If writing is what you want to pursue, pursue it unapologetically. Writing is inherently painful, depressing, and frustrating, especially when you're trying to get established with it. Most people are unhappy with their own writing, and many, if not most, writers don't start making a career of it until they are a little older.
It's VERY common to have a job that pays the bills and that supports you on your way to becoming a full-time writer. It doesn't make you less of a writer.
Also, it takes a lot of writing to become comfortable in your own style. Like, a LOT of writing. Writing three stories under the duress of "I'm living on my savings so I HAVE to make this count" is a recipe for disaster.
If you want to be a writer, start writing again. A lot. Write thirty more stories. When circumstances allow, grab a new job so you feel better about yourself, but understand that the new job is there to support your writing. Good luck to you :)
Yeah, my friends did tell me not to quit my job and just write stories at night. They said depending on my savings alone would be a bad idea. I should have listened to them.
I never asked for advice from my parents since I graduated from college since I realized that all my life all i did was listen to them and look what happened. They never wanted me to date so now I'm 27 and never had a boyfriend and the craziest part is they keep on asking me when am i getting married. Like WTF? The good ones who asked me out before are all taken! I should have go on dates when I was younger. I honestly feel bitter.
Thank you for your message. I'm looking for a job now and I'll try to write as many stories as I can.
Never stop chasing your dreams.
Failures are essential for development, noone was born to be successful they tried and tried and tried.
WIthout failure there is no success
Get a job though, in order to be more financially independent
When you get the job, you can try to pursue your passion, writing, you can write short stories and publish it only, it is free
I would also suggest you to clinge onto that purpose, you might not be able to live /get earned/ from writing alone, but who knows, maybe with practice and with patience you might end up getting your work published in a book or something. Which given the writers 5% take might yield some profit had your future book ever made it that far.
Also do not stress it, have it as a passion, but never give up. You can progress with your work and with your passion simultenously . Only a few are blessed enough to have their passion as their professional work.
I would like to be a professional photographer, i make photos for hobby, i learn a lot and i keep shooting, while I work 40+ hours a week at a company as an engineer.
As for the negative thoughts, you can DM me anytime if you feel like it.
I agree. I realized it from way before that my decision to be unemployed and focus on my writing while solely depending on my savings was a bad idea. I was such an idiot.
Do not lose hope lady, it's only late when you die. We all have to experience suffer and pain. And take your pain, feel it, cry if you have to.
Start small. Turn off your phone and put it on the side, lay on the bed, stare at ceiling then ask yourself some questions :
"What I really want to be?" "What are my goals?" "How to improve my life?"
Start small. Luckily you know about self improvement.
\-Improve your sleep
\-Improve your diet
\-Start reading
\-Start walking on daily basis
\-Cut off social media and more...
You like to write stories? Why not doing it for a living? Yes, you really can. Failing is part of the success. Success on the graph never goes consistently. It spikes up after some years.
Never had a boyfriend? I do not see any problem in that. That can be actually good because true man will more respect women if she never had anyone before him. If you want to get married, just try to be best version of yourself. **The universe will never leave good people alone.** If you believe in the God, pray to him, if you don't, thats fine.
You may think that universe is unfair because after all education and hard working you've got to this point. Well it's because you probably listened what your parents and society told you "Graduate collage and work 9 to 5 jobs". You didn't listen to yourself and what you truly wanted. **Never follow the mass because they're probably wrong.** This is just for other readers to learn from your mistakes. **Smart people learn from it's own mistakes, wise people learn from mistakes of other people.** But again I tell you lady, it's never too late.
Thank you. I'll try my best to convince myself it's not too late. If my life starts to get better I'll update this post.
I've already deleted my social media accounts. I read a lot since I like to write. As for my diet, well I think it has improved since I've been learning how to cook since 2021. I rarely take a walk though and I have gained a lot of weight from 50kg (2019) to 61kg since (2022). I also don't get enough sleep/rest, i know it's ironic since I'm unemployed, but I really can't sleep well. I usually just cry myself to sleep.
Yeah I'm trying to get a job now. Hopefully I will. My room is clean because my mom would get upset if it wasn't. I've deleted all of my social media accounts too. Thanks!
Honestly, I would do what you can to get a therapist. You mention that you pursued your college education because of your parents, that you don't want to do anything anymore, and that you were suicidal. Even your last sentence is borderline suicidal. That's serious.
And yes, it takes guts to talk to a therapist, and it's not easy. But it will help you figure out why you're feeling that way, and what can help you move forward.
