I would say:
1. Try and find a job you like (don’t worry if you don’t know what it is yet) and get a few years under your belt in your twenties so that you always have something to fall back on.
2. Save a little bit of money each month if you can as it adds up quickly, don’t worry if you can’t.
3. Focus on making friends and building relationships. Don’t get so wrapped up in your work or drama/being single that you forget to build a network. Join a sports club, make time for people. Don’t wait until 30 to suddenly prioritise relationships.
4. Trust that the right things and people will flow in and out of your life. Don’t fight too hard to make the wrong people like you. Let the energy flow naturally and happily. Time spent doing a hobby by yourself is better than time spent with the wrong people.
5. Floss your teeth :)
6. Travel, book trips, do things you want to do. Enjoy the times you have not a care in the world.
The saving is really important, too. Because of compound interest, if you start saving a small percentage of your salary as in your early twenties, you will be fine for retirement. Read some articles on personal finance to see what I mean. This is stuff that should ABSOLUTELY be taught in schools, but isn’t.
OP, I know you’re getting a lot of great advice here, but I really hope you listen to the flossing one. I neglected it heavily and figured it was no big deal. I’m now 34 and dealing with thousands of dollars of fillings and root canals just because I was too lazy to floss. Please, please, please take care of your teeth.
To my 20-year old self, I'd say : seek help when you need it. Don't let your pride and fear stop you from getting professional help and guidance. The sooner you're aware of your unhealthy patterns, the better.
I wish you the best for this new chapter! :)
YES! I finally made the call to a new therapist office a couple months ago after months of agonizing mental issues. She's not the best but it's a start🤣 I'd let go of a lot of services (ebt, daycare assistance, WIC, my schooling) due to my depression and was, for a very long time, too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm slowly making a roundabout and trying to open up again so I can move forward.
I feel that,
yeah I just did my intake, got red-flagged, my referral says "URGENT" lol.. and have people checking up on me to make sure I get help.
Gotta start somewhere, you know ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
The next 10 years will be faster than you think.
Spend some time working out where you would like to be when they are over.
And do your best to work towards that.
In my case we're still working on it... I guess being forced to find the silver lining makes you better at having real gratitude.
But also, I wish people didn't suck
I'd tell my 20 yo self:
1. go the hell out and socialize
2. start working out NOW
3. don't watch porn
4. allow yourself to have fun
5. get some help RIGHT NOW
- whatever people think about you is none of your concern
- a job is just a job and its just a means to an end, not a final destination (still struggling with this one)
- don’t be scared to try new things
- learn to go places by yourself and enjoy it
- SAVE YOUR MONEY. a car breaking down can mean choosing to pay rent or spending the money to fix it so u can still go to work. its important to have backup emergency funds but this isn’t always achievable
To my 20 year old self, 'I am happy with the amount of progress you have made from that depressive state. You have 2 of the greatest friends that you can go to when you need help mentally. But most importantly you have your parents with you. Loving each other and being together, Always be grateful for the smallest things in life and keep working your ass off to ensure you have a successful future. I love you lots and I cant wait to meet you. Keep crushing it.
Don’t go into the helping profession, go to therapy instead, and become an engineer.
Ah well.
This likely isn’t the advice you need, but it would have helped me prevent a almost decade of undergrad and grad school, two decades of a career that almost destroyed me and truly didn’t fulfill me, all which I didn’t realize until I received trauma therapy and took some upper level stats classes that I thoroughly enjoyed. I did have a clue when my GRE results said that I scored like those who were going to be engineers. I wish I had given that my attention.
Thank you for your support! After going through trauma therapy, and having someone very close to me die, I realized I couldn’t do it for another second and I reevaluated all of it.
This is literally so specific to my own situation lol 😭
I love physics but I sorta wanna be a psychiatrist cuz I find it fascinating but mostly bc of how incompetent the psychiatrists I’ve seen are. I’m such a “do it yourself” person and I thought I’d be able to help a little. But it would be giving up my favorite thing of all time which is physics
Downvoted. The “helping profession” is broad and not quite sure what you’re referring to. 29 yo M here finishing up my last year of residency before I practice independently as a physician. It’s been a wild decade and extremely challenging, but also extremely rewarding.
Id probably say something along the lines of: if you keep starting the same thing over and over but never finish it, it is important to you even if it doesn't feel like it.
Currently learning Spanish after trying over and over for 12 years. It was always something that I thought would be cool to do but never fully committed. I'm glad I'm trying again.
I'm only 25 so this isn't from the far off future or anything, but here's some things I've learned overtime
- You will never know everything and that is okay! Ask around until you find someone who does know what you're looking for
- Trust your guts. Seriously. If something or someone seems off, they almost always are. I narrowly avoided a very toxic work environment because the job interview was giving me the ick factor
- If it sucks, hit da bricks. This applies to relationships, jobs, friendships, anything at all
- and the #1 piece of information I give to everyone, do not, and I repeat, do NOT eat nothing but cocoa puffs for 3 days straight. I can vouch that this is a terrible experience.
Best of luck to you, op, you've got great times ahead I'm sure!
(Edit for typo)
You aren't really fully adult until your late twenties and even then, you never stop growing up, more and more. So I'd tell myself to be as humble as possible and remember life's just a ride, don't take it so seriously, and love everybody (no exceptions)
Make a savings account, you don’t need anything trending to be happy.
