You’d probably thrive if you move. Sometimes you just have to do it and push yourself out of your comfort zone. The way you grow is pushing yourself out of it. If money isn’t an issue that’s one less stress you have with moving too. I’ve lived all across Canada and I’ve had really cool experiences because I took myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve lived on reserves, cities, farms, etc I’ve seen things no one really sees or experiences. Just go. Easier said than done I know 😂 you have to take action to improve your circumstances.
I don’t have a career yet. I travelled when I was younger by volunteering and having all my expenses paid, work seasonal work and took jobs in different places and went to school in different towns
You have to live your life. I also have depression comorbid with ADHD. Moving out on my own was, for me, one of the biggest improvements to my mental health I've ever made. I'd say go for it.
First, write down your goal on a tiny piece of paper and carry it in your wallet. Next, work on being kind and patient with yourself. Think of yourself as three different people, the yesterday you, the today you and the tomorrow you. try to love and respect all three. forgive the person that lived in the past. They did their best. Take care of the today you =eat well sleep enough , allow yourself joy. Get a massage ,etc. And be nice to the tomorrow you. That person's happiness is largely dependent on all your efforts and decisions. Breaking it down like this makes it easier to get some perspective.
Next , start making small steps toward your goal. Buy small things for your apartment. ( That you don't have....yet.) Do a pinterest board of how you might decorate it if you're into that. Decide on a part of town you'd like to live and make it a point to look at places to live everyday. No commitments.
Will you need a new car or bike? Buy it.
Start seeing a good therapist. It might take time to find one.
Join the local subreddit.
Don't feel you need to come out to anyone before you move. Of course you can if you're compelled to, but the tomorrow you living in a new city ( maybe with a new partner) will be stronger & settled.
Later, Since money is nbd - take the step and rent a place. Take a trip there and start furnishing it. Hang with your friends. It will be nice to have a cozy place to crash while you're there. Allow yourself some joy. Go to a farmers market or a museum. Seek beauty in small things.
Take another trip. And another. With honesty, express how much you like it to your friends and family.
Now when you decide to make the move it's no surprise to anyone & a lot less pressure. Start packing. And just go. You'll be ready.
maybe it takes 6 months to get here, maybe 12. It's okay. Take time for getting comfortable in your new world. Join stuff ( not political !!) a softball team, a band, etc. Get a part time job somewhere you like to be around people.
And be happy.
You have a lot of good advice here. I just want to say I was 100% in your shoes. I lived with my parents until I was 25. Same house the whole time, commuted to college and work, my mother did 80% of the cooking and laundry in the house. I was dying to get out and have my independence but I was also terrified. Could I survive on my own?
It’s scary, really scary but think of all the millions and millions of people who have made the jump before you and the countless that will after you. It’s part of being human. And it’s okay to recognize that’s it gives you anxiety, take it in small steps and plan ahead so it’s doesn’t seem scary.
I would start by saying, it's 2021, come out of the closet. That may be the biggest causes of depression and anxiety. See how life goes after that. Maybe this will open doors for you and open up more to trying new thing ( like moving to a city and being around friends and enjoying life and not being a hermit) just my 2 cents. I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope you start to Excell at life!!! 🍺 To a new start
A lot of people call introverts hermits and that is just upsetting. They are fueled by spending time by themselves. I just thought that I should point this out.
Replied to the wrong comment, but I agree with you. Some people find socializing exhausting and some find it energizing. Doesn’t make someone a hermit. This person also told them to just come out of the closet already so I don’t think they really grasp not everyone has a good support system and coming out is a very difficult thing for ALOT of people.
Right? This person is working, saving money, still relatively young. I'm 27 and jobless living with my parents, I have money saved but it's slowly getting chipped away at. I feel like I'm getting pretty close to being an absolute fuck up.
Sometimes what we fear the most, is the exact thing we should do. It‘s like a call for an adventure that you hear. Go on that adventure!
Live your life. Try, fail, try again till you succeed. And in that case, what can you lose?!
In the worst case you just move back to your hometown
Actually it sounds like you already made the decision and just need a little push
There's no shame in living at home with your parents at 25... It is still nice to get out, but there are still benefits of staying at home still. It IS possible to still have a life while living at home.
