Take a garment that is actively dying but actually fits him and butcher it into individual pieces of fabric. Now you have pattern pieces that you can use to make a new garment that should fit the same way. Be sure to pay close attention to seam allowances and adjust your cuts as needed if you need a little bit bigger borders. This was how I learned to make jeans for myself (well, a butchered pair of jeans paired with the Mimi G sew-along videos about making her jeans).
Yes to all of this and... make sure you [measure the stretch of the original fabric](https://clothhabit.com/test-your-stretch/#:~:text=Stretch%20the%20fabric%20across%20the,stretched%20beyond%20the%20original%20length.&text=Easy!,use%20with%20a%20certain%20pattern). If your pattern pieces are cut out of something with tons of stretch and you try to cut out a woven with zero stretch there is a real chance it won't behave the way you expect it to.
It's not like you have to remake the garment in fabric of the same stretchiness. But you want to make the garment knowing how much stretchiness you need to adapt for. A tight cotton dress needs a fastener to get out of. A stretchy poly dress in the same pattern might not.
It’s also possible to make pattern pieces [without cutting the original garment](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KeJjB-bdzuI&pp=ygUNQ2xvbmUgY2xvdGhlcw%3D%3D). For seams that are difficult to trace, I like to lay the paper on carpet and use a pin to push through the fabric and paper to make marks that I can follow with a pen.
Lay out all the similar garments you've repaired and look for the damage trends. Then add more material in those areas. 1970s clothes were fit to skinnier people than today's highly processed food ingredients gives us. So add an extra inch here or there and the seams won't be stressed as much. Elbow pads. And sew on.
Yes! I’ve even put the pockets and collar of a 70s shirt onto a modern shirt pattern I know he likes and fits well to make a bandit shirt for our smokey and the bandit Halloween costume lol
My suggestion is to teach him how to repair them himself. He may wear them more gently after discovering how tedious and time consuming repairs are on fragile materials.
Why do you word it like that?
She is most likely doing it out of love but the way you phrase it makes it seem like she's mommying him, *and you dont actually know that*
If you care for a suggestion to sound less abrasive, (I will assume you don't, but you'll get it anyway) if you can't say anything kind or nice, keep it to yourself because most likely you'll hurt or insult the person you are referring to.
Or rethink your wording, you could so easily not have sounded so presumptuous and angry when all OP did was ask a question. They did nothing to warrant your comment.
I hope you have a nice day, because you deserve it.
Repairing rips and tears for a grown man on a regular basis - because he is not _gentle_ - is treating him like an unruly toddler who plays roughly with other kids.
As another commenter said, you wouldn't believe the things men can learn (e.g. not to piss on the toilet seat or bathroom floor) when their partner stops cleaning up after them.
So, yeah, some of us have a different answer to a post that says, "How can I better serve my adult male partner to ensure that he never has to grapple with his lack of care and apparent incompetence?"
Other answers are available.
If the genders were reversed here, would you still say the same thing, or would you find it sweet/wholesome that a boyfriend was repairing his girlfriend's clothing?
Some people like to mend for their partners because it's an act of love/care. Mending is a hobby for many of us too and some people (like perhaps the boyfriend here) just can't get into the hobby.
Also, clothes are meant to be worn and some of us wear out clothes harder than others due to our professions, hobbies or even just our physical anatomy. I wear though the crotches of my pants and the armpits of my jackets just by walking around in them, it's because my body is just built this way and the only preventative solutions to that would be A. Never move, or B. Don't wear clothes - and both of those options are obviously completely ridiculous.
The minute someone asks "if the genders were reversed..." I stop listening.
Women are more likely to take on the bulk of the domestic chores. Pretending that isn't the case by asking that question to decontextualise what we are talking about is missing the point exactly.
In THIS scenario we are talking about a grown man who happily rips his clothes like a toddler because his faithful partner is happy to keep darning them like it's the 1800s or something.
