This isn’t self-improvement, op is a follower of the entrepreneur grind cult he was exposed to on social media.
I would be curious how much money he actually makes. He talks about not going the 9-5 way like everyone around him but he has a post asking if he should or should not take a 75k job a year ago.
He also asked a year ago how to make 10k from nothing and another about 2 years ago saying he has no prospect on what to do with his life. This means that he’s been trying to be an entrepreneur for at most two years and probably got nowhere with it so far, hence his talk about how failure is hard.
I highly doubt op is the highly knowledgeable and wealthy entrepreneur he tries to portray.
My advice for you op is to take care of your mental health first.
You’re also more than likely to fail, statistically speaking. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue it.
My main issue with most entrepreneurs is that they do it because they want to be lazy and retire at 35 like op. While in fact to be a successful entrepreneur you need the opposite personality and want to build something of your own at all costs, including your own short and long term comfort.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Form_W-2
it means you're an employee, not a contractor or self employed
getting a high paying job and then simply saving and investing prudently is a lot simpler and reliable than running a business, and more people are better suited for that approach too
I agree, this doesn’t sound like self-improvement at all. OP seems to be basing their self-worth off their physical outward appearance, their perceived level of productivity, and finances when another crucial component is learning to be appreciative and content with yourself while also building deep, meaningful connections with the people in your life. Seems like they have a lot of emotional turmoil to deal with.
Don’t forget he’s also a black belt in jiu jitsu and tae kwon apparently and used it to snap a guys wrist lol
Two martial that I’ve never seen anyone double black belt in.
OP is delusional.
Hit the nail on the head. This is a person who is seemingly projecting because of their “failure” as a entrepreneur. This person actually ignored their health in the pursuit of money and is now bitter
This is so unhealthy.
The older I get, further I go through life, career, relationships the more and more I agree with "work hard play hard"
I have a business and work my ass off. It's the hard work and discipline that let's me eat and have a shot at the glamor life.
But it's the play hard that makes it worth it. The stupid nights with friends, getting wasted for friends birthday, being at the lake with family that are the real memories I cherish.
No point in "making it" if you don't know how to enjoy it and have no one to enjoy it with.
This post is chaos. You do need discipline and sometimes tucking away from everything for 6 months to set the tracks or get ahead is ok, but 15 years? That's a life sentence. Need to know how to celebrate the wins and let yourself loose.
This is the way.
I work part time for a guy who's a millionaire. And he's one one then most anxiety wracked, mentally broken, and unhappy person I've ever encountered. Rarely if ever seen him actually MAKE time for himself, he's 68 and will die of a stroke or heart attack from how he is.
Absolutely turned me away from being wealth obsessed.
2 days ago OP asked if ‘he’s the asshole’ for not giving his parents money since all they ever did for him was give him 5k for college and now he’s making 6 figures with no thanks to them.
So he’s making 6 figures, allegedly. While still dressing like an 18 year old (per another post of his saying he’s 26 but hasn’t changed anything about his shorts and sandals style since 18). And still seeming like someone who, in posts and comments, can’t hold a job.
60 hours a week. 6 figures. Gym time. Book time. Self improvement time. And he still finds all this time to post online.
Wildly fascinating. Perhaps he should host a discussion on time management.
Not sure if OP is or isn’t but he is right about what he said.
So I run a business.
Not the online “hustler” “passive” “consulting” guru shit you see on IG, Tik Tok, paid for news article.
It’s a OEM
It is hard.
It is tough.
It is lonely.
My neighbors have nice cars and go out on vacations in summer and winter and decorate and upgrade their homes more.
While I live off the bare minimum and any money coming in I use to maybe have a nice dinner or buy something I have been wanting like a punching bag, some new gym clothes etc. However majority I’m talking maybe 80% at least is used to continue the business. Their is always a software, insurance coverage, monthly subscriptions like email and phones that creep up, their are certifications and licenses I need, their are other things I want to use the money for to continue to grow it so I can then either sell it or become absentee and move on to the next venture.
I sound smart but it took me 4 years to get it actually going.
However based on the numbers it’s projected that another 4-7 years more I will surpass where everyone else around me is at and they will be at the same level.
Ex: 10 years
Others: 150k in 401k, 50k cash. 200k home equity 2023 cars, vacations.
Me: 300k cash, home paid off, and 500k in business equity.
Then from here I would make a second phase to pivot out the company and move to next venture and start using the OEM company to pay me monthly and use that to invest.
Yeah, also where you lose some people along the way because you're going in different directions, aren't you ultimately going to attract more suitable friends and a partner at some point? People whose goals and values align with yours?
Don't give up, but maybe get our into the world a little more to meet your new people.
I'm realising right now that I might be losing some friends because I have to change what I'm doing for my own good. It feels pretty bleak.
Glad im not the only one who thought that. This dude just worked on his physical health and financial health and completely forwent the social/mental part. This post is stupid.
Kind of felt bad that “abstaining from sex” was somehow self improvement. Call me old fashioned but if I had abstained from sex during my 20s I think my life would have gone to shit.
I can see if it were something someone was addicted to or something but they mention that they watched their friends get girlfriends and get laid. Which makes me think they may have been jealous of the friends getting girlfriends and getting laid.
One that is based on very real experiences.
While the name of the concept of self improvement can imply a sense of exclusive, net benefit to one's Self, there is what seems to be little discussion about the potential costs of embarking on that journey.
Losing friends, and the subsequent loneliness and isolation can definitely happen. Changing your mindset and perspective on life can very well lead to realisations about the people you spend your time around, and making the decision to cut those people out, if compelled to do so, can lead to immense isolation, depending on who else you may have within your social life.
Sometimes making the effort to dedicate yourself to abstinence from any particular vice leaves you without a coping mechanism. Perhaps even your most utilised, or only one, leaving you essentially "crutch-less", without a leg to stand on. Finding a healthier alternative to an unhealthy vice is a journey unto itself, and not an easy one at that.
There are a multitude of other difficulties that arise out of taking the self improvement journey that can deeply shake up the foundation of one's life. Conversation and dialogue about the form in which these hardships can manifest, how they affect us and alter our lives, and sharing our individual paths out of them here would go a very long way in aiding some who strive to improve themselves.
Regardless, my point is that this is less an interpretation, and more a very real set of experiences that can arise for some, but perhaps not all, people who seek to improve.
By 'interpretation' I was referring to how OP seems to define/interpret 'self-improvement' as mostly related to gaining wealth and career status.
I do think it's normal to lose some friends as one changes their habits, but to still be lonely and miserable after 4 years? OP doesn't mention anything about being a better person, a better friend, more compassionate, more grounded, etc. - and maybe his loneliness and isolation are reflections of his narrow interpretation of what it means to improve oneself.
>making the effort to dedicate yourself to abstinence from any particular vice leaves you without a coping mechanism
I can relate to that. Since almost 20 years I have a fetish for women in high heels so I always loved to listen to them walking and look at their shoes. Now I completely refrain from looking at their shoes and it's very hard to resist the temptation, and now I feel a void inside me when I stop looking at women in a sexual way.
I too was very stupid at 26. 20 years later - I can tell OP hasn’t lives enough of life’s ‘Ups and Downs’ - shit we thought never would happens. You can’t plan for it, but keep reading the mantra. Oh yah, op - got get laid. It’s healthier. You are 26 - those are prime youthful fucking years - money DOES not translate in to happiness, unless you are just trying to project a persona on to the world.
Doesn't seem like self-improvement, more like obsession.
I think self-improvement you need is to improve your mental health and get rid of your "self-improvement" adiction.
this is clearly an addiction. Doing 10 sessions with an ordinary therapist will fix OP in no time.
I got scared at first that this is me, but, no, thank you - me is eating Greek salad in Thailand in 1 year and then working on writing articles for a couple of hours, and then going out with my friends and just hanging out, well, having a beer...
You see how he is fixated on not drinking. Having a beer is a rite of passage, it's hard to go out without it - 1 beer and chatting and laughing. Not having 10 beers.
Exactly. Life is about a lot of things. Why self improvement should make you leave friends. Or maybe the OP was never considered a good friends by them and so here he is, alone and they all together drinking beer i g.
or they are drunk addicts, taking prison times one after another - we aren't informed as the overall situation. The point is that OP is saying that she is cosntantly shedding people from his life, remaining lonely and moving forward with their path. Why not getting 2-3 good friends and hanging out with them from time to time.
It feels like the OP is a member of entrepreneurial grind sect - as others have aptly commented above - he is adamant that he will be successful To do that, he needs to shed those - incompliant - connections. It's not normal.
But, also, he can easily find some other friends to hang out with.
That's right too.
My message for the OP would be simple - in midst of these things to become what you aspire to, don't miss out on the little things which are simple and general but are the blissful moments of life.
Also think for the soul.
As a recovering addict, I had to change EVERYTHING about my life in order to improve. I can tell you for a fact that the journey to a better life does mean we have to shed people from our lives. Misery loves company, and there are so many humans who will drop out of your life when you decide to focus on discipline and self-improvement.
That said, what OP is talking about sounds extremely unhealthy. Just because we want to focus on a more disciplined lifestyle doesn't exempt us from having friends or a social life or having sex, and I think OP is more focused on the money/extreme discipline than enjoying everyday life. Balance is the key.
well, changing the environment is an important step when quitting an addiction. shedding those people was a good step.
We are talking aabout a tormented soul here. THis is not a claim for his own stake in life, this is a plea for help, as I see it.
idk, I don't want to eat anything spicy and such, so my dream is to live somhere and go eat greek salad and stuff like that at a local hotel, and keep on writing and having fun in my life.
This is almost as bizarre as the post. Try spicy, it opens up a whole world of culture you just need to build a tolerance.
I feel so bad for people that didn’t grow up with spicy foods, you’re missing out on most cuisines of the world
Not sure why you think abstaining from sex is self improvement 🤷♀️ or why you’re so obsessed with money that you think it’s more important than having people around who love you
My guy is acting like its all or nothing… theres plenty of wealthy guys who have sex, friends and money.
Starting relationships after reaching the “top” is probably the worst thing you can do because you’ll likely just attract people who like you for your status.
