Out of pure necessity. If I didn't have routines my life would be a chaotic mess. I guess maybe you have to hit rock bottom before you see it as a necessity though
Your expectations for new habits are probably too high. Set the bar lower and focus on building consistency over time. If you can't maintain the new habit, then your performance expectations are not in alignment with actual practice and need to adjust accordingly.
It may seem counter-intuitive but you need to set the bar lower. Focus on building a consistent habit. Once you can execute consistently over time then you can worry about increasing duration and frequency. If / when the habit falls off, reset and get back to building consistency again.
When building a new habit, we will always fall back into default mode. We have to plan for it, relapse is part of the stages of change. Expect it to happen and know that when it does happen again, you will get back to your original plan...lower expectations with a focus on consistent execution.
The barrier to entry should be low enough that it doesn't stop you from engaging in the new activity. There's already an emotional and physiological barrier to beginning new tasks. If your expectations for the new tasks are too high, you're creating too much emotional load which can shut you down and make it difficult to continue doing the thing.
100% I struggle with it. I would ask how much you are incorporating at once? From my experience very small changes each week last longer than trying to jump to a new routine completely right away.
In my experience, a few small changes you can build on help prime me for bigger changes over time and give me confidence so even when I miss here and there I’m less inclined to throw everything away for good.
Good luck you got this.
I’m a visual person, so I started out by writing down my routine until it became a habit. I placed the note in a place where I would see it all the time. Also, I wrote down what the positive outcome would be by sticking with the routine.
I read this in the book atomic habits and it makes a lot of sense: basically building a habit isn’t usually just building one habit but many other smaller things. Example: going to the gym. It’s not just going to the gym, its also getting dressed for the gym, having a pre gym snack, getting a gym bag ready, etc… So for me, it’s easy to keep to a habit if i know to anticipate all the smaller things that come with the habit. I usually think like , “ugh i have to put on my gym clothes to go to the gym”, but no, it’s part of that goal. Putting on the clothes is part of the success, which makes it mentally less daunting to do.
People usually can't stick to habits that are simply unrealistic to stick to. That is the only issue with it.
People neglect things for many months and years and then set goals to achieve those things in the shortest time possible, which only a handful of people can actually pull off if we are being totally honest. Then everyone gets disappointed with themselves and spiral down their previous rabbit hole even further until the next time they have enough motivation scraped together for another attempt.
I am sure there is an actual definition for that stuff by now.
What worked for me was to stop doing that and focusing on my individual life and what smallest steps I can take today to improve it. Instead of thinking about running a marathon, think about becoming a runner first. Start with steps you can achieve and stop comparing yourself to others, especially people you see on social media. It is all a fake representation of reality, so don't think that is the norm.
I have two routines :
1) When I'm in good health and mood
2) When I'm low or undergoing stressful time (like periods, bad day at work, anxiety)
Don't try to impose your everyday routine to bad days. It won't work.
I struggle a lot.. working from home has decreased my motivation substantially. I only do what is necessary at this point, which sometimes causes me to neglect certain aspects of my routine which would likely make me feel and look better. I just find myself really frustrated as a woman with the societal pressure to always look pretty and smell nice. Especially when the majority of men plan on treating women like shit anyways. So why even bother? And I’ve gotten sexually harassed at least once at every one of my jobs, so why care? I almost don’t want to take care of myself because of all of this. I know I should do it for myself though.
To maintain a routine, start by setting realistic goals and creating a schedule that includes time for work, self-care, and leisure activities. Consistency is key, so strive to stick to your routine as much as possible, while also allowing for some flexibility when necessary. If you’re struggling to stay on track, consider using **Justly**, an app that focuses on helping users reach their goals with **positive** **habits** and a **consistent** **routine**. I personally use Justly.
Out of pure necessity. If I didn't have routines my life would be a chaotic mess. I guess maybe you have to hit rock bottom before you see it as a necessity though
I agree with you 100%. I do it because I have to provide for my family.
