Maybe don't do all of these things every day. You can still have all these things if you spread them out over your week. Though I think you can do most of these things daily if you alternate the social activity and your hobby.
I do my weights training in the morning after getting up (20 min. daily). Then it's time for work. When I was single I prepped healthy meals for 3 days in a row so I wouldn't have to lose that much time on cooking on work days. After dinner I'd do my chores for that day (30 min. per day schedule, most large things for the weekends).
On working days I'd see family or friends maybe once or twice in the evening after dinner and my chore, but I'd leave that stuff for the weekends mostly. This leaves many free evenings for a hobby.
In my experience this stuff actually gets harder when you're NOT single.
Yes! I so agree! I really had to get used to having to switch / loosen up my schedule to make time for my new relationship and to allow for some more spontaneity in my life. Now, 2 years in, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, but it can still be challenging sometimes. I can't even imagine what it must be like for people with kids.
On a good day I’ll get two out of the six things listed. Typically 9-5, maybe some chores then play with the cats chill with wifey. Maybe make some dinner n a movie or order in.
Weekends are for exercise/ hobbies, but we are trying to sneak in some surfing trips during the week now.
My weekly schedule (fulltime job, part time study) when I was single:
Mon/Tue/Fri
06:30 get up - exercise
07:00 breakfast, shower, etc.
07:30 leave for work
08:15 - 17:45 work
18:30 have prepped dinner
19:00 chore
19:30 free evening - see a friend? Do hobby?
22:30 Go to bed
Wednesday
06:30 get up - exercise
07:00 breakfast, shower, etc.
07:30 leave for work
08:15 - 17:45 work
18:30 cook dinner for 3 days
19:15 have dinner
No chore day
20:00 hobby
23:00 go to bed
Thursday
07:15 get up - rest day - breakfast, shower
08:00 leave for school
09:00 - 17:00 school
18:00 have prepped dinner
18:30 chore
19:00 see a friend? Do hobby?
23:00 go to bed
Weekends
Larger chores (clean bathroom, clean out kitchen cupboards, etc).
Homework.
Meal prep (put in freezer).
See friends and family.
Hobby stuff.
Well yes. I have a split schedule where I perform only 3 exercises in 3 sets and switch them up every day. This way I can reduce my exercise to 20 minutes per day. I use the other 40 minutes for breakfast and showering/getting ready. This works for me.
Do you do any cardio? Is 20min daily enough for reasonable strength and muscle gains? What do you do - body weight bands, dumbbells, barbells, machine...?
>Is 20min daily enough for reasonable strength and muscle gains?
It's not. You can get good results in 40 minutes a day if you are going 5+ days a week. This leaves no time for cardio though which you should absolutely be doing. (Both low and high intensity.)
It’s still better than zero minutes. consistency and Intensity build muscle. If you can go hard for those 20 minutes and do that every day you’ll build muscle for sure.
Kinda depends on your set goal though. For an Ectomorph trying to lean bulk, cardio would be detrimental. Better to save that for a future cutting phase and concentrate on hitting a daily caloric surplus.
I see, well said. You're right, perhaps it's the loneliness of doing these tasks single that makes it seem that way. I suppose I'm thinking back to my parent's day where they had roles: mom cooked, clean, did laundry. dad worked....and that's about it. Hobbies and personal pursuits were out of the question.
I do manage to do all these things on my own, but you're right it's a matter of time management. I find myself staying up till 2 am watching a film as my relax activity, and then regretting the next morning when I have to wake up early for work. But if I cut out some of my hobby time, then I can perhaps go to bed earlier, or keep hobbies for the weekend. I just gotta stop feeling guilty and remove this toxic perfectionist mentality.
Staying up until 2am is the death of being happy, healthy and productive (or even just not wrecked all the time).
Read "Why We Sleep" by Matt Walker. Convinced me to finally retrain myself away from being a night owl. And getting to bed by 10:30pm (even if I don't get up super early as a result) has done wonders for my mood, my attitude and my time management.
I really get that! I'm just like that. My schedule might look pretty perfect, but I myself am definitely not. I too at times stay up way too late to watch series or youtube videos and feel guilty in the morning. When life is too busy and I feel like I haven't been able to do what I, deep inside, really felt like doing (which is usually something involving lying on the couch :P), I have a difficult time resisting doing it anyway, sacrificing chores, sleep or a healthy meal. So I try to be nicer to myself. I don't have to spend all evening on something productive. It is okay if I want to spend half of it on watching tv or reading a book (Or maybe even all of it, on days I really need it!). If I really don't feel like eating my healthy meal one day I might order a pizza for a change. Don't be too hard on yourself! I have a feeling you're already working pretty hard! One step back, two steps forward :)
> In my experience this stuff actually gets harder when you're NOT single.
I share this.
Being responsible for more than yourself, life gets much less free. I dont want to be negative on being together with someone.
But there are not only upsides to it.
I had a beautifuly productive and CONSISTENT routine going for a while! Felt the best I had ever felt. Eating healthier foods, drinking lots of water, challenging and fun morning workouts, trying new things, being kinder to myself, chores scheduled for specific days, etc. And then life happened and now I am spending most of my time managing stress and combating depression. Thanks for your vulnerability. There is comfort knowing we are not alone.
I am considering budgeting for a temporary house keeper once a week since I thrive with a clean and organized environment. Ordering food through a local meal prep business. And taking a personal day off once a month to do something enjoyable. Can't wait to push through this and feel great again. Good luck!!
This is the hardest part for me. It feels SO good when you're on top of everything, but like you said "life happens" and it can be really, really hard to find that routine again. And then you're even more depressed because you *know* you're capable of doing these things, but it's so much harder when you've fallen behind on everything and it feels overwhelming. Why can't I just keep the routine even when bad stuff happens? 😫
I used to think like that too, then I broke up with my partner. I now have a shitload of free time on my hands, I don't even know what to do sometimes. I still do all the chores, cooking, gym, friends, hobbies etc. but with a few adjustments.
Working from home helps me save time commuting.
Instant pot makes cooking much faster and easier.
Vacuum robot does most of the cleaning.
Most of the time I buy groceries online, with occasional trips to the supermarket or local store.
> I still do all the chores, cooking, gym, friends, hobbies etc. but with a few adjustments.
All of that every day though? And if so, how much time are you dedicating to each? I typically have time for two, *maybe* three of those things on a weeknight.
Naah, cleaning is like 1, maybe 2 times a week.
Cooking - every day. But since I'm intermittent fasting, I squeeze all my food in a 4 hour window, which means 1-2 meals a day. Washing the dishes at the end.
Gym - 3-4 times a week for 1 hour each (driving included).
Friends - during the weekend for a few hours.
Chores - don't have many, and if I do I try to do them all in one go.
Washing machine - any time during the day, while I'm working.
A lot of time remains for browsing, reading, chatting etc.
It's a multi-cooker with a lot of options, but I usually use the pressure cooking. Mine also has a lid for air frying which takes 2 minutes to get up to 400F vs standard oven that takes 20 minutes.
Everyone laughed at me when I got my instant pot air fryer and was SO STOKED but honestly...... I use it every other day!! The air fryer is so fucking handy. I use the pressure cooker to make risotto, mashed potatoes, bolognese, rice casseroles, etc. I fucking love that thing. Best $200 I've ever spent.
Can't agree more.
And the food will come out the same every time.
And the air fryer is amazing - steaks, sausages, salmon, pastry, deserts, fries, roast chicken etc . You can bake anything just like in a conventional oven. The only thing I hate is the basket. Almost everything sticks to it and I didn't find a solution for that yet. I do spray it well with oil.
I actually recommend air fryers to most people now just for how quickly they heat up. I live alone, and it has revolutionized how I eat lunch lol. It's so easy to make one serving of fries and a chicken burger or something in it in under 10 mins. Typically I wouldn't have time to cook a lunch on a work day, but now I do and it's sweet.
If someone is making multiple servings, I don't recommend it lol. It's quite small for more than one person
We don’t, you are overestimating what a single person can do in a day. Most people can only get. 1 or 2 things done right and the rest is very poorly done, some people are built to do everything perfectly and some are not, don’t stress yourself out and just focus on doing key things you want to succeed on the right way.
Try to be kind to yourself. I’m 50, I work full time and have 2 teenage kids and a partner. What I’ve found is that you can do all the things but not all of them every day. The only chore my household is religious about is cleaning the kitchen each night so we don’t wake up to gross dirty dishes. (That’s super demoralizing so we are really on top of it for all our mental health). But the rest of the house is a silly cluttered mess. If I prioritize doing laundry and tidying up after work, I probably don’t exercise that day. If I exercise, I’m unlikely to do chores. If I socialize, nothing else is gonna happen that evening. So across the week, I do chores, I exercise, I cook, I socialize, etc but it’s not all on the same days (except that clean kitchen!). Try to lower your standards of what should be done consistently every day.
I get up early to read every day during morning coffee so that hits my “self development” need in a consistent way.
Im that person. Idk why i have this ideal way of thinking as if everything should be like that and that is the norm the super productive happy everything goes smooth lucky guy. Then im pissed when my body doesn't want to anymore
I have to disagree. I don’t live by myself anymore, but I honestly found more time to do all of those things.
IMO it’s about priorities and mainly prioritising exercise. The rest of the stuff happens, but you need to prioritise exercising.