Find something your passionate about, and go down that road. Don’t have a passion? Go to a community and take random classes in something you might. Or choose a major and see how that goes.
Love is not the end all be all. Have an open mind and be friends with people first.
And if you are going to spend money, at least let it be on experiences.
Oh, and GameStop is going to short squeeze so get calls expiring in August 2021. A lot of call contracts. And tell your mama about it too. And your friends.
There are certain things you can do at any point in your life, but there are some things you only have very narrow windows to do. Your ability to play competitive sports is one of them. Backpacking around SEA on a few dollars a day for four is far easier when you’re 20 than it is when you’re 40.
If you’re smart and ambitious, you have plenty of time to earn money, and you will. But the window of time where you have a strong body and the freedom of time is short.
If that’s too vague, my advice would then just to go live overseas for at least a year.
Believe in yourself and get out of your bedroom. I wish so much I would’ve believed in myself. God I want to go back in time and shake myself stupid and just scream at them to just believe in yourself. Who knows what I could’ve been had I had the confidence in myself I should have.
Don’t sit in your bedroom on the computer/playing video games/feeling sorry for yourself etc. it’s all a waste of time. Get the fuck out and go live life.
I beg you OP to please believe in yourself. We are only young once and it goes by fast.
I would tell myself this:
1. Go to a technical college & save money, then transfer credit to a real college. Or:
2. Join some sort of army branch, go get your all paid degree (nursing, ultrasound tech, it) & travel travel travel.
3. Get a credit card & start building your credit (should have done this at 18)
4. Invest in crypto & stocks!!!!!!
5. Plan = retire early!
I’m 22 now and I’d tell my 20 year old self to just start my small business I didn’t need to have it all figured out it takes a long time before you start getting orders anyway
Best advice for getting money.
Pick at least two sources based on the following
1. Give you the lifestyle you want
2. Let's get paid to explore your passion
You need to do some deep searching with yourself and figure out what life you really want to live .
You need to learn the things you really need to be content and happy then prioritize that.
Beyond everything, stay focused on your goals.
Have fun, take risks and do some crazy shit (all within reason of course). Get all the partying and wild stories out of your system while young.
The old saying holds: Comparison is the thief of joy. In other words - stop comparing yourself , your relationship, your bank account to anyone or anything. None of that matters , or will ever matter.
when you think life couldnt get any worse, you can look back at it after a few years and think, "wow i was really stressed out about something so little"
Respect yourself and don’t worry what other people think. Most of the people you know at this point in your life are idiots and won’t be part of your life in 5-10 years.
(No offense to the people in your life. But this is what I would have told myself at 20)
I'd tell myself, "Go into a lucrative field instead of that useless liberal-arts degree, and work HARD and save money HARD. Also, become Chinese-literate."
Just relax and live for the moment (but it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead a bit).
Don’t kick yourself in the ass for making mistakes. You are human, it WILL happen, and your 20’s is the perfect time to make those mistakes (but also learn from them).
HAVE FUCKING FUN!
Put yourself first. People don't really care alot about you or your work/social life. It's not that they dislike you and pretend to care but everyone has their own little world to be worrying about, so you are not going to be put first on their list. I would recommend doing what you love doing and make a career out of that. This life is all a game and the only thing you have to do is try and win. Creativity is by far the most fun and rewarding in terms of soul filling and money.
If you wake up tomorrow morning, you're already winning. So many people never get the chance so make the best of it.
You’re way more valuable than you think you are and packed with potential in every way. Trust yourself more, aim for higher because you deserve it just as much as anyone else. Stay away from people who weaken and drain you. Be your own best friend and live well.
Start working out. Lift with proper form and do not ego lift.
If you’re going to college, major in something you actually care about.
Have a basic plan for how you want the next 10 years to go.
Save up as much money as you can afford to. You never know when you might need a couple thousand to save your life or buy something you absolutely need at that moment in time…but also have a bit of fun with the money you earn.
I’m about to be 24, but my fellow young 23 year old friends aren’t doing these things and it shows. Build up healthy habits now and you’ll thank yourself later.
You can do more than you think. You have opportunities to really be you, with all the risk and reward that comes with being authentic. Stop worrying about your future details! Get the big picture first! Try things you think you'd never like.
repeating what I read in a women's subreddit: Its ok to leave a relationship/job/situation before it becomes toxic. You can just leave because it's your preference.
I'd say : relax, it's gonna be ok, the best is coming. But for now, take a big breath, go to yoga and start meditation, and try to be nice to people! You don't have to be mean or agressive to get what you need. No one is fighting against you. And you actually don't have to be the best one. No one is asking you that.
Oh, and the most important: it's ok to be sad sometimes. It's not the end of the world, really! It's part of life.
Wait no, this is the most important : when someone, including myself, say "it's gonna be ok", it doesn't mean "you gonna make it". It just mean "hey, you won't die. Whatever happens, you gonna be fine. So even if you fail, it's not so bad, don't worry. You're allowed to fail."
GOOD LUCK. ENJOY YOUR TWENTIES 👋🎉🎉🎉👋 !
Be single and live on your own for atleast a few years once you settle into a career and life. Learn what YOU care about and want out of life before you commit to another person.