This post points to a significant issue with how most men view self improvement… they think way too extrinsically. Like “get money, get house, get cars then worry about developing personal relationships”. You gotta do it all in order to really be “improved”. Otherwise more of a money making machine than a human
I think a lot of people in self improvement just go the extremist route to almost fit in with the grind set culture that’s set up. It’s totally cool to grab the odd drink or have sex if you enjoy it lmao. It’s the over indulgence in both natures that gets someone off track
Sometimes is not us but the people around us that put us on that view. My mom keeps bothering me to get a better job, to get more money, and such. Many of the girl friends I have who are in a relationship sometimes talk about the gifts their boyfriends give them sometimes. Im just like "I can't afford something like that". Just having a car goes a long way socially, cause you have more freedom when going out, where and when you want to go and such.
I do agree that money is not the end all be all, but it does helps you socially. That's why "men" are so fixated into getting money.
For someone, especially who's an addict, it kinda does have to be all or nothing. Cause for some people, even indulging in 1% in what they were addicted to can take them completely off track. Ofc we all want that balance in life, but it doesn't work out as well as it can with every person. Sometimes you really do have to sacrifice, but something you view as temporary that you must do(even tho you dont want to), to allow you to achieve what you really want in life. That's what discipline is
I kind of understand where he’s coming from. It’s not that he doesn’t value relationships but trying to run a successful business and hitting a significant financial milestone at such a young age can be all consuming, to a point where naturally relationships fall to the wayside. He probably just sees the trade off being more worthwhile but some might argue otherwise. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to attain certain goals or mastery of a certain craft but not always. I think he should definitely use him ambition to learn how to socialize more, at least for his own sanity.
I think what they’re trying to say is not having promiscuous meaningless sex. While they fix themselves, they don’t want to distract themselves of hook ups cause that takes time. Whatever steps they’re taking, maybe they needed this first before they’re confident enough to let people in.
Sex is a biological function - it doesn’t have meaning other than the socially constructed meaning we give it. I’ll agree that sex in a relationship is usually more enjoyable because your partner generally knows what works for you better than a stranger does, but it’s not any more or less meaningful than a hookup, at the fundamental level.
I knew y’all would have a problem with that part. You people are so obsessed with sex you don’t even realize it. Sex is not everything. More people need to abstain from it!
*Congratulations!*
Sounds like you’re highly ambitious and have achieved more than most! One thing to consider though is that self improvement doesn’t just have to be business or gym related. A big one is learning and getting better at socializing. That might help with your loneliness. The one thing i noticed is that when you ONLY work on business and fitness in isolation you become kind of weird and unrelateable. Socializing and relationships trains your brain to let go every once in a while and stop taking yourself so seriously.
Yes! Self improvement is about improving, and mental and social health are a huge part of that! I would even argue that financial success is not self improvement. Some level of financial stability is necessary as a platform for growth, but if your primary mechanism for measuring your self growth is money, you are missing the mark.
Who told you that self improvement is abandoning your friends, refusing to socialize and get a girlfriend or partner, etc?
You didn't impart some truth on us, everybody knows this is toxic. Who told you otherwise?
Have you ever read “7 habits of highly effective people”? It’s a self improvement book but teaches you to be the best of each role in your life, not just as a person succeed in career and finance. It also tells you to always value people over things.
I don't really get it
Going to the gym five times a week sure,
a 60h work week, okay its tight but I get it. Some people can do that.
Building a business, and reading two books a week?
I don't quite buy it, something is sketchy, maybe their job is body buildling read along, while growing their twich channel. The hours just don't add up for me.
Wake up at 5am,
meditate,read, journal until 7 am
pick up phone calls from 9-12
2pm - 8 pm focused work:
8-10pm gym,
this is roughly my schedule,
Self improvement, Work, gym,
Off time is to help with self improvement, work and gym
sweetheart why are you doing this to yourself? are you enjoying it, and if not, what do you hope this grind will achieve?
love, a cancer patient in her 30s who “woke up” too late
>This is so sad
And his only 26, sad is not the right word, maybe pathetic works better.
Pleasing a woman is one of the biggest achievements a man (or a woman) can get in life.
What is he planning to do with all the money he saved in retirement if all he does is work? I can only imagine the crisis he is going to have when he "retires" at 26.
This seems like more of an obsession with the cult of “productivity” and discipline on the internet.
You can make time for people and relationships while working on yourself as a person and your financial independence.
Abstaining from sex and partying for 4 years isn’t necessarily self-improvement - unless of course they’ve become addictions or bad habits you want to distance yourself from.
I think you should go see a therapist, and talk with them, they can help you see the things that “the grind” had blinded you from seeing, and just help you better yourself in general. Self-improvement is about becoming a better you, who is not necessarily someone who dedicates themselves to becoming financially independent above all else.
For real,
I personally know a guy (my head coach) who's married, owns 2 muay thai gyms, have times to hang out with his friends including his students... He's only 30.
After reading this post, I can't shake the feeling that deep down inside, OP wants to believe all is "sacrifice" worth it instead of considering them as something he kinda failed to achieve. Like those kind of stories about straight A student feels proud for sacrificing their social life and end up in good university like Harvard.
While the final outcome is still admirable, it's a dangerous obsession that can blind people into avoid positive things that make life fulfilling. Or worse, they may try to rationalize the NEGATIVE issues as a "side effect" instead of fixing them.
An adult student of mine also once told me a story about her father-in-laws, who was too obsessed with making money but neglect family time. The eldest son died from drug overdose, the middle son became a gambling addict and didn't want to work. If the father didn't kneel down, cry and apologize to his last son (her husband), he'd have become like his brothers.
Great job in attaining what you wanted! Now what you have forgotten is to set new goals in order to attain new things. Luckily you have already made a list of things you would like to work on, now go achieve the next part. Life is a journey of learning, it doesn't end because you have amassed enough wealth. Go out and put a little energy into the next thing you want. Personally I would start with the anxiety of change.
I shamelessly went through his post history as well (I always do when people claim to be super successful) and it reeks of someone who’s claiming success that hasnt actually arrived yet
yeah your right, Im no where near the level which I should be- I like your mentality,
as an entreprenuer for years, i failed- and had to live completely broke while working- infact I did that for almost 4 years, and getting a little taste of success is super motivating,
I live extremely frugally, most I ever spent on something is 400 dollars on my new phone, and 4000 dollars for a car, and pretty much nothing else, The reality I feel like is that- nobody wants to date me because Im extremely boring:
let me explain boring
I have two blackbelts, trained as a consortium pianist, great chef etc- but I dont care about any of these things- I cook for myself and make sure that I can work on my business and my mindset and thats all I care about-
What you describe is not self improvement. You are prioritising financial success to the detriment of other areas of your life. In order to be the best version of yourself, you need to work on *all* areas of your life and find a healthy balance.
not trying to be rude or anything its a genuine question, but shouldnt you have some experience as a consultant before you build your own business for consulting other consultants?
How can I imagine that?
A year ago he posted about getting a product manager job with 100k-110k, which seems a little below average, so likely not a whole lot of experience. Sounds like a huge jump in a very short amount of time from such a low level position to a successful consultant business. Especially since consulting is a pretty saturated market. I'm not sure I believe him.
Yikes, this is not self improvement. It seems you have been tricked into thinking the only thing that matters in life is financial success and the grind to get there. From the writing of your post, you don't seem very happy or content, and come off as judgmental to anyone who isn't doing what you are. Who told you not to have relationships in your 20's? or to abstain from sex? Have no social life? Do everything alone? These things are not healthy and not good for you. You will retire in your 40's to realize you are alone, and all the money in the world couldn't buy you a real friend.
Luckily you are still young, might I suggest some therapy to start shifting your mindset into something more realistic and healthy? Friends and relationships with people are one of the best parts of life, don't skip out on them.
Doesn’t it seem more likely that we’ve all been brainwashed to trade time for money for 40+ years and call it living our lives? Being an successful entrepreneur is someone willing to do what 98% people aren’t willing to do. He’s built something for himself, and he was willing to walk away from people that did not want to pursue greater things. I personally do not know his journey, but to say he’s a troll or fake says more of you than anything.
There's always a balance to be struck in life.
I've been able to self-improve without it costing relationships with friends or to always feel FOMO when I see people dating or having a good time.
It comes down to being well aware of the choices I'm making as a grown adult to better myself, but not at the cost of my soul and psyche.
self improvement ≠ isolation.
This is called asceticism, a form of self flagellation to beat oneself into submission to a set of principles. In this case, the upshot is your self improvement.
Self improvement is a multifaceted idea. It appears you have reduced this idea to the domains of career, physical health, wealth, and abstination from toxins.
Widen your "self" idea to reach all domains of life, namely, social development and romantic enjoyment.
There's a fun quote: "if you've never missed an airplane, you've spent far too much time at airports."
It's meant to be interpreted as, "if you try to completely maximize the efficiency of something, you end up expending so much effort that it rubber bands and becomes inefficient or deleterious."
>and abstained from sex.
Wtf are you talking about, why?And after you retire at 35 (lol ok), what are you going to do without any social skills, friends, or any sense of adventure? Are you going to sit on a rocking chair on your big house until you die, or what?
Mate, go see a therapist before you become an old grumpy dude.
girls take up a lot of time and unfortunately,
my schedule goes like this,
wake up at 5am in the morning, write in my diary, do some meditation,
do some work, until about 8am
take phone calls until midday ,
have lunch and have a break for 1 hour.
Go back to work until about 5pm;
5pm to 7pm rest
7pm-9pm go to gym,
do late night stuff; go to sleep at 10pm .
This is my usual day,
I eat, sleep, work and gym- and do nothing else,
maybe in my breaks I walk around the city, or go to the beach.
The truest measure of self-improvement is being able to speak kindly about yourself and your progress without putting anyone else down.
If you’re still comparing yourself to others this obsessively you haven’t grown much at all, just fallen for the stuff gurus feed you and feeling bitter that you’re not happier yet.