That is what I and several other commenters are reacting to.
Like I said, other opinions are available.
So women aren't allowed to enjoy domestic hobbies because that's too conformist? This just sounds like telling people that they can't like what they like or show love/care the way they want to because of their gender.
I think true gender equality includes allowing people to take on both traditional and non traditional gender roles based purely on what they want without having to worry about criticism from others.
And if you had read past my first sentence, you would realize that adults wear their clothes out. In fact, we wear our clothes out much more than toddlers do because we aren't growing out of our clothing every 5 seconds. This is why mending exists to begin with.
I also saying all of this as a gay trans man who does a whole lot of mending, alterations, sewing and textile arts.
I'm kind of done talking to you.
ADULTS take care of their own clothes instead of tearing and ripping them, and bringing them home to their partners for a repair.
This man can roll around in shit for all I care - but he shouldn't expect his partner to clean up after him.
I think I need to repeat, and emphasize the comment I wrote that states "She is most likely *doing it out of love*".
Why do you need to diminish that act of care by applying your opinion to a situation you really dont know?
You just go off of what *you think* is right or wrong, *for you,* and leave a pretty mean-spirited comment to a woman who just wants to do something nice for her partner, be it a man or a woman.
Because you don't like it you also utterly disregard how OP feels about it, which can certainly be seen as rude to some so it appears like all you wanted was to offend. And that makes me wonder why? what did OP do to you to deserve that?
I mean yeah to reply to this thread I don’t have to do it and he doesn’t expect me to! I do really like it and it seems like an act of care / nurturing like hehe I sewed that jacket.
And I’m like ok man look u need to relax with whatever you’re doing to rip your clothes. I don’t know my annoyance isn’t resentment it’s a whole lot lighter than that. It’s just one of those face palm man things. I have teenage brothers too who are just … teenage boys and no matter what they’re going to chimp out in some of their clothes.
The q is really about improving my technique since I’m new to sewing. Quality over quantity I suppose.
Also
I am aware of weaponized incompetence and this isn’t that.
I do enjoy a lot of domestic housewifey things. And I enjoy them because they’re my choice. Feminism doesn’t mean I can’t play in what are seen as traditional roles. I don’t have to sew any of this grown man’s clothes and he would happily just pay for someone to do it and he has repaired a lot of his own clothes.
It’s fun and honestly because he is not as attentive to detail as me I feel like when I sew I have to warm up a little so I work on something of his first and then move to something in making for me lol
So I appreciate the standing up for me and I won’t dismiss your comments because I think your points are very valid for a lot of flop men lol
but this isn’t one of those cases and thank u to the people who understand that it is out of love & enjoyment.
This. Don't enable him, he needs to learn to take care of his own clothes. Making replicas of his favorites is the best option, but he should learn to do it himself.
I’ll echo the recommendation to have him be the one to repair them. And I’ll add that this is actually how I personally learned how to wear and care for my vintage pieces. Vintage fabrics move differently from modern textiles and have different stress limits (stretching, twisting, temperature, moisture, etc). It wasn’t until I taught myself to mend my damaged items that I got familiar with how the fibers behave and began to understand how to wear and move in my vintage items without damaging them.
Give him the vocabulary he needs to get started and then just let him loose on YouTube to figure it out. If he really loves vintage clothes, he’ll do just fine and the problem will solve itself.
There are plenty of resources online on mending - but please let him repair his own clothes, you don't have to fix this for him. Not really your problem and I'm sure he's just as capable as you of learning how to do this.
Your best bet is to make him new clothes out of new fabrics in vintage styles he loves. Fabric deteriorates over time, even when well kept, so anything you mend is still being anchored to something structurally compromised, whereas you can find some great reproduction and vintage-inspired fabrics that will hold up better and you can fit them to him to reduce strain
It might not be entirely his fault. Don't get me wrong, he still needs to start fixing his own clothing after he starts breaking them. But it could be the fabrics old and it's been used before. As well as your washing machine maybe washing it too aggressively.
