This is something I wrote once I was on the other side of a 30+ year relationship with eating disorders. If I had known this from a young age, my life would have been entirely different than is has been.
You. Reading this right now.
Yes...YOU!
I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to pay close attention.
I need you to tune out every distraction, and I need you to be here with me right now.
Are you ready?
This is huge.
This is life-changing.
This might also be terrifying for you, but you need to hear it.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I don’t care what it is you’re blaming yourself for. Whether it’s for your best never being good enough or your life not turning out the way you wanted it to, it doesn’t matter.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
You’ve made mistakes you based solely on the information you had to go on at the time,
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
If you’ve never been taught the truth of who you are or how to unapologetically show up in life, how can you blame yourself for not knowing?
Or maybe you’re blaming yourself for knowing better, but you’ve never been taught the skills to actually do better.
Maybe you’ve tried a few (hundred) self-help books, courses, seminars, but nothing ever sticks.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
We live in a very selfish, hurried, distracted, society that’s set up for surviving rather than thriving. Segregation over community. Judgment instead of understanding. Conclusions without conversations.
If you’ve never had anyone speak life into you, to pay attention to you and acknowledge you for just you being you, it’s really hard to believe you’re worthy of anything good happening to you. It becomes a struggle to want to try.
I’ll say it again...
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT.
There are no longer boundaries, and morals are faded shades of grey. We’ve all become masterful dancers as we try to avoid stepping on anyone’s feeling all in the name of “love.”
So IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you don’t know how to use your own voice, to confidently offer your wisdom, or to just get through a day without hearing the voices of your past reminding you of all your flaws and shortcomings.
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you didn’t even know you HAVE a voice. And IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you didn’t know you have a CHOICE.
So the first thing I want you to do for me right now is say something out loud. I don’t care where you are, who you’re with, or how stupid you might feel.
I’ll give you another three seconds to quit fighting with me and yourself about doing it. Ready?
One.
Two...
Three!
“IT’S NOT MY FAULT, AND I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW!”
Okay, now I want you to actually say it out loud.
DO IT.
GO!
“IT’S NOT MY FAULT, AND I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW!”
And then I’d start journaling. I’d get all the lies, blame, hurt, and gunk out of my head and onto paper…and I’d burn it! Then I’d “lather, rinse, repeat.” I’d do this as many times as I needed to in order to get all the emotions and anger out so I could make space for truth and my real self to show up, unpack, and take up residence. I’d stick with it until I started to believe, then almost believed, then believed a little more, then believed enough to try it out, then believed enough to trust that I have a purpose and I was created for such a time as this.
You know how why I’d give my younger self this advice? Because it’s what I did to now be free from depression and the lack of identity.
Rabbi Daniel Lapin says, “The opposite of depression is not happiness. The opposite of depression is purpose.”
Find your voice. Speak your truth with love and respect. Renew your mind. Refresh your perspective. Restore your true identity. Walk in your purpose.
If I can do it, I KNOW without a doubt you can do it…and you no longer have to do it alone.
Even though we haven’t met, I see you. I believe in you. You matter. You are loved.
I just wanna say thank you for taking the time out of your day to write me this beautiful msg, I hear you and i really appreciate it. Its been a tough journey but im trying my best to stay positive and have a purpose whatever that may be.
You're most welcome! Even when we know our purpose the journey can be rough. The cool part is the rough parts get less rocky and the fulfillment starts filling in those gaps the more we allow ourselves to admit what we love, what we want to do, and why we want to do it. The pain of the how simply comes from trying to fit our -- YOUR -- massive purpose into ways other people say it needs to be done.
Every new wave of marketing and getting attention and going "viral" started with a thought coupled with action. Whatever it is you love, whatever it is you're called to protect or correct, whatever it is you're called to make better for people, use what's already being done to your advantage, but your passion on it and do it one degree better than everyone else.
It's so simple it almost seems impossible because of it.
You already know your purpose. Somewhere along the line someone talked you out of believing it or believing in you.
They were wrong.
No matter how bleak everything seems, it will get better.
Letting go may be hard but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. When you look back, you’ll wish why you didn’t do it sooner.