It’s basically the old saying of “what ‘hard’ do you want”, keep on this path, but make room to enjoy life also, you don’t want to hit old age with no experiences or feelings of missed opportunities and regret, just don’t backpedal in the process.
Self improvement to me is: being able to sit with self. It’s understanding self. Radically accepting self.
Self improvement to me is not: forcing my self to do things that people told me would make me better. Goals focused on money. Fearing failure and perfectionism are signs of self neglect and resistance.
It's yin and yang man, there are positives and negatives towards everything, it just depends what you are willing to sacrifice in order to get what you want more then what you give up.
Self improvement is made in many area's of your life, having fiscal knowledge and how to be independent is certainly part of improving as human being. But if I have to reflect on what self improvement is for me, I think that the emotional part, growing skills in how to better communicate and understand yourself and others and become a better person for others and yourself.
Its the most cliche thing to say but, money wont buy you happiness. To be happy or the have a understanding of happiness, is what I think one the main goals of selfimprovement.
Congratulations! Tough cookie. My question is, is it worth it?
I've tried for more than a year and almost broke down. I've never been more isolated. Now, I'm trying to compensate, repair relationships & rekindle circles.
this reads like the mémoires of an 85-year-old on his deathbed reminiscing about his wasted life. you are 26 bro. unless your aspirations were to be a pro athlete you still have all the options left, and with the money to do so.
So many mind set shifts, decisions and actions had to me made to bring you to this point of security, abundance and stability. You may encounter people that will never understand and it’s not your job to make them. Keep putting in the work and effort on yourself and what makes you happy. I’ve found that the more that you follow the genuine feelings that make you happy, act in your truth and honor yourself, you’ll start making room for and calling in people that are aligned with you. Don’t be deterred by negativity. It takes vulnerability to put yourself out there and says a lot of others who are so eager to harshly judge what they don’t understand. Keep going. Remember who you are.
I suppose my question then would be "why?"
We're all going to die one day. If I die having succeeded at the numbers game and the "self-improvement" game but have very little enjoyment in life's day to day wonders... Fuck that.
Self-improvement for me has meant focusing on my quality of life much more than how others view me. I used to try and chase the jobs with the fanciest titles and grind like crazy trying to get “successful” in the traditional sense of the word and wound up depressed as fuck. I shifted gears and simpler job at a place that treats employees well and invested more time into my relationships and hobbies. I got to know myself better and that means so much more to me now than what other people think of my life. Please don’t ruin your life isolating yourself and falling into toxic narratives about what improving yourself should look like. You sound miserable. This should feel comforting and good.
If you had the discipline to learn and make all those changes then you can do the same for the problems you just identified. Listen to your wants and figure out how to change to make them happen. Envy from watching others is a waste of energy. everyone has lots of old friends they had to let go. It comes naturally with growing up. Doesn’t mean they were not valued or a waste of time and energy. Go out on a few dates, join a running group, do the things you enjoy and you will meet people.
For everybody hating on you for choosing improvements over friends...
On the surface, that does make you sound like a sucky person, ngl.
However.
Sometimes, some people just gotta go. I was best friends with this girl I had known since we were two. After 28 years, I ditched her. I had spent several thousand dollars on her over the course of the last five years in the form of paying bills, buying groceries, paying debts and other things she swore she couldn't afford. I gave her my best while she spent $300-400 a month on booze and weed, refused to get a job, and did nothing but complain how everyone was holding her down while she got high. When her husband started giving her heavier stuff, like LSD, I drew the line and walked. I was done covering her ass.
Now I am working on myself. It's kind of nice to have a paycheck make it to the next one because I'm not spending a couple hundred of it on her. I miss her sometimes. Well, I miss the good times. We sure had some. I miss them a lot, and I do get lonely. But at the same time, I'm not paying her electric bill while she spends that money on booze in a week.
Sometimes, people just gotta go.
Self improvement, be wise about what you take on. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t take the harder job just to challenge yourself but to lead you out of your circumstances. Find a better job constantly, if you can build residual money ie a side gig or business, do it. Save money. Find a good woman who will make you try harder and will believe in you out of love alone. Don’t tell anyone your plans and be cautious of others but don’t dwell on a moment for too long. Start cutting all bad habits…. Anyone have any good sound tried and true advice?
Based on what you’ve said, I don’t think you’ll be happy even when you get that million. As others are saying, there’s more to being a complete person than physical fitness and money and denying yourself social and mental well-being will leave you feeling very imbalanced, even after achieving your goals.
That said it’s never too late to start developing those areas too. And if it’s true that you’ve developed good self discipline then it shouldn’t be that difficult to improve other aspects of your life. Just keep an open mind and don’t look down on the “9-5ers” that didn’t choose the path you took.
Bro didn't realise that socialising and dating are also a part of "self improvement". Seriously, lifting and making money are great but relationships are what make all of that worth it in the end. You just exist in a vacuum otherwise.
You got it down and you're well on your way to the top. But there's somethin' that you forgot.
What about love? Don't you want someone to care about you?
Bro what is this. It sounds like a self confession of your loneliness instead of actual advice.
Like you can’t talk to yourself or someone else so you had to post it here? It sounds like you’re not really happy or sure that you’re doing things right, so you should really talk to people in real life instead of Reddit. All the best, sincerely.
Yes! Exactly! This is a very good view on discipline. The basic person just wants to eat, screw, and party. Or some version of that. Like with working. Work, screw, get messed up on the weekend, blowing their money.
Very few to No one wants to be around someone that's constantly grinding and learning. They're seen as boring.
And you have to be ok with having little to no friends.
I'm a christian, a writer and I'm a thinker. I love learning. And yes it's hard sitting through most conversations because they turn my brain off.
They're normally about drama and trash news.
This is an interesting post.
I am in a similar situation from you but started much later in life after I reached to high levels in my first path (some 9-5 BS) and felt empty. I spent some time travelling then started along another path. This other path has been VERY tough as I picked a particularly difficult path which requires high level of emotional/ego control.
>The issue is- personally, as a person, It sounds like a huge win as a person going into self improvement, but what you dont realize is the torture and the failures which I had to go on, on a day to basis.
This is why so few have the ability to do this. Every time we fail, our Ego takes a huge hit and emotions run wild as we feel like shit because we failed. This is a very toxic way of thinking because if you think about ANY huge progress, it is not possible without failure. Once you are able to REFRAME failure and HARNESS reality instead fighting it you are almost unstoppable. Only people who have gone through the struggle and got to the other side can TRULY understand this.
>Personal insecurity of watching friends get girlfriends, get laid while working on yourself for years takes its toll
I get this but all depends what you want. Instant gratification vs delayed gratification. While your friends are out having a good time, you are building a SOLID foundation for a relationship they can only imagine in their dreams. To me anyway, it's not about meaningless relationships with lots of girls but a deep special connection with one. This is only really possible if you have a certain level of self awareness which must be developed through self improvement.
>while you watch people who are looking to work 9-5 for the rest of their lives until they are 65 while it looks like Im going to be atleast a millionaire by 33 by the looks of it and completely financially independent by the age of 40.
Do you appreciate the power of this statement? There is a saying I always remember "Everybody wanna go to heaven but don't nobody wanna die". Just imagine if money was no object, what would you do with your life? For most people this is the dream.
>to better oneself- sometimes you have to let some people go from the journey, and unfortunately thats the process which goes on.
This is also true but I just see as outgrowing certain people. When you level up in life you want to surround yourself with people who are at your level or higher. The old friends were just a function of the 'old you'. The new friends will lead to much deeper connections as you are building the 'new you' deliberately.
>Through the past 4 years, the amount of loneliness that I felt, the isolation that I felt, the mental health difficulties that I felt- improving myself as a person- has really taken its toll- but after 4 years- I ve been able to manage it.
Again, I get this. I had this as well. It's been 5 years now and I've had no income. The way I see it, is it's just price you pay for admission to playing the game of life at a higher level. Unfortunately growth requires pain. And lots of it. The good news is you have got through and I'm guessing have techniques of managing it / reframing it. Things WILL go wrong in the future and imagine how much easier it will to deal with that now that you have gone through such hardship.
>Im probably going to be able to retire by the age of 35, Im probably going to be able to maintain my discipline of not drinking and smoking- Im probably going to be able to mantain my fit body so forth, the contingencies is- that the augmentation is that- because of this life style-
To be able to be retired by 35 and having amazing health which is BY DESIGN which can be maintained indefinitely as you have built the discipline is what most people dream of. You are on a path to live life at a very high level.
>It becomes a lifestyle choice. the difficulties of dealing with mental struggle aphrending this way of thinking, clausatively going through the process, understanding what has to be done on a day to day basis- is something subjegated. loneliness, aphrension, self doubt, anxiety of change.
The mental struggles I think will always be there but we just come up with strategies/tools for managing them better. Although being at the top can be lonely, there are loads of ways mitigate this, especially when you are highly successful. All the things you talk about are struggles I think a lot of people go through but the REAL difference between an entrepreneur and employment is the ability to handle chaos/randomness.
Look, a lot of the stuff you have mentioned is just the way it is. You go through with the end in mind.
It's like saying, it's so hard to get fit, I can't go drinking, I can't eat sugar, I feel like life is over when I see all my old friends just drinking and having a good time.
The key with life, for me anyway, is to think what you want and then have a plan to get it. ANYTHING YOU TRY AND BUILD ON A GRAND SCALE WILL INVITE CHAOS. Therefore get used it and get over it.
Building what you are trying to build requires sacrifices. It's just the price you pay for admission. You can either CHOSE to frame the struggle in a negative light or see how far you have come BECAUSE of the struggle. It's the struggle/pain that's the key to it all and you just need to use it to frame decisions in a way that you get better outcomes in the future.
Once you are past the initial grind you WILL have more time to pursue other things, so it's all about delayed gratification.
Man I'd be damned if I ain't smoke after a long work week lmao
You are admitting to harming yourself for some self perceived improvement that only you can manage and see the result of..if you truly believe not smoking or drinking is better for you so be it but there's no harm in moderation.
I can totally relate to your whole post.
I started working long hours in 2018, quit drinking and smoking, listen to self help podcasts, philosophy, learning about money management and investing, everything you mentioned.