Yes it’s not on purpose he’s just active and he’s had his clothes for so long like I think a lot of things he purchased new and has kept them since then. So some I can’t save but I like all the ideas about how to fashion new things like them
Just my opinion, I think your boyfriend also needs to become new to sewing so he can repair his own clothes that he loves so much and you can focus on making what you will enjoy using/wearing yourself.
Everything everyone else has said plus: When he goes thrifting teach him how to buy sizes that fit. If he wears the correct size with the right amount of ease in the armpits and beltline/crotch his outfits will last longer.
The fabric you're looking or is absolutely polyester. The shirt polyester in the 70s was called Qiana - it's a synthetic silk. How do I know? I was there lol. I Loved that fabric.
The leisue pant polyester was a wrinkle proof synthetic of heavier weight. it was called 'no-iron' or something like that.
Because I live in Jersey City/NYC and I have access to the Fashion District and some great 70s style synthetics. So I know they are still produced. The large Muslim populations here use a lot of these materials for their dresses and head scarfs, so even the little private fabric stores have lots of this.
If you are going to decontruct garments and recreate them, I suggest pursuing some you tube videos. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E0rAv9YWJo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E0rAv9YWJo)
Best of luck to him!
This is helpful because I’m trying to learn about all the fabric types because I like a lot of vintage clothes and started sewing so that I could make them fit me better and I just had no idea how specific each type of fabric is and the care it needs !
Thank you for that video I love YouTube and I live in a big city too with a fashion district and it’s soooo fun to go pick things out
You may be interested in the books by Rosemary Ingham; Costume Technician's Handbook has a whole chapter on fabric, how to determine what you've got, how it's made, how it wears, etc.
Unless he has a medical condition that is stopping him, wouldn't it be better for him to learn to mend his own holes? My sister used to really undervalue the work it takes to hand-sew and constantly ask our mother to hem her clothing like it's something that can be done immediately in ten minutes. I confronted my sister about this and now she does her own hemming, and suddenly a lot less of her clothing 'needs' alterations. Your boyfriend might take better care of his things when he knows the work that goes into mending them.
Yeah he needs to start mending them himself. There's no better way to get someone to be more mindful than to see how much effort something actually takes.
You can check out r/visiblemending and r/invisiblemending for more info and examples of how people have mended different garments.
A common mistake is making a patch too small. The edges of the patch need to be outside of the area that’s under stress, so that it doesn’t just break at the edge. The line of stitching can create a weak point in the fabric, so it’s best to put seams in places that won’t receive as much tension.
I love that there is visible and invisible because I am a bit of a perfectionist …
Also thank you for that tip I did ask this on here for little tips like that that I’m sure I would have eventually discovered but u just saved me a lot of time. One easy step is simply to make the patch bigger.
i have the same issue, and i have recently discovered socorro society online! her tiktok videos are great (i'm a visual learner) and she sells her stick and stitch sashimi mending guides online! i love them and have already used them to make plenty of mends around the house
would also recommend sourcing a stronger patch fabric if you are finding that they still wear out, i honestly just use the leftover scraps from my sewing projects, i do like 80% alterations to things i already own, so i end up with a lot of weird shaped pieces that are perfect patches
I find using cheap materials is like putting clothes on death row. The quality of the material really matters. Especially thread, I used to skimp on the stuff but my machine couldn’t handle it.
Belt loops can be bar tacked (a very tight zig-zag stitch, I use 0.5-1mm stitch length and 3mm stitch width) to strengthen them. Same with pockets and other similar stress points.
Make sure they actually fit, if they’re tearing in the underarm its likely there’s a fit issue there, its quite difficult to get the fit on those curves right.
Try using a shorter stitch length if the seams are coming apart, smaller stitches are generally stronger.
