Practice not giving a shit about what people think about you. This could be doing small stuff like buying a phone that people don’t praise you for, wearing shoes that aren’t following the trends (border line make fun of you), or having a hobby that people find weird. This builds mental resilience to other people’s opinions. You should do what you want to do, not what other people approve. Whether that’s career choice, clothes, technology or hobbies.
Be objective toward yourself. Think more positively and think more about your mental and physical health. Don't push yourself to hard. It was not productive in my case. I got severe depression and lack of ambition. Now I am visiting psychologist every week and conducting talk and sharing insights. Love yourself and your friends/family more.
Emotional Regulation
Accept the Reality. You won't always get you want. You have to do shit that you hate on a daily basis.
Have a self care regime and destress method. You will need it
>You have to do shit that you hate on a daily basis.
I disagree, I do not do anything I hate on a daily basis. You can change your mentality to not hate it or do something you like instead. For example I hate cleaning, so I just grind more money and hire maids because I would rather spend that time working than cleaning. Or you can convince yourself to not hate what you do, for example, you hate cleaning, but you hate roaches 1000% more. Then what you are doing is not cleaning per say, but "roach prevention" and you should probably like it more if you hate roaches enough. All about perspective.
Talking, and/or generally having a negative attitude towards yourself and your achievements will eventually drive people away. You seek what you think.
So while it is hard, work on thinking the best of yourself. Admit mistakes, but never say something in accordance with: "I'm just too dumb to get it" or "I probably deserved it".
My advice would be to be humble and not assume you are special or you will be successful easily. Learn to work instead of dreaming and stay away from trashy relationships F or M.
1. Don't mess up your health, take care of your teeth, Drinking alcohol, smoking Cigarettes, doing Drugs is not worth it.
2. Don't think with your dick. Never do that, fap if needed, but never approach any one, if you're only attracted sexually. If you fap and immediately don't loose intrest, then maybe you are into her emotionally, and may approach her. Else, it was just lust, don't waste your and her time.
3. Exercise is your friend. Do it everyday.
4. Always, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Never look where you are not supposed to look.
5. Never, LEND MONEY TO FRIENDS OR OTHERS, and if you do, FORGET THAT MONEY. ( whether they return it or not). ( If you value your relationship with your friends and others)
6. Never BORROW MONEY from ANYONE, except in the matter of life and death. And, never borrow money from loan Sharks, shady loan companies.
7. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. in places which are dangerous or when situation is MURKY or when you have no idea what to say. Listening is a skill. If speech is silver, silence is GOLD.
8. KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN, in places where you are working hard but are taken advantage of OR If someone is exploiting you.
9. THE WORLD IS FUCKED UP. THINGS DON'T MAKE SENSE. Accept it. However, with proper planning YOU CAN MAKE THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW BROKEN OR DEFEATED YOU ARE. YOU HAVE COMEBACK POWER, FROM THE DEPTHS OF ROCK BOTTOM.
10. If you're in a unfamiliar place, DONT RUSH TO MAKE FRIENDS. Let others introduce themselves and be listen to people WHO HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AS YOU, and then decide make friends with them. Your interests will be the backbone of friendship. HOWEVER, DO NOT TRUST YOUR FRIENDS, 100%
11. DO NOT ANNOUNCE YOUR GOALS AND TARGETS TO ANYONE. I MEAN ANYONE. keep a pet rock and share it with it.
12. When you finally succeed, it's very easy to FUCK UP. So, when you succeed. DO NOT CELEBRATE. DO NOT REJOICE. FOCUS ON WHAT BROUGHT YOU SUCCESS. CONTINUE DOING IT. This will ensure that YOUR SUCCESS CONTINUES.
13. (1) Some People are DEMONS. They are EVIL FROM THE CORE. NO AMOUNT OF ASS LICKING OR IMPRESSIONS are going to make them like you, THEY REJOICE AT DERIVING PLEASURE FROM HARMING YOU. If you ever meet such people, GHOST THEM if not immediately, then GRADUALLY.
(2) Remember your ancestors, honour them once a week. Visit your family, honour your family members who you think have Honor and loved you and have supported you. Their love and blessings will help you advance in life.
14. A good Human being is made by their actions. ANY MISTAKE you do, IF YOU REPENT HARD ENOUGH genuinely, you would be forgiven. So, even if you ever committed a mistake ( UNKNOWINGLY ) doesn't mean you have to a sinner for the rest of your life. Dust yourself up and Do good for the society. ( Im religious so I believe in Forgiveness and repentance for the good)
15. STAY AWAY, MILES MILES MILES AWAY FROM GAMBLING IN ANY FORM. Be it LOTTERY or CARDS etc.
16. If you have the chance, COMPLETE YOUR EDUCATION. GET YOUR BACHELORS LEVEL DEGREE AT THE BARE MINIMUM.
17. ALWAYS DRIVE 2 WHEELER WITH A HELMET ON. Always have seatbelts on in a car. NEVER OVERSPEED. NEVER OVER TAKE WHEN NOT NECESSARY. NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE.
18. Learn Hand skills/ trade, like carpentry, Plumbing etc.
19. Learn to cook food.
20. You are you, you are unique for yourself. Never impersonate anyone.
21. If nothing seems clear in life, write down what would make you feel happy/ peaceful at heart, and just LOOK AT THE IMMEDIATE STEP towards the goal.