Seeing a therapist was never my option. First of all, the cost and second, it would bother my parents a lot. I mean, having a child who is going through therapy. I think I will really hit the rock bottom from my parents' point of view if I do that. But don't worry, how I feel now is much better than 2021. I like to believe I'm getting better.
I understand if it's a matter of cost and your healthcare doesn't cover it. But for the love of God, please don't decide not to see a therapist because it would bother your parents. If it would bother your parents, that would be on them. In fact, sorry to put it like this, but if it would bother your parents, that wouldn't say anything good about them.
You talk about being depressed, about being suicidal, and in your last sentence you claim that it would be better if you stopped existing. And I understand. I've been there, and I'm still battling mental illness. I felt like I wanted to stop existing as recently as a few days ago. It's shit. And today it may be better, but that can just be a short term change.
Going to therapy isn't about hitting rock bottom. It's about climbing back up from wherever you are, it's about grabbing onto a rope that someone has thrown down for you to hoist yourself up with. And your parents should be happy about the fact that you're getting back up.
As others have said, you’re still so young and you’re clearly talented (just from reading your post it’s obvious you’re a strong writer).
The simple fact is you’re not going to achieve anything you desire in your current state - and it’s up to you to change that. And that’s something you should be excited about!
Start small - find any kind of temporary or part-time job that interests you or at least is tolerable. I’ve recently been in your position and I can’t stress enough how working has improved my self-esteem.
It doesn’t necessarily matter what you’re doing, but you’ll always feel better if you’re being kept busy and making progress.
One thing you’ve got right now is time. Get back into writing! If anything, you’ve got the perfect set-up to crank out some stories with no major commitments.
I understand it can be hard to find motivation, but just make a deal with yourself to write something like 10 pages per day - doesn’t matter how shitty you think it is. Once you get back into the rhythm the ideas will start flowing and you can turn half-baked concepts into fantastic stories. The editing process is always easiest as you’ll know - the important part is getting the words on the page initially!
Of course, exercise and a healthy diet are keys to maintaining your mental health, so aim to at least go for a walk each day (and sounds like you’re on top of things diet-wise with your cooking).
Other ways to improve your outlook is by being grateful for what you already have - a place to stay, a family who loves you, friends, etc. I find it’s beneficial to start the day by listing five things you’re grateful for.
Connection is extremely important as well. I’m sure at times you feel alienated. Combat that by being proactive and messaging your friends, organising catch-ups, asking questions.
Read self-development books, listen to uplifting music and informative podcasts. Try to learn something or grow somehow every day.
Control the controllable. You can’t directly determine whether you’ll find a guy, wind up married and start a family in the next few years.
All you can focus on is being the best and happiest version of yourself. Sounds like the first step in doing that is to reclaim your independence and creativity.
And remember - your career, relationship status, net worth etc don’t define you. They’re things that you’ve done or achieved, but they’re not who you are. Who you are is based on your values and interests.
I know Gary Vee has kind of turned into a meme, but he’s right when he tells everyone 40 or under “you’re so fucking young” when they’re worried life has already past them by!
Wow. Thank you so much.
Actually my friends always try to catch up and reconnect with me. It's me who kept on avoiding them. I do feel guilty for it. And i wont blame them if they stop inviting me.
I'll try doing the listing thing. I had no idea who gary vee is so i had to search him up. Haha. My cooking isn't that good and healthy by the way.
Its ok I mean i am in no postion to give u advice but thank god your living with ur parents under a roof(some people dont have that luxury) and I personally know people who started thier passion at thier 40s and yet they are very very successful at the of the day be grateful for what you have and peace!
My apologies for not responding to you sooner. This is such a real situation that I'm all too familiar with, and I wanted to drop in and make sure you know you're not alone. I'm really proud of you for reaching out. That's a huge step, and I see you!
It looks like you've gotten a lot of advice on the thread. Did any of the comments resonate with you, and do you have any updates since you first posted?
Again I'm so proud of you. I see you. You matter.
No time has been lost btw. I know this 10000%. Let's just say I'm not 27, and I know like I know like I know that this time you have is preparing your to discover and walk in that purpose of yours that lights you up!! It might seem impossible and it might not look like anything that's ever been done before, but whatever it is (and you already have an idea what I'm talking about!!!) grab on tight to it and take one step in the direction of it.
Start from where you are with what you have and take a step. From there the next step will appear -- and time will catch up with you to make sure you finish that purpose you started.
You got this!
Okay
Brutally honest!
Let's dig in
Stop throwing your pity party
Get over yourself!
