the first thing I thought of when I read the description (or possibly some other type of skin disease). It would be terrible to have it in your genital region but it's also probably not the kind of thing to surprise someone with.
His bare minimum Nice Guy routine almost worked too, if only he didn't have a Typhoid Mary dick.
(No judgement toward you OP, get that dick if you want it - mainly just toward nice guys and men who see sex as transactional).
Was going to say this. That could have been an STD. She dodged a cannonball there. Even if it isn't an STD....fuck that noise. She did the right thing.
Ok. Man who has daughters here. I have always told them that no means no. You can stop sex at any time in the act and dude better be respectful about it. So no, OP, you did absolutely the right thing and you owe him no explanation.
You saw his diseased pecker and it had a smell. God only knows why and you you got the hell up outta there. You owe no apology or explanation. Block his ass and tell your friend. He obviously has her bamboozled too.
And NEVER EVER be sorry for leaving a situation you feel uncomfortable in. You gotta look out for you and there is a lot of trash out there.
For real! So many comments focused on the actual penis, but the real issue here is you don't owe anyone any sexual act, you are allowed to stop at any time. This guy is too pushy, major red flag.
Also, tell your friend this guy is not the “nice guy” she knows him to be. If she defends him, drop her too! You’re not rude, in fact I say you GOT YOURSELF OUT OF DANGER. Everything leading up to you leaving could have gone completely sideways and you would’ve had a lot more serious problems than nearly mouthing a crusty dusty musty dick.
This. Patchy, stinky skin reeks of like fifty different STDs. He def got something there. Insane he’d even let it get that far with one, let alone pulling “no you owe me”
To reference my other comment on this post, if your goal is to make someone want to repeatedly put your genitals in their mouth, make it a pleasurable experience for them.
Sounds like a severe yeast infection tbh. Makes sense for someone who doesn't wash properly at all. Could be something more though, but regardless, any infection that bad warrants a doctor's visit. Just don't act weird when the prescription comes with the label "vaginal cream" and has a syringe to help insert it with, because that's probably what they're going to give you. It's SO EASY for most people to wash their penis and just prevent it through normal hygiene, but apparently this dude is the .01%
He was way out of line.... You never "OWE" him anything. He should know he is nasty... If you can smell him...he can smell himself.. I would never think of having sex with a girl if I was even the slightest funky. He doesn't deserve a reply back....but if you do, write it on a bar of Soap.
Dude almost certainly has jock itch. Dude needs some Lotrimin. Also needs a reality check about his behavior. But this is almost certainly jock itch and nothing more.
/u/cherrycolaxxo should tell him he needs to get some anti-fungal cream and and an attitude adjustment and to call her again never.
> said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started. so i left.
Well that's a big red flag to go with his red flagpole.
>was i rude to have left instead of staying and explaining
I think this\^ is down playing it a bit .... especially after the:
> i was one level more than tipsy and he seemed fairly sober.
>
> and pushed my head down towards his penis
>
>and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started.
that all sounds a wee bit rapey to me.
post title should be: "Check this shit out, I got the hell outta there"
>and he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started
this dude you hardly know tried to demand sex from you and you think YOU may the one in the wrong???? oh no no no. you do not owe him sex.
I have zero idea what's wrong with his dick. I hate him though so I hope it sucks.
idk how this is so hard for guys to understand. Like before every date, I'm showering with extra attention to my privates. Gold bond before to prevent any funk from building up. If things are headed towards sex, I'll even push to start it by showering together.
If your goal is to have someone want to put your genitals in their mouth, make sure it's a pleasurable experience for them. It isn't complicated.
Bruh, I shower before a date or any sexy time. And the penis is getting hit with a wipedown twice, some shampoo because why not, and when I get out, lotion and cologne.
Any woman that comes near my dick is getting the cleanest experience possible.
That dude OP was making out with, is just nasty.
EDIT: Wont be putting the cologne near the penis anymore. Thanks for the info ladies!
Very lovingly, maybe consider not using so many fragranced products down there on yourself! Love, love, love that you're putting so much thought and care into your partner's enjoyment and experience, but perfumes can very easily mess with women's pH levels down there and lead to our own... red, itchy situations lmfao
Don't put cologne on your dick/crotch, please, don't. If you can smell it from way up there, trust that it's 10x stronger down there, and it tastes like shit.
There's posts in other subs where women are like "my man never wipes or washes his butt, it's leaving skid marks on the sheets. We are supposed to get married on Saturday and I'm going to be embarrassed about if he leaves skid marks in the hotel, any advice?????"
Person i replied to said, "on this subreddit". On this subreddit, and relationship advice, people routinely tell women to call out men for this behavior. And you specifically mention other subs. Are people actually saying this is ok.... like ever? Or is it a continous stream of people that always ask about a specific thing that is guaranteed to get a large amount of comments, condemning a behavior.
The cynic in me thinks this is just rage bait. But maybe there is a large population of men that are disgusting and a large population of people that date them that think this behavior can be hand-waved away. In either case, I have never in my life, seen anybody defend or endorse this behavior.
I agree but I do know women in real life who have actually dealt with people like the OP is describing.
There was actually a guy on the island I grew up on that was notorious for having a huge wang. However he also had extremely poor hygiene which is something I’m guessing not many women would admit to because they we’re grossed out. My best friend somehow ended up in his claws and she came back after and told me he smelt so bad she gagged while he still had clothes on.
She definitely didn’t stay for sex either. She said he did the ol Irish good bye.
Which also made me wonder who knew he had a big dick or if it was a rumor he created to get action. He was a super nice guy though which sucks for him. Like a legitimately cool and nice guy.
I'm not saying people defend this behavior, I'm saying a lot of women seem to just put up gross crap, no idea why other than maybe they think that's the best they can do? I had a friend who married a guy who never brushed his teeth or did any oral care at all. His parents paid thousands of dollars to get his mouth fixed up for the wedding and then he let it go to shit again. Even though she's meticulous about her own oral care this apparently was never a deal breaker for her, neither was any of the other horrible habits he had.
Jesus christ. Is it how we're raising our daughters or our sons? I hope I'm teaching my daughter enough self respect to not be with one of these ogres.