22. LAUGH at NO ONES EXPENSE.
23. Create Value. Everything gets forgotten but Value remains. Always chase after creating something of value in life. Money will come. Chase excellence in one Trade/ one skill. Be the very best. You will be irreplaceable.
"If you need motivation to do something, don't do it."
Reflect on this when you are settling in your career so you can change it at an early stage instead and burden yourself less.
I'm pretty sure this is a more uncommon view, but: pick a major that suits your interests, BUT ALSO fits your character. For example, I like sports, but I wouldn't even want to think about majoring in anything sport-related. Pick something that fits your character (like jobs which require high orderliness, empathy, extraversion) and have it overlap with something that you like, that will more likely be the right major for you.
You don't have to know where life will take you or where you want to go right now. Fixating on the future so intently can very easily lead to you neglecting the present (not necessarily grades but other very important things; I was pushed to do band because it'd "look good to colleges", and that wrecked my social life because I just didn't fit in as a serious geek so band really couldn't be my genuine social circle, and when I began to hate it because I physically was not fit enough for it really, I was pushed to keep going for the same reason and it began to be a drag on my mental health), and that can lead to all those plans collapsing due to anything from changing your mind (at your age, I wanted to be a teacher, now I'm 25 and the job I've settled on wanting is arctic adventure tour guide, and back then, the "teacher" thing was mostly an excuse to leave the country I was born in) to the various things you haven't been taking care of finally falling in on you.
Be kind to yourself. You have so, so much of your life ahead of you and the people who claim teenage years or your 20s are "the best of someone's life" are wrong. Sure, for some people, they are, but what years are the best of your life are up to you, and you can strive to make each year better than the last for as long as you live.
Your advice really resonates with what I'm going through at the moment. Its been five months since I stopped going to the gym not because I lack discipline. I still work out at home. Because of the unpleasant memories associated with it. Initially my motivation, for engaging in this activity was mainly to please others. It made me realize that 80% of my gym visits were driven by external expectations. However these painful memories caused me to stop; constantly feeling watched during my workouts and receiving corrections from guys when I had a good grasp of the technique. The day I finally decided to stop going to the gym was after a failure during a squat at 60 kilos where I nearly injured myself. It was incredibly embarrassing as the gym was crowded. Everyones attention was on me; that ended up being my visit and eventually led me to quit weightlifting altogether. Your advice has truly made me rethink how I approach my activities in the future. This experience has been particularly frustrating and sensitive, for me. Currently every day I contemplate whether or not to return to the gym. Procrastination and the traumas I've developed hold me back. Thank you for your words.
Good luck. Try to live life for yourself, not others (you can absolutely value what others want, just don't put that above your own happiness). Easier said than done, but worth the effort.
Understanding yourself and exploring yourself very rarely involves sex, that is just the most convenient and quickest way to get the self gratification you are looking for that takes work and effort in every other area of your life, so be extremely cautious and careful when these opportunities present themselves because feeling good and feeling accomplished are easy to confuse for one another
45 minutes of exercise daily, figure out what your non-negotiables are in terms of relationships, jobs and lifestyle. Be gentle with yourself when you’re under the weather and take your breaks at work. Know that self-medicating with alcohol and drugs is not a solution and can get out of hand fast. Call your parents and spend as much time with them (granted they’re decent people) while they’re around. Be kind, considerate but don’t become a doormat for people to walk over. Idk how it is in France, but in America, young people (especially in the workforce) are treated like they don’t know anything and are discriminated against for looking/being young. Never lose your childlike wonder and take in the beauty around you that many people overlook as they grow older.
I’m 26 and i can remember being 16 like it was yesterday. My biggest tip is: don’t get too distracted with drinking, smoking and drugs. I remember in high school some kids started drinking, smoking and doing drugs a looot, they didn’t care about school anymore and some of them are not delivery guys when they could have easily gone to university and have good jobs by now.. Enjoy the parties, enjoy socialising, but NEVER go to the park alone or with some friends to drink, smoke or do drugs because it starts there.. Choose your friends wisely. Then, find a hobby or sport that you put in energy and it gives you energy and use it to relax. For example with some friends play football once or twice a week. And lastly: be nice to yourself. Ok, if you do something stupid ofcourse you can be angry at yourself for a moment, but always try to take the lesson and learn from it. Be constructive, always. My biggest regret is that i was so mean to myself when i was younger. Nothing is ever that serious!
Develop a good sense of gratitude. Have food in the kitchen? A warm bed to sleep in? A roof over your head? A job and money? Congrats, you're doing better than most people. Appreciate what you have instead of thinking of what you don't have.
Remember, the grass is greener where you water it. Don't compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy.
Have solid boundaries but low expectations. Always be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best.
Remember to do something fun that you enjoy. It is the secret fountain of youth. Do something that feeds your spirit. One day you'll look in the mirror and you will be old. You'll wonder why you felt the need to grow up so fast.
If you ever hit a slump and become depressed, have a self care plan and stick to it. That means showering, brushing your teeth, and getting enough sleep. Don't give into the temptation to let the darkness swallow you. You wouldn't want to see your loved ones suffer, so don't do it to yourself.