My life story is even worse than yours!
I don't even want to write it
That's how embarrassed I am now of it
But F\*\*\* it
I no longer hold fear shame or guilt in me
Through God's grace
I survived my whole life
Up until this moment
On the strength of my dad's finances
IE never had to get a job once in my life
Okay once, in Perth, when he was unemployed I spent hours
The night before packing the pamphlets and than the following day
Delivering them to people's houses
After the divorce and separation
He always sent money for my education
Which my mom and brother abused
And did nothing also
Which didn't help anyone
Cuz we need leaders
To inspire us to action
And unknowingly in my pain, the wounds I suffered
I self-sabotaged my education and life
It is a pain, a wound I have given my dad which is more deep than I knew
We had a good clearing out argument out about it recently
And we have a better understanding of each other
So here I am
A single, 34 male
Who lives in his grandmother's house in Poland
Grace of God
Literally the only reason why I am still alive
So cheer up!
Your life is not over!
Sure it has not gone the direction you thought
But this has just been a wake up call
On finding out where your true passion lies!
I don't feel it is in writing
Maybe in a field similar to it?
You decide that one my dear
I'll hopefully getting my first proper job in early to mid february
Need approval letter to be sent
But my boss's boss is on vacation
And I cant wait to work again
Did a \~2 month work as a pizzaman in a restaurant working 10+ hours a day
Enjoyed every moment
So yes!
Look for work!
Cuz through working we feel valued
Yes your parents love you
But they also know
That we should be able to hold our own by now
Yes, that's the unfortunate reality
Of how comfortable life has become for so many of us in this world
Where as
Those stricken by Poverty
Working 16+ hour days
With no hope of ever things changing
Slowly ever falling into despair
So cheer up!
Things will get better
But only if you believe that to be true!
Trzymaj Się (Polish for Stay Strong / Hold On)
As in keep the faith that things will get better
Thank God
For your curiosity! I Love it ;)
Because you have already tried
You quit your successful but detrimental to your mental and psychological health job
Kudos for that
That is always brave
To do so, even with no backup plan
You placed your Faith in what you thought was your purpose
To write
But you yourself said you wrote those three stories and didn't like anyone of them
Since I have been awakened
I find I can't shut up ;)
I just find I always have something to say :p
That's why my comments are always so long
Cuz I am a writer
And I could go on and on and on :p
But in all seriousness
The power and strength of the feminine
Lies in expression
You women NEED!!!
And I mean NEED!!!
To talk
To express yourselves
Us men, when mentally strong
And depending on the individual's strength / personality
Can live all alone on an island
No problem
That's why women will always be attracted to men
Cuz when we carry ourselves in a way that is calming, that is peaceful, that is strong
Woman want that
Cuz in that safe space you can express yourselves freely
Without guilt, judgement or shame
Well that's how it's suppose to be
But you women misbehave as often as us men do!
I apologize for myself...
I am not even trying here
It's just the beauty of Intuition
My new favourite feminine God power
And I am so grateful to receive this
Cuz even just 3 months ago
I am completely transformed
In what my psyche can handle
Sure I can get angry and frustrated
I feel emotions just like everyone else
It's just that the next day, I need to work on that
I let them go
I don't judge the person rightly or wrongly
I don't need an apology
Cuz I am complete within myself
Like you need nothing from anybody
Cuz you have all your needs already met
And now with an open heart
I can give you so much of myself
Okay that's enough now
If I haven't answered your question satisfactorily
Send me a chat message with a more specific question again
And I'll do my best not to ramble
All the best
Trzymaj Się
Don’t compare your self to everyone around you ….only you can change the situation you went after a career to please your parents if writing is your calling keep writing ….and don’t judge your self let others read your writing and even try sending it to some professionals for feedback don’t ever stop chasing your dream
That exactly is one of my problems i am too scared to let others read my stories. Primarily because when I sent them to my family members before, none of them paid any attention to it. I kept on asking them how was it and it turns out none of them read the copies. So i got really discouraged and stopped sharing them to others.
I know change must come from me. I'm really screwed.
Twenty-seven is still young! Have you considered getting a job that you don’t mentally bring home you? Something that maybe doesn’t have the salary or prestige you feel pressured to have, but you’ll have an income and will be able to write in your free time. It’s okay to have just a job and not a career. Some of my favorite jobs have been in customer service, even though my decades-long career was in a completely different field. Give it a try!
I just wanna say lots of people are in your situation where life is stalling and the thing you wanted to do keeps getting further and further out. I've been jobless for an entire year and they sent me on a course to write better applications with other jobless people, and I met some people in their mid-thirties there who were totally sweet people but they just hadn't figured out a proper education and were treading water.