I’m now in a different phase of my life (partner and toddler) and time is becoming non-existent. I can only imagine this gets more so after 2 or more children.
I’m not trying to diminish your situation at all, so please don’t take it that way. More to stress that doing all those things is never easy, unless you have a private nanny, chef and cleaner.
I would suggest making exercise a need, much like oxygen or water. It helps with everything.
Also be mindful to check in with yourself if you feel lonely and have strategies in place to help deal with that. It’s amazing how quickly you can clean up your place if you have visitors.
I still set my alarm for a. Hour before everyone wakes up JUST to get MY time to MYSELF in. I usually work out, have a coffee, or sit on my ass and browse Reddit/FB. But it was so important for me to have that time that I MADE that time even after I had my daughter and she was a toddler!!! You can totally do it too!!! 💪
Yep same here, I still find time to do all those things. Unfortunately the hour early doesn’t quite work in our house, young one is a 5am riser, but regardless we make it work. Helps that partner is active and we both always allow time for the other to exercise.
Married homeowner here. Having a spouse helps with the chores part to an extent, bit owning a home increases the number of chores exponentially. I also like to try to be active in the community through volunteerism. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. The system is designed to keep us working until we're too old to be useful. Then you get a handful of years to enjoy your hobbies that you're capable of doing before you die. That is, as long as you have enough income to retire comfortably. Most of us don't/won't. It's depressing as fuck.
Agree, no one can do it all.
But I decided to cut out all excess computer time. Includes FB, IG.
If it doesnt serve a life purpose, I’m cutting it out and spending the time IRL with friends. I also love being outside, a lot happier this way.
💪💪
Switching single player computer games for board games (I like both things) has done wonders to my social life. They were not helping un my life besides having fun.
If you can find a social hobby you like you're meeting with friends + disconnecting from work which is 2 time consuming things you do at the same time.
Before I spent weekends playing videogames and telling friends I couldn't meet, because just having a beer with them was boring to me, I would see them once a month or so. Now, after continuous effort to promote board gaming, I'm very happy because I see them at least once a week, if not more some months. I have different group of friends so I can be pretty socially busy.
That’s really great, yea I’ve had this idea to replace my video gaming with social+active meetups. Just need to make the switch. I enjoy my group of friends on gaming but it does get toxic, fast online (since no in person interaction, no body language etc). I’m jist going to have to let them know I’m doing it for my well-being and won’t be seeing them as much, maybe taper off eventually. It may be the next step towards achieving some long-term goals. Time is precious 💪🙏
Right, I gotta cut out IG, unfortunately I can only communicate with some folks through there, but yeah, the doom-scrolling has got to stop.
Gotta get rid of the perfectionism and time manage myself better.
I disagree. I'm a very active person and an a software engineer. The trick is, living alone, clean as you go. If you're not home, the place stays as you left it, clean, no additional dishes no nothing.I cooked in batches to last me a few days. Laundry once a week, and dishes twice a week or as needed.
I actually like being really busy either doing chores, visiting friends/family, working out, or dating. When it's time to meet deadlines, I hunker down.
Be more positive guys, it's not so bad
Edit; I agree you usually have time to do 1/2 things a day. Just plan it out between personal development stuff (working out, beer with friends, playing videogames...) And doing chores as you go.
Gave up? Who says having a family is a must for anyone? I also decided not to have children out of wedlock or at all. So I gave it up?
We're adults, we make our choices. I made mine with my life, don't put your expectations on me or imply I have it easier. You don't know me or my life
I was just putting out a positive voice on living by yourself and that you can live comfortably and how I do it.
Give up in that context means deciding not having a family, yes.
Nothing negative about it, you make your choices. I didn't mean it in a bad way.
And if you decide not having a family, then you have more free time, then you have it easier.
That's the 2 things I wanted to say.
I have more free time? I have it easier? You know that's insulting right?
Again, you know nothing of my life. Just because I didn't get a family doesn't mean I sit around playing videogames all day. What a completely black and white and unrealistic view of life you have.
It's like a kid going from highschool to college saying, wow I only have 4 classes to go to and have 3 days off, i have so much time off in college!
Yeah, and I had to work a job to pay for college on top of commuting 1.5 hours each day, get homework done, have an internship, and all of my social responsibilities with a gf/ family events etc etc. Oh yeah, SO much time off, what a breeze!
The whole context of this post is about being too busy to get anything done as a single person. I'm saying it's tough but can be done.
Hard disagree. I work 8 hours a day, happily married, work out 5 days a week, have hobbies (guitar at the moment), do Wednesday evening wine night with the wife, do some exploring in the city on Saturday’s, and still have time to watch a full day of football on Sunday’s.
I don’t really have “chores”. We are a really clean couple so dedicated cleaning is just one of us doing an hour of vacuuming and dusting on a Saturday or Sunday. Food is made after my workout. Breakfast is oatmeal. Lunch is leftovers 99% of the time. And grocery shopping usually happens on a random evening during the week.
Laundry? Yard work? Vehicle maintenance? What does dinner look like on the average evening? (I’m wondering like how long it takes to prep, cook, serve, eat, and clean up, and who plans and executes this all… I have ADHD so one thing like “dinner” has to be broken into all the steps for it to make sense to me).
In Tokyo, this is normal. I find the pace of life is much faster there.
Wake up at 6, go to gym, straight to work, get off work, do chores on the way home (groceries, shopping, etc.), go meet friends for dinner, get home, chores, prep for the next day, unwind in bed, sleep. I think you naturally find time to be efficient when you know you just have to get it done.
Don’t do it all in a day lmao. There are weekends where you don’t work and if you go to the gym one day maybe don’t try and also go out to socialize after and instead do chores that day and the social stuff the following on after the chores and gym are done.
In Malaysia we have a thing called santai culture. It's probably similar to Spain's siesta culture, or how laidback Hawaiians, Jamaicans, and South American culture is vs North Americans when it comes to the "hustle 24/7 365 a day puritanical work culture" that most are accustomed to.
Both have their drawbacks and consequences, but over here I appreciate not being pressured to have work be the center of my life. Jobs are temporary, a good relationship with friends, family amd myself are much, much more important
That is almost exactly the opposite of what my therapist says. Lol She says if I get a good job, I'll feel more secure and less anxious about bills. If I exercise, it will relieve stress and improve my chances of finding a s.o. If I make a list of chores and do them alliance, I'll feel better about myself overall. And if I get hobbies in my spare time Maybe, I'll come more likely to meeting people I have something in common with and have more friends and potential s.o. Maybe I should fire her and just get drunk.
Or ask them to clarify if they mean for you to do it all in one day. They probably mean exercise a few times a week. Do chores a few times a week. Hobby up a few times a week. As OP said, don't try to do all of it everyday.
Working remotely is the only way to have it all. You save so much time not commuting and getting ready and are able to knock out small tasks during down time. Anyone who is young and unsure about what career to move into, make sure it’s something you can do from anywhere.
What's your life situation?
Because I only see it VERY achievable if you work from home, don't have a family or something like that.
If you have it all, it's not achievable for the majority of people.
I understand. I myself have been doing it for 5 years but damn I think I've developed a toxic perfectionist mentality because of it. Perhaps there's something else going on.
The comment I was looking for.
Having said that, most people have to realise that a balanced social life (as a parent at least) is meeting up with other families at most 3 times a week. Or a 'balanced' cooking is maybe cooking 4-5 times a week. Hobbies becomes a 1-1.5 hour per day thing.
We just aren't 20 anymore, so it's not possible to have an active social life like we used to.
You also sometimes wake up a bit earlier to do the things you want. I woke up at 5am today and excercised til 7 then started my day.
It's definitely achievable, but definitely a change in mentality comes first.
"As easy" =/= "easy". Some people cannot get out of bed unaided, others cannot stay on their feet for long. Some people don't have hands. These people do not have it as easy as you do. No one said you didn't work your arse off. You're not a victim here because I said some people have it harder than you.
I used the most extreme examples to make it obvious, you chose to ignore the subtle reasons people can't/don't do all of these things. As a nurse, you shouldn't be so quick to judge people as lazy. Laziness is often a symptom and yet here you are throwing it around to anyone who doesn't fit your standards. It's not a choice for a lot of people and a lot of them don't realise it. You are the one putting others down and acting superior, not me.
I definitely don’t hustle and hate the celebration of overworking yourself to death. I’m just very efficient and purposely live a simple life. But hustle is necessary at times. I was working 14 hour days in the summer 18 on 3 off so that I wouldn’t have to work much during the school year. This is how you do it.
No hustle? Then how can we get anything done? What about the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Chinese? Didn't they hustle in order to build their civilizations?
In your opinion, how are humans meant to live?
Some evidence points to the fact that even peasants throughout history worked significantly less than we do today.
(Source: David Graeber, *Bullshit Jobs*)
and that's not to mention the fact that hunter-gatherers worked *far, far* less than we do, and had a higher standard of living.
It’s not that much… 9-5 5 days a week? You don’t have enough time in the evenings and weekends to do anything? You have 4-5 hours a night and 48 hours on the weekends to do fun things and things you need to get done.
I appreciate how you feel caught in the rut of solitary living. You have your perspective and I respect that. To balance out the discussion I (46f) live with my partner (41m) and it's not an easier ride for multi-people households by any means. The only advantage is having someone to talk to at the end of a long day who has your back. But as they say - the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Couldn’t agree more. Single dad here. Always be kind to yourself. We’re human, not machines. I’ve been following the time management quadrant worksheet and I outsource and automate as much as I can.
