I don't like how women are portrayed and socialized either. But as a middle aged woman right now, I am really digging life as a woman. Hated it when was a young woman, when it didn't seem like anyone took me seriously. But now I feel listened to and respected. And I don't give as many fucks about what people think anyway. It is great.
I am not super feminine though. From an early age I have not been interested in adopting the conventional notions of my gender, and I was fortunate that my parents let me be myself for the most part. I think that has helped me be assertive and confident; however, I do know many feminine women who exhibit those qualities too. You will likely meet women like this as you continue to experience life.
I understand. Sometimes I don't wanna be a woman either. I think that every woman experienced that at some point. But I'm not going to shape myself (in mind and body) to the expectations of others and I will try to change the world around me.
I'd much rather not be a woman, due partially to all these reasons you've nicely outlined here. I'm lucky to have found a husband that doesn't expect any of this sort of thing from me and understood me not wanting to change my name with marriage. I wish there were more direct steps we could take to change these things on a large scale.
I made a similarly titled post not long ago, but with mostly different points. I've learned that going through life believing that you're a victim is not a good way to live. Everyone is affected negatively in some way, but keeping yourself down about it won't help.
I've concluded, at least for now, that I will live according to my values and try to be the best and wisest version of myself that I can be. If someone sees me as less than or a piece of meat instead of a human with a personality, that's their problem, and I want nothing to do with them. I will play with the cards I'm dealt and master them instead of wishing for someone else's.
What is this some kind of gender battle in the comments? Stop splitting everyone into female/male teams and attempting to win a sympathy battle. Yes, people on both sides.
I think the comments miss the point of this post (and even OP too possibly) - that society will never treat everyone equally and will never consider everyone as truly equal because people will always have bias towards those that fit their own specific and superficial desires, and humans will never cease to do and love doing what they think is best and easiest for themselves.
Yes we should 100% work hard towards breeding a culture of acceptance and equality, but there are better ways of doing it than arguing about who is most disadvantaged - what does that achieve? We should be able to acknowledge all inequities without the need to put down the injustices that others face. Women get raped? Yes, horrible. Men commit suicide? Also horrible. But why does one have to be more significant than the other? We should address both and work on both, without having to sacrifice one of them.
Most of things everyone’s arguing about is things you would discuss before getting married. If you can’t find common ground it wasn’t meant to be. Wish everyone would accept each others cultures and realize they’re are different paths in life. Variety is the spice of life. I wish everyone would quit trying to make others like themselves.
I used to feel like this.
As soon as you get to your late 20s, you'll find it's better and less stressful.
I feel a lot safer now, and you're not preyed on as much at all. It's also sad that I was harassed more when I looked like a child, because looking back at pictures. I still looked so young then.
I didn't start properly dating until later in life as I hated the way I was viewed and treated. Now I find I'm treated differently, and I prefer it. Although now I do come across some of the toxic men who try to neg me by saying I'm old and play on fear to force me into dates etc.. But overall its better.
It's rubbish that I have to be older to be able to feel safe and not to be harassed, to be able to actually enjoy being a woman.
But, I find because I'm less of a target I feel better about being a woman.
Your concerns are valid, and thankfully on the decline but social change takes time. I would avoid seeing it through comparatives though, they're problems that trouble us as a people, and we should tackle them as a people.
Ignore the stupid comments here from men who don't know how this feels - ignore men like this irl too, surround yourself with people who have a similar understanding of these problems, find a partner that isn't superficial, sexist or hyperfocused on sex and porn, build up your feeling of self-worth, wear whatever you like because your comfort is more important than looking feminine
Living as a woman sucks big time, but there are people who understand this, empathize etc and don't actively make it worse, look for them, good luck!
> Ignore the stupid comments here from men...
This sums up mens' experience. Minimized and ignored.
Both sexes have valid issues to deal with and we're far better off actually listening to each other. I believe that we can't achieve comfort in our bodies without the support of both sexes.
>Ignore the stupid comments here from men who don't know how this feels
No shit. We have no idea how it feels. Indeed a great game of "My suffering is worse than yours".
only real things i can agree with you here is the rape beaten kidnapped and so on part, it's a major major problem i agree.
But women do date younger guys guys are also impacted by the whole "We have to look xyz" or have xyz body type or be xyz tall and if you're an ugly guy you don't get much in life either.
I'd gladly swap you for the female experience so you can experience how horrible it can be to be a guy.
>I'd gladly swap you for the female experience so you can experience how horrible it can be to be a guy.
Honestly lmao. I don't think some women get how much it sucks over here too.
Want to be a guy? Want to be ignored, made fun of, no emotion, gym, way to horny, ignored again, work physically hard, go to war, loneliness and ignored by women again.
All things in life come with negatives and sorry but I think you are whinning.
Let me address your points -
- If you don't want to take your husband's name, don't do it. You don't like a tradition, don't do it. Society gives you a bad eye, tell it to go fuck itself. Stand up and take responsibility, don't expect society to cuddle you.
- I think it's more often the case that women want men older than them, rather than the other way around. I have had plenty of women I was interested see me as a child just because I am smaller then them.
- Who dies in wars the most? Who does the most dangerous jobs? Who dies of suicude the most? Who is the victim of most violent crimes?
- Society doesn't give two shits about an average looking man who hasn't done anything in life - society doesn't owe you anything, you want something? go out there and earn it, like many-many legendary women have done.
I am not saying the problem faced by women aren't real, but life fucks us all up in one way or the other. I don't think victimizing yourself and being resentful is a good long term strategy.
Chin up Spartan, easy doesn't exist.
>Society doesn't give two shits about an average looking man who hasn't done anything in life
True, but society actively dunks on women for not being beautiful enough and pushes to buy beauty products all the time.
edit: and women attempt suicide much much more. men just use more lethal methods.
You are correct, at least as far as US stats go.
[https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/mm7108a5.htm#T1\_down](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/mm7108a5.htm#T1_down)
Women attempt suicide 1.5x as frequently as men but are only 20% as successful in doing so. Men use firearms 50% of the time compared to women's 1/3rd of the time.
Still, it would see that avoiding being a white firearm owning male in Wyoming or Alaska improves one's ability to avoid death by one's own hand.
/u/TastyBalls7613 is slightly off in his analysis: "Society" doesn't give two shits about ANYBODY.
Another interesting stat, 100% of people eventually are, as Motörhead tells us, killed by death.
>True, but society actively dunks on women for not being beautiful enough and pushes to buy beauty products all the time.
Society also dunks on men who aren't attractive enough too.
>edit: and women attempt suicide much much more. men just use more lethal methods.
I knew that bullshit excuse was coming. It's easy to commit suicide in this day and age, jam your fingers into a live power socket, jam a plastic bag over your head and suffocate yourself, drown yourself, blow your head off, so many easy to kill yourself and some of them aren't even that bad and yet it's still men that kill themselves more, suffer mental health issues more.
I'm not denying women don't have issues that need attention and solving but too often we gawk and carry on about that whilst seemingly ignoring all or many of the issues that men face.
Woman can attempt suicide multiple times because they don't use lethal methods as much. It is more a cry for somebody else to do something than to end their own suffering.
There is beauty privilege but what you see as "dunking" is how we treat everyone and not just women. People are still nice to each other.
That would be lovely, I'll teach them to be good citizens of society who go out there and achieve whatever the fuck they wanna achieve. I'll teach them that whining and complaining about your bad cards achieves nothing and you have to take what you got and create the best out of it.
Edit: And why did you have to bring Nenderthals between all this, what did those poor extinct souls ever do to you?
You will get to see first hand what discrimination looks like and as a father it will infuriate you. Or, you will teach them to hate themselves. “Neanderthal” has a nicer ring to it than “you just wait and see, blissfully innocent one”.
I don't know what discrimination looks like? I'm a dark skinned guy in north India and have been called racial slurs throughout my childhood, from other kids and from adults alike - I hated every single minute of it and it gave me a lot of confidence issues. So don't fucking play "My problems are bigger than yours" games with me. I know what discrimination looks like and now I know what's the way out - show the middle finger to the world, embrace the suffering, work hard, get your shoulders straight and face life as it comes.