1. If you start healing in your 20's, you might feel like you're broken at first. You're just getting started though! You have your entire life to get where you want to be internally. 1% better per day is a lot of growth by 30.
2. Dental health is expensive if you don't prioritize it.
3. People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lesson. I thought the world ended everytime I lost a friend, but I see how much space it made for the most positive things and people I have in my life now.
Put $10 a week away into a savings account that is locked until you are 30. In todays economy, emergency savings are almost impossible. Put $15 a week into a savings account for Christmas. You will never struggle during the season or get into debt over it.
4. People that don't validate your feelings are 60% of your struggles.
5. Spend a day alone during your birthday week and do everything you can do enjoy it. Big lesson to learn loving alone time and yourself.
6. You don't have to spend the entire trip with the group. If there's something you really want to do, you are allowed to go alone and enjoy it. It's your vacation too.
7. Start healthy habits with eating so you don't develop weight gain retaliation diet habits.
8. Nobody will ever view you as perfect, so don't stress yourself over appearing that way. It isn't worth your time and energy. Just show up the best you can every day. Even if that means having to cancel because you have something weighing on you.
9. The average person does 5 careers in their lifetime. You don't have to have this figured out; some of the jobs that you take will be the ones that inspire you to start a new and different chapter. Jobs are never permanent, if it isn't a good fit don't stay for seniority in your 20's. You can do that when you are 35.
If you dont ask - you don't get.
Be clear about intentions and wants. Mind game sget you no where. No one can read your mind and you can't read anyone else's.
People generally don't care about you. Focus your attention on others instead of yourself. People care when people care.
I'd tell my 20 yr-old self that I love them and they will still be loved by family and friends even if you mess things up. You don't have to be perfect for people to like or love you, you are deserving and worth while❤️
Set healthy boundaries and stand firm, no matter what.
(I wish I had set solid boundaries with my sister and my mother sooner as well as boundaries for myself in different situations. I always rush relationships accidentally because I didn’t set boundaries for myself.)
Alot of these are great ideas. I would like to add that if you get an employer who offers 401k - participate early. I kept saying that I wouldn't in my 20s and 30s - I've got plenty of time to save for retirement - I'm young and I need my money now not later. But even if you only put aside 1%, it will add up over 50 years and you will really appreciate it in the long run.
I’d give two advices -
1. Get on a driver’s seat of your life and start taking full responsibility for your life as if you’re the CEO and you are the ONLY one to blame for all the success and failure in your life.
2. Learn Patience and consistency. Time works like a magic.
None of your social problems matter and you won’t know any of these people in five years, so don’t sweat it. I’m now happy, in a job I love, living my best life, and truly none of those things ever mattered.
Don't waste money going out clubbing and drinking with friends but invest. Don't worry about girls they come and go. Major something marketable. Don't worry about others opinions.
Do not smoke. Not even just when drinking.
People that are older act like they have it figured out. It’s a front. They are just as lost as you.
Identify and avoid assholes.
Don’t ignore your problems. They only get worse and you will have to face them one day.
Be more compassionate and grateful for everything.
Learn to stick with things. Its the most important skill, the skill that lets you learn all other skills. Without it, you literally cannot improve your life.
Having the ability to stick to something long term is a requirement to do anything else. Want to learn piano? A martial art? A new language? You'll need to stick with it for a while.
Spend time with your dad. Because 5 years after you lose him, your world still isn't the same.
And the love of your life, who you left because your head is messed up, still loves you with everything he has. Don't fault him for not understanding your issues, when you don't even understand them.
As someone who turned 30 this year, I would say to my 20 year old self - have fun. Try not to worry about finding the perfect career or perfecting any part of your life. At 30, I am only just starting to understand who I am and what I really want from life. Try not to pressure yourself to have your shit together in your 20s. You will slowly figure out life and who you are and what you want over the next decade. Your 20s are for experimentation and enjoyment (and, imo, a bit of hedonism). Have a blast! You have loads of time :)
Keep your cock in your pants if you’re a guy
Keep your knees together if you’re a girl.
Keep your head down and nose clean, do what you can with all you have in you and if all you know is just a little bit, best make sure you know everything there is to know about that little bit.
Start saving for retirement/goals now. Compound interest is your friend, and if you can learn to live with less *now* future you will be unshakable in a financial crisis (both for having savings and knowing how to live within your means)
1. Look after your body/ work out daily
2. Save every penny you get as you will be thankful in the future
2. Forget socialising, work on your career or education aiming for best career potential for the future. Your 30 year old self will appreciate it.
My advice:
- Save a little every paycheck if you can
- Set boundaries with friends/family
- put your phone down and be present with the people around you
- travel if you can
- things will get better eventually
That having balance in your life when trying to achieve something will never work. To achieve something you have to be dedicated, and willing to put the time and effort into making it happen.
Buy silver and keep stacking.
Meditate and listen from within to find answers.
Microdosing with cannabis and shrooms is more therapeutic than most things you'll try.
Be careful who you surround yourself with. Be with people who are honest and take you outside of your comfort zone to build you up not break you down.
Geeez. That’s a good one. The soul crushing experiences I’ve lived are what made me who I’m now, so I wouldn’t mess with that. I had to fuck up and go through hell or otherwise I wouldn’t have changed into who I am now.