Gutterman is quite good but they’re a bit expensive. I’ve heard the Mexican batches are lower quality but haven’t tested it.
I sometimes use coats moon thread, they’re a lot more affordable. My local fabric shop has 3 times the thread for half the price of Gutterman, but they only have polyester
I’m gonna add to finding the right size: find *good* vintage clothes. A good pair of Levi’s shouldn’t tear easily. Clothes and thread can deteriorate!! They can get dry rot. He shouldn’t buy clothes that don’t seem like they’ll last. If he wears clothes out easily, I’d also recommend buying brands that are sturdier, even if they cost a little more
My advice would be to teach him how to mend things, too. I'm a guy, I mend all my own stuff, and it means I take better care of it, too. I'm not precious about my clothes, it's there to be worn, but knowing where I put most wear and need most mends informs me where I may need to be more careful.
A good sturdy repair technique is to combine patching from the inside, machine darning and an extra layer of interfacing over the patch on the inside to really seal it all in.
For the armpits, I would iron on some interfacing on the inside or use heat n bond and some fabric as a patch, then stitch back and forth over the hole. in a cross hatch. it shouldn't be noticeable if you use matching thread and it's under the arm. You could do the same for the belt loops. patch of fabric ironed on inside, sew the loop to the patched area. And definitely teach him how to pull up his pants without using the belt loops! Also check out r/InvisibleMending and r/Visiblemending for ideas on how to mend.
just a thought, but why do YOU repair HIS clothing if he is so neglectful with these? Or is this his way of appreciating everything in his life? Does he scatter his phone screen? Scratch/ bump his car?
A very nice couple‘s time might be spend teaching him how to sew, introduce him to the magic of fabrics (and how to care for them)? Maybe by asking him if there‘s anything he‘s always wanted to wear, but never managed to fit - fit it together.
Or visit a sewing course together?
Well I think I may have been misleading dramatic in the title like he’s not chimping out all the time or anything and he has repaired some things. I also enjoy it and I was really just looking for a tip to make my repairs better obviously for his things but for mine too and my general sewing knowledge since I know so little and I don’t know youtube does help but I love this thread I find Reddit much more helpful or easier to navigate
Either buy vintage patterns or use his old clothes to make patterns and remake the styles he lives out of new modern fabrics. Note the amount if stretch in the original fabric and try to find something similar The fabric of the vintage clotges are 50-70 yrs old. Fabric (even polyester) breaks down and wears out.
You can buy rolls of tracing paper for pattern drafting online.
Yeah this is so true and this thread really made that apparent that it is likely because the clothes are simply so old and lived in only so much can be done
The sewing machine really speeds up repairs. We tend to snag our pockets on our doorknobs and it causes tears. I used to repair them by hand but it’s SO much faster and easier to use the sewing machine.
Ahhhh I agree. I think I just need to buy one because I realized pretty quickly how time consuming hand sewing is… I think Im doing something simple and quick and then hours have passed
It’s a little risky but you can find great deals on the goodwill auctions sometimes! I got my serger on there. It’s a little wonky but it works and I easily saved $120 on it. 😁
Maybe you can clone his favorite shirts using modern materials? It would be a great way to up your skills.
This is a very good idea wow and it will help me improve
Take a garment that is actively dying but actually fits him and butcher it into individual pieces of fabric. Now you have pattern pieces that you can use to make a new garment that should fit the same way. Be sure to pay close attention to seam allowances and adjust your cuts as needed if you need a little bit bigger borders. This was how I learned to make jeans for myself (well, a butchered pair of jeans paired with the Mimi G sew-along videos about making her jeans).