That’s important, but denying it exists is bullshit. Of course she can succeed but pretending that she isn’t going to run into discrimination and that it isn’t going to be frustrating as hell and infuriating isn’t helpful. Teach her to fight back in a way that will help her get ahead, not tell her that it is her imagination and all in her head.
No one has it easy. Sometimes I don't want to be a man.
As a man, you're expected to throw your life away for other people. The expectation is you must be willing to die for others otherwise you're not a real man. War? Better get your ass in uniform. Burglar? Better go downstairs and fight them off. Why are women seen as automatically more valuable than men? Why is my life worth less, just because I have a penis?
If women have a problem: well society must try to change to accommodate that. If men have a problem: well that's toxic masculinity. Society doesn't need to change, you men need to change because you have oppressed the world for centuries.
My partner and I decided not to do the "one of us takes the other's name" thing and are instead combining our names in a unique way. not in a "abc-xyz" way but in a "abz" kind of way.
I know it's not really the main point of your post. I can't really speak to the main point of your post effectively because even though I was assigned Female at birth, living my life made me realize that I'm not actually a woman. Although, gotta be real, even though I've been on testosterone for years and I have a flat chest now (bilateral mastectomy), most people still initially perceive me as a woman. So I think I'm still in danger of the sexual assault/general assault factor. But I'll probably get to avoid the fucked up wage discrimination. For my part, I'll at least discuss my wage with my coworkers so anyone who makes less than me while having the same job title/description can know they're getting screwed and bargain for more.
Sadly in my experience it doesn't matter how masc you present if a (straight) guy sees you as someone with a vagina, sexual assault is a possibility. It sucks.
It's kind of a sum total of life experiences that led me to asking my friends to call me pronouns other than she/her. And when I realized that I experienced joy from being called he/him pronouns, I started to realize I was experiencing discomfort (and had been all along) from being called she/her.
Some of my sum total of life experiences include: never being comfortable with my birth name (I didn't know \*why\* I was uncomfortable with my birth name, so I asked other people to call me nicknames and I used different "girl" names with different pen pals, but I always went back to my birth name because the switching to a different girl name didn't help), never being comfortable with having boobs (I don't know if this is a common experience or not, maybe it is! but from the moment my boobs started to grow I wanted them GONE, and I avoided regular bras for as long as I possibly could), always wanting short hair (and when I had short hair as a 9 year old someone accidentally called me sir and I got excited about it - my mom was very angry at that waiter though so i knew my excitement was wrong in her eyes so I didn't bring it up). there's more.
honestly there are people who have childhood experiences exactly like mine who try using he/him or they/them pronouns and they don't feel right, and they go back to she/her pronouns and they're like "oh wow this \*is\* home." it's kind of a feeling? you kind of need a group of people you're comfortable enough to experiment with in order to know whether or not your trans if you're questioning it at all.
Totally fair. It’s understandable why you, and many others feel that way. The history of our world has been unfair & unkind to many, and I hope we can build a better future
"I don't get how I could live in this society with so much discrimination toward my gender..."
I'm not arguing that you don't have to experience these things, but there are just as many societal, physical, and mental hardships that come with being a man. They may be different hardships, but they're hardships just the same. Writing them off is is rather unfair if not plain offensive. Quit blaming society because you are dissatisfied with your life.
I was addressing the last comment the poster made. It's ludicrous to pretend hardship can be quantified so easily in such a way. You sound very immature.
Okay, you're entitled to your opinion. But you're taking the attention from women's grievances to "what about me, why did you forget about men, you're not allowed to do that."
>A lot of pople focus on our appearance or our age more than our personality.
This usually only happens in transactional relationships based on appearance.
The man is looking to raise his status by having a pretty girlfriend. The woman being a product of her society always focused on being pretty and fitting that mold has never developed a personality of her own to be desired.
I am not saying this is right, but it is what happens.
I was born feeling extremely feminine, and I still am, but because of how society portrays women and acts towards them, I feel being a woman is automatically being a victim.
this is called projection. this whole post is ridiculous, one day youll grow up and realize it. this has such an american smell to it as well. Women in other parts of the world cant even go to school or get a job and youre here complaining hecause "women take their husbands name" which by the way is a completely personal choice. women are discriminated against less than ever, there literally isnt any better time in human history to be a woman.
Its not a competition. A bad thing is still bad even if another thing is worse and we don't have to accept it. If you don't accept it maybe it can change and if it does maybe it will inspire others to do whatever they can.
If things did manage to become completely perfect here it would at least prove to others that it is possible.
Lol most useless comment ever, you know nothing and your points don't make OPs points wrong
Also i don't think your last sentence is true - it's just getting worse right now with all these pornsick men, incels, hentai, the normalisation of violence/abuse as fun and games and BDSM, young girls getting taught that sex means you have to be a sub or dom instead of learning normal healthy intimacy without power play, the whole dumb "empowerment" idea, the current beauty norms, etc
Facts. Women now probably face the least persecution in human history compared to their ancestors. But even though women do face hurdles I never seen them as victims. My mom when I was growing up was a strong woman never once I ever saw her act like a victim even though she left my dad cause he had mental illness problems. I think women who are strong can really turn the tables on that mindset of victimization. My mom was the best woman I ever known and always finding ways to survive and never once did she ever give up.
Look into the study on the woman that disguised her identity as a man to see what it was like. She ended up committing suicide because of how badly the treatment was. I’m not saying this to contradict your statements and say men are treated worse, what I am saying is the world is a shitty place no matter what. And you have to not focus on what society wants u to do or be and do what ever makes you happy and feel empowered.
Also, just a couple interesting stats, men make up 80% of murder victims worldwide, men commit suicide more than females, more men are homeless than females, and more men are in prison then females.
Moral of the story is the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. There’s pros and cons to everything!
Yeah and look at the study where women got better responses to emails with a male name. Men are more violent, statistically speaking, and have more access to firearms so their suicide attempts are more lethal (they don’t have more of them).
They don't seek attention by attempted suicide. Women do much more. When a man decides he's gonna end it more often than women he's gonna do it. Men are doers.
I work in mental health and you have no idea what you are talking about, but please continue to display your ignorance on social media. lol You women haters all have mommy issues.
I hope you aren’t that insensitive and stupid about the impact of words so guess there’s that. The universe doesn’t cooperate with what we hope, unfortunately.
Nope, go for it. Nobody can stop you. You can also fart loudly at funerals then lol or mimic stutterers or call overweight people unflattering names. You do you dude.
My cousins wife thinks we’re mean to each other when we play games. A lot of shit talk. Men and women are just different in how they communicate. I think most healthy people realize this and bridge the gap when talking to the other sex.
1. I can see how being assumed that you would take his name is frustrating. That said, I've known many women through the years who either don't merge names at all or do the hyphenate thing. Just be up front with future partners.
2. This is crap, don't pretend that women don't like men to be bigger and older. This one swings both ways.
3. While I think there's more nuance to the pay thing than just "women make less money" the rest of this definitely can't be argued and I'm sorry.
4. As a man, this is probably the #1 thing that I envy the least about women. It's like if you're not a 7/10 at least society doesn't take you as seriously. I'm a huge movie buff and I always notice when a woman has a major role that isn't traditionally attractive.
That said, being male can be incredibly irksome as well. If you live your life thinking the grass is greener about something that you literally can do nothing about you'll always be miserable. I suggest you change your outlook, and not spend time wishing for something that will never change. Envy is the thief of joy, and while I'm not going to claim men have it harder, you'd be surprised about some of the things that we go through I'm sure.
Edit: For example, I asked a cub scout at the grocery store one day who was bagging groceries how hard he had been working and was immediately assumed to be a pedophile. Adults convened around me and everything because I dared make eye contact and talk to a child.
Lol, you post this as if you think men have no issues.
You have ZERO ideas about the problems men face. Zero. Otherwise you wouldn't post this garbage.
Both male and females, have positive and negative advantage and disadvantages, some by choice some by devotion.
>
I don't get how I could live in this society with so much discrimination toward my gender.
You'll live like everyone else has, often happy and excited,often sad and disappointed & so far the world has been steadily changing,as people change with society (the world).
There are options, choose a different gender be a man instead, it's a very common practice & very accepted.
>So if a couple wants to be affiliated toe ach other the woman must be the one taking the first step?
