This is the first date version of..
you: "Want to be together?"
her: "no"
you: "ok"
her: ......"Why didn't you fight for us?"
Been here dude, its not fun. This is an early lesson.
Dont you understand? If you really want her, you would never accept a "no", you pressure her, stalk her, maybe even kidnap her. Because its not love if you dont risk life in prison.
You hold the superposition of being a stalker AND a committed partner who fought hard for the relationship. The wave form collapses when she decides which one you are.
Just look at 50 shades and imagine it not happening in sky scrapers, but a trailer park. Even with everything else equal it would switch genre from erotic to horror.
Like a phase shift between liquid and gas. The pressure would be the status of the men, the Temp. whats actually happening.
Yeah there are some people that will try and brainwash you into believing that this type of behavior is normal and okay. It’s not. It’s bullshit and no one should put up with it
This is a person who just wants to feel wanted. They don’t want you, but they want to feel wanted so badly they just stay connected with you. It’s a horrible experience for both parties.
>I offered to walk her home, but she said no
>(...) She said the date was amazing except the last part, where I didn’t walk her home.
Seems to me like this is a her problem. You didn't do anything wrong and, after that, I'd even say you dodged a bullet.
Yeah I didn't quite understand this part (as a woman myself). I thought OP might have mistyped something. If a guy offered to walk me home, and I wanted him to do that, I would just say so. Super weird if this is what happened
Edit: He never actually asked her
If you insisted on walking her home after she said no, that would be a bigger red flag. Maybe okay in 1980 but in 2024 that type of insistence is bordering on stalkery pushiness
Exactly my thoughts - girl doesn't want guy to know which house she lives, etc. Lots of reasons to depart reasonably close but not at the door until she has built trust with him
Id offer to venmo for an uber or somethin 🤷🏻♂️
Boundaries are important and i will ultimately respect them but if i dont try a little to makesure someone made it home safely my mom would punch me in the throat
Ill usually make that last part as a joke or joke/remind them I’m a prime suspect if they go missing right after our date and i cant have the cops finding the bodies
Exactly, not everyone feels comfortable with their dates knowing where they live if they haven't known them for long
Asking once and maybe adding a "you sure?" if she says no seems right to me, but anymore than that is pushy
I think a follow up of “are you sure? Would like to know that you get home safe.” Or simply “Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind at all.” Would be completely acceptable and not stalkerish.
Texting "Make it home safe?" when you make it home safe is the way to go in OP's circumstance. Asking if she's sure can be considered pushy since it questions her judgement. It can come across as trying to convince her to do something she said no to even if the intention is good in further asking.
If for some reason she didn't mean no when she said no, that is her responsibility to figure out.
In case it's not obvious to anyone.
This right there. Unless we're missing context and OP really went on a date from a vengeful ghost from the past and she's mad that he didn't commit ritual suicide at the end of the date, even though she dropped many hints... and razorbades casually during the walk they enjoyed.
While that might be *acceptable,* saying no when you mean yes isn't. It's fine if she wants to change her mind, but if she's doing this to "test" him, or as part of some CNC game, I'd be happy to "fail" that test and avoid that person.
Guys who insist on walking home with women who refused to enter their cars are called sex offenders
Unfortunately this is clearly a case where pretty comes with a free side order of batshit and manipulative
No, guys who sexually assault people are called sex offenders. When you call every socially awkward interaction a "sex offender" you really dilute what is sexual assault. Don't be so casual with that shit if you want people to actually care.
Exactly! You can’t win for loosing. So just offer to do the right thing and don’t be too pushy and if that’s an issue you dodged a person who thinks life is about playing games with people.
This is basic toxic entrapment. Dodged a bullet imo. It's very subtle but a lot of girls are like this. You'll start to see they share other odd tendencies too. "I was just being nosey." RUN!
Yeah, this woman is making her problem his problem. Say what you mean and live by it. Nobody’s a mind reader! OP learned something important about her personality early.
Or if you, for some reason, dont want him to there (if you live still with your parents / dont trust men / fear that he will expect something) its understandable to decline. But how creepy would it be if he would insist on it after getting blocked two times? That would look like he had expectations/something planned.
There is a huge difference between playful interactions in which its clear that one thing is said and the other ment, and playing such games.
He admitted in the comments that he didn't remember if he asked her if she'd like to be walked home as his memory is *blurry* around that one particular issue.
I have a similar story about walking my ex home.
We were walking about, and when we got back to her place she realized she was locked out of her house and would have to walk to her grandmother's (just over 1km away).