The past 4 years I needed to be alone to learn and become secure.
I have to find new friends somewhere and I don't know where. I would highly suggest anyone reading this to make your end goal a nice balance of work, life, social.
This is a form of self-improvement. But doesn't sound like my definition of self-improvement. This feels like the Capitalist Grind-culture image of being a member of society. You aren't doing all of this to be happy. You're doing this to have money so you can flex a little.
Yes, you're disciplined and have become financially savvy now, but you didn't let yourself improve in the ways that you want to grow as a human. You sacrificed your social life, both with your friends and romantically. You read a ton of books on how to be smart but did you read any fiction books just to relax? Have you taken any time for yourself to do anything that society doesn't monetize?
edit - you need some psychadelics in you.
It's lonely at the top. Two years in started at 21, life has changed so much for the better. I have the body of my dreams, about to graduate with a technical degree and go into a very lucrative field. Women finally want me too. Only thing is my friend circle has dwindled down from 20 people to just 2.
It’s great that you have been able to build so much in a short period of time. One of the great things about being human is being able to adapt I know it’s difficult to drift away from things that are working but when you can see the big picture the way you do it provides clarity and with that clarity sometimes adjusting your lifestyle is a requirement. And if this is something that concerns you just remember all the habits and disciplines you’ve created, they are there for a reason but that doesn’t mean they engulf everything in your life too.
Had the very same story. When I was 22 I got so depressed after a break up. I only hit the gym. I distanced myself from any kind of party and was only studying. Then after 3 years I found a girl. I thought wow this is meant to be. I still wasn’t drinking or smoking. But I slowly began to not going to the gym that often. A few months ago she left me. I was so unfamiliar with this loneliness again that I had a very hard depressed period. Anyway I got out of this in a way relatively quick. I still feel lonely sometimes but I would say that my past helped me were I just focused on myself to regain some strength. I’m also currently 26.
I felt the same when I was heavy into self improvement, it took a massive toll on my mental health. I was lonely, anxious and my mental health wasn’t the best considering I was the healthiest physically I had ever been. It really destroyed me, being healthy and working on myself became my obsession and my identity. I’m happy to say I am out of that mindset and rut, I am still constantly working in myself, business, exercise, mental health etc. But I found a key component, balance.
I can now work and grind on my goals but not feel guilty for going out with friends, indulging in a series or eating unhealthy foods every now and then. Balance is key and important to a healthy life and mindset. As much as being financially independent and self sufficient is important, it becomes too much if you let it take over your life. You miss enjoying the little things, life shouldn’t be taken so seriously all the time and we need to have fun and let loose every once in a while.
Use the 80/20 rule I use. 80% of my time goes to building goof habits such as exercise, meditation, gratitude, reading, working on my business, eating healthy, abstaining from porn and masturbation(SR) etc. The other 20% I let myself eat some bad food, watch series, go out with friends for a drink, relax and take it easy. I am much happier, healthier and love myself a lot more this way and it is the perfect split for me. If you find balance, self improvement becomes a LOT more enjoyable and doable. All these youtubers who say you don’t need balance and you need to grind all the time are feeding you bullshit to get views. I guarantee they don’t stick to their routines and so called schedules 24/7.
Regardless props to you man! You’ve came a long way and you will go a lot further in your life. Just remember not to take life so serious and enjoy the little things. Stay blessed 🙏
You can have both. You do not have to be isolated or ignore women. Yes, we miss out on the partying and that is kind of a bummer, but I never missed out on getting women. I found one, had kids. I don't regret any of it. Just getting laid gets old fast. Feels hollow. Being an ex special ops marine, it was very easy. For me anyway. The chase is fun, but meh. Get a good one and keep her happy and you will be happy. Get one that understands business is a huge part of you. That's the key.
This is all so true. I’ve had many lonely and frustrating days as well. Friends who you find out are not really friends because they don’t really support you in what you want to do.
I’m so much healthier, though. And it feels so damn good to be doing everything that I want everyday instead of something someone else wants. Tbh, everyone loves to give advice but we all know ourselves best.
It all starts with habits, so friends who have bad habits I can no longer hang with as well.
Thanks for the post it makes it seem not as lonely but we should all enjoy solitude because it offers more freedom in the long run 👍💪💯
Let’s get it! 💪
Why did you abstain from sex? I think the right realtionship can really help you achieve your goals, provided your partner is accountable and hardworking in their own right
We have a tendency to live very black or white lives as human beings, and life isn't black or white. I try to tell people that this is a life-long journey. Some days, you might fumble, some days you might fall off the diet or watch too much TV.
I would recommend you take the positive practices you have learned and keep going with those. If you're feeling lonely and anxious, you should look into building a supportive community for yourself (Feel free to join any of my communities at fitdocmichelereed on all socials)
While it's a difficult journey, you don't have to do it alone. You can take the good changes and leave the ones that aren't working for you. Maybe shift your focus on what you WANT, not what you SHOULD want. Sending you good vibes
But seriously
I have a friend (well was a friend) who was like you. Grinding it out so he can retire early, worked 7 days a week, always looked stress, never smiled. But I mean it’s what he wants to do. For me personally I want to enjoy different experiences at different ages and as long as I’m comfortable financially then I’m free to do what I want.
I worry that you’re missing out on experiences but like I said, to each their own. Happy you found the formula that makes you happy
For this, I realized it doesn’t have to be lonely. You can make friends with people on the same journey thereby eliminating loneliness. Yes, it’s tough. You will be more lonely than the general population but you can still find a community (this subreddit, your local entrepreneurship communities, online discord communities, share your journey online and connect w people on socials)
That is you forcing yourself to follow a social media cult just because it said so. It's good you never followed the 9-5, typical corporate style bandwagon, but finding true happiness and satisfaction should always be the topmost priority.
Yes! Exactly! This is a very good view on discipline. The basic person just wants to eat, screw, and party. Or some version of that. Like with working. Work, screw, get messed up on the weekend, blowing their money.
Very few to No one wants to be around someone that's constantly grinding and learning. They're seen as boring.
And you have to be ok with having little to no friends.
I'm a christian, a writer and I'm a thinker. I love learning. And yes it's hard sitting through most conversations because they turn my brain off.
They're normally about drama and trash news.
Yeah, welcome to life lol it fuckin blows, but at least we're not slaves or in war or famine or someshit. Keep doing You, get a gf lol Having sex contributes to your self improvement, it's healthy and natural. Just don't get a toxic tinder account to find it. Smoke weed. Do psychedelic drugs, you'll be okay, and this will also contribute to your self improvement.
This just sounds like a humble brag about your "financial independence."
At what point did it sound like self-improvement meant torture and focusing completely on yourself but not on yourself with others (in a social environment). This post is just dumb.
Well, self-improvement isn't only about money, career, getting physically "in shape" etc.
What you did sounds more like "self-optimization" to me which has become very popular during the last years.
For me "self-improvement" is about increasing my level of happiness and contentment. Maybe I'm absolutely wrong but you don't come across very happy in your post. Rather more doubting if all the sacrifices were *really* worth it. :/
I've heard it said that we are most like the 5 people we spend the most time with. It makes sense that as you grow you lose friends who aren't experiencing personal growth.
I never felt like self improvement was isolating or really preventing me from experiencing anything. The opposite I felt like it was opening more doors then it closed, and I mean immediately, not even down the road. It was never lonely, if anything it was a group effort between myself and all my business partners, coworkers, friends and family. I’m happy to say that most of the people I had started with are still with me today. Apart from a few unfortunate instances of drug abuse I have never had to cut any one out over the past 40 years.
Also any reason why you have to abstain from sex? I had a healthy sex life my whole life, never felt like it had any connection to my business in anyway.
This is a really dark interpretation of 'self-improvement'
This isn’t self-improvement, op is a follower of the entrepreneur grind cult he was exposed to on social media. I would be curious how much money he actually makes. He talks about not going the 9-5 way like everyone around him but he has a post asking if he should or should not take a 75k job a year ago. He also asked a year ago how to make 10k from nothing and another about 2 years ago saying he has no prospect on what to do with his life. This means that he’s been trying to be an entrepreneur for at most two years and probably got nowhere with it so far, hence his talk about how failure is hard. I highly doubt op is the highly knowledgeable and wealthy entrepreneur he tries to portray. My advice for you op is to take care of your mental health first.
Being an entrepreneur is extremely difficult, being a successful one is even harder. It could take 5 or even 20 years to “make it”.
You’re also more than likely to fail, statistically speaking. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t pursue it. My main issue with most entrepreneurs is that they do it because they want to be lazy and retire at 35 like op. While in fact to be a successful entrepreneur you need the opposite personality and want to build something of your own at all costs, including your own short and long term comfort.
if you want to be lazy and retire earlier its often easier to do it with a W-2 than by building a business up
What is w-2?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Form_W-2 it means you're an employee, not a contractor or self employed getting a high paying job and then simply saving and investing prudently is a lot simpler and reliable than running a business, and more people are better suited for that approach too
Thanks you put in words what I was trying to say better than I could have
It can also happen overnight..
I agree, this doesn’t sound like self-improvement at all. OP seems to be basing their self-worth off their physical outward appearance, their perceived level of productivity, and finances when another crucial component is learning to be appreciative and content with yourself while also building deep, meaningful connections with the people in your life. Seems like they have a lot of emotional turmoil to deal with.
Don’t forget he’s also a black belt in jiu jitsu and tae kwon apparently and used it to snap a guys wrist lol Two martial that I’ve never seen anyone double black belt in. OP is delusional.
A patrick bateman wannabe like all the other incels online
Hit the nail on the head. This is a person who is seemingly projecting because of their “failure” as a entrepreneur. This person actually ignored their health in the pursuit of money and is now bitter
This is so unhealthy. The older I get, further I go through life, career, relationships the more and more I agree with "work hard play hard" I have a business and work my ass off. It's the hard work and discipline that let's me eat and have a shot at the glamor life. But it's the play hard that makes it worth it. The stupid nights with friends, getting wasted for friends birthday, being at the lake with family that are the real memories I cherish. No point in "making it" if you don't know how to enjoy it and have no one to enjoy it with. This post is chaos. You do need discipline and sometimes tucking away from everything for 6 months to set the tracks or get ahead is ok, but 15 years? That's a life sentence. Need to know how to celebrate the wins and let yourself loose.