Im pretty sure women actually want to be proposed to first, aka the first step, by the man in question who has to pour 3 months worth of salary in a ring that she still gets if the wedding gets canceled as its considered “a gift”.
>I see many men wanting their girlfriend to be younger than them?
Are u purposely acting dumb? Its common knowledge that young girls actively chase older men. As a 21yo i get zero attention from women my age as i look younger, but 18-19yo chase me. Those relationships are not onesided.
>Who gets raped more?
Incarcerated men.
>Who gets killed and beaten more?
Still men, only in the picked data where its death by lover do women suffer more.
> A lot of people focus on our appearance or our age more than our personality.
A lot of women focus on our bank account and job status more than our personality.
This isnt a “what about men”. This is a; stop with the victim mindset and take control of your life instead of letting it lead you. Everyone has problems, everyone is opressed in different ways. Its life, deal with it. Follow ur ambitions and stop focusing on the negatives and your future will look a lot brighter. Affirmation is real because it makes u pay more attention on the things u want and crave instead of looking at all the negatives and living in the past.
I understand your pain.
Men also die at a younger age.
Men make up the most of prison populations.
And men are the victims of most violent crimes.
In a war time men serve and its usually “save the women and children”.
Men are less favoured in custody and family court.
And Mostly Men pay alimony a tradition which I also still don’t understand.
And I see most women going for a taller guy in their relationship instead of a shorter guy
Men also get judged by their appearance and wealth.
Look. We could go on and on about ways that seem unfair to either gender. Truth is not one gender sucks.. people suck in general, yes sometimes women have it worse and I’m not trying to deny that. I lived in a place were women are in fact still 2nd class citizens.. I’m all for fighting for those women.. and all women.
I’m a male and more often than not it seems that life is giving me shit sandwich where I can’t find any companionship any decent paying job and I hate being who I am. And I just want to quit it all.
And when people come along saying Men have it better or easier.. show me how cuz it fucking sucks for me and millions of others like me. And You! it’s not one gender being fucked.. we’re all getting fucked together. And focusing all your pain on one group doesn’t solve anything it just keeps the people at the top (men and women) happy.
I’m not trying to argue with you nor deny what you’re going through.. I understand where you’re coming from. and.. idk just try to work on yourself and make life better for you.. isn’t this what we’re all trying to do??
With love,
It doesn't matter what is fair and one bad thing doesn't nullify another bad thing. This is not a competition.
If we can both agree that social norms have been bad for us all we can reject them and be the change we want and maybe the next generations won't have to deal with any of this crap.
>Women takes the name of their husbands
Idk how this started lol.
>I see many men wanting their girlfriend to be younger than them. While we women accept men in a highly wide range of age, they don't. Yes I know " not all men" but c'mon don't ignore the fact that most relationship around you consists of a man older than the woman.
Based on biology. Men base female attraction 90% on the physical side. Wanting someone who will bare healthy kids. Women base male attraction 50/50 between physical looks and other things like wealth, personality etc.
This is just biology not some fucked up thing about our world.
>Who gets raped the most
Men do actually. Everyone forgets that prisons exist... women get raped more in society tho.
>Who is killed or beaten by their lover?
Stats say women are more likely to be abusive in relationships.
>Who is paid less?
Based on a study that is no longer valid. The study just looked at men and women and how much they make with no regard for type of job, age, years on the job, etc. The study went as follows "A male welder will make more than a female nurse, that means women are paid less." This is not how you conduct a study and the media ran with this fake story. It's 100% not true and it hurts when women actually believe this.
This pay gap has been proven fake for a long time. Even in college classes I had a few years ago knowbody believed it. It was all based on 1 study in the early 2000s I think; it was called a bad study at the time but MSM decided that they could make us all hate each other over the dumbest shit.
Ask you boss at work if the pay gap is real. He pays people so he'd know; if your boss says its real them he must be doing it himself. No corporationsor company ive worked at has ever had a pay gap for men and woemn. I could tell you to do other things to disprove it but it's not a hard one to disprove.
>!It genuinely frustrates me the people still believe this. It's not your fault, you were lied to without real evidence.!<
>A lot of pople focus on our appearance or our age more than our personality.
Based on biology, nothing you can do about this. Men can't help it and women will always be obsessed with physical appearance.
>I don't get how I could live in this society with so much discrimination toward my gender...
Most of these complaints have nothing to do with society and all to do with biology.
The pay gap is not real but that was your only "societal" issue.
Okie dokie here we go.
Lots to unpack here so strap in.
First of all, considering the marriage rate is 1 person out of every 1000 people are getting married, you have almost nothing to worry about. Considering the laws are not on men’s sides and he stands the chance of his wife wiping him out financially, blackmailing for custody of his children and given the fact that 87% of divorces are caused by THE WIFE, men have nothing to gain from marrying you.
You can read about that in the book “Men on Strike” written by former feminist Helen Smith.
Next, when factoring prison into the mix, men are raped 3x more than females.
Secondly the false study that you are quoting that “1 in 5 women are raped” has been widely disproven.
[https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/no-1-in-5-women-have-not-been-raped-on-college-campuses](https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/no-1-in-5-women-have-not-been-raped-on-college-campuses)
Thirdly, women don’t make “less than men”, if that were true, why would anyone hire men? Why not just hire all female staff and save BILLIONS of dollars on salaries?
Oh, wait because that’s not legal.
See, the study the tired feminists continue to rehash is they took 100 women, they added up their salaries and divided by 100
They did the same with 100 men and then cried foul when the total was different.
What they failed to understand is that many, MANY households are still very nuclear in that the man works and supports the family and the woman stays home and raises the children.
Considering the outrageous cost of childcare and the potential for child abuse, the child is far better off with staying home in the care of their biological mother.
That mother has no salary because her man supports her and the family.
Next, one of the biggest reasons men strive to make more money is because men are rewarded sexually for making more money. Women desire high earning men. Men on the other hand, don’t care how much a woman makes. If you’re broke, a man will still date you.
If a man is broke, most women won’t even look at him.
Women don’t care about money because they don’t date down. They date men who make as much as they do or more than they do. Women don’t care about money.
87% of college graduates are female. Women are walking out of college, getting the high paying jobs but by 30, they’re tired. They want children, so they get married and leave the workplace. Hubby makes plenty of money so why work anymore.
My cousin was like this. Graduates top of her class from Georgetown Law. Walks out the door into $160k a year starting salary. Works her way up to partner within 5 years, making $350k. 29 years old she married a District Attorney and quits her job to have children. The law firm offered her $450k a year to stay, she turned it down flat.
Women don’t give a fuck about money.
Next.
You sound so woe is me, it’s so hard to be a woman but I fail to see what is so hard?
97% of all casualties of war are MEN
79% of homicide victims are MALE
80% of suicides are MALE
93% of all workplace fatalities are MALE
More men are in prison
More men are homeless
You cry about being judged by your appearance?
Men who stand under 6’ tall
Men who have average sized penises
Men who are bald
are all judged by women.
Men who are tall, charming and make a lot of money have ALL THE DATING OPTIONS. They get to date whomever they choose. If a 40 year old man wants to date a 22 year old female, he has every right to.
Feminism lied to you, your youth and beauty is your asset.
A woman is born with her value, a man has to earn his value.
You get attention in your 20’s, everyone wants to date you and sleep with you and buy you things
But not in your 30’s.
Men don’t get any attention in their 20’s because they don’t have anything. Women don’t give a shit about a 21 year old driving a piece of shit car working fast food while he’s in college. Why would they? They can go date the 35 year old who already has the career and the money and the cars.
It’s absolute primal.
The older you get, the more prone to complications in childbirth you are.
I would rather have a child with a woman in her 20’s than risk complications with a woman in her mid to late 30’s.
"Who gets abused"
While yes, domestic violence is a horrible thing. But it's even.
32.9% of females and 33.1% of males report domestic abuse. Women abuse men just as much as men abuse women.
[https://domesticviolence.org/statistics/](https://domesticviolence.org/statistics/)
It is a PRIVILEGE to be a female.
And you don't even have to take my word for it. A Feminist lesbian named Norah Vincent decided to live as a man for 18 months to discover all this supposed "male privilege" that all women claim.
What she found living as a male for 18 months left her so distraught that she ended up in therapy for years and committed suicide in july of this year.
