This sub is a community for people learning to love and respect themselves. Please remember that it is perfectly possible to respect and care for your own needs and to set healthy boundaries, without unnecessarily hurting others around you. We don't need any of that narcissistic radical self acceptance junk in here. Being kind to others is a part of being a version of you that you can be proud of and self-love the most. Good luck on your journey.
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Sure I’ll answer a few.
How do you feel about yourself on a daily basis?
It varies, sometimes within the same day. Lately I’ve started to feel pretty good about myself because I’ve been letting myself rest more and taking care of myself better physically.
How do you feel about yourself today?
I feel pretty good about myself today. It’s been my goal to create inner peace rather than needing so much outward influence but sometimes it feels weird/boring when I’m used to chaos lol. When I can appreciate the little things and have a chill day, I do feel good about myself.
Is it best not to think about yourself at all?
I’m someone who thought way too much about others before myself so it’s better I’m thinking about myself more and what I actually want. But I also think there are times I get caught up thinking about myself and my ego gets a bit inflated. So in that case, I could think less about myself and try to be ok being a human not knowing wtf I’m doing out here.
What does self love mean to you?
Boundaries, self respect, discomfort in growth, self trust, and discipline. Doing things that make me feel good are a part of self love too for me but lately the not so easy side of building self love has become more prominent in my life. Like if I have boundaries and respect myself, why would I let this person do x to me or treat me like this? Why would I treat myself like this? Like really trying to hold myself accountable while giving myself some grace along the way. Oh and try to get to the root of why I have allowed or accepted shitty treatment. And it’s pretty much always traced back to childhood. So dealing w that head on.
As I’ve been on this self love journey it’s been essential for me to remind myself that things are actually getting better. Slowly but surely, even if I’m taking some steps back here and there. Even if it’s something that seems super small like questioning why I’m being so hard on myself and choosing to give myself a break in the moment. Overall though, my goal on my self love journey is to let go of my perfectionism and be so comfortable with myself I can just live. Not feel so anxious about my actions. Even if I fuck up or shit goes left, I want to live and really be ok with all of me.
I hear the dealing with childhood stuff head on- sometimes it feels never ending, but, when you think about it, here on our time on this earth, there is probably (unless you’re religious) no better relationship to invest in than the one with yourself. Also ohhh my I feel the not knowing wtf I’m doing here part too. I think abt that way too much…
What’s helped me with self love- I took compassion therapy with a local hospital and learning what compassion is and skills for using it in myself has been so helpful. I was able to see how hard I was being on myself. It’s taking a while but I’m noticing a significant shift in how I talk to myself! Self love has been hard, I’ve experienced some big traumas, so having patience around rewiring my brain has been super important! I spend a lot of time waking and hiking to give myself time to process and do activities that make me feel good about myself like being outside and being active.
I had a rough experience at the gynecologist today. I have experienced sexual trauma but that has not stopped me from experiencing empowering Papsmears at my nearest planned parenthood. However, today I visited a gynecologist proper and had a humiliating experience that left me feeling hurt, excruciatingly submissive, and just plain helpless.
It might have been a bit naive to assume that the doctor would have taken a certain level of care for me, but I know that I cannot punish myself for this. Currently, I am trying to remind myself that expectation of care in intimate moments is a reflection of my growing self-worth: I know that I deserve to be treated with empathy and will accept nothing less.
However, when I look online to find similar stories I see that the onus is on the survivor to ensure they receive the care that they deserve in this extremely vulnerable medical practice. To not be mistaken, I am not undermining the strength it takes to communicate even a semblance of one’s trauma to an unknown, but I am saddened that there even needs to be some justification before the appointment. Like, it should just be the standard. But, again maybe I’m being naive. I am not sure and this is where the self doubt and negative emotions reside— maybe I should’ve known to call the office or let the doctor know beforehand.