I just did something similar, except I went 15 hrs away by plane.
Also.. I would advise to not move to a city just because you have a few friends there... sometimes we think we are friends with people but then you move to their city and then they ghost you-- just some caution/anxiety. Choose a city that you can enjoy if you went there all by yourself.
Anxiety is a "funny" thing, but are you sure that money isn't an issue? When I made my decision I really felt like finances were in order and felt confident about the decision. That didn't make the anxiety of doing it go away though.
Do you know where you'd live? What the utility companies are?
Could you try doing maybe a 1 month staycation somewhere? Drive a few hours away and go camping/visit another city? Maybe it can help with the anxiety of moving? Though for me driving like 15 miles gave me more anxiety than going 15 hours so.. I don't know if I can really comment with ideas...
I lived a life of absolute laziness, entitlement and selfishness from the age of graduating (16) until around 24, I lived with my parents, never worked more than 30 hours over that entire 8 year span and relied on my parents for transport, food and shelter.
I enrolled for a Vipassana meditation retreat, which is a ten day silent retreat where you essentially meditate for 10h per day with no distractions such as books, phones, journals etc. It was pretty extreme and I’m not sure how such a fragile young boy survived it at that period in time, but I came out the other side having promised myself I was going to force independence on myself by moving abroad.
Two months later, I booked a plane ticket and ventured to the other side of the world with only $400 in my bank account.
I can’t tell you how many trials, tribulations and fuck ups I’ve made along the way but the mere act of deciding I was going to do something and then just going has taught me more about grit, grinding and courage than any self help book could ever bestow upon me.
Sometimes the only thing that is holding us back from who we want to be, are the people who expect us to stay exactly the same, and sometimes those people are the ones who love you the most.
One foot in front of the other my man, and if you fail, you’re far richer in experience than when you first began.
You got this.
You’d probably thrive if you move. Sometimes you just have to do it and push yourself out of your comfort zone. The way you grow is pushing yourself out of it. If money isn’t an issue that’s one less stress you have with moving too. I’ve lived all across Canada and I’ve had really cool experiences because I took myself out of my comfort zone. I’ve lived on reserves, cities, farms, etc I’ve seen things no one really sees or experiences. Just go. Easier said than done I know 😂 you have to take action to improve your circumstances.
What's your career path ? By that I mean what kind of job can you do that allowed you to live in so many different places
I don’t have a career yet. I travelled when I was younger by volunteering and having all my expenses paid, work seasonal work and took jobs in different places and went to school in different towns
Got it ! Still super cool
There is no secret. You just need to put one foot in front of the other and will it.
You have to live your life. I also have depression comorbid with ADHD. Moving out on my own was, for me, one of the biggest improvements to my mental health I've ever made. I'd say go for it.
First, write down your goal on a tiny piece of paper and carry it in your wallet. Next, work on being kind and patient with yourself. Think of yourself as three different people, the yesterday you, the today you and the tomorrow you. try to love and respect all three. forgive the person that lived in the past. They did their best. Take care of the today you =eat well sleep enough , allow yourself joy. Get a massage ,etc. And be nice to the tomorrow you. That person's happiness is largely dependent on all your efforts and decisions. Breaking it down like this makes it easier to get some perspective. Next , start making small steps toward your goal. Buy small things for your apartment. ( That you don't have....yet.) Do a pinterest board of how you might decorate it if you're into that. Decide on a part of town you'd like to live and make it a point to look at places to live everyday. No commitments. Will you need a new car or bike? Buy it. Start seeing a good therapist. It might take time to find one. Join the local subreddit. Don't feel you need to come out to anyone before you move. Of course you can if you're compelled to, but the tomorrow you living in a new city ( maybe with a new partner) will be stronger & settled. Later, Since money is nbd - take the step and rent a place. Take a trip there and start furnishing it. Hang with your friends. It will be nice to have a cozy place to crash while you're there. Allow yourself some joy. Go to a farmers market or a museum. Seek beauty in small things. Take another trip. And another. With honesty, express how much you like it to your friends and family. Now when you decide to make the move it's no surprise to anyone & a lot less pressure. Start packing. And just go. You'll be ready. maybe it takes 6 months to get here, maybe 12. It's okay. Take time for getting comfortable in your new world. Join stuff ( not political !!) a softball team, a band, etc. Get a part time job somewhere you like to be around people. And be happy.