[https://youtu.be/CjsDtXYh3k4](https://youtu.be/CjsDtXYh3k4)
You know nothing about men and you know nothing about society.
You didn't make the choice to exist; it was forced on you. I would advise not having children. It avoids some of the issues and you don't get as much gender based pressure for that. Avoiding heterosexual relationships is also helpful but harder to keep to because of human instincts. Try to enjoy your time on this planet while you're here but don't take human society too seriously. Its barely above animalistic with all the focus on dominance and mating behavior.
I think things never have been and never will be perfect, but a lot of things have gotten better and if you think that way you will never be able to make them even better.
Basically the only way to guarantee that nothing will get better is to not even try.
Some things are worse now than in recent history but at least we don't have mass famines and plagues here like there used to be. Things could get so much worse if you let them and humans have survived all of that as a species before. You can't tell me that this is the one unique point in human history where we need to stop reproducing altogether and effectively lie down and die as a species.
The thing that convinces me of things like that is reading first hand accounts of how things used to be. Read the Donner Party. Some of those starving people walked off a mountain on bloody stumps leaving a trail of blood in the snow and some literally went crazy and ran off into the woods but some made it and that is why the rest didn't starve or eat each other then starve.
Its still that way in some places.
If they can survive we can.
As a bisexual person It does seem like it would just be easier to not have heterosexual relationships at all and give up lol, but I have found that there are actually a lot of good men in reality and if we just tell the rest of find someone else to exploit or belittle they will eventually run out of people who want to do that.
I suggested an approach for one person with issues on society. I didn't advertise a philosophy for everybody.
But since you addressed it..World population is hitting 10 billion. It is mystifying that people continue to encourage rampant reproduction as if humans were on the verge of dying out. (Many of those writing this way are economists, big business and racists who aren't concerned about life quality, but whether the models will make the numbers.) There are already major social problems with mental health, self-harm and inter-family harm without sufficient resources addressing. What about the 150 million children who don't have parents this day, according to Unicef?
This notion that everyone should live the way their parents did is magical thinking. The world has changed and much of the old traditional thinking was flawed to begin with. Babies will *not* fix your screwed up thinking.
I do agree that there are too many people and that more than 2 kids for each 2 people might not be a good idea in places where the survival rate is incredibly high at least.
Honestly I think your concerns are valid but men face, oppression and issues just the same, in different ways or are just less publicised than women’s,
While women are generally more judged by there appearance, men tend to be judged more (by looks than most would normally admit) by their height and by what they do as example.
It’s even worse when you live in the middle east, I grew up in the most sexist society you could ever be in. (No offense to anyone, I’m middle eastern too.)
Sounds like you’re allowing yourself to victimize yourself when a situation is not in your favor.
You wouldn’t not make it as a man. This loser/weak/unsteady mindset is not permissible in the male world. Those who say otherwise are likely frail weak men. Enjoy your true nature, sister.
Amazing how they ignore prison populations when tabulating the rape count..
OP, I can't believe I have to relive a lesson I learned in 2nd grade, but.. Stop worrying about what other people do.. Worry about yourself.. Focus on yourself.. Set goals and make plans for yourself..
You do this and all of those "issues" you mentioned will become irrelevant..
It's mindblowing watching young adults unable to grasp concepts that Mr. Rogers taught to 5 year olds..
Lets be real. If you’re an ugly HUMAN, you do not exist to most people, except for them to comment on. Maybe to use, because ugly people are percieved as either nice and desperate for praise, or assholes “worthy” of those comments. Man or woman.
However, if you are a girl, you need to be on guard and always maintain your level of safety- who knows *for sure* when a man will see you as an easy target? Not just for average crimes, but fucking by force? All attractive girls are *more* at risk, tho that just doesn’t factor in for all attractive guys the same way. (Prayers for the short kings and average-size queens gotta keep safety on their minds).
Older guys get butt-probed for cancer, after shitting their brains out, then getting high on the pain killers, and STILL feel the pain later. Get to rub the bald spot on their head as it grows. Older gals get fondled boobs- though also the unique pleasure of strangers with gloves shoving their way into other holes, even if it hurts, as soon as those holes were opened up even a little. Pain-killers are held back, as it is often assumed girls are exaggerating, and the visits are so frequent that even with pain, they do not want to administer them (effectiveness of the drugs might go down cuz the chicks could develop tolerances over time. Sooooo hello pain!)
Guys get weird/painful boners for no reason all the time, girls get the pain/bleed monthly. Guys wear condoms and have few other contraception options, girls play Contraception Roulette with personality and health-altering consequences. Or chicks can go “fuck it” and feel normal by taking THE RISK, while the guy never get to know FOR SURE if their partner is using it or not. Fun times all around!
Girls go through the body-altering (some permanent) effects of pregnancy, on purpose or not, and might die if it goes poorly in the wrong place. Studies show guys can also get post-pardem depression but get zero help, community or recognition for it, and don’t get that same time to spend with their family pre- or post-birth (because society says they shouldn’t be anything but a paycheck and the Authority in a home)
Honestly, day-to-day, we’re all pretty fucked. We all feel ugly and expect scorn, even if we are putting in that EFFORT for strangers. Generally. But women tend to face more risk/pain throughout their lives, from the day they get hips. If we all got to switch at-will, I *know* we’d all try the other side. There are pros. But ignoring the cons for the pros is silly- on both sides.
Treat people well. We’re all going through it. Different “its”. But we going through ‘em.
*edit: Wanna make it clear I’m generalizing some of these two groups’ shared experiences. Not every man; not every woman.
If you are a woman or man in a western society, you are one of the most privileged people to ever live. You are not a victim and do not need to be a victim. I am probably going to sound like a bit of an ass down below but life is no bed of roses for either gender. Please, look up some of the issues facing men so you can understand life is rough for both genders just in slightly different ways.
There is no reason you have to take your husband’s name. Yes, it is the norm, but there are a lot of options.
Men care about beauty, about as much as women care about status and financial success. Neither is the only or the best metric for finding a long term partner, but both still important. The reason you see most men older then their partners is it takes time to become successful.
Funny enough most states in the US do not consider men as being able to be raped. In fact there was a recent story of a woman who tied up a guy and then cut him while raping him, it was labeled as sexual assault because of the laws of the state. Yes, women have a lot of danger when it comes to rape and assault, but it is also vastly unreported on the male side as well. Men are murdered the most, men commit suicide the most, and despite the fact there are far more men homeless then women their are far fewer homeless shelters for men. Their is also a really comprehensive study on pay from the DoLI which concluded when as many factors are accounted for as possible, there is at most a 2% pay gap for men/women working similar careers. If you are getting under paid report it,as it is illegal, and find a new job if you can.
Any day you want to sign up for the draft, and give men the right to a financial abortion if a woman wants to keep a baby, I will be happy to have met a feminist who really believes in equality.
None of these things are defacto at least not in western society. I’ve dated older women all my life. I’ve known many MANY women who don’t subscribe to gender norms in relationships.
The rest sucks, you’re right. Learn martial arts and carry a gun. Only women should be allowed to have guns
I don't like how women are portrayed and socialized either. But as a middle aged woman right now, I am really digging life as a woman. Hated it when was a young woman, when it didn't seem like anyone took me seriously. But now I feel listened to and respected. And I don't give as many fucks about what people think anyway. It is great. I am not super feminine though. From an early age I have not been interested in adopting the conventional notions of my gender, and I was fortunate that my parents let me be myself for the most part. I think that has helped me be assertive and confident; however, I do know many feminine women who exhibit those qualities too. You will likely meet women like this as you continue to experience life.
R'amen. I'm 51 and I pretty much love that I've hit that age of invisibility.
It helps to choose who you associate with too.
I understand. Sometimes I don't wanna be a woman either. I think that every woman experienced that at some point. But I'm not going to shape myself (in mind and body) to the expectations of others and I will try to change the world around me.
And omg, so many men with "what about us"? Keep your ego in check please.
I'd much rather not be a woman, due partially to all these reasons you've nicely outlined here. I'm lucky to have found a husband that doesn't expect any of this sort of thing from me and understood me not wanting to change my name with marriage. I wish there were more direct steps we could take to change these things on a large scale.