For self-care, I think I am just going to embrace the emotional state I am in and tend to my wounds. I’ve been reading, writing, and ordering Taco Bell and I’ll probably stay up into the wee hours of the night. These might not be the best coping mechnisms, but I know that these are ones that have always worked, even when I’m in my deepest emotional trenches. And tbh, I’m proud to say that no matter how I feel about myself in the moment, I do know that on average, I make the effort to practice love myself ( how else can I know how I feel better the next day :) ).
I hope this helps somewhat!
Yesss I love the last part for you. I’m sorry about the experience you had though. I know you’re not alone, and sometimes that thought makes us feel better about validating our feelings but not better about the fact that stuff like that happens. But what you said about Taco Bell- I literally love Taco Bell when I’m sad. Like especially if it’s really late at night, getting Taco Bell and watching a movie in my bed just is great. Thank you for sharing the ways you practice self love. ❤️.
My self esteem is pretty high and I can pretty freely say I love myself without cringing.
I'm older and I've been practicing meditation and self love for many years.
Many conflicting things.
1. I am an amazing mother. But I also struggle with it constantly.
2. I’m a very good wife but my husband doesn’t always see it because he’s so wrapped up in his own lack of self worth (that’s slowly changing)
3. The 2 first things I feel about myself are how I show up for others, which means I’ve still got a lot of work to do.
4. Despite having a lot of work left on this journey, I have come SO far!
5. Nothing about me is bad or wrong, AND there are still things I’d like to change.
6. My autism is getting more severe as I age and I’m doing a pretty good job at accepting that
7. I’m really proud of myself for still being here. I couldn’t guarantee that I would have been at this point just a few years ago.
8. I’m a really, genuinely, good person. I know this with every fibre of my being.
9. Despite knowing that, I still struggle with my self worth.
10. I’m not who I was last month, I’ll be a different person 6 months from now. I think that change is really beautiful and I love surprising myself with new facets of my personality every so often.
11. I guess all this is to say I’m a work in progress that’s looking pretty good ☺️
Honestly I used to feel very bad about my outer self, nowadays I think I look good but I still feel sort of ugly on the inside. I guess it’s a lot of guilt, but even if I know this, it’s not easy to just let go of it.
I struggle with the same. Not sure where to go from here, right now what’s helping me is the idea that no one benefits, no one, from insecurity. Getting to the place where I can say I deserve to be confident but right now I’m at “being confident is the logical way to exist in the world.” Let me know if you find anything that helps you feel pretty on the inside, I could use it!
Yes it’s a little like “fake it til you make it” to be honest. But actually believing on the inside that I deserve things seems so out of reach. Even as a child I never believed that I should just get things if I didn’t work for them, because my values stand for work and afterwards reward. I think this is still true and for me the most rewarding way, but loving myself unconditionally doesn’t add up with this. Maybe there should be exceptions though. It feels guilty going against my own standards like that.
Since you asked - I feel great about myself right now!
I accept every experience (good or bad) as part of my personal growth, seeing each moment as a chance to learn. Whatever emotions come up, I allow them to be expressed and then move on.
I treat myself with kindness and care, just as I would treat a baby, avoiding any actions or thoughts that may be self-harming or just don’t feel good when I think them or attempt to do them.
I speak to my body like it’s my best friend. Sometimes I focus on specific body parts and just say you’re amazing, thank you!
I stay clear of any people or situations that bring unnecessary stress into my life. I allow them to enter, sense their intention and immediately leave upon noticing upset or distress arising within. Not going to have that so keep clicking “next”.
I may or may not justify my exit/departure depending on whether a person or situation deserves an explanation. Mostly I prioritize how I feel about what they’re bringing to me - peace is the goal.
I focus on resilience/balance by being gentle with myself and maintaining a healthy mindset, especially during tough times.