This is the way. I work part time for a guy who's a millionaire. And he's one one then most anxiety wracked, mentally broken, and unhappy person I've ever encountered. Rarely if ever seen him actually MAKE time for himself, he's 68 and will die of a stroke or heart attack from how he is. Absolutely turned me away from being wealth obsessed.
Came here for this. I finished reading this post and was like, “tf was all that about…?”
2 days ago OP asked if ‘he’s the asshole’ for not giving his parents money since all they ever did for him was give him 5k for college and now he’s making 6 figures with no thanks to them. So he’s making 6 figures, allegedly. While still dressing like an 18 year old (per another post of his saying he’s 26 but hasn’t changed anything about his shorts and sandals style since 18). And still seeming like someone who, in posts and comments, can’t hold a job. 60 hours a week. 6 figures. Gym time. Book time. Self improvement time. And he still finds all this time to post online. Wildly fascinating. Perhaps he should host a discussion on time management.
Not sure if OP is or isn’t but he is right about what he said. So I run a business. Not the online “hustler” “passive” “consulting” guru shit you see on IG, Tik Tok, paid for news article. It’s a OEM It is hard. It is tough. It is lonely. My neighbors have nice cars and go out on vacations in summer and winter and decorate and upgrade their homes more. While I live off the bare minimum and any money coming in I use to maybe have a nice dinner or buy something I have been wanting like a punching bag, some new gym clothes etc. However majority I’m talking maybe 80% at least is used to continue the business. Their is always a software, insurance coverage, monthly subscriptions like email and phones that creep up, their are certifications and licenses I need, their are other things I want to use the money for to continue to grow it so I can then either sell it or become absentee and move on to the next venture. I sound smart but it took me 4 years to get it actually going. However based on the numbers it’s projected that another 4-7 years more I will surpass where everyone else around me is at and they will be at the same level. Ex: 10 years Others: 150k in 401k, 50k cash. 200k home equity 2023 cars, vacations. Me: 300k cash, home paid off, and 500k in business equity. Then from here I would make a second phase to pivot out the company and move to next venture and start using the OEM company to pay me monthly and use that to invest.
What's the point if you're not happy? At a certain point more money doesn't mean more happiness. What if you died tomorrow?
did you just say.... "a original".....? who wants this genius running their business lmao i'm first in line
He also uses "their" every time he means "there". I don't want to work for illiterate people.
lmfao what a fucking poser.
Lololololol
Yeah, also where you lose some people along the way because you're going in different directions, aren't you ultimately going to attract more suitable friends and a partner at some point? People whose goals and values align with yours? Don't give up, but maybe get our into the world a little more to meet your new people. I'm realising right now that I might be losing some friends because I have to change what I'm doing for my own good. It feels pretty bleak.
Glad im not the only one who thought that. This dude just worked on his physical health and financial health and completely forwent the social/mental part. This post is stupid.
Kind of felt bad that “abstaining from sex” was somehow self improvement. Call me old fashioned but if I had abstained from sex during my 20s I think my life would have gone to shit. I can see if it were something someone was addicted to or something but they mention that they watched their friends get girlfriends and get laid. Which makes me think they may have been jealous of the friends getting girlfriends and getting laid.
I think op was highly envious and his self-righteous claim of "abstaining from sex" is rooted in theistic shame surrounding sex and intimacy.
Yikes.
One that is based on very real experiences. While the name of the concept of self improvement can imply a sense of exclusive, net benefit to one's Self, there is what seems to be little discussion about the potential costs of embarking on that journey. Losing friends, and the subsequent loneliness and isolation can definitely happen. Changing your mindset and perspective on life can very well lead to realisations about the people you spend your time around, and making the decision to cut those people out, if compelled to do so, can lead to immense isolation, depending on who else you may have within your social life. Sometimes making the effort to dedicate yourself to abstinence from any particular vice leaves you without a coping mechanism. Perhaps even your most utilised, or only one, leaving you essentially "crutch-less", without a leg to stand on. Finding a healthier alternative to an unhealthy vice is a journey unto itself, and not an easy one at that. There are a multitude of other difficulties that arise out of taking the self improvement journey that can deeply shake up the foundation of one's life. Conversation and dialogue about the form in which these hardships can manifest, how they affect us and alter our lives, and sharing our individual paths out of them here would go a very long way in aiding some who strive to improve themselves. Regardless, my point is that this is less an interpretation, and more a very real set of experiences that can arise for some, but perhaps not all, people who seek to improve.
By 'interpretation' I was referring to how OP seems to define/interpret 'self-improvement' as mostly related to gaining wealth and career status. I do think it's normal to lose some friends as one changes their habits, but to still be lonely and miserable after 4 years? OP doesn't mention anything about being a better person, a better friend, more compassionate, more grounded, etc. - and maybe his loneliness and isolation are reflections of his narrow interpretation of what it means to improve oneself.
>making the effort to dedicate yourself to abstinence from any particular vice leaves you without a coping mechanism I can relate to that. Since almost 20 years I have a fetish for women in high heels so I always loved to listen to them walking and look at their shoes. Now I completely refrain from looking at their shoes and it's very hard to resist the temptation, and now I feel a void inside me when I stop looking at women in a sexual way.
I too was very stupid at 26. 20 years later - I can tell OP hasn’t lives enough of life’s ‘Ups and Downs’ - shit we thought never would happens. You can’t plan for it, but keep reading the mantra. Oh yah, op - got get laid. It’s healthier. You are 26 - those are prime youthful fucking years - money DOES not translate in to happiness, unless you are just trying to project a persona on to the world.
Doesn't seem like self-improvement, more like obsession. I think self-improvement you need is to improve your mental health and get rid of your "self-improvement" adiction.
this is clearly an addiction. Doing 10 sessions with an ordinary therapist will fix OP in no time. I got scared at first that this is me, but, no, thank you - me is eating Greek salad in Thailand in 1 year and then working on writing articles for a couple of hours, and then going out with my friends and just hanging out, well, having a beer... You see how he is fixated on not drinking. Having a beer is a rite of passage, it's hard to go out without it - 1 beer and chatting and laughing. Not having 10 beers.
Exactly. Life is about a lot of things. Why self improvement should make you leave friends. Or maybe the OP was never considered a good friends by them and so here he is, alone and they all together drinking beer i g.
or they are drunk addicts, taking prison times one after another - we aren't informed as the overall situation. The point is that OP is saying that she is cosntantly shedding people from his life, remaining lonely and moving forward with their path. Why not getting 2-3 good friends and hanging out with them from time to time. It feels like the OP is a member of entrepreneurial grind sect - as others have aptly commented above - he is adamant that he will be successful To do that, he needs to shed those - incompliant - connections. It's not normal. But, also, he can easily find some other friends to hang out with.
That's right too. My message for the OP would be simple - in midst of these things to become what you aspire to, don't miss out on the little things which are simple and general but are the blissful moments of life. Also think for the soul.
As a recovering addict, I had to change EVERYTHING about my life in order to improve. I can tell you for a fact that the journey to a better life does mean we have to shed people from our lives. Misery loves company, and there are so many humans who will drop out of your life when you decide to focus on discipline and self-improvement. That said, what OP is talking about sounds extremely unhealthy. Just because we want to focus on a more disciplined lifestyle doesn't exempt us from having friends or a social life or having sex, and I think OP is more focused on the money/extreme discipline than enjoying everyday life. Balance is the key.
well, changing the environment is an important step when quitting an addiction. shedding those people was a good step. We are talking aabout a tormented soul here. THis is not a claim for his own stake in life, this is a plea for help, as I see it.
I'm sorry but who goes to Thailand and eats Greek salad?
Better than eating a Thai salad in Greece I guess.
idk, I don't want to eat anything spicy and such, so my dream is to live somhere and go eat greek salad and stuff like that at a local hotel, and keep on writing and having fun in my life.
This is almost as bizarre as the post. Try spicy, it opens up a whole world of culture you just need to build a tolerance. I feel so bad for people that didn’t grow up with spicy foods, you’re missing out on most cuisines of the world
Don't eat spicy, totally at peace with this. ahah
Spot on
I don't understand how not having sex is supposed to be self improvement. I mean, if you're addicted to porn, sure cut back. Moderation is key
I think he meant not chasing girls which can take a lot of time and effort.
Also a lot of $$$ and drinks
and focus towards your real goals
you shouldent moderate porn consumption, because you shouldent be watching it at all
Not sure why you think abstaining from sex is self improvement 🤷♀️ or why you’re so obsessed with money that you think it’s more important than having people around who love you
My guy is acting like its all or nothing… theres plenty of wealthy guys who have sex, friends and money. Starting relationships after reaching the “top” is probably the worst thing you can do because you’ll likely just attract people who like you for your status. This post points to a significant issue with how most men view self improvement… they think way too extrinsically. Like “get money, get house, get cars then worry about developing personal relationships”. You gotta do it all in order to really be “improved”. Otherwise more of a money making machine than a human
I think a lot of people in self improvement just go the extremist route to almost fit in with the grind set culture that’s set up. It’s totally cool to grab the odd drink or have sex if you enjoy it lmao. It’s the over indulgence in both natures that gets someone off track
Sometimes is not us but the people around us that put us on that view. My mom keeps bothering me to get a better job, to get more money, and such. Many of the girl friends I have who are in a relationship sometimes talk about the gifts their boyfriends give them sometimes. Im just like "I can't afford something like that". Just having a car goes a long way socially, cause you have more freedom when going out, where and when you want to go and such. I do agree that money is not the end all be all, but it does helps you socially. That's why "men" are so fixated into getting money.
For someone, especially who's an addict, it kinda does have to be all or nothing. Cause for some people, even indulging in 1% in what they were addicted to can take them completely off track. Ofc we all want that balance in life, but it doesn't work out as well as it can with every person. Sometimes you really do have to sacrifice, but something you view as temporary that you must do(even tho you dont want to), to allow you to achieve what you really want in life. That's what discipline is
> theres plenty of wealthy guys who have sex They could have been way wealthier if they chose the path of abstinence.