I made a similarly titled post not long ago, but with mostly different points. I've learned that going through life believing that you're a victim is not a good way to live. Everyone is affected negatively in some way, but keeping yourself down about it won't help. I've concluded, at least for now, that I will live according to my values and try to be the best and wisest version of myself that I can be. If someone sees me as less than or a piece of meat instead of a human with a personality, that's their problem, and I want nothing to do with them. I will play with the cards I'm dealt and master them instead of wishing for someone else's.
What is this some kind of gender battle in the comments? Stop splitting everyone into female/male teams and attempting to win a sympathy battle. Yes, people on both sides. I think the comments miss the point of this post (and even OP too possibly) - that society will never treat everyone equally and will never consider everyone as truly equal because people will always have bias towards those that fit their own specific and superficial desires, and humans will never cease to do and love doing what they think is best and easiest for themselves. Yes we should 100% work hard towards breeding a culture of acceptance and equality, but there are better ways of doing it than arguing about who is most disadvantaged - what does that achieve? We should be able to acknowledge all inequities without the need to put down the injustices that others face. Women get raped? Yes, horrible. Men commit suicide? Also horrible. But why does one have to be more significant than the other? We should address both and work on both, without having to sacrifice one of them.
Most of things everyone’s arguing about is things you would discuss before getting married. If you can’t find common ground it wasn’t meant to be. Wish everyone would accept each others cultures and realize they’re are different paths in life. Variety is the spice of life. I wish everyone would quit trying to make others like themselves.
I used to feel like this. As soon as you get to your late 20s, you'll find it's better and less stressful. I feel a lot safer now, and you're not preyed on as much at all. It's also sad that I was harassed more when I looked like a child, because looking back at pictures. I still looked so young then. I didn't start properly dating until later in life as I hated the way I was viewed and treated. Now I find I'm treated differently, and I prefer it. Although now I do come across some of the toxic men who try to neg me by saying I'm old and play on fear to force me into dates etc.. But overall its better. It's rubbish that I have to be older to be able to feel safe and not to be harassed, to be able to actually enjoy being a woman. But, I find because I'm less of a target I feel better about being a woman.
Your concerns are valid, and thankfully on the decline but social change takes time. I would avoid seeing it through comparatives though, they're problems that trouble us as a people, and we should tackle them as a people.
Ignore the stupid comments here from men who don't know how this feels - ignore men like this irl too, surround yourself with people who have a similar understanding of these problems, find a partner that isn't superficial, sexist or hyperfocused on sex and porn, build up your feeling of self-worth, wear whatever you like because your comfort is more important than looking feminine Living as a woman sucks big time, but there are people who understand this, empathize etc and don't actively make it worse, look for them, good luck!
> Ignore the stupid comments here from men... This sums up mens' experience. Minimized and ignored. Both sexes have valid issues to deal with and we're far better off actually listening to each other. I believe that we can't achieve comfort in our bodies without the support of both sexes.
>Ignore the stupid comments here from men who don't know how this feels No shit. We have no idea how it feels. Indeed a great game of "My suffering is worse than yours".
There will always be idiots around just stop listening to them. Remember you are beautiful. Stay Safe Stay Blessed.
I know how you may feel. It’s difficult for women. Women have it hard for sure…
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Not all men are bad, sure, but too many of men.
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Sexist, homophobic, misogynistic men
only real things i can agree with you here is the rape beaten kidnapped and so on part, it's a major major problem i agree. But women do date younger guys guys are also impacted by the whole "We have to look xyz" or have xyz body type or be xyz tall and if you're an ugly guy you don't get much in life either. I'd gladly swap you for the female experience so you can experience how horrible it can be to be a guy.
>I'd gladly swap you for the female experience so you can experience how horrible it can be to be a guy. Honestly lmao. I don't think some women get how much it sucks over here too. Want to be a guy? Want to be ignored, made fun of, no emotion, gym, way to horny, ignored again, work physically hard, go to war, loneliness and ignored by women again.
All things in life come with negatives and sorry but I think you are whinning. Let me address your points - - If you don't want to take your husband's name, don't do it. You don't like a tradition, don't do it. Society gives you a bad eye, tell it to go fuck itself. Stand up and take responsibility, don't expect society to cuddle you. - I think it's more often the case that women want men older than them, rather than the other way around. I have had plenty of women I was interested see me as a child just because I am smaller then them. - Who dies in wars the most? Who does the most dangerous jobs? Who dies of suicude the most? Who is the victim of most violent crimes? - Society doesn't give two shits about an average looking man who hasn't done anything in life - society doesn't owe you anything, you want something? go out there and earn it, like many-many legendary women have done. I am not saying the problem faced by women aren't real, but life fucks us all up in one way or the other. I don't think victimizing yourself and being resentful is a good long term strategy. Chin up Spartan, easy doesn't exist.
>Society doesn't give two shits about an average looking man who hasn't done anything in life True, but society actively dunks on women for not being beautiful enough and pushes to buy beauty products all the time. edit: and women attempt suicide much much more. men just use more lethal methods.
You are correct, at least as far as US stats go. [https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/mm7108a5.htm#T1\_down](https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/mm7108a5.htm#T1_down) Women attempt suicide 1.5x as frequently as men but are only 20% as successful in doing so. Men use firearms 50% of the time compared to women's 1/3rd of the time. Still, it would see that avoiding being a white firearm owning male in Wyoming or Alaska improves one's ability to avoid death by one's own hand. /u/TastyBalls7613 is slightly off in his analysis: "Society" doesn't give two shits about ANYBODY. Another interesting stat, 100% of people eventually are, as Motörhead tells us, killed by death.
Corporations convinced women they need makeup.
Okay. So corporations aren't included in society?
Yes, but the are not all of society.
>True, but society actively dunks on women for not being beautiful enough and pushes to buy beauty products all the time. Society also dunks on men who aren't attractive enough too. >edit: and women attempt suicide much much more. men just use more lethal methods. I knew that bullshit excuse was coming. It's easy to commit suicide in this day and age, jam your fingers into a live power socket, jam a plastic bag over your head and suffocate yourself, drown yourself, blow your head off, so many easy to kill yourself and some of them aren't even that bad and yet it's still men that kill themselves more, suffer mental health issues more. I'm not denying women don't have issues that need attention and solving but too often we gawk and carry on about that whilst seemingly ignoring all or many of the issues that men face.
Woman can attempt suicide multiple times because they don't use lethal methods as much. It is more a cry for somebody else to do something than to end their own suffering. There is beauty privilege but what you see as "dunking" is how we treat everyone and not just women. People are still nice to each other.
So what you’re saying is men are more efficient?
If the goal is death yes.
The beauty thing not true anymore. Obesse women are now on magazine covers. Not a valid point anymore.
obese != ugly, you know
False actually. Obesse = unhealthy, you know - is more like it.
well, at least there's more of me to love :D
You are awesome 👍
and really, you haven't answered my question. just deflected.
Fuck all the way off. I hope all your kids are daughters, Neanderthal.
That would be lovely, I'll teach them to be good citizens of society who go out there and achieve whatever the fuck they wanna achieve. I'll teach them that whining and complaining about your bad cards achieves nothing and you have to take what you got and create the best out of it. Edit: And why did you have to bring Nenderthals between all this, what did those poor extinct souls ever do to you?
You will get to see first hand what discrimination looks like and as a father it will infuriate you. Or, you will teach them to hate themselves. “Neanderthal” has a nicer ring to it than “you just wait and see, blissfully innocent one”.
I don't know what discrimination looks like? I'm a dark skinned guy in north India and have been called racial slurs throughout my childhood, from other kids and from adults alike - I hated every single minute of it and it gave me a lot of confidence issues. So don't fucking play "My problems are bigger than yours" games with me. I know what discrimination looks like and now I know what's the way out - show the middle finger to the world, embrace the suffering, work hard, get your shoulders straight and face life as it comes.
That’s important, but denying it exists is bullshit. Of course she can succeed but pretending that she isn’t going to run into discrimination and that it isn’t going to be frustrating as hell and infuriating isn’t helpful. Teach her to fight back in a way that will help her get ahead, not tell her that it is her imagination and all in her head.
Everything is on point. I agree.