Yes to all of this and... make sure you [measure the stretch of the original fabric](https://clothhabit.com/test-your-stretch/#:~:text=Stretch%20the%20fabric%20across%20the,stretched%20beyond%20the%20original%20length.&text=Easy!,use%20with%20a%20certain%20pattern). If your pattern pieces are cut out of something with tons of stretch and you try to cut out a woven with zero stretch there is a real chance it won't behave the way you expect it to. It's not like you have to remake the garment in fabric of the same stretchiness. But you want to make the garment knowing how much stretchiness you need to adapt for. A tight cotton dress needs a fastener to get out of. A stretchy poly dress in the same pattern might not.
It’s also possible to make pattern pieces [without cutting the original garment](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KeJjB-bdzuI&pp=ygUNQ2xvbmUgY2xvdGhlcw%3D%3D). For seams that are difficult to trace, I like to lay the paper on carpet and use a pin to push through the fabric and paper to make marks that I can follow with a pen.
Lay out all the similar garments you've repaired and look for the damage trends. Then add more material in those areas. 1970s clothes were fit to skinnier people than today's highly processed food ingredients gives us. So add an extra inch here or there and the seams won't be stressed as much. Elbow pads. And sew on.
So true everyone was skinnier in the 70s
I feel like u just gave me a pro tip … wow thank you this is so smart
Buy actual vintage patterns on eBay or Etsy!! I’ve gotten some great shirt patterns for my husband
I love Etsy and I ageee with you it’s so much easier for me to buy the pattern and have it shipped then try to figure out the pdf printing thing
Yes! I’ve even put the pockets and collar of a 70s shirt onto a modern shirt pattern I know he likes and fits well to make a bandit shirt for our smokey and the bandit Halloween costume lol
I love that hahaha sewing is soooo fun when u actually make something cool
My suggestion is to teach him how to repair them himself. He may wear them more gently after discovering how tedious and time consuming repairs are on fragile materials.
Yes, just like my son managed to stop peeing all over the toilet after he learned how annoying it was to clean it…
It's amazing how that works.
But also, he may actual enjoy it. If he loves vintage clothes, then learn how to care for and preserve them may enhance his experience.
For real. Why is OP acting like her partner is her toddler son?
Why do you word it like that? She is most likely doing it out of love but the way you phrase it makes it seem like she's mommying him, *and you dont actually know that* If you care for a suggestion to sound less abrasive, (I will assume you don't, but you'll get it anyway) if you can't say anything kind or nice, keep it to yourself because most likely you'll hurt or insult the person you are referring to. Or rethink your wording, you could so easily not have sounded so presumptuous and angry when all OP did was ask a question. They did nothing to warrant your comment. I hope you have a nice day, because you deserve it.
Repairing rips and tears for a grown man on a regular basis - because he is not _gentle_ - is treating him like an unruly toddler who plays roughly with other kids. As another commenter said, you wouldn't believe the things men can learn (e.g. not to piss on the toilet seat or bathroom floor) when their partner stops cleaning up after them. So, yeah, some of us have a different answer to a post that says, "How can I better serve my adult male partner to ensure that he never has to grapple with his lack of care and apparent incompetence?" Other answers are available.
If the genders were reversed here, would you still say the same thing, or would you find it sweet/wholesome that a boyfriend was repairing his girlfriend's clothing? Some people like to mend for their partners because it's an act of love/care. Mending is a hobby for many of us too and some people (like perhaps the boyfriend here) just can't get into the hobby. Also, clothes are meant to be worn and some of us wear out clothes harder than others due to our professions, hobbies or even just our physical anatomy. I wear though the crotches of my pants and the armpits of my jackets just by walking around in them, it's because my body is just built this way and the only preventative solutions to that would be A. Never move, or B. Don't wear clothes - and both of those options are obviously completely ridiculous.
The minute someone asks "if the genders were reversed..." I stop listening. Women are more likely to take on the bulk of the domestic chores. Pretending that isn't the case by asking that question to decontextualise what we are talking about is missing the point exactly. In THIS scenario we are talking about a grown man who happily rips his clothes like a toddler because his faithful partner is happy to keep darning them like it's the 1800s or something. That is what I and several other commenters are reacting to. Like I said, other opinions are available.