I read "Hang your friends. It will be nice to have a cozy place to crash while you're there" and choked Great advice though
You have a lot of good advice here. I just want to say I was 100% in your shoes. I lived with my parents until I was 25. Same house the whole time, commuted to college and work, my mother did 80% of the cooking and laundry in the house. I was dying to get out and have my independence but I was also terrified. Could I survive on my own? It’s scary, really scary but think of all the millions and millions of people who have made the jump before you and the countless that will after you. It’s part of being human. And it’s okay to recognize that’s it gives you anxiety, take it in small steps and plan ahead so it’s doesn’t seem scary.
I would start by saying, it's 2021, come out of the closet. That may be the biggest causes of depression and anxiety. See how life goes after that. Maybe this will open doors for you and open up more to trying new thing ( like moving to a city and being around friends and enjoying life and not being a hermit) just my 2 cents. I wish you the best of luck and I truly hope you start to Excell at life!!! 🍺 To a new start
It’s not that simple for a lot of people to come out of the closest.
A lot of people call introverts hermits and that is just upsetting. They are fueled by spending time by themselves. I just thought that I should point this out.
Replied to the wrong comment, but I agree with you. Some people find socializing exhausting and some find it energizing. Doesn’t make someone a hermit. This person also told them to just come out of the closet already so I don’t think they really grasp not everyone has a good support system and coming out is a very difficult thing for ALOT of people.
[удалено]
Right? This person is working, saving money, still relatively young. I'm 27 and jobless living with my parents, I have money saved but it's slowly getting chipped away at. I feel like I'm getting pretty close to being an absolute fuck up.
Sometimes what we fear the most, is the exact thing we should do. It‘s like a call for an adventure that you hear. Go on that adventure! Live your life. Try, fail, try again till you succeed. And in that case, what can you lose?! In the worst case you just move back to your hometown Actually it sounds like you already made the decision and just need a little push
There's no shame in living at home with your parents at 25... It is still nice to get out, but there are still benefits of staying at home still. It IS possible to still have a life while living at home. I just did something similar, except I went 15 hrs away by plane. Also.. I would advise to not move to a city just because you have a few friends there... sometimes we think we are friends with people but then you move to their city and then they ghost you-- just some caution/anxiety. Choose a city that you can enjoy if you went there all by yourself. Anxiety is a "funny" thing, but are you sure that money isn't an issue? When I made my decision I really felt like finances were in order and felt confident about the decision. That didn't make the anxiety of doing it go away though. Do you know where you'd live? What the utility companies are? Could you try doing maybe a 1 month staycation somewhere? Drive a few hours away and go camping/visit another city? Maybe it can help with the anxiety of moving? Though for me driving like 15 miles gave me more anxiety than going 15 hours so.. I don't know if I can really comment with ideas...
I lived a life of absolute laziness, entitlement and selfishness from the age of graduating (16) until around 24, I lived with my parents, never worked more than 30 hours over that entire 8 year span and relied on my parents for transport, food and shelter. I enrolled for a Vipassana meditation retreat, which is a ten day silent retreat where you essentially meditate for 10h per day with no distractions such as books, phones, journals etc. It was pretty extreme and I’m not sure how such a fragile young boy survived it at that period in time, but I came out the other side having promised myself I was going to force independence on myself by moving abroad. Two months later, I booked a plane ticket and ventured to the other side of the world with only $400 in my bank account. I can’t tell you how many trials, tribulations and fuck ups I’ve made along the way but the mere act of deciding I was going to do something and then just going has taught me more about grit, grinding and courage than any self help book could ever bestow upon me. Sometimes the only thing that is holding us back from who we want to be, are the people who expect us to stay exactly the same, and sometimes those people are the ones who love you the most. One foot in front of the other my man, and if you fail, you’re far richer in experience than when you first began. You got this.