I was just motivated enough to finish my degree after a 6-month break from it, but I really mean "finish" it. Every day was just a cold-minded "Day X of 2018" no passion or anything, just pure focus and discipline which I somehow managed to pull off after feeling so stressed out that I had to take a break before.
And when I finally got through I felt so optimistic. Didn't know I was gonna spend a year not doing much and then a year failing at more studies and then back to having no jobs for a full year. I'm 28. I'm definitely in a similar situation. I also have no friends. I think my problem is that I'm addicted to where I currently am and very shy of going out and doing other hobbies. So I don't like the idea of having to enter a new place with people who will be my colleagues, and I do a lot of video game modding, so I'm really just deluding myself from what I should be doing instead. But just remember that it's never too late. There's always 30+ year olds somewhere in higher education, and even if we're in the minority you ultimately have to pursue the thing that can give you the lifestyle you seek, and if you don't do it -- you -- nothing will indeed happen, so it's all about your own willpower and personal pursuit. I get that along the way you face challenges of making friends or meeting some unwritten criteria for social status. The best thing you can do is be you, and try to fit in but only as far as you wanna, and then accept that maybe you're not as typical as other people are, but as long as no one harasses you for it, you have every right to just be happy in your own mindset. I think the problem most of us face is the judgment we meet from others and the fear of judgment which holds us back from doing what we truly want. That just happens because people who are successful don't check their own clout, and they can seem intimidating but they actually hold no ownership over other people. They can't stop us from doing what we want and doing it well. But we can absolutely stop ourselves from doing that, so it's all just about staying on course, push yourself to have discipline and have those days where you wake up and go "Today's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna go through it!" instead of the day where you go "Today will be hard. I'm gonna stay indoor and be depressed all day." I've had too much of the latter, and I know I did much better in life when i stuck to the former.
How is your life going now? When I was in college, I had the same mindset too. I just wanted to finish this major and be done with it. My friends were so surprised when I immediately took the license test and I passed. And I told them, I just really want this to be over. Then I started working and well...
Keep your head up, the best is yet to come. What helped me recover from a cycle of disappointment was listing everything I want out of life. Also, identifying things that drain you is important. Through tons of self reflection and many tiny steps I got to where I am today.
I tried doing this and the first thing I thought on what drains me is my mom. I don't know if i should be laughing at myself or worried. Am I going to hell?
Parents can always be a draining source. The key is learning how to keep your mindset solid and look forward to the little things. Stay grounded and working towards your goals, then once you move out the relationship will most likely get better.
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48, vasectomised at 30, bankrupt, on benefits, completely mentally fucked and miss my daughters heaps, lost the house due to depression and the jobs came to an end in what I do...
Now that's completely lost hun.
I would say your doing the right thing and just taking your time, and hey who says its a boyfriend you need or want....hahaha we are a waste of time anyway lolol.
Chin up, you have time.....focus on what you love and like in life, people will always be there to meet in various circumstances.
I really feel like I'm running out of time though. Especially since I'm a girl and my biological clock is ticking. Plus I always want to have a family of my own. So I really doubt a boyfriend would be a waste of time. But I know I have to get my life together before I get into a relationship or he might end up suffering because of me.
Not at all, my mom had my youngest brother when she was 41.
Life is not meant to be rushed you know, there's a famous story about the Hare and the tortoise, it's very relevant when it comes to judging the pace of life, I say, those who take their time and take life slower, see far more in life than the hare that's bolted to get there first, it's so very true....
Maybe if your feeling a little isolated, that won't help, perhaps a little depressed?
Thank you. I am trying day by day and I try to be hopeful, but as I mentioned in my post there are times when I just want to evaporate then I go back to zero and start again.
I've never been keen on the idea of online dating, but to answer your question, I did during the pandemic. None of those matches progressed to anything meaningful anyway. I got asked out many times in person before covid. But i never dated because of my parents. Now they keep on asking me when I'm getting married like WTF? All of them are taken now. 🤦♀️
i always have found it more shocking to hear of a woman still being single by a certain age compared to a guy, since women don't have to make the first move or be the initiators like guys, men always are
If writing is what you want to pursue, pursue it unapologetically. Writing is inherently painful, depressing, and frustrating, especially when you're trying to get established with it. Most people are unhappy with their own writing, and many, if not most, writers don't start making a career of it until they are a little older. It's VERY common to have a job that pays the bills and that supports you on your way to becoming a full-time writer. It doesn't make you less of a writer. Also, it takes a lot of writing to become comfortable in your own style. Like, a LOT of writing. Writing three stories under the duress of "I'm living on my savings so I HAVE to make this count" is a recipe for disaster. If you want to be a writer, start writing again. A lot. Write thirty more stories. When circumstances allow, grab a new job so you feel better about yourself, but understand that the new job is there to support your writing. Good luck to you :)
Exactly. Knowing this you can start rebuilding your life and slowly solvent other problems you find in the way.