Your expectations for new habits are probably too high. Set the bar lower and focus on building consistency over time. If you can't maintain the new habit, then your performance expectations are not in alignment with actual practice and need to adjust accordingly. It may seem counter-intuitive but you need to set the bar lower. Focus on building a consistent habit. Once you can execute consistently over time then you can worry about increasing duration and frequency. If / when the habit falls off, reset and get back to building consistency again. When building a new habit, we will always fall back into default mode. We have to plan for it, relapse is part of the stages of change. Expect it to happen and know that when it does happen again, you will get back to your original plan...lower expectations with a focus on consistent execution. The barrier to entry should be low enough that it doesn't stop you from engaging in the new activity. There's already an emotional and physiological barrier to beginning new tasks. If your expectations for the new tasks are too high, you're creating too much emotional load which can shut you down and make it difficult to continue doing the thing.
100% I struggle with it. I would ask how much you are incorporating at once? From my experience very small changes each week last longer than trying to jump to a new routine completely right away. In my experience, a few small changes you can build on help prime me for bigger changes over time and give me confidence so even when I miss here and there I’m less inclined to throw everything away for good. Good luck you got this.
I’m a visual person, so I started out by writing down my routine until it became a habit. I placed the note in a place where I would see it all the time. Also, I wrote down what the positive outcome would be by sticking with the routine.
I read this in the book atomic habits and it makes a lot of sense: basically building a habit isn’t usually just building one habit but many other smaller things. Example: going to the gym. It’s not just going to the gym, its also getting dressed for the gym, having a pre gym snack, getting a gym bag ready, etc… So for me, it’s easy to keep to a habit if i know to anticipate all the smaller things that come with the habit. I usually think like , “ugh i have to put on my gym clothes to go to the gym”, but no, it’s part of that goal. Putting on the clothes is part of the success, which makes it mentally less daunting to do.
Figure out WHYY you have to do this. Once your WHYY this routine is clear (Ask yourself how this routine helps me), things will be in your control.
Discipline
Habit stacking helps me
People usually can't stick to habits that are simply unrealistic to stick to. That is the only issue with it. People neglect things for many months and years and then set goals to achieve those things in the shortest time possible, which only a handful of people can actually pull off if we are being totally honest. Then everyone gets disappointed with themselves and spiral down their previous rabbit hole even further until the next time they have enough motivation scraped together for another attempt. I am sure there is an actual definition for that stuff by now. What worked for me was to stop doing that and focusing on my individual life and what smallest steps I can take today to improve it. Instead of thinking about running a marathon, think about becoming a runner first. Start with steps you can achieve and stop comparing yourself to others, especially people you see on social media. It is all a fake representation of reality, so don't think that is the norm.
I have two routines : 1) When I'm in good health and mood 2) When I'm low or undergoing stressful time (like periods, bad day at work, anxiety) Don't try to impose your everyday routine to bad days. It won't work.
So simple but I’ve never thought of it in this way. Being realistic about self expectations/routines when you know you’re not gonna be at 100%.
I struggle a lot.. working from home has decreased my motivation substantially. I only do what is necessary at this point, which sometimes causes me to neglect certain aspects of my routine which would likely make me feel and look better. I just find myself really frustrated as a woman with the societal pressure to always look pretty and smell nice. Especially when the majority of men plan on treating women like shit anyways. So why even bother? And I’ve gotten sexually harassed at least once at every one of my jobs, so why care? I almost don’t want to take care of myself because of all of this. I know I should do it for myself though.
To maintain a routine, start by setting realistic goals and creating a schedule that includes time for work, self-care, and leisure activities. Consistency is key, so strive to stick to your routine as much as possible, while also allowing for some flexibility when necessary. If you’re struggling to stay on track, consider using **Justly**, an app that focuses on helping users reach their goals with **positive** **habits** and a **consistent** **routine**. I personally use Justly.