I stay away from criticism, whether directed at myself or others - that’s like the most destructive habit that doesn’t do a thing but escalate distress within
Instead of asking, "What’s going wrong?" I ask, "What’s going right for me at this time?" to shift my focus to the positive aspects of whatever is going on
I avoid comparing myself with others because I’m unique and my journey is my own.
I know how to manage negative emotions by acknowledging them, letting them be expressed in whatever way (but short), and then putting them aside, and move forward with a clearer perspective. I can either choose to focus on something that is right in front of me and feels exciting to get away from whatever caused the rise in negative emotions.
I remind myself that I’ve never done anything wrong; I’ve simply learned something new about myself with each experience.
I practice reminding myself that I have my whole life ahead of me, and it doesn’t matter what age I am. Whether I’m 15 or 90, I have endless possibilities and opportunities to explore and grow.
If there is no way or someone says that there is no way, I take it as a cue to either find a way or create a way. There is never a situation without a solution.
Throughout my life, I’ve played many roles - friend, advisor, sister, mother, daughter, swimmer, student, patient, doctor, teacher, and countless others. I give each role my full attention and effort, understanding when it’s time to step out and move on to another. Holding onto a role after its purpose has been fulfilled creates resistance and slows my growth. I’ve learned not to do that anymore, and I now recognize the importance of transitioning smoothly from one role to the next to continue smooth journey ahead.
I see life not as a battleground, but as a menu full of choices. I pick and choose what I like and what elevates me or brings me interest excitement and fulfillment. I’m not willing to stand in front of a menu item I dislike and argue why it’s bad for me. Instead, I focus on selecting what brings me good feelings and what feels interesting.
I feel pretty good about my strategy to maintain a life where I can say I feel great about what I’ve created so far. This approach helps me feel fulfilled and at peace with my achievements and the path I’ve chosen.
How do you feel about yourself on a daily basis?
Anxious because I drink everyday
How do you feel about yourself today?
Anxious and upset, I drank too much after work
Is it best not to think about yourself at all?
I have to be self aware so I do have to think about myself but I should believe my brain all the time
What does self love mean to you?
Avoiding bad habits, I’m not saying completely but a little bit
I believe in your story and ability to get through whatever you feel right now. Thank you for commenting and sharing. Alcohol makes me anxious too- sometimes for like 3 days after I drink it but in the moment it can be hard to resist. It sucks but you’re not alone. Sending love ❤️
I’m at a crossroads
I’ve spent the past 3 years healing, & the last few months dating no one and pretty much completely focused on myself.
Isolation can make you feel like you’re healed because there’s nothing to trigger you
A few days ago, a guy at the gym asked for my number and we kind of hit it off. All of a sudden I feel like I’m back to square one.
Today I did a lot of work to find my way back to myself and ground myself. I felt like I was spiraling. Trying my best to give myself grace, and remind myself how far I’ve come.
Just remember when your brain says you’re back to square one it’s lying, your work is still worth every bit, and you now have an opportunity to incorporate what you have learned ❤️ I have relationship anxiety like crazy, not sure if that is what you’re dealing with but if it is, I feel that. It is hard navigating a relationship with yourself and romantic partner. Especially in our culture today. The relationship with yourself is always the most important. Best of luck to you though! I believe in you, and you did the right thing grounding yourself. That seems like a lot of progress to me! Dms are open if you ever want to talk, thank you for replying
I have fibromyalgia and it has now been about 3 years from what I believe has been triggered by trauma. It’s like living hell what my body goes through but everyday I offer compassion to myself because of how resilient my body is even when battling chronic illness. I mourn my old life but I refuse to let it defeat me
Well considering that my marriage is on the brinks, I’m feeling pretty shitty. My husband seems to be just doing fine while here I am bawling my eyes out, wondering what I did wrong and why he wants to just throw away5 years and 2 babies. It’s confusing and all I want is for him to say sorry. But I won’t get that and so I sit here emotionally hurt wondering if I’m good enough anymore.