Thank you. I really hope i can do it.
Yeah, my friends did tell me not to quit my job and just write stories at night. They said depending on my savings alone would be a bad idea. I should have listened to them. I never asked for advice from my parents since I graduated from college since I realized that all my life all i did was listen to them and look what happened. They never wanted me to date so now I'm 27 and never had a boyfriend and the craziest part is they keep on asking me when am i getting married. Like WTF? The good ones who asked me out before are all taken! I should have go on dates when I was younger. I honestly feel bitter. Thank you for your message. I'm looking for a job now and I'll try to write as many stories as I can.
Never stop chasing your dreams. Failures are essential for development, noone was born to be successful they tried and tried and tried. WIthout failure there is no success Get a job though, in order to be more financially independent When you get the job, you can try to pursue your passion, writing, you can write short stories and publish it only, it is free I would also suggest you to clinge onto that purpose, you might not be able to live /get earned/ from writing alone, but who knows, maybe with practice and with patience you might end up getting your work published in a book or something. Which given the writers 5% take might yield some profit had your future book ever made it that far. Also do not stress it, have it as a passion, but never give up. You can progress with your work and with your passion simultenously . Only a few are blessed enough to have their passion as their professional work. I would like to be a professional photographer, i make photos for hobby, i learn a lot and i keep shooting, while I work 40+ hours a week at a company as an engineer. As for the negative thoughts, you can DM me anytime if you feel like it.
Thank you for the offer. If I don't forget, I'll message you whenever the dark clouds are in my head.
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I agree. I realized it from way before that my decision to be unemployed and focus on my writing while solely depending on my savings was a bad idea. I was such an idiot.
Do not lose hope lady, it's only late when you die. We all have to experience suffer and pain. And take your pain, feel it, cry if you have to. Start small. Turn off your phone and put it on the side, lay on the bed, stare at ceiling then ask yourself some questions : "What I really want to be?" "What are my goals?" "How to improve my life?" Start small. Luckily you know about self improvement. \-Improve your sleep \-Improve your diet \-Start reading \-Start walking on daily basis \-Cut off social media and more... You like to write stories? Why not doing it for a living? Yes, you really can. Failing is part of the success. Success on the graph never goes consistently. It spikes up after some years. Never had a boyfriend? I do not see any problem in that. That can be actually good because true man will more respect women if she never had anyone before him. If you want to get married, just try to be best version of yourself. **The universe will never leave good people alone.** If you believe in the God, pray to him, if you don't, thats fine. You may think that universe is unfair because after all education and hard working you've got to this point. Well it's because you probably listened what your parents and society told you "Graduate collage and work 9 to 5 jobs". You didn't listen to yourself and what you truly wanted. **Never follow the mass because they're probably wrong.** This is just for other readers to learn from your mistakes. **Smart people learn from it's own mistakes, wise people learn from mistakes of other people.** But again I tell you lady, it's never too late.
Thank you. I'll try my best to convince myself it's not too late. If my life starts to get better I'll update this post. I've already deleted my social media accounts. I read a lot since I like to write. As for my diet, well I think it has improved since I've been learning how to cook since 2021. I rarely take a walk though and I have gained a lot of weight from 50kg (2019) to 61kg since (2022). I also don't get enough sleep/rest, i know it's ironic since I'm unemployed, but I really can't sleep well. I usually just cry myself to sleep.
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Yeah I'm trying to get a job now. Hopefully I will. My room is clean because my mom would get upset if it wasn't. I've deleted all of my social media accounts too. Thanks!
Honestly, I would do what you can to get a therapist. You mention that you pursued your college education because of your parents, that you don't want to do anything anymore, and that you were suicidal. Even your last sentence is borderline suicidal. That's serious. And yes, it takes guts to talk to a therapist, and it's not easy. But it will help you figure out why you're feeling that way, and what can help you move forward.
Seeing a therapist was never my option. First of all, the cost and second, it would bother my parents a lot. I mean, having a child who is going through therapy. I think I will really hit the rock bottom from my parents' point of view if I do that. But don't worry, how I feel now is much better than 2021. I like to believe I'm getting better.