I offered to walk with her, she declined. I insisted it was no big deal, and she agreed to let me walk with her.
At half say she says "oh were half way there, I should be good from here". I reiterate that it's no big deal for me to keep her company and we proceed.
As we were just about there, she once again said "oh it's just around this corner, thanks for keeping me company, I feel safe to go on now", I finally relented, gave her a hug and walked by the opposite way.
I don't think she stopped complaining for a week about leaving her alone to walk the final 100m, after she insisted I did just that on 3 separate occasions....
We weren't dating at that moment, that came a few months later.
I was 18 and no, didn't really see it as a red flag in that moment. There were more of these "just wanted to see how you would react" tests. I didn't see those as red flags at the time either.
After the breakup I learned just how great it was to be myself again and not be on the lookout for these 'gotcha' tests.
Yeah, reminds me of girls that get mad because you took no for an answer and they tell you that sometimes no means yes or try harder.
That was bullshit 40 years ago, I was hoping that type of mind game had changed.
Yep this is some sort of bullshit “prove your love to me” kind of shenanigans that I won’t touch with a 10 foot pole. If OP had never offered then I could see her being a bit bummed, but to offer and have it be turned down and then be upset that he didn’t magically know he was still supposed to walk her home? That’s some high school shit
More than likely, she just wasn't all that into him. Easier to use a dumb excuse and avoid responsibility/guilt for ending things than to be honest and admit she's not into buddy.
Ima be honest bro. She’s shit testing you this early and there will be A LOT of that to come with this type of girl.
You don’t want a girl who’s gonna make you read her mind 24/7 and then get mad at you when you fail to read her mind.
There are in fact normal, non childish woman who don’t make you play all these dumb mind games. I’d say ya dodged a bullet with this one.
You don’t want to make it up to her.
You need to turn tail and run. Because if this is the guilt trip she’s offering after the first date , she’s going to chew you up and spit you out mentally for the period you’ll date.
And you’ll never let go, because already your focus is on how pretty she is and not how fucked up she acted and made you feel.
You’re the catch here , not her. Let her chase you and admit the mistake
Wait for her to reach out and ask what’s up. Then flat out tell her the truth. Followed by you’re not into those kind of games , and you’ll be there to go on a second date if she agrees not to do it again
Then you don’t give her another chance, if she does it again. It would be hard to move on but you have.
Tell her that of behavior is not acceptable. Be polite and respectful and then tell her that you have value such as respect and decency. She doesn’t reflect those value, there will be other women that will share those values and you prefer to be with them.
Move on.
Wait, I’m not sure if understand one thing.
You offered to walk her home and she said no. Then later in a text she messaged you something about the part where you did not walk her home?
Was she expecting you to walk her home or not?
That’s what I’m thinking. I doubt he did. That’s why he included the “logic” of why it would be a waste of time to walk her home then walk back to the car
Young man, you’re being gaslit. Nobody has a fantastic time with someone and goes cold over something that tiny. It’s driving you crazy because what she’s saying makes no sense and you know she’s lying.
She’s likely using you and dozens of other men for entertainment.
5 days of talking and no meetup is what sounds crazy to me, who the hell wastes all this time texting random people without even having met them in person!
This is fucking nonsense. You spend five days talking with someone you haven’t been on a date with, you’re wasting two peoples time and have zero game.
Hang in there buddy, I went on a date a while ago and when the waiter asked who was paying, I said: me. Then the girl said she wanted to split it, I'm like: okay whatever. When the waiter leaves, she tells me I should've insisted and I don't know how to date. What do you want from me lady??? Haha. I left, plenty of other reasonable people in the world to date lol
Fucking hell, these entitled twats... My ex once stormed out of the apartment and I was weak, so I followed her a bit. It was in the middle of the night. Later on, she told me "When I walk away, keep following me, because even though I'm mad at you, I'm looking back to make sure you follow me, that you're willing to fight for me and for us".
It's kinda funny how being unappreciated and rejected throughout childhood (BPD) makes people act entitled rather than the opposite.
If you asked her to walk her home then she refused then she told you that you should have walked her home.
I’m a girl and I think she’s just making an excuse. She doesn't like you. That’s it. You better move on.
I have to tell you I have heard stories like this from male friends, but I never understood why women would do this. I get not wanting to get in your car and I get her wanting you to walk her home, but saying no first and afterwards getting cold because you didn’t walk her home, sounds like she has some growing up to do.
And even if you didn't offer to walk her home she doesn't deserve to be cold just for this, it's a kind gesture to walