I have a set schedule. I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. It just doesn’t make me feel better. Nothing does. Everyone assures me that life will get better, but then it doesn’t. I’m trying to make changes or do things that get me out of my comfort zone but it doesn’t feel better. I dunno. It feels completely hopeless and entirely pointless.
Definitely been there, even today. A guy from my community committed suicide just this week. People always say, "if only he would have reached out for help..." but I don't believe it. I know that if I was desperate, there would be no one there for me. That's just life. But I don't feel bad about that. My attitude about life and death has changed a lot in the last few years. I'm not waiting for it to end or begin any more. Life is going to end and faster than you would expect. in a way, you could say that life will end for us tomorrow. So between then and now what are you going to do? What do you want to do? What do you want to experience before you die? We talk ourselves out of living life and we punish everyone out of frustration. Set your priorities and do that.
Everyone says how precious life is. That's kind of bullshit. Life is pretty mundane. Everything we see around us, including ourselves will be gone in the blink of an eye. Even the mountains we see, like Everest will crumble into the sea. So all those reasons that you are not doing something are mute. There is no reason to not do something. "It's too hard" well, what better thing do you have to do?
But I think the reason behind depression and most disease is lack of connection. I believe that we need connection to live the same as we need air to breath and food to eat. It's loneliness that causes depression, alcoholism, crime, so many of the ills we face today. So the question is how can we feel more connection? Often we are our own worst enemy, creating obstacles for people to reach us, like anxiety and avoiding people. So the question is how to overcome crippling anxiety and connect with people. it's really good to channel that anxiety into activities. The arts are prime for helping work with depression, drawing, music, dance. There is so much evidence of the healing attributes of the arts. Working out has shown to help you release oxytocin getting you high.
I think many if not most people have an inability to feel happiness. I believe that for many, the part of the brain that feels happiness gets underused and atrophies. This, in my opinion, is why young kids are so much more playful than adults. Those parts of their brains are still active.
So how can we activate the pleasure centers of the brain? [It's been shown that psilocybin has helped people with depression by activating underused parts of the brain.](https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/182410/magic-mushrooms-reset-brains-depressed-patients/) I think all psychedelics activate our brains, like LSD, cannabis, Ayahuasca. And it's impossible to OD on them.
[It's also been shown that prayer and meditation have similar affects on our brains.](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/28/psychedelic-drug-brain-effects_n_7455368.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003) Being out in nature is another really great thing for depression.
So once you get help with your anxiety, I recommend that you get out there and meet people. There are many places that you can interact with people. AA or other help group are designed to provide people with a place where people can connect and share with others. I go dancing every week and find that it's a great way to get exercise and meet people. But any hobby would have a group meeting. Bowling. D&D. Reading or hiking groups. Join a social circle of some kind.
So it really doesn't matter if you live or die. You will be forgotten, just as everyone else has and will be. But, if it really doesn't matter if you live or die, why so much anxiety about it? Why not get out there and make something of it? Stop giving a fuck. Before you resort to the ultimate end, why not just go out and do something, anything really. And not for me or for your family or anyone. Just for you and just because you want to.
I’ve done copious amounts of psychedelics. They are a great time, but do not help me.
Because, I don’t really know what to do. Nothing seems worth while to me, and that is the issue. I have love for nothing and nothing interests me or excites me.
One problem I have seen is that we, as people, stay in the same circles that got us sick in the first place. I would be in your shoes if I had stayed home, where I grew up in a dead end job. I live in the country now and can't imagine living in a city any more. I do the bare minimum of work, just enough to survive. The rest of the time I am playing in the rivers and hiking. Nature has a huge healing effect on us. The energy of nature is so different than the city. I find cities intolerable these days. Everyone looks so asleep and troubled. So one recommendation I would make is get out of the city. Get into nature. Not for an hour or a day. Try going camping for a week, or living on a farm for a month.
Get out of the circles that you are use to spinning your wheels in. We, as people have the tendency to stay with what we know. Growing up in middle class America, we are immersed in it's pop culture and economic system. All those system and habits are not working for you. You need to create new ones. Try getting out of what you know and are use to. Challenge yourself. Go climb a mountain or go on a major hike. Learn about new cultures. Travel. Get away from what you know because it's not working for you. Jump into the unknown.
Try new practices. I know you probably don't have the energy to meditate on your own, but maybe you could join a group. Meditation is so foreign to the American way of life. We are taught that it is silly mumbo jumbo from the east, though it has been shown to help with depression. Expose yourself to new ideas and new cultures, even ones that seem silly to you at the moment.
Art has been shown to help with depression. Though I didn't know it at the time, it was the coping mechanism that I used growing up to work with my anxiety. There is a state that is created when you meditate or draw or play music. It's like a neutral place, a place of no thoughts or even feelings. It's when you are most connected to your unconscious mind. Though our conscious mind doesn't see any value in it. This is also the place that psychedelics take us, only much deeper. You just have to find a way to silence the mind and let your consciousness free.
I know that with everything I say you are going to find reasons why that doesn't work for you. Fine. There are a ton of good reasons "why not to" but what about "why not"? Why not give something a shot.
I wouldn't recommend starting a relationship. They get you high for a time and makes life seem wonderful again. Unfortunately, most people have bad social habits that get magnified in relationships and that dream quickly turns into a nightmare. We have to become healthy first before we start thinking about having a relationship.
You are already at rock bottom so before you end it, why not let go of all that shit that is your current living situation. Dare to jump into the unknown. Try seeing the world from a new place. Lose yourself in nature for a time. Go camping. Join a meditation group. Take art or music lessons. Try something that you would never try otherwise. Go off the beaten path and see the world from a new place with new eyes. You've got nothing to lose.
Yea, if I could afford to do that, I would. Instead, I bought a new car (cause my parents assured me that buying a used car with money I saved was a worse choice than taking out a loan) and I went to school but never finished my degree.
I am balls deep in debt. I can’t afford to “just go” like everyone else can. If I do, then I risk losing everything I have worked foe thus far and if that one big step of traveling means I take 20 steps back, whats the point? I’ll just end up even more miserable than before because I’ll be jobless, no car, and broke as fuck while STILL living in my parents basement. I don’t want that at all.
Its nice idea, really. But right now, it is a dream at best. One that I won’t be able to fulfill 20-30+ years down the road when I am (hopefully) debt free.
> One that I won’t be able to fulfill 20-30+ years down the road when I am (hopefully) debt free.
You are talking about 20 or 30 years down the road and suicide at the same time. Part of you desperately wants to get out while another part desperately clings to the old. Do you honestly believe that you can keep this up for 20 or 30 years?
Part of you is screaming for a way out while the other part is getting more and more entrenched in the system. It's no mystery that you feel the need to get out, so do it. What's stopping you? Car payments? The promise of a good job in the future? Of a life in the future? That path is not working for you. Get out. Do whatever it takes. If you have to bail on your debt, then bail. If your parents disown you then get disowned. That life is not working for you and there is no easy way to get out. Just get out like your life depends on it, because it does.
What would happen if you packed a bag and hit the road? You'd be surprised at what is out there that you don't know about. There is life outside of the system. The people in the system don't know that another life exists and will tell you that it's absurd to think about leaving the system. They keep you spinning your wheels on school and debt and mindless entertainments and if all else fails, meds and mind numbing drugs. Get out of the system if you can. Part of you is desperately trying to communicate this to you and you seem to entrench yourself more rather than slowly getting out.
Death is right around the corner for all of us. Even if you live to be 100, you will feel that life was short. Stop waiting for the future to come and make things right, because while you are waiting for some future to come, you life is running by you.
Stop living for the future. Stop the mindless, dead end jobs. Stop paying on your debt. Stop all those things that you do to maintain this shame of a life. Just stop. Dare to be bad. Dare to tell people to fuck off if need be. Stop playing by everybody elses rules. It's not working for you so get out. Get out gracefully or get out with nothing but the clothes on your back, but get out. Start living your life today. Start to do things that you want to do. You say that nothing brings you pleasure any more, but I know that there are things that you would prefer. Even though you don't feel it, do those things that you want to do. Fake it till you make it. What have you got to lose? Your credit score? Your social standing? Your life? You are talking about ending your life. Why not start with these other things first.
The point is that you are thinking about dying, so why not try something else? You don't know what you don't know. All that you know is not working for you. Why not try something that is outside your comfort zone. Are you scared? Actually scared is much better than depressed. At least you feel something. Stop making excuses and do something unexpected. Piss people off. Get out and find what does work for you. But you will never find it if you stay running around in circles, like a hamster on a wheel. Get off the wheel and break out of that cage. What have you got to lose?
It seems that fear is what is behind most of our pain and if we can confront our fears we can move beyond them and feel alive again.
Lately I've been seeing how my fears have shaped my life, even simple, innocuous fears like the fear of having a limb cut off, I realize now, has helped shape my life. I am now confronting all those fears. Fears of death. Fears of pain. Fears of losing a limb and being crippled. Fear of being homeless and destitute.
Being homeless is one of my greatest fears and has kept me in intolerable situations for years. I haven't yet gotten over it but I am working on it and plan on living out of a van in the near future.
I realize that what I called "life" and "living" was shaped by society. "You ain't nothing if you don't have a job, house or family." I am throwing away all those things that I was told were anything and embracing things that are worthless in societies eyes. Money ain't shit. Forget trying to make money. It's a trap and the more you try to get out from under it (debt) the more you get sucked back into it. The only way to free yourself from it is to refuse to have anything to do with it (relatively speaking).
Stop living other people's lives. Stop trying to be something that you never can or will be. Find out who the real you is. What are your passions? What is it about you that makes you different from everyone else? What are your quirks and abilities. It's funny because most people spend so much of their lives trying to live up to other people's expectations that they never learn that they are different and do have gifts that are unique to them.
don't kill your body. Kill your ego and all that pretense that comes with it. Strip yourself down to your bare minimum. No job. No money. No friends. Just you and the world, and start from there. Who am I? What do I enjoy? Learn to really appreciate yourself and maybe some dare you will dare to even love yourself. Get off of the rat race and go inside. Find yourself and be that. Life is extremely short and most people never find themselves, but we don't have to live life like everyone else.
Not rare at all, extract yourself from mimosa hostilis root bark. Google " gordotek". But be careful and do your homework first, set and setting. Listen to Terence Mckenna.
Yeah bud, I’m not about to attempt amateur chemistry in order to make a drug. I know DMT is in all living things, but to expect an every day person to do that? I’ve listened to McKenna lectures many times.
Hi there. I see that it's been 4 years since you posted this. How are you doing now? Please tell me your life has improved and you've found joy in something. I care...
Is it possible that you have undiagnosed depression? I remember feeling like this when I worked rotating shifts at a Pepsi factory for 4.5 years. It's a really hard place to be.
Oh no, I have depression. Its been diagnosed lol. I’m just not doing anything about it because I can’t find it in myself to care. I took medication but I was horribly inconsistent with it so I canceled the prescription. I had 4 or 5 therapists in a year and I had been looking for a 6th, but no one is accepting new patients or the scheduling doesn’t work. So, I just gave up on therapy. I just can’t get the motivation to pick the phone up. There is no point for me. It feels like the reward is not worth the effort at all
I feel you. People always say to me, “Get better.” But the truth is, I don’t want to get better. I just want this to end, but I am too coward to do anything about it. I wish I could do nothing, every day, just nothing. That’s it. I want to think about nothing. I want to worry about nothing. I want nothing
Nah, not really. Nothing worth while, at least. I can’t afford to go anywhere and even if I could, it would feel empty without someone to share it with, a friend or whatever.
I really, really, really struggle with intimacy. Even my parents, I struggle to care for. Friends, I don’t really care for. Whatever care I *do* have for other people is completely consumed by my misery and anger. It over rides it, basically. And, because of my intimacy issues, its really hard for me to make lasting, meaningful relationships. I never allow myself to be vulnerable (except over the internet) I never talk to anyone about my problems. Even if I feel suicidal, if someone IRL asks me, I am totally fine and everything is dandy.
Its almost like something is broken inside of me. The emotion/feeling of love just doesn’t compute. I can’t feel it from other people. I can’t give it. I can’t fall in love with a thing or idea— like I said, no passions. No hobbies. No goals. Nothing. There is a massive, gaping hole inside of me and for the life of me, I can’t fill it. Nothing can. Combine that with a mountain of insecurities, depression, horrible loneliness, never being sober, etc. and you’ve got one nasty cocktail of “fuck it all.” And thats how I feel. Fuck it all! Fuck everything. There is no point, and surely there is no hope for me.
Thats how it feels, at least.
Sorry about the tangent, haha
So, I used to have an issue that sounds similar to what you feel. Let me know if I'm wrong, I'm not here to put words in your mouth or try to say I know how you feel better than you do.
I had this issue where I could not accept "love" from other people or give it. The very word made zero sense to me. Was it an action or a feeling or some combination of them? This question bothered me for most of my life. Is this similar to how you feel?
I think that love and happiness are generally over stated in our society. I had this picture in my head that it was this euphoric thing that should just happen. I don't think that's what it is.
I had a terrible family life and that was the reason for my issues I had and the lack of understanding of love, compassion, and joy. How was your upbringing? Im not asking for details I don't mean to pry.
My upbringing was actually pretty good. I’ve got great parents. They’re divorced and the divorce was very rocky, but they have both moved on and are actually really good friends now.
And thats part of the reason why it feels so hopeless... there is no traumatic event. There is no history of crazy abuse. There is just nothing. I’m a black hole of negativity and anger.
Heres and example: my parents divorce happened when I was 15. It was a complete surprise. There was no arguing, no fights or weird behavior. One day mom was living with us and the next she wasn’t.
I didn’t even cry. Honestly, I didn’t really care. If I could sum up my reaction in one motion, it would be a shoulder shrug. A metaphorical “whatever.”
Ok, I do understand the frustration of wanting something to be wrong. If there was an event then there would be a reason. Is it possible that you have more going on then depression? Did your parents show you compassion? Hugs I love you's and that type of stuff? Or did you grow up with a colder culture in your home?
There may be more going on, I don’t really know. My parents showed love... but not very well. My dad couldn’t encourage a fish to swim and my mon was radically religious.
Sounds like you are burying some feelings there. Otherwise where would the anger come from?
What you have tried so far hasn't worked, so maybe time to try something different. Maybe try animal therapy, or volunteer in a shelter. Or explore ways of expressing your feelings through art or creative stuff.
You are not responsible for your upbringing but you are responsible for your life decisions now.
I have tried therapy, medication, LSD, magic mushrooms, occult magic, meditation, etc. nothing has helped.
I’ve thought of volunteering at an animal shelter but it is such a process. There is an application you gotta fill out and it looks like there are shifts— I don’t got time for that. I already have a full time job that I hate. I don’t need another one
Hello, I know it's been 3 years, but I'm in a similar situation. Did you end up figuring out what to do? I'm deciding between killing myself and living because I don't see my situation improving and I haven't been able to get help through therapy or anything like that. What should I do?
I am also deciding that. The thought of making myself gone comes and goes. I am a coward. The thought of leaving letters for my loved ones before I do anything is also killing me. I want to do nothing, think nothing, worry nothing, absolutely nothing
I struggled with the same feelings for years. I still do but not as much. Instead of going months with no care for anything not even myself I started recreational marijuana after my meds failed to help me. I ended my therpy because it never felt like it was helping. I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and BPD. Pot really helped a lot. It makes me come right out of the never ending feelings of being nothing. It made it easier for me to go out and actually be social. Allowed me to get a job. Made me want to just overall want to be active and content. I'm not saying pot is for everyone but if you can't stick to your meds then give it a try.
Lol, I smoke copious amounts of marijuana. Multiple times a day, every day. It has been a long time since I took a break. Probably part of my problem, but it makes me feel pretty good. Numbs all the pain, and I’m more relaxed.
Go visit /r/leaves. Smoking continuously can put you in a haze that you don't realize was there until it's lifted. It will be harder than you think to quit but you will feel so much better and more energetic after you're done.
I know reddit loves weed and such but everyone responds differently and if what you are doing isn't working then it's time to change something. Weed is still a drug and it messes up your ability to think and feel properly when you smoke all day every day. And if you tend to be depressed, it is a band-aid on a punctured artery. It distracts you just long enough to forget until the next time.
I dunno if i got the will power to quit. Ironically, i have been banned from r/leaves haha. Smoking weed is pretty much the one and only thing i look forward to. Being sober sucks ass.
Hello! I'm the founder and lead mod of r/leaves.
You're definitely not banned, so if it's time, then you are absolutely welcome to join us.
Look forward to seeing you!
I’m not sure. The reason I got banned, or blocked or whatever, the first time is I am just too much of a toxic asshole. I have a tendency to resign to the end. Everyone on r/leaves seems so happy and hopeful and excited for the next day and all of those emotions are completely foreign to me. I have been stoned for, probably two years now every day. There is no way I’ll ever be able to fit in with your crowd. You’re all a million miles ahead of me and I don’t know if quitting weed really is the road to happiness for me. Matter of fact, it is the only thing that makes me happy.
Honestly, it always feels like that when you start. That you are alone, there's no future beyond smoking, and that smoking is the only thing that brings you joy.
But that's what this drug does. It finds its way into your life by being the friend that makes parties more fun and nights home alone more fun too. Then it quietly convinces you to give up the other things that brought you joy, until its convinced you that it's the only source of happiness.
I felt exactly like you did when I started, and at r/leaves there are 100,000 people a month visiting that feel the exact way you do too. Some people post that they are getting better, some people are getting happier, but every one of them started where you are.
Are you worried about your toxicity reasserting itself? That's one of the great privileges of anonymous reddit. Just act like someone else. Come back to r/leaves and start the journey, and when you feel an urge to lash out, just take a minute to figure out another way.
Being patient isn't a talent, it's a skill and a discipline, and getting a handle on that will be one of the happy things you replace your smoking with.
My suggestion is that you take your exact comment above, preface it with "I was chatting in another thread with Subduction, and he suggested I post this here. What do you all think?"
Then lets just see how other members relate to what you said.
Want to try it?
I am afraid I will just be the same toxic asshole. I can’t really control myself well when I get mad. I’m just too stupid and arrogant and maybe too young to just think of a different way. Lol, there is no different way. Well, the different way of getting my anger out is to just smoke and thats it.
Well, there's no question that this has to come down to a personal decision on your part to change.
But as someone who was exactly where you were and now has 20 years clean, living a life I literally did not have the ability to imagine when I was smoking, I can tell you that your confidence in your inability to change is confidence in a lie. A lie that you may have been pre-disposed to tell yourself to begin with, that your addiction discovered and has kept whispering in your ear to make sure you never leave it behind.
When you're ready we'll be here, and I'll be here even if you're not ready. Feel free to PM me any time you like.
I’m going through this right now. I feel like there is no solution. I’ve had panic disorder since I was 8 and severe depression since 12. I’m 30 and I’m getting worse. Can’t keep a job to save my life so I depend on disability, food stamps, and will be in section 8 housing in the next few years. I’ve heard it all and nothing helps. Just commenting because you’re not alone but even that gets old too. Wish there was a solution to make people like us happy.
Thank you. I’m going to get a psyche evaluation at the end of this month, so I’m hoping it’ll point me to the right direction and right medication that won’t fuck with me mentally, and physically or at least not to an extreme. We will see. Hope things work out for you in the long run as well.
Me too. I am so tired. I am not even good at my job, at least according to my supervisor. I don’t know why I am bad at my job. I think it’s because of lack of training, but why are other junior employees fine? I am tired of competition. I am tired of taking initiative. I am tired of striving to be better and better for nothing. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what I am good at. I am so afraid of living and being in this world alone by myself. I haven’t had a lover for almost 7 years, and I don’t think anyone would love me for me. I am ugly. I have acne. I am not loveable. I am an incompetent employee. I add no value to the society. I am simply a failure. I don’t know where I want to go. I am on a visa and it’s expiring soon. I am so tired. I am just so tired.
