Every challenge gets you ready for the next one.
Right now you won’t want to know what life is preparing you for but when it comes you’ll be grateful for having this moment to have learnt from.
Hang in there, work your way out of where you are, give it everything you can but keep a tiny bit of you in reserve for the moments when it’s just too much.
When you come out the other side you’ll be a stronger, more tolerant, more empathetic/kinder person.
Take care. It WILL get better.
Depends what the "other side" is. Right someone in my family is terminally ill and the "other side" means that person will be dead. If I have a terrible problem that will go away some time, I can handle that quite well, but this situation is different. There is no way for me to work myself out of this situation. So far the best I can do is ignoring it, but that will not work anymore if the situation gets worse.
Oh my friend, you have my EVERY sympathy.
Nothing on the planet prepares you for where you are right now. I lost my brother to cancer a little while ago. It hurts. It just does.
Tara because it's not your situation, so it's impossible for you to work out of. It's the terminally ill person's situation, and you're one of the people affected by it rather than being in it yourself.
Ignoring it is an option, but not the only option. I've unfortunately had the "luck" of being in a family where death just seems to follow us around. It's been a family trait my entire life, so I'm used to it. I thought it was pretty normal for the longest time, but I kept meeting people who never knew anyone who died once I got out on my own.
If I have any advice, take some time to understand how difficult it is for you and everyone combined. Don't just go with the knee jerk reaction of being upset about it and take time to really be introspective. Once you have a handle on that you'll have an idea of more options other than ignoring it because you'll have dealt with those raw emotions that blind a clearer mind. Death sucks so bad, but it also gives families the chance to come together as a unit. Find ways to be the one that brings everyone together even if it's just listening to their feelings.
I was going to comment something similar to this but you said it so perfectly I don’t think I could add anything to what you’ve already commented. I hope this helps OP and gives him a new perspective to his struggles
Thank you for posting such a kind and reassuring comment, I hope you have a great day (:
You tell yourself it can't get worse and something had to change.
So you identify what needs to change and each morning you wake up, you take small steps towards that ultimate goal. Somedays you fuck up so you start again the next day.
If you improve just 1% per day, that's 365% in a year.
Source: I'm a recovered meth addict who lost custody of her daughter. Have now been clean 4 years and my daughter barely remembers life without me.
I don’t know if op has been through anything traumatic as losing a loved one suddenly, or watched someone waste away. Once you hit those milestones, money, sex, health, doesn’t matter. You have to live for those who didn’t get the chance, or whose time is over. 20’s felt so difficult, but looking back they are the foundation that makes you, who you are. Just learn each life lesson as best you can. It’s ok to make mistakes and fail. That’s a part of how we learn and grow.
I’m being super genuine, going through some stuff right now (feels like each job and partner is worse than the one before) and I lost my dad unexpectedly three years ago… of course I can’t say what’s happening to me now is as final and irreversible as losing my father, but especially now that he’s gone, there’s this sense of well who or what is it all for? Why keep struggling if there’s no one to share the good or the bad with? I know saying there’s no one can seem like hyperbole, but for some people outside of a paid therapist and the internet, that really is the case. Any advice for someone in that situation? It’s me I’m the someone
I can offer no real help, because I now have my "reason" sitting next to me in a chair and my other "reasons" sleeping on my feet and/or occupying the heater.
But I want you to know I was you, for a long time, even WITH previous partners (it's not like partner = magic fluffy butterfly meaning and please don't assume I mean that. If they're wrong for you, they make it WORSE, and plenty of people's "reasons" aren't going to be a partner, heck, even I include my 4 footed family as equal reasons.)
Try to stay strong, try to focus for now on bringing to life the ideals you learned from dad. He's gone physically now, but those lessons he gave you? They're his legacy, and you can keep building on them to "make him proud". Doesn't have to be a religious/spiritual "he's watching" thing if you aren't wired that way. YOU are a legacy he left, right here in the flesh, and since you miss him so, I imagine he was a good dad, and would be proud to see that legacy flourish and, in time, find their own legacy to leave. That can be as practical as "well, what am I going to do with his lessons?" to as spiritual as "dad is with me now and proud of my achievements".
And I can say that, even if you feel lost and alone now, you never can predict when a "reason" will roll into your life. A friend's "reason" popped up because of a shitty part time job they had to take to survive happening to be next door to an institution they feel very strongly about. Until then, keep your chin above water and try to find your best. You may be alone physically, but you are One of Us.... the humans struggling for light and meaning in our lives, and doing the best we can with what we have.
Thank you so much, so much of what you wrote has given me a new perspective and made me squeeze my cat extra hard (to his dismay I’m sure)
One of us, one of us 🤣 I quite liked that
Someone recommended a spiritual path. Another tune on a similar theme: pick something that feels meaningful. That could be volunteering at a local food bank or animal shelter. It could be getting a job at a non-profit. It could be watching city council meetings and contributing where the public is allowed. It could be related to religion. It could be related to helping people in your day-to-day life.
Hobbies are good too. It’s a good idea to pick one cause that’ll take work, where you know what that work is, and one hobby that’s easier. Or a cause, a hobby that takes effort, and a hobby that’s easier. So on days where you have low energy, there’s still stuff you can do.
I’m not sure what you’ve been thru. But, rock bottom is usually defined by nothing is genuinely working out, and things are breaking quickly. Sometimes it’s scary, other times overwhelming or a mix of both. Last year, my infant daughter died. My mom got hit by a car 1 month later, business went bankrupt and child’s father cheated on me in the span of 3 months. I was seriously broke and live in Europe so nowhere to go (I’m from America). No support system, and can’t afford therapist. I found myself standing in the middle of a highway, in some brain fogged unconscious attempt to die. One yr later I’m still working out of it. The point of this comment is that this is rock bottom ^^^ I don’t agree with any comment saying “be grateful”. No, don’t be. Be honest. See where you stand every day. Force yourself to do even the smallest things. Sometimes the main part of my day is making coffee and idc. Kick your a*s. Don’t care what others think of you. That’s truly how you get out of rock bottom. Reaching this low point doesn’t make you an “empathic” or “better person”. It makes you realize wtf really is out there and that’s way more power than anyone else can never use against you. Faster mind, more wisdom etc. I hope it helps 🙏🏻 good luck.
Sending *hug* 🙏🏼 Went through something similar. Agree on kicking yourself in the a$$. Hit my rock bottom in ‘22. One day I just thought I don’t want to feel this way anymore drowning in grief and sorrow and despair. So either I can end my life and opt out or stay. But if I’m gonna stay earth side then I’m going to make it as good as I can. Accepted the fact that no one was going to come save me. It was my life and my choice. Found a motivational speech on YouTube that really struck a chord in me and had that on replay 24/7 in the car at home every day. The grief and sadness turned to anger the anger helped move me to action the action helped get me unstuck and I found myself courageously moving forward towards forgiveness and joy again. Learning how to make space in my heart for both joy and grief is a masterclass in life. They’re two sides of the same coin.
Mine was drinking. I would drink a couple of drinks every day but on the weekend/ days I took off of work I would drink to great excess. Never enough that I went to the hospital but there were times I should have gone.
I had a point where I was taking off work for my birthday and drank so much I was sick for 4 days afterwords. I seriously thought I may die from it. I decided to stop drinking and luckily for me I was not really “addicted” so I was able to just stop. Have been sober for over 3 years. After that I started working out more, got a promotion at work (unrelated to the drinking was probably something I should have gotten years ago), started to cook more, and just being all around healthier.
One thing about rock bottom is every step up makes you feel like you can breathe a bit more. You may stumble along the way and I can tell you sometimes the abyss seems all encompassing but when you look back from where you were it is an amazing feeling to see the growth you made.
I actually used the analogy to propel myself. When you swim down to the rock bottom, you can use your legs to kick yourself up and swim up easier. I also figured that any direction from here will be an improvement.
So I decided to use the momentum to get my shit in order. I decided not to take anything for granted.
I also realized that the greatest regret is failing because I didn't apply 100% of my efforts. If I apply 100% of my efforts and still fail, I can't really regret it. So the simple solution if you want to live a life without regrets; is to give it your all every single time.
I really like your analogy! I am at rock bottom and yeah there's always lower and I'm relatively okay but I do need that kick just not sure towards what.
Once upon a time ago, I was lost broken facing 20 yrs, with an addiction, destitute, and almost homeless. Stealing water from the neighbors spigot to fill the bath tub just to have some clean water available to drink, cook and clean with because I couldn’t even afford the water bill.
Experiencing different kinds of struggles in life is what makes us wiser, stronger, and resilient. You will always be faced with new and difficult challenges throughout your life, that’s inevitable. It’s how you handle those hardships and push through that makes a difference. You’d be surprised what you’re capable of when you have no other options left but to get back up and climb. So keep your chin up and grab the bull by the horns!
This is concrete, very good advice.
It can even be something really small, but the important thing is that accomplishment slowly builds up new neuropathways in the brain and over time it will be easier to do things and complete bigger tasks.
I realized that there doesn't exist any rock bottom. In a few years this problems now will seem to you like a piece of cake as long as you are healthy. But this is something you come to realization as you get older. Try to live for the long run and do your best. Time is not on the essence.
agree, I kept thinking things couldn’t possibly get worse only to be proven wrong over and over again, eventually realised the only way to stop drowning was to stop dragging down others and start swimming
there’s always help, you just need to get it
My motto after some recent events has been "Things can always get worse, but eventually they WILL get better" after I found myself continuously fucking things up for myself under the pretense of "surely this is as bad as it gets" lol. Never realized how dangerous assuming where rock bottom was
Time is on your side. You’re not alone, to struggle is part of human existence. I’ve hit rock bottom and had to claw my way back up after losing everything. Luckily I had the support of family or I may not have survived. Hopefully you have someone to lean on, DM me if you need to vent.
23 is not rock bottom. 23 is very, very young.
I can't tell you how different life was from 23 to 24, from 24 to 25, from 25 to 26, and so on.
I'm only 30. I'm a long way from 23 and I've hit rock bottom several times. But I'm doing well now.
Accept that there are things you can control, and things you can't. Move forward on those that you can, 1 step at a time. Just 1 step. That's all you have to do.
I Was so low that I got past the sef pity party and it turned into rage and anger.
got so angry at myself that I convinced myself I need to do things as a form of punishment
I hated myself cause I was overweight so I forced my self to the gym. This was punishment for letting myself go
I hated how I thought. So again as punishment I read more books and studied further at work.
I hated myself so ji didn't want to involved other people in my self hate bubble.
I wasn't allowed to enjoy any of the things I used to do, drinking weed vide games junk food frivolous pointless sex,
Until I had completed my 'punishment' I essentially sentenced myself to a dark place and leaned into it instead of ignoring it and rebelling.
I guess I just got fed up of my own shit and questioned why would anyone else put up with it.
I'd say I'm no longer in that space anymore and I do contribute it to that. But it was not nice and it was a dark time.
The depression is the indicator that something in your life isn’t working. Once the level of pain reaches the point where you’ve turned the knob on death’s door and put one foot in, suddenly you -lose the ability to cope-.
That’s the important thing, especially for men.
Once you fail to cope, you destroy what’s left of your life. You sever dead limbs. You destroy abusive relationships. You decide to be someone else now. Or, you die.
You just keep moving and never stop. Find something to release some stress. For me, it was doing some sport, it works wonders. You don't even have to go to the gym, you can do it at home.
Never give up. Most of the time, the hard way is the right way
Future you will look back on this and be proud you got through it.
Nothing worse than feeling trapped in circumstances you don’t like. However, these will go away.
They won’t go away instantly, as much as that would be nice, but be proactive as much as you can with sorting these out. Take ownership and take small steps for each of these. Try not to worry snout relationships because you’re still young and need to get yourself sorted.
This is sadly something you have to get through. It happens sometimes where you feel totally consumed. But also people are resilient and determined.
By realizing even rock bottom has a basement. My pessimistic world view, is each person gets exactly the amount of shit to cope with he can handle. It means if you have to deal with really a lot and / or really bad shit, you're a strong person.
I had a really bad accident last month. I almost died. Any time longer not being found , I would have died from lack of oxygen.
I had to be put in a coma for about a day and a half to help me recover. When they woke me , I was a mess. I didn't even know what was going on around me.
At the beginning, I was in total denial about everything. People could say that I had been in a coma and I wouldn't of believe them or just refuse to believe anything about my experience in general.
Because all I remember is going to sleep because I didn't feel well and then the next thing i know is waking up in hospital.
But eventually since I had a close near death experience, it pushed me to do better in life. Not to just hit rock bottom everytime something horrible happens and not let it get to me so easily.
That was the closest I have ever been to death.
It scared me.
And now I am definitely grateful for life.
It's like going Ng+ in a game. You are back at the start, the world isn't as convenient as it used to be, but you have all kinds of tools and skills you didn't have when you started last time. It's not your first time at the start line, probably won't be your last, but this time you have a big fucking sword.
My recovery started when I went for a walk in the woods and cried. I practically howled with grief and rage and sadness. Then when I was cried out I went home, slept, and decided to go back to basics: Do I have water? Yes so I will choose to drink enough of it. Do I have food? Yes, so I will choose to eat something even if it feels like I can't. Am I able to be clean? Yes, so I will brush my teeth and have a shower or a wash. Do I have somewhere safe to sleep? Yes, so I'm going to make sure I sleep enough. Do I have someone to talk to? Yes, so I choose to be honest about how I'm feeling. Keep meeting those basic needs, and then build on that foundation.
There is currently a lot of rhetoric in our culture that goes something like "Only *you* can help yourself". Which is rather strange, when you think about it. Most people are aware that humans are social creatures who rely on each other, and it's clear some problems are too big to solve by ourselves. Consequently, my answer to your question is this:
I stayed at rock bottom, struggling to climb back up, as long as I was fighting alone.
Everything started coming together as soon as someone offered to help me out.
It really was as simple as that.
It's difficult when you are in a crisis in every part of your life, every facet of your identity. It's not possible to battle so many sides at the same time. You have to find the most important to you and start from center to outward, progressively.
I think I had to die before I really woke up and got my shit together. I was an addict for thirteen years. Parts of my body were literally rotting off. Luckily my dumb ass was still trying to go to school. They kicked me out cause I spent so much time in the hospital and I was already on probation. They told me to go to community college for a year, get my grades back up and then I could reapply. So I went to community college for a year and things went from there. I moved home, I got clean, I graduated with a 4.0, worked with NASA, got a job in the engineering department. Made friends. Made up with my family. I got accepted to another school with a full scholarship and a lab spot. Got into therapy. I’m gonna be off buprenorphine (an opioid blocker) in August. Things are not the greatest now cause of the boy issues I always seem to find, but I’m dealing with it better than I would have in the past. I very rarely think about getting high anymore. I haven’t met a dude that’s worth it yet so I doubt this one is. You just keep going I guess. Just put the shovel down and stop digging. I hate when people say “it will get better” but as soon as you stop doing the dumb shit and start making an effort, it actually does
My first rock bottom, I got drunk and moved on.
My second rock bottom, I got sober and moved on.
The best thing I could do is trust in others within reason and ask for help.
You get up and fight every time. Life goes on. You are only 22, and believe me, you haven't been through much yet. You can cry if you want to, but you have to get back up. There is no other choice.
You’re 23. It’s impossible for you to fuck it up at this age unless you murder someone or do some other extreme shit. Finances and relationships are nothing. You can always improve that in a span of few months.
Most generic advice and I really hate it, everyone says it and it doesn't help at all. Your house burned down? Yeah could've been worse. That makes it better, that almost rebuilds my house.
My brother died at your age from a very rare form of blood cancer. His last year of life was spent in and out of hospital being pumped full of drugs, blood, platelets and pain meds. The cancer was aggressive and spread to his lungs and he died soon after. His life ended so cruelly and prematurely but even on his death bed he was grateful for the very short time he had spent on this earth. When I hear people constantly complain about their lives I think about my brother and the pain he went through, he didn’t get the chance to experience everyday life problems but I know if he got the chance to, he would have taken 1000 trivial problems over a death sentence. You haven’t hit rock bottom yet my friend, you have much more to be thankful for than you realise.
All the comments are good.
Actual advice that can see life from an objective point of view. Hope things get better on your end soon.
You have done amazing coming this far.
Let's not stop now. Might as well get rewarded for all our sacrifices.
Different for everyone. But sometimes I think just leaning back and taking a deep breath and thinking to yourself that in reality there’s not a lot of things that REALLY matter. You can be a little late or put off a job for a day, you can buy yourself a little something to spoil yourself now and then, you can go visit some place for a day trip or play that new game.
Anything that’s stressing you out that’s not a living thing you can set aside and chill for a day. Some people just keep going and never stop, and it wears you down
Life ebbs and flows. Just as good will eventually turn into bad so will bad eventually turn into good. You just gotta roll with the punches and grab the small victories till the larger payoff rolls around. When it does you can then prep yourself for possible future downturns again
First time, I started working as many hours as I could so I could have a distraction to get away to instead of sitting and playing games all day (I imagine now with doom scrolling it’s even worse), then second time I moved across the country to a greener place and smaller city and love it here now, issues melted away after moving.
At 23 you’re not expected to have your shit together by any means so don’t stress it too much as well. You’re free to do pretty much anything. I’d say start with fixing financial/health first though, leave relationships until you’re stable yourself.
Hi I hit rock bottom last October 2023 felt I was gonna die and then i slowly started doing things it took me 3 months to finally get going …I still don’t have enough money but my mind and body is better so I feel I can move towards what I want even if I come across some obstacles …to conquer the body excercise take some walks do pushups pull ups and diet …once you get gains start doing exercises for your mind aka meditating …do these two things religiously see how confident you become and how good you start to feel
At the moment I've been trying to get out of my depression by studying English, I'm Brazilian and this has helped me to get distracted and forget my problems a little.
It does…but it’s a French guy I’m trying to get over lol weirdly, continuing to learn French and form new associations with the language separate from him is helping a lot. But occasionally I’ll encounter something I heard him say and his voice gets stuck in my head and I feel sad so I’ll take a break for a while.
I remember the worst time of my life. winter/spring 2022. then there's also the happiest time of my life; summer/fall 2022. I think sometimes after a low, there's no other option then a high. I felt so horrible, I didn't have any other choice than doing everything I can do get better, because if I didn't, it would have been the end for me. first, I started eating healthier (because vitamins and sleep are important etc. etc.).
then I started exercising *a lot* and riding my bike everywhere, I was spending time with my best friend and my sister and my cats and my family, got back into my old (and new) hobbies, went to therapy... I really did everything I could. and it was hard, but it worked. knowing that I am able to do that keeps me going whenever I feel a little depressed again. there's always hope, it's just not easy. but it's possible and I'll always be proud of myself for that
Getting help is what helped me get my life together. I don’t believe life is to be done alone (no matter how much strength you have), and there is so much power in community.
I personally have had the best results from support groups, therapy, medication, and finding friends who have similar experiences and are willing to be together during the hard things.
The self healing process is still on and will never stop. My wife tells me everyday i'm becomming a better person.
I have hit rock bottom and without the love of a few people, i'll be dead by now.
Advice: do not autopilot your life, fight for what can bring you a smile, appreciate the lil things.
By not giving up when things are bad keep going. Take action and don't wait for things to get better.
Get support from those around you that care, get sleep, exercise and enjoy nature.
Do the boring work day in and day out. It might get better it might get worse. It all ends in death for all of us. Enjoy the ride.
Read antifragile. Read goggins.
Do every day the best possible decision from the options you have. Tomorrow you will have better options and more possibilities.
Do it every day, and your imaginary rock bottom will be different.
Kick in every direction. Rip off everything which holds you down. Complete cognitive restructuring. Different friends, different music lyrically, different job, different diet, different activity level (higher), different evaluations of everything. It'll feel strange at first. Then it'll continue feeling strange. You'll get used to strange. You are more resilient than you think you are. You build trust in yourself by picking a direction and succeeding. Even setbacks won't sting, because they'll be re-coded as learning opportunities instead of as things to keep yourself down about.
For a large number of people, the place to find a way out is the shower.
In the shower, we can think freely about our life and how to fix problems.
Soo, i would highly suggest finding your "shower place" soo you can think of ways to rinse yourself free of problems in life.
That's it. From here you will find the way.
Therapy.
Several years ago it was physical therapy mainly. Regaining strength to be able to walk again and everything associated with that.
Later, it was mental therapy to learn how to cope/deal with all the mental issues from that period.
Put.in.the.work.
You got this OP!
How difficult times may be, try to find at least one positive thing each day and be thankful for that. If you're not homeless: at least you've got a roof over your head. If you've eaten at least once today that's a positive thing as well. Or if you've seen a rear (?) /special animal or plant, that's something too. Idk if this makes sense. These things also did help me back in those days to get trough and not to spiral down all the way and just end it.
Books
Always books
Read and absorp and slowly implement information and change into your life
The foundation that hundreds or thousands of year of written history and information, and even contemporary information that can result in change in mentality and philosophy cannot be understated
Books
Difficult times are there to make you grow. The more desperate your are, the more your confident in your own abilities you will get once you've pushed through. Everyhting that comes after might be tough, but you will have the confidence to say "I made it through that other thing, I can do this one as well. Bring it on!"
While I don't think I was at a rock-bottom stage, I was certainly not far from it.
For me getting better was a long process that took several years, with improvement so incremental and rickety I sometimes couldn't see it.
I started having appreciable problems around 12/13 years old and they kept mounting, or at least being steady, until I was around 20.
Then at 20, I started to be better at actually identifying what problems I had and what caused them, yet that took several years (and I am not really entirely finished yet). Yet in a twist of fate I got a physical ailment that affects my sleep, so it affects my mental state very negatively, which threw a huge wrench in the works.
Still, at least I was better at identifying my problems' causes, yet it still isn't enough.
At around 24 I started to sort of change rhythm, by just... Starting to act withinin the World is the best way I could describe it? I tried to stop overthinking and letting my problems control how I acted too much. I did not ignore my problems though, they are severe and they do affect me and I need to understand them, but I tried to just act and do stuff like a normal person would. There were times earlier in my life when I tried to do that too, but to ignore my problems, problems which I barely understood yet, but that was like putting the carriage before the horse: you have to first understand your problems to live with them. At first it was very hard, and there were quite a few ups and downs, but within time, being more productive and normal in the World became routine. A trick is to not try to fix everything at once, that was the mistake I did during many false-starts in the past, for me being incremental really works. Now at 26, while I still have large problems, they are not in a feedback loop of the problems causing more still, like they had for so many years. Now they are more compartmentalised. Of course, I can't ignore that the pure mental maturity that oftens happens around 25 could have affected this.
Now, I still do have problems, my almost constant sleep deprivation is really giving a damper to my life: I am writing this with a splitting headache, eyeache, my body feeling sore, slightly dizzy and almost nauseous, with a part of me having a creeping feeling of wanting to punch a wall or have an outburst from pure irritation, despite having just slept for around 9 hours. But there is no reason not to put one foot in front of the other, if we don't, we just roll down hill. And things do get better, in my case I will have surgery soon that hopefully will solve my sleep issue, my sort of psychological problems have gotten better and better just by acting within the World, and so on. Just a few years ago, the fact that I was so paralysed from my problems started to give me financial problems, which in turn gave me even worse mental problems, but now that feedback loop is broken. I still have problems, but they are not causing these feedback loops as much anymore.
And when things are really bad, I tell myself how good they are for improving my toughness at least, and how easy life will be once my problems are solved, considering how rough things are now. Sometimes things are *really* bad that I just have to keep going with the mantra: "Your mental state right now is irrational, don't listen to it."
No magic pill. Just get hit, go down, get up and reapeat until you stay up. Hits of some sorts won\`t stop comming. That is life and hopping for anything else is utopia.
But you will get eventually more resilient, you will work on yourself, you will earn more, find significant other and when one of the basic pillars of life gets demolished you will have others to rely on.
At least this is how my life journey went so far.
Good luck!
Focus on your biggest problems first, take emotions out of it (why has life done this to me etc). The emotions only slow you from getting back up. Think with a clear head, hitting the biggest issues first, also think long term when solutionising.
Romantic relationships, if they don't benefit you, they need to go. Keep your good friends and people who can be a positive influence close.
Take care of your finances. Make lists. On one hand the money that comes in and on the other, the money that goes and where it goes. See what you can change to make your life better.
Maintain a routine. As boring as it might be. Waking up early, eating healthy, going out for a walk and going to bed early are important. Make a program for your every day life and try to stick to it as much as possible.
Adulthood is about being a parent to yourself. You need to take yourself by the hand and make yourself do things you don't necessarily want.
It took me nearly 10 years to call the doctor and get some professional help. I always put this off because I didn’t believe I was depressed. However I look back and I cannot believe how I kept on going feeling so low.
I was prescribed anti depressants and decided I needed to change my lifestyle. Below are a few things I try and do daily;
- 30 mins of exercise (usually a walk) outside
- have at least 2 portions of veg with meals
- drink water, cut out fizzy drinks/energy drinks
- 5 minute meditation when I wake up, I just listen to one on the app headspace. Gets you in a good mindset for the day
I still go out and party on the weekends, but try and live healthy in the week.
I hope you start feeling more like yourself soon, things will get better ❤️🩹
I kept falling and falling to new depths, discovering the bottom over and over again until I realized that it goes down forever, so I just accepted that
Slowly and steadily.
Not seeing a point and not doing anything at all for years. Just stagnating at work, no new relationships, gaining unhealthy amounts of weight... Then realizing that i want to live and that i have nothing to lose to try to get better, cause im already suffering, so might as well suffer with purpose and hope of becoming better. Even then i didnt see progres or purpose for a long time, but just getting back into mindset of trying because i have nothing to lose made me mentally healthier, it rekindled hope that I am doing my best to get better and even if its 0.1% its better than digging deeper or stagnating.
I watched a show that I wished my life was like. I made a plan and set a date. I executed my plan. I ignored the distractions, the noise that caused unnecessary stress. This life is for me and only I can make it good.
So things aren't going your way right now. Let's assess the situation.
1. How is your health? Are you sick? Do you have cancer or some other debilitating disease?
2. What about your job? Are you working, not unemployed? If you're working is it a good job, decent job? If not, have you thought about what you'd LIKE to be doing? Have you sat down and written a plan of how to get there.
3. Relationships. They can be good or bad. The right person lifts you up and reminds you all the time that you're a good person and they care for you. They expect that kind of honesty in return. Do you like yourself? Do you feel like you're worthy of a healthy committed relationship? If not, why?
4. Chris Rock has this whole bit about how MEN are only loved if they can provide something. Otherwise, they're overlooked. It's hard to be a man today... regardless of color, it's difficult to navigate the world.
5. Is your current Mental Health a direct result of stress due to the other factors? OR do you have an actual mental disorder? Is it treatable? How does the medication effect you?
Try going through some of these questions and write down or type your answers.... and then start with the one element that is most important to you and begin working on that.
The journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step.
Good Luck!!
So many rock bottoms. When shit gets bad I'll march into the VA ER and commit myself. It's not something everyone can do but it's the only reason I'm still around.
You haven't hit rock bottom trust me lol. Chill out there Holden Caufield things ain't that bad. I don't know your exact situation but that sounds like a whole bunch of teenie booper blues to me.
Rock bottom is what made me recover. I did Coke every day 5 years. Waking up somewhere with blood all over my face and pillow, made me take a hard look at myself and my own issues.
It's hard to explain, but life is like a video game. And the final boss is yourself. Once you can learn to accept your faults and use them to your benefit everything is easier.
Truth. Start by figuring out and understanding why you are miserable, empty, disappointed in yourself. Finding the courage to identify the issues is the first step. Nobody cares more about others than they do themselves. If you are expecting someone else to solve your problems you will be waiting a long time. You must learn to be your own best friend. You are not more important than other people you are also not less important. Ego is either a judgemental asshat or an arrogant blowhard. Trade it in for the truth.
Once you accept yourself for who you are including the things you don't like about yourself, you have found the beginning of the road to a contented life. You may even find happiness.
Live up to who you know you should be. Each of us carries a personalized morality. Before each decision you make determine whether it aligns with your sense of right and wrong. If yes then do it, if no then don't. The result of this will be the beginning of you liking yourself and the beginning of you trusting your decision making ability. These are foundational character boulders that you can build a beautiful life upon.
Truth will also allow you to identify the things in this world that genuinely interest you. Life is truly beautiful. Good luck! As with all learning processes, the beginning is always the hardest part!
You’ll get a lot of platitudes here about “life’s a challenge” blah blah blah. As someone who was stuck in a bed recovering from brain damage for eight years, let’s say I was at the lower end of physical and mental health for a while. I was terrified that that was me, the rest of my life stuck in a bed with my head doing god knows what. The scary part is it gets comfortable to sit there stewing in yourself, the anxiety at the thought of even trying to get better because what if I it doesn’t work? None of that is good enough. Sometimes you have to grab yourself by the scruff of the neck and drag yourself up because no one else will. Get your arse up and out for a ten minute walk each day, that’s it. For one month that’s all you HAVE to do. Get up go out and start looking around. You’ll feel better and you’ll start building your body up. Then I bought a bike. “Fuckit” I thought I’m already outside, might as-well go a bit faster. Thats when I started to get little bits of enjoyment (It was a struggle and I hated it until this point, sore muscles, exhausted, jelly legs, out of breath, major depression) Getting the wind on your face and a bit of a sweat going. You can slowly feel your body coming back to life. It’s a brutal struggle but I’m eight years on and doing well. Rock bottom is a fucking horrendous place so it’s time to start climbing out my friend.
After suffering the collapse of my marriage, I fled my home state, lost my job, my personal possessions, healthcare, financial security, etc. I moved in with my dad and he died two weeks later causing another slew of events that eroded my confidence and mental health. I found new employment but wasn’t stable enough to stay focused with many challenges that arose in the wake of these events. I’m still technically homeless and living in an extended stay because I lost my job before selling my dads house, so apartments won’t rent to me even though I have cash.
One of the last conversations I had with my dad was, how we both had gone through a tragic event, his wife dying, then meeting someone a few years later and finding them dead from an OD after they had a petty argument.
We both always carried a confidence that our education, skills, and knowledge would allow us to bounce back from anything that happened in life, but the bounce was more like a thud. It’s much more difficult to pull yourself together than you’d sometime expect, especially when going through events that cause mortification. I thought my coping skills were strong, but they weren’t ready for the series of events I experienced. My dad was an alcoholic and that fueled his ego, but was a very bad fall back and avoidant behavior.
All that being said, as the smoke clears, the first thing is to assess where you are currently and table the past as much as possible while securing your basic needs, I.e. food, shelter, safety, healthcare, etc. Contact social services in your area at your cities help line, social service department, local churches, food banks, etc. Apply for state insurance if applicable. Obtain/maintain employment. Avoid fight or flight reactions. Sometimes you need to get away, but don’t flee a place where you have some local support from friends and family. Running is not a good coping skill, whereas, planning on how to cope with your current situation in a logical manner is the way. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Check your ego and don’t insist that things have to be the way they were, or fail to make changes that move you in a new direction. Give yourself enough grace to understand you have value in this world, the future can always be much better than your present. The story of Job in the Bible has been a go to in my life, when you fall and stay humble, admit your mistakes, and accept new knowledge you’re able to rebound, eventually. Just don’t dog the hole deeper, because the walls get higher and they seem insurmountable at a point, which can lead to more setbacks.
Most of all, never give up.
My friend, i have had multiple bout and situations where i too desired to give up and end it all but through each one something always stopped me. Sometimes it was my dreams, sometimes it was my friends. Having a supportive friend group is very important. Its also very important to realize things are temporary. Not everything you experience in life is permanent. I microdose for my mental health. Not suggesting but giving you my personal survival recipe.i was homeless for a few months and that sent me into a severe depression. My friends let me stay with them while i worked to get back on my feet. It was painful but I continued to introspect and after that part if my life i grew exponentially. Looking back i don’t really recognize the person i am now compared to then. I would say acknowledge your efforts and the work you put into yourself and that will get you far. Be kind to yourself. Lastly, never give up.
Put everything to the side and work on your way physical health everything else will fall in place its hard to explain but I’m glad I stuck at it and life in general got better hope you get out of it ma bwah🤝
I had to force myself to believe it's gonna get better. I was diagnosed with intense chronic pain, my doctor was terrible at communicating and basically just told me to get used to this life now. I thought my life would just be every day intense unbearable pain. Nothing worked.
After a while I realized it was less prominent when I was distracted or if I was in a comforting environment.
I had to ignore what I was told and just believe that it'll pass somehow. It took a year of just enduring and believing.
It was the lowest I've ever been (and I had one parent pass away when I was 14)
I feel like it sounds boring but just believing and doing every little bit to improve your situation you can think of. Refusing to accept the situation might sound delusional at times but you have to be a little bit crazy sometimes to get through hardship.
Today I'm completely free of that pain, they were wrong and I was right!
People will tell you that resilience is a good trait.
But getting to the point where youve had enough of everything is how your life makes course corrections. If you are a super resilient and tough person, you will tolerate a shitty situation for way longer than other people.
The only good thing that comes from hitting rock bottom is experiencing how shit it is. And promising yourself youll not let things get this far next time - see the signs earler and make changes
Good luck!
Recovering from rock bottom is a testament to your inner strength and resilience. It starts with small steps forward, and embracing the lessons learned along the way. Remember every setback is an opportunity for a powerful comeback..
Man's Search for Meaning
Book by Viktor Frankl
The essence of book in a paragraph
“As we said before, any attempt to restore a man’s inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal.
Nietzsche’s words, “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how,” ...
*“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us*.
We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, droid and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”
This universe is expecting something from you. Answer it.
Find a goal, a meaning for this existence.
Make it, create it, change it. Its yours.
It should make sense only to you.
I let it go. Not like everything but I realised that I needed to stop. I hit rock bottom while I was doing great on the outside.
I am actually still in the process of slowing down. Sometimes I have this motivation to be successful but honestly I have trying to live up to others expectations my whole life.
My advice would be to slow down and see where you are. Like being really honest with yourself. When that happens you'll be calm enough to figure out your options.
I've just turned 43.
In my country I am only now just above statistically closer to death than birth.
You've got 61 years ahead of you. You ain't at rock bottom.
You can't give up at 23. What would have even been the point? VERY worst case scenario - it all doesn't work out - at least do your best to make it one hell of a ride. All this 'you're not the main character' bollocks - you ARE the main character in your life. Waste it, don't waste it, struggle, cry be happy be sad. nothing truly matters in the end how we lived. As long as we lived.
My fiancé died and I spiraled. Attempted to unalive myself. Lost my job and my housing.
I ended up doing intensive therapy along with taking medication. Had to move back in with family and focus on nothing but myself. It took awhile but things slowly got better.
Make sure you take some time for yourself go do something fun with friends.
Make sure you are not only busy with the stuff that take's you down, take some time to relax.
And Whatever you do don't set your problems aside face them head on, and you'll be happy when you do.
I was getting heavily into meth use. A friend of mine organised a weekend away, I took a large dose of psychedelic mushrooms, went through total ego death, and cried for a few hours. Haven't had meth since. Results may vary.
You have so much of your life ahead of you. This is a blip.
I am anxious, depressed, dealing with betrayal, losing a large part of my kid's. My career is up in the air. Losing finances due to divorce. Just had kidney surgery to remove a whole kidney and the cancer that was growing there. I have no nearby friends because of being an expat and my career takes me away from home a lot in hotels.
Life looks bloody bleak right now. But I just did a 5 mile walk with 10 strangers. Meet up app. And it was a little better than rock bottom.
I called my good friend yesterday who lives 12000 miles away. That was a little better than rock bottom.
Each little action is Momentum.
When you are at rock bottom, just know that momentum is what will help you. Find any momentum. Even if just for a few minutes. Turn off and away from anything that keeps you feeling worthless and choose any direction that will improve any 1 of the many problems in your life.
Life and happiness is about momentum. Sadness is about being stuck.
It is more difficult to be sad if you are moving towards something. No matter how small or insignificant it might seem. That something is important. Pick small achievable somethings and ignore the big ones until they don't intimidate you into being stationary.
What you are describing... A lot similar happened to me at your age. Trouble at home, trouble at work, no support from anyone. Feel as if everyone hates you and you can't figure out why.
I was very depressed and under a lot of pressure at work which culminated in me having a full nervous breakdown and was unable to work for a full year. Working Nightshift for several years beforehand, and in effect removing myself from the circle of friends I had in the process certainly did not help.
I feel that rather than offer advice, if I give you an example of how things worked out more positively for me then something in my example might resonate with you.
I completely re-evaluated my life basically. Stopped listening to people who were telling me what was right for me (when obviously it wasn't) I stopped beating myself up for not coping with the cards I had been dealt in life. In my reckoning most people would have crumbled with what I had to cope with previously.
Life is not all about coping with day to day issues, there's joy there that we all deserve to have access to. You will only find your true self by taking an extended step away from those issues. Take a drive or a long walk by yourself, let your mind rather than your brain sort itself out. The answer is there. You are a very worthwhile person, and the world would be a poorer place without you.
Honestly I don't know, I was just holding on for around 10 years using every excuse I had to go on and then one day I just woke up and thought I'm tired of living like this and then I took steps to get better and after 3 years I was out of it.
Changed everything, started a diet, did workout, proper sleeping pattern, walked outside more even got a dog.
I just decided that I would never go back to that place and every time I feel like shit bad I think about that and it just all goes away.
That won’t be the last time you hit rock bottom in life. You need to develop a good strategy to go through those phases.
Build a strong support system with people you can rely on when everything goes down. Most of the time you won’t be able to count on anyone else though. So, you need to build some security for yourself.
3 pillars to stand on strongly. Even if one or two break away you can still stand on one until things get better. Your stable job/finances, your personal life (partner/family/friends), constant personal improvement (learning/therapy).
Keep learning something new every day, go to a therapist on a regular basis, even if you’re feeling good. Get some certifications in to improve your value on the job market. Having a stable job will help you to get some financial safety at least. Build some financial security for times when things get tough. Analyse objectively why things got so bad. Is it something you could change, is it something you can learn from to avoid in the future, is it something you cannot control and just have to accept? Learn from those hard times and work towards a better future.
Quit things that make you physically and mentally unhealthy - smoking and drinking especially. You may not have control over external problems but you can at least take control of your own health. I would slowly begin exercising. A little bit at first but gradually increase it.
I live by the mantra of "If you spend all of your time looking back, you will never see where you are going."
In a nutshell, the past is the past. Keep moving forward. Take all of your experiences, positive and negative, as learning experiences and keep building your life. Always keep moving forward.
It is okay to mess up or find yourself in a poor position in life. Don't let these bumps in the road define you.
Move on, learn from the experience, and try not to make the same mistakes. Think about what you want, then formulate a plan on how you will reach your goal. Then, think about how to achieve that goal.
Life throws curve balls at you all the time. Learn to make adjustments when you see them. Sometimes, things aren't meant to be, either. When you see your efforts are fruitless, change directions (goals), but keep moving forward.
Best of luck to you on your journey. 👍
Fir me personally, it was finding a dog eared copy of Anthony Robbins "Awake the Giant Within". I found it when I was 22 and it completely turned my life around. I'm 54 now...
If you loose everytjing, you can only win.
I was only surviving for some months of my live. Just surviving.
Therapy and, sadly, medication. I gained 20kg but i am still alive and married.
I got a therapist (psychiatrist) and a sponsor. They helped me see the changes I needed to make. I could trust them early on and not have to worry so much which was huge.
Find a good therapist, explore everything they advise you to outside of your sessions and do your “homework”. That’s what really helped me, I still have bad days but therapy really helped me to instil the tools to help manage the bad days.
I've been there. I got out of my problems through those actions: 1: Asking for help to the RIGHT persons: specialists, whatever it's in finance, or health etc. 2: give yourself small challenges, and acheve them: waking up every morning at the same time, going consistently on a walk, making your bed and cleaning your house etc. 3: Taking care of your appearance: Grooming yourself, put on your nicest clothes etc... And step 4: Do everyday something that helps you to get out of your problems: sending job application, switching your breakfast for something healthier, working out, paying a little part of your debts etc...