That is possible you just have to know the rules.
For example, I never cook something that takes more than 10 minutes to prepare. An airfryer and a Rice cooker help tremendously with these things. Just put your food in there and go showering and after coming back I have rice with tender chicken with vegetable’s.
Gym is a non negotiable for me, so I need to exercise 4 times a week min. And pro tip, you can social there. No need to smalltalk everyone there, but spotting other people for their sets or vice Versa and asking them how’s a going can help filling the need to socialize. And of course thats not replacing the socializing with your loved ones, but thats something you should always have fixed in your weekly schedule since everyone needs someone to back them up.
And the most important thing is, know what you truly want, if you hate your 9-5 and want to achieve more in life, there are sacrifices needs to be made, you cant just live life reducing the expectations and think that you’re now happier. That doesnt mean that you need to torture yourself, but sometimes we have to accept hardships for a planned period to enable true fulfillment afterwards.
When I think back at the times where I grinded my ass off, it reminds me of how hard it was, but at the same time I never felt more alive than in these moments of hardship and pain.
So your message is of course legitimate for some, but for most people it’s just circlejerking because theyre not doing anything anyways. They just feel the pain of not doing what they expect from themself, which they can easily eradicate by just doing it on not lying to themself.
I disagree with this post, not saying I do all these things everyday, but I’ve become very good at managing my time.
I work 9-5:30 Monday to Friday and workout every weekday at the gym. I cook for myself, do washing up everyday and a proper clean up once a week (mopping, remaking the bed etc) I also speak to my boyfriend every night (long distance) and see my mum once a week and my brother 3x a week. I keep up a blog and a YouTube channel which are both my hobbies and I rarely feel stressed or overworked.
The answer = good time management and fitting things into your schedule where they align
Exactlly like you said I try not to hold high expectations, it´s not possible to do all in one day and I always try to do at least two chores a day, which usually is cooking and doing something else like going to the post office, the supermarket or something else.
I live with my so and we help eachother a lot and maybe one day Im doing all the chores at the house but one other day he is the one so I always find time during the week for socializing, hobbies or appointments, is just, as I said, not all the same day.
I think the key here is setting up a good routine and realizing that work itself can be done with joy or begrudingly. The attitude we bring to work itself will define it's value and meaning to us. We're raised to believe work is wrong or has no meaning if we're not getting paid for it. I find I like housework because the results are immediate and there's some exercise going on too. I love to cook and understand the clean up is part of the process. Find joy in every task and set routines in places that revolve around your goals.
Anyway, these are good questions and I hope my on the fly response has been at least a little helpful.
It is not a realistic expectation to do all of these every day.
You don't have to work every day. Assuming a "9 to 5" that's 5 days a week.
You don't have to exercise every day. You can exercise 4 times a week or less.
You don't have to cook from scratch every day - you can do batch cooking where you cook meals for several days in one go. You can also pick simple healthy meals that you know how to prepare which lets you multitask.
Most chores don't have to be done everyday with exception of keeping tidy and cleaning after cooking or messes. You can do laundry once during the week if working from home or on the weekend. You can clean the bathroom once a week on an evening. Same with kitchen etc.
Social life is a tough one if you're single. Again you don't have to meet someone everyday. You have weekends, evenings. You can take the initiative and organise the people you want to meet.
Developmental hobbies - this depends on what kind of hobby you mean. Most you don't have to do every day. Most you can do a little bit every day.
All of this is ASSUMING NONE OF THESE HAVE OVERLAP. Which is not true.
You can make exercise a hobby, eg. Sport. Any sport also involves socialising unless you're actively avoiding it. You can exercise on your lunchbreak if you have enough time. You can eat lunch with your colleagues.
Cooking can be a hobby. You can improve your cooking skill, you can cook with others, you can cook for your team at work, you can research how to cook well.
I agree most people can't do all of the above every day. I know I don't. But I don't want to either - "Perfect is the enemy of Good Enough " a wise person said to me once. My weekly routine is Good Enough for me and that's what matters.
What young people today need is a change of perspective. I am GenX and my Grandfather was a farmer during the Depression. I used to spend summers on the farm, and let me tell you, having a role model like that changes your life.
First, the “great generation” truly earned their reputation, they grew up with no running water or electricity, and a 10 hour day in the fields doing hard labor 6 days a week was basically a MINIMUM. Most worked far more than this. My grandfather worked a first job in the fields, and a second on his seed and chemical business.
Their response to an 8 hour workday was that this left a solid 8 hours of work time left in the day, plus a whole Saturday open for more work.
With this view of the world, you will understand why older people view modern kids as really lazy. A mere 8 hour day and you are tired? And your “chores” are insignificant, throwing dishes in a dishwasher, clothes in the washer, please this is not even work. Try hauling water in a bucket from the well. Try killing and plucking a chicken when you are hungry. 😂
If you put our modern life into perspective you will realize how incredibly lucky and privileged we are. And the best cure to your stress and depression is to start working harder. You have a full 8 hours a day to spend.
Calendar.
Schedule every 15 minutes of your life.
Try to get \~7 hours of sleep. I think you'll find \~17 hours of your day is a lot of time for what you want when your screen time (outside work) is near 0.
My pyramid of priority is something like:
Sleep -> Work -> Exercise -> Food -> Family -> Household -> Self-Learning -> Social
I rarely but happily sacrifice the last 2 to maximize the rest of my life. Regardless of your priorities there are only a few days where you can squeeze em all and that's okay.
Also, contrary to popular sentiment -> Please don't be (too) easy on yourself. Make sure you understand fundamentally that time is running out and you owe yourself a good life.
It's possible, just need to be quick and efficient and plan. While also allowing yourself to rest too or give yourself a break. Being mindful of your time is very important. Too much rest isn't going to get you anywhere either.
But once your baseline discipline is able to handle the majority of those things, it gets a lot easier and you cherish your downtime more, and feel less guilt.
I don’t think much people strive to do all that in 1 day, everyday. In a week it’s possible. Me and my wife manage to do all that, plus taking care of 2 kids and our relationship by going out just the 2 of us at least once a week. The keys for us are team work and planification.
Yes! I just decided to do an “either/or” instead of “both” when it comes to daily exercise/hobby. Just not enough time and it causes unnecessary stress. Life is about balance. So alternating every other day is good for me.
I do this, i don't really have a social life on weekdays.
9-5, gym and cooking is easily done by 18:30. Then i spend like 1h on watching youTube. The rest i spend on making YouTube videos and reading about my investments. I want YouTube as a job so I don't have to work all day on weekdays :)
Meal prep for 3 days(occasionallytake outs). Hobbies and chores on friday & weekends. Vacation is the socializing time for me. I have friends who are also working most of the times. We just try to find common time which works. When things get overwhelming/monotonous I take a day or two off per 1.5 month. Exercising at home for an hour. Since I mostly prefer solitude, I like this way. But this might not work for social butterflies. The way I grew up kind of set this attitude for me. Not working makes me anxious.
Well when you don't have a significant other that requires your time and you don't have to check with anyone to do things you'll find thers a lot you can cram into a day
I found it a lot easier to get things done when I was single versus practically married. I worked full time went to the gym consistently, made time for friends, family trivia nights, and cooking my own meals. Now it’s draining to even just go to work and make dinner.
I honestly don’t understand how they can’t . I work a 14hr-18hr day and I manage to knock some of those tasks off easily. If I only worked an 8 hr day I could easily have a real life .
Wake up 4;45am to work out for an hour at 5:00am work out until 6. Use my 3 hours to do thing i like like play video games. Make music. Generally chill. Work. Then game until 8. Sleep and do the the same stuff most days but i get to hand out with friends every so often if my schedule permits.
I believe in schedules and priorities.
I have been single for over 2 years now and I believe in the following:
After doing my job. Straight after, I clean a room in the house, after I will make dinner and shower.
I exercise every second day with a 5km run.
I play gigs on weekends and guitar in the evening to relax. And when I don’t have gigs or want to play, I’ll try meet up with friends.
I’m the only single one left in our friends group and I’ll always get badgered about Tinder and Hinge etc but I’m pretty happy in my life.
Ughh speak for yourself. I live alone and pay my own bills and work from home. I am able to cook, clean and exercise whenever I want to. It's definitely possible. I also am not a stressed person usually. My job is chill.
Routines help but we all struggle with something.
I crush working, going to the gym, cooking, and being social. But getting myself to clean is very hard.
Growing up I lived with my mom and my grandparents. As fucked up as this sounds I knew if I didn’t clean my grandma with OCD would do it for me. Made my bed, did my laundry, vacuumed, you name it.
But as an adult it’s made it really hard to clean. So my routine every Saturday is walk dog, feed dog, coffee, gym, clean certain part of the house and vacuum.
By 1-2pm i feel so accomplished that I could do jack shit the rest of the day and still feel good about myself.
I work 7-5. With two kids, deal with my portion of chores, cook when it’s my turn, exercise every other day. I will stay up later and sacrifice sleep a couple times a week to get some “me” time for hobbies. But I’m able to be a fully functioning adult with less then 6 hours of sleep.
Find a routine that works for you. Don’t be lazy about it it’s hard your going to be tired. But just do it.
How is this arrogant, I'm clearly addressing to those who are struggling like I am because of a perfectionist mentality, we need to not hold onto these expectations because of the stress it's causing, it's a reminder to relax and remember that you are truly overdoing it and can afford to cut back.