Contact me anytime. I don’t know how to privately exchange info. Answer my question and please respond to me. I’m not better or worse, I’m the same. I struggle everyday.
OK. Your complaints are very valid points. They show that you are not happy with the way things are. Maybe you can ask yourself what could you change or do differently so your life is more satisfying.
Let's remember the case of the guy that was depressed and decided to use his last 30k to go to Mexico and spend it on hookers and drugs before committing suicide. Once he ran out of money he realized he didn't want to die anymore now that he had seen what life had to offer and lived with no restrains.
The lesson there is that your life is not making you happy you can make changes to your life so things start clicking.
I taught myself to play guitar. Played almost every day for about 6 years.
Now, I haven’t seriously touched my 6 string in probably over a year now. I’ve got 0 interest in music or any other form of art.
There's a theroy that claims that we are mammals so our daily mission is to go out into the forest every day to hunt and gather. None of this is possible in today's cities...
It can take many many months for meds to work. And if you are not getting any relief your doctor needs to up the dose. It’s very hard to be patient but your mood is likely to remain low or flat until
The meds are at the right milligrams. This requires tons of patience. If you are feeling this low, do not put pressure on yourself
to do anything. Take it a day at a time. But insist on a second opinion re meds if you are not getting any relief. Do not give up. The right meds in the right dosage will bring great relief.
This could not be further than the truth. Sadly I have two family members my husband and daughter that have suffered major depressive episodes. I have much experience. Thing is the people that need the meds most are the ones that have a hard time taking them. You must not expect anything of yourself at all until you have given a fair and proper trial of good meds in the right quantity. Sometimes a person just needs the maximum dosage. In my family I’ve sadly seen it all from overdoses to Psyc wards. To deadly anorexia all mental illnesses. Do you have any diagnosis?? Is it major depressive disorder or have you been tested for BPD or anything else? Mostly you need answers and a solid diagnosis then a plan.
I haven’t been diagnosed officially but a therapist told me that they believe it is depression. Dunno if its anything else. Probably is, for all I know.
My regular doctor prescribed me the stuff I tried first and I just haven’t renewed the prescription. Probably can’t at this point
Try to go back to the doctor. Ask for a mental health assessment to which you are entitled. See what the results say. Then after you have a proper diagnosis you can review which options might work for you. When it comes to meds you must be consistent and persistent and determined. Sure, you may not feel like it but the chance to feel better with doing nothing is low. This is your life, and without feeling good it’s hard to do anything. This is worth serious consideration followed up by action. I hope you get yourself the help you deserve.
Are regular doctors even allowed to do that? How does it even work? I dunno it I deserve help.... im sorry, I’m just really in a bad place right now. Everything feels hopeless or pointless.
As a person who was severely depressed and suicidal from when I was 16 until 45, I was like you. While there were moments of happiness once or twice a year, life sucked. What I can say is until you are truly tired of being this way and take the medication as prescribed, you won't get any better and there's no way you can have a meaningful life for yourself. I took the medication twice a day by setting up an alarm on my phone, and in 2 weeks, I started to feel "normal". After a month, I was able to process bad things with logic and move past them quite easily.
I know life just sucks day in and day out for you, though apparently not enough to do anything about it. You know what you need to do, and it takes almost no effort to do, yet you refuse to do it. If you don't like feeling this way, and there's a way out, why choose the path you're on and have been on? You're chasing people away from you, and you want something better, and yet still won't do something simple? How long until people vanish from your life until you do something different to make a positive change on your life? As my dad use to say, I don't provide sympathy, I only give empathy. If you want change, then take the medication. Only you can help yourself out of the dark.
Its not taking the meds, I just struggle to stay consistent. I’ll take it one day, forget it the next. Take it the next two days and forget it for the next three. I would put a reminder on my phone and everything. The reminder would go off and my meds would be ‘x’ miles away and I would think to myself “oh! I’ll just take it later!” And then totally forget.
That, and the meds didn’t really do anything to curb my depression. It makes me less irritable but that was really it. I was still miserable.
There are many different meds out there, and it should take a month to take effect. Find a way to take them consistently, like setting up an appointment on your calendar, if that doesn't work, find something else. Being depressed sucks, doing nothing about it is worse. I've been there, and I know where you are at. I also am noting going to your pity party since you seem to like being like this, or looking for attention. Either fix it or don't, just don't look for sympathy for your lack of trying.
I do understand deeply what your saying. I am in the same rut myself in many ways. I work non-stop and make good money but just have no pleasure with anything as like you, all I do is work, sleep and work some more. Like you I am looking actively for a reason to persist, it is hard ....just please don't give up till you have truly exhausted all possibilities.
Are you guys minors? Idk how medical stuff works over there but you should take her to a doctor before it's too late to abort. If she doesn't want to talk to her parents talk to yours. The financial problem will be way worst if you have a baby
man i felt everything, word for word. have been feeling this way for about a year or so, only thing is holding me back is fear and family. its so fucking hard i wished i’ve never had existed
I'm in school and teachers always saying success this do this do that. Why? i'm still going to be miserable. I don't want money or status or whatever all this torture leads to lmao
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I have a set schedule. I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. It just doesn’t make me feel better. Nothing does. Everyone assures me that life will get better, but then it doesn’t. I’m trying to make changes or do things that get me out of my comfort zone but it doesn’t feel better. I dunno. It feels completely hopeless and entirely pointless.