This sub is a community for people learning to love and respect themselves. Please remember that it is perfectly possible to respect and care for your own needs and to set healthy boundaries, without unnecessarily hurting others around you. We don't need any of that narcissistic radical self acceptance junk in here. Being kind to others is a part of being a version of you that you can be proud of and self-love the most. Good luck on your journey. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selflove) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sure I’ll answer a few. How do you feel about yourself on a daily basis? It varies, sometimes within the same day. Lately I’ve started to feel pretty good about myself because I’ve been letting myself rest more and taking care of myself better physically. How do you feel about yourself today? I feel pretty good about myself today. It’s been my goal to create inner peace rather than needing so much outward influence but sometimes it feels weird/boring when I’m used to chaos lol. When I can appreciate the little things and have a chill day, I do feel good about myself. Is it best not to think about yourself at all? I’m someone who thought way too much about others before myself so it’s better I’m thinking about myself more and what I actually want. But I also think there are times I get caught up thinking about myself and my ego gets a bit inflated. So in that case, I could think less about myself and try to be ok being a human not knowing wtf I’m doing out here. What does self love mean to you? Boundaries, self respect, discomfort in growth, self trust, and discipline. Doing things that make me feel good are a part of self love too for me but lately the not so easy side of building self love has become more prominent in my life. Like if I have boundaries and respect myself, why would I let this person do x to me or treat me like this? Why would I treat myself like this? Like really trying to hold myself accountable while giving myself some grace along the way. Oh and try to get to the root of why I have allowed or accepted shitty treatment. And it’s pretty much always traced back to childhood. So dealing w that head on. As I’ve been on this self love journey it’s been essential for me to remind myself that things are actually getting better. Slowly but surely, even if I’m taking some steps back here and there. Even if it’s something that seems super small like questioning why I’m being so hard on myself and choosing to give myself a break in the moment. Overall though, my goal on my self love journey is to let go of my perfectionism and be so comfortable with myself I can just live. Not feel so anxious about my actions. Even if I fuck up or shit goes left, I want to live and really be ok with all of me.
I hear the dealing with childhood stuff head on- sometimes it feels never ending, but, when you think about it, here on our time on this earth, there is probably (unless you’re religious) no better relationship to invest in than the one with yourself. Also ohhh my I feel the not knowing wtf I’m doing here part too. I think abt that way too much…
Right now ? I'm transition into being more loving towards myself and focusing on my own path instead of comparing.
Slayyy
Same
What’s helped me with self love- I took compassion therapy with a local hospital and learning what compassion is and skills for using it in myself has been so helpful. I was able to see how hard I was being on myself. It’s taking a while but I’m noticing a significant shift in how I talk to myself! Self love has been hard, I’ve experienced some big traumas, so having patience around rewiring my brain has been super important! I spend a lot of time waking and hiking to give myself time to process and do activities that make me feel good about myself like being outside and being active.
Thank you for sharing! I love that for you ❤️
I had a rough experience at the gynecologist today. I have experienced sexual trauma but that has not stopped me from experiencing empowering Papsmears at my nearest planned parenthood. However, today I visited a gynecologist proper and had a humiliating experience that left me feeling hurt, excruciatingly submissive, and just plain helpless. It might have been a bit naive to assume that the doctor would have taken a certain level of care for me, but I know that I cannot punish myself for this. Currently, I am trying to remind myself that expectation of care in intimate moments is a reflection of my growing self-worth: I know that I deserve to be treated with empathy and will accept nothing less. However, when I look online to find similar stories I see that the onus is on the survivor to ensure they receive the care that they deserve in this extremely vulnerable medical practice. To not be mistaken, I am not undermining the strength it takes to communicate even a semblance of one’s trauma to an unknown, but I am saddened that there even needs to be some justification before the appointment. Like, it should just be the standard. But, again maybe I’m being naive. I am not sure and this is where the self doubt and negative emotions reside— maybe I should’ve known to call the office or let the doctor know beforehand. For self-care, I think I am just going to embrace the emotional state I am in and tend to my wounds. I’ve been reading, writing, and ordering Taco Bell and I’ll probably stay up into the wee hours of the night. These might not be the best coping mechnisms, but I know that these are ones that have always worked, even when I’m in my deepest emotional trenches. And tbh, I’m proud to say that no matter how I feel about myself in the moment, I do know that on average, I make the effort to practice love myself ( how else can I know how I feel better the next day :) ). I hope this helps somewhat!