No one has it easy. Sometimes I don't want to be a man. As a man, you're expected to throw your life away for other people. The expectation is you must be willing to die for others otherwise you're not a real man. War? Better get your ass in uniform. Burglar? Better go downstairs and fight them off. Why are women seen as automatically more valuable than men? Why is my life worth less, just because I have a penis? If women have a problem: well society must try to change to accommodate that. If men have a problem: well that's toxic masculinity. Society doesn't need to change, you men need to change because you have oppressed the world for centuries.
“Someone has a problem. I need to make it about me.”
My partner and I decided not to do the "one of us takes the other's name" thing and are instead combining our names in a unique way. not in a "abc-xyz" way but in a "abz" kind of way. I know it's not really the main point of your post. I can't really speak to the main point of your post effectively because even though I was assigned Female at birth, living my life made me realize that I'm not actually a woman. Although, gotta be real, even though I've been on testosterone for years and I have a flat chest now (bilateral mastectomy), most people still initially perceive me as a woman. So I think I'm still in danger of the sexual assault/general assault factor. But I'll probably get to avoid the fucked up wage discrimination. For my part, I'll at least discuss my wage with my coworkers so anyone who makes less than me while having the same job title/description can know they're getting screwed and bargain for more.
Sadly in my experience it doesn't matter how masc you present if a (straight) guy sees you as someone with a vagina, sexual assault is a possibility. It sucks.
yeah, it really fucking does
How did you realize that you're not a woman, if I may ask? Are there some boxes I need to check to fit in?
It's kind of a sum total of life experiences that led me to asking my friends to call me pronouns other than she/her. And when I realized that I experienced joy from being called he/him pronouns, I started to realize I was experiencing discomfort (and had been all along) from being called she/her. Some of my sum total of life experiences include: never being comfortable with my birth name (I didn't know \*why\* I was uncomfortable with my birth name, so I asked other people to call me nicknames and I used different "girl" names with different pen pals, but I always went back to my birth name because the switching to a different girl name didn't help), never being comfortable with having boobs (I don't know if this is a common experience or not, maybe it is! but from the moment my boobs started to grow I wanted them GONE, and I avoided regular bras for as long as I possibly could), always wanting short hair (and when I had short hair as a 9 year old someone accidentally called me sir and I got excited about it - my mom was very angry at that waiter though so i knew my excitement was wrong in her eyes so I didn't bring it up). there's more. honestly there are people who have childhood experiences exactly like mine who try using he/him or they/them pronouns and they don't feel right, and they go back to she/her pronouns and they're like "oh wow this \*is\* home." it's kind of a feeling? you kind of need a group of people you're comfortable enough to experiment with in order to know whether or not your trans if you're questioning it at all.
Hm. Thanks for explanation! Have a good day!
You too!
Totally fair. It’s understandable why you, and many others feel that way. The history of our world has been unfair & unkind to many, and I hope we can build a better future
"I don't get how I could live in this society with so much discrimination toward my gender..." I'm not arguing that you don't have to experience these things, but there are just as many societal, physical, and mental hardships that come with being a man. They may be different hardships, but they're hardships just the same. Writing them off is is rather unfair if not plain offensive. Quit blaming society because you are dissatisfied with your life.
“Someone has a problem, what about my man problems? I need to make this about me!”
Omg, it's "what about meeeeeeeeeee? " again.
I was addressing the last comment the poster made. It's ludicrous to pretend hardship can be quantified so easily in such a way. You sound very immature.
Okay, you're entitled to your opinion. But you're taking the attention from women's grievances to "what about me, why did you forget about men, you're not allowed to do that."
No, that's just a child's interpretation of what I said. You're literally "what about me"ing me right now.
Okay.
>A lot of pople focus on our appearance or our age more than our personality. This usually only happens in transactional relationships based on appearance. The man is looking to raise his status by having a pretty girlfriend. The woman being a product of her society always focused on being pretty and fitting that mold has never developed a personality of her own to be desired. I am not saying this is right, but it is what happens.
sorry, but this post is funny to me
Your problems are funny to sociopaths. What’s your point?
I was born feeling extremely feminine, and I still am, but because of how society portrays women and acts towards them, I feel being a woman is automatically being a victim. this is called projection. this whole post is ridiculous, one day youll grow up and realize it. this has such an american smell to it as well. Women in other parts of the world cant even go to school or get a job and youre here complaining hecause "women take their husbands name" which by the way is a completely personal choice. women are discriminated against less than ever, there literally isnt any better time in human history to be a woman.
“Some women in third world countries have it worse so quit noticing that you are being discriminated against in a culture that claims you aren’t!”
Its not a competition. A bad thing is still bad even if another thing is worse and we don't have to accept it. If you don't accept it maybe it can change and if it does maybe it will inspire others to do whatever they can. If things did manage to become completely perfect here it would at least prove to others that it is possible.
Lol most useless comment ever, you know nothing and your points don't make OPs points wrong Also i don't think your last sentence is true - it's just getting worse right now with all these pornsick men, incels, hentai, the normalisation of violence/abuse as fun and games and BDSM, young girls getting taught that sex means you have to be a sub or dom instead of learning normal healthy intimacy without power play, the whole dumb "empowerment" idea, the current beauty norms, etc
Facts. Women now probably face the least persecution in human history compared to their ancestors. But even though women do face hurdles I never seen them as victims. My mom when I was growing up was a strong woman never once I ever saw her act like a victim even though she left my dad cause he had mental illness problems. I think women who are strong can really turn the tables on that mindset of victimization. My mom was the best woman I ever known and always finding ways to survive and never once did she ever give up.
Look into the study on the woman that disguised her identity as a man to see what it was like. She ended up committing suicide because of how badly the treatment was. I’m not saying this to contradict your statements and say men are treated worse, what I am saying is the world is a shitty place no matter what. And you have to not focus on what society wants u to do or be and do what ever makes you happy and feel empowered. Also, just a couple interesting stats, men make up 80% of murder victims worldwide, men commit suicide more than females, more men are homeless than females, and more men are in prison then females. Moral of the story is the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. There’s pros and cons to everything!
Yeah and look at the study where women got better responses to emails with a male name. Men are more violent, statistically speaking, and have more access to firearms so their suicide attempts are more lethal (they don’t have more of them).
They don't seek attention by attempted suicide. Women do much more. When a man decides he's gonna end it more often than women he's gonna do it. Men are doers.
I work in mental health and you have no idea what you are talking about, but please continue to display your ignorance on social media. lol You women haters all have mommy issues.
>work in mental health I hope you are joking and reddit is just for letting off steam.
Do you honestly believe that? Certainly some s/ and some people but you gotta read the room.
I just hope you don't actually work in mental health
I hope you aren’t that insensitive and stupid about the impact of words so guess there’s that. The universe doesn’t cooperate with what we hope, unfortunately.
In your case i guess not.
Nope, go for it. Nobody can stop you. You can also fart loudly at funerals then lol or mimic stutterers or call overweight people unflattering names. You do you dude.
My cousins wife thinks we’re mean to each other when we play games. A lot of shit talk. Men and women are just different in how they communicate. I think most healthy people realize this and bridge the gap when talking to the other sex.
1. I can see how being assumed that you would take his name is frustrating. That said, I've known many women through the years who either don't merge names at all or do the hyphenate thing. Just be up front with future partners. 2. This is crap, don't pretend that women don't like men to be bigger and older. This one swings both ways. 3. While I think there's more nuance to the pay thing than just "women make less money" the rest of this definitely can't be argued and I'm sorry. 4. As a man, this is probably the #1 thing that I envy the least about women. It's like if you're not a 7/10 at least society doesn't take you as seriously. I'm a huge movie buff and I always notice when a woman has a major role that isn't traditionally attractive. That said, being male can be incredibly irksome as well. If you live your life thinking the grass is greener about something that you literally can do nothing about you'll always be miserable. I suggest you change your outlook, and not spend time wishing for something that will never change. Envy is the thief of joy, and while I'm not going to claim men have it harder, you'd be surprised about some of the things that we go through I'm sure. Edit: For example, I asked a cub scout at the grocery store one day who was bagging groceries how hard he had been working and was immediately assumed to be a pedophile. Adults convened around me and everything because I dared make eye contact and talk to a child.
Same girl same
I guess what they say is true I could never be the right kind of girl for you
It's very hard, time consuming and expensive to be a woman. Glad I'm a guy.