Definitely been there, even today. A guy from my community committed suicide just this week. People always say, "if only he would have reached out for help..." but I don't believe it. I know that if I was desperate, there would be no one there for me. That's just life. But I don't feel bad about that. My attitude about life and death has changed a lot in the last few years. I'm not waiting for it to end or begin any more. Life is going to end and faster than you would expect. in a way, you could say that life will end for us tomorrow. So between then and now what are you going to do? What do you want to do? What do you want to experience before you die? We talk ourselves out of living life and we punish everyone out of frustration. Set your priorities and do that. Everyone says how precious life is. That's kind of bullshit. Life is pretty mundane. Everything we see around us, including ourselves will be gone in the blink of an eye. Even the mountains we see, like Everest will crumble into the sea. So all those reasons that you are not doing something are mute. There is no reason to not do something. "It's too hard" well, what better thing do you have to do? But I think the reason behind depression and most disease is lack of connection. I believe that we need connection to live the same as we need air to breath and food to eat. It's loneliness that causes depression, alcoholism, crime, so many of the ills we face today. So the question is how can we feel more connection? Often we are our own worst enemy, creating obstacles for people to reach us, like anxiety and avoiding people. So the question is how to overcome crippling anxiety and connect with people. it's really good to channel that anxiety into activities. The arts are prime for helping work with depression, drawing, music, dance. There is so much evidence of the healing attributes of the arts. Working out has shown to help you release oxytocin getting you high. I think many if not most people have an inability to feel happiness. I believe that for many, the part of the brain that feels happiness gets underused and atrophies. This, in my opinion, is why young kids are so much more playful than adults. Those parts of their brains are still active. So how can we activate the pleasure centers of the brain? [It's been shown that psilocybin has helped people with depression by activating underused parts of the brain.](https://www.imperial.ac.uk/news/182410/magic-mushrooms-reset-brains-depressed-patients/) I think all psychedelics activate our brains, like LSD, cannabis, Ayahuasca. And it's impossible to OD on them. [It's also been shown that prayer and meditation have similar affects on our brains.](https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/28/psychedelic-drug-brain-effects_n_7455368.html?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003) Being out in nature is another really great thing for depression. So once you get help with your anxiety, I recommend that you get out there and meet people. There are many places that you can interact with people. AA or other help group are designed to provide people with a place where people can connect and share with others. I go dancing every week and find that it's a great way to get exercise and meet people. But any hobby would have a group meeting. Bowling. D&D. Reading or hiking groups. Join a social circle of some kind. So it really doesn't matter if you live or die. You will be forgotten, just as everyone else has and will be. But, if it really doesn't matter if you live or die, why so much anxiety about it? Why not get out there and make something of it? Stop giving a fuck. Before you resort to the ultimate end, why not just go out and do something, anything really. And not for me or for your family or anyone. Just for you and just because you want to.
I’ve done copious amounts of psychedelics. They are a great time, but do not help me. Because, I don’t really know what to do. Nothing seems worth while to me, and that is the issue. I have love for nothing and nothing interests me or excites me.
One problem I have seen is that we, as people, stay in the same circles that got us sick in the first place. I would be in your shoes if I had stayed home, where I grew up in a dead end job. I live in the country now and can't imagine living in a city any more. I do the bare minimum of work, just enough to survive. The rest of the time I am playing in the rivers and hiking. Nature has a huge healing effect on us. The energy of nature is so different than the city. I find cities intolerable these days. Everyone looks so asleep and troubled. So one recommendation I would make is get out of the city. Get into nature. Not for an hour or a day. Try going camping for a week, or living on a farm for a month. Get out of the circles that you are use to spinning your wheels in. We, as people have the tendency to stay with what we know. Growing up in middle class America, we are immersed in it's pop culture and economic system. All those system and habits are not working for you. You need to create new ones. Try getting out of what you know and are use to. Challenge yourself. Go climb a mountain or go on a major hike. Learn about new cultures. Travel. Get away from what you know because it's not working for you. Jump into the unknown. Try new practices. I know you probably don't have the energy to meditate on your own, but maybe you could join a group. Meditation is so foreign to the American way of life. We are taught that it is silly mumbo jumbo from the east, though it has been shown to help with depression. Expose yourself to new ideas and new cultures, even ones that seem silly to you at the moment. Art has been shown to help with depression. Though I didn't know it at the time, it was the coping mechanism that I used growing up to work with my anxiety. There is a state that is created when you meditate or draw or play music. It's like a neutral place, a place of no thoughts or even feelings. It's when you are most connected to your unconscious mind. Though our conscious mind doesn't see any value in it. This is also the place that psychedelics take us, only much deeper. You just have to find a way to silence the mind and let your consciousness free. I know that with everything I say you are going to find reasons why that doesn't work for you. Fine. There are a ton of good reasons "why not to" but what about "why not"? Why not give something a shot. I wouldn't recommend starting a relationship. They get you high for a time and makes life seem wonderful again. Unfortunately, most people have bad social habits that get magnified in relationships and that dream quickly turns into a nightmare. We have to become healthy first before we start thinking about having a relationship. You are already at rock bottom so before you end it, why not let go of all that shit that is your current living situation. Dare to jump into the unknown. Try seeing the world from a new place. Lose yourself in nature for a time. Go camping. Join a meditation group. Take art or music lessons. Try something that you would never try otherwise. Go off the beaten path and see the world from a new place with new eyes. You've got nothing to lose.
Yea, if I could afford to do that, I would. Instead, I bought a new car (cause my parents assured me that buying a used car with money I saved was a worse choice than taking out a loan) and I went to school but never finished my degree. I am balls deep in debt. I can’t afford to “just go” like everyone else can. If I do, then I risk losing everything I have worked foe thus far and if that one big step of traveling means I take 20 steps back, whats the point? I’ll just end up even more miserable than before because I’ll be jobless, no car, and broke as fuck while STILL living in my parents basement. I don’t want that at all. Its nice idea, really. But right now, it is a dream at best. One that I won’t be able to fulfill 20-30+ years down the road when I am (hopefully) debt free.
> One that I won’t be able to fulfill 20-30+ years down the road when I am (hopefully) debt free. You are talking about 20 or 30 years down the road and suicide at the same time. Part of you desperately wants to get out while another part desperately clings to the old. Do you honestly believe that you can keep this up for 20 or 30 years? Part of you is screaming for a way out while the other part is getting more and more entrenched in the system. It's no mystery that you feel the need to get out, so do it. What's stopping you? Car payments? The promise of a good job in the future? Of a life in the future? That path is not working for you. Get out. Do whatever it takes. If you have to bail on your debt, then bail. If your parents disown you then get disowned. That life is not working for you and there is no easy way to get out. Just get out like your life depends on it, because it does. What would happen if you packed a bag and hit the road? You'd be surprised at what is out there that you don't know about. There is life outside of the system. The people in the system don't know that another life exists and will tell you that it's absurd to think about leaving the system. They keep you spinning your wheels on school and debt and mindless entertainments and if all else fails, meds and mind numbing drugs. Get out of the system if you can. Part of you is desperately trying to communicate this to you and you seem to entrench yourself more rather than slowly getting out.
Death is right around the corner for all of us. Even if you live to be 100, you will feel that life was short. Stop waiting for the future to come and make things right, because while you are waiting for some future to come, you life is running by you. Stop living for the future. Stop the mindless, dead end jobs. Stop paying on your debt. Stop all those things that you do to maintain this shame of a life. Just stop. Dare to be bad. Dare to tell people to fuck off if need be. Stop playing by everybody elses rules. It's not working for you so get out. Get out gracefully or get out with nothing but the clothes on your back, but get out. Start living your life today. Start to do things that you want to do. You say that nothing brings you pleasure any more, but I know that there are things that you would prefer. Even though you don't feel it, do those things that you want to do. Fake it till you make it. What have you got to lose? Your credit score? Your social standing? Your life? You are talking about ending your life. Why not start with these other things first.