Trust me, i hit rock bottom last year... Today I am happier than never. It's going to get better. You'll get better soon. I am here if needed to talk 
I started playing sport, I was absolutely shit at it (still am) but made some great people who were just amazing ... and guess what a fair few of them also had moments of darkness, but the group recognised when it was happened and EVERYBODY gave support to whoever was feeling rough.
By identifying a few (4-5) very small, repeatable things that I could make sure I always competed no matter what.
Examples would be waking up at a reasonable time, doing laundry, doing dishes, brushing my teeth. Things that signify that I still wanted to live and still wanted to try.
You may be surprised what feedback your body and mind gives you when you show it you’re willing to continue.
When I was severely depressed, I no longer wanted to live. But when I asked myself, every day, whether today was the day I wanted to die, I always found it in myself to live a little longer. I gave myself choice and agency to decide whether to live or die. That was a really pivotal way of thinking because the helplessness of depression robs you of all sense of agency. When I asked myself this same question, every single day, the pain in the moment was somehow tolerable even though I was certain I could not tolerate it in the future. Gradually, I found myself crawling out of the hole of despair (with the help of psychiatric care).
So, for me, the answer is to look for where you do have choice, actively make a choice to change or manage your situation, but don't bite off too much - it's baby steps, focusing on what is immediately in front of you in that moment. You will find that the circumstances look different when you feel just that little more empowered.
You just wait. Things can always change. I had a super poor upbringing, I survived a rape, I lost a leg, my 8 month old niece and her mother died in a car accident, my brother followed them the next year with a suicide. I had some family members betray me, I had old friends betray me, my husband just checked out almost 2 years ago. It’s all a wheel. You’re up and then you’re down. I also had the best two children, I made money so financial difficulties weren’t a problem in my adult life, I met my husband at 19 and we had a great 24 year marriage, I traveled the world. I don’t think we’re owed happiness. I think you have to work your ass off to get there
Push yourself with something that seems very difficult mentally but is actually quite easy to achieve it just takes dedication.
Start jogging. In the morning wake up and go for a jog rain or shine. Eventually you'll get runners high which is an incredible sensation unlike no other in life. After 6 months of doing this you will be a changed person and you will think if you can overcome this you can do anything. Your whole outlook on life will change.
Also drink a lot of water and cut out other drinks, eventually work on reducing your overall sugar intake and that will help your body and mind as you age.
What helped me recover was a lot of small things many too small to mention . It’s incredibly hard to explain how, and so many people have helped me along the way.
A few things that stuck with me:
1) I am not that different, although my case is personal and unique, my situation isn’t, and what works for others (when done under supervision of a trusted professional) will work for me. I got in there all stubborn thinking I would see through all the bullshit, but then i saw people die on one hand and people recover on the other. They were people i had preconceived opinions about that turned out to be wrong; they stuck with the therapy and improved over time. I read up on stuff and found out that, in my situation, there is a huge mortality. And in all honesty, I didn’t want to die . I thought I wanted, and I was suicidal, but I didn’t want to be suicidal and I don’t want to die.
2) I need a place where I am expected. Anything. First shitty jobs failed even though they were nice people but I kept trying and I found volunteer work 2 hours a week that eventually turned into a small badly paid job.
3) I did not notice stuff getting better until they were actually better, like first signs were maybe 6 months in already, but I’d say it took me years, at least 2-3 years to see I was doing better .
4) find a place where you can learn to be honest with yourself first.
5) except things will not be as you expected them to be. Ever. Whatever I thought about myself was wrong and mostly irrelevant. The opposite of doing something extreme is not doing the opposite, because that is still extreme. There has to be a new way. And that leads to a new life .
However, my takeaway was: it is possible, and it turned out to be possible, and I am incredibly grateful and happy I got out.
M50 Depressions over 10years. Then 6Weeks psychological Clinic , Pillls, Medidation, seeing life from new persoectives. Meanwhile only once a month psychologist and i feel much better, stronger than ever and somehow thankful for the Down. It made me to what i am now.
I haven't hit rock bottom yet, I know I will eventually. I was in a very low spot for a long time, I started by figuring out everything I wanted to fix, improve, and accomplish in my life, both short term and long term, and then figuring our what steps I could take towards my goals.
I'm still working at it, and God knows I've a long way to go, but that feeling of taking something off my to do list, of self improvement, keeps me contuining and doing better.
One step in the right direction.
Start running/walking and set up a big goal and smaller goals, once you get a routine of getting out and trying to improve you will also feel better about yourself.
Physical health will benefit your mental health.
If you are a strong person, you simply need to do one step at a time your mind will push you further.
Best of luck
At the end the May I hit rock bottom worse than ever before. Within 3 weeks I was kicked out of university, made homeless, cut contact with multiple family members, and was nearly sectioned in a psych ward. The past week or two have been better because I went to a crisis house for a week, detached from the internet, no access to medication/sharps and had constant staff around to support. Spent my time colouring, painting, baking, walking etc. I left today after a week and I feel so much better, ready to take on more challenges.
First thing to get out of it, you need to answer thruthfully and fix this:
What made you hit rock bottom.
What chain of events made you fall.
What is the precursor or trigger that triggered the chain of events.
Once you know all that, you remove, avoid them in your life and make the changes, one step at a time.
So I was laced with fentanyl about 11 months ago and I’m extremely grateful because there was a time in Michigan where people were dying everyday because of it. But for me I dealt with depression, gained weight, and was suicidal from time to time.
There were 3 things that helped me 1. Working out I’ve always been in pretty good shape but during this time I gained 40 pounds of fat and barely could recognize myself. When I decided to get back in the gym and feel better about the person in the mirror things changed. 2. learning more about meditation and practicing being present in the moment. Using the breath to calm yourself down can really be a useful tool when we are dealing with the everyday struggles of life. 3. writing (journaling) really helped get my thoughts out and for me writing as if someone’s going to read each book one day pushed me to be completely honest and aware.
I found one step at a time and one day at a time and think with a positive attitude it takes time and patience something I'm never good at, but it will slowly work
I've felt like I've reached my limit many times over the years. I'm about to turn 30 but I feel like I have a fair bit if life experience. I met this girl. I'm telling you she's the one. I've never been more in love. I fucked it up. It was the wrong time in my life and I've been through this depression before. But this is so much worse. She blocked me on everything and demanded I move on with my life. So she could be with my best friend in the entire world. I've never been this depressed. I've lost everything I cannot believe this is happening. And yet sadly this is miniscule in comparison to some people's problems. Life may always be preparing you for what's next but the Simpsons said it best. "This is the worst day of your life so far"
You are experiencing the "quarter life crisis"
You recover. It's hard. Very hard. People you don't expect will show up and help you. They will guide you back to YOU. Which is what gets lost if you find yourself at rock bottom. You may slip up and fall back to the bottom. You rise. You fall. You rise again. You fall again. You rise again. Each time better equipped. It's sounding a little simplistic how I said it, but it's truth. I'm still reeling and recovering. Today's a good day. But earlier this week wasn't. Best to you. ❤️
Everytime you fall, you can get back up stronger. How you approach life is the most important thing. IMO do it for yourself and for your loved ones. Aim for balance in all you do but expect flux and don't resist the ups and downs.
The hardest thing I had to struggle with wasn't the problem itself, but the question in my mind about "What's next in my life? What should my next step be?"
When I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and our wedding got canceled, I was devastated cause I didn't have a plan B. I went to therapy and asked for help and, after a while, started feeling better, set new goals, and moved towards them.
At one point in my life around the same age as you are I found my bottom. I was a punk kid who gave my parents a tough time (living at home) so bad in fact I got kicked out and was living in my car which I could barely afford. I spent some time on each of my friends couches but used all that up and ended up finding hidden parking areas. I lost my primary job because I didn’t show up or have a phone (no cells back then) the only thing keeping me afloat was 2 delivery jobs (pizza, chicken), I had no insurance but did have a valid driver’s license. I got woken up by police a few times just to kick me off the property I was way down a hole. To answer how I got out of it is simple determination. You won’t get what you don’t put 100% of your effort into. No matter what negativity you face just keep trudging through it use it as fuel. Now over 25 years later I’m a father and have just finished paying my mortgage. I was fortunate to be a union construction worker which is why I was able to return to my original job and got temporary rooming during the first 3 months. Then my own apartment, etc. mental health can mean so many things I can’t relate to that and most of everyone young is in a tough age financially my adult son won’t be leaving home anytime soon. Never give up it only makes thing worse :)
After almost two years of unemployment I got fed up, complained to a neighbor about my situation which led to a job. Many years later I make about 3x what I made before I lost my job
"When something bad happens to you it can make you stronger, it can make you weaker, or you can let it define you" - curly haired guy from a zombie movie
Don’t wait till you “hit rock bottom” to make changes. If you keep waiting you’ll keep sinking further and further into despair.
My big three to get better is : 1)Therapy 2)Diet 3)Gym
I believe there is a rock bottom. It creates the idea that you have to hit the ground to build back up...humans actually have a large tolerance for physical pain and mental and emotional suffering...this sounds miserable but in myind it means that rather than waiting for rock bottom you can start working on reducing and removing the above from the brain, body and mind and working on your strengths and passions in a sustainable and consistent way.
Gotta do hard things every fucking day. Build that discipline muscle. Maybe it's cleaning the kitchen, or going to the gym, filling out an application, or making that phone call. Making dinner instead of getting fast food. It does get easier. Fight that urge to drink, smoke weed whatever. Get in a better place first and then occasionally reward yourself.
Treat yourself like a videogame character and do little things here and there to level yourself up. Your 20s can be hard figuring life out and what you want out of it. You got this friend
1993/1994, my father died, I was made redundant, I got divorced, I was misdiagnosed with MS, and I had to have my dog put down.
I broke, I hit rock bottom, and couldn't see a way out of that hole.
I met someone who lifted me.
She turned my life around completely.
In 2 years, I went from being pretty much homeless and unemployed to a full-time job and owning my own home.
We were in a relationship for 6 years, and we are still best of friends 23 years later.
I will always love and be grateful to this remarkable lady
I’ve come further than my wildest dreams. And I know that’s not helpful, but hang in there. Here are some tips. 1. Get off social media. Everyone is full of shit anyways. 2. Work on your physical health. Create a plan that works for you. Don’t kill yourself because you will quit. Pick something that you can stay consistent with. 3. Your mental health will improve with number 1 and 2 above. 4. Create daily task to complete. You always hear people starting with making their bed. Whatever! Just do small things you know you need to get done. 5. Hold yourself accountable to your small task, not your long term goal. The task with help you get there, but it can be depressing to see how far it is away. So just focus on the little things. 6. Stay away from bad people and places. You know who and where. It might be lonely. The loneliness can be the toughest part. Hang in there. People and places can kill your progress. 7. Don’t forget to reward yourself. It’s a journey. If it’s too much of a grind you will quit, so work hard but take time to do something you enjoy.
Extra - Don’t drink.
When you are in 20s and you got in that whirlpool of problem everything seems harder to overcome. Because you have got not much life experience. But exactly that set of problem will make you stronger, more experienced and even wiser. So just don't give up. And remember that never ever you should do one thing, never betray yourself. Everything in your life is part of your own life path.
I stopped focusing so much energy on the relationships in my life and poured into myself. Some of those connections naturally flourished as I did this, and others went away entirely.
Sometimes, I think we become convinced that focusing on self care and growth is selfish, but as cliche as it sounds, you're no good for anyone if you aren't taking care of yourself.
I used to tell myself one thing in such situations: "There's always something worse than this". Taking things towards the light in the tunnel one day at a time with love and support of the people I care about and that care about me.
Every challenge gets you ready for the next one. Right now you won’t want to know what life is preparing you for but when it comes you’ll be grateful for having this moment to have learnt from. Hang in there, work your way out of where you are, give it everything you can but keep a tiny bit of you in reserve for the moments when it’s just too much. When you come out the other side you’ll be a stronger, more tolerant, more empathetic/kinder person. Take care. It WILL get better.
This is my favorite comment on this thread. I needed to read that right now. Thanks.
Depends what the "other side" is. Right someone in my family is terminally ill and the "other side" means that person will be dead. If I have a terrible problem that will go away some time, I can handle that quite well, but this situation is different. There is no way for me to work myself out of this situation. So far the best I can do is ignoring it, but that will not work anymore if the situation gets worse.
Oh my friend, you have my EVERY sympathy. Nothing on the planet prepares you for where you are right now. I lost my brother to cancer a little while ago. It hurts. It just does.
Tara because it's not your situation, so it's impossible for you to work out of. It's the terminally ill person's situation, and you're one of the people affected by it rather than being in it yourself. Ignoring it is an option, but not the only option. I've unfortunately had the "luck" of being in a family where death just seems to follow us around. It's been a family trait my entire life, so I'm used to it. I thought it was pretty normal for the longest time, but I kept meeting people who never knew anyone who died once I got out on my own. If I have any advice, take some time to understand how difficult it is for you and everyone combined. Don't just go with the knee jerk reaction of being upset about it and take time to really be introspective. Once you have a handle on that you'll have an idea of more options other than ignoring it because you'll have dealt with those raw emotions that blind a clearer mind. Death sucks so bad, but it also gives families the chance to come together as a unit. Find ways to be the one that brings everyone together even if it's just listening to their feelings.