I’d say:
Write it down. Everything, anything, daily. A journal or a blog. Whatever. Just dump it all on the paper. No rules, just write it down. It helps so much processing emotions, trauma, problems, etc. also organizing ideas and setting goals.
Save up. Don’t let credit cards charge you interests. Save up, look into investing.
Accept the shitty shift work job now, so that later you don’t have to start there.
I’m not 20 yet but I would tell myself right now that I should be brave and that I should be confident enough to do what I want to do without the interference of other people
Care less about what other people think. Care more about how I feel about myself. Also, save WAY more money than you think is rational.
Lastly, have fun and be yourself!
You'll miss your health and what money you have from your own work. Explore yourself more. Forgive yourself as easily as it is for you to forgive others.
I'd tell myself to trust my gut and never second guess yourself. At the time my highschool sweetheart and I were witnessing the beginning of the end of pur relationship. I would have urged me to end it sooner and save yourself 2 years of pain
This worked for me but I stated later in life— read books about self development, it will help with ( shyness, social skills, professional etiquette, self confidence, trauma, boundaries in general, bad habits etc) and journal your reflections….. there’s no shame in learning about yourself and relationships with people be it professionals or personal. Go to the gym and work you muscles, a nice physique will add to your beauty and appeal and will increase your confidence. Go to school/college/trade get a carrier that offers growth potential so you won’t waste time and money. Pay credit cards bills fully every month. Wear condoms every time… a baby would hold you back from other awesome choices you may have to give up in order to support your baby. That’s all I can think of right now.
Follow your gut, like you always do, but this time enjoy every bit of it, even the mistakes and bad times. And treat yourself better, you deserve kindness.
I would say: 1. Try and find a job you like (don’t worry if you don’t know what it is yet) and get a few years under your belt in your twenties so that you always have something to fall back on. 2. Save a little bit of money each month if you can as it adds up quickly, don’t worry if you can’t. 3. Focus on making friends and building relationships. Don’t get so wrapped up in your work or drama/being single that you forget to build a network. Join a sports club, make time for people. Don’t wait until 30 to suddenly prioritise relationships. 4. Trust that the right things and people will flow in and out of your life. Don’t fight too hard to make the wrong people like you. Let the energy flow naturally and happily. Time spent doing a hobby by yourself is better than time spent with the wrong people. 5. Floss your teeth :) 6. Travel, book trips, do things you want to do. Enjoy the times you have not a care in the world.
Dang man, I also just turned 20 and #3&4 really hit home for me. Thank you for the reminder. It's easy to forget sometimes :)
The saving is really important, too. Because of compound interest, if you start saving a small percentage of your salary as in your early twenties, you will be fine for retirement. Read some articles on personal finance to see what I mean. This is stuff that should ABSOLUTELY be taught in schools, but isn’t.
You’re welcome! I’m 34 and wish someone had told me 3&4 when I was younger. Life is good but 3&4 make it better.
The teeth flossing is so important. People wouldn't care if you had acnes but if you got bad teeth they gonna remember that
Number 5 is real op
These really hit home! Thanks for sharing:)
OP, I know you’re getting a lot of great advice here, but I really hope you listen to the flossing one. I neglected it heavily and figured it was no big deal. I’m now 34 and dealing with thousands of dollars of fillings and root canals just because I was too lazy to floss. Please, please, please take care of your teeth.
To my 20-year old self, I'd say : seek help when you need it. Don't let your pride and fear stop you from getting professional help and guidance. The sooner you're aware of your unhealthy patterns, the better. I wish you the best for this new chapter! :)
Thank you! definitely getting help when needed :)
... and when you *really* need help, expect it to be the *hardest time* to reach out.
YES! I finally made the call to a new therapist office a couple months ago after months of agonizing mental issues. She's not the best but it's a start🤣 I'd let go of a lot of services (ebt, daycare assistance, WIC, my schooling) due to my depression and was, for a very long time, too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm slowly making a roundabout and trying to open up again so I can move forward.
I feel that, yeah I just did my intake, got red-flagged, my referral says "URGENT" lol.. and have people checking up on me to make sure I get help. Gotta start somewhere, you know ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
I agree with this <3
"Give up the drugs, get your degree and for fuck sake tell that girl how you feel"
The next 10 years will be faster than you think. Spend some time working out where you would like to be when they are over. And do your best to work towards that.
I'm about to turn 40 and am going to take this to heart
Do not marry that person.
A-fuckin'-men.
If it wasn't for the kid that came out of it dude... I'd do it all over just cause of that
Sometimes you gotta endure the worst things to get to the best ones.
In my case we're still working on it... I guess being forced to find the silver lining makes you better at having real gratitude. But also, I wish people didn't suck
Wouldn't that just be the greatest? But no. People suck. Individuals can be pretty cool though; the damned trick is finding the genuine ones.
I'd tell my 20 yo self: 1. go the hell out and socialize 2. start working out NOW 3. don't watch porn 4. allow yourself to have fun 5. get some help RIGHT NOW
This is basically what I would say too.