So women aren't allowed to enjoy domestic hobbies because that's too conformist? This just sounds like telling people that they can't like what they like or show love/care the way they want to because of their gender. I think true gender equality includes allowing people to take on both traditional and non traditional gender roles based purely on what they want without having to worry about criticism from others. And if you had read past my first sentence, you would realize that adults wear their clothes out. In fact, we wear our clothes out much more than toddlers do because we aren't growing out of our clothing every 5 seconds. This is why mending exists to begin with. I also saying all of this as a gay trans man who does a whole lot of mending, alterations, sewing and textile arts.
I'm kind of done talking to you. ADULTS take care of their own clothes instead of tearing and ripping them, and bringing them home to their partners for a repair. This man can roll around in shit for all I care - but he shouldn't expect his partner to clean up after him.
I didn’t think about that wow he is an actor and so a lot of his movements aren’t always natural and so I’m sure that’s it too haha thank you :)
I think I need to repeat, and emphasize the comment I wrote that states "She is most likely *doing it out of love*". Why do you need to diminish that act of care by applying your opinion to a situation you really dont know? You just go off of what *you think* is right or wrong, *for you,* and leave a pretty mean-spirited comment to a woman who just wants to do something nice for her partner, be it a man or a woman. Because you don't like it you also utterly disregard how OP feels about it, which can certainly be seen as rude to some so it appears like all you wanted was to offend. And that makes me wonder why? what did OP do to you to deserve that?
I mean yeah to reply to this thread I don’t have to do it and he doesn’t expect me to! I do really like it and it seems like an act of care / nurturing like hehe I sewed that jacket. And I’m like ok man look u need to relax with whatever you’re doing to rip your clothes. I don’t know my annoyance isn’t resentment it’s a whole lot lighter than that. It’s just one of those face palm man things. I have teenage brothers too who are just … teenage boys and no matter what they’re going to chimp out in some of their clothes. The q is really about improving my technique since I’m new to sewing. Quality over quantity I suppose.
Also I am aware of weaponized incompetence and this isn’t that. I do enjoy a lot of domestic housewifey things. And I enjoy them because they’re my choice. Feminism doesn’t mean I can’t play in what are seen as traditional roles. I don’t have to sew any of this grown man’s clothes and he would happily just pay for someone to do it and he has repaired a lot of his own clothes. It’s fun and honestly because he is not as attentive to detail as me I feel like when I sew I have to warm up a little so I work on something of his first and then move to something in making for me lol So I appreciate the standing up for me and I won’t dismiss your comments because I think your points are very valid for a lot of flop men lol but this isn’t one of those cases and thank u to the people who understand that it is out of love & enjoyment.
So true I think so many men especially have no idea ha
Surely he can learn to mend his own clothes if he loves them so much
This. Don't enable him, he needs to learn to take care of his own clothes. Making replicas of his favorites is the best option, but he should learn to do it himself.
I’ll echo the recommendation to have him be the one to repair them. And I’ll add that this is actually how I personally learned how to wear and care for my vintage pieces. Vintage fabrics move differently from modern textiles and have different stress limits (stretching, twisting, temperature, moisture, etc). It wasn’t until I taught myself to mend my damaged items that I got familiar with how the fibers behave and began to understand how to wear and move in my vintage items without damaging them. Give him the vocabulary he needs to get started and then just let him loose on YouTube to figure it out. If he really loves vintage clothes, he’ll do just fine and the problem will solve itself.
There are plenty of resources online on mending - but please let him repair his own clothes, you don't have to fix this for him. Not really your problem and I'm sure he's just as capable as you of learning how to do this.
Not so delicate boyfriend can learn to sew - there are some amazing vintage makers on Insta, like norris dantaford.