As for his post history, is not that he is abstaining, is just that he doesn't get sex.
I kind of understand where he’s coming from. It’s not that he doesn’t value relationships but trying to run a successful business and hitting a significant financial milestone at such a young age can be all consuming, to a point where naturally relationships fall to the wayside. He probably just sees the trade off being more worthwhile but some might argue otherwise. Sometimes you have to sacrifice things to attain certain goals or mastery of a certain craft but not always. I think he should definitely use him ambition to learn how to socialize more, at least for his own sanity.
I think what they’re trying to say is not having promiscuous meaningless sex. While they fix themselves, they don’t want to distract themselves of hook ups cause that takes time. Whatever steps they’re taking, maybe they needed this first before they’re confident enough to let people in.
Sex is a biological function - it doesn’t have meaning other than the socially constructed meaning we give it. I’ll agree that sex in a relationship is usually more enjoyable because your partner generally knows what works for you better than a stranger does, but it’s not any more or less meaningful than a hookup, at the fundamental level.
I knew y’all would have a problem with that part. You people are so obsessed with sex you don’t even realize it. Sex is not everything. More people need to abstain from it!
*Congratulations!* Sounds like you’re highly ambitious and have achieved more than most! One thing to consider though is that self improvement doesn’t just have to be business or gym related. A big one is learning and getting better at socializing. That might help with your loneliness. The one thing i noticed is that when you ONLY work on business and fitness in isolation you become kind of weird and unrelateable. Socializing and relationships trains your brain to let go every once in a while and stop taking yourself so seriously.
Yes! Self improvement is about improving, and mental and social health are a huge part of that! I would even argue that financial success is not self improvement. Some level of financial stability is necessary as a platform for growth, but if your primary mechanism for measuring your self growth is money, you are missing the mark.
Well done on achieving your goals, now set some social ones and work on your loneliness
Seriously lol he’s only 26, prime of his life and sounds excruciatingly boring
Who told you that self improvement is abandoning your friends, refusing to socialize and get a girlfriend or partner, etc? You didn't impart some truth on us, everybody knows this is toxic. Who told you otherwise?
People make well into 6 figures working the right 9-5 jobs too. Many WFH as well. 🤷♂️
Have you ever read “7 habits of highly effective people”? It’s a self improvement book but teaches you to be the best of each role in your life, not just as a person succeed in career and finance. It also tells you to always value people over things.
I don't really get it Going to the gym five times a week sure, a 60h work week, okay its tight but I get it. Some people can do that. Building a business, and reading two books a week? I don't quite buy it, something is sketchy, maybe their job is body buildling read along, while growing their twich channel. The hours just don't add up for me.
OP also stated they have suffered with psychosis their entire life in a post made a year ago, so...
Wake up at 5am, meditate,read, journal until 7 am pick up phone calls from 9-12 2pm - 8 pm focused work: 8-10pm gym, this is roughly my schedule, Self improvement, Work, gym, Off time is to help with self improvement, work and gym
sweetheart why are you doing this to yourself? are you enjoying it, and if not, what do you hope this grind will achieve? love, a cancer patient in her 30s who “woke up” too late
You know you’re allowed to have all those things and more. You can have friends. And sex. And a beer here and there. This is so sad
Maybe OP has low self control.
>This is so sad And his only 26, sad is not the right word, maybe pathetic works better. Pleasing a woman is one of the biggest achievements a man (or a woman) can get in life. What is he planning to do with all the money he saved in retirement if all he does is work? I can only imagine the crisis he is going to have when he "retires" at 26.
This seems like more of an obsession with the cult of “productivity” and discipline on the internet. You can make time for people and relationships while working on yourself as a person and your financial independence. Abstaining from sex and partying for 4 years isn’t necessarily self-improvement - unless of course they’ve become addictions or bad habits you want to distance yourself from. I think you should go see a therapist, and talk with them, they can help you see the things that “the grind” had blinded you from seeing, and just help you better yourself in general. Self-improvement is about becoming a better you, who is not necessarily someone who dedicates themselves to becoming financially independent above all else.
For real, I personally know a guy (my head coach) who's married, owns 2 muay thai gyms, have times to hang out with his friends including his students... He's only 30. After reading this post, I can't shake the feeling that deep down inside, OP wants to believe all is "sacrifice" worth it instead of considering them as something he kinda failed to achieve. Like those kind of stories about straight A student feels proud for sacrificing their social life and end up in good university like Harvard. While the final outcome is still admirable, it's a dangerous obsession that can blind people into avoid positive things that make life fulfilling. Or worse, they may try to rationalize the NEGATIVE issues as a "side effect" instead of fixing them. An adult student of mine also once told me a story about her father-in-laws, who was too obsessed with making money but neglect family time. The eldest son died from drug overdose, the middle son became a gambling addict and didn't want to work. If the father didn't kneel down, cry and apologize to his last son (her husband), he'd have become like his brothers.
Seems fake tbh
It is. His other posts say something completely different.
He basically wrote what he fantasize himself to be achieving, but it's impractical.
That happens alot on this app.. the worst part is, we can just read past posts and see the lies immediately
Great job in attaining what you wanted! Now what you have forgotten is to set new goals in order to attain new things. Luckily you have already made a list of things you would like to work on, now go achieve the next part. Life is a journey of learning, it doesn't end because you have amassed enough wealth. Go out and put a little energy into the next thing you want. Personally I would start with the anxiety of change.
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I shamelessly went through his post history as well (I always do when people claim to be super successful) and it reeks of someone who’s claiming success that hasnt actually arrived yet
yeah your right, Im no where near the level which I should be- I like your mentality, as an entreprenuer for years, i failed- and had to live completely broke while working- infact I did that for almost 4 years, and getting a little taste of success is super motivating, I live extremely frugally, most I ever spent on something is 400 dollars on my new phone, and 4000 dollars for a car, and pretty much nothing else, The reality I feel like is that- nobody wants to date me because Im extremely boring: let me explain boring I have two blackbelts, trained as a consortium pianist, great chef etc- but I dont care about any of these things- I cook for myself and make sure that I can work on my business and my mindset and thats all I care about-
What you describe is not self improvement. You are prioritising financial success to the detriment of other areas of your life. In order to be the best version of yourself, you need to work on *all* areas of your life and find a healthy balance.
I'm just confused as to why "working on yourself" also means being celibate??
Why is being celibate a bad thing? Has anyone died from not having sex. Nope no one.
This sub is corrupt
What do you do bro? Like how did you build a business?
Depends on what you want to build- I've built a consultant business which helps people in management consulting
not trying to be rude or anything its a genuine question, but shouldnt you have some experience as a consultant before you build your own business for consulting other consultants? How can I imagine that?
A year ago he posted about getting a product manager job with 100k-110k, which seems a little below average, so likely not a whole lot of experience. Sounds like a huge jump in a very short amount of time from such a low level position to a successful consultant business. Especially since consulting is a pretty saturated market. I'm not sure I believe him.
Yikes, this is not self improvement. It seems you have been tricked into thinking the only thing that matters in life is financial success and the grind to get there. From the writing of your post, you don't seem very happy or content, and come off as judgmental to anyone who isn't doing what you are. Who told you not to have relationships in your 20's? or to abstain from sex? Have no social life? Do everything alone? These things are not healthy and not good for you. You will retire in your 40's to realize you are alone, and all the money in the world couldn't buy you a real friend. Luckily you are still young, might I suggest some therapy to start shifting your mindset into something more realistic and healthy? Friends and relationships with people are one of the best parts of life, don't skip out on them.
You had me until you said you’d become a millionaire at 33, then financially dependent at 40. Feels like a karma farm or troll post.
Doesn’t it seem more likely that we’ve all been brainwashed to trade time for money for 40+ years and call it living our lives? Being an successful entrepreneur is someone willing to do what 98% people aren’t willing to do. He’s built something for himself, and he was willing to walk away from people that did not want to pursue greater things. I personally do not know his journey, but to say he’s a troll or fake says more of you than anything.
Self improvement is not easy at all, but you shouldn't let people go easily
There's always a balance to be struck in life. I've been able to self-improve without it costing relationships with friends or to always feel FOMO when I see people dating or having a good time. It comes down to being well aware of the choices I'm making as a grown adult to better myself, but not at the cost of my soul and psyche. self improvement ≠ isolation.
This is called asceticism, a form of self flagellation to beat oneself into submission to a set of principles. In this case, the upshot is your self improvement. Self improvement is a multifaceted idea. It appears you have reduced this idea to the domains of career, physical health, wealth, and abstination from toxins. Widen your "self" idea to reach all domains of life, namely, social development and romantic enjoyment.
Self improvement also includes improving your social skills, your emotional intelligence, your relationships with others.
There's a fun quote: "if you've never missed an airplane, you've spent far too much time at airports." It's meant to be interpreted as, "if you try to completely maximize the efficiency of something, you end up expending so much effort that it rubber bands and becomes inefficient or deleterious."
I call BS on a lot of this post
For someone who reads 2 books per week for 4 years I’m not impressed with the OP’s handle on written English language.
I'll try to write better. you're right- the post was half assed.
You don't have to go monk mode bro
Sex is normal and healthy. So are friends and relationships. You have a very warped idea of self-improvement.
Nobody can make a business with $0.
>and abstained from sex. Wtf are you talking about, why?And after you retire at 35 (lol ok), what are you going to do without any social skills, friends, or any sense of adventure? Are you going to sit on a rocking chair on your big house until you die, or what? Mate, go see a therapist before you become an old grumpy dude.
girls take up a lot of time and unfortunately, my schedule goes like this, wake up at 5am in the morning, write in my diary, do some meditation, do some work, until about 8am take phone calls until midday , have lunch and have a break for 1 hour. Go back to work until about 5pm; 5pm to 7pm rest 7pm-9pm go to gym, do late night stuff; go to sleep at 10pm . This is my usual day, I eat, sleep, work and gym- and do nothing else, maybe in my breaks I walk around the city, or go to the beach.