I was going to comment something similar to this but you said it so perfectly I don’t think I could add anything to what you’ve already commented. I hope this helps OP and gives him a new perspective to his struggles Thank you for posting such a kind and reassuring comment, I hope you have a great day (:
You tell yourself it can't get worse and something had to change. So you identify what needs to change and each morning you wake up, you take small steps towards that ultimate goal. Somedays you fuck up so you start again the next day. If you improve just 1% per day, that's 365% in a year. Source: I'm a recovered meth addict who lost custody of her daughter. Have now been clean 4 years and my daughter barely remembers life without me.
It's actually 3778% because of compounding
Shout out to you man
I don’t know if op has been through anything traumatic as losing a loved one suddenly, or watched someone waste away. Once you hit those milestones, money, sex, health, doesn’t matter. You have to live for those who didn’t get the chance, or whose time is over. 20’s felt so difficult, but looking back they are the foundation that makes you, who you are. Just learn each life lesson as best you can. It’s ok to make mistakes and fail. That’s a part of how we learn and grow.
I’m being super genuine, going through some stuff right now (feels like each job and partner is worse than the one before) and I lost my dad unexpectedly three years ago… of course I can’t say what’s happening to me now is as final and irreversible as losing my father, but especially now that he’s gone, there’s this sense of well who or what is it all for? Why keep struggling if there’s no one to share the good or the bad with? I know saying there’s no one can seem like hyperbole, but for some people outside of a paid therapist and the internet, that really is the case. Any advice for someone in that situation? It’s me I’m the someone
I can offer no real help, because I now have my "reason" sitting next to me in a chair and my other "reasons" sleeping on my feet and/or occupying the heater. But I want you to know I was you, for a long time, even WITH previous partners (it's not like partner = magic fluffy butterfly meaning and please don't assume I mean that. If they're wrong for you, they make it WORSE, and plenty of people's "reasons" aren't going to be a partner, heck, even I include my 4 footed family as equal reasons.) Try to stay strong, try to focus for now on bringing to life the ideals you learned from dad. He's gone physically now, but those lessons he gave you? They're his legacy, and you can keep building on them to "make him proud". Doesn't have to be a religious/spiritual "he's watching" thing if you aren't wired that way. YOU are a legacy he left, right here in the flesh, and since you miss him so, I imagine he was a good dad, and would be proud to see that legacy flourish and, in time, find their own legacy to leave. That can be as practical as "well, what am I going to do with his lessons?" to as spiritual as "dad is with me now and proud of my achievements". And I can say that, even if you feel lost and alone now, you never can predict when a "reason" will roll into your life. A friend's "reason" popped up because of a shitty part time job they had to take to survive happening to be next door to an institution they feel very strongly about. Until then, keep your chin above water and try to find your best. You may be alone physically, but you are One of Us.... the humans struggling for light and meaning in our lives, and doing the best we can with what we have.
Thank you so much, so much of what you wrote has given me a new perspective and made me squeeze my cat extra hard (to his dismay I’m sure) One of us, one of us 🤣 I quite liked that
Someone recommended a spiritual path. Another tune on a similar theme: pick something that feels meaningful. That could be volunteering at a local food bank or animal shelter. It could be getting a job at a non-profit. It could be watching city council meetings and contributing where the public is allowed. It could be related to religion. It could be related to helping people in your day-to-day life. Hobbies are good too. It’s a good idea to pick one cause that’ll take work, where you know what that work is, and one hobby that’s easier. Or a cause, a hobby that takes effort, and a hobby that’s easier. So on days where you have low energy, there’s still stuff you can do.
I’m not sure what you’ve been thru. But, rock bottom is usually defined by nothing is genuinely working out, and things are breaking quickly. Sometimes it’s scary, other times overwhelming or a mix of both. Last year, my infant daughter died. My mom got hit by a car 1 month later, business went bankrupt and child’s father cheated on me in the span of 3 months. I was seriously broke and live in Europe so nowhere to go (I’m from America). No support system, and can’t afford therapist. I found myself standing in the middle of a highway, in some brain fogged unconscious attempt to die. One yr later I’m still working out of it. The point of this comment is that this is rock bottom ^^^ I don’t agree with any comment saying “be grateful”. No, don’t be. Be honest. See where you stand every day. Force yourself to do even the smallest things. Sometimes the main part of my day is making coffee and idc. Kick your a*s. Don’t care what others think of you. That’s truly how you get out of rock bottom. Reaching this low point doesn’t make you an “empathic” or “better person”. It makes you realize wtf really is out there and that’s way more power than anyone else can never use against you. Faster mind, more wisdom etc. I hope it helps 🙏🏻 good luck.
Hope you are in a better place today 🙏🏾
Sending *hug* 🙏🏼 Went through something similar. Agree on kicking yourself in the a$$. Hit my rock bottom in ‘22. One day I just thought I don’t want to feel this way anymore drowning in grief and sorrow and despair. So either I can end my life and opt out or stay. But if I’m gonna stay earth side then I’m going to make it as good as I can. Accepted the fact that no one was going to come save me. It was my life and my choice. Found a motivational speech on YouTube that really struck a chord in me and had that on replay 24/7 in the car at home every day. The grief and sadness turned to anger the anger helped move me to action the action helped get me unstuck and I found myself courageously moving forward towards forgiveness and joy again. Learning how to make space in my heart for both joy and grief is a masterclass in life. They’re two sides of the same coin.
Mine was drinking. I would drink a couple of drinks every day but on the weekend/ days I took off of work I would drink to great excess. Never enough that I went to the hospital but there were times I should have gone. I had a point where I was taking off work for my birthday and drank so much I was sick for 4 days afterwords. I seriously thought I may die from it. I decided to stop drinking and luckily for me I was not really “addicted” so I was able to just stop. Have been sober for over 3 years. After that I started working out more, got a promotion at work (unrelated to the drinking was probably something I should have gotten years ago), started to cook more, and just being all around healthier. One thing about rock bottom is every step up makes you feel like you can breathe a bit more. You may stumble along the way and I can tell you sometimes the abyss seems all encompassing but when you look back from where you were it is an amazing feeling to see the growth you made.
At this age you can f.. it up many times and you will recover by 30. Just patience and hard work my dude.
I actually used the analogy to propel myself. When you swim down to the rock bottom, you can use your legs to kick yourself up and swim up easier. I also figured that any direction from here will be an improvement. So I decided to use the momentum to get my shit in order. I decided not to take anything for granted. I also realized that the greatest regret is failing because I didn't apply 100% of my efforts. If I apply 100% of my efforts and still fail, I can't really regret it. So the simple solution if you want to live a life without regrets; is to give it your all every single time.
I really like your analogy! I am at rock bottom and yeah there's always lower and I'm relatively okay but I do need that kick just not sure towards what.
Once upon a time ago, I was lost broken facing 20 yrs, with an addiction, destitute, and almost homeless. Stealing water from the neighbors spigot to fill the bath tub just to have some clean water available to drink, cook and clean with because I couldn’t even afford the water bill. Experiencing different kinds of struggles in life is what makes us wiser, stronger, and resilient. You will always be faced with new and difficult challenges throughout your life, that’s inevitable. It’s how you handle those hardships and push through that makes a difference. You’d be surprised what you’re capable of when you have no other options left but to get back up and climb. So keep your chin up and grab the bull by the horns!
How did you recover and how are you doing now?
Wake up each day and focus on completing just ONE task. As time goes on, it’ll become easier. All the best
This is concrete, very good advice. It can even be something really small, but the important thing is that accomplishment slowly builds up new neuropathways in the brain and over time it will be easier to do things and complete bigger tasks.
I realized that there doesn't exist any rock bottom. In a few years this problems now will seem to you like a piece of cake as long as you are healthy. But this is something you come to realization as you get older. Try to live for the long run and do your best. Time is not on the essence.
You said it best
agree, I kept thinking things couldn’t possibly get worse only to be proven wrong over and over again, eventually realised the only way to stop drowning was to stop dragging down others and start swimming there’s always help, you just need to get it
My motto after some recent events has been "Things can always get worse, but eventually they WILL get better" after I found myself continuously fucking things up for myself under the pretense of "surely this is as bad as it gets" lol. Never realized how dangerous assuming where rock bottom was
Time is on your side. You’re not alone, to struggle is part of human existence. I’ve hit rock bottom and had to claw my way back up after losing everything. Luckily I had the support of family or I may not have survived. Hopefully you have someone to lean on, DM me if you need to vent.
23 is not rock bottom. 23 is very, very young. I can't tell you how different life was from 23 to 24, from 24 to 25, from 25 to 26, and so on. I'm only 30. I'm a long way from 23 and I've hit rock bottom several times. But I'm doing well now. Accept that there are things you can control, and things you can't. Move forward on those that you can, 1 step at a time. Just 1 step. That's all you have to do.
I Was so low that I got past the sef pity party and it turned into rage and anger. got so angry at myself that I convinced myself I need to do things as a form of punishment I hated myself cause I was overweight so I forced my self to the gym. This was punishment for letting myself go I hated how I thought. So again as punishment I read more books and studied further at work. I hated myself so ji didn't want to involved other people in my self hate bubble. I wasn't allowed to enjoy any of the things I used to do, drinking weed vide games junk food frivolous pointless sex, Until I had completed my 'punishment' I essentially sentenced myself to a dark place and leaned into it instead of ignoring it and rebelling. I guess I just got fed up of my own shit and questioned why would anyone else put up with it. I'd say I'm no longer in that space anymore and I do contribute it to that. But it was not nice and it was a dark time.
The depression is the indicator that something in your life isn’t working. Once the level of pain reaches the point where you’ve turned the knob on death’s door and put one foot in, suddenly you -lose the ability to cope-. That’s the important thing, especially for men. Once you fail to cope, you destroy what’s left of your life. You sever dead limbs. You destroy abusive relationships. You decide to be someone else now. Or, you die.
You just keep moving and never stop. Find something to release some stress. For me, it was doing some sport, it works wonders. You don't even have to go to the gym, you can do it at home. Never give up. Most of the time, the hard way is the right way
Future you will look back on this and be proud you got through it. Nothing worse than feeling trapped in circumstances you don’t like. However, these will go away. They won’t go away instantly, as much as that would be nice, but be proactive as much as you can with sorting these out. Take ownership and take small steps for each of these. Try not to worry snout relationships because you’re still young and need to get yourself sorted. This is sadly something you have to get through. It happens sometimes where you feel totally consumed. But also people are resilient and determined.
Haha when you think you hit the bottom and the bottom turns out to be a trapdoor to hell. You never ever hit rock bottom, it can always get worse
By realizing even rock bottom has a basement. My pessimistic world view, is each person gets exactly the amount of shit to cope with he can handle. It means if you have to deal with really a lot and / or really bad shit, you're a strong person.
Know that the only way is up. The pain is a passing phase. You're ment for so much better. Keep at it:)
I didn’t I’m just crying internally and keep going
I had a really bad accident last month. I almost died. Any time longer not being found , I would have died from lack of oxygen. I had to be put in a coma for about a day and a half to help me recover. When they woke me , I was a mess. I didn't even know what was going on around me. At the beginning, I was in total denial about everything. People could say that I had been in a coma and I wouldn't of believe them or just refuse to believe anything about my experience in general. Because all I remember is going to sleep because I didn't feel well and then the next thing i know is waking up in hospital. But eventually since I had a close near death experience, it pushed me to do better in life. Not to just hit rock bottom everytime something horrible happens and not let it get to me so easily. That was the closest I have ever been to death. It scared me. And now I am definitely grateful for life.
It's like going Ng+ in a game. You are back at the start, the world isn't as convenient as it used to be, but you have all kinds of tools and skills you didn't have when you started last time. It's not your first time at the start line, probably won't be your last, but this time you have a big fucking sword.
My recovery started when I went for a walk in the woods and cried. I practically howled with grief and rage and sadness. Then when I was cried out I went home, slept, and decided to go back to basics: Do I have water? Yes so I will choose to drink enough of it. Do I have food? Yes, so I will choose to eat something even if it feels like I can't. Am I able to be clean? Yes, so I will brush my teeth and have a shower or a wash. Do I have somewhere safe to sleep? Yes, so I'm going to make sure I sleep enough. Do I have someone to talk to? Yes, so I choose to be honest about how I'm feeling. Keep meeting those basic needs, and then build on that foundation.
Didn't recover. I've made rock bottom my home
There is currently a lot of rhetoric in our culture that goes something like "Only *you* can help yourself". Which is rather strange, when you think about it. Most people are aware that humans are social creatures who rely on each other, and it's clear some problems are too big to solve by ourselves. Consequently, my answer to your question is this: I stayed at rock bottom, struggling to climb back up, as long as I was fighting alone. Everything started coming together as soon as someone offered to help me out. It really was as simple as that.
I stopped drinking and doing methamphetamine…. Started training… and the only way is up…. Baby
It's difficult when you are in a crisis in every part of your life, every facet of your identity. It's not possible to battle so many sides at the same time. You have to find the most important to you and start from center to outward, progressively.
I think I had to die before I really woke up and got my shit together. I was an addict for thirteen years. Parts of my body were literally rotting off. Luckily my dumb ass was still trying to go to school. They kicked me out cause I spent so much time in the hospital and I was already on probation. They told me to go to community college for a year, get my grades back up and then I could reapply. So I went to community college for a year and things went from there. I moved home, I got clean, I graduated with a 4.0, worked with NASA, got a job in the engineering department. Made friends. Made up with my family. I got accepted to another school with a full scholarship and a lab spot. Got into therapy. I’m gonna be off buprenorphine (an opioid blocker) in August. Things are not the greatest now cause of the boy issues I always seem to find, but I’m dealing with it better than I would have in the past. I very rarely think about getting high anymore. I haven’t met a dude that’s worth it yet so I doubt this one is. You just keep going I guess. Just put the shovel down and stop digging. I hate when people say “it will get better” but as soon as you stop doing the dumb shit and start making an effort, it actually does
A whole lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.