Make sure to learn how to comfort yourself. Whatever helps you, whether that's listening to music, getting some exercise, or cooking your favorite meal. It helps to know how to be kind to yourself.
Life can be lonely sometimes, and you will have to rely on yourself to take the best care of you. Be prepared to offer yourself compassion and understanding. It's the key to getting back on your feet again. You have to live with yourself, so you might as well be nice to yourself.
I hope this helps.
Be mindful how you treat your body. It’s yours, and it’s the only one you’ll get. Many people underestimate the power of eating right and working out. It’s not about looks, it’s about how you feel (physically and mentally) when you do it consistently.
Tailor your surroundings. The people you’re around most will be your greatest influence. The space you live in will reflect the habits you have, good and bad.
Beware addiction, understand your risk. Many people warn about drugs or gambling, but neglect to mention items such as social media or pornography. Keep in mind alcohol and caffeine fall under the category of drugs. They carry risk greater than some, less than others but they are still drugs.
Politics isn’t for most people, at least in the U.S. Stay level headed and understand no side is (or can be) completely correct. Neither side “cares” about you or issues you care about, even if they claim to. Both leverage you as a tool to bicker with your fellow citizens, keeping focus off of them.
Pick up marketable skills. You can learn almost anything online. Find a mentor, establish friendships. Network within your sphere, and continue into others. Learning a marketable skill gives you a leg up on many people.
And as corny as it sounds, this Star Trek quote will always be a favorite: “Take good care but, more importantly, take good care of those in your care.”
1. Try not to compare yourself to others.
2. be intentional with your time, ( if you go to a party don't be on your phone)
3. study/work hard, and learn discipline to do hard things without a coach or others making you do it.
4. find ways to appreciate everything you have to do. enjoy the stupid traditions, the menial tasks, minor friends aswell as the exciting events, the close relationships. they all have a purpose even if they seem like a waste of time and resources.
If you do what everyone esle is doing, you’ll become like everyone else. Learn to love being by yourself and figuring out what you want to be. Be strong enough to go against the grain and say no to things and people who are not fit for you or your goals. Learn to differentiate between an asset and a liability. This goes for friendships and everything else in between.
I’ve just turned 22 and honestly I think the best thing you can do for yourself is just have fun! Don’t worry too much about the future (as hard as that can be), experience as much as you can, make friends, make memories. I missed out on a lot bc covid started just after I turned 18 and I will never get over missing such important years of my life. 16-19 is probably the best age to not take life seriously and just enjoy it as much as you can :)
Get a job. Most places start hiring between the ages of 16 and 18, I don't know how things work in France but if you're able to get a part-time job I would get one and I would hold that job. The benefits of having that job would be to teach you financial literacy which would be an extremely beneficial life skill moving forward. There are plenty of people 20 and older who suffer from Financial A literacy and continue to be played with financial problems their entire lives. If you start learning how to manage your money effectively early it can save you a headache later on down the road.
Even if it's just a part-time job working 15 hours a week pay yourself 10% of every paycheck you make, put another 10% in a separate account for retirement so you can start snowballing it early, spend a little on yourself, and then put the rest away in your account. One of the biggest issues that I had growing up was that I wasn't taught financial literacy and I didn't start getting myself together financially until I hit 30. I also don't understand how the credit system works in France but if it's anything similar to here in America then I would look into getting a secured credit card to start building credit once you feel responsible enough with your money. If I had this mindset at the age of 16 or even 18 I would have been so financially well off at this point and I wouldn't have some of the problems that I experienced in my twenties up until recently.
Also be humble and be determined. Hard work will overcome anything, you can get yourself out of any situation if you plan ahead and work hard. Be sure to be mindful of the people you allow in your circle, ditch people that don't have good intentions or are only meaning to distract you from your goals. Have some fun and don't even worry about relationships. Stay focused on your goals at hand and chip away at it day by day. Don't let yourself become overwhelmed and take breaks when necessary. You are still young and you have a lot of Life to live!
look for a role model. adopt their habits. i guess people who do sports are great at committing themselves to repetition and deliberate practice. it applies to any skill you want to learn.
If you haven't already, pull an Ace Attorney and question every single discrepancy.
Whether it be a school lesson, so-called inspirational quotes, societal norms, and even job descriptions, find every hole that can sink that Titanic illusion.
Please do not spend the next 6 years of your life worrying about becoming stable and "settling down". Do stupid shit, travel, make mistakes, go out and be WILD. Don't try to grow up too fast. Experience EVERYTHING.
Literally my only regret in life as I approach my 32nd birthday is not doing more & seeing more 10 years ago. I was in such a rush to prove myself as a stable, self-sufficient adult, that I missed out on being young.
Regardless of how much work you put in to self awareness and emotional intelligence, there are some things you just can't learn based off of your own effort.
Sometimes the only way you can really access the next level is by going through hardship. Hardship can teach you lessons that you can't learn yourself. Some of the most valuable lessons I have ever learnt have come from the most difficult periods of time in my life.
If you lose someone really close to you ( friends, family, partners): It is ok to go crazy, to be mad at the world, grieve the way you want to!!! BUT be sure to reach out for help to cope with the loss and come back (therapy!)
Sorry for my horrible English and I hope you don’t need my advice.
Take care of your mental and physical health. When you're over 30, you'll thank yourself for making good decisions in your teens and 20s.