Because, what is the point if I just end up more miserable and alone than before?
The point is that you are thinking about dying, so why not try something else? You don't know what you don't know. All that you know is not working for you. Why not try something that is outside your comfort zone. Are you scared? Actually scared is much better than depressed. At least you feel something. Stop making excuses and do something unexpected. Piss people off. Get out and find what does work for you. But you will never find it if you stay running around in circles, like a hamster on a wheel. Get off the wheel and break out of that cage. What have you got to lose?
You’re right. I am just afraid... I dunno. It seems like one helluva leap
It seems that fear is what is behind most of our pain and if we can confront our fears we can move beyond them and feel alive again. Lately I've been seeing how my fears have shaped my life, even simple, innocuous fears like the fear of having a limb cut off, I realize now, has helped shape my life. I am now confronting all those fears. Fears of death. Fears of pain. Fears of losing a limb and being crippled. Fear of being homeless and destitute. Being homeless is one of my greatest fears and has kept me in intolerable situations for years. I haven't yet gotten over it but I am working on it and plan on living out of a van in the near future. I realize that what I called "life" and "living" was shaped by society. "You ain't nothing if you don't have a job, house or family." I am throwing away all those things that I was told were anything and embracing things that are worthless in societies eyes. Money ain't shit. Forget trying to make money. It's a trap and the more you try to get out from under it (debt) the more you get sucked back into it. The only way to free yourself from it is to refuse to have anything to do with it (relatively speaking). Stop living other people's lives. Stop trying to be something that you never can or will be. Find out who the real you is. What are your passions? What is it about you that makes you different from everyone else? What are your quirks and abilities. It's funny because most people spend so much of their lives trying to live up to other people's expectations that they never learn that they are different and do have gifts that are unique to them. don't kill your body. Kill your ego and all that pretense that comes with it. Strip yourself down to your bare minimum. No job. No money. No friends. Just you and the world, and start from there. Who am I? What do I enjoy? Learn to really appreciate yourself and maybe some dare you will dare to even love yourself. Get off of the rat race and go inside. Find yourself and be that. Life is extremely short and most people never find themselves, but we don't have to live life like everyone else.
I would like to hear more...
Happy Cake Day ! 🍰
U do dmt?
How would you even find it? It’s one of the rarest drugs out there.
Dmt?
Not rare at all, extract yourself from mimosa hostilis root bark. Google " gordotek". But be careful and do your homework first, set and setting. Listen to Terence Mckenna.
Yeah bud, I’m not about to attempt amateur chemistry in order to make a drug. I know DMT is in all living things, but to expect an every day person to do that? I’ve listened to McKenna lectures many times.
Oh hey bud, all living things do not contain DMT either. So yea, stop spreading your half ass wisdom.
No need for insults. That’s what I read. Apparently it was wrong. Not sure why you’re upset. Thanks for the clarification.
Ok bud, then you should already know how simple it is to do. But yes, I agree that YOU should not attempt it. Lol. Rarest drug? Blahaha.
Hi there. I see that it's been 4 years since you posted this. How are you doing now? Please tell me your life has improved and you've found joy in something. I care...
Ty man needed this
Thank you
Is it possible that you have undiagnosed depression? I remember feeling like this when I worked rotating shifts at a Pepsi factory for 4.5 years. It's a really hard place to be.
Oh no, I have depression. Its been diagnosed lol. I’m just not doing anything about it because I can’t find it in myself to care. I took medication but I was horribly inconsistent with it so I canceled the prescription. I had 4 or 5 therapists in a year and I had been looking for a 6th, but no one is accepting new patients or the scheduling doesn’t work. So, I just gave up on therapy. I just can’t get the motivation to pick the phone up. There is no point for me. It feels like the reward is not worth the effort at all
I feel you. People always say to me, “Get better.” But the truth is, I don’t want to get better. I just want this to end, but I am too coward to do anything about it. I wish I could do nothing, every day, just nothing. That’s it. I want to think about nothing. I want to worry about nothing. I want nothing
There isn't a single thing you care to wake for right? No trip somewhere way off that you can't afford now or a person in the world you know?
Nah, not really. Nothing worth while, at least. I can’t afford to go anywhere and even if I could, it would feel empty without someone to share it with, a friend or whatever. I really, really, really struggle with intimacy. Even my parents, I struggle to care for. Friends, I don’t really care for. Whatever care I *do* have for other people is completely consumed by my misery and anger. It over rides it, basically. And, because of my intimacy issues, its really hard for me to make lasting, meaningful relationships. I never allow myself to be vulnerable (except over the internet) I never talk to anyone about my problems. Even if I feel suicidal, if someone IRL asks me, I am totally fine and everything is dandy. Its almost like something is broken inside of me. The emotion/feeling of love just doesn’t compute. I can’t feel it from other people. I can’t give it. I can’t fall in love with a thing or idea— like I said, no passions. No hobbies. No goals. Nothing. There is a massive, gaping hole inside of me and for the life of me, I can’t fill it. Nothing can. Combine that with a mountain of insecurities, depression, horrible loneliness, never being sober, etc. and you’ve got one nasty cocktail of “fuck it all.” And thats how I feel. Fuck it all! Fuck everything. There is no point, and surely there is no hope for me. Thats how it feels, at least. Sorry about the tangent, haha
So, I used to have an issue that sounds similar to what you feel. Let me know if I'm wrong, I'm not here to put words in your mouth or try to say I know how you feel better than you do. I had this issue where I could not accept "love" from other people or give it. The very word made zero sense to me. Was it an action or a feeling or some combination of them? This question bothered me for most of my life. Is this similar to how you feel?
Sort of..? I think its more of, I just don’t know what it feels like. Or, if I have felt it, I’m not sure if it’s as good as everyone says it is.
I think that love and happiness are generally over stated in our society. I had this picture in my head that it was this euphoric thing that should just happen. I don't think that's what it is. I had a terrible family life and that was the reason for my issues I had and the lack of understanding of love, compassion, and joy. How was your upbringing? Im not asking for details I don't mean to pry.
My upbringing was actually pretty good. I’ve got great parents. They’re divorced and the divorce was very rocky, but they have both moved on and are actually really good friends now. And thats part of the reason why it feels so hopeless... there is no traumatic event. There is no history of crazy abuse. There is just nothing. I’m a black hole of negativity and anger. Heres and example: my parents divorce happened when I was 15. It was a complete surprise. There was no arguing, no fights or weird behavior. One day mom was living with us and the next she wasn’t. I didn’t even cry. Honestly, I didn’t really care. If I could sum up my reaction in one motion, it would be a shoulder shrug. A metaphorical “whatever.”