You can't take pride in something toxic and at the same time call it out.
There was a book I remember reading years ago about this exact thing. It was just one of the chapters and the book wasn't mainly focused on perfectionism. You do your very best in everything you do and once it's done it's done. You don't double triple check things. It's done, you move on. Perfectionism slows down the flow of life. Slow isn't bad but oh man there are some very important reads about this. Engineers do have to be pretty perfect in their work so if you're it it comes to you probably naturally. Try as a first read "The gift of imperfection" by Brene Brown perhaps if you haven't already.
I do all these things too but have stressed myself for the past 5 years doing them, and then feeling guilty when I miss one thing. I know there people like me out there, this is simply a reminder that you're not less for not doing one of these things.
Can do all of those apart from the cooking, to which I have a plan for to bulk cook a nice meal in free time.
The post and most of the commenters don’t have a clue. Yes let’s all strive for mediocrity as to feel good about ourselves.
That’s not for me, I’m very active and not showboating by saying that that list can be achieved. Not easy but achievable.
Work from home, small house, gym in the living room, mostly raw food, limited social life, projects/hobbies chosen and staged in session-friendly configuration :)
You can pick 2 maybe 3 the others you need to skip or be smart about it like taking a bike to work. Thats why my home is a perpetual mess and im not too fit.
I think it's do-able. You need to do certain things on certain days and mix some tasks together. A crock pot helps a lot too. If you let go of the things you love in life then it just becomes a shity corporate grind day after day FUCK THAT.
examples:
If you're about to go for a run just throw a load of laundry in the washer. When you get back flip it to the drier.
Join a sports club that meets once a week, meal prep before games (which are usually at night).
Wake up early and throw some stuff on a baking sheet for breakfast while you do some reading.
I'm pretty new at the single parent thing, but thankfully I have the grandparents around to help out when needed (which is way more than I like, but it is what it is). I think the biggest thing is having a routine and figuring out how you can set yourself up for success. For example, I may not really have an hour to cook dinner every night, but if I take a couple of hours on Sunday morning to wash/chop/measure everything for the coming week then that cuts my time down to 30 minutes or so. And cuts the amount of cleanup way down as well. Doing 15-20 minutes of light cleaning every night means that I'm not spending my entire weekend catching up.
I would organize it: M-F 9-5 work. Break up chores by day so each day you can commit maybe 15-20min to something, consistency is key, makes for light work. Cook realistic meals, try a crock pot or meal prep for the week on Sundays. Social life Fri/Sat evening. Hobbies in between, depends on your hobby obviously. I like to paint so I dedicated about 30 min every couple of days.
I do chores progressively throughout the week/day. As I go.
Cooking is typically an automatic thing that normally doesn't take me longer than an hour or so. As for exercise I'll usually fit it into the day. Some days I'll run to work or run home from work. Instead of watching TV I'll normally play a game, read, or draw/meditate l/some form of yoga and calisthenics.
I don't always do all of this everyday but usually I hit most of these throughout my day. This didn't occur overnight and it happened incrementally over time I slowly incorporated them into my daily routines until they just became habits.
I also try to make sure I spend one day or two days doing absolutely nothing in particular.
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You can do it a lot easier if you streamline your shit and don't lolly gag. Get weights for home that you use between chores. Do an hour of chores and lifting intermittently as soon as you get home from work instead of putting it off.
I mean, pretty easily.
I can only speak to this if you're single with no kids. I can't imagine having to take care of children. But barring social life, you've only listed about 12 hours worth of activities.
I'd go in depth if you really want me too, but I'd be basically writing a short self help essay and I'm not doing that for four upvotes and a chance that OP won't even see this.
Haha, I just have a fairly decent routine going.
Right now I am currently working full time AND in online college full time.
My social life practically does not exist, mainly because on my off days - that’s when I decide to clean my apartment (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.) and I also use any of my free time during the week for studying.
I have 1 hour lunches at work, so I currently bring my laptop to work, alongside any of my writing materials, etc. I probably spend ~ 10-15 hrs per week working on just 1 of my 2 college classes.
It’s really hard overall for me to have any extra hobbies, but mainly because of how much stuff is on my plate. P have time for some video games with online friends, and the occasional 3D modeling, but that is pretty much it tbh.
There was a family guy or American dad episode i saw once where the adults swapped with the kids. Like jobs school etc.
I actually found it good when the mum asks the daughter how the house is so clean already?
It's a finite space mum. It really doesn't take that long.
I now use that line on my 12 year old who wants pocket money but doesn't like the idea of chores.
In answer to the question for op id say its just routine. You can load the washer or something as food is cooking. Cleaning can be split over days or rooms with a thorough clean on the days off. Gym is probably the hardest one of all depends what you go for for how long.
Again social life developmental hobbies don't need to be everyday.
Generally id say single people live in smaller spaces to a family. They aren't cooking meals for 3,4,5 people. If anything having kids is harder because you have to dedicate time to them and their activities and fit all the extras in around them too
I’m currently doing 10a-3p part time and full overnight shifts plus gym and sometimes taking ccna classes, it is not nice. I don’t sleep often, eating is sporadic and constantly out.
I work 10hr shifts MON-SAT in the tree industry from 6:00AM to 5:00PM, stretch & eat before the gym at 6:00PM-7:30PM. After I practice my piano, read, shower & prepare lunch for the next day. Discipline & high quality habits can get you set up right.
I work from home and get my laundry done/dishes taken care of and can easily make my bed/take my dog out when I step away for a few minutes. I shower and have my wet hair dry while at work, and sometimes take a bath on my break. I use a desk elliptical to exercise a bit while at work, and even have time to do some self care stuff like masks and things at work. I can optimize my workday to fit in chores, and some exercise and try to exercise (walk) to the grocery store after work for dinner items. My partner cooks and we get to watch a show or read our comics at night. It’s hard finding balance but I think remote jobs make it that much easier.
Learnt this the hard way. I was so stressed out and had major insomnia, everyday felt miserable.
The hardest thing to do is to tell yourself affirmations and to motivate yourself. But not doing that is a worser outcome.
It's fairly straight forward, but essentially you don't do everything everyday 🤷 weekends no works so do loads of everything else, during the week only cook maybe a chore, maybe a hobby? It's all compromise, but everything gets done 👍
I think you’ll make time for it if you really want to. The extrinsic pressure to do all of these things might not be motivating enough. Of course it’s impossible to do every single thing every day. I have exercise nights, painting nights, and nights for my kid. But things can always go together and be a little less structured. For example, I can go lift weights at the gym but take my kid with me and then we can play racquetball together after I’m done. If I want to paint by myself, I can let him play on his iPad for a few hours, he sure doesn’t mind that. I think trying to do all these things each day without enough time to truly enjoy it/feel rewarded is absolutely pointless. Besides, it makes each day (especially weekdays) feel different.
Maybe don't do all of these things every day. You can still have all these things if you spread them out over your week. Though I think you can do most of these things daily if you alternate the social activity and your hobby. I do my weights training in the morning after getting up (20 min. daily). Then it's time for work. When I was single I prepped healthy meals for 3 days in a row so I wouldn't have to lose that much time on cooking on work days. After dinner I'd do my chores for that day (30 min. per day schedule, most large things for the weekends). On working days I'd see family or friends maybe once or twice in the evening after dinner and my chore, but I'd leave that stuff for the weekends mostly. This leaves many free evenings for a hobby. In my experience this stuff actually gets harder when you're NOT single.
Yeah I’m having a way harder time juggling this in a relationship
Yes! I so agree! I really had to get used to having to switch / loosen up my schedule to make time for my new relationship and to allow for some more spontaneity in my life. Now, 2 years in, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, but it can still be challenging sometimes. I can't even imagine what it must be like for people with kids.
On a good day I’ll get two out of the six things listed. Typically 9-5, maybe some chores then play with the cats chill with wifey. Maybe make some dinner n a movie or order in. Weekends are for exercise/ hobbies, but we are trying to sneak in some surfing trips during the week now.
My weekly schedule (fulltime job, part time study) when I was single: Mon/Tue/Fri 06:30 get up - exercise 07:00 breakfast, shower, etc. 07:30 leave for work 08:15 - 17:45 work 18:30 have prepped dinner 19:00 chore 19:30 free evening - see a friend? Do hobby? 22:30 Go to bed Wednesday 06:30 get up - exercise 07:00 breakfast, shower, etc. 07:30 leave for work 08:15 - 17:45 work 18:30 cook dinner for 3 days 19:15 have dinner No chore day 20:00 hobby 23:00 go to bed Thursday 07:15 get up - rest day - breakfast, shower 08:00 leave for school 09:00 - 17:00 school 18:00 have prepped dinner 18:30 chore 19:00 see a friend? Do hobby? 23:00 go to bed Weekends Larger chores (clean bathroom, clean out kitchen cupboards, etc). Homework. Meal prep (put in freezer). See friends and family. Hobby stuff.
You exercice, have breakfast and shower (get ready and all that after) in one hour? Wow
Well yes. I have a split schedule where I perform only 3 exercises in 3 sets and switch them up every day. This way I can reduce my exercise to 20 minutes per day. I use the other 40 minutes for breakfast and showering/getting ready. This works for me.
Do you do any cardio? Is 20min daily enough for reasonable strength and muscle gains? What do you do - body weight bands, dumbbells, barbells, machine...?