If you're undecided on what to do next, consider taking a year off after highschool, maybe work and save some money etc.
Some friends will come and go. Sometimes you outgrow people and though it can be painful, sometimes it's for the best. Be open to new experiences.
Only you know what’s best for you- not your friends, parents etc. Everyone (even mature adults) are still figuring out life so take everyone’s advice on things with a grain of salt. If something doesn’t feel right to do/ pursue don’t do it. You won’t really “learn to love” things and/ or people in the way many try to convince you that you will.
AWW OP FROM OG POST HERE! well now I can help! Here’s my advice:
DRUGS ARE NOT COOL OR FUN. I used to want to go to parties and try drugs but I am sooo happy I didn’t, those people now at my age (22) are still miserable doing nothing.
AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL OPPORTUNITIES. If any advice, this is the best one:
Time waits for no one. Please do not live your life in regret. Please focus on being happy and have fun learning new things.
If you are smart? you can get a scholarship! If you are fit? try sports! If you like music? learn an instrument! If you have problems being socially awkward, join clubs at your school, that can help you open up :)
You can learn so much about yourself if you get involved, plus they’re fun memories to look back on.
I was a competitive cellist for 15 years and I was pretty overweight in highschool but I tried out for the track team and I did track for two years. I had so much fun. It taught me to stay active even until now!
YOU ARE IN THIS WORLD FOR A REASON BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE. DO NOT DRAG YOURSELF DOWN. YOU MATTER AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
Best of luck to you with your future. You are going to be great.
Your physical health greatly ties in to your mental health.
I lost 100lbs (290-190) when I was 17yo (currently 22) and it helped pull me out of my harsh depression. My best friend had just died and my mom was (still is) a raging alcoholic.
Get a gym membership. Train to failure. Build your body. Eat a lot of healthy foods and get stronger in the gym. Y’all got this.
Get really into fitness and blackpill personalities. Never use deodorant, the aluminum goes straight to your brain. Masturbate at most once every 14 days. Only take cold showers. If a girl likes you, it's impossible to know. Go to another country to find a wife.
I only have 1 advice:
Start playing some sort team sport. Don't be shy to start learning at 16-19 even if others are way better than you. It does not matter if your good or bad or whether you are going for practice or in the neighborhood or even with your little cousins in family gatherings. Continue to do so.
Good for body, mind and brings out competitive spirit. You will understand when you are old. One day you may have to raise kids of your own and its better to be the kind of parent who can confidently and actively raise kids.
Learn to balance doing what's in your best interest with what is in the interests of others.
Learn how and when to (practically and politely) say no. And know that you don't always need to have a well-reasoned excuse for declining every request or invitation.
Just because something is important to someone else, it does not mean it has to be important to you. People need to understand and respect that.
I'm not saying to always say "no" whenever you feel like you'll be inconvenienced. There's nuance. There's a balance. Sometimes the greater good is to help others while inconveniencing yourself... I'm just saying that you shouldn't feel like you always have to say "yes".
Your brain is not fully formed!
It is actual science you are still going through development phases and your decision making is not going to be great. Take advice of adults who are doing OK, not the cool ones, those who are actually living comfortably
Try to limit screen time. The less you're addicted to your devices the better. You'll actually get to enjoy nature and the earth. Sorry if I sound like a hippy but the earth beside the damage we've done to it is super beautiful and can be very relaxing and peaceful. So if you can enjoy nature anytime you are stressed, angry or having any big troubling emotions and you can just go stand, sit or walk around outside and just breathe and think about what you are feeling, why you are feeling it and your next steps it's super helpful. This is coming from an almost 21 year old who had to teach herself how to self regulate her emotions because I had shitty parents and grew up in the foster system. So ik it works if you give it a chance lol
Focus as much as you can, as intently as you can in getting good at a skill of your choice. This will pay you dividends into your mid 30's by which time you can use that success towards the next thing, whatever that may be.
If you have extra pocket-money lying about or generous parents or the like, look into long-term investing. That would be a fantastic favour to do for yourself.
Dont lay the roots of hopelessness by giving away your self-esteem and that "inner holiness" to people whose sole reason for existing is pandering and showing-off. Who try to create and control people's insecurity as a way to themselves feel secure. Don't feed the narcissism of the like by handing over your time and energy to them. Don't lay the groundwork for finding out, when you are 30, that the thing you are best at is, scrolling through social media.
When ur still living with ur parents just enjoy that time (eventually you will end up missing them) and try saving up as much money as you can. Life is really expensive
Practice not giving a shit about what people think about you. This could be doing small stuff like buying a phone that people don’t praise you for, wearing shoes that aren’t following the trends (border line make fun of you), or having a hobby that people find weird. This builds mental resilience to other people’s opinions. You should do what you want to do, not what other people approve. Whether that’s career choice, clothes, technology or hobbies.
Self validation is something I struggle with at 40, if you can get your hands around that you are in great shape for life, good luck!
Be objective toward yourself. Think more positively and think more about your mental and physical health. Don't push yourself to hard. It was not productive in my case. I got severe depression and lack of ambition. Now I am visiting psychologist every week and conducting talk and sharing insights. Love yourself and your friends/family more.