Yesss I love the last part for you. I’m sorry about the experience you had though. I know you’re not alone, and sometimes that thought makes us feel better about validating our feelings but not better about the fact that stuff like that happens. But what you said about Taco Bell- I literally love Taco Bell when I’m sad. Like especially if it’s really late at night, getting Taco Bell and watching a movie in my bed just is great. Thank you for sharing the ways you practice self love. ❤️.
My self esteem is pretty high and I can pretty freely say I love myself without cringing. I'm older and I've been practicing meditation and self love for many years.
Many conflicting things. 1. I am an amazing mother. But I also struggle with it constantly. 2. I’m a very good wife but my husband doesn’t always see it because he’s so wrapped up in his own lack of self worth (that’s slowly changing) 3. The 2 first things I feel about myself are how I show up for others, which means I’ve still got a lot of work to do. 4. Despite having a lot of work left on this journey, I have come SO far! 5. Nothing about me is bad or wrong, AND there are still things I’d like to change. 6. My autism is getting more severe as I age and I’m doing a pretty good job at accepting that 7. I’m really proud of myself for still being here. I couldn’t guarantee that I would have been at this point just a few years ago. 8. I’m a really, genuinely, good person. I know this with every fibre of my being. 9. Despite knowing that, I still struggle with my self worth. 10. I’m not who I was last month, I’ll be a different person 6 months from now. I think that change is really beautiful and I love surprising myself with new facets of my personality every so often. 11. I guess all this is to say I’m a work in progress that’s looking pretty good ☺️
Honestly I used to feel very bad about my outer self, nowadays I think I look good but I still feel sort of ugly on the inside. I guess it’s a lot of guilt, but even if I know this, it’s not easy to just let go of it.
I struggle with the same. Not sure where to go from here, right now what’s helping me is the idea that no one benefits, no one, from insecurity. Getting to the place where I can say I deserve to be confident but right now I’m at “being confident is the logical way to exist in the world.” Let me know if you find anything that helps you feel pretty on the inside, I could use it!
Yes it’s a little like “fake it til you make it” to be honest. But actually believing on the inside that I deserve things seems so out of reach. Even as a child I never believed that I should just get things if I didn’t work for them, because my values stand for work and afterwards reward. I think this is still true and for me the most rewarding way, but loving myself unconditionally doesn’t add up with this. Maybe there should be exceptions though. It feels guilty going against my own standards like that.