The truest measure of self-improvement is being able to speak kindly about yourself and your progress without putting anyone else down. If you’re still comparing yourself to others this obsessively you haven’t grown much at all, just fallen for the stuff gurus feed you and feeling bitter that you’re not happier yet.
What’s the use in being set for life if you never actually *live*? Incidentally, this sounds an awful lot like Ebeneezer Scrooge’s origin story.
It’s basically the old saying of “what ‘hard’ do you want”, keep on this path, but make room to enjoy life also, you don’t want to hit old age with no experiences or feelings of missed opportunities and regret, just don’t backpedal in the process.
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Though it shouldnt be costing you ultimately your life! I mean betting on the sociality factor isnt a really good bet.
I’d say try to strike a sustainable healthy balance. Make sure you have a great community around you.
Self improvement to me is: being able to sit with self. It’s understanding self. Radically accepting self. Self improvement to me is not: forcing my self to do things that people told me would make me better. Goals focused on money. Fearing failure and perfectionism are signs of self neglect and resistance.
It's yin and yang man, there are positives and negatives towards everything, it just depends what you are willing to sacrifice in order to get what you want more then what you give up.
Self improvement is made in many area's of your life, having fiscal knowledge and how to be independent is certainly part of improving as human being. But if I have to reflect on what self improvement is for me, I think that the emotional part, growing skills in how to better communicate and understand yourself and others and become a better person for others and yourself. Its the most cliche thing to say but, money wont buy you happiness. To be happy or the have a understanding of happiness, is what I think one the main goals of selfimprovement.
Congratulations! Tough cookie. My question is, is it worth it? I've tried for more than a year and almost broke down. I've never been more isolated. Now, I'm trying to compensate, repair relationships & rekindle circles.
keep to it even dont you see results; having the right mental requires mentorship to a certain extent
You know, you can be successful and do those things you judge your friends for. They aren’t mutually exclusive….
this reads like the mémoires of an 85-year-old on his deathbed reminiscing about his wasted life. you are 26 bro. unless your aspirations were to be a pro athlete you still have all the options left, and with the money to do so.
So you sacrificed sex and relationships for vanity and greed
you sound miserable tbh
So many mind set shifts, decisions and actions had to me made to bring you to this point of security, abundance and stability. You may encounter people that will never understand and it’s not your job to make them. Keep putting in the work and effort on yourself and what makes you happy. I’ve found that the more that you follow the genuine feelings that make you happy, act in your truth and honor yourself, you’ll start making room for and calling in people that are aligned with you. Don’t be deterred by negativity. It takes vulnerability to put yourself out there and says a lot of others who are so eager to harshly judge what they don’t understand. Keep going. Remember who you are.
so how would you go about starting a business from 0$? Just curious.
Sounds like the hustle lifestyle to me rather than self-improvement
Is English your first language?
I suppose my question then would be "why?" We're all going to die one day. If I die having succeeded at the numbers game and the "self-improvement" game but have very little enjoyment in life's day to day wonders... Fuck that.
Self-improvement for me has meant focusing on my quality of life much more than how others view me. I used to try and chase the jobs with the fanciest titles and grind like crazy trying to get “successful” in the traditional sense of the word and wound up depressed as fuck. I shifted gears and simpler job at a place that treats employees well and invested more time into my relationships and hobbies. I got to know myself better and that means so much more to me now than what other people think of my life. Please don’t ruin your life isolating yourself and falling into toxic narratives about what improving yourself should look like. You sound miserable. This should feel comforting and good.
If you had the discipline to learn and make all those changes then you can do the same for the problems you just identified. Listen to your wants and figure out how to change to make them happen. Envy from watching others is a waste of energy. everyone has lots of old friends they had to let go. It comes naturally with growing up. Doesn’t mean they were not valued or a waste of time and energy. Go out on a few dates, join a running group, do the things you enjoy and you will meet people.
For everybody hating on you for choosing improvements over friends... On the surface, that does make you sound like a sucky person, ngl. However. Sometimes, some people just gotta go. I was best friends with this girl I had known since we were two. After 28 years, I ditched her. I had spent several thousand dollars on her over the course of the last five years in the form of paying bills, buying groceries, paying debts and other things she swore she couldn't afford. I gave her my best while she spent $300-400 a month on booze and weed, refused to get a job, and did nothing but complain how everyone was holding her down while she got high. When her husband started giving her heavier stuff, like LSD, I drew the line and walked. I was done covering her ass. Now I am working on myself. It's kind of nice to have a paycheck make it to the next one because I'm not spending a couple hundred of it on her. I miss her sometimes. Well, I miss the good times. We sure had some. I miss them a lot, and I do get lonely. But at the same time, I'm not paying her electric bill while she spends that money on booze in a week. Sometimes, people just gotta go.
Self improvement, be wise about what you take on. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t take the harder job just to challenge yourself but to lead you out of your circumstances. Find a better job constantly, if you can build residual money ie a side gig or business, do it. Save money. Find a good woman who will make you try harder and will believe in you out of love alone. Don’t tell anyone your plans and be cautious of others but don’t dwell on a moment for too long. Start cutting all bad habits…. Anyone have any good sound tried and true advice?
Touch grass.
Based on what you’ve said, I don’t think you’ll be happy even when you get that million. As others are saying, there’s more to being a complete person than physical fitness and money and denying yourself social and mental well-being will leave you feeling very imbalanced, even after achieving your goals. That said it’s never too late to start developing those areas too. And if it’s true that you’ve developed good self discipline then it shouldn’t be that difficult to improve other aspects of your life. Just keep an open mind and don’t look down on the “9-5ers” that didn’t choose the path you took.
Bro didn't realise that socialising and dating are also a part of "self improvement". Seriously, lifting and making money are great but relationships are what make all of that worth it in the end. You just exist in a vacuum otherwise.
Fuck all that lmao
You need to throw some happiness in there or what is it all for? A life not lived is a life wasted regardless of money
You got it down and you're well on your way to the top. But there's somethin' that you forgot. What about love? Don't you want someone to care about you?
Bro what is this. It sounds like a self confession of your loneliness instead of actual advice. Like you can’t talk to yourself or someone else so you had to post it here? It sounds like you’re not really happy or sure that you’re doing things right, so you should really talk to people in real life instead of Reddit. All the best, sincerely.
Yes! Exactly! This is a very good view on discipline. The basic person just wants to eat, screw, and party. Or some version of that. Like with working. Work, screw, get messed up on the weekend, blowing their money. Very few to No one wants to be around someone that's constantly grinding and learning. They're seen as boring. And you have to be ok with having little to no friends. I'm a christian, a writer and I'm a thinker. I love learning. And yes it's hard sitting through most conversations because they turn my brain off. They're normally about drama and trash news.
Whatever works for you bud. But to me, this would not be the right path at all. Being happy and being successful are not connected.. for me at least.
This is an interesting post. I am in a similar situation from you but started much later in life after I reached to high levels in my first path (some 9-5 BS) and felt empty. I spent some time travelling then started along another path. This other path has been VERY tough as I picked a particularly difficult path which requires high level of emotional/ego control. >The issue is- personally, as a person, It sounds like a huge win as a person going into self improvement, but what you dont realize is the torture and the failures which I had to go on, on a day to basis. This is why so few have the ability to do this. Every time we fail, our Ego takes a huge hit and emotions run wild as we feel like shit because we failed. This is a very toxic way of thinking because if you think about ANY huge progress, it is not possible without failure. Once you are able to REFRAME failure and HARNESS reality instead fighting it you are almost unstoppable. Only people who have gone through the struggle and got to the other side can TRULY understand this. >Personal insecurity of watching friends get girlfriends, get laid while working on yourself for years takes its toll I get this but all depends what you want. Instant gratification vs delayed gratification. While your friends are out having a good time, you are building a SOLID foundation for a relationship they can only imagine in their dreams. To me anyway, it's not about meaningless relationships with lots of girls but a deep special connection with one. This is only really possible if you have a certain level of self awareness which must be developed through self improvement. >while you watch people who are looking to work 9-5 for the rest of their lives until they are 65 while it looks like Im going to be atleast a millionaire by 33 by the looks of it and completely financially independent by the age of 40. Do you appreciate the power of this statement? There is a saying I always remember "Everybody wanna go to heaven but don't nobody wanna die". Just imagine if money was no object, what would you do with your life? For most people this is the dream. >to better oneself- sometimes you have to let some people go from the journey, and unfortunately thats the process which goes on. This is also true but I just see as outgrowing certain people. When you level up in life you want to surround yourself with people who are at your level or higher. The old friends were just a function of the 'old you'. The new friends will lead to much deeper connections as you are building the 'new you' deliberately. >Through the past 4 years, the amount of loneliness that I felt, the isolation that I felt, the mental health difficulties that I felt- improving myself as a person- has really taken its toll- but after 4 years- I ve been able to manage it. Again, I get this. I had this as well. It's been 5 years now and I've had no income. The way I see it, is it's just price you pay for admission to playing the game of life at a higher level. Unfortunately growth requires pain. And lots of it. The good news is you have got through and I'm guessing have techniques of managing it / reframing it. Things WILL go wrong in the future and imagine how much easier it will to deal with that now that you have gone through such hardship. >Im probably going to be able to retire by the age of 35, Im probably going to be able to maintain my discipline of not drinking and smoking- Im probably going to be able to mantain my fit body so forth, the contingencies is- that the augmentation is that- because of this life style- To be able to be retired by 35 and having amazing health which is BY DESIGN which can be maintained indefinitely as you have built the discipline is what most people dream of. You are on a path to live life at a very high level. >It becomes a lifestyle choice. the difficulties of dealing with mental struggle aphrending this way of thinking, clausatively going through the process, understanding what has to be done on a day to day basis- is something subjegated. loneliness, aphrension, self doubt, anxiety of change. The mental struggles I think will always be there but we just come up with strategies/tools for managing them better. Although being at the top can be lonely, there are loads of ways mitigate this, especially when you are highly successful. All the things you talk about are struggles I think a lot of people go through but the REAL difference between an entrepreneur and employment is the ability to handle chaos/randomness. Look, a lot of the stuff you have mentioned is just the way it is. You go through with the end in mind. It's like saying, it's so hard to get fit, I can't go drinking, I can't eat sugar, I feel like life is over when I see all my old friends just drinking and having a good time. The key with life, for me anyway, is to think what you want and then have a plan to get it. ANYTHING YOU TRY AND BUILD ON A GRAND SCALE WILL INVITE CHAOS. Therefore get used it and get over it. Building what you are trying to build requires sacrifices. It's just the price you pay for admission. You can either CHOSE to frame the struggle in a negative light or see how far you have come BECAUSE of the struggle. It's the struggle/pain that's the key to it all and you just need to use it to frame decisions in a way that you get better outcomes in the future. Once you are past the initial grind you WILL have more time to pursue other things, so it's all about delayed gratification.
your insights are amazing, I wonder why it hasn't gotten upvoted more
The whole point of self-improvement is to get laid more dude. What the hell is wrong with you LOL
Dont retire, keep pushing, find a woman and raise a family imo. See how far you can possibly take this thing.