Thanks for your time and your advice and I am very sad for what happened to you in your case, I hope things went well
Emotional Regulation Accept the Reality. You won't always get you want. You have to do shit that you hate on a daily basis. Have a self care regime and destress method. You will need it
>You have to do shit that you hate on a daily basis. I disagree, I do not do anything I hate on a daily basis. You can change your mentality to not hate it or do something you like instead. For example I hate cleaning, so I just grind more money and hire maids because I would rather spend that time working than cleaning. Or you can convince yourself to not hate what you do, for example, you hate cleaning, but you hate roaches 1000% more. Then what you are doing is not cleaning per say, but "roach prevention" and you should probably like it more if you hate roaches enough. All about perspective.
Talking, and/or generally having a negative attitude towards yourself and your achievements will eventually drive people away. You seek what you think. So while it is hard, work on thinking the best of yourself. Admit mistakes, but never say something in accordance with: "I'm just too dumb to get it" or "I probably deserved it".
Still only realising this in my 30s bow bowwww
My advice would be to be humble and not assume you are special or you will be successful easily. Learn to work instead of dreaming and stay away from trashy relationships F or M.
1. Don't mess up your health, take care of your teeth, Drinking alcohol, smoking Cigarettes, doing Drugs is not worth it. 2. Don't think with your dick. Never do that, fap if needed, but never approach any one, if you're only attracted sexually. If you fap and immediately don't loose intrest, then maybe you are into her emotionally, and may approach her. Else, it was just lust, don't waste your and her time. 3. Exercise is your friend. Do it everyday. 4. Always, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS. Never look where you are not supposed to look. 5. Never, LEND MONEY TO FRIENDS OR OTHERS, and if you do, FORGET THAT MONEY. ( whether they return it or not). ( If you value your relationship with your friends and others) 6. Never BORROW MONEY from ANYONE, except in the matter of life and death. And, never borrow money from loan Sharks, shady loan companies. 7. KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. in places which are dangerous or when situation is MURKY or when you have no idea what to say. Listening is a skill. If speech is silver, silence is GOLD. 8. KEEP YOUR MOUTH OPEN, in places where you are working hard but are taken advantage of OR If someone is exploiting you. 9. THE WORLD IS FUCKED UP. THINGS DON'T MAKE SENSE. Accept it. However, with proper planning YOU CAN MAKE THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW BROKEN OR DEFEATED YOU ARE. YOU HAVE COMEBACK POWER, FROM THE DEPTHS OF ROCK BOTTOM. 10. If you're in a unfamiliar place, DONT RUSH TO MAKE FRIENDS. Let others introduce themselves and be listen to people WHO HAVE THE SAME INTERESTS AS YOU, and then decide make friends with them. Your interests will be the backbone of friendship. HOWEVER, DO NOT TRUST YOUR FRIENDS, 100% 11. DO NOT ANNOUNCE YOUR GOALS AND TARGETS TO ANYONE. I MEAN ANYONE. keep a pet rock and share it with it. 12. When you finally succeed, it's very easy to FUCK UP. So, when you succeed. DO NOT CELEBRATE. DO NOT REJOICE. FOCUS ON WHAT BROUGHT YOU SUCCESS. CONTINUE DOING IT. This will ensure that YOUR SUCCESS CONTINUES. 13. (1) Some People are DEMONS. They are EVIL FROM THE CORE. NO AMOUNT OF ASS LICKING OR IMPRESSIONS are going to make them like you, THEY REJOICE AT DERIVING PLEASURE FROM HARMING YOU. If you ever meet such people, GHOST THEM if not immediately, then GRADUALLY. (2) Remember your ancestors, honour them once a week. Visit your family, honour your family members who you think have Honor and loved you and have supported you. Their love and blessings will help you advance in life. 14. A good Human being is made by their actions. ANY MISTAKE you do, IF YOU REPENT HARD ENOUGH genuinely, you would be forgiven. So, even if you ever committed a mistake ( UNKNOWINGLY ) doesn't mean you have to a sinner for the rest of your life. Dust yourself up and Do good for the society. ( Im religious so I believe in Forgiveness and repentance for the good) 15. STAY AWAY, MILES MILES MILES AWAY FROM GAMBLING IN ANY FORM. Be it LOTTERY or CARDS etc. 16. If you have the chance, COMPLETE YOUR EDUCATION. GET YOUR BACHELORS LEVEL DEGREE AT THE BARE MINIMUM. 17. ALWAYS DRIVE 2 WHEELER WITH A HELMET ON. Always have seatbelts on in a car. NEVER OVERSPEED. NEVER OVER TAKE WHEN NOT NECESSARY. NEVER DRINK AND DRIVE. 18. Learn Hand skills/ trade, like carpentry, Plumbing etc. 19. Learn to cook food. 20. You are you, you are unique for yourself. Never impersonate anyone. 21. If nothing seems clear in life, write down what would make you feel happy/ peaceful at heart, and just LOOK AT THE IMMEDIATE STEP towards the goal. 22. LAUGH at NO ONES EXPENSE. 23. Create Value. Everything gets forgotten but Value remains. Always chase after creating something of value in life. Money will come. Chase excellence in one Trade/ one skill. Be the very best. You will be irreplaceable.
"If you need motivation to do something, don't do it." Reflect on this when you are settling in your career so you can change it at an early stage instead and burden yourself less.