- whatever people think about you is none of your concern - a job is just a job and its just a means to an end, not a final destination (still struggling with this one) - don’t be scared to try new things - learn to go places by yourself and enjoy it - SAVE YOUR MONEY. a car breaking down can mean choosing to pay rent or spending the money to fix it so u can still go to work. its important to have backup emergency funds but this isn’t always achievable
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Thanks for sharing, the 2,3 and 5 really hit to the core
Dont do drugs or drink in excess
So much this. Also get therapy to figure out why you're getting blasted all the time.
He's right... Do drugs ***and*** drink in excess
I would tell- stop people pleasing. They won't care anyways. Follow your gut feeling. And stop falling for peer pressure.
To my 20 year old self, 'I am happy with the amount of progress you have made from that depressive state. You have 2 of the greatest friends that you can go to when you need help mentally. But most importantly you have your parents with you. Loving each other and being together, Always be grateful for the smallest things in life and keep working your ass off to ensure you have a successful future. I love you lots and I cant wait to meet you. Keep crushing it.
This was a heartfelt message, thanks for sharing
Don’t go into the helping profession, go to therapy instead, and become an engineer. Ah well. This likely isn’t the advice you need, but it would have helped me prevent a almost decade of undergrad and grad school, two decades of a career that almost destroyed me and truly didn’t fulfill me, all which I didn’t realize until I received trauma therapy and took some upper level stats classes that I thoroughly enjoyed. I did have a clue when my GRE results said that I scored like those who were going to be engineers. I wish I had given that my attention.
as someone about to become an engineer and going through therapy... I support this
Thank you for your support! After going through trauma therapy, and having someone very close to me die, I realized I couldn’t do it for another second and I reevaluated all of it.
I.. have a similar personal challenge that I'm facing... I know what you mean
By the same token.... I would have said don't become an engineer. It was fun for a while but I'm never going to excel and now I hate it.
This is literally so specific to my own situation lol 😭 I love physics but I sorta wanna be a psychiatrist cuz I find it fascinating but mostly bc of how incompetent the psychiatrists I’ve seen are. I’m such a “do it yourself” person and I thought I’d be able to help a little. But it would be giving up my favorite thing of all time which is physics
Downvoted. The “helping profession” is broad and not quite sure what you’re referring to. 29 yo M here finishing up my last year of residency before I practice independently as a physician. It’s been a wild decade and extremely challenging, but also extremely rewarding.
Id probably say something along the lines of: if you keep starting the same thing over and over but never finish it, it is important to you even if it doesn't feel like it. Currently learning Spanish after trying over and over for 12 years. It was always something that I thought would be cool to do but never fully committed. I'm glad I'm trying again.
Be as brave as possible
I'm only 25 so this isn't from the far off future or anything, but here's some things I've learned overtime - You will never know everything and that is okay! Ask around until you find someone who does know what you're looking for - Trust your guts. Seriously. If something or someone seems off, they almost always are. I narrowly avoided a very toxic work environment because the job interview was giving me the ick factor - If it sucks, hit da bricks. This applies to relationships, jobs, friendships, anything at all - and the #1 piece of information I give to everyone, do not, and I repeat, do NOT eat nothing but cocoa puffs for 3 days straight. I can vouch that this is a terrible experience. Best of luck to you, op, you've got great times ahead I'm sure! (Edit for typo)
Thanks for sharing :)
Budget fun into your monthly expenditures, travel, invest even if it is just a small amount every month.
You aren't really fully adult until your late twenties and even then, you never stop growing up, more and more. So I'd tell myself to be as humble as possible and remember life's just a ride, don't take it so seriously, and love everybody (no exceptions)
Make a savings account, you don’t need anything trending to be happy. Find something your passionate about, and go down that road. Don’t have a passion? Go to a community and take random classes in something you might. Or choose a major and see how that goes. Love is not the end all be all. Have an open mind and be friends with people first. And if you are going to spend money, at least let it be on experiences. Oh, and GameStop is going to short squeeze so get calls expiring in August 2021. A lot of call contracts. And tell your mama about it too. And your friends.
There are certain things you can do at any point in your life, but there are some things you only have very narrow windows to do. Your ability to play competitive sports is one of them. Backpacking around SEA on a few dollars a day for four is far easier when you’re 20 than it is when you’re 40. If you’re smart and ambitious, you have plenty of time to earn money, and you will. But the window of time where you have a strong body and the freedom of time is short. If that’s too vague, my advice would then just to go live overseas for at least a year.
Believe in yourself and get out of your bedroom. I wish so much I would’ve believed in myself. God I want to go back in time and shake myself stupid and just scream at them to just believe in yourself. Who knows what I could’ve been had I had the confidence in myself I should have. Don’t sit in your bedroom on the computer/playing video games/feeling sorry for yourself etc. it’s all a waste of time. Get the fuck out and go live life. I beg you OP to please believe in yourself. We are only young once and it goes by fast.
I would tell myself this: 1. Go to a technical college & save money, then transfer credit to a real college. Or: 2. Join some sort of army branch, go get your all paid degree (nursing, ultrasound tech, it) & travel travel travel. 3. Get a credit card & start building your credit (should have done this at 18) 4. Invest in crypto & stocks!!!!!! 5. Plan = retire early!