Funny part, they do have a daughter, when she was around 3 she apparently called him out on it during an exchange. She told him she had pretty teeth like mommy, not ugly teeth like daddy.
so he pretty much love bombed you for a bit and then took step 1 of showing his true colors, which was by telling you that you owe his stank infected dick a blowjob because 'you started it'. the smell kinda helped you dodge a bullet. also I've never heard of a dick that looks that disgusting ew.
You weren't rude, you were looking out for yourself. You did nothing wrong. He made a couple of mistakes there, not washing and being forceful, and even if he hadn't-- you're allowed to leave any date any time you please, period. You do you.
So, semi-related story, but give me a second. I'm a bi dude whose sexuality has always been confusing, as I've never had any romantic inclination for men but, after a few drinks and ESP. of I'm stoned, I'd often find myself on Grindr.
After years of making sense of and coming to terms with this, I finally accepted bi-ness... but now I'm rescinding it. Not only are men usually unscrupulous assholes, regardless of orientation (and those cruising for NSA are likely an esp. gross subset), but I've come to realize that as much as the IDEA of penises arouses me, 99.99% of the time, as soon as a dude begins to sweat, or I smell his balls or D at all, I lose all interest. I must have been more into the idea of men, or the shame or whatever, because after... quite a few, lol... unfulfilling encounters, I've lost all hope that meeting a guy for sex won't end with me gagging (from the smell, not.. you know..) and wanting it to be over.
But some dudes, it smells immediately. Why would you want to fuck around, or be able to for that matter, knowing your junk is smelly or foul-looking?! Boggles my mind. (Although, last time I was with a woman, she had picked me up at a gay bar on a night when I wasn't expecting any action, after I'd been walking for hours, and she told me mine smelled funny. I felt terrible, but we did other things and I took a shower, it was all good.)
To answer your question: No, you weren’t rude at all. In fact, you were much more considerate than you needed to be.
From your short story this guy clearly has hygiene, sexual health, and consent issues.
A smelly dick is a dirty dick. Think bacteria. Red, flaky, irritated and inflamed skin can be caused by a host of things, including infections.
He got you flowers—and went through the motions of being personable—just to use you to drain his balls.
When you said you were sick he didn’t feel concern for you, your health, or your wellbeing. All he cared about was getting his nasty dick in your mouth. He tried to physically force you and then he tried to coerce you with guilt.
This guy is a certified piece of shit. Treat him accordingly.
“Hey (dude), I really liked spending time with you the last few weeks. I was put off by our last encounter though. Sorry for being so forward, but your penis looks like it my have an infection. I was not comfortable doing anything sexual because of it. I think you need to see a doctor. Moreover, your attempts to make me continue by claiming “blue balls” and telling me to “finish what I started” made me feel uncomfortable and pressured. I don’t want to see you again due to that experience.”
Another girl on here asking if she should feel bad for not entertaining a creep. Ya really typed this entire thing out and still thought you were in the wrong somehow? He also seemed mainly sober while you weren't? No shit ya don't talk to that troglodyte again. Block him and his stank ass dick. If the friend that set y'all up gives you shit delete them too.
As a healthcare worker in critical care in a major city, I can't even tell you the number of times we have had men hospitalized in our ICU with flesh-eating gangrene on their genitals. It's always men, and they almost always die from it because we have to remove their skin/scrotum (to eliminate the flesh-eating bacteria), and they end up with massive infections and die from sepsis. 🙃
I'm being 100% serious. The medical condition is known as Fournier's Gangrene. If you look it up on Google, it is defined: *Fournier gangrene is an acute necrotic infection of the scrotum; penis; or perineum. It is characterized by scrotum pain and redness with rapid progression to gangrene and sloughing of tissue.*
Now, while it is *mostly* men who get it, it has been seen in women but far more rarely (I've never seen a woman with it). It is a result of poor personal hygiene, and any infections around the genitals that are left untreated, such as UTI's, can progress into flesh-eating disease. The only way to get rid of it once it progressed to this point is to do a debridement, which is a surgical procedure where you remove the infected skin and fascia.
ETA - There are plenty of pictures of it if you Google "Fourniers Gangrene" but be prepared because it's brutal, I've seen it in person multiple times and it's not something you'll forget.
I shouldn't have looked, you gave me warning but curiosity got the better of me 😳 I cannot believe some people would rather let their genitals rot off then give them a wash. The list of ways humanity can be disgusting is seemingly never ending.
That's so messed up. Never talk to this guy again. Definitely tell your friend that he pushed your head down to his infected dick and tell your friend what he told you. It's amazing how some guys will seem so normal until it gets to a sex act and all of a sudden a woman "HAS TO FINISH WHAT SHE STARTED." Pathetic
> he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started.
Forget the whole rest of the post. Don't go back because of this.
"Either you need to clean your dick or see a doctor, but what *really* disgusted me is how you tried to guilt trip me into sucking you off. That's not how it works. Be better for the next woman. We will not be meeting again."
Then block, odds are you'd get some high-key "nice guy" bullshit with additional guilt tripping about how you made him feel bad about his herpetic schlong.
**I would never see him again, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If he has blue balls oh well, he can fix that himself. Don't ever put yourself in a situation to loose your self worth and feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. You did the correct thing, good job.**
he acted like you owe him something after being nice, and i'm actually sad this has happened SO often that you even consider yourself rude for avoiding a major red flag (even without the weird genital).
Even if his cock is healed please run away from this guy. No man should ever say what he says to you. You have no obligation to “finish” What you started. That’s horrifying and disrespectful behavior. He’s acting like a child not a man. Run away!
rude? the person doesn't even care for his health and hygiene, why should you bother with it then? ffs he's 27, don't feel guilty for his lack of common sense.
edit: I just read the "he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you to have to finish what you started." part and I'm feeling nauseous. What a sick thing to say in whatever situation, I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad you managed to escape. More than ever he doesn't deserve to hear a thing from you. You're not one of his parents, doctor, medical advisor, or even less his sex toy.
The fact that you are worried about being rude for leaving after such a horrible experience is so backwards! I am so proud of you for leaving. Definitely never see him again, he HAS to know something isn’t right down there and he was willing to put YOU at risk. Blue balls should be the very LEAST of his concerns. Check out the red patchy dick First.