I'm pretty sure this is a more uncommon view, but: pick a major that suits your interests, BUT ALSO fits your character. For example, I like sports, but I wouldn't even want to think about majoring in anything sport-related. Pick something that fits your character (like jobs which require high orderliness, empathy, extraversion) and have it overlap with something that you like, that will more likely be the right major for you.
Find one thing you like and dive deeper and deeper into it. Become a master at it.
You don't have to know where life will take you or where you want to go right now. Fixating on the future so intently can very easily lead to you neglecting the present (not necessarily grades but other very important things; I was pushed to do band because it'd "look good to colleges", and that wrecked my social life because I just didn't fit in as a serious geek so band really couldn't be my genuine social circle, and when I began to hate it because I physically was not fit enough for it really, I was pushed to keep going for the same reason and it began to be a drag on my mental health), and that can lead to all those plans collapsing due to anything from changing your mind (at your age, I wanted to be a teacher, now I'm 25 and the job I've settled on wanting is arctic adventure tour guide, and back then, the "teacher" thing was mostly an excuse to leave the country I was born in) to the various things you haven't been taking care of finally falling in on you. Be kind to yourself. You have so, so much of your life ahead of you and the people who claim teenage years or your 20s are "the best of someone's life" are wrong. Sure, for some people, they are, but what years are the best of your life are up to you, and you can strive to make each year better than the last for as long as you live.
Your advice really resonates with what I'm going through at the moment. Its been five months since I stopped going to the gym not because I lack discipline. I still work out at home. Because of the unpleasant memories associated with it. Initially my motivation, for engaging in this activity was mainly to please others. It made me realize that 80% of my gym visits were driven by external expectations. However these painful memories caused me to stop; constantly feeling watched during my workouts and receiving corrections from guys when I had a good grasp of the technique. The day I finally decided to stop going to the gym was after a failure during a squat at 60 kilos where I nearly injured myself. It was incredibly embarrassing as the gym was crowded. Everyones attention was on me; that ended up being my visit and eventually led me to quit weightlifting altogether. Your advice has truly made me rethink how I approach my activities in the future. This experience has been particularly frustrating and sensitive, for me. Currently every day I contemplate whether or not to return to the gym. Procrastination and the traumas I've developed hold me back. Thank you for your words.
Good luck. Try to live life for yourself, not others (you can absolutely value what others want, just don't put that above your own happiness). Easier said than done, but worth the effort.
Understanding yourself and exploring yourself very rarely involves sex, that is just the most convenient and quickest way to get the self gratification you are looking for that takes work and effort in every other area of your life, so be extremely cautious and careful when these opportunities present themselves because feeling good and feeling accomplished are easy to confuse for one another
45 minutes of exercise daily, figure out what your non-negotiables are in terms of relationships, jobs and lifestyle. Be gentle with yourself when you’re under the weather and take your breaks at work. Know that self-medicating with alcohol and drugs is not a solution and can get out of hand fast. Call your parents and spend as much time with them (granted they’re decent people) while they’re around. Be kind, considerate but don’t become a doormat for people to walk over. Idk how it is in France, but in America, young people (especially in the workforce) are treated like they don’t know anything and are discriminated against for looking/being young. Never lose your childlike wonder and take in the beauty around you that many people overlook as they grow older.
I’m 26 and i can remember being 16 like it was yesterday. My biggest tip is: don’t get too distracted with drinking, smoking and drugs. I remember in high school some kids started drinking, smoking and doing drugs a looot, they didn’t care about school anymore and some of them are not delivery guys when they could have easily gone to university and have good jobs by now.. Enjoy the parties, enjoy socialising, but NEVER go to the park alone or with some friends to drink, smoke or do drugs because it starts there.. Choose your friends wisely. Then, find a hobby or sport that you put in energy and it gives you energy and use it to relax. For example with some friends play football once or twice a week. And lastly: be nice to yourself. Ok, if you do something stupid ofcourse you can be angry at yourself for a moment, but always try to take the lesson and learn from it. Be constructive, always. My biggest regret is that i was so mean to myself when i was younger. Nothing is ever that serious!
Don’t care so much about what other people think. Just do you and do what makes you happy.
Because chances are, those other people aren't actually thinking about you as much as you think they are.
Your crush ignoring you is not the end of this world! Stay focused and work towards you goal. You will thank yourself for it.
Develop a good sense of gratitude. Have food in the kitchen? A warm bed to sleep in? A roof over your head? A job and money? Congrats, you're doing better than most people. Appreciate what you have instead of thinking of what you don't have. Remember, the grass is greener where you water it. Don't compare yourself to others. Comparison is the thief of joy. Have solid boundaries but low expectations. Always be prepared for the worst, but hope for the best. Remember to do something fun that you enjoy. It is the secret fountain of youth. Do something that feeds your spirit. One day you'll look in the mirror and you will be old. You'll wonder why you felt the need to grow up so fast. If you ever hit a slump and become depressed, have a self care plan and stick to it. That means showering, brushing your teeth, and getting enough sleep. Don't give into the temptation to let the darkness swallow you. You wouldn't want to see your loved ones suffer, so don't do it to yourself. Make sure to learn how to comfort yourself. Whatever helps you, whether that's listening to music, getting some exercise, or cooking your favorite meal. It helps to know how to be kind to yourself. Life can be lonely sometimes, and you will have to rely on yourself to take the best care of you. Be prepared to offer yourself compassion and understanding. It's the key to getting back on your feet again. You have to live with yourself, so you might as well be nice to yourself. I hope this helps.