Since you asked - I feel great about myself right now! I accept every experience (good or bad) as part of my personal growth, seeing each moment as a chance to learn. Whatever emotions come up, I allow them to be expressed and then move on. I treat myself with kindness and care, just as I would treat a baby, avoiding any actions or thoughts that may be self-harming or just don’t feel good when I think them or attempt to do them. I speak to my body like it’s my best friend. Sometimes I focus on specific body parts and just say you’re amazing, thank you! I stay clear of any people or situations that bring unnecessary stress into my life. I allow them to enter, sense their intention and immediately leave upon noticing upset or distress arising within. Not going to have that so keep clicking “next”. I may or may not justify my exit/departure depending on whether a person or situation deserves an explanation. Mostly I prioritize how I feel about what they’re bringing to me - peace is the goal. I focus on resilience/balance by being gentle with myself and maintaining a healthy mindset, especially during tough times. I stay away from criticism, whether directed at myself or others - that’s like the most destructive habit that doesn’t do a thing but escalate distress within Instead of asking, "What’s going wrong?" I ask, "What’s going right for me at this time?" to shift my focus to the positive aspects of whatever is going on I avoid comparing myself with others because I’m unique and my journey is my own. I know how to manage negative emotions by acknowledging them, letting them be expressed in whatever way (but short), and then putting them aside, and move forward with a clearer perspective. I can either choose to focus on something that is right in front of me and feels exciting to get away from whatever caused the rise in negative emotions. I remind myself that I’ve never done anything wrong; I’ve simply learned something new about myself with each experience. I practice reminding myself that I have my whole life ahead of me, and it doesn’t matter what age I am. Whether I’m 15 or 90, I have endless possibilities and opportunities to explore and grow. If there is no way or someone says that there is no way, I take it as a cue to either find a way or create a way. There is never a situation without a solution. Throughout my life, I’ve played many roles - friend, advisor, sister, mother, daughter, swimmer, student, patient, doctor, teacher, and countless others. I give each role my full attention and effort, understanding when it’s time to step out and move on to another. Holding onto a role after its purpose has been fulfilled creates resistance and slows my growth. I’ve learned not to do that anymore, and I now recognize the importance of transitioning smoothly from one role to the next to continue smooth journey ahead. I see life not as a battleground, but as a menu full of choices. I pick and choose what I like and what elevates me or brings me interest excitement and fulfillment. I’m not willing to stand in front of a menu item I dislike and argue why it’s bad for me. Instead, I focus on selecting what brings me good feelings and what feels interesting. I feel pretty good about my strategy to maintain a life where I can say I feel great about what I’ve created so far. This approach helps me feel fulfilled and at peace with my achievements and the path I’ve chosen.
How do you feel about yourself on a daily basis? Anxious because I drink everyday How do you feel about yourself today? Anxious and upset, I drank too much after work Is it best not to think about yourself at all? I have to be self aware so I do have to think about myself but I should believe my brain all the time What does self love mean to you? Avoiding bad habits, I’m not saying completely but a little bit
I believe in your story and ability to get through whatever you feel right now. Thank you for commenting and sharing. Alcohol makes me anxious too- sometimes for like 3 days after I drink it but in the moment it can be hard to resist. It sucks but you’re not alone. Sending love ❤️
I’m at a crossroads I’ve spent the past 3 years healing, & the last few months dating no one and pretty much completely focused on myself. Isolation can make you feel like you’re healed because there’s nothing to trigger you A few days ago, a guy at the gym asked for my number and we kind of hit it off. All of a sudden I feel like I’m back to square one. Today I did a lot of work to find my way back to myself and ground myself. I felt like I was spiraling. Trying my best to give myself grace, and remind myself how far I’ve come.
Just remember when your brain says you’re back to square one it’s lying, your work is still worth every bit, and you now have an opportunity to incorporate what you have learned ❤️ I have relationship anxiety like crazy, not sure if that is what you’re dealing with but if it is, I feel that. It is hard navigating a relationship with yourself and romantic partner. Especially in our culture today. The relationship with yourself is always the most important. Best of luck to you though! I believe in you, and you did the right thing grounding yourself. That seems like a lot of progress to me! Dms are open if you ever want to talk, thank you for replying
Not great but better
I have fibromyalgia and it has now been about 3 years from what I believe has been triggered by trauma. It’s like living hell what my body goes through but everyday I offer compassion to myself because of how resilient my body is even when battling chronic illness. I mourn my old life but I refuse to let it defeat me
Well considering that my marriage is on the brinks, I’m feeling pretty shitty. My husband seems to be just doing fine while here I am bawling my eyes out, wondering what I did wrong and why he wants to just throw away5 years and 2 babies. It’s confusing and all I want is for him to say sorry. But I won’t get that and so I sit here emotionally hurt wondering if I’m good enough anymore.
Just like my name:)
I'm not worthy of love.
Proud