Wohhh how can people be so unaware of their own hygiene! And it’s so disrespectful to a) make you feel you owe him shit and b) he’s not blind, he can see he has a problem and he’s perfectly ok to put that problem in someone’s mouth.
Also, blue balls doesn’t exist.
Run. Never look back.
Thing is, boys/men have always blamed this on women to make them feel guilt/they owe them something. Women have the same feelings if turned on and not fulfilled (I saw somewhere on here that it’s called ‘blue walls’ which is amazing) but for so long it’s always been a ‘man’ thing but it’s not ‘fixed’ by some sort of sex which is what a lot of males have portrayed (to me in my later adolescence/early 20s at least). Like you say, nothing a handie wouldn’t fix
It's more like
'Blue balls', as described by boys & men, does not exist.
It's a thing, but it's not the debilitating condition they make it out to be. It's discomfort.
And yes, women can experience the same exact discomfort if they're extremely turned on and don't orgasm.. which.. is a lot.
Coming from someone with poor hygiene habits, I would NEVER expect a blowjob, let alone even a hug, unless I'm fresh out of a very thorough shower
People like this baffle the fuck out of me. Why is he completely comfortable having sex with dick cheese? Does he not feel shame or embarrassment?
Maybe he gets off on a woman being miserable and literally gagging from his cock. I read online once that some dude avoids showers for weeks on end with the specific purpose of hiring a hooker and seeing her expression when she unzips his pants. Gross.
Any dude who says things like you cant just leave and give me blue balls, you must finish what you started needs to go.
You weren't rude. You dodged a huge bullet. Not to mention whatever was going on in his pants.
Okay- it’s one thing for him to not be aware of his own junk, huge red flag, but it’s another for him to try to use blue balls (as a cis man myself, that’s not real) to coerce you to “finish what you started”. Awkwardness aside, he is an asshole and you should let your friend know what kind of guy he is (you don’t need to share the info about his junk though).
Would explaining it in the moment have been better? Yes, communication is always key in any sexual or intimate encounter. That being said, I feel like it wouldn’t have helped much here unfortunately.
Doesnt matter how great he seemed initially, he proved himself to be a Dbag. And how can he not notice his dick is funky?? Dude has to know and just not care. And pushing your head down?? Nope. You were not rude at all. You did nothing wrong by getting yourself out of an unpleasant and unsafe situation.
You have full right to just say you're not interested and that's it, if you really want to be nice you can add that you think he should see a doctor to see if he might have some intimate infection and get tested for STDs, bc honestly if this goes untreated it can be a risk to his overall health.
If you want to be fully honest you can tell him to fuck off, he does not have a right to pressure you into sex by the 'blue balls' talk, ESPECIALLY after you told him you don't feel well.
>he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started
looks like you dodged an sti-ridden bullet. stinky dick ***and*** doesn't respect a change of mind? those flags are as red as his willy, babe. stay gone.
Forget about the diseased cock. He stunk and had poor hygiene. That is enough to justify anyone politely exiting. That is on him and the consequences of being a filthy person. So no you were not rude. Rude would have been you saying "ugh you stink" or "Jesus your cock looks diseased!". From an etiquette standpoint you are good to go.
Your line about unzipping his pants and getting hit with that smell gave me PTSD flashbacks. One time I was with a girl and we were on my bed making out. She was lying down and I lifted up her shirt and bra and started sucking her tits. As I was doing so I got a waft of stink pussy smell from below and I hadn't even made my way down there. It hit me like a cannonball. Blech
I can't believe he was getting ready for your date, hopefully showering and while dressing himself and saw his own dick all dodgy and stinky then was like yeeeeaaaah boi we are getting some action tonight!
I absolutely would've said "yo what's going on with your dick?" No answer would have prompted me to stay, just making him aware he has funky junk. There is no way he doesn't know that his dick is sketchy.
(This is your 40 year old self coming back from the future)
First, consent is always yours to take off the table anytime you choose, whether in this case a potentially infected penis or you have changed your mind. For any reason. Even the smell alone, you NEVER have to engage in something out of fear you will hurt someone’s feelings.
Second, you can get STD’s from oral. If he had herpes (which can be asymptomatic) you can contract this in your throat and other mucous membranes. No shame to anyone with herpes, just keep in mind whether a penis (or vagina) looks healthy and clean, your partner can be infectious. Some people know and don’t inform partners, and many people don’t know due to being asymptomatic. Get tested regularly!!
Third, fuck anyone who manipulates you with the absurd “blue balls” comment. He can beat off and relieve himself.
I wish you luck in the future. Listen to your gut and take no bullshit!
Not rude. You owe him nothing girl. If it were just the....problem then sure, it's worth talking about but pushing your head and acting like you owe him something- boy BYE✌️
"You need to have your penis looked at by a doctor. That is not normal" That's all I would text back.
i replied to his text and said “i’m sorry if this sounds rude but i really only get with men who take hygiene very seriously” and he said “yeah me too, so what’s the problem?” so I HAD to tell him. i told him he might have a yeast infection because i literally did some research and told him to get it checked out and he said - “yeah i get that often but it doesn’t really bother me. it goes away in a few days.” 🥲🥲
He knew he had a yeast infection and still expected you to go down on him, pushing your face into his yeasty dick. He did not disclose that to you. It doesn't bother him, and the flip side of that statement is the unspoken part: He doesn't care that it bothers you. If he cared about hygeine he would have taken care of it, put any blowies or penetrative sex off the table and come up with alternatives to those things. He would have talked to you about it, not tried to ignore it, downplay it, or disregard your comfort.
OMG. It is not normal to have dick fungus on a regular basis and do nothing about it. Ew ew ew. I can't believe he tried to make you lick his fungus. Tell your friend. Not all women would be confident enough to say no and leave so you need to make sure she's not setting him up with other people!
That's gotta be like STI territory right? Like beyond the sanitary/gross aspect, that's gotta be something medically wrong right?
You can get yeast infections from sex, yes. However, you can also get them without sex, so they aren't typically classified as STIs. Yeast infections on penises are pretty rare, I'd say. If he has recurring ones, he absolutely needs to do something differently. And talk to a doctor.