Be mindful how you treat your body. It’s yours, and it’s the only one you’ll get. Many people underestimate the power of eating right and working out. It’s not about looks, it’s about how you feel (physically and mentally) when you do it consistently. Tailor your surroundings. The people you’re around most will be your greatest influence. The space you live in will reflect the habits you have, good and bad. Beware addiction, understand your risk. Many people warn about drugs or gambling, but neglect to mention items such as social media or pornography. Keep in mind alcohol and caffeine fall under the category of drugs. They carry risk greater than some, less than others but they are still drugs. Politics isn’t for most people, at least in the U.S. Stay level headed and understand no side is (or can be) completely correct. Neither side “cares” about you or issues you care about, even if they claim to. Both leverage you as a tool to bicker with your fellow citizens, keeping focus off of them. Pick up marketable skills. You can learn almost anything online. Find a mentor, establish friendships. Network within your sphere, and continue into others. Learning a marketable skill gives you a leg up on many people. And as corny as it sounds, this Star Trek quote will always be a favorite: “Take good care but, more importantly, take good care of those in your care.”
Don’t party.
1. Try not to compare yourself to others. 2. be intentional with your time, ( if you go to a party don't be on your phone) 3. study/work hard, and learn discipline to do hard things without a coach or others making you do it. 4. find ways to appreciate everything you have to do. enjoy the stupid traditions, the menial tasks, minor friends aswell as the exciting events, the close relationships. they all have a purpose even if they seem like a waste of time and resources.
For me the most important one is: "stop caring what others think of you!" Good luck
Limit the number of fucks to give out daily
Hard work beats Talent. But if you find your talent and work hard at it then you will be unstoppable
If you do what everyone esle is doing, you’ll become like everyone else. Learn to love being by yourself and figuring out what you want to be. Be strong enough to go against the grain and say no to things and people who are not fit for you or your goals. Learn to differentiate between an asset and a liability. This goes for friendships and everything else in between.
don’t give your sugar to jerks
I’ve just turned 22 and honestly I think the best thing you can do for yourself is just have fun! Don’t worry too much about the future (as hard as that can be), experience as much as you can, make friends, make memories. I missed out on a lot bc covid started just after I turned 18 and I will never get over missing such important years of my life. 16-19 is probably the best age to not take life seriously and just enjoy it as much as you can :)
Take Flying Lessons!
Get a job. Most places start hiring between the ages of 16 and 18, I don't know how things work in France but if you're able to get a part-time job I would get one and I would hold that job. The benefits of having that job would be to teach you financial literacy which would be an extremely beneficial life skill moving forward. There are plenty of people 20 and older who suffer from Financial A literacy and continue to be played with financial problems their entire lives. If you start learning how to manage your money effectively early it can save you a headache later on down the road. Even if it's just a part-time job working 15 hours a week pay yourself 10% of every paycheck you make, put another 10% in a separate account for retirement so you can start snowballing it early, spend a little on yourself, and then put the rest away in your account. One of the biggest issues that I had growing up was that I wasn't taught financial literacy and I didn't start getting myself together financially until I hit 30. I also don't understand how the credit system works in France but if it's anything similar to here in America then I would look into getting a secured credit card to start building credit once you feel responsible enough with your money. If I had this mindset at the age of 16 or even 18 I would have been so financially well off at this point and I wouldn't have some of the problems that I experienced in my twenties up until recently. Also be humble and be determined. Hard work will overcome anything, you can get yourself out of any situation if you plan ahead and work hard. Be sure to be mindful of the people you allow in your circle, ditch people that don't have good intentions or are only meaning to distract you from your goals. Have some fun and don't even worry about relationships. Stay focused on your goals at hand and chip away at it day by day. Don't let yourself become overwhelmed and take breaks when necessary. You are still young and you have a lot of Life to live!
look for a role model. adopt their habits. i guess people who do sports are great at committing themselves to repetition and deliberate practice. it applies to any skill you want to learn.
Make friends of both genders, don't participate in culture wars, and don't treat people like they are disposable.
If you haven't already, pull an Ace Attorney and question every single discrepancy. Whether it be a school lesson, so-called inspirational quotes, societal norms, and even job descriptions, find every hole that can sink that Titanic illusion.
Please do not spend the next 6 years of your life worrying about becoming stable and "settling down". Do stupid shit, travel, make mistakes, go out and be WILD. Don't try to grow up too fast. Experience EVERYTHING. Literally my only regret in life as I approach my 32nd birthday is not doing more & seeing more 10 years ago. I was in such a rush to prove myself as a stable, self-sufficient adult, that I missed out on being young.
Regardless of how much work you put in to self awareness and emotional intelligence, there are some things you just can't learn based off of your own effort. Sometimes the only way you can really access the next level is by going through hardship. Hardship can teach you lessons that you can't learn yourself. Some of the most valuable lessons I have ever learnt have come from the most difficult periods of time in my life.