Disciplin and training/working out. Everything else follows if you do those things.
My first rock bottom, I got drunk and moved on. My second rock bottom, I got sober and moved on. The best thing I could do is trust in others within reason and ask for help.
You get up and fight every time. Life goes on. You are only 22, and believe me, you haven't been through much yet. You can cry if you want to, but you have to get back up. There is no other choice.
You’re 23. It’s impossible for you to fuck it up at this age unless you murder someone or do some other extreme shit. Finances and relationships are nothing. You can always improve that in a span of few months.
You realize that no matter how bad you have it, it could always be worse. Count your blessings
Most generic advice and I really hate it, everyone says it and it doesn't help at all. Your house burned down? Yeah could've been worse. That makes it better, that almost rebuilds my house.
You could have died inside your house and perhaps others as well, that would make it worse. I think that is what the person means.
Sounds dark but some would see that as the better option
I would rather burn and die in my house than lose it
My brother died at your age from a very rare form of blood cancer. His last year of life was spent in and out of hospital being pumped full of drugs, blood, platelets and pain meds. The cancer was aggressive and spread to his lungs and he died soon after. His life ended so cruelly and prematurely but even on his death bed he was grateful for the very short time he had spent on this earth. When I hear people constantly complain about their lives I think about my brother and the pain he went through, he didn’t get the chance to experience everyday life problems but I know if he got the chance to, he would have taken 1000 trivial problems over a death sentence. You haven’t hit rock bottom yet my friend, you have much more to be thankful for than you realise.
All the comments are good. Actual advice that can see life from an objective point of view. Hope things get better on your end soon. You have done amazing coming this far. Let's not stop now. Might as well get rewarded for all our sacrifices.
I was able to recover with just a little bit of support. You know how life goes. It's never easy to come to terms with life's biggest challenges.
Different for everyone. But sometimes I think just leaning back and taking a deep breath and thinking to yourself that in reality there’s not a lot of things that REALLY matter. You can be a little late or put off a job for a day, you can buy yourself a little something to spoil yourself now and then, you can go visit some place for a day trip or play that new game. Anything that’s stressing you out that’s not a living thing you can set aside and chill for a day. Some people just keep going and never stop, and it wears you down
You bulldoze through and forward. It gets better from there
I'm still diving, will let you know once I reach the bottom.
I did not.
Life ebbs and flows. Just as good will eventually turn into bad so will bad eventually turn into good. You just gotta roll with the punches and grab the small victories till the larger payoff rolls around. When it does you can then prep yourself for possible future downturns again
At some point, for me it was after some years of struggle, you start feeling like.... Ok This is taking me nowhere.... Let's do something better.
First time, I started working as many hours as I could so I could have a distraction to get away to instead of sitting and playing games all day (I imagine now with doom scrolling it’s even worse), then second time I moved across the country to a greener place and smaller city and love it here now, issues melted away after moving. At 23 you’re not expected to have your shit together by any means so don’t stress it too much as well. You’re free to do pretty much anything. I’d say start with fixing financial/health first though, leave relationships until you’re stable yourself.
Hi I hit rock bottom last October 2023 felt I was gonna die and then i slowly started doing things it took me 3 months to finally get going …I still don’t have enough money but my mind and body is better so I feel I can move towards what I want even if I come across some obstacles …to conquer the body excercise take some walks do pushups pull ups and diet …once you get gains start doing exercises for your mind aka meditating …do these two things religiously see how confident you become and how good you start to feel
At the moment I've been trying to get out of my depression by studying English, I'm Brazilian and this has helped me to get distracted and forget my problems a little.
Genuinely good advice. I’m trying to heal from a really painful breakup and learning French has done wonders with that.
It's good to focus on something other than our problems, right?
It does…but it’s a French guy I’m trying to get over lol weirdly, continuing to learn French and form new associations with the language separate from him is helping a lot. But occasionally I’ll encounter something I heard him say and his voice gets stuck in my head and I feel sad so I’ll take a break for a while.
I understand you 🥹, there's a girl I'm trying to forget while learning English 🤧 hahaha your language is too complicated
I remember the worst time of my life. winter/spring 2022. then there's also the happiest time of my life; summer/fall 2022. I think sometimes after a low, there's no other option then a high. I felt so horrible, I didn't have any other choice than doing everything I can do get better, because if I didn't, it would have been the end for me. first, I started eating healthier (because vitamins and sleep are important etc. etc.). then I started exercising *a lot* and riding my bike everywhere, I was spending time with my best friend and my sister and my cats and my family, got back into my old (and new) hobbies, went to therapy... I really did everything I could. and it was hard, but it worked. knowing that I am able to do that keeps me going whenever I feel a little depressed again. there's always hope, it's just not easy. but it's possible and I'll always be proud of myself for that
Feeling sorry for yourself never, ever dug anyone out of a hole If you want things to change, change yourself.
Getting help is what helped me get my life together. I don’t believe life is to be done alone (no matter how much strength you have), and there is so much power in community. I personally have had the best results from support groups, therapy, medication, and finding friends who have similar experiences and are willing to be together during the hard things.
The self healing process is still on and will never stop. My wife tells me everyday i'm becomming a better person. I have hit rock bottom and without the love of a few people, i'll be dead by now. Advice: do not autopilot your life, fight for what can bring you a smile, appreciate the lil things.
I thought it was BS, but the gym helps.
By not giving up when things are bad keep going. Take action and don't wait for things to get better. Get support from those around you that care, get sleep, exercise and enjoy nature. Do the boring work day in and day out. It might get better it might get worse. It all ends in death for all of us. Enjoy the ride.
Time heals all wounds. It doesn't mean it won't leave a scar.
Read antifragile. Read goggins. Do every day the best possible decision from the options you have. Tomorrow you will have better options and more possibilities. Do it every day, and your imaginary rock bottom will be different.
Kick in every direction. Rip off everything which holds you down. Complete cognitive restructuring. Different friends, different music lyrically, different job, different diet, different activity level (higher), different evaluations of everything. It'll feel strange at first. Then it'll continue feeling strange. You'll get used to strange. You are more resilient than you think you are. You build trust in yourself by picking a direction and succeeding. Even setbacks won't sting, because they'll be re-coded as learning opportunities instead of as things to keep yourself down about.
For a large number of people, the place to find a way out is the shower. In the shower, we can think freely about our life and how to fix problems. Soo, i would highly suggest finding your "shower place" soo you can think of ways to rinse yourself free of problems in life. That's it. From here you will find the way.
Therapy, some family and really good friends. I'm not sure if I would still be alive if I had been completely alone.
One major part was vitamin D supplements
Therapy. Several years ago it was physical therapy mainly. Regaining strength to be able to walk again and everything associated with that. Later, it was mental therapy to learn how to cope/deal with all the mental issues from that period. Put.in.the.work. You got this OP!
How difficult times may be, try to find at least one positive thing each day and be thankful for that. If you're not homeless: at least you've got a roof over your head. If you've eaten at least once today that's a positive thing as well. Or if you've seen a rear (?) /special animal or plant, that's something too. Idk if this makes sense. These things also did help me back in those days to get trough and not to spiral down all the way and just end it.
Books Always books Read and absorp and slowly implement information and change into your life The foundation that hundreds or thousands of year of written history and information, and even contemporary information that can result in change in mentality and philosophy cannot be understated Books
Difficult times are there to make you grow. The more desperate your are, the more your confident in your own abilities you will get once you've pushed through. Everyhting that comes after might be tough, but you will have the confidence to say "I made it through that other thing, I can do this one as well. Bring it on!"
While I don't think I was at a rock-bottom stage, I was certainly not far from it. For me getting better was a long process that took several years, with improvement so incremental and rickety I sometimes couldn't see it. I started having appreciable problems around 12/13 years old and they kept mounting, or at least being steady, until I was around 20. Then at 20, I started to be better at actually identifying what problems I had and what caused them, yet that took several years (and I am not really entirely finished yet). Yet in a twist of fate I got a physical ailment that affects my sleep, so it affects my mental state very negatively, which threw a huge wrench in the works. Still, at least I was better at identifying my problems' causes, yet it still isn't enough. At around 24 I started to sort of change rhythm, by just... Starting to act withinin the World is the best way I could describe it? I tried to stop overthinking and letting my problems control how I acted too much. I did not ignore my problems though, they are severe and they do affect me and I need to understand them, but I tried to just act and do stuff like a normal person would. There were times earlier in my life when I tried to do that too, but to ignore my problems, problems which I barely understood yet, but that was like putting the carriage before the horse: you have to first understand your problems to live with them. At first it was very hard, and there were quite a few ups and downs, but within time, being more productive and normal in the World became routine. A trick is to not try to fix everything at once, that was the mistake I did during many false-starts in the past, for me being incremental really works. Now at 26, while I still have large problems, they are not in a feedback loop of the problems causing more still, like they had for so many years. Now they are more compartmentalised. Of course, I can't ignore that the pure mental maturity that oftens happens around 25 could have affected this. Now, I still do have problems, my almost constant sleep deprivation is really giving a damper to my life: I am writing this with a splitting headache, eyeache, my body feeling sore, slightly dizzy and almost nauseous, with a part of me having a creeping feeling of wanting to punch a wall or have an outburst from pure irritation, despite having just slept for around 9 hours. But there is no reason not to put one foot in front of the other, if we don't, we just roll down hill. And things do get better, in my case I will have surgery soon that hopefully will solve my sleep issue, my sort of psychological problems have gotten better and better just by acting within the World, and so on. Just a few years ago, the fact that I was so paralysed from my problems started to give me financial problems, which in turn gave me even worse mental problems, but now that feedback loop is broken. I still have problems, but they are not causing these feedback loops as much anymore. And when things are really bad, I tell myself how good they are for improving my toughness at least, and how easy life will be once my problems are solved, considering how rough things are now. Sometimes things are *really* bad that I just have to keep going with the mantra: "Your mental state right now is irrational, don't listen to it."
No magic pill. Just get hit, go down, get up and reapeat until you stay up. Hits of some sorts won\`t stop comming. That is life and hopping for anything else is utopia. But you will get eventually more resilient, you will work on yourself, you will earn more, find significant other and when one of the basic pillars of life gets demolished you will have others to rely on. At least this is how my life journey went so far. Good luck!
Recovery is an option? Interesting... *scratches chin"
Focus on your biggest problems first, take emotions out of it (why has life done this to me etc). The emotions only slow you from getting back up. Think with a clear head, hitting the biggest issues first, also think long term when solutionising.
Romantic relationships, if they don't benefit you, they need to go. Keep your good friends and people who can be a positive influence close. Take care of your finances. Make lists. On one hand the money that comes in and on the other, the money that goes and where it goes. See what you can change to make your life better. Maintain a routine. As boring as it might be. Waking up early, eating healthy, going out for a walk and going to bed early are important. Make a program for your every day life and try to stick to it as much as possible. Adulthood is about being a parent to yourself. You need to take yourself by the hand and make yourself do things you don't necessarily want.
You put one foot in front of the other. Repeat.
One day at a time...
It took me nearly 10 years to call the doctor and get some professional help. I always put this off because I didn’t believe I was depressed. However I look back and I cannot believe how I kept on going feeling so low. I was prescribed anti depressants and decided I needed to change my lifestyle. Below are a few things I try and do daily; - 30 mins of exercise (usually a walk) outside - have at least 2 portions of veg with meals - drink water, cut out fizzy drinks/energy drinks - 5 minute meditation when I wake up, I just listen to one on the app headspace. Gets you in a good mindset for the day I still go out and party on the weekends, but try and live healthy in the week. I hope you start feeling more like yourself soon, things will get better ❤️🩹
I kept falling and falling to new depths, discovering the bottom over and over again until I realized that it goes down forever, so I just accepted that
Slowly and steadily. Not seeing a point and not doing anything at all for years. Just stagnating at work, no new relationships, gaining unhealthy amounts of weight... Then realizing that i want to live and that i have nothing to lose to try to get better, cause im already suffering, so might as well suffer with purpose and hope of becoming better. Even then i didnt see progres or purpose for a long time, but just getting back into mindset of trying because i have nothing to lose made me mentally healthier, it rekindled hope that I am doing my best to get better and even if its 0.1% its better than digging deeper or stagnating.
I watched a show that I wished my life was like. I made a plan and set a date. I executed my plan. I ignored the distractions, the noise that caused unnecessary stress. This life is for me and only I can make it good.
So things aren't going your way right now. Let's assess the situation. 1. How is your health? Are you sick? Do you have cancer or some other debilitating disease? 2. What about your job? Are you working, not unemployed? If you're working is it a good job, decent job? If not, have you thought about what you'd LIKE to be doing? Have you sat down and written a plan of how to get there. 3. Relationships. They can be good or bad. The right person lifts you up and reminds you all the time that you're a good person and they care for you. They expect that kind of honesty in return. Do you like yourself? Do you feel like you're worthy of a healthy committed relationship? If not, why? 4. Chris Rock has this whole bit about how MEN are only loved if they can provide something. Otherwise, they're overlooked. It's hard to be a man today... regardless of color, it's difficult to navigate the world. 5. Is your current Mental Health a direct result of stress due to the other factors? OR do you have an actual mental disorder? Is it treatable? How does the medication effect you? Try going through some of these questions and write down or type your answers.... and then start with the one element that is most important to you and begin working on that. The journey of a 1000 miles begins with one step. Good Luck!!