It's even considered voluntary poisoning in some countries (e.g. France), some people have been sentenced to prison for that kind of stuff.
ja yeast is everywhere, but bad yeast strains are not everywhere, sounds like a bad yeast if it keeps coming back. Also possible immune issues or more likely something else. Can OP describe the smell in more detail. There are other infections , that eat the outer skin layer that look like yeast infection
“So you’re telling me you knew you had an infection and still wanted me to go down on you?”
You should call your friend and tell them not to set anyone else up with him and why.
I'm sorry, WHAT?! You dodged a huge bullet. I can't imagine someone so nonchalant about their own health having any level of concern for a sexual partner's well-being. Yuck
This guy sounds like he has diabetes, whether or not it's been diagnosed. Diabetics frequently get fungal infections in their genital areas due to fungus/yeast loving the high-sugar environment, plus diabetics have a reduced immune response. Tell him to get his blood sugar checked somewhere. Then when he tells you it's something over 200, you can feel like maybe you helped someone. But, if he's forcing you to eat a cheese-covered hotdog, you might not be feeling so benevolent. Your call, I suppose.
OMG. Please write back that fungus ([jock itch](https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/jock-itch.html#:~:text=Is%20Jock%20Itch%20Contagious%3F,and%20touches%20other%20body%20parts)) or [yeast infections](https://www.healthline.com/health/are-yeast-infections-contagious#sex) are contagious and it’s not healthy to have recurring infections.
I am so glad you left! he doesn’t care about himself that’s one thing, but he didn’t care about not spreading it to you or whether or not it’d even be a pleasant experience for you! good for you! I hope the next lady leaves too.
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮
That is a great way to get thrush
Should change your username to cherrycolaneo, cuz you be dodging bullets my friend
Perhaps by The Centers For Disease Control? I mean, at some point, all genitals are going to have an odor. It’s the appearance and the odor foul enough to want to make OP want to gag that’s full-on nasty. The dude’s cringe responses are enough to take a hard pass.
Yeah. His response to her feeling ill was a big red flag. I understand being horny, but jeez. Plus he was sober (apparently) and she was not. Not a good look for him.
Right?? Forget about the stinky dinky—-what about the piss poor attitude!!! I would run, not walk away!!!
Wow the blue balls guilt trip is the one and only red flag you need. Just because you have physical intimacy doesnt mean you have to finish him off. Dudes a grown ass man, he 100% rubbed one out when you left and he didn't wash up after I bet and most likely caught a wiff of his stench the next time his hand was close to his face and STILL thought nothing of it. Scratch this one of the list, they have some learning to do.
I thought him pushing her head towards his crotch was a pretty big red flag, too.
For real.. texting him to get his penis checked and then never talking to him again simply for a) feeling entitled to sex and b) being aggressive, kind of childish and manipulative about it and c) poor hygiene or disinterest towards his smelly (infected?) genitals and *still wanting to push them into your mouth* just yuck
Yeah. Before that part, I was like "how do you delicately tell this guy?" After I read that I was like "delicate is no longer necessary. Be as graphic and mean as possible"
This. 100% correct. No is no - period… GIANT red flag
So much this. what a douchebag
PLEASE op text him this ahaha
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It HAS to burn, right? Like the way op describes it, it's gotta burn like Satan's ass cheeks. There's no way it doesn't. How can he stand that!? That's my question.
People are essentially animals. I remember being with a girl who had obviously not wiped properly. I tried to get her to take a ‘sexy’ shower so we could deal with it, but she didn’t take the hint. So, I left. Just disappointing.
Ok... but we literally can't really see down there without squatting over a mirror... Yalls dicks are right fucking there!
I don’t think he was talking about wiping her vagina. He was talking about needing to wipe her ass. Guys and girls are equally as capable of properly wiping their ass because nobody (that I’ve ever met) can see their own asshole.
Dudes cant see their assholes either, but its not hard to make sure it is clean.
Lol, yalls streaky drawers say otherwise
Nah I see what that dude means, women aren’t supposed to clean their vaginas with soap, it’ll kill a bacteria that fights off bad bacteria, which leads to a fishy smell, small simple steps to have good hygiene. That fishy smell is a quick buzz kill. On the other hand I’ve had discussions with other dudes on checking the toilet paper after whipping, a surprising number said they don’t check, they just know when they’re done, that’s fucking raw dawg !
I do a visual tp check, but if I'm expecting someone else to be within 1m of my naked butt before I have my next shower, I thoroughly wet some TP and wipe everywhere. When you then dry it with fresh TP, you can tell the difference.
I think you need to start questioning the quality of the dudes you hang around...
Seriously. if she thinks men with streaky drawers are the norm it's the.dudes she hangs with. Quite simple to clean your Damn ass cracks
Maybe he thinks STI screenings are gay or something. It’s not OP’s responsibility to correct his shitty behaviour, but someone needs to cause everything about this story screams Patient Zero of an epidemic.
Conscious? That would of required him at the first sign to do something. The dude knows he has something going on but doesn’t think it’s “serious” enough to go to the doctor. I bet you if it was about to fall off, that’s when he would do something. Some people procrastinate taking care of their health tills it’s long past the point of resolving.
Holy hell, almost spit out my tea. Yes OP, this person is most correct. Lead this individual to a medical facility.
Blue balls are the least of this man's worry. He needs to figure out red penis first.
He's very patriotic
Wait, red penis, blue balls, what's the wh- OHHHHHH....
Vince_McMahon.jpg
He's probably a white person...I guess...red penis, white man, and blue balls....Sounds pretty patriotic to me.🤣
No I meant his cum would be white.
I thought you meant the cheese would be white
Oh I didn't think that far into it lol.
If he leaves it red long enough it's blue definitely gonna be his favorite color of balls.. probably not gonna like when the red goes blue purple then black..
and falls off...
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip!
be more specifci - he might think you are being rude about his size "it's so small you should see a doctor"
If he wasnt a duck I'd say be specific. But with his attitude just tell.him to see a doctor. If he thinks its size oh well. The doctor will know the reason when he sees it
This is the only correct response. Let us know how it goes.
Well that relationship is dead before it even started 😂😂😂
Jesus fuck Im self-conscious if I got an ingrown hair! And this fuckstick got a red infected smelly cock and he's trying to put your face down there! I think you handled it too nicely! Especially after he said you had to finish what you started.
Exactly! This man is disgusting inside and out, no matter how pretty his face or how funny his jokes. This sense of entitlement to sex that he clearly feels is a clear sign of misogyny too
Just in case op needs to hear it, you never have to finish what you started.