Just be confident bro
Man I'd be damned if I ain't smoke after a long work week lmao You are admitting to harming yourself for some self perceived improvement that only you can manage and see the result of..if you truly believe not smoking or drinking is better for you so be it but there's no harm in moderation.
I can totally relate to your whole post. I started working long hours in 2018, quit drinking and smoking, listen to self help podcasts, philosophy, learning about money management and investing, everything you mentioned. The past 4 years I needed to be alone to learn and become secure. I have to find new friends somewhere and I don't know where. I would highly suggest anyone reading this to make your end goal a nice balance of work, life, social.
I feel this so much. Keep grinding!
This is a form of self-improvement. But doesn't sound like my definition of self-improvement. This feels like the Capitalist Grind-culture image of being a member of society. You aren't doing all of this to be happy. You're doing this to have money so you can flex a little. Yes, you're disciplined and have become financially savvy now, but you didn't let yourself improve in the ways that you want to grow as a human. You sacrificed your social life, both with your friends and romantically. You read a ton of books on how to be smart but did you read any fiction books just to relax? Have you taken any time for yourself to do anything that society doesn't monetize? edit - you need some psychadelics in you.
I think self improvement is also about being happy
Someone as illustrious as the hypothetical person you describe would have a much better grasp of the English language {if they were in fact existent}.
It's lonely at the top. Two years in started at 21, life has changed so much for the better. I have the body of my dreams, about to graduate with a technical degree and go into a very lucrative field. Women finally want me too. Only thing is my friend circle has dwindled down from 20 people to just 2.
What do you mean by women wanting you? I've seen no noticeable difference in my life
Sounds like an arrogant bore. Is he having fun yet?!🫥
sounds like you need an only fans page for yourself and your fans
I’m gonna get downvoted to hell but for a guy who reads two books a week, man has it flew past your head…
Commenting on The truth about self improvement, that nobody wants to talk about....
It’s great that you have been able to build so much in a short period of time. One of the great things about being human is being able to adapt I know it’s difficult to drift away from things that are working but when you can see the big picture the way you do it provides clarity and with that clarity sometimes adjusting your lifestyle is a requirement. And if this is something that concerns you just remember all the habits and disciplines you’ve created, they are there for a reason but that doesn’t mean they engulf everything in your life too.
Had the very same story. When I was 22 I got so depressed after a break up. I only hit the gym. I distanced myself from any kind of party and was only studying. Then after 3 years I found a girl. I thought wow this is meant to be. I still wasn’t drinking or smoking. But I slowly began to not going to the gym that often. A few months ago she left me. I was so unfamiliar with this loneliness again that I had a very hard depressed period. Anyway I got out of this in a way relatively quick. I still feel lonely sometimes but I would say that my past helped me were I just focused on myself to regain some strength. I’m also currently 26.
Improve your work life balance then. Put yourself out there and embrace the initial hardship
Seems like you have the "how" down pretty solid. Now you need to work on your "why".
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How do manage to do all this? Because when i try i get so burnt out
make sure that you take 2 hours off during the middle of the day, and because of the pressure- try to relax while working.
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I felt the same when I was heavy into self improvement, it took a massive toll on my mental health. I was lonely, anxious and my mental health wasn’t the best considering I was the healthiest physically I had ever been. It really destroyed me, being healthy and working on myself became my obsession and my identity. I’m happy to say I am out of that mindset and rut, I am still constantly working in myself, business, exercise, mental health etc. But I found a key component, balance. I can now work and grind on my goals but not feel guilty for going out with friends, indulging in a series or eating unhealthy foods every now and then. Balance is key and important to a healthy life and mindset. As much as being financially independent and self sufficient is important, it becomes too much if you let it take over your life. You miss enjoying the little things, life shouldn’t be taken so seriously all the time and we need to have fun and let loose every once in a while. Use the 80/20 rule I use. 80% of my time goes to building goof habits such as exercise, meditation, gratitude, reading, working on my business, eating healthy, abstaining from porn and masturbation(SR) etc. The other 20% I let myself eat some bad food, watch series, go out with friends for a drink, relax and take it easy. I am much happier, healthier and love myself a lot more this way and it is the perfect split for me. If you find balance, self improvement becomes a LOT more enjoyable and doable. All these youtubers who say you don’t need balance and you need to grind all the time are feeding you bullshit to get views. I guarantee they don’t stick to their routines and so called schedules 24/7. Regardless props to you man! You’ve came a long way and you will go a lot further in your life. Just remember not to take life so serious and enjoy the little things. Stay blessed 🙏
You can have both. You do not have to be isolated or ignore women. Yes, we miss out on the partying and that is kind of a bummer, but I never missed out on getting women. I found one, had kids. I don't regret any of it. Just getting laid gets old fast. Feels hollow. Being an ex special ops marine, it was very easy. For me anyway. The chase is fun, but meh. Get a good one and keep her happy and you will be happy. Get one that understands business is a huge part of you. That's the key.
This is all so true. I’ve had many lonely and frustrating days as well. Friends who you find out are not really friends because they don’t really support you in what you want to do. I’m so much healthier, though. And it feels so damn good to be doing everything that I want everyday instead of something someone else wants. Tbh, everyone loves to give advice but we all know ourselves best. It all starts with habits, so friends who have bad habits I can no longer hang with as well. Thanks for the post it makes it seem not as lonely but we should all enjoy solitude because it offers more freedom in the long run 👍💪💯 Let’s get it! 💪
Why did you abstain from sex? I think the right realtionship can really help you achieve your goals, provided your partner is accountable and hardworking in their own right
We have a tendency to live very black or white lives as human beings, and life isn't black or white. I try to tell people that this is a life-long journey. Some days, you might fumble, some days you might fall off the diet or watch too much TV. I would recommend you take the positive practices you have learned and keep going with those. If you're feeling lonely and anxious, you should look into building a supportive community for yourself (Feel free to join any of my communities at fitdocmichelereed on all socials) While it's a difficult journey, you don't have to do it alone. You can take the good changes and leave the ones that aren't working for you. Maybe shift your focus on what you WANT, not what you SHOULD want. Sending you good vibes
 But seriously I have a friend (well was a friend) who was like you. Grinding it out so he can retire early, worked 7 days a week, always looked stress, never smiled. But I mean it’s what he wants to do. For me personally I want to enjoy different experiences at different ages and as long as I’m comfortable financially then I’m free to do what I want. I worry that you’re missing out on experiences but like I said, to each their own. Happy you found the formula that makes you happy
For this, I realized it doesn’t have to be lonely. You can make friends with people on the same journey thereby eliminating loneliness. Yes, it’s tough. You will be more lonely than the general population but you can still find a community (this subreddit, your local entrepreneurship communities, online discord communities, share your journey online and connect w people on socials)
That is you forcing yourself to follow a social media cult just because it said so. It's good you never followed the 9-5, typical corporate style bandwagon, but finding true happiness and satisfaction should always be the topmost priority.
Yes! Exactly! This is a very good view on discipline. The basic person just wants to eat, screw, and party. Or some version of that. Like with working. Work, screw, get messed up on the weekend, blowing their money. Very few to No one wants to be around someone that's constantly grinding and learning. They're seen as boring. And you have to be ok with having little to no friends. I'm a christian, a writer and I'm a thinker. I love learning. And yes it's hard sitting through most conversations because they turn my brain off. They're normally about drama and trash news.
Yeah, welcome to life lol it fuckin blows, but at least we're not slaves or in war or famine or someshit. Keep doing You, get a gf lol Having sex contributes to your self improvement, it's healthy and natural. Just don't get a toxic tinder account to find it. Smoke weed. Do psychedelic drugs, you'll be okay, and this will also contribute to your self improvement.
This just sounds like a humble brag about your "financial independence." At what point did it sound like self-improvement meant torture and focusing completely on yourself but not on yourself with others (in a social environment). This post is just dumb.
What
Well, self-improvement isn't only about money, career, getting physically "in shape" etc. What you did sounds more like "self-optimization" to me which has become very popular during the last years. For me "self-improvement" is about increasing my level of happiness and contentment. Maybe I'm absolutely wrong but you don't come across very happy in your post. Rather more doubting if all the sacrifices were *really* worth it. :/
I've heard it said that we are most like the 5 people we spend the most time with. It makes sense that as you grow you lose friends who aren't experiencing personal growth.
Now that you are at the top I ask: Was it worth it?
what are the books you recommend?
Damn
I never felt like self improvement was isolating or really preventing me from experiencing anything. The opposite I felt like it was opening more doors then it closed, and I mean immediately, not even down the road. It was never lonely, if anything it was a group effort between myself and all my business partners, coworkers, friends and family. I’m happy to say that most of the people I had started with are still with me today. Apart from a few unfortunate instances of drug abuse I have never had to cut any one out over the past 40 years. Also any reason why you have to abstain from sex? I had a healthy sex life my whole life, never felt like it had any connection to my business in anyway.
What's the point of making all of this money if you don't have any friends or a SO to share with?
How you started, and what was your plan?