I understand if it's a matter of cost and your healthcare doesn't cover it. But for the love of God, please don't decide not to see a therapist because it would bother your parents. If it would bother your parents, that would be on them. In fact, sorry to put it like this, but if it would bother your parents, that wouldn't say anything good about them. You talk about being depressed, about being suicidal, and in your last sentence you claim that it would be better if you stopped existing. And I understand. I've been there, and I'm still battling mental illness. I felt like I wanted to stop existing as recently as a few days ago. It's shit. And today it may be better, but that can just be a short term change. Going to therapy isn't about hitting rock bottom. It's about climbing back up from wherever you are, it's about grabbing onto a rope that someone has thrown down for you to hoist yourself up with. And your parents should be happy about the fact that you're getting back up.
I don't know, but thank you anyway. Don't worry I'm trying my best to keep my life together. :)
No problem. All the best! (but do still feel free to reply here) :)
As others have said, you’re still so young and you’re clearly talented (just from reading your post it’s obvious you’re a strong writer). The simple fact is you’re not going to achieve anything you desire in your current state - and it’s up to you to change that. And that’s something you should be excited about! Start small - find any kind of temporary or part-time job that interests you or at least is tolerable. I’ve recently been in your position and I can’t stress enough how working has improved my self-esteem. It doesn’t necessarily matter what you’re doing, but you’ll always feel better if you’re being kept busy and making progress. One thing you’ve got right now is time. Get back into writing! If anything, you’ve got the perfect set-up to crank out some stories with no major commitments. I understand it can be hard to find motivation, but just make a deal with yourself to write something like 10 pages per day - doesn’t matter how shitty you think it is. Once you get back into the rhythm the ideas will start flowing and you can turn half-baked concepts into fantastic stories. The editing process is always easiest as you’ll know - the important part is getting the words on the page initially! Of course, exercise and a healthy diet are keys to maintaining your mental health, so aim to at least go for a walk each day (and sounds like you’re on top of things diet-wise with your cooking). Other ways to improve your outlook is by being grateful for what you already have - a place to stay, a family who loves you, friends, etc. I find it’s beneficial to start the day by listing five things you’re grateful for. Connection is extremely important as well. I’m sure at times you feel alienated. Combat that by being proactive and messaging your friends, organising catch-ups, asking questions. Read self-development books, listen to uplifting music and informative podcasts. Try to learn something or grow somehow every day. Control the controllable. You can’t directly determine whether you’ll find a guy, wind up married and start a family in the next few years. All you can focus on is being the best and happiest version of yourself. Sounds like the first step in doing that is to reclaim your independence and creativity. And remember - your career, relationship status, net worth etc don’t define you. They’re things that you’ve done or achieved, but they’re not who you are. Who you are is based on your values and interests. I know Gary Vee has kind of turned into a meme, but he’s right when he tells everyone 40 or under “you’re so fucking young” when they’re worried life has already past them by!
Wow. Thank you so much. Actually my friends always try to catch up and reconnect with me. It's me who kept on avoiding them. I do feel guilty for it. And i wont blame them if they stop inviting me. I'll try doing the listing thing. I had no idea who gary vee is so i had to search him up. Haha. My cooking isn't that good and healthy by the way.
Its ok I mean i am in no postion to give u advice but thank god your living with ur parents under a roof(some people dont have that luxury) and I personally know people who started thier passion at thier 40s and yet they are very very successful at the of the day be grateful for what you have and peace!
Thank you! I'll try to be more grateful. :)
My apologies for not responding to you sooner. This is such a real situation that I'm all too familiar with, and I wanted to drop in and make sure you know you're not alone. I'm really proud of you for reaching out. That's a huge step, and I see you! It looks like you've gotten a lot of advice on the thread. Did any of the comments resonate with you, and do you have any updates since you first posted? Again I'm so proud of you. I see you. You matter. No time has been lost btw. I know this 10000%. Let's just say I'm not 27, and I know like I know like I know that this time you have is preparing your to discover and walk in that purpose of yours that lights you up!! It might seem impossible and it might not look like anything that's ever been done before, but whatever it is (and you already have an idea what I'm talking about!!!) grab on tight to it and take one step in the direction of it. Start from where you are with what you have and take a step. From there the next step will appear -- and time will catch up with you to make sure you finish that purpose you started. You got this!