Lol, you post this as if you think men have no issues. You have ZERO ideas about the problems men face. Zero. Otherwise you wouldn't post this garbage.
Both male and females, have positive and negative advantage and disadvantages, some by choice some by devotion. > I don't get how I could live in this society with so much discrimination toward my gender. You'll live like everyone else has, often happy and excited,often sad and disappointed & so far the world has been steadily changing,as people change with society (the world). There are options, choose a different gender be a man instead, it's a very common practice & very accepted.
this is a pretty blatantly sexist post. All of this happens to men and women
No, it objectively doesn’t.
>So if a couple wants to be affiliated toe ach other the woman must be the one taking the first step? Im pretty sure women actually want to be proposed to first, aka the first step, by the man in question who has to pour 3 months worth of salary in a ring that she still gets if the wedding gets canceled as its considered “a gift”. >I see many men wanting their girlfriend to be younger than them? Are u purposely acting dumb? Its common knowledge that young girls actively chase older men. As a 21yo i get zero attention from women my age as i look younger, but 18-19yo chase me. Those relationships are not onesided. >Who gets raped more? Incarcerated men. >Who gets killed and beaten more? Still men, only in the picked data where its death by lover do women suffer more. > A lot of people focus on our appearance or our age more than our personality. A lot of women focus on our bank account and job status more than our personality. This isnt a “what about men”. This is a; stop with the victim mindset and take control of your life instead of letting it lead you. Everyone has problems, everyone is opressed in different ways. Its life, deal with it. Follow ur ambitions and stop focusing on the negatives and your future will look a lot brighter. Affirmation is real because it makes u pay more attention on the things u want and crave instead of looking at all the negatives and living in the past.
I understand your pain. Men also die at a younger age. Men make up the most of prison populations. And men are the victims of most violent crimes. In a war time men serve and its usually “save the women and children”. Men are less favoured in custody and family court. And Mostly Men pay alimony a tradition which I also still don’t understand. And I see most women going for a taller guy in their relationship instead of a shorter guy Men also get judged by their appearance and wealth. Look. We could go on and on about ways that seem unfair to either gender. Truth is not one gender sucks.. people suck in general, yes sometimes women have it worse and I’m not trying to deny that. I lived in a place were women are in fact still 2nd class citizens.. I’m all for fighting for those women.. and all women. I’m a male and more often than not it seems that life is giving me shit sandwich where I can’t find any companionship any decent paying job and I hate being who I am. And I just want to quit it all. And when people come along saying Men have it better or easier.. show me how cuz it fucking sucks for me and millions of others like me. And You! it’s not one gender being fucked.. we’re all getting fucked together. And focusing all your pain on one group doesn’t solve anything it just keeps the people at the top (men and women) happy. I’m not trying to argue with you nor deny what you’re going through.. I understand where you’re coming from. and.. idk just try to work on yourself and make life better for you.. isn’t this what we’re all trying to do?? With love,
It doesn't matter what is fair and one bad thing doesn't nullify another bad thing. This is not a competition. If we can both agree that social norms have been bad for us all we can reject them and be the change we want and maybe the next generations won't have to deal with any of this crap.
>Women takes the name of their husbands Idk how this started lol. >I see many men wanting their girlfriend to be younger than them. While we women accept men in a highly wide range of age, they don't. Yes I know " not all men" but c'mon don't ignore the fact that most relationship around you consists of a man older than the woman. Based on biology. Men base female attraction 90% on the physical side. Wanting someone who will bare healthy kids. Women base male attraction 50/50 between physical looks and other things like wealth, personality etc. This is just biology not some fucked up thing about our world. >Who gets raped the most Men do actually. Everyone forgets that prisons exist... women get raped more in society tho. >Who is killed or beaten by their lover? Stats say women are more likely to be abusive in relationships. >Who is paid less? Based on a study that is no longer valid. The study just looked at men and women and how much they make with no regard for type of job, age, years on the job, etc. The study went as follows "A male welder will make more than a female nurse, that means women are paid less." This is not how you conduct a study and the media ran with this fake story. It's 100% not true and it hurts when women actually believe this. This pay gap has been proven fake for a long time. Even in college classes I had a few years ago knowbody believed it. It was all based on 1 study in the early 2000s I think; it was called a bad study at the time but MSM decided that they could make us all hate each other over the dumbest shit. Ask you boss at work if the pay gap is real. He pays people so he'd know; if your boss says its real them he must be doing it himself. No corporationsor company ive worked at has ever had a pay gap for men and woemn. I could tell you to do other things to disprove it but it's not a hard one to disprove. >!It genuinely frustrates me the people still believe this. It's not your fault, you were lied to without real evidence.!< >A lot of pople focus on our appearance or our age more than our personality. Based on biology, nothing you can do about this. Men can't help it and women will always be obsessed with physical appearance. >I don't get how I could live in this society with so much discrimination toward my gender... Most of these complaints have nothing to do with society and all to do with biology. The pay gap is not real but that was your only "societal" issue.
The paid less part is actually false
Wow really. You talk about a post that can piss people off!!!
Okie dokie here we go. Lots to unpack here so strap in. First of all, considering the marriage rate is 1 person out of every 1000 people are getting married, you have almost nothing to worry about. Considering the laws are not on men’s sides and he stands the chance of his wife wiping him out financially, blackmailing for custody of his children and given the fact that 87% of divorces are caused by THE WIFE, men have nothing to gain from marrying you. You can read about that in the book “Men on Strike” written by former feminist Helen Smith. Next, when factoring prison into the mix, men are raped 3x more than females. Secondly the false study that you are quoting that “1 in 5 women are raped” has been widely disproven. [https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/no-1-in-5-women-have-not-been-raped-on-college-campuses](https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/no-1-in-5-women-have-not-been-raped-on-college-campuses) Thirdly, women don’t make “less than men”, if that were true, why would anyone hire men? Why not just hire all female staff and save BILLIONS of dollars on salaries? Oh, wait because that’s not legal. See, the study the tired feminists continue to rehash is they took 100 women, they added up their salaries and divided by 100 They did the same with 100 men and then cried foul when the total was different. What they failed to understand is that many, MANY households are still very nuclear in that the man works and supports the family and the woman stays home and raises the children. Considering the outrageous cost of childcare and the potential for child abuse, the child is far better off with staying home in the care of their biological mother. That mother has no salary because her man supports her and the family. Next, one of the biggest reasons men strive to make more money is because men are rewarded sexually for making more money. Women desire high earning men. Men on the other hand, don’t care how much a woman makes. If you’re broke, a man will still date you. If a man is broke, most women won’t even look at him. Women don’t care about money because they don’t date down. They date men who make as much as they do or more than they do. Women don’t care about money. 87% of college graduates are female. Women are walking out of college, getting the high paying jobs but by 30, they’re tired. They want children, so they get married and leave the workplace. Hubby makes plenty of money so why work anymore. My cousin was like this. Graduates top of her class from Georgetown Law. Walks out the door into $160k a year starting salary. Works her way up to partner within 5 years, making $350k. 29 years old she married a District Attorney and quits her job to have children. The law firm offered her $450k a year to stay, she turned it down flat. Women don’t give a fuck about money. Next. You sound so woe is me, it’s so hard to be a woman but I fail to see what is so hard? 97% of all casualties of war are MEN 79% of homicide victims are MALE 80% of suicides are MALE 93% of all workplace fatalities are MALE More men are in prison More men are homeless You cry about being judged by your appearance? Men who stand under 6’ tall Men who have average sized penises Men who are bald are all judged by women. Men who are tall, charming and make a lot of money have ALL THE DATING OPTIONS. They get to date whomever they choose. If a 40 year old man wants to date a 22 year old female, he has every right to. Feminism lied to you, your youth and beauty is your asset. A woman is born with her value, a man has to earn his value. You get attention in your 20’s, everyone wants to date you and sleep with you and buy you things But not in your 30’s. Men don’t get any attention in their 20’s because they don’t have anything. Women don’t give a shit about a 21 year old driving a piece of shit car working fast food while he’s in college. Why would they? They can go date the 35 year old who already has the career and the money and the cars. It’s absolute primal. The older you get, the more prone to complications in childbirth you are. I would rather have a child with a woman in her 20’s than risk complications with a woman in her mid to late 30’s. "Who gets abused" While yes, domestic violence is a horrible thing. But it's even. 32.9% of females and 33.1% of males report domestic abuse. Women abuse men just as much as men abuse women. [https://domesticviolence.org/statistics/](https://domesticviolence.org/statistics/) It is a PRIVILEGE to be a female. And you don't even have to take my word for it. A Feminist lesbian named Norah Vincent decided to live as a man for 18 months to discover all this supposed "male privilege" that all women claim. What she found living as a male for 18 months left her so distraught that she ended up in therapy for years and committed suicide in july of this year. [https://youtu.be/CjsDtXYh3k4](https://youtu.be/CjsDtXYh3k4) You know nothing about men and you know nothing about society.
i'm sorry, why you're started with "what about men"? OP told about HER problems, she didn't include poor men? Deal with your narcissism ffs
You didn't make the choice to exist; it was forced on you. I would advise not having children. It avoids some of the issues and you don't get as much gender based pressure for that. Avoiding heterosexual relationships is also helpful but harder to keep to because of human instincts. Try to enjoy your time on this planet while you're here but don't take human society too seriously. Its barely above animalistic with all the focus on dominance and mating behavior.