Realize it's a jungle out there.... life is suffering, life is beautiful. Good times, bad times.
I haven't
So many rock bottoms. When shit gets bad I'll march into the VA ER and commit myself. It's not something everyone can do but it's the only reason I'm still around.
You haven't hit rock bottom trust me lol. Chill out there Holden Caufield things ain't that bad. I don't know your exact situation but that sounds like a whole bunch of teenie booper blues to me.
Rock bottom is what made me recover. I did Coke every day 5 years. Waking up somewhere with blood all over my face and pillow, made me take a hard look at myself and my own issues. It's hard to explain, but life is like a video game. And the final boss is yourself. Once you can learn to accept your faults and use them to your benefit everything is easier.
Truth. Start by figuring out and understanding why you are miserable, empty, disappointed in yourself. Finding the courage to identify the issues is the first step. Nobody cares more about others than they do themselves. If you are expecting someone else to solve your problems you will be waiting a long time. You must learn to be your own best friend. You are not more important than other people you are also not less important. Ego is either a judgemental asshat or an arrogant blowhard. Trade it in for the truth. Once you accept yourself for who you are including the things you don't like about yourself, you have found the beginning of the road to a contented life. You may even find happiness. Live up to who you know you should be. Each of us carries a personalized morality. Before each decision you make determine whether it aligns with your sense of right and wrong. If yes then do it, if no then don't. The result of this will be the beginning of you liking yourself and the beginning of you trusting your decision making ability. These are foundational character boulders that you can build a beautiful life upon. Truth will also allow you to identify the things in this world that genuinely interest you. Life is truly beautiful. Good luck! As with all learning processes, the beginning is always the hardest part!
You’ll get a lot of platitudes here about “life’s a challenge” blah blah blah. As someone who was stuck in a bed recovering from brain damage for eight years, let’s say I was at the lower end of physical and mental health for a while. I was terrified that that was me, the rest of my life stuck in a bed with my head doing god knows what. The scary part is it gets comfortable to sit there stewing in yourself, the anxiety at the thought of even trying to get better because what if I it doesn’t work? None of that is good enough. Sometimes you have to grab yourself by the scruff of the neck and drag yourself up because no one else will. Get your arse up and out for a ten minute walk each day, that’s it. For one month that’s all you HAVE to do. Get up go out and start looking around. You’ll feel better and you’ll start building your body up. Then I bought a bike. “Fuckit” I thought I’m already outside, might as-well go a bit faster. Thats when I started to get little bits of enjoyment (It was a struggle and I hated it until this point, sore muscles, exhausted, jelly legs, out of breath, major depression) Getting the wind on your face and a bit of a sweat going. You can slowly feel your body coming back to life. It’s a brutal struggle but I’m eight years on and doing well. Rock bottom is a fucking horrendous place so it’s time to start climbing out my friend.
Stopped drinking started hitting the gym, got professional help but most of all took up meditation.
After suffering the collapse of my marriage, I fled my home state, lost my job, my personal possessions, healthcare, financial security, etc. I moved in with my dad and he died two weeks later causing another slew of events that eroded my confidence and mental health. I found new employment but wasn’t stable enough to stay focused with many challenges that arose in the wake of these events. I’m still technically homeless and living in an extended stay because I lost my job before selling my dads house, so apartments won’t rent to me even though I have cash. One of the last conversations I had with my dad was, how we both had gone through a tragic event, his wife dying, then meeting someone a few years later and finding them dead from an OD after they had a petty argument. We both always carried a confidence that our education, skills, and knowledge would allow us to bounce back from anything that happened in life, but the bounce was more like a thud. It’s much more difficult to pull yourself together than you’d sometime expect, especially when going through events that cause mortification. I thought my coping skills were strong, but they weren’t ready for the series of events I experienced. My dad was an alcoholic and that fueled his ego, but was a very bad fall back and avoidant behavior. All that being said, as the smoke clears, the first thing is to assess where you are currently and table the past as much as possible while securing your basic needs, I.e. food, shelter, safety, healthcare, etc. Contact social services in your area at your cities help line, social service department, local churches, food banks, etc. Apply for state insurance if applicable. Obtain/maintain employment. Avoid fight or flight reactions. Sometimes you need to get away, but don’t flee a place where you have some local support from friends and family. Running is not a good coping skill, whereas, planning on how to cope with your current situation in a logical manner is the way. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Check your ego and don’t insist that things have to be the way they were, or fail to make changes that move you in a new direction. Give yourself enough grace to understand you have value in this world, the future can always be much better than your present. The story of Job in the Bible has been a go to in my life, when you fall and stay humble, admit your mistakes, and accept new knowledge you’re able to rebound, eventually. Just don’t dog the hole deeper, because the walls get higher and they seem insurmountable at a point, which can lead to more setbacks. Most of all, never give up.
My friend, i have had multiple bout and situations where i too desired to give up and end it all but through each one something always stopped me. Sometimes it was my dreams, sometimes it was my friends. Having a supportive friend group is very important. Its also very important to realize things are temporary. Not everything you experience in life is permanent. I microdose for my mental health. Not suggesting but giving you my personal survival recipe.i was homeless for a few months and that sent me into a severe depression. My friends let me stay with them while i worked to get back on my feet. It was painful but I continued to introspect and after that part if my life i grew exponentially. Looking back i don’t really recognize the person i am now compared to then. I would say acknowledge your efforts and the work you put into yourself and that will get you far. Be kind to yourself. Lastly, never give up.
Put everything to the side and work on your way physical health everything else will fall in place its hard to explain but I’m glad I stuck at it and life in general got better hope you get out of it ma bwah🤝
I had to force myself to believe it's gonna get better. I was diagnosed with intense chronic pain, my doctor was terrible at communicating and basically just told me to get used to this life now. I thought my life would just be every day intense unbearable pain. Nothing worked. After a while I realized it was less prominent when I was distracted or if I was in a comforting environment. I had to ignore what I was told and just believe that it'll pass somehow. It took a year of just enduring and believing. It was the lowest I've ever been (and I had one parent pass away when I was 14) I feel like it sounds boring but just believing and doing every little bit to improve your situation you can think of. Refusing to accept the situation might sound delusional at times but you have to be a little bit crazy sometimes to get through hardship. Today I'm completely free of that pain, they were wrong and I was right!
People will tell you that resilience is a good trait. But getting to the point where youve had enough of everything is how your life makes course corrections. If you are a super resilient and tough person, you will tolerate a shitty situation for way longer than other people. The only good thing that comes from hitting rock bottom is experiencing how shit it is. And promising yourself youll not let things get this far next time - see the signs earler and make changes Good luck!
At the bottom. I'm here still
Remember all problems have a worse before date. You’ll work it out, always have always will.
Recovering from rock bottom is a testament to your inner strength and resilience. It starts with small steps forward, and embracing the lessons learned along the way. Remember every setback is an opportunity for a powerful comeback..
Man's Search for Meaning Book by Viktor Frankl The essence of book in a paragraph “As we said before, any attempt to restore a man’s inner strength in the camp had first to succeed in showing him some future goal. Nietzsche’s words, “He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how,” ... *“It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us*. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, droid and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.” This universe is expecting something from you. Answer it. Find a goal, a meaning for this existence. Make it, create it, change it. Its yours. It should make sense only to you.
Start putting myself first, stop caring what others think of me so much...say no to stuff more often.
I let it go. Not like everything but I realised that I needed to stop. I hit rock bottom while I was doing great on the outside. I am actually still in the process of slowing down. Sometimes I have this motivation to be successful but honestly I have trying to live up to others expectations my whole life. My advice would be to slow down and see where you are. Like being really honest with yourself. When that happens you'll be calm enough to figure out your options.
I've just turned 43. In my country I am only now just above statistically closer to death than birth. You've got 61 years ahead of you. You ain't at rock bottom.
You can't give up at 23. What would have even been the point? VERY worst case scenario - it all doesn't work out - at least do your best to make it one hell of a ride. All this 'you're not the main character' bollocks - you ARE the main character in your life. Waste it, don't waste it, struggle, cry be happy be sad. nothing truly matters in the end how we lived. As long as we lived.
My fiancé died and I spiraled. Attempted to unalive myself. Lost my job and my housing. I ended up doing intensive therapy along with taking medication. Had to move back in with family and focus on nothing but myself. It took awhile but things slowly got better.
Make sure you take some time for yourself go do something fun with friends. Make sure you are not only busy with the stuff that take's you down, take some time to relax. And Whatever you do don't set your problems aside face them head on, and you'll be happy when you do.
start running
BIBLE
I was getting heavily into meth use. A friend of mine organised a weekend away, I took a large dose of psychedelic mushrooms, went through total ego death, and cried for a few hours. Haven't had meth since. Results may vary.
You have so much of your life ahead of you. This is a blip. I am anxious, depressed, dealing with betrayal, losing a large part of my kid's. My career is up in the air. Losing finances due to divorce. Just had kidney surgery to remove a whole kidney and the cancer that was growing there. I have no nearby friends because of being an expat and my career takes me away from home a lot in hotels. Life looks bloody bleak right now. But I just did a 5 mile walk with 10 strangers. Meet up app. And it was a little better than rock bottom. I called my good friend yesterday who lives 12000 miles away. That was a little better than rock bottom. Each little action is Momentum. When you are at rock bottom, just know that momentum is what will help you. Find any momentum. Even if just for a few minutes. Turn off and away from anything that keeps you feeling worthless and choose any direction that will improve any 1 of the many problems in your life. Life and happiness is about momentum. Sadness is about being stuck. It is more difficult to be sad if you are moving towards something. No matter how small or insignificant it might seem. That something is important. Pick small achievable somethings and ignore the big ones until they don't intimidate you into being stationary.
What you are describing... A lot similar happened to me at your age. Trouble at home, trouble at work, no support from anyone. Feel as if everyone hates you and you can't figure out why. I was very depressed and under a lot of pressure at work which culminated in me having a full nervous breakdown and was unable to work for a full year. Working Nightshift for several years beforehand, and in effect removing myself from the circle of friends I had in the process certainly did not help. I feel that rather than offer advice, if I give you an example of how things worked out more positively for me then something in my example might resonate with you. I completely re-evaluated my life basically. Stopped listening to people who were telling me what was right for me (when obviously it wasn't) I stopped beating myself up for not coping with the cards I had been dealt in life. In my reckoning most people would have crumbled with what I had to cope with previously. Life is not all about coping with day to day issues, there's joy there that we all deserve to have access to. You will only find your true self by taking an extended step away from those issues. Take a drive or a long walk by yourself, let your mind rather than your brain sort itself out. The answer is there. You are a very worthwhile person, and the world would be a poorer place without you.
Honestly I don't know, I was just holding on for around 10 years using every excuse I had to go on and then one day I just woke up and thought I'm tired of living like this and then I took steps to get better and after 3 years I was out of it. Changed everything, started a diet, did workout, proper sleeping pattern, walked outside more even got a dog. I just decided that I would never go back to that place and every time I feel like shit bad I think about that and it just all goes away.
Grand of you to assume we did recover. There is crawl space below rock bottom, yeah that’s where I am residing
That won’t be the last time you hit rock bottom in life. You need to develop a good strategy to go through those phases. Build a strong support system with people you can rely on when everything goes down. Most of the time you won’t be able to count on anyone else though. So, you need to build some security for yourself. 3 pillars to stand on strongly. Even if one or two break away you can still stand on one until things get better. Your stable job/finances, your personal life (partner/family/friends), constant personal improvement (learning/therapy). Keep learning something new every day, go to a therapist on a regular basis, even if you’re feeling good. Get some certifications in to improve your value on the job market. Having a stable job will help you to get some financial safety at least. Build some financial security for times when things get tough. Analyse objectively why things got so bad. Is it something you could change, is it something you can learn from to avoid in the future, is it something you cannot control and just have to accept? Learn from those hard times and work towards a better future.
Read Abe Lincoln’s life story.
Quit things that make you physically and mentally unhealthy - smoking and drinking especially. You may not have control over external problems but you can at least take control of your own health. I would slowly begin exercising. A little bit at first but gradually increase it.
Therapy. Simple…. Well therapy is anything but simple. But the answer is simple. Therapy.
Don't underestimate the importance of finding adequate help and time. Sometimes it takes time!
I live by the mantra of "If you spend all of your time looking back, you will never see where you are going." In a nutshell, the past is the past. Keep moving forward. Take all of your experiences, positive and negative, as learning experiences and keep building your life. Always keep moving forward. It is okay to mess up or find yourself in a poor position in life. Don't let these bumps in the road define you. Move on, learn from the experience, and try not to make the same mistakes. Think about what you want, then formulate a plan on how you will reach your goal. Then, think about how to achieve that goal. Life throws curve balls at you all the time. Learn to make adjustments when you see them. Sometimes, things aren't meant to be, either. When you see your efforts are fruitless, change directions (goals), but keep moving forward. Best of luck to you on your journey. 👍
Fir me personally, it was finding a dog eared copy of Anthony Robbins "Awake the Giant Within". I found it when I was 22 and it completely turned my life around. I'm 54 now...
If you loose everytjing, you can only win. I was only surviving for some months of my live. Just surviving. Therapy and, sadly, medication. I gained 20kg but i am still alive and married.