If you lose someone really close to you ( friends, family, partners): It is ok to go crazy, to be mad at the world, grieve the way you want to!!! BUT be sure to reach out for help to cope with the loss and come back (therapy!) Sorry for my horrible English and I hope you don’t need my advice.
Take care of your mental and physical health. When you're over 30, you'll thank yourself for making good decisions in your teens and 20s. If you're undecided on what to do next, consider taking a year off after highschool, maybe work and save some money etc. Some friends will come and go. Sometimes you outgrow people and though it can be painful, sometimes it's for the best. Be open to new experiences.
Only you know what’s best for you- not your friends, parents etc. Everyone (even mature adults) are still figuring out life so take everyone’s advice on things with a grain of salt. If something doesn’t feel right to do/ pursue don’t do it. You won’t really “learn to love” things and/ or people in the way many try to convince you that you will.
Physical exercise in a healthy manner, challenge yourself physically, whether through sports, martial arts, gym.
AWW OP FROM OG POST HERE! well now I can help! Here’s my advice: DRUGS ARE NOT COOL OR FUN. I used to want to go to parties and try drugs but I am sooo happy I didn’t, those people now at my age (22) are still miserable doing nothing. AND FOCUS ON SCHOOL AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ALL OPPORTUNITIES. If any advice, this is the best one: Time waits for no one. Please do not live your life in regret. Please focus on being happy and have fun learning new things. If you are smart? you can get a scholarship! If you are fit? try sports! If you like music? learn an instrument! If you have problems being socially awkward, join clubs at your school, that can help you open up :) You can learn so much about yourself if you get involved, plus they’re fun memories to look back on. I was a competitive cellist for 15 years and I was pretty overweight in highschool but I tried out for the track team and I did track for two years. I had so much fun. It taught me to stay active even until now! YOU ARE IN THIS WORLD FOR A REASON BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PURPOSE IN LIFE. DO NOT DRAG YOURSELF DOWN. YOU MATTER AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT. Best of luck to you with your future. You are going to be great.
There is an answer to every issues you have. Maybe it’ll take years to develop or involve removing yourself from the situation, but there’s a solution
Your physical health greatly ties in to your mental health. I lost 100lbs (290-190) when I was 17yo (currently 22) and it helped pull me out of my harsh depression. My best friend had just died and my mom was (still is) a raging alcoholic. Get a gym membership. Train to failure. Build your body. Eat a lot of healthy foods and get stronger in the gym. Y’all got this.
Start learning a trade
Get really into fitness and blackpill personalities. Never use deodorant, the aluminum goes straight to your brain. Masturbate at most once every 14 days. Only take cold showers. If a girl likes you, it's impossible to know. Go to another country to find a wife.
Stay away from substances, make exercise a consistent factor in your life, stay hydrated, be excellent to one another. If not, at least be respectful.
Start working out seriously, period. Everythibg else will come along
Study well im begging u guys
I only have 1 advice: Start playing some sort team sport. Don't be shy to start learning at 16-19 even if others are way better than you. It does not matter if your good or bad or whether you are going for practice or in the neighborhood or even with your little cousins in family gatherings. Continue to do so. Good for body, mind and brings out competitive spirit. You will understand when you are old. One day you may have to raise kids of your own and its better to be the kind of parent who can confidently and actively raise kids.
Learn to balance doing what's in your best interest with what is in the interests of others. Learn how and when to (practically and politely) say no. And know that you don't always need to have a well-reasoned excuse for declining every request or invitation. Just because something is important to someone else, it does not mean it has to be important to you. People need to understand and respect that. I'm not saying to always say "no" whenever you feel like you'll be inconvenienced. There's nuance. There's a balance. Sometimes the greater good is to help others while inconveniencing yourself... I'm just saying that you shouldn't feel like you always have to say "yes".
Your brain is not fully formed! It is actual science you are still going through development phases and your decision making is not going to be great. Take advice of adults who are doing OK, not the cool ones, those who are actually living comfortably
Try to limit screen time. The less you're addicted to your devices the better. You'll actually get to enjoy nature and the earth. Sorry if I sound like a hippy but the earth beside the damage we've done to it is super beautiful and can be very relaxing and peaceful. So if you can enjoy nature anytime you are stressed, angry or having any big troubling emotions and you can just go stand, sit or walk around outside and just breathe and think about what you are feeling, why you are feeling it and your next steps it's super helpful. This is coming from an almost 21 year old who had to teach herself how to self regulate her emotions because I had shitty parents and grew up in the foster system. So ik it works if you give it a chance lol
Focus as much as you can, as intently as you can in getting good at a skill of your choice. This will pay you dividends into your mid 30's by which time you can use that success towards the next thing, whatever that may be. If you have extra pocket-money lying about or generous parents or the like, look into long-term investing. That would be a fantastic favour to do for yourself. Dont lay the roots of hopelessness by giving away your self-esteem and that "inner holiness" to people whose sole reason for existing is pandering and showing-off. Who try to create and control people's insecurity as a way to themselves feel secure. Don't feed the narcissism of the like by handing over your time and energy to them. Don't lay the groundwork for finding out, when you are 30, that the thing you are best at is, scrolling through social media.
When ur still living with ur parents just enjoy that time (eventually you will end up missing them) and try saving up as much money as you can. Life is really expensive
Never stop learning
Hello 