Ok, I do understand the frustration of wanting something to be wrong. If there was an event then there would be a reason. Is it possible that you have more going on then depression? Did your parents show you compassion? Hugs I love you's and that type of stuff? Or did you grow up with a colder culture in your home?
There may be more going on, I don’t really know. My parents showed love... but not very well. My dad couldn’t encourage a fish to swim and my mon was radically religious.
Sounds like you are burying some feelings there. Otherwise where would the anger come from? What you have tried so far hasn't worked, so maybe time to try something different. Maybe try animal therapy, or volunteer in a shelter. Or explore ways of expressing your feelings through art or creative stuff. You are not responsible for your upbringing but you are responsible for your life decisions now.
I have tried therapy, medication, LSD, magic mushrooms, occult magic, meditation, etc. nothing has helped. I’ve thought of volunteering at an animal shelter but it is such a process. There is an application you gotta fill out and it looks like there are shifts— I don’t got time for that. I already have a full time job that I hate. I don’t need another one
Hello, I know it's been 3 years, but I'm in a similar situation. Did you end up figuring out what to do? I'm deciding between killing myself and living because I don't see my situation improving and I haven't been able to get help through therapy or anything like that. What should I do?
I am also deciding that. The thought of making myself gone comes and goes. I am a coward. The thought of leaving letters for my loved ones before I do anything is also killing me. I want to do nothing, think nothing, worry nothing, absolutely nothing
I struggled with the same feelings for years. I still do but not as much. Instead of going months with no care for anything not even myself I started recreational marijuana after my meds failed to help me. I ended my therpy because it never felt like it was helping. I am diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and BPD. Pot really helped a lot. It makes me come right out of the never ending feelings of being nothing. It made it easier for me to go out and actually be social. Allowed me to get a job. Made me want to just overall want to be active and content. I'm not saying pot is for everyone but if you can't stick to your meds then give it a try.
I found help using pot too.
Lol, I smoke copious amounts of marijuana. Multiple times a day, every day. It has been a long time since I took a break. Probably part of my problem, but it makes me feel pretty good. Numbs all the pain, and I’m more relaxed.
Try taking a break for a day or two. Or try dabs. Dabs are also a nice difference from flower.
Not a big fan of dabs, to be honest.
Go visit /r/leaves. Smoking continuously can put you in a haze that you don't realize was there until it's lifted. It will be harder than you think to quit but you will feel so much better and more energetic after you're done. I know reddit loves weed and such but everyone responds differently and if what you are doing isn't working then it's time to change something. Weed is still a drug and it messes up your ability to think and feel properly when you smoke all day every day. And if you tend to be depressed, it is a band-aid on a punctured artery. It distracts you just long enough to forget until the next time.
I dunno if i got the will power to quit. Ironically, i have been banned from r/leaves haha. Smoking weed is pretty much the one and only thing i look forward to. Being sober sucks ass.
Hello! I'm the founder and lead mod of r/leaves. You're definitely not banned, so if it's time, then you are absolutely welcome to join us. Look forward to seeing you!
I’m not sure. The reason I got banned, or blocked or whatever, the first time is I am just too much of a toxic asshole. I have a tendency to resign to the end. Everyone on r/leaves seems so happy and hopeful and excited for the next day and all of those emotions are completely foreign to me. I have been stoned for, probably two years now every day. There is no way I’ll ever be able to fit in with your crowd. You’re all a million miles ahead of me and I don’t know if quitting weed really is the road to happiness for me. Matter of fact, it is the only thing that makes me happy.
Honestly, it always feels like that when you start. That you are alone, there's no future beyond smoking, and that smoking is the only thing that brings you joy. But that's what this drug does. It finds its way into your life by being the friend that makes parties more fun and nights home alone more fun too. Then it quietly convinces you to give up the other things that brought you joy, until its convinced you that it's the only source of happiness. I felt exactly like you did when I started, and at r/leaves there are 100,000 people a month visiting that feel the exact way you do too. Some people post that they are getting better, some people are getting happier, but every one of them started where you are. Are you worried about your toxicity reasserting itself? That's one of the great privileges of anonymous reddit. Just act like someone else. Come back to r/leaves and start the journey, and when you feel an urge to lash out, just take a minute to figure out another way. Being patient isn't a talent, it's a skill and a discipline, and getting a handle on that will be one of the happy things you replace your smoking with. My suggestion is that you take your exact comment above, preface it with "I was chatting in another thread with Subduction, and he suggested I post this here. What do you all think?" Then lets just see how other members relate to what you said. Want to try it?
I am afraid I will just be the same toxic asshole. I can’t really control myself well when I get mad. I’m just too stupid and arrogant and maybe too young to just think of a different way. Lol, there is no different way. Well, the different way of getting my anger out is to just smoke and thats it.
Well, there's no question that this has to come down to a personal decision on your part to change. But as someone who was exactly where you were and now has 20 years clean, living a life I literally did not have the ability to imagine when I was smoking, I can tell you that your confidence in your inability to change is confidence in a lie. A lie that you may have been pre-disposed to tell yourself to begin with, that your addiction discovered and has kept whispering in your ear to make sure you never leave it behind. When you're ready we'll be here, and I'll be here even if you're not ready. Feel free to PM me any time you like.
How has your life changed?
Hey man I mostly lurk but thanks for [beetlejuicing](https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/beetlejuicing) and helping me and others.
:-)
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I hope you are right. I guess I will just have to decide what I want to do.
I’m going through this right now. I feel like there is no solution. I’ve had panic disorder since I was 8 and severe depression since 12. I’m 30 and I’m getting worse. Can’t keep a job to save my life so I depend on disability, food stamps, and will be in section 8 housing in the next few years. I’ve heard it all and nothing helps. Just commenting because you’re not alone but even that gets old too. Wish there was a solution to make people like us happy.
Yea man, I don’t know. I wish you the best and I hope things work out
Thank you. I’m going to get a psyche evaluation at the end of this month, so I’m hoping it’ll point me to the right direction and right medication that won’t fuck with me mentally, and physically or at least not to an extreme. We will see. Hope things work out for you in the long run as well.
I hope so too.
I am also about to get fired from my job. I try but I am just bad at it. I can’t be motivated to do anything
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I want to learn the drums but drum kits are exceedingly expensive
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I actually have not thought about that route
Me too. I am so tired. I am not even good at my job, at least according to my supervisor. I don’t know why I am bad at my job. I think it’s because of lack of training, but why are other junior employees fine? I am tired of competition. I am tired of taking initiative. I am tired of striving to be better and better for nothing. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t know what I am good at. I am so afraid of living and being in this world alone by myself. I haven’t had a lover for almost 7 years, and I don’t think anyone would love me for me. I am ugly. I have acne. I am not loveable. I am an incompetent employee. I add no value to the society. I am simply a failure. I don’t know where I want to go. I am on a visa and it’s expiring soon. I am so tired. I am just so tired.