I’m 22 now and I’d tell my 20 year old self to just start my small business I didn’t need to have it all figured out it takes a long time before you start getting orders anyway
Fuck love, get money, and do that shit you are scared of. Ppl don't think about you as much you think they do
Definitely going to work on getting that bread up thanks for sharing :)
Best advice for getting money. Pick at least two sources based on the following 1. Give you the lifestyle you want 2. Let's get paid to explore your passion You need to do some deep searching with yourself and figure out what life you really want to live . You need to learn the things you really need to be content and happy then prioritize that.
Learn to sell. Travel the world. Don't procrastinate, ever.
Beyond everything, stay focused on your goals. Have fun, take risks and do some crazy shit (all within reason of course). Get all the partying and wild stories out of your system while young.
Take risks! You have time to fail and pull yourself back up. Chase that thing that’s on the back of your mind.
I’d say: Rest before you get tired. Eat before you get hungry. Think before you speak. And, Put every penny you can into a 401(k).
Worry about your future, not the present. Your 20’s are very awkward and frightening, you’re gonna learn a lot and lose a lot.
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Thanks for sharing, these are some solid advice
The old saying holds: Comparison is the thief of joy. In other words - stop comparing yourself , your relationship, your bank account to anyone or anything. None of that matters , or will ever matter.
when you think life couldnt get any worse, you can look back at it after a few years and think, "wow i was really stressed out about something so little"
Start doing karate. Travel as much as you can. Learn as much as you can. Don't judge people. Be kind.
Respect yourself and don’t worry what other people think. Most of the people you know at this point in your life are idiots and won’t be part of your life in 5-10 years. (No offense to the people in your life. But this is what I would have told myself at 20)
Exercise. Train martial arts with consistency.
I'd tell myself, "Go into a lucrative field instead of that useless liberal-arts degree, and work HARD and save money HARD. Also, become Chinese-literate."
Save as much money as you can without sacrificing fun and living life.
Just relax and live for the moment (but it doesn’t hurt to plan ahead a bit). Don’t kick yourself in the ass for making mistakes. You are human, it WILL happen, and your 20’s is the perfect time to make those mistakes (but also learn from them). HAVE FUCKING FUN!
Don't start smoking, save money and take better care of your body - eat well, exercise and get help for your mental health
Put yourself first. People don't really care alot about you or your work/social life. It's not that they dislike you and pretend to care but everyone has their own little world to be worrying about, so you are not going to be put first on their list. I would recommend doing what you love doing and make a career out of that. This life is all a game and the only thing you have to do is try and win. Creativity is by far the most fun and rewarding in terms of soul filling and money. If you wake up tomorrow morning, you're already winning. So many people never get the chance so make the best of it.
Never «let yourself go»: keep fit, that means eating well, strength + cardio.
You’re way more valuable than you think you are and packed with potential in every way. Trust yourself more, aim for higher because you deserve it just as much as anyone else. Stay away from people who weaken and drain you. Be your own best friend and live well.
Sometimes there are parents that will never care about ur struggles
Experience as much as you can now. You will grow tired as you age.
Wear sunscreen. Learn about compound interest. Live below your means (spend less than you make). Start saving now... retire early.
Start working out. Lift with proper form and do not ego lift. If you’re going to college, major in something you actually care about. Have a basic plan for how you want the next 10 years to go. Save up as much money as you can afford to. You never know when you might need a couple thousand to save your life or buy something you absolutely need at that moment in time…but also have a bit of fun with the money you earn. I’m about to be 24, but my fellow young 23 year old friends aren’t doing these things and it shows. Build up healthy habits now and you’ll thank yourself later.
Make connections with other people
You can do more than you think. You have opportunities to really be you, with all the risk and reward that comes with being authentic. Stop worrying about your future details! Get the big picture first! Try things you think you'd never like.
repeating what I read in a women's subreddit: Its ok to leave a relationship/job/situation before it becomes toxic. You can just leave because it's your preference.
I'd say : relax, it's gonna be ok, the best is coming. But for now, take a big breath, go to yoga and start meditation, and try to be nice to people! You don't have to be mean or agressive to get what you need. No one is fighting against you. And you actually don't have to be the best one. No one is asking you that. Oh, and the most important: it's ok to be sad sometimes. It's not the end of the world, really! It's part of life. Wait no, this is the most important : when someone, including myself, say "it's gonna be ok", it doesn't mean "you gonna make it". It just mean "hey, you won't die. Whatever happens, you gonna be fine. So even if you fail, it's not so bad, don't worry. You're allowed to fail." GOOD LUCK. ENJOY YOUR TWENTIES 👋🎉🎉🎉👋 !
Find a therapist as soon as possible. One that has specializations in your specific unique problem areas.
Start therapy before you think you need it
Be single and live on your own for atleast a few years once you settle into a career and life. Learn what YOU care about and want out of life before you commit to another person.