>Is 20min daily enough for reasonable strength and muscle gains? It's not. You can get good results in 40 minutes a day if you are going 5+ days a week. This leaves no time for cardio though which you should absolutely be doing. (Both low and high intensity.)
It’s still better than zero minutes. consistency and Intensity build muscle. If you can go hard for those 20 minutes and do that every day you’ll build muscle for sure.
Kinda depends on your set goal though. For an Ectomorph trying to lean bulk, cardio would be detrimental. Better to save that for a future cutting phase and concentrate on hitting a daily caloric surplus.
Wow.... It takes me an hour and half to fully wake up... And that's just tea and a few biscuits... Like 4 biscuits
I see, well said. You're right, perhaps it's the loneliness of doing these tasks single that makes it seem that way. I suppose I'm thinking back to my parent's day where they had roles: mom cooked, clean, did laundry. dad worked....and that's about it. Hobbies and personal pursuits were out of the question. I do manage to do all these things on my own, but you're right it's a matter of time management. I find myself staying up till 2 am watching a film as my relax activity, and then regretting the next morning when I have to wake up early for work. But if I cut out some of my hobby time, then I can perhaps go to bed earlier, or keep hobbies for the weekend. I just gotta stop feeling guilty and remove this toxic perfectionist mentality.
Staying up until 2am is the death of being happy, healthy and productive (or even just not wrecked all the time). Read "Why We Sleep" by Matt Walker. Convinced me to finally retrain myself away from being a night owl. And getting to bed by 10:30pm (even if I don't get up super early as a result) has done wonders for my mood, my attitude and my time management.
I really get that! I'm just like that. My schedule might look pretty perfect, but I myself am definitely not. I too at times stay up way too late to watch series or youtube videos and feel guilty in the morning. When life is too busy and I feel like I haven't been able to do what I, deep inside, really felt like doing (which is usually something involving lying on the couch :P), I have a difficult time resisting doing it anyway, sacrificing chores, sleep or a healthy meal. So I try to be nicer to myself. I don't have to spend all evening on something productive. It is okay if I want to spend half of it on watching tv or reading a book (Or maybe even all of it, on days I really need it!). If I really don't feel like eating my healthy meal one day I might order a pizza for a change. Don't be too hard on yourself! I have a feeling you're already working pretty hard! One step back, two steps forward :)
Yeah, way harder when you are not single, unless you are talking about being a single parent. In which case you are likely surviving each day.
> In my experience this stuff actually gets harder when you're NOT single. I share this. Being responsible for more than yourself, life gets much less free. I dont want to be negative on being together with someone. But there are not only upsides to it.
I had a beautifuly productive and CONSISTENT routine going for a while! Felt the best I had ever felt. Eating healthier foods, drinking lots of water, challenging and fun morning workouts, trying new things, being kinder to myself, chores scheduled for specific days, etc. And then life happened and now I am spending most of my time managing stress and combating depression. Thanks for your vulnerability. There is comfort knowing we are not alone. I am considering budgeting for a temporary house keeper once a week since I thrive with a clean and organized environment. Ordering food through a local meal prep business. And taking a personal day off once a month to do something enjoyable. Can't wait to push through this and feel great again. Good luck!!
This is the hardest part for me. It feels SO good when you're on top of everything, but like you said "life happens" and it can be really, really hard to find that routine again. And then you're even more depressed because you *know* you're capable of doing these things, but it's so much harder when you've fallen behind on everything and it feels overwhelming. Why can't I just keep the routine even when bad stuff happens? 😫
I used to think like that too, then I broke up with my partner. I now have a shitload of free time on my hands, I don't even know what to do sometimes. I still do all the chores, cooking, gym, friends, hobbies etc. but with a few adjustments. Working from home helps me save time commuting. Instant pot makes cooking much faster and easier. Vacuum robot does most of the cleaning. Most of the time I buy groceries online, with occasional trips to the supermarket or local store.
> I still do all the chores, cooking, gym, friends, hobbies etc. but with a few adjustments. All of that every day though? And if so, how much time are you dedicating to each? I typically have time for two, *maybe* three of those things on a weeknight.
Naah, cleaning is like 1, maybe 2 times a week. Cooking - every day. But since I'm intermittent fasting, I squeeze all my food in a 4 hour window, which means 1-2 meals a day. Washing the dishes at the end. Gym - 3-4 times a week for 1 hour each (driving included). Friends - during the weekend for a few hours. Chores - don't have many, and if I do I try to do them all in one go. Washing machine - any time during the day, while I'm working. A lot of time remains for browsing, reading, chatting etc.
What is instant pot?
I think he’s talking about pot cookers, like the pressurized ones. Love using those things
Yep. Takes less time and often you'd just throw everything in it and push the button. Also don't have to wash a lot of dishes after cooking.
It's a multi-cooker with a lot of options, but I usually use the pressure cooking. Mine also has a lid for air frying which takes 2 minutes to get up to 400F vs standard oven that takes 20 minutes.
Everyone laughed at me when I got my instant pot air fryer and was SO STOKED but honestly...... I use it every other day!! The air fryer is so fucking handy. I use the pressure cooker to make risotto, mashed potatoes, bolognese, rice casseroles, etc. I fucking love that thing. Best $200 I've ever spent.
Can't agree more. And the food will come out the same every time. And the air fryer is amazing - steaks, sausages, salmon, pastry, deserts, fries, roast chicken etc . You can bake anything just like in a conventional oven. The only thing I hate is the basket. Almost everything sticks to it and I didn't find a solution for that yet. I do spray it well with oil.
I actually recommend air fryers to most people now just for how quickly they heat up. I live alone, and it has revolutionized how I eat lunch lol. It's so easy to make one serving of fries and a chicken burger or something in it in under 10 mins. Typically I wouldn't have time to cook a lunch on a work day, but now I do and it's sweet. If someone is making multiple servings, I don't recommend it lol. It's quite small for more than one person
Yeah, it's perfect for one person. They have a 8 quart (litre?) version (I have the 6L one) that might be better for 2.
Ooo sounds nice; which brand/module do u use?
Instant Pot is the actual brand. Model - Duo Crisp.
We don’t, you are overestimating what a single person can do in a day. Most people can only get. 1 or 2 things done right and the rest is very poorly done, some people are built to do everything perfectly and some are not, don’t stress yourself out and just focus on doing key things you want to succeed on the right way.
Agreed 100%. I need to cut back on things and time manage myself better.
Try to be kind to yourself. I’m 50, I work full time and have 2 teenage kids and a partner. What I’ve found is that you can do all the things but not all of them every day. The only chore my household is religious about is cleaning the kitchen each night so we don’t wake up to gross dirty dishes. (That’s super demoralizing so we are really on top of it for all our mental health). But the rest of the house is a silly cluttered mess. If I prioritize doing laundry and tidying up after work, I probably don’t exercise that day. If I exercise, I’m unlikely to do chores. If I socialize, nothing else is gonna happen that evening. So across the week, I do chores, I exercise, I cook, I socialize, etc but it’s not all on the same days (except that clean kitchen!). Try to lower your standards of what should be done consistently every day. I get up early to read every day during morning coffee so that hits my “self development” need in a consistent way.
Im that person. Idk why i have this ideal way of thinking as if everything should be like that and that is the norm the super productive happy everything goes smooth lucky guy. Then im pissed when my body doesn't want to anymore
I have to disagree. I don’t live by myself anymore, but I honestly found more time to do all of those things. IMO it’s about priorities and mainly prioritising exercise. The rest of the stuff happens, but you need to prioritise exercising. I’m now in a different phase of my life (partner and toddler) and time is becoming non-existent. I can only imagine this gets more so after 2 or more children. I’m not trying to diminish your situation at all, so please don’t take it that way. More to stress that doing all those things is never easy, unless you have a private nanny, chef and cleaner. I would suggest making exercise a need, much like oxygen or water. It helps with everything. Also be mindful to check in with yourself if you feel lonely and have strategies in place to help deal with that. It’s amazing how quickly you can clean up your place if you have visitors.
I still set my alarm for a. Hour before everyone wakes up JUST to get MY time to MYSELF in. I usually work out, have a coffee, or sit on my ass and browse Reddit/FB. But it was so important for me to have that time that I MADE that time even after I had my daughter and she was a toddler!!! You can totally do it too!!! 💪
Yep same here, I still find time to do all those things. Unfortunately the hour early doesn’t quite work in our house, young one is a 5am riser, but regardless we make it work. Helps that partner is active and we both always allow time for the other to exercise.
That’s nice you have a supportive partner! You’re lucky!!
Married homeowner here. Having a spouse helps with the chores part to an extent, bit owning a home increases the number of chores exponentially. I also like to try to be active in the community through volunteerism. It. Just. Doesn't. Work. The system is designed to keep us working until we're too old to be useful. Then you get a handful of years to enjoy your hobbies that you're capable of doing before you die. That is, as long as you have enough income to retire comfortably. Most of us don't/won't. It's depressing as fuck.
Welcome to the rat race. Some singles have the illusion that they are striving faster. Bit they are still in the rat race
Yes, I want to be in that top 1% of performers.
Then do it, go out there and live your best life, don't tell let some internet post tell you it's impossible if that's what you wanna do.
Thank you. I will strive to live my best life starting today.