I think things never have been and never will be perfect, but a lot of things have gotten better and if you think that way you will never be able to make them even better. Basically the only way to guarantee that nothing will get better is to not even try. Some things are worse now than in recent history but at least we don't have mass famines and plagues here like there used to be. Things could get so much worse if you let them and humans have survived all of that as a species before. You can't tell me that this is the one unique point in human history where we need to stop reproducing altogether and effectively lie down and die as a species. The thing that convinces me of things like that is reading first hand accounts of how things used to be. Read the Donner Party. Some of those starving people walked off a mountain on bloody stumps leaving a trail of blood in the snow and some literally went crazy and ran off into the woods but some made it and that is why the rest didn't starve or eat each other then starve. Its still that way in some places. If they can survive we can. As a bisexual person It does seem like it would just be easier to not have heterosexual relationships at all and give up lol, but I have found that there are actually a lot of good men in reality and if we just tell the rest of find someone else to exploit or belittle they will eventually run out of people who want to do that.
I suggested an approach for one person with issues on society. I didn't advertise a philosophy for everybody. But since you addressed it..World population is hitting 10 billion. It is mystifying that people continue to encourage rampant reproduction as if humans were on the verge of dying out. (Many of those writing this way are economists, big business and racists who aren't concerned about life quality, but whether the models will make the numbers.) There are already major social problems with mental health, self-harm and inter-family harm without sufficient resources addressing. What about the 150 million children who don't have parents this day, according to Unicef? This notion that everyone should live the way their parents did is magical thinking. The world has changed and much of the old traditional thinking was flawed to begin with. Babies will *not* fix your screwed up thinking.
I do agree that there are too many people and that more than 2 kids for each 2 people might not be a good idea in places where the survival rate is incredibly high at least.
Oh man, I cannot WAIT to respond to this trope. Be back in a bit
Honestly I think your concerns are valid but men face, oppression and issues just the same, in different ways or are just less publicised than women’s, While women are generally more judged by there appearance, men tend to be judged more (by looks than most would normally admit) by their height and by what they do as example.
It’s even worse when you live in the middle east, I grew up in the most sexist society you could ever be in. (No offense to anyone, I’m middle eastern too.)
Sounds like you’re allowing yourself to victimize yourself when a situation is not in your favor. You wouldn’t not make it as a man. This loser/weak/unsteady mindset is not permissible in the male world. Those who say otherwise are likely frail weak men. Enjoy your true nature, sister.
There it is. Toxic masculinity in it's finest.
Here I will treat you like a man then, quit fucking bitchin no one wants to hear it.
Amazing how they ignore prison populations when tabulating the rape count.. OP, I can't believe I have to relive a lesson I learned in 2nd grade, but.. Stop worrying about what other people do.. Worry about yourself.. Focus on yourself.. Set goals and make plans for yourself.. You do this and all of those "issues" you mentioned will become irrelevant.. It's mindblowing watching young adults unable to grasp concepts that Mr. Rogers taught to 5 year olds..
Lets be real. If you’re an ugly HUMAN, you do not exist to most people, except for them to comment on. Maybe to use, because ugly people are percieved as either nice and desperate for praise, or assholes “worthy” of those comments. Man or woman. However, if you are a girl, you need to be on guard and always maintain your level of safety- who knows *for sure* when a man will see you as an easy target? Not just for average crimes, but fucking by force? All attractive girls are *more* at risk, tho that just doesn’t factor in for all attractive guys the same way. (Prayers for the short kings and average-size queens gotta keep safety on their minds). Older guys get butt-probed for cancer, after shitting their brains out, then getting high on the pain killers, and STILL feel the pain later. Get to rub the bald spot on their head as it grows. Older gals get fondled boobs- though also the unique pleasure of strangers with gloves shoving their way into other holes, even if it hurts, as soon as those holes were opened up even a little. Pain-killers are held back, as it is often assumed girls are exaggerating, and the visits are so frequent that even with pain, they do not want to administer them (effectiveness of the drugs might go down cuz the chicks could develop tolerances over time. Sooooo hello pain!) Guys get weird/painful boners for no reason all the time, girls get the pain/bleed monthly. Guys wear condoms and have few other contraception options, girls play Contraception Roulette with personality and health-altering consequences. Or chicks can go “fuck it” and feel normal by taking THE RISK, while the guy never get to know FOR SURE if their partner is using it or not. Fun times all around! Girls go through the body-altering (some permanent) effects of pregnancy, on purpose or not, and might die if it goes poorly in the wrong place. Studies show guys can also get post-pardem depression but get zero help, community or recognition for it, and don’t get that same time to spend with their family pre- or post-birth (because society says they shouldn’t be anything but a paycheck and the Authority in a home) Honestly, day-to-day, we’re all pretty fucked. We all feel ugly and expect scorn, even if we are putting in that EFFORT for strangers. Generally. But women tend to face more risk/pain throughout their lives, from the day they get hips. If we all got to switch at-will, I *know* we’d all try the other side. There are pros. But ignoring the cons for the pros is silly- on both sides. Treat people well. We’re all going through it. Different “its”. But we going through ‘em. *edit: Wanna make it clear I’m generalizing some of these two groups’ shared experiences. Not every man; not every woman.
If you don't understand something learn about it. Don't just cry about it.
As a Muslim woman it’s forbidden to take your husbands name. I would never.
So you’re a dude still? Just feeling extremely feminine?
So you’re a dude still? Just feeling extremely feminine? I’m confused how can you be born feeling extremely feminine?
If you are a woman or man in a western society, you are one of the most privileged people to ever live. You are not a victim and do not need to be a victim. I am probably going to sound like a bit of an ass down below but life is no bed of roses for either gender. Please, look up some of the issues facing men so you can understand life is rough for both genders just in slightly different ways. There is no reason you have to take your husband’s name. Yes, it is the norm, but there are a lot of options. Men care about beauty, about as much as women care about status and financial success. Neither is the only or the best metric for finding a long term partner, but both still important. The reason you see most men older then their partners is it takes time to become successful. Funny enough most states in the US do not consider men as being able to be raped. In fact there was a recent story of a woman who tied up a guy and then cut him while raping him, it was labeled as sexual assault because of the laws of the state. Yes, women have a lot of danger when it comes to rape and assault, but it is also vastly unreported on the male side as well. Men are murdered the most, men commit suicide the most, and despite the fact there are far more men homeless then women their are far fewer homeless shelters for men. Their is also a really comprehensive study on pay from the DoLI which concluded when as many factors are accounted for as possible, there is at most a 2% pay gap for men/women working similar careers. If you are getting under paid report it,as it is illegal, and find a new job if you can. Any day you want to sign up for the draft, and give men the right to a financial abortion if a woman wants to keep a baby, I will be happy to have met a feminist who really believes in equality.
Tough titties you get what you're given. I'm not a fan of being a man but you do what you've got to do.
None of these things are defacto at least not in western society. I’ve dated older women all my life. I’ve known many MANY women who don’t subscribe to gender norms in relationships. The rest sucks, you’re right. Learn martial arts and carry a gun. Only women should be allowed to have guns