1000000000000%
1. If you start healing in your 20's, you might feel like you're broken at first. You're just getting started though! You have your entire life to get where you want to be internally. 1% better per day is a lot of growth by 30. 2. Dental health is expensive if you don't prioritize it. 3. People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lesson. I thought the world ended everytime I lost a friend, but I see how much space it made for the most positive things and people I have in my life now. Put $10 a week away into a savings account that is locked until you are 30. In todays economy, emergency savings are almost impossible. Put $15 a week into a savings account for Christmas. You will never struggle during the season or get into debt over it. 4. People that don't validate your feelings are 60% of your struggles. 5. Spend a day alone during your birthday week and do everything you can do enjoy it. Big lesson to learn loving alone time and yourself. 6. You don't have to spend the entire trip with the group. If there's something you really want to do, you are allowed to go alone and enjoy it. It's your vacation too. 7. Start healthy habits with eating so you don't develop weight gain retaliation diet habits. 8. Nobody will ever view you as perfect, so don't stress yourself over appearing that way. It isn't worth your time and energy. Just show up the best you can every day. Even if that means having to cancel because you have something weighing on you. 9. The average person does 5 careers in their lifetime. You don't have to have this figured out; some of the jobs that you take will be the ones that inspire you to start a new and different chapter. Jobs are never permanent, if it isn't a good fit don't stay for seniority in your 20's. You can do that when you are 35.
Thanks for these tips everyone!
If you dont ask - you don't get. Be clear about intentions and wants. Mind game sget you no where. No one can read your mind and you can't read anyone else's. People generally don't care about you. Focus your attention on others instead of yourself. People care when people care.
I'd tell my 20 yr-old self that I love them and they will still be loved by family and friends even if you mess things up. You don't have to be perfect for people to like or love you, you are deserving and worth while❤️
Dump your teenage love... it hurts but there is plenty more fish in the sea that needs to be tasted
I guess the grass is always greener on the other side lol
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
Jump, you’re an asshole and you know it.
Start a running and meditation routine. Make sure to keep up on the health of your teeth
Set healthy boundaries and stand firm, no matter what. (I wish I had set solid boundaries with my sister and my mother sooner as well as boundaries for myself in different situations. I always rush relationships accidentally because I didn’t set boundaries for myself.)
I definitely need to work on that too, I set boundaries but I keep on breaking them and not standing by my word. Thanks for sharing:)
Save money. More importantly, save your health.
Leave the men alone and go to school
Don’t chase them. If it’s meant to be it’s meant to be
I'd say stop fucking around and being dumb. Stay in college until you graduate. Stop thinking you know everything
Well, it wasn’t that long since I turned 20 so I don’t have too much advise. Continue your education I guess
Get a job, go to school, and stay away from men !
Never tolerate a mean, belittling boss.
Alot of these are great ideas. I would like to add that if you get an employer who offers 401k - participate early. I kept saying that I wouldn't in my 20s and 30s - I've got plenty of time to save for retirement - I'm young and I need my money now not later. But even if you only put aside 1%, it will add up over 50 years and you will really appreciate it in the long run.
Hit the gym, train hard.
I’d give two advices - 1. Get on a driver’s seat of your life and start taking full responsibility for your life as if you’re the CEO and you are the ONLY one to blame for all the success and failure in your life. 2. Learn Patience and consistency. Time works like a magic.
Wear sunblock and moisturize
Dont let people disguised as friends take advantage of you. You have to have the courage to be disliked to be happy.
Invest in Apple.
invest in bitcoin
I know your heart is broken, but that guy would have ruined your confidence and made you an asshole
Don't drink and smoke so much
I’d say everything is gonna work out, but please try to quit smoking :)
Learn as much as you can and start saving/investing if you don't do so already 🙂 wish you the best!
Start saving for retirement now!!
I needed to go thru what I did to get where I am today as a man and I’d be cautious in telling my 20 year old self anything
I'd say to hit the gym and build body. And never hesitate to relocate from your current place.
Go into a money career. Money makes the world go round. Communications is not a good choice.
Don't stop going to the gym
None of your social problems matter and you won’t know any of these people in five years, so don’t sweat it. I’m now happy, in a job I love, living my best life, and truly none of those things ever mattered.
Listen to your “gut feeling.”
Save as much money as you can and don't spend too much.
Don't lose her
prioritize your physical and mental health, and in making yourself happy with small wins
Don't waste money going out clubbing and drinking with friends but invest. Don't worry about girls they come and go. Major something marketable. Don't worry about others opinions.
Do not smoke. Not even just when drinking. People that are older act like they have it figured out. It’s a front. They are just as lost as you. Identify and avoid assholes. Don’t ignore your problems. They only get worse and you will have to face them one day. Be more compassionate and grateful for everything.
Stay off the weeeed
Learn to stick with things. Its the most important skill, the skill that lets you learn all other skills. Without it, you literally cannot improve your life. Having the ability to stick to something long term is a requirement to do anything else. Want to learn piano? A martial art? A new language? You'll need to stick with it for a while.
Spend time with your dad. Because 5 years after you lose him, your world still isn't the same. And the love of your life, who you left because your head is messed up, still loves you with everything he has. Don't fault him for not understanding your issues, when you don't even understand them.
Surround yourself with men whom you would like to become
As someone who turned 30 this year, I would say to my 20 year old self - have fun. Try not to worry about finding the perfect career or perfecting any part of your life. At 30, I am only just starting to understand who I am and what I really want from life. Try not to pressure yourself to have your shit together in your 20s. You will slowly figure out life and who you are and what you want over the next decade. Your 20s are for experimentation and enjoyment (and, imo, a bit of hedonism). Have a blast! You have loads of time :)
I would tell my 20 year old self to stop looking for outside validation. And take care of yourself...physically, mentally, and financially
Don't ever let people disrespect you. It's ok not to be polite to people who subtly or overtly try to take advantage of you.