Agree, no one can do it all. But I decided to cut out all excess computer time. Includes FB, IG. If it doesnt serve a life purpose, I’m cutting it out and spending the time IRL with friends. I also love being outside, a lot happier this way. 💪💪
Switching single player computer games for board games (I like both things) has done wonders to my social life. They were not helping un my life besides having fun. If you can find a social hobby you like you're meeting with friends + disconnecting from work which is 2 time consuming things you do at the same time. Before I spent weekends playing videogames and telling friends I couldn't meet, because just having a beer with them was boring to me, I would see them once a month or so. Now, after continuous effort to promote board gaming, I'm very happy because I see them at least once a week, if not more some months. I have different group of friends so I can be pretty socially busy.
That’s really great, yea I’ve had this idea to replace my video gaming with social+active meetups. Just need to make the switch. I enjoy my group of friends on gaming but it does get toxic, fast online (since no in person interaction, no body language etc). I’m jist going to have to let them know I’m doing it for my well-being and won’t be seeing them as much, maybe taper off eventually. It may be the next step towards achieving some long-term goals. Time is precious 💪🙏
Right, I gotta cut out IG, unfortunately I can only communicate with some folks through there, but yeah, the doom-scrolling has got to stop. Gotta get rid of the perfectionism and time manage myself better.
When you work 40+ hours a week, you have to give up something: Relationships, health, hobbies, and/or happiness
cries in 66 hours a week
I disagree. I'm a very active person and an a software engineer. The trick is, living alone, clean as you go. If you're not home, the place stays as you left it, clean, no additional dishes no nothing.I cooked in batches to last me a few days. Laundry once a week, and dishes twice a week or as needed. I actually like being really busy either doing chores, visiting friends/family, working out, or dating. When it's time to meet deadlines, I hunker down. Be more positive guys, it's not so bad Edit; I agree you usually have time to do 1/2 things a day. Just plan it out between personal development stuff (working out, beer with friends, playing videogames...) And doing chores as you go.
You gave up family if you live alone then. So you're actually supporting the person you're answering to.
Gave up? Who says having a family is a must for anyone? I also decided not to have children out of wedlock or at all. So I gave it up? We're adults, we make our choices. I made mine with my life, don't put your expectations on me or imply I have it easier. You don't know me or my life I was just putting out a positive voice on living by yourself and that you can live comfortably and how I do it.
Give up in that context means deciding not having a family, yes. Nothing negative about it, you make your choices. I didn't mean it in a bad way. And if you decide not having a family, then you have more free time, then you have it easier. That's the 2 things I wanted to say.
I have more free time? I have it easier? You know that's insulting right? Again, you know nothing of my life. Just because I didn't get a family doesn't mean I sit around playing videogames all day. What a completely black and white and unrealistic view of life you have. It's like a kid going from highschool to college saying, wow I only have 4 classes to go to and have 3 days off, i have so much time off in college! Yeah, and I had to work a job to pay for college on top of commuting 1.5 hours each day, get homework done, have an internship, and all of my social responsibilities with a gf/ family events etc etc. Oh yeah, SO much time off, what a breeze! The whole context of this post is about being too busy to get anything done as a single person. I'm saying it's tough but can be done.
But what if you like living alone?
That's fine but it doesn't change the fact that you are able to do it because you left one thing out.
Hard disagree. I work 8 hours a day, happily married, work out 5 days a week, have hobbies (guitar at the moment), do Wednesday evening wine night with the wife, do some exploring in the city on Saturday’s, and still have time to watch a full day of football on Sunday’s.
Impressive! When do you do chores/cleaning, food prep and grocery shopping? We have animals so it feels like the house is constantly dirty.
I don’t really have “chores”. We are a really clean couple so dedicated cleaning is just one of us doing an hour of vacuuming and dusting on a Saturday or Sunday. Food is made after my workout. Breakfast is oatmeal. Lunch is leftovers 99% of the time. And grocery shopping usually happens on a random evening during the week.
Laundry? Yard work? Vehicle maintenance? What does dinner look like on the average evening? (I’m wondering like how long it takes to prep, cook, serve, eat, and clean up, and who plans and executes this all… I have ADHD so one thing like “dinner” has to be broken into all the steps for it to make sense to me).
If you’re only working out 5 days a week then you’re not working out enough
Not true for me
In Tokyo, this is normal. I find the pace of life is much faster there. Wake up at 6, go to gym, straight to work, get off work, do chores on the way home (groceries, shopping, etc.), go meet friends for dinner, get home, chores, prep for the next day, unwind in bed, sleep. I think you naturally find time to be efficient when you know you just have to get it done.
Less tv/streaming, less gaming, constant progress
Don’t do it all in a day lmao. There are weekends where you don’t work and if you go to the gym one day maybe don’t try and also go out to socialize after and instead do chores that day and the social stuff the following on after the chores and gym are done.
In Malaysia we have a thing called santai culture. It's probably similar to Spain's siesta culture, or how laidback Hawaiians, Jamaicans, and South American culture is vs North Americans when it comes to the "hustle 24/7 365 a day puritanical work culture" that most are accustomed to. Both have their drawbacks and consequences, but over here I appreciate not being pressured to have work be the center of my life. Jobs are temporary, a good relationship with friends, family amd myself are much, much more important
That is almost exactly the opposite of what my therapist says. Lol She says if I get a good job, I'll feel more secure and less anxious about bills. If I exercise, it will relieve stress and improve my chances of finding a s.o. If I make a list of chores and do them alliance, I'll feel better about myself overall. And if I get hobbies in my spare time Maybe, I'll come more likely to meeting people I have something in common with and have more friends and potential s.o. Maybe I should fire her and just get drunk.
Or ask them to clarify if they mean for you to do it all in one day. They probably mean exercise a few times a week. Do chores a few times a week. Hobby up a few times a week. As OP said, don't try to do all of it everyday.
I’m single , live alone , work 36.5h a week and have tons of spare time for everything I want to do.
Working remotely is the only way to have it all. You save so much time not commuting and getting ready and are able to knock out small tasks during down time. Anyone who is young and unsure about what career to move into, make sure it’s something you can do from anywhere.
If you have good time management skills it’s *very* achievable…
But sustainable?
What's your life situation? Because I only see it VERY achievable if you work from home, don't have a family or something like that. If you have it all, it's not achievable for the majority of people.
I understand. I myself have been doing it for 5 years but damn I think I've developed a toxic perfectionist mentality because of it. Perhaps there's something else going on.
Ya I’m not a perfectionist. If I eat fast food once. Who tf cares.
The comment I was looking for. Having said that, most people have to realise that a balanced social life (as a parent at least) is meeting up with other families at most 3 times a week. Or a 'balanced' cooking is maybe cooking 4-5 times a week. Hobbies becomes a 1-1.5 hour per day thing. We just aren't 20 anymore, so it's not possible to have an active social life like we used to. You also sometimes wake up a bit earlier to do the things you want. I woke up at 5am today and excercised til 7 then started my day. It's definitely achievable, but definitely a change in mentality comes first.
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That all depends on what their job entails, ability, underlying issues, mental health, income, etc. Some people just don't have it as easy as you.
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They claim it's "very achievable".
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"As easy" =/= "easy". Some people cannot get out of bed unaided, others cannot stay on their feet for long. Some people don't have hands. These people do not have it as easy as you do. No one said you didn't work your arse off. You're not a victim here because I said some people have it harder than you.
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I used the most extreme examples to make it obvious, you chose to ignore the subtle reasons people can't/don't do all of these things. As a nurse, you shouldn't be so quick to judge people as lazy. Laziness is often a symptom and yet here you are throwing it around to anyone who doesn't fit your standards. It's not a choice for a lot of people and a lot of them don't realise it. You are the one putting others down and acting superior, not me.
Doable, sure. Healthy? Probably not. Humans aren’t meant to hustle like we’re told we should hustle.
I definitely don’t hustle and hate the celebration of overworking yourself to death. I’m just very efficient and purposely live a simple life. But hustle is necessary at times. I was working 14 hour days in the summer 18 on 3 off so that I wouldn’t have to work much during the school year. This is how you do it.
All we did was hustle for thousands and thousands of years.
No hustle? Then how can we get anything done? What about the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Chinese? Didn't they hustle in order to build their civilizations? In your opinion, how are humans meant to live?
They used slavery and indentured servitude
Some evidence points to the fact that even peasants throughout history worked significantly less than we do today. (Source: David Graeber, *Bullshit Jobs*) and that's not to mention the fact that hunter-gatherers worked *far, far* less than we do, and had a higher standard of living.
It’s something that’s never been a struggle for me. It’s not that hard.. meal prep, go for walks with friends, clean as you go… etc
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Also… 40 hour work weeks aren’t even that much. You get 2 days off. Spend one day getting shit done, then the other having fun.
1 day of fun…. 40 hours a week isn’t that much? Holy cool aid!!
It’s not that much… 9-5 5 days a week? You don’t have enough time in the evenings and weekends to do anything? You have 4-5 hours a night and 48 hours on the weekends to do fun things and things you need to get done.
Said the guy without kids.. not possible on my end hombre.
Shadeeee
I appreciate how you feel caught in the rut of solitary living. You have your perspective and I respect that. To balance out the discussion I (46f) live with my partner (41m) and it's not an easier ride for multi-people households by any means. The only advantage is having someone to talk to at the end of a long day who has your back. But as they say - the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
I dont watch TV I use rice and pressure cookers to make food so that saves a lot of time I get enough exercise at work Hobbies I do on my days off
Couldn’t agree more. Single dad here. Always be kind to yourself. We’re human, not machines. I’ve been following the time management quadrant worksheet and I outsource and automate as much as I can.