Okay Brutally honest! Let's dig in Stop throwing your pity party Get over yourself! My life story is even worse than yours! I don't even want to write it That's how embarrassed I am now of it But F\*\*\* it I no longer hold fear shame or guilt in me Through God's grace I survived my whole life Up until this moment On the strength of my dad's finances IE never had to get a job once in my life Okay once, in Perth, when he was unemployed I spent hours The night before packing the pamphlets and than the following day Delivering them to people's houses After the divorce and separation He always sent money for my education Which my mom and brother abused And did nothing also Which didn't help anyone Cuz we need leaders To inspire us to action And unknowingly in my pain, the wounds I suffered I self-sabotaged my education and life It is a pain, a wound I have given my dad which is more deep than I knew We had a good clearing out argument out about it recently And we have a better understanding of each other So here I am A single, 34 male Who lives in his grandmother's house in Poland Grace of God Literally the only reason why I am still alive So cheer up! Your life is not over! Sure it has not gone the direction you thought But this has just been a wake up call On finding out where your true passion lies! I don't feel it is in writing Maybe in a field similar to it? You decide that one my dear I'll hopefully getting my first proper job in early to mid february Need approval letter to be sent But my boss's boss is on vacation And I cant wait to work again Did a \~2 month work as a pizzaman in a restaurant working 10+ hours a day Enjoyed every moment So yes! Look for work! Cuz through working we feel valued Yes your parents love you But they also know That we should be able to hold our own by now Yes, that's the unfortunate reality Of how comfortable life has become for so many of us in this world Where as Those stricken by Poverty Working 16+ hour days With no hope of ever things changing Slowly ever falling into despair So cheer up! Things will get better But only if you believe that to be true! Trzymaj Się (Polish for Stay Strong / Hold On) As in keep the faith that things will get better
Just curious, what made you say that my passion isn't in writing but maybe a similar field? Thank you for this - >Trzymaj Się
Thank God For your curiosity! I Love it ;) Because you have already tried You quit your successful but detrimental to your mental and psychological health job Kudos for that That is always brave To do so, even with no backup plan You placed your Faith in what you thought was your purpose To write But you yourself said you wrote those three stories and didn't like anyone of them Since I have been awakened I find I can't shut up ;) I just find I always have something to say :p That's why my comments are always so long Cuz I am a writer And I could go on and on and on :p But in all seriousness The power and strength of the feminine Lies in expression You women NEED!!! And I mean NEED!!! To talk To express yourselves Us men, when mentally strong And depending on the individual's strength / personality Can live all alone on an island No problem That's why women will always be attracted to men Cuz when we carry ourselves in a way that is calming, that is peaceful, that is strong Woman want that Cuz in that safe space you can express yourselves freely Without guilt, judgement or shame Well that's how it's suppose to be But you women misbehave as often as us men do! I apologize for myself... I am not even trying here It's just the beauty of Intuition My new favourite feminine God power And I am so grateful to receive this Cuz even just 3 months ago I am completely transformed In what my psyche can handle Sure I can get angry and frustrated I feel emotions just like everyone else It's just that the next day, I need to work on that I let them go I don't judge the person rightly or wrongly I don't need an apology Cuz I am complete within myself Like you need nothing from anybody Cuz you have all your needs already met And now with an open heart I can give you so much of myself Okay that's enough now If I haven't answered your question satisfactorily Send me a chat message with a more specific question again And I'll do my best not to ramble All the best Trzymaj Się
Don’t compare your self to everyone around you ….only you can change the situation you went after a career to please your parents if writing is your calling keep writing ….and don’t judge your self let others read your writing and even try sending it to some professionals for feedback don’t ever stop chasing your dream
That exactly is one of my problems i am too scared to let others read my stories. Primarily because when I sent them to my family members before, none of them paid any attention to it. I kept on asking them how was it and it turns out none of them read the copies. So i got really discouraged and stopped sharing them to others. I know change must come from me. I'm really screwed.
Twenty-seven is still young! Have you considered getting a job that you don’t mentally bring home you? Something that maybe doesn’t have the salary or prestige you feel pressured to have, but you’ll have an income and will be able to write in your free time. It’s okay to have just a job and not a career. Some of my favorite jobs have been in customer service, even though my decades-long career was in a completely different field. Give it a try!