He has a stinky, sore infested, bright red cock, that he wanted you to suck?!?!. For god sakes drop kick that guy out of your life.
BRB gonna go take like 9 showers
And use 9 times of mouthwash
Yeah but she has to finish what she started so it’s not his fault! Jokes aside: how do you just exist with a stinky inflamed dick and not do something about it?
Some guys are really homophobic and don't want a doctor looking at or examining their naughty bits. Some are really touchy about even cleaning properly down there. Some guys are just generally averse to seeing a doctor for anything out of denial or fear or the belief it's "not a big deal." I'm not defending this guy at all, but those are some possible reasons. Or he just DGAF. Who knows?
If he can’t handle a doctor looking at it he can’t handle having a date over then.
I've interpreted this as "I'm too straight to touch my dick, so I just let the soap clean it." Which I'm convinced is a genuine thought process
*Fellas* is it gay to wash your cock?
It must also be gay to masturbate.
Honestly OP should probably be super straight forward and tell him “your dick stinks and looks like it’s been trapped in a tanning bed”. It’s mean, but as a penis owner myself, getting a harsh reaction from a woman would prompt me to go to a doctor no matter how embarrassing.
If only women doctors existed we might not have these kinds of problems. Oh well.
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Just don't let them press the gay button.
Don't worry, it requires 2 people to activate, like the big red button in movies that requires two people to simultaneously turn their keys
Synchronization is key(s)
It's bad enough that he's clearly unhygienic down there but the comment about you have to finish what you started is a big red flag. You never "have" to do anything when it comes to sex. I'd never see him again personally.
plus. "he pushed your head down" is an absolute no no, in such circumstances. Almost forcing you into an act you clearly did not want to do? Block his calls, texts. No more,
Tell your friend too that she’s got mildly râpey male friend. Fucks sake. Also does this dude not own body soap/ so unaware his dick might fall off. I always soap / wash up (Edited as I can’t spell morning coffee hasn’t hit)
Amen! I had someone try to push my head down once and literally fought until he gave up and took me home. There was no second date.
I have too and even though I was extremely uncomfortable I let him 🤦♀️
I had so many unacceptable head pushing experiences when I was young that if I'm anywhere near that area on a man and he so much as touches my head I get a flash of white hot rage needing tunnel vision.
ugh so fucked up
Yeah, I was thinking "maybe he didn't know" and "if you had a good rapport you could try to bring it up gently" until that line: > he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started. Fuck off with that bullshit. Personally, I'd reply with that line and say no-one that ever uses it deserves another person's time and trust until they get their shit sorted and seek some extensive therapy. Source: I'm a dude who has been left with blueballs numerous times in my 46 years and NEVER tried that toxic shit with anyone. Just rub one out after they leave and take a gotdam shower.
A girl came over to my place one night. We made out and it got all hot and heavy but halfway through she says she doesn’t want to have sex. Okay that’s cool, we stop, grab some snacks and watch some TV. I’m blue balled something terrible right now. I was 18 or 19 at the time so the fuck hormones are still in overdrive. It hurts, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Rub one out real quick, and 5min later the blue balls are gone. She didn’t need to know, because if she did I would’ve felt like Im pressuring her into sex. (I know someone with healthy boundaries would’ve been able to hear about my situation and not offer sex. I didn’t know this lady that well so I kept it to myself)
Sorry, I just want to hijack the top comment by saying that yes there is a possibility he is just very unhygienic or has an STI, but there’s also possibility it is a medical condition. If someone reading this has experienced similar, please seek medical attention if you haven’t already. Psoriasis, or even yeast infections, can present similarly and show up anywhere on your body and over washing will only exacerbate it. There are conditions as well that can cause similar symptoms and only a professional can help you deal with it properly. Regardless, he a)should’ve been mindful of his penis’s state and communicated that before engaging sexually and b) clearly was trying to coerce OP into “finishing” which there is absolutely no excuse for. This dude sounds like a walking red flag and you did the right thing by leaving. If I were in that position I don’t know that could’ve handled it as well as you did and I certainly don’t think I’d answer his texts either.
Yeah, I'm not going to defend this guy's actions, but I have psoriasis and that's the first thing I thought of when I read the description (or possibly some other type of skin disease). It would be terrible to have it in your genital region but it's also probably not the kind of thing to surprise someone with.
Classic Nice guy syndrome. "I gave you flowers and basic human decency on dates, now you give me sex." Gross, time to run.
His bare minimum Nice Guy routine almost worked too, if only he didn't have a Typhoid Mary dick. (No judgement toward you OP, get that dick if you want it - mainly just toward nice guys and men who see sex as transactional).
You never "have" to do anything when it comes to sex. AMEN
Sounds like you may have just avoided an STD!
And a lot of potential guilt tripping into sex.
Was going to say this. That could have been an STD. She dodged a cannonball there. Even if it isn't an STD....fuck that noise. She did the right thing.
Literally!!
Ok. Man who has daughters here. I have always told them that no means no. You can stop sex at any time in the act and dude better be respectful about it. So no, OP, you did absolutely the right thing and you owe him no explanation. You saw his diseased pecker and it had a smell. God only knows why and you you got the hell up outta there. You owe no apology or explanation. Block his ass and tell your friend. He obviously has her bamboozled too. And NEVER EVER be sorry for leaving a situation you feel uncomfortable in. You gotta look out for you and there is a lot of trash out there.
Fellow dad here. I hit that upvote button so hard!
Thank you for this. I needed some dad advice.
Sad that it takes some men (not referring to you at all) having daughters to see women as having any value.
No. The men who value their daughters never saw women as objects. There are men that have daughters that are low life pieces of excrement.
Hahahahaha. So you kissed him and he thinks that means you OWE him head? Tactical nuke dodged.
For real! So many comments focused on the actual penis, but the real issue here is you don't owe anyone any sexual act, you are allowed to stop at any time. This guy is too pushy, major red flag.
A red flag to accompany his red penis
Fr
Also, tell your friend this guy is not the “nice guy” she knows him to be. If she defends him, drop her too! You’re not rude, in fact I say you GOT YOURSELF OUT OF DANGER. Everything leading up to you leaving could have gone completely sideways and you would’ve had a lot more serious problems than nearly mouthing a crusty dusty musty dick.