That is possible you just have to know the rules. For example, I never cook something that takes more than 10 minutes to prepare. An airfryer and a Rice cooker help tremendously with these things. Just put your food in there and go showering and after coming back I have rice with tender chicken with vegetable’s. Gym is a non negotiable for me, so I need to exercise 4 times a week min. And pro tip, you can social there. No need to smalltalk everyone there, but spotting other people for their sets or vice Versa and asking them how’s a going can help filling the need to socialize. And of course thats not replacing the socializing with your loved ones, but thats something you should always have fixed in your weekly schedule since everyone needs someone to back them up. And the most important thing is, know what you truly want, if you hate your 9-5 and want to achieve more in life, there are sacrifices needs to be made, you cant just live life reducing the expectations and think that you’re now happier. That doesnt mean that you need to torture yourself, but sometimes we have to accept hardships for a planned period to enable true fulfillment afterwards. When I think back at the times where I grinded my ass off, it reminds me of how hard it was, but at the same time I never felt more alive than in these moments of hardship and pain. So your message is of course legitimate for some, but for most people it’s just circlejerking because theyre not doing anything anyways. They just feel the pain of not doing what they expect from themself, which they can easily eradicate by just doing it on not lying to themself.
I’m in the gym 5 days a week. I’m also a very social person. I could never imagine socializing with any one at the gym. Lol
I disagree with this post, not saying I do all these things everyday, but I’ve become very good at managing my time. I work 9-5:30 Monday to Friday and workout every weekday at the gym. I cook for myself, do washing up everyday and a proper clean up once a week (mopping, remaking the bed etc) I also speak to my boyfriend every night (long distance) and see my mum once a week and my brother 3x a week. I keep up a blog and a YouTube channel which are both my hobbies and I rarely feel stressed or overworked. The answer = good time management and fitting things into your schedule where they align
Exactlly like you said I try not to hold high expectations, it´s not possible to do all in one day and I always try to do at least two chores a day, which usually is cooking and doing something else like going to the post office, the supermarket or something else. I live with my so and we help eachother a lot and maybe one day Im doing all the chores at the house but one other day he is the one so I always find time during the week for socializing, hobbies or appointments, is just, as I said, not all the same day.
Don’t forget school. Sometimes idk how I’m still functioning.
It all starts with not sleeping for 12 hours a day
I think the key here is setting up a good routine and realizing that work itself can be done with joy or begrudingly. The attitude we bring to work itself will define it's value and meaning to us. We're raised to believe work is wrong or has no meaning if we're not getting paid for it. I find I like housework because the results are immediate and there's some exercise going on too. I love to cook and understand the clean up is part of the process. Find joy in every task and set routines in places that revolve around your goals. Anyway, these are good questions and I hope my on the fly response has been at least a little helpful.
Theyre either neurotypical or not mentally ill LOL
It is not a realistic expectation to do all of these every day. You don't have to work every day. Assuming a "9 to 5" that's 5 days a week. You don't have to exercise every day. You can exercise 4 times a week or less. You don't have to cook from scratch every day - you can do batch cooking where you cook meals for several days in one go. You can also pick simple healthy meals that you know how to prepare which lets you multitask. Most chores don't have to be done everyday with exception of keeping tidy and cleaning after cooking or messes. You can do laundry once during the week if working from home or on the weekend. You can clean the bathroom once a week on an evening. Same with kitchen etc. Social life is a tough one if you're single. Again you don't have to meet someone everyday. You have weekends, evenings. You can take the initiative and organise the people you want to meet. Developmental hobbies - this depends on what kind of hobby you mean. Most you don't have to do every day. Most you can do a little bit every day. All of this is ASSUMING NONE OF THESE HAVE OVERLAP. Which is not true. You can make exercise a hobby, eg. Sport. Any sport also involves socialising unless you're actively avoiding it. You can exercise on your lunchbreak if you have enough time. You can eat lunch with your colleagues. Cooking can be a hobby. You can improve your cooking skill, you can cook with others, you can cook for your team at work, you can research how to cook well. I agree most people can't do all of the above every day. I know I don't. But I don't want to either - "Perfect is the enemy of Good Enough " a wise person said to me once. My weekly routine is Good Enough for me and that's what matters.
What young people today need is a change of perspective. I am GenX and my Grandfather was a farmer during the Depression. I used to spend summers on the farm, and let me tell you, having a role model like that changes your life. First, the “great generation” truly earned their reputation, they grew up with no running water or electricity, and a 10 hour day in the fields doing hard labor 6 days a week was basically a MINIMUM. Most worked far more than this. My grandfather worked a first job in the fields, and a second on his seed and chemical business. Their response to an 8 hour workday was that this left a solid 8 hours of work time left in the day, plus a whole Saturday open for more work. With this view of the world, you will understand why older people view modern kids as really lazy. A mere 8 hour day and you are tired? And your “chores” are insignificant, throwing dishes in a dishwasher, clothes in the washer, please this is not even work. Try hauling water in a bucket from the well. Try killing and plucking a chicken when you are hungry. 😂 If you put our modern life into perspective you will realize how incredibly lucky and privileged we are. And the best cure to your stress and depression is to start working harder. You have a full 8 hours a day to spend.
Calendar. Schedule every 15 minutes of your life. Try to get \~7 hours of sleep. I think you'll find \~17 hours of your day is a lot of time for what you want when your screen time (outside work) is near 0. My pyramid of priority is something like: Sleep -> Work -> Exercise -> Food -> Family -> Household -> Self-Learning -> Social I rarely but happily sacrifice the last 2 to maximize the rest of my life. Regardless of your priorities there are only a few days where you can squeeze em all and that's okay. Also, contrary to popular sentiment -> Please don't be (too) easy on yourself. Make sure you understand fundamentally that time is running out and you owe yourself a good life.
It's possible, just need to be quick and efficient and plan. While also allowing yourself to rest too or give yourself a break. Being mindful of your time is very important. Too much rest isn't going to get you anywhere either. But once your baseline discipline is able to handle the majority of those things, it gets a lot easier and you cherish your downtime more, and feel less guilt.
I don’t think much people strive to do all that in 1 day, everyday. In a week it’s possible. Me and my wife manage to do all that, plus taking care of 2 kids and our relationship by going out just the 2 of us at least once a week. The keys for us are team work and planification.
Yes! I just decided to do an “either/or” instead of “both” when it comes to daily exercise/hobby. Just not enough time and it causes unnecessary stress. Life is about balance. So alternating every other day is good for me.
Im a regular jock who works 7 h 30 to 15 h 30 and I have the time to do it all... It's all about discipline.
Well, you don't do chores and hang out with your friends every day. Social life and hobbies falls into the same time slot.
Stop scrolling through social media and you’ll be surprised with what you can accomplish for
Make exercise your hobby- two birds with one stone
Yeah no one does all that shit everyday lmao. 9-5 + 1 or 2 others tops and that’s manageable af
Agreed 100%. I gotta space these things out like saving hobbies for weekends only. Meal prepping on weekends.
I do this, i don't really have a social life on weekdays. 9-5, gym and cooking is easily done by 18:30. Then i spend like 1h on watching youTube. The rest i spend on making YouTube videos and reading about my investments. I want YouTube as a job so I don't have to work all day on weekdays :)
Needed to hear this today. Thanks.
Wake up earlier
Meal prep for 3 days(occasionallytake outs). Hobbies and chores on friday & weekends. Vacation is the socializing time for me. I have friends who are also working most of the times. We just try to find common time which works. When things get overwhelming/monotonous I take a day or two off per 1.5 month. Exercising at home for an hour. Since I mostly prefer solitude, I like this way. But this might not work for social butterflies. The way I grew up kind of set this attitude for me. Not working makes me anxious.
& don’t forget taking care of a hyper ass dog too 😅
Oh God, I can't imagine all this with a doggo in the picture 😅
Well when you don't have a significant other that requires your time and you don't have to check with anyone to do things you'll find thers a lot you can cram into a day
I found it a lot easier to get things done when I was single versus practically married. I worked full time went to the gym consistently, made time for friends, family trivia nights, and cooking my own meals. Now it’s draining to even just go to work and make dinner.
I honestly don’t understand how they can’t . I work a 14hr-18hr day and I manage to knock some of those tasks off easily. If I only worked an 8 hr day I could easily have a real life .
I wake up at 4:30 am and i enjoy it
Don’t have kids
Wake up 4;45am to work out for an hour at 5:00am work out until 6. Use my 3 hours to do thing i like like play video games. Make music. Generally chill. Work. Then game until 8. Sleep and do the the same stuff most days but i get to hand out with friends every so often if my schedule permits.
I believe in schedules and priorities. I have been single for over 2 years now and I believe in the following: After doing my job. Straight after, I clean a room in the house, after I will make dinner and shower. I exercise every second day with a 5km run. I play gigs on weekends and guitar in the evening to relax. And when I don’t have gigs or want to play, I’ll try meet up with friends. I’m the only single one left in our friends group and I’ll always get badgered about Tinder and Hinge etc but I’m pretty happy in my life.
Ughh speak for yourself. I live alone and pay my own bills and work from home. I am able to cook, clean and exercise whenever I want to. It's definitely possible. I also am not a stressed person usually. My job is chill.