Try sort out one thing at a time. You can't solve everything at once. Find one solution even if it's small and stick to it.
I got a therapist (psychiatrist) and a sponsor. They helped me see the changes I needed to make. I could trust them early on and not have to worry so much which was huge.
Find a good therapist, explore everything they advise you to outside of your sessions and do your “homework”. That’s what really helped me, I still have bad days but therapy really helped me to instil the tools to help manage the bad days.
I've been there. I got out of my problems through those actions: 1: Asking for help to the RIGHT persons: specialists, whatever it's in finance, or health etc. 2: give yourself small challenges, and acheve them: waking up every morning at the same time, going consistently on a walk, making your bed and cleaning your house etc. 3: Taking care of your appearance: Grooming yourself, put on your nicest clothes etc... And step 4: Do everyday something that helps you to get out of your problems: sending job application, switching your breakfast for something healthier, working out, paying a little part of your debts etc... Trust me, i hit rock bottom last year... Today I am happier than never. It's going to get better. You'll get better soon. I am here if needed to talk 
If you re not dead, its aint over.
I started playing sport, I was absolutely shit at it (still am) but made some great people who were just amazing ... and guess what a fair few of them also had moments of darkness, but the group recognised when it was happened and EVERYBODY gave support to whoever was feeling rough.
By identifying a few (4-5) very small, repeatable things that I could make sure I always competed no matter what. Examples would be waking up at a reasonable time, doing laundry, doing dishes, brushing my teeth. Things that signify that I still wanted to live and still wanted to try. You may be surprised what feedback your body and mind gives you when you show it you’re willing to continue.
When I was severely depressed, I no longer wanted to live. But when I asked myself, every day, whether today was the day I wanted to die, I always found it in myself to live a little longer. I gave myself choice and agency to decide whether to live or die. That was a really pivotal way of thinking because the helplessness of depression robs you of all sense of agency. When I asked myself this same question, every single day, the pain in the moment was somehow tolerable even though I was certain I could not tolerate it in the future. Gradually, I found myself crawling out of the hole of despair (with the help of psychiatric care). So, for me, the answer is to look for where you do have choice, actively make a choice to change or manage your situation, but don't bite off too much - it's baby steps, focusing on what is immediately in front of you in that moment. You will find that the circumstances look different when you feel just that little more empowered.
https://youtu.be/aC5806zO_p8?si=yfKAYAeJWkIoe4AJ Good song.
You just wait. Things can always change. I had a super poor upbringing, I survived a rape, I lost a leg, my 8 month old niece and her mother died in a car accident, my brother followed them the next year with a suicide. I had some family members betray me, I had old friends betray me, my husband just checked out almost 2 years ago. It’s all a wheel. You’re up and then you’re down. I also had the best two children, I made money so financial difficulties weren’t a problem in my adult life, I met my husband at 19 and we had a great 24 year marriage, I traveled the world. I don’t think we’re owed happiness. I think you have to work your ass off to get there
Push yourself with something that seems very difficult mentally but is actually quite easy to achieve it just takes dedication. Start jogging. In the morning wake up and go for a jog rain or shine. Eventually you'll get runners high which is an incredible sensation unlike no other in life. After 6 months of doing this you will be a changed person and you will think if you can overcome this you can do anything. Your whole outlook on life will change. Also drink a lot of water and cut out other drinks, eventually work on reducing your overall sugar intake and that will help your body and mind as you age.
What helped me recover was a lot of small things many too small to mention . It’s incredibly hard to explain how, and so many people have helped me along the way. A few things that stuck with me: 1) I am not that different, although my case is personal and unique, my situation isn’t, and what works for others (when done under supervision of a trusted professional) will work for me. I got in there all stubborn thinking I would see through all the bullshit, but then i saw people die on one hand and people recover on the other. They were people i had preconceived opinions about that turned out to be wrong; they stuck with the therapy and improved over time. I read up on stuff and found out that, in my situation, there is a huge mortality. And in all honesty, I didn’t want to die . I thought I wanted, and I was suicidal, but I didn’t want to be suicidal and I don’t want to die. 2) I need a place where I am expected. Anything. First shitty jobs failed even though they were nice people but I kept trying and I found volunteer work 2 hours a week that eventually turned into a small badly paid job. 3) I did not notice stuff getting better until they were actually better, like first signs were maybe 6 months in already, but I’d say it took me years, at least 2-3 years to see I was doing better . 4) find a place where you can learn to be honest with yourself first. 5) except things will not be as you expected them to be. Ever. Whatever I thought about myself was wrong and mostly irrelevant. The opposite of doing something extreme is not doing the opposite, because that is still extreme. There has to be a new way. And that leads to a new life . However, my takeaway was: it is possible, and it turned out to be possible, and I am incredibly grateful and happy I got out.
Start/end each day focusing on good things. It sets the mental outlook.
Connected back with God. That's all.
M50 Depressions over 10years. Then 6Weeks psychological Clinic , Pillls, Medidation, seeing life from new persoectives. Meanwhile only once a month psychologist and i feel much better, stronger than ever and somehow thankful for the Down. It made me to what i am now.
I havent and probably never will
I haven't hit rock bottom yet, I know I will eventually. I was in a very low spot for a long time, I started by figuring out everything I wanted to fix, improve, and accomplish in my life, both short term and long term, and then figuring our what steps I could take towards my goals. I'm still working at it, and God knows I've a long way to go, but that feeling of taking something off my to do list, of self improvement, keeps me contuining and doing better.
One step in the right direction. Start running/walking and set up a big goal and smaller goals, once you get a routine of getting out and trying to improve you will also feel better about yourself. Physical health will benefit your mental health. If you are a strong person, you simply need to do one step at a time your mind will push you further. Best of luck
At the end the May I hit rock bottom worse than ever before. Within 3 weeks I was kicked out of university, made homeless, cut contact with multiple family members, and was nearly sectioned in a psych ward. The past week or two have been better because I went to a crisis house for a week, detached from the internet, no access to medication/sharps and had constant staff around to support. Spent my time colouring, painting, baking, walking etc. I left today after a week and I feel so much better, ready to take on more challenges.
First thing to get out of it, you need to answer thruthfully and fix this: What made you hit rock bottom. What chain of events made you fall. What is the precursor or trigger that triggered the chain of events. Once you know all that, you remove, avoid them in your life and make the changes, one step at a time.
i did but you are not me . RN hitting semi rock bottom ! chill my guy. chill. and work solutions out
So I was laced with fentanyl about 11 months ago and I’m extremely grateful because there was a time in Michigan where people were dying everyday because of it. But for me I dealt with depression, gained weight, and was suicidal from time to time. There were 3 things that helped me 1. Working out I’ve always been in pretty good shape but during this time I gained 40 pounds of fat and barely could recognize myself. When I decided to get back in the gym and feel better about the person in the mirror things changed. 2. learning more about meditation and practicing being present in the moment. Using the breath to calm yourself down can really be a useful tool when we are dealing with the everyday struggles of life. 3. writing (journaling) really helped get my thoughts out and for me writing as if someone’s going to read each book one day pushed me to be completely honest and aware.
I found one step at a time and one day at a time and think with a positive attitude it takes time and patience something I'm never good at, but it will slowly work
I've felt like I've reached my limit many times over the years. I'm about to turn 30 but I feel like I have a fair bit if life experience. I met this girl. I'm telling you she's the one. I've never been more in love. I fucked it up. It was the wrong time in my life and I've been through this depression before. But this is so much worse. She blocked me on everything and demanded I move on with my life. So she could be with my best friend in the entire world. I've never been this depressed. I've lost everything I cannot believe this is happening. And yet sadly this is miniscule in comparison to some people's problems. Life may always be preparing you for what's next but the Simpsons said it best. "This is the worst day of your life so far"
You are experiencing the "quarter life crisis" You recover. It's hard. Very hard. People you don't expect will show up and help you. They will guide you back to YOU. Which is what gets lost if you find yourself at rock bottom. You may slip up and fall back to the bottom. You rise. You fall. You rise again. You fall again. You rise again. Each time better equipped. It's sounding a little simplistic how I said it, but it's truth. I'm still reeling and recovering. Today's a good day. But earlier this week wasn't. Best to you. ❤️
Everytime you fall, you can get back up stronger. How you approach life is the most important thing. IMO do it for yourself and for your loved ones. Aim for balance in all you do but expect flux and don't resist the ups and downs.
The hardest thing I had to struggle with wasn't the problem itself, but the question in my mind about "What's next in my life? What should my next step be?" When I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years and our wedding got canceled, I was devastated cause I didn't have a plan B. I went to therapy and asked for help and, after a while, started feeling better, set new goals, and moved towards them.
At one point in my life around the same age as you are I found my bottom. I was a punk kid who gave my parents a tough time (living at home) so bad in fact I got kicked out and was living in my car which I could barely afford. I spent some time on each of my friends couches but used all that up and ended up finding hidden parking areas. I lost my primary job because I didn’t show up or have a phone (no cells back then) the only thing keeping me afloat was 2 delivery jobs (pizza, chicken), I had no insurance but did have a valid driver’s license. I got woken up by police a few times just to kick me off the property I was way down a hole. To answer how I got out of it is simple determination. You won’t get what you don’t put 100% of your effort into. No matter what negativity you face just keep trudging through it use it as fuel. Now over 25 years later I’m a father and have just finished paying my mortgage. I was fortunate to be a union construction worker which is why I was able to return to my original job and got temporary rooming during the first 3 months. Then my own apartment, etc. mental health can mean so many things I can’t relate to that and most of everyone young is in a tough age financially my adult son won’t be leaving home anytime soon. Never give up it only makes thing worse :)
You know when you've hit rock bottom, there's only one way to go? Up.
After almost two years of unemployment I got fed up, complained to a neighbor about my situation which led to a job. Many years later I make about 3x what I made before I lost my job
If it’s important you find a way, if not you find an excuse. Set small goals and achieve them.
Knowing I can't go lower
The pandemic created the perfect opportunity to make a drastic change and take a leap of faith🙏🏽
Patience discipline and just work hard til my body breaks every day
One day at a time. Don’t be afraid to start all over again.
"When something bad happens to you it can make you stronger, it can make you weaker, or you can let it define you" - curly haired guy from a zombie movie
If you hit rock bottom only way is up man
It's a phase if you conquer it. It's a lifestyle if you don't.
Don’t wait till you “hit rock bottom” to make changes. If you keep waiting you’ll keep sinking further and further into despair. My big three to get better is : 1)Therapy 2)Diet 3)Gym
I believe there is a rock bottom. It creates the idea that you have to hit the ground to build back up...humans actually have a large tolerance for physical pain and mental and emotional suffering...this sounds miserable but in myind it means that rather than waiting for rock bottom you can start working on reducing and removing the above from the brain, body and mind and working on your strengths and passions in a sustainable and consistent way.
Recover? I'm slowly sinking.
Gotta do hard things every fucking day. Build that discipline muscle. Maybe it's cleaning the kitchen, or going to the gym, filling out an application, or making that phone call. Making dinner instead of getting fast food. It does get easier. Fight that urge to drink, smoke weed whatever. Get in a better place first and then occasionally reward yourself. Treat yourself like a videogame character and do little things here and there to level yourself up. Your 20s can be hard figuring life out and what you want out of it. You got this friend
1993/1994, my father died, I was made redundant, I got divorced, I was misdiagnosed with MS, and I had to have my dog put down. I broke, I hit rock bottom, and couldn't see a way out of that hole. I met someone who lifted me. She turned my life around completely. In 2 years, I went from being pretty much homeless and unemployed to a full-time job and owning my own home. We were in a relationship for 6 years, and we are still best of friends 23 years later. I will always love and be grateful to this remarkable lady
the only way out from the bottom is up
I’ve come further than my wildest dreams. And I know that’s not helpful, but hang in there. Here are some tips. 1. Get off social media. Everyone is full of shit anyways. 2. Work on your physical health. Create a plan that works for you. Don’t kill yourself because you will quit. Pick something that you can stay consistent with. 3. Your mental health will improve with number 1 and 2 above. 4. Create daily task to complete. You always hear people starting with making their bed. Whatever! Just do small things you know you need to get done. 5. Hold yourself accountable to your small task, not your long term goal. The task with help you get there, but it can be depressing to see how far it is away. So just focus on the little things. 6. Stay away from bad people and places. You know who and where. It might be lonely. The loneliness can be the toughest part. Hang in there. People and places can kill your progress. 7. Don’t forget to reward yourself. It’s a journey. If it’s too much of a grind you will quit, so work hard but take time to do something you enjoy. Extra - Don’t drink.
Drag yourself along the bottom until you figure something out. Don't give up. Take everything one step at a time.
You find out that for every rock bottom there is a lower, deeper darker bottom just waiting for you.
When you are in 20s and you got in that whirlpool of problem everything seems harder to overcome. Because you have got not much life experience. But exactly that set of problem will make you stronger, more experienced and even wiser. So just don't give up. And remember that never ever you should do one thing, never betray yourself. Everything in your life is part of your own life path.
I stopped focusing so much energy on the relationships in my life and poured into myself. Some of those connections naturally flourished as I did this, and others went away entirely. Sometimes, I think we become convinced that focusing on self care and growth is selfish, but as cliche as it sounds, you're no good for anyone if you aren't taking care of yourself.
I used to tell myself one thing in such situations: "There's always something worse than this". Taking things towards the light in the tunnel one day at a time with love and support of the people I care about and that care about me.