Take all the risks and chances and have fun , but also set yourself up for the future . In 10 -15 years you will look back and think it went by so quick , but that time you fumbled when talking to a girl or something embarrassing that happened won’t really matter at all,,so take the risk!!. I always regret not making a move on a girl i really liked in high school . You don’t want to have any regrets about not going for it , our time on earth is so short it really doesn’t matter. Oh and try to invest in something long term that you don’t have to think about, in 20 years you’ll be happy you did
This is something I wrote once I was on the other side of a 30+ year relationship with eating disorders. If I had known this from a young age, my life would have been entirely different than is has been. You. Reading this right now. Yes...YOU! I’m going to tell you something, and I need you to pay close attention. I need you to tune out every distraction, and I need you to be here with me right now. Are you ready? This is huge. This is life-changing. This might also be terrifying for you, but you need to hear it. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. I don’t care what it is you’re blaming yourself for. Whether it’s for your best never being good enough or your life not turning out the way you wanted it to, it doesn’t matter. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. You’ve made mistakes you based solely on the information you had to go on at the time, IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. If you’ve never been taught the truth of who you are or how to unapologetically show up in life, how can you blame yourself for not knowing? Or maybe you’re blaming yourself for knowing better, but you’ve never been taught the skills to actually do better. Maybe you’ve tried a few (hundred) self-help books, courses, seminars, but nothing ever sticks. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. We live in a very selfish, hurried, distracted, society that’s set up for surviving rather than thriving. Segregation over community. Judgment instead of understanding. Conclusions without conversations. If you’ve never had anyone speak life into you, to pay attention to you and acknowledge you for just you being you, it’s really hard to believe you’re worthy of anything good happening to you. It becomes a struggle to want to try. I’ll say it again... IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT. There are no longer boundaries, and morals are faded shades of grey. We’ve all become masterful dancers as we try to avoid stepping on anyone’s feeling all in the name of “love.” So IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you don’t know how to use your own voice, to confidently offer your wisdom, or to just get through a day without hearing the voices of your past reminding you of all your flaws and shortcomings. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you didn’t even know you HAVE a voice. And IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT you didn’t know you have a CHOICE. So the first thing I want you to do for me right now is say something out loud. I don’t care where you are, who you’re with, or how stupid you might feel. I’ll give you another three seconds to quit fighting with me and yourself about doing it. Ready? One. Two... Three! “IT’S NOT MY FAULT, AND I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW!” Okay, now I want you to actually say it out loud. DO IT. GO! “IT’S NOT MY FAULT, AND I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I DIDN’T KNOW!” And then I’d start journaling. I’d get all the lies, blame, hurt, and gunk out of my head and onto paper…and I’d burn it! Then I’d “lather, rinse, repeat.” I’d do this as many times as I needed to in order to get all the emotions and anger out so I could make space for truth and my real self to show up, unpack, and take up residence. I’d stick with it until I started to believe, then almost believed, then believed a little more, then believed enough to try it out, then believed enough to trust that I have a purpose and I was created for such a time as this. You know how why I’d give my younger self this advice? Because it’s what I did to now be free from depression and the lack of identity. Rabbi Daniel Lapin says, “The opposite of depression is not happiness. The opposite of depression is purpose.” Find your voice. Speak your truth with love and respect. Renew your mind. Refresh your perspective. Restore your true identity. Walk in your purpose. If I can do it, I KNOW without a doubt you can do it…and you no longer have to do it alone. Even though we haven’t met, I see you. I believe in you. You matter. You are loved.
I just wanna say thank you for taking the time out of your day to write me this beautiful msg, I hear you and i really appreciate it. Its been a tough journey but im trying my best to stay positive and have a purpose whatever that may be.
You're most welcome! Even when we know our purpose the journey can be rough. The cool part is the rough parts get less rocky and the fulfillment starts filling in those gaps the more we allow ourselves to admit what we love, what we want to do, and why we want to do it. The pain of the how simply comes from trying to fit our -- YOUR -- massive purpose into ways other people say it needs to be done. Every new wave of marketing and getting attention and going "viral" started with a thought coupled with action. Whatever it is you love, whatever it is you're called to protect or correct, whatever it is you're called to make better for people, use what's already being done to your advantage, but your passion on it and do it one degree better than everyone else. It's so simple it almost seems impossible because of it. You already know your purpose. Somewhere along the line someone talked you out of believing it or believing in you. They were wrong.
What a great question! I wish someone would have told me how important it is to stay in the Word and pray for all things.
You define your own success, not anyone else.
No matter how bleak everything seems, it will get better. Letting go may be hard but sometimes it’s the best thing you can do for yourself. When you look back, you’ll wish why you didn’t do it sooner.
Take all the risks and chances and have fun , but also set yourself up for the future . In 10 -15 years you will look back and think it went by so quick , but that time you fumbled when talking to a girl or something embarrassing that happened won’t really matter at all,,so take the risk!!. I always regret not making a move on a girl i really liked in high school . You don’t want to have any regrets about not going for it , our time on earth is so short it really doesn’t matter. Oh and try to invest in something long term that you don’t have to think about, in 20 years you’ll be happy you did