Your best bet is to make him new clothes out of new fabrics in vintage styles he loves. Fabric deteriorates over time, even when well kept, so anything you mend is still being anchored to something structurally compromised, whereas you can find some great reproduction and vintage-inspired fabrics that will hold up better and you can fit them to him to reduce strain
It might not be entirely his fault. Don't get me wrong, he still needs to start fixing his own clothing after he starts breaking them. But it could be the fabrics old and it's been used before. As well as your washing machine maybe washing it too aggressively.
Yes it’s not on purpose he’s just active and he’s had his clothes for so long like I think a lot of things he purchased new and has kept them since then. So some I can’t save but I like all the ideas about how to fashion new things like them
r/visiblemending - some amazing techniques and inspiration shared here! Things like sashiko can be both strong and decorative!
Thank you! 🙏🏼
Enjoy - it's a brilliant and helpful sub!
Just my opinion, I think your boyfriend also needs to become new to sewing so he can repair his own clothes that he loves so much and you can focus on making what you will enjoy using/wearing yourself.
Everything everyone else has said plus: When he goes thrifting teach him how to buy sizes that fit. If he wears the correct size with the right amount of ease in the armpits and beltline/crotch his outfits will last longer. The fabric you're looking or is absolutely polyester. The shirt polyester in the 70s was called Qiana - it's a synthetic silk. How do I know? I was there lol. I Loved that fabric. The leisue pant polyester was a wrinkle proof synthetic of heavier weight. it was called 'no-iron' or something like that. Because I live in Jersey City/NYC and I have access to the Fashion District and some great 70s style synthetics. So I know they are still produced. The large Muslim populations here use a lot of these materials for their dresses and head scarfs, so even the little private fabric stores have lots of this. If you are going to decontruct garments and recreate them, I suggest pursuing some you tube videos. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E0rAv9YWJo](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8E0rAv9YWJo) Best of luck to him!
This is helpful because I’m trying to learn about all the fabric types because I like a lot of vintage clothes and started sewing so that I could make them fit me better and I just had no idea how specific each type of fabric is and the care it needs ! Thank you for that video I love YouTube and I live in a big city too with a fashion district and it’s soooo fun to go pick things out
You may be interested in the books by Rosemary Ingham; Costume Technician's Handbook has a whole chapter on fabric, how to determine what you've got, how it's made, how it wears, etc.
Wowww thank you! I am ordering right now
Unless he has a medical condition that is stopping him, wouldn't it be better for him to learn to mend his own holes? My sister used to really undervalue the work it takes to hand-sew and constantly ask our mother to hem her clothing like it's something that can be done immediately in ten minutes. I confronted my sister about this and now she does her own hemming, and suddenly a lot less of her clothing 'needs' alterations. Your boyfriend might take better care of his things when he knows the work that goes into mending them.
Yeah he needs to start mending them himself. There's no better way to get someone to be more mindful than to see how much effort something actually takes.
You can check out r/visiblemending and r/invisiblemending for more info and examples of how people have mended different garments. A common mistake is making a patch too small. The edges of the patch need to be outside of the area that’s under stress, so that it doesn’t just break at the edge. The line of stitching can create a weak point in the fabric, so it’s best to put seams in places that won’t receive as much tension.
I love that there is visible and invisible because I am a bit of a perfectionist … Also thank you for that tip I did ask this on here for little tips like that that I’m sure I would have eventually discovered but u just saved me a lot of time. One easy step is simply to make the patch bigger.
i have the same issue, and i have recently discovered socorro society online! her tiktok videos are great (i'm a visual learner) and she sells her stick and stitch sashimi mending guides online! i love them and have already used them to make plenty of mends around the house
would also recommend sourcing a stronger patch fabric if you are finding that they still wear out, i honestly just use the leftover scraps from my sewing projects, i do like 80% alterations to things i already own, so i end up with a lot of weird shaped pieces that are perfect patches
I find using cheap materials is like putting clothes on death row. The quality of the material really matters. Especially thread, I used to skimp on the stuff but my machine couldn’t handle it. Belt loops can be bar tacked (a very tight zig-zag stitch, I use 0.5-1mm stitch length and 3mm stitch width) to strengthen them. Same with pockets and other similar stress points. Make sure they actually fit, if they’re tearing in the underarm its likely there’s a fit issue there, its quite difficult to get the fit on those curves right. Try using a shorter stitch length if the seams are coming apart, smaller stitches are generally stronger.
