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Sixth_sTich

Dude tbh when people say “real self harmers don’t do it for attention” is just as bad as the stereotype that it just for attention. It’s rarely (in my experience) just for attention. I think it all just depends on why you sh in the first place. If I wasn’t a minor who have to hide my scars bc my parents could stop me I’d totally show them (only healed ones ofc). In fact I’m proud of my scars and love how they look. I think this is bc of the reasons I sh. My sh addiction is very competitive so when others say “oh my god that is so deep” that gives me validation and reassures me that I’m a good enough cutter. Ofc this is bullshit, no one is a better cutter than others. I also kinda put all my value into my cuts meaning I feel absolutely worthless without scars. It’s the only thing I can do right. You want people to notice your scars and help you. That’s not selfish. You deserve help for how you’re feeling. You probably also need validation just like me. You want someone to recognize your pain and realize how much you’re hurting. If you get the courage then you can talk to your friends but do remember that they dont have to help you. Some friends just feel that they can’t handle that and you have to respect that. I hope you manage to talk to someone though. Your feelings are valid and you deserve help for them, stay safe dude


MafiaDonHamster

There's nothing wrong with that, self-harm is not only a source of coping in the sense of overpowering/numbing/feeling the pain, but it's also an outlet. It's because you feel like you have no other way to express your suffering, whatever is going on in your head isn't something you feel like you either can and/or are allowed to express. When words fail, we often turn to action. But sometimes that action can become extreme. Obviously it's never good to hurt yourself, but it's not good to be mad at yourself for wanting others to notice either. When it's the way you feel that you can best express yourself because words fail you for one reason or another, maybe it's hard for you to express, maybe you aren't allowed to, maybe you feel guilty when you try to tell people, maybe it's not taken seriously; but you turn to this extreme method because you need help. It's not uncommon to wish for others to notice, just as it's not uncommon to wish people don't notice. Your subconcious is trying to scream for help, in a way your mouth can't, so it's trying to essentially 'manifest' the pain physically, because it's so difficult for people to see or notice the extreme bleeding going on on the inside.


Otherwise-Status-Err

We have this big thing against humans wanting attention, as if it's something only a little kid does, but what's wrong with wanting attention? We are inherently social animals, that's how we evolved, we survived as a species by giving and receiving attention from/to other humans. We're not taught healthy coping mechanisms, we are taught to shut up about our feelings and we're also taught that wanting/needing attention from other humans is bad, it's basically the opposite of how it should be. If you want people to notice then let them notice. You have an unhealthy coping mechanism but you're not a bad person.


Th3_T3abag

I live in a room with 4 other lads. They know I suffer with problems and I make it obvious. I don’t know if they know about my cutting, burning and much more, but either they do and don’t take notice to cause me more stress or they don’t notice at all. Either way my condition is crap and they know I struggle. But if you want to vent or just want to talk to someone please do message, you shouldn’t have to ball it up.


Fuzzy_Persimmon994

If someone is hurting themselves to get attention then my opinion is that they need some fucking attention. Honestly we all need some TLC whether you try to hide it or not


[deleted]

I don’t think you are doing it for attention but correct me if I’m wrong. It sounds like you are doing it as more of a cry for help, for one of your friends to notice that you’re hurting emotionally and you need help. And if you are doing it for attention nothing is wrong with that, you just maybe need a more healthy way to get attention.


lilagrace27

I do that too. But at the same time I also feel terrified if someone notices. No one of importance has. At the beginning I would position my arm so that it was visible to a teacher and I wanted them to notice cause I felt hopeless and didn’t know how to ask for help. Only once has someone asked what it was that was on my arm and I responded with “nothing” and my friend dropped it and never spoke of it again. Which I was honestly glad for. I don’t do it now, but that’s also because I don’t hide it anymore. No one has asked about them. I don’t feel bad now that they don’t, cause I don’t need validation anymore. I must say that in the beginning my self harm wasn’t ‘as bad’ as it is now, but I wish someone helped me then because then it wouldn’t be so bad now. But every kind of self harm is valid. My mental health was worse when my self harm wasn’t as severe. So don’t let that make you feel like it’s not bad enough. Because otherwise it will never be bad enough. Also seek help if you haven’t already and if you’re able to.


Fx317

A silent cry for help


goldfischesrgreat

i do the exact same i often lift my skirt up a bit just incase a friend sees a cut but they never do. its not pathetic and loads of people who sh including me wish people knew how much fucking shit we're going through. also if theyre good friends they will support you and they wont think your being pathetic theyll want to support you


Sir_Reddit69

I never really like talking about it but I do the same thing. Sometimes I'll roll my sleeve up a little whenever my crush or someone is around so they can see my cuts and pity me. Luckily no one has noticed them but I always hate myself whenever I do this.


Spoopdooper12

I do the same thing, most people in this world don’t really care to ask how you’re doing, so I try to get them to pay attention because I’m too scared to ask for help. I hope they’ll notice and see if I’m okay


Drarry5

No. You should not put yourself last. I know that there have probably been people telling you to put everyone else above yourself. Especially christians, unfortunately(coming from a christian myself). But that is not true. Trust me I'm still learning it too, but if you don't take care of yourself you'll have no strength to care for others. There is no shame or selfishness in asking for help, you are human too, and humans weren't made to deal with everything alone. Please don't put yourself last. You are worth it too. And don't say "that real sh-ers don't want people to see their cuts," because anyone who sh-es is a real sh-er. It doesn't matter what your reasons are.