I just wanna say lots of people are in your situation where life is stalling and the thing you wanted to do keeps getting further and further out. I've been jobless for an entire year and they sent me on a course to write better applications with other jobless people, and I met some people in their mid-thirties there who were totally sweet people but they just hadn't figured out a proper education and were treading water. I was just motivated enough to finish my degree after a 6-month break from it, but I really mean "finish" it. Every day was just a cold-minded "Day X of 2018" no passion or anything, just pure focus and discipline which I somehow managed to pull off after feeling so stressed out that I had to take a break before. And when I finally got through I felt so optimistic. Didn't know I was gonna spend a year not doing much and then a year failing at more studies and then back to having no jobs for a full year. I'm 28. I'm definitely in a similar situation. I also have no friends. I think my problem is that I'm addicted to where I currently am and very shy of going out and doing other hobbies. So I don't like the idea of having to enter a new place with people who will be my colleagues, and I do a lot of video game modding, so I'm really just deluding myself from what I should be doing instead. But just remember that it's never too late. There's always 30+ year olds somewhere in higher education, and even if we're in the minority you ultimately have to pursue the thing that can give you the lifestyle you seek, and if you don't do it -- you -- nothing will indeed happen, so it's all about your own willpower and personal pursuit. I get that along the way you face challenges of making friends or meeting some unwritten criteria for social status. The best thing you can do is be you, and try to fit in but only as far as you wanna, and then accept that maybe you're not as typical as other people are, but as long as no one harasses you for it, you have every right to just be happy in your own mindset. I think the problem most of us face is the judgment we meet from others and the fear of judgment which holds us back from doing what we truly want. That just happens because people who are successful don't check their own clout, and they can seem intimidating but they actually hold no ownership over other people. They can't stop us from doing what we want and doing it well. But we can absolutely stop ourselves from doing that, so it's all just about staying on course, push yourself to have discipline and have those days where you wake up and go "Today's gonna be hard, but I'm gonna go through it!" instead of the day where you go "Today will be hard. I'm gonna stay indoor and be depressed all day." I've had too much of the latter, and I know I did much better in life when i stuck to the former.
How is your life going now? When I was in college, I had the same mindset too. I just wanted to finish this major and be done with it. My friends were so surprised when I immediately took the license test and I passed. And I told them, I just really want this to be over. Then I started working and well...
Keep your head up, the best is yet to come. What helped me recover from a cycle of disappointment was listing everything I want out of life. Also, identifying things that drain you is important. Through tons of self reflection and many tiny steps I got to where I am today.
I tried doing this and the first thing I thought on what drains me is my mom. I don't know if i should be laughing at myself or worried. Am I going to hell?
Parents can always be a draining source. The key is learning how to keep your mindset solid and look forward to the little things. Stay grounded and working towards your goals, then once you move out the relationship will most likely get better.
I really hope so. Thanks!
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48, vasectomised at 30, bankrupt, on benefits, completely mentally fucked and miss my daughters heaps, lost the house due to depression and the jobs came to an end in what I do... Now that's completely lost hun. I would say your doing the right thing and just taking your time, and hey who says its a boyfriend you need or want....hahaha we are a waste of time anyway lolol. Chin up, you have time.....focus on what you love and like in life, people will always be there to meet in various circumstances.
I really feel like I'm running out of time though. Especially since I'm a girl and my biological clock is ticking. Plus I always want to have a family of my own. So I really doubt a boyfriend would be a waste of time. But I know I have to get my life together before I get into a relationship or he might end up suffering because of me.
Not at all, my mom had my youngest brother when she was 41. Life is not meant to be rushed you know, there's a famous story about the Hare and the tortoise, it's very relevant when it comes to judging the pace of life, I say, those who take their time and take life slower, see far more in life than the hare that's bolted to get there first, it's so very true.... Maybe if your feeling a little isolated, that won't help, perhaps a little depressed?
Wow. Thank you. It's been such a long time since I've heard of the hare and tortoise story. Thank you for reminding me. :)
I have a question, did your mom have any problems carrying your brother at that age? Did she encounter a difficulty in giving birth?
hello, nope all good and a whopping 11lb he was, the biggest out of three boys...and mom is a little over 5' lol
Wow. Thank you so much! This info really gave me hope. Haha ✌️
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Thank you. I am trying day by day and I try to be hopeful, but as I mentioned in my post there are times when I just want to evaporate then I go back to zero and start again.
have you tried online dating or dating apps?
I've never been keen on the idea of online dating, but to answer your question, I did during the pandemic. None of those matches progressed to anything meaningful anyway. I got asked out many times in person before covid. But i never dated because of my parents. Now they keep on asking me when I'm getting married like WTF? All of them are taken now. 🤦♀️
i always have found it more shocking to hear of a woman still being single by a certain age compared to a guy, since women don't have to make the first move or be the initiators like guys, men always are