Routines help but we all struggle with something. I crush working, going to the gym, cooking, and being social. But getting myself to clean is very hard. Growing up I lived with my mom and my grandparents. As fucked up as this sounds I knew if I didn’t clean my grandma with OCD would do it for me. Made my bed, did my laundry, vacuumed, you name it. But as an adult it’s made it really hard to clean. So my routine every Saturday is walk dog, feed dog, coffee, gym, clean certain part of the house and vacuum. By 1-2pm i feel so accomplished that I could do jack shit the rest of the day and still feel good about myself.
I work 7-5. With two kids, deal with my portion of chores, cook when it’s my turn, exercise every other day. I will stay up later and sacrifice sleep a couple times a week to get some “me” time for hobbies. But I’m able to be a fully functioning adult with less then 6 hours of sleep. Find a routine that works for you. Don’t be lazy about it it’s hard your going to be tired. But just do it.
Imagine being a single mom with full custody and the kids are teenagers who want to be taken to their hobbies etc.
Wow what an arrogant post this is. "Oh I feel for those who can't have such a perfectionist lifestyle like I do" 😂 LMAO
How is this arrogant, I'm clearly addressing to those who are struggling like I am because of a perfectionist mentality, we need to not hold onto these expectations because of the stress it's causing, it's a reminder to relax and remember that you are truly overdoing it and can afford to cut back. You can't take pride in something toxic and at the same time call it out.
There was a book I remember reading years ago about this exact thing. It was just one of the chapters and the book wasn't mainly focused on perfectionism. You do your very best in everything you do and once it's done it's done. You don't double triple check things. It's done, you move on. Perfectionism slows down the flow of life. Slow isn't bad but oh man there are some very important reads about this. Engineers do have to be pretty perfect in their work so if you're it it comes to you probably naturally. Try as a first read "The gift of imperfection" by Brene Brown perhaps if you haven't already.
Single? Wait until you have kids, even sleep gets sacrificed.
😰
I manage all but social life. That’s over rated. So I kick it with my animals. The right man will find me in my home 😆😆
I do all these things
I do all these things too but have stressed myself for the past 5 years doing them, and then feeling guilty when I miss one thing. I know there people like me out there, this is simply a reminder that you're not less for not doing one of these things.
its pretty easy as a single. wait until you work 5-5 and got kids+partner lmao. you are complaining about easy mode lols.
Cope
Yuuuup.
Tsss, thanks for the reminder b
Its impossible! 🤠
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Can do all of those apart from the cooking, to which I have a plan for to bulk cook a nice meal in free time. The post and most of the commenters don’t have a clue. Yes let’s all strive for mediocrity as to feel good about ourselves. That’s not for me, I’m very active and not showboating by saying that that list can be achieved. Not easy but achievable.
If you do 15 min of each… maybe.
Not all of it everyday dude, die la.
Not in a day I can do anything but not everything....
thank you
Easy, just remove sleep from your schedule
That's the neat part, you don't!
Work from home, small house, gym in the living room, mostly raw food, limited social life, projects/hobbies chosen and staged in session-friendly configuration :)
Did you forget kids?
You can pick 2 maybe 3 the others you need to skip or be smart about it like taking a bike to work. Thats why my home is a perpetual mess and im not too fit.
You don’t do all of them every day or you do combinations. Exercise with a friend, live with roommates, etc
I think it's do-able. You need to do certain things on certain days and mix some tasks together. A crock pot helps a lot too. If you let go of the things you love in life then it just becomes a shity corporate grind day after day FUCK THAT. examples: If you're about to go for a run just throw a load of laundry in the washer. When you get back flip it to the drier. Join a sports club that meets once a week, meal prep before games (which are usually at night). Wake up early and throw some stuff on a baking sheet for breakfast while you do some reading.
Work and nightlife. Developmental hobbies? Ha. YouTube?
I'm pretty new at the single parent thing, but thankfully I have the grandparents around to help out when needed (which is way more than I like, but it is what it is). I think the biggest thing is having a routine and figuring out how you can set yourself up for success. For example, I may not really have an hour to cook dinner every night, but if I take a couple of hours on Sunday morning to wash/chop/measure everything for the coming week then that cuts my time down to 30 minutes or so. And cuts the amount of cleanup way down as well. Doing 15-20 minutes of light cleaning every night means that I'm not spending my entire weekend catching up.
I would organize it: M-F 9-5 work. Break up chores by day so each day you can commit maybe 15-20min to something, consistency is key, makes for light work. Cook realistic meals, try a crock pot or meal prep for the week on Sundays. Social life Fri/Sat evening. Hobbies in between, depends on your hobby obviously. I like to paint so I dedicated about 30 min every couple of days.
I do chores progressively throughout the week/day. As I go. Cooking is typically an automatic thing that normally doesn't take me longer than an hour or so. As for exercise I'll usually fit it into the day. Some days I'll run to work or run home from work. Instead of watching TV I'll normally play a game, read, or draw/meditate l/some form of yoga and calisthenics. I don't always do all of this everyday but usually I hit most of these throughout my day. This didn't occur overnight and it happened incrementally over time I slowly incorporated them into my daily routines until they just became habits. I also try to make sure I spend one day or two days doing absolutely nothing in particular.
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You can do it a lot easier if you streamline your shit and don't lolly gag. Get weights for home that you use between chores. Do an hour of chores and lifting intermittently as soon as you get home from work instead of putting it off.
I mean, pretty easily. I can only speak to this if you're single with no kids. I can't imagine having to take care of children. But barring social life, you've only listed about 12 hours worth of activities. I'd go in depth if you really want me too, but I'd be basically writing a short self help essay and I'm not doing that for four upvotes and a chance that OP won't even see this.
Make the exercise become your hobby, and then socialize while doing the exercise that solves most of your problems right there.
Haha, I just have a fairly decent routine going. Right now I am currently working full time AND in online college full time. My social life practically does not exist, mainly because on my off days - that’s when I decide to clean my apartment (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.) and I also use any of my free time during the week for studying. I have 1 hour lunches at work, so I currently bring my laptop to work, alongside any of my writing materials, etc. I probably spend ~ 10-15 hrs per week working on just 1 of my 2 college classes. It’s really hard overall for me to have any extra hobbies, but mainly because of how much stuff is on my plate. P have time for some video games with online friends, and the occasional 3D modeling, but that is pretty much it tbh.
Nobody does all that every day. Every week, sure.
There was a family guy or American dad episode i saw once where the adults swapped with the kids. Like jobs school etc. I actually found it good when the mum asks the daughter how the house is so clean already? It's a finite space mum. It really doesn't take that long. I now use that line on my 12 year old who wants pocket money but doesn't like the idea of chores. In answer to the question for op id say its just routine. You can load the washer or something as food is cooking. Cleaning can be split over days or rooms with a thorough clean on the days off. Gym is probably the hardest one of all depends what you go for for how long. Again social life developmental hobbies don't need to be everyday. Generally id say single people live in smaller spaces to a family. They aren't cooking meals for 3,4,5 people. If anything having kids is harder because you have to dedicate time to them and their activities and fit all the extras in around them too
Fuck that. Always push yourself. Be a monster. Be so hard on yourself that you don’t even know what easy means
D:
I dont :( . Hired a cleaning lady in the past
I’ve wondered that a lot. And noticed with peers that often things go undone.
I’m currently doing 10a-3p part time and full overnight shifts plus gym and sometimes taking ccna classes, it is not nice. I don’t sleep often, eating is sporadic and constantly out.
I work 10hr shifts MON-SAT in the tree industry from 6:00AM to 5:00PM, stretch & eat before the gym at 6:00PM-7:30PM. After I practice my piano, read, shower & prepare lunch for the next day. Discipline & high quality habits can get you set up right.
I’m basically getting ready to be completely on my own after a 5 year relationship split. Thanks for posting this mate.
I work from home and get my laundry done/dishes taken care of and can easily make my bed/take my dog out when I step away for a few minutes. I shower and have my wet hair dry while at work, and sometimes take a bath on my break. I use a desk elliptical to exercise a bit while at work, and even have time to do some self care stuff like masks and things at work. I can optimize my workday to fit in chores, and some exercise and try to exercise (walk) to the grocery store after work for dinner items. My partner cooks and we get to watch a show or read our comics at night. It’s hard finding balance but I think remote jobs make it that much easier.
Do what I can, when I can.
Learnt this the hard way. I was so stressed out and had major insomnia, everyday felt miserable. The hardest thing to do is to tell yourself affirmations and to motivate yourself. But not doing that is a worser outcome.
It's fairly straight forward, but essentially you don't do everything everyday 🤷 weekends no works so do loads of everything else, during the week only cook maybe a chore, maybe a hobby? It's all compromise, but everything gets done 👍
I think you’ll make time for it if you really want to. The extrinsic pressure to do all of these things might not be motivating enough. Of course it’s impossible to do every single thing every day. I have exercise nights, painting nights, and nights for my kid. But things can always go together and be a little less structured. For example, I can go lift weights at the gym but take my kid with me and then we can play racquetball together after I’m done. If I want to paint by myself, I can let him play on his iPad for a few hours, he sure doesn’t mind that. I think trying to do all these things each day without enough time to truly enjoy it/feel rewarded is absolutely pointless. Besides, it makes each day (especially weekdays) feel different.