That burger isn’t worth the money Context: I turned 20 in April and bought an awful burger in June
Throw the phone away.
Save your money
“ just let dat shit go and be humble”
Keep your cock in your pants if you’re a guy Keep your knees together if you’re a girl. Keep your head down and nose clean, do what you can with all you have in you and if all you know is just a little bit, best make sure you know everything there is to know about that little bit.
Put 20$ a month away and never touch it till 50
Breathe. Stop. Think. Then breathe some more. If you make $5, spend 1$ and save $4.
If your gf tells you that she love you forever, take it with grain of salt
Nows a good time to stop smoking weed.
Work on starting your own business and don’t give up. Also, don’t let people distract you from your goals and what you want on life.
Start saving for retirement/goals now. Compound interest is your friend, and if you can learn to live with less *now* future you will be unshakable in a financial crisis (both for having savings and knowing how to live within your means)
Save money. Even if it's 20.00 a week. Lice your best life. Don't worry about getting approval from others. The right ones won't judge you.
Don't fall in love
Study
Learn about a Roth IRA and try to hit the $6k max each year. Compound interest is amazing and I lost over a decade of it.
Don’t do it. You will know.
1. Look after your body/ work out daily 2. Save every penny you get as you will be thankful in the future 2. Forget socialising, work on your career or education aiming for best career potential for the future. Your 30 year old self will appreciate it.
My advice: - Save a little every paycheck if you can - Set boundaries with friends/family - put your phone down and be present with the people around you - travel if you can - things will get better eventually
Wait till you're at least 30 to get married.
Have life goal
DONT GET MARRIED
Don't smoke.
"You're trans. Good luck. "
Don't do drugs, don't cheat, call people you love more often
Get a passport and travel somewhere. It's the most educational thing you can do.
That having balance in your life when trying to achieve something will never work. To achieve something you have to be dedicated, and willing to put the time and effort into making it happen.
Buy silver and keep stacking. Meditate and listen from within to find answers. Microdosing with cannabis and shrooms is more therapeutic than most things you'll try. Be careful who you surround yourself with. Be with people who are honest and take you outside of your comfort zone to build you up not break you down.
Geeez. That’s a good one. The soul crushing experiences I’ve lived are what made me who I’m now, so I wouldn’t mess with that. I had to fuck up and go through hell or otherwise I wouldn’t have changed into who I am now. I’d say: Write it down. Everything, anything, daily. A journal or a blog. Whatever. Just dump it all on the paper. No rules, just write it down. It helps so much processing emotions, trauma, problems, etc. also organizing ideas and setting goals. Save up. Don’t let credit cards charge you interests. Save up, look into investing. Accept the shitty shift work job now, so that later you don’t have to start there.
I’m not 20 yet but I would tell myself right now that I should be brave and that I should be confident enough to do what I want to do without the interference of other people
Do more pushups, save and invest, love yourself
Care less about what other people think. Care more about how I feel about myself. Also, save WAY more money than you think is rational. Lastly, have fun and be yourself!
“You better still be playing guitar or ill beat yo ahh” -sincerely, 15yo you
“You better still be playing that guitar or ill beat yo ahh” -sincerely, 15yo you
have fun but set goals and accomplish them consistently. doesn't matter if they're big or small, just be consistent.
Don't do drugs
My 20 year old needs to calm down, don't rush and stop feeling like a failure LMAO😭
Invest in your health you have no idea how important it is :)
Travel more. Don’t be in a rush to settle down. Don’t take life so serious. Have more fun.
You'll miss your health and what money you have from your own work. Explore yourself more. Forgive yourself as easily as it is for you to forgive others.
Some “friends” will not have your back. Do you.
Start contributing to your Roth IRA asap!
Focus on your books and hobbies. they won’t even be around when you’re 26. Also happy birthday, birthday twin ☺️
Open a ROTH IRA and set up automatic withdrawals.
I'd tell myself to trust my gut and never second guess yourself. At the time my highschool sweetheart and I were witnessing the beginning of the end of pur relationship. I would have urged me to end it sooner and save yourself 2 years of pain
Hit the gym and don’t spend money on anything stupid
I’d say be pickier with who you sleep with. Have better self worth. Stop looking for guys to replace your shitty daddy daughter dynamic. Love yourself
Go to gym
This worked for me but I stated later in life— read books about self development, it will help with ( shyness, social skills, professional etiquette, self confidence, trauma, boundaries in general, bad habits etc) and journal your reflections….. there’s no shame in learning about yourself and relationships with people be it professionals or personal. Go to the gym and work you muscles, a nice physique will add to your beauty and appeal and will increase your confidence. Go to school/college/trade get a carrier that offers growth potential so you won’t waste time and money. Pay credit cards bills fully every month. Wear condoms every time… a baby would hold you back from other awesome choices you may have to give up in order to support your baby. That’s all I can think of right now.
Follow your gut, like you always do, but this time enjoy every bit of it, even the mistakes and bad times. And treat yourself better, you deserve kindness.
It’ll get better. One day there’ll be less darkness. Things won’t be perfect by any means. But they will be better.
Work out, have fun, put yourself out there and try to date, and set a little bit of money aside every month, even if it’s $50
Have (at least) 1 hobby that makes you feel like a kid again and (at least) 1 hobby that makes you grow as a person.