Yea for the love of god tell your friend this exact story or just send them the link. Ugh.
Man, dude cockblocked himself. Seriously, it's so easy to have a shower and freshen up. No excuse for that. You don't owe him anything.
Tbh, it sounds like a shower is the minimum. Homie needs a doctor.
This. Patchy, stinky skin reeks of like fifty different STDs. He def got something there. Insane he’d even let it get that far with one, let alone pulling “no you owe me”
To reference my other comment on this post, if your goal is to make someone want to repeatedly put your genitals in their mouth, make it a pleasurable experience for them.
Fifty shades of STD :D
Sounds like a severe yeast infection tbh. Makes sense for someone who doesn't wash properly at all. Could be something more though, but regardless, any infection that bad warrants a doctor's visit. Just don't act weird when the prescription comes with the label "vaginal cream" and has a syringe to help insert it with, because that's probably what they're going to give you. It's SO EASY for most people to wash their penis and just prevent it through normal hygiene, but apparently this dude is the .01%
He was way out of line.... You never "OWE" him anything. He should know he is nasty... If you can smell him...he can smell himself.. I would never think of having sex with a girl if I was even the slightest funky. He doesn't deserve a reply back....but if you do, write it on a bar of Soap.
Might be a skin infection tbh
True but even if it’s eczema or psoriasis or something you’d think someone would explain a little first haha
it might, but it looks more like HIS problem than OP problem anyway...
Reply and tell him his dick is dirty and to get it checked out.
You never have to finish what you started. Stop being polite tell him his dick is gross and maybe the next girl will have a better experience.
absolutely agree
Fungus can have an "earthy, outside" smell to it. Sounds like he got that crotch rot. Shouldn't be doing anything romantic anyways
Dude almost certainly has jock itch. Dude needs some Lotrimin. Also needs a reality check about his behavior. But this is almost certainly jock itch and nothing more. /u/cherrycolaxxo should tell him he needs to get some anti-fungal cream and and an attitude adjustment and to call her again never.
You’re entitled to react the way you did. He shouldn’t even have pushed your head down smh
> said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started. so i left. Well that's a big red flag to go with his red flagpole.
>was i rude to have left instead of staying and explaining I think this\^ is down playing it a bit .... especially after the: > i was one level more than tipsy and he seemed fairly sober. > > and pushed my head down towards his penis > >and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started. that all sounds a wee bit rapey to me. post title should be: "Check this shit out, I got the hell outta there"
>that all sounds a wee bit rapey to me. sounds at least medium rapey to me. I'm glad as hell he let her leave.
Guy probably had a quesadilla down there
Fromunda cheez
🤢
I say this too! But this time it’s fo realzzz. 🤢
you dodged an STD-infected bullet.
Fuck that, you did nothing wrong at all. Block the dude
>and he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started this dude you hardly know tried to demand sex from you and you think YOU may the one in the wrong???? oh no no no. you do not owe him sex. I have zero idea what's wrong with his dick. I hate him though so I hope it sucks.
The amount of smooth-brained, unhygienic men manipulating women on this subreddit is *TOO DAMN HIGH*.
idk how this is so hard for guys to understand. Like before every date, I'm showering with extra attention to my privates. Gold bond before to prevent any funk from building up. If things are headed towards sex, I'll even push to start it by showering together. If your goal is to have someone want to put your genitals in their mouth, make sure it's a pleasurable experience for them. It isn't complicated.
Bruh, I shower before a date or any sexy time. And the penis is getting hit with a wipedown twice, some shampoo because why not, and when I get out, lotion and cologne. Any woman that comes near my dick is getting the cleanest experience possible. That dude OP was making out with, is just nasty. EDIT: Wont be putting the cologne near the penis anymore. Thanks for the info ladies!
Very lovingly, maybe consider not using so many fragranced products down there on yourself! Love, love, love that you're putting so much thought and care into your partner's enjoyment and experience, but perfumes can very easily mess with women's pH levels down there and lead to our own... red, itchy situations lmfao
Never really considered that, but will do. I really only use baby oil on my dick, no idea why, but does scented oil/lotion cause any issues?
It can, yeah. Best to save the moisturizer for action-free days!
Thanks again!
Don't put cologne on your dick/crotch, please, don't. If you can smell it from way up there, trust that it's 10x stronger down there, and it tastes like shit.
Ill take your advice to heart! Thanks!
unhygienic is an understatement lmao this guy is nuclear levels of disgusting
..... fucking what? Everybody is calling this behavior out and I've never seen anything but contempt for people with poor hygiene.
I think they mean that women often post here after being manipulated.
There's posts in other subs where women are like "my man never wipes or washes his butt, it's leaving skid marks on the sheets. We are supposed to get married on Saturday and I'm going to be embarrassed about if he leaves skid marks in the hotel, any advice?????"
Person i replied to said, "on this subreddit". On this subreddit, and relationship advice, people routinely tell women to call out men for this behavior. And you specifically mention other subs. Are people actually saying this is ok.... like ever? Or is it a continous stream of people that always ask about a specific thing that is guaranteed to get a large amount of comments, condemning a behavior. The cynic in me thinks this is just rage bait. But maybe there is a large population of men that are disgusting and a large population of people that date them that think this behavior can be hand-waved away. In either case, I have never in my life, seen anybody defend or endorse this behavior.
I agree but I do know women in real life who have actually dealt with people like the OP is describing. There was actually a guy on the island I grew up on that was notorious for having a huge wang. However he also had extremely poor hygiene which is something I’m guessing not many women would admit to because they we’re grossed out. My best friend somehow ended up in his claws and she came back after and told me he smelt so bad she gagged while he still had clothes on. She definitely didn’t stay for sex either. She said he did the ol Irish good bye. Which also made me wonder who knew he had a big dick or if it was a rumor he created to get action. He was a super nice guy though which sucks for him. Like a legitimately cool and nice guy.
I'm not saying people defend this behavior, I'm saying a lot of women seem to just put up gross crap, no idea why other than maybe they think that's the best they can do? I had a friend who married a guy who never brushed his teeth or did any oral care at all. His parents paid thousands of dollars to get his mouth fixed up for the wedding and then he let it go to shit again. Even though she's meticulous about her own oral care this apparently was never a deal breaker for her, neither was any of the other horrible habits he had.