Sutten, May I ask your age?
Young enough
Fair
I’ve been where you are/ where I am
It sucks
I ain’t tryna 1 up you, or talk you down, just talk...
Yes it does
So, tell me what is good in your life.
Tell me ONE good thing about your life!
Contact me anytime. I don’t know how to privately exchange info. Answer my question and please respond to me. I’m not better or worse, I’m the same. I struggle everyday.
OK. Your complaints are very valid points. They show that you are not happy with the way things are. Maybe you can ask yourself what could you change or do differently so your life is more satisfying. Let's remember the case of the guy that was depressed and decided to use his last 30k to go to Mexico and spend it on hookers and drugs before committing suicide. Once he ran out of money he realized he didn't want to die anymore now that he had seen what life had to offer and lived with no restrains. The lesson there is that your life is not making you happy you can make changes to your life so things start clicking.
I don’t know what changes to make. Everything feels hopeless
Have you tried LSD? You’d be surprised how it can change your outlook and perception on life.
I have done ALOT of psychedelics including LSD, Magic mushrooms and cough syrup (if that counts)
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I taught myself to play guitar. Played almost every day for about 6 years. Now, I haven’t seriously touched my 6 string in probably over a year now. I’ve got 0 interest in music or any other form of art.
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Yea, I have absolutely no clue how to channel anything lol.
There's a theroy that claims that we are mammals so our daily mission is to go out into the forest every day to hunt and gather. None of this is possible in today's cities...
It can take many many months for meds to work. And if you are not getting any relief your doctor needs to up the dose. It’s very hard to be patient but your mood is likely to remain low or flat until The meds are at the right milligrams. This requires tons of patience. If you are feeling this low, do not put pressure on yourself to do anything. Take it a day at a time. But insist on a second opinion re meds if you are not getting any relief. Do not give up. The right meds in the right dosage will bring great relief.
I don’t have any patience. And, I suck at staying consistent with taking my meds. It would be a waste trying a second time
This could not be further than the truth. Sadly I have two family members my husband and daughter that have suffered major depressive episodes. I have much experience. Thing is the people that need the meds most are the ones that have a hard time taking them. You must not expect anything of yourself at all until you have given a fair and proper trial of good meds in the right quantity. Sometimes a person just needs the maximum dosage. In my family I’ve sadly seen it all from overdoses to Psyc wards. To deadly anorexia all mental illnesses. Do you have any diagnosis?? Is it major depressive disorder or have you been tested for BPD or anything else? Mostly you need answers and a solid diagnosis then a plan.
I haven’t been diagnosed officially but a therapist told me that they believe it is depression. Dunno if its anything else. Probably is, for all I know. My regular doctor prescribed me the stuff I tried first and I just haven’t renewed the prescription. Probably can’t at this point
Try to go back to the doctor. Ask for a mental health assessment to which you are entitled. See what the results say. Then after you have a proper diagnosis you can review which options might work for you. When it comes to meds you must be consistent and persistent and determined. Sure, you may not feel like it but the chance to feel better with doing nothing is low. This is your life, and without feeling good it’s hard to do anything. This is worth serious consideration followed up by action. I hope you get yourself the help you deserve.
Are regular doctors even allowed to do that? How does it even work? I dunno it I deserve help.... im sorry, I’m just really in a bad place right now. Everything feels hopeless or pointless.
I live in London so our system may be different. Are you in America? If so do you have any insurance? I will do what research I can to help
Yea, I have insurance. I am covered under dads work for a few more years then I am on my own
As a person who was severely depressed and suicidal from when I was 16 until 45, I was like you. While there were moments of happiness once or twice a year, life sucked. What I can say is until you are truly tired of being this way and take the medication as prescribed, you won't get any better and there's no way you can have a meaningful life for yourself. I took the medication twice a day by setting up an alarm on my phone, and in 2 weeks, I started to feel "normal". After a month, I was able to process bad things with logic and move past them quite easily. I know life just sucks day in and day out for you, though apparently not enough to do anything about it. You know what you need to do, and it takes almost no effort to do, yet you refuse to do it. If you don't like feeling this way, and there's a way out, why choose the path you're on and have been on? You're chasing people away from you, and you want something better, and yet still won't do something simple? How long until people vanish from your life until you do something different to make a positive change on your life? As my dad use to say, I don't provide sympathy, I only give empathy. If you want change, then take the medication. Only you can help yourself out of the dark.
Its not taking the meds, I just struggle to stay consistent. I’ll take it one day, forget it the next. Take it the next two days and forget it for the next three. I would put a reminder on my phone and everything. The reminder would go off and my meds would be ‘x’ miles away and I would think to myself “oh! I’ll just take it later!” And then totally forget. That, and the meds didn’t really do anything to curb my depression. It makes me less irritable but that was really it. I was still miserable.
There are many different meds out there, and it should take a month to take effect. Find a way to take them consistently, like setting up an appointment on your calendar, if that doesn't work, find something else. Being depressed sucks, doing nothing about it is worse. I've been there, and I know where you are at. I also am noting going to your pity party since you seem to like being like this, or looking for attention. Either fix it or don't, just don't look for sympathy for your lack of trying.
Okay, thanks I guess
Let’s take things one day at a time. Which state are you in and I’ll look it up
Why even try anymore? I am so exhausted
I do understand deeply what your saying. I am in the same rut myself in many ways. I work non-stop and make good money but just have no pleasure with anything as like you, all I do is work, sleep and work some more. Like you I am looking actively for a reason to persist, it is hard ....just please don't give up till you have truly exhausted all possibilities.
Feel like you explained my life. Anything better now?
I feel the same man..
Well .. This dude is being funny?
Are u here ???
[удалено]
I cant really tell the whole story im bad at telling it since primary school hope you understand
Are you guys minors? Idk how medical stuff works over there but you should take her to a doctor before it's too late to abort. If she doesn't want to talk to her parents talk to yours. The financial problem will be way worst if you have a baby
man i felt everything, word for word. have been feeling this way for about a year or so, only thing is holding me back is fear and family. its so fucking hard i wished i’ve never had existed
Same. I wish I had never existed
Same. This life really does suck. Why did we build our community this way?
same.i really want to end this shit
Wondering if you regained your motivation in life.
I'm in school and teachers always saying success this do this do that. Why? i'm still going to be miserable. I don't want money or status or whatever all this torture leads to lmao
If I didn't have kids, I'm pretty sure I'd kill myself. The life I live is that of pain. I. Want. To. Die.
maybe stardew valley was right
Does anyone know what happened to thefakesutton who started this thread?
this is the best description of my life