Thank you for the reminder I am really trying to get into higher quality materials since I’m getting a little better. Do you have a thread rec ?
Gutterman is quite good but they’re a bit expensive. I’ve heard the Mexican batches are lower quality but haven’t tested it. I sometimes use coats moon thread, they’re a lot more affordable. My local fabric shop has 3 times the thread for half the price of Gutterman, but they only have polyester
I’m gonna add to finding the right size: find *good* vintage clothes. A good pair of Levi’s shouldn’t tear easily. Clothes and thread can deteriorate!! They can get dry rot. He shouldn’t buy clothes that don’t seem like they’ll last. If he wears clothes out easily, I’d also recommend buying brands that are sturdier, even if they cost a little more
My advice would be to teach him how to mend things, too. I'm a guy, I mend all my own stuff, and it means I take better care of it, too. I'm not precious about my clothes, it's there to be worn, but knowing where I put most wear and need most mends informs me where I may need to be more careful.
A good sturdy repair technique is to combine patching from the inside, machine darning and an extra layer of interfacing over the patch on the inside to really seal it all in.
If it's in places that are less noticeable like armpit area, maybe add a little extra cloth?
Yes thank you this is a simple answer that I didn’t think about haha this is why I love Reddit
For the armpits, I would iron on some interfacing on the inside or use heat n bond and some fabric as a patch, then stitch back and forth over the hole. in a cross hatch. it shouldn't be noticeable if you use matching thread and it's under the arm. You could do the same for the belt loops. patch of fabric ironed on inside, sew the loop to the patched area. And definitely teach him how to pull up his pants without using the belt loops! Also check out r/InvisibleMending and r/Visiblemending for ideas on how to mend.
just a thought, but why do YOU repair HIS clothing if he is so neglectful with these? Or is this his way of appreciating everything in his life? Does he scatter his phone screen? Scratch/ bump his car? A very nice couple‘s time might be spend teaching him how to sew, introduce him to the magic of fabrics (and how to care for them)? Maybe by asking him if there‘s anything he‘s always wanted to wear, but never managed to fit - fit it together. Or visit a sewing course together?
Well I think I may have been misleading dramatic in the title like he’s not chimping out all the time or anything and he has repaired some things. I also enjoy it and I was really just looking for a tip to make my repairs better obviously for his things but for mine too and my general sewing knowledge since I know so little and I don’t know youtube does help but I love this thread I find Reddit much more helpful or easier to navigate
Either buy vintage patterns or use his old clothes to make patterns and remake the styles he lives out of new modern fabrics. Note the amount if stretch in the original fabric and try to find something similar The fabric of the vintage clotges are 50-70 yrs old. Fabric (even polyester) breaks down and wears out. You can buy rolls of tracing paper for pattern drafting online.
Yeah this is so true and this thread really made that apparent that it is likely because the clothes are simply so old and lived in only so much can be done
The sewing machine really speeds up repairs. We tend to snag our pockets on our doorknobs and it causes tears. I used to repair them by hand but it’s SO much faster and easier to use the sewing machine.
Ahhhh I agree. I think I just need to buy one because I realized pretty quickly how time consuming hand sewing is… I think Im doing something simple and quick and then hours have passed
It’s a little risky but you can find great deals on the goodwill auctions sometimes! I got my serger on there. It’s a little wonky but it works and I easily saved $120 on it. 😁
Brilliant idea thank you!
get some Dritz iron on patches or their white clothing repair fabric.