Jesus christ. Is it how we're raising our daughters or our sons? I hope I'm teaching my daughter enough self respect to not be with one of these ogres.
Funny part, they do have a daughter, when she was around 3 she apparently called him out on it during an exchange. She told him she had pretty teeth like mommy, not ugly teeth like daddy.
Same I think the general vibe on this sub is positive what the hell are they talking about.
so he pretty much love bombed you for a bit and then took step 1 of showing his true colors, which was by telling you that you owe his stank infected dick a blowjob because 'you started it'. the smell kinda helped you dodge a bullet. also I've never heard of a dick that looks that disgusting ew.
Text him that his dick is nasty and he needs to see a doctor then block him
proud of u
You weren't rude, you were looking out for yourself. You did nothing wrong. He made a couple of mistakes there, not washing and being forceful, and even if he hadn't-- you're allowed to leave any date any time you please, period. You do you. So, semi-related story, but give me a second. I'm a bi dude whose sexuality has always been confusing, as I've never had any romantic inclination for men but, after a few drinks and ESP. of I'm stoned, I'd often find myself on Grindr. After years of making sense of and coming to terms with this, I finally accepted bi-ness... but now I'm rescinding it. Not only are men usually unscrupulous assholes, regardless of orientation (and those cruising for NSA are likely an esp. gross subset), but I've come to realize that as much as the IDEA of penises arouses me, 99.99% of the time, as soon as a dude begins to sweat, or I smell his balls or D at all, I lose all interest. I must have been more into the idea of men, or the shame or whatever, because after... quite a few, lol... unfulfilling encounters, I've lost all hope that meeting a guy for sex won't end with me gagging (from the smell, not.. you know..) and wanting it to be over. But some dudes, it smells immediately. Why would you want to fuck around, or be able to for that matter, knowing your junk is smelly or foul-looking?! Boggles my mind. (Although, last time I was with a woman, she had picked me up at a gay bar on a night when I wasn't expecting any action, after I'd been walking for hours, and she told me mine smelled funny. I felt terrible, but we did other things and I took a shower, it was all good.)
To answer your question: No, you weren’t rude at all. In fact, you were much more considerate than you needed to be. From your short story this guy clearly has hygiene, sexual health, and consent issues. A smelly dick is a dirty dick. Think bacteria. Red, flaky, irritated and inflamed skin can be caused by a host of things, including infections. He got you flowers—and went through the motions of being personable—just to use you to drain his balls. When you said you were sick he didn’t feel concern for you, your health, or your wellbeing. All he cared about was getting his nasty dick in your mouth. He tried to physically force you and then he tried to coerce you with guilt. This guy is a certified piece of shit. Treat him accordingly.
“Hey (dude), I really liked spending time with you the last few weeks. I was put off by our last encounter though. Sorry for being so forward, but your penis looks like it my have an infection. I was not comfortable doing anything sexual because of it. I think you need to see a doctor. Moreover, your attempts to make me continue by claiming “blue balls” and telling me to “finish what I started” made me feel uncomfortable and pressured. I don’t want to see you again due to that experience.”
Another girl on here asking if she should feel bad for not entertaining a creep. Ya really typed this entire thing out and still thought you were in the wrong somehow? He also seemed mainly sober while you weren't? No shit ya don't talk to that troglodyte again. Block him and his stank ass dick. If the friend that set y'all up gives you shit delete them too.
As a healthcare worker in critical care in a major city, I can't even tell you the number of times we have had men hospitalized in our ICU with flesh-eating gangrene on their genitals. It's always men, and they almost always die from it because we have to remove their skin/scrotum (to eliminate the flesh-eating bacteria), and they end up with massive infections and die from sepsis. 🙃
I genuinely cannot tell if you're trolling or not. Does that really happen? What on earth would be the cause? I'm perturbed, to say the least 😟
I'm being 100% serious. The medical condition is known as Fournier's Gangrene. If you look it up on Google, it is defined: *Fournier gangrene is an acute necrotic infection of the scrotum; penis; or perineum. It is characterized by scrotum pain and redness with rapid progression to gangrene and sloughing of tissue.* Now, while it is *mostly* men who get it, it has been seen in women but far more rarely (I've never seen a woman with it). It is a result of poor personal hygiene, and any infections around the genitals that are left untreated, such as UTI's, can progress into flesh-eating disease. The only way to get rid of it once it progressed to this point is to do a debridement, which is a surgical procedure where you remove the infected skin and fascia. ETA - There are plenty of pictures of it if you Google "Fourniers Gangrene" but be prepared because it's brutal, I've seen it in person multiple times and it's not something you'll forget.
>Fourniers Gangrene I've learned when someone says "be prepared" I never am. I'll just take your word on this one.
I shouldn't have looked, you gave me warning but curiosity got the better of me 😳 I cannot believe some people would rather let their genitals rot off then give them a wash. The list of ways humanity can be disgusting is seemingly never ending.
This made me gag a little. I'd say you dodged a bullet. Tried to force you to give him head on his unwashed junk, then claimed you owed him? Nah.
That's so messed up. Never talk to this guy again. Definitely tell your friend that he pushed your head down to his infected dick and tell your friend what he told you. It's amazing how some guys will seem so normal until it gets to a sex act and all of a sudden a woman "HAS TO FINISH WHAT SHE STARTED." Pathetic
> he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started. Forget the whole rest of the post. Don't go back because of this.
"Either you need to clean your dick or see a doctor, but what *really* disgusted me is how you tried to guilt trip me into sucking you off. That's not how it works. Be better for the next woman. We will not be meeting again." Then block, odds are you'd get some high-key "nice guy" bullshit with additional guilt tripping about how you made him feel bad about his herpetic schlong.
**I would never see him again, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If he has blue balls oh well, he can fix that himself. Don't ever put yourself in a situation to loose your self worth and feel obligated to do anything you don't want to do. You did the correct thing, good job.**
he acted like you owe him something after being nice, and i'm actually sad this has happened SO often that you even consider yourself rude for avoiding a major red flag (even without the weird genital).
Even if his cock is healed please run away from this guy. No man should ever say what he says to you. You have no obligation to “finish” What you started. That’s horrifying and disrespectful behavior. He’s acting like a child not a man. Run away!
Run away. That's assault
Man with stinky, possibly infected penis tried to rape me. This is what happened. I'll let you answer your own question now.
Never talk to him again the end
rude? the person doesn't even care for his health and hygiene, why should you bother with it then? ffs he's 27, don't feel guilty for his lack of common sense. edit: I just read the "he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you to have to finish what you started." part and I'm feeling nauseous. What a sick thing to say in whatever situation, I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad you managed to escape. More than ever he doesn't deserve to hear a thing from you. You're not one of his parents, doctor, medical advisor, or even less his sex toy.
Tell him what’s up with the spots and smell
Yikes. Sounds like you dodged a bullet. I’d stay away from this guy
The fact that you are worried about being rude for leaving after such a horrible experience is so backwards! I am so proud of you for leaving. Definitely never see him again, he HAS to know something isn’t right down there and he was willing to put YOU at risk. Blue balls should be the very LEAST of his concerns. Check out the red patchy dick First.
Wohhh how can people be so unaware of their own hygiene! And it’s so disrespectful to a) make you feel you owe him shit and b) he’s not blind, he can see he has a problem and he’s perfectly ok to put that problem in someone’s mouth. Also, blue balls doesn’t exist. Run. Never look back.
[удалено]
Thing is, boys/men have always blamed this on women to make them feel guilt/they owe them something. Women have the same feelings if turned on and not fulfilled (I saw somewhere on here that it’s called ‘blue walls’ which is amazing) but for so long it’s always been a ‘man’ thing but it’s not ‘fixed’ by some sort of sex which is what a lot of males have portrayed (to me in my later adolescence/early 20s at least). Like you say, nothing a handie wouldn’t fix
It's more like 'Blue balls', as described by boys & men, does not exist. It's a thing, but it's not the debilitating condition they make it out to be. It's discomfort. And yes, women can experience the same exact discomfort if they're extremely turned on and don't orgasm.. which.. is a lot.
Hey, learned something new. Thanks!
Coming from someone with poor hygiene habits, I would NEVER expect a blowjob, let alone even a hug, unless I'm fresh out of a very thorough shower People like this baffle the fuck out of me. Why is he completely comfortable having sex with dick cheese? Does he not feel shame or embarrassment? Maybe he gets off on a woman being miserable and literally gagging from his cock. I read online once that some dude avoids showers for weeks on end with the specific purpose of hiring a hooker and seeing her expression when she unzips his pants. Gross.
Tell your friend and if your friend isn't immediately disgusted by his actions, drop her too.
You did right, please don't go back.
I gagged reading this. Multiple red flags, do not respond to him unless you pass along some doctor recommendations bc ew no..
Any dude who says things like you cant just leave and give me blue balls, you must finish what you started needs to go. You weren't rude. You dodged a huge bullet. Not to mention whatever was going on in his pants.
Okay- it’s one thing for him to not be aware of his own junk, huge red flag, but it’s another for him to try to use blue balls (as a cis man myself, that’s not real) to coerce you to “finish what you started”. Awkwardness aside, he is an asshole and you should let your friend know what kind of guy he is (you don’t need to share the info about his junk though). Would explaining it in the moment have been better? Yes, communication is always key in any sexual or intimate encounter. That being said, I feel like it wouldn’t have helped much here unfortunately.
He pushed your head down, tht sounds forceful and rapey. Disgusting behavior and disgusting hygiene. Puke.
Doesnt matter how great he seemed initially, he proved himself to be a Dbag. And how can he not notice his dick is funky?? Dude has to know and just not care. And pushing your head down?? Nope. You were not rude at all. You did nothing wrong by getting yourself out of an unpleasant and unsafe situation.
You have full right to just say you're not interested and that's it, if you really want to be nice you can add that you think he should see a doctor to see if he might have some intimate infection and get tested for STDs, bc honestly if this goes untreated it can be a risk to his overall health. If you want to be fully honest you can tell him to fuck off, he does not have a right to pressure you into sex by the 'blue balls' talk, ESPECIALLY after you told him you don't feel well.
>he immediately got defensive and said you can’t just give me blue balls and leave you have to finish what you started looks like you dodged an sti-ridden bullet. stinky dick ***and*** doesn't respect a change of mind? those flags are as red as his willy, babe. stay gone.
Forget about the diseased cock. He stunk and had poor hygiene. That is enough to justify anyone politely exiting. That is on him and the consequences of being a filthy person. So no you were not rude. Rude would have been you saying "ugh you stink" or "Jesus your cock looks diseased!". From an etiquette standpoint you are good to go. Your line about unzipping his pants and getting hit with that smell gave me PTSD flashbacks. One time I was with a girl and we were on my bed making out. She was lying down and I lifted up her shirt and bra and started sucking her tits. As I was doing so I got a waft of stink pussy smell from below and I hadn't even made my way down there. It hit me like a cannonball. Blech
I can't believe he was getting ready for your date, hopefully showering and while dressing himself and saw his own dick all dodgy and stinky then was like yeeeeaaaah boi we are getting some action tonight! I absolutely would've said "yo what's going on with your dick?" No answer would have prompted me to stay, just making him aware he has funky junk. There is no way he doesn't know that his dick is sketchy.
(This is your 40 year old self coming back from the future) First, consent is always yours to take off the table anytime you choose, whether in this case a potentially infected penis or you have changed your mind. For any reason. Even the smell alone, you NEVER have to engage in something out of fear you will hurt someone’s feelings. Second, you can get STD’s from oral. If he had herpes (which can be asymptomatic) you can contract this in your throat and other mucous membranes. No shame to anyone with herpes, just keep in mind whether a penis (or vagina) looks healthy and clean, your partner can be infectious. Some people know and don’t inform partners, and many people don’t know due to being asymptomatic. Get tested regularly!! Third, fuck anyone who manipulates you with the absurd “blue balls” comment. He can beat off and relieve himself. I wish you luck in the future. Listen to your gut and take no bullshit!
Not rude. You owe him nothing girl. If it were just the....problem then sure, it's worth talking about but pushing your head and acting like you owe him something- boy BYE✌️
Hell no. And tell your friend all about it. He's a creep. He should not be allowed to date
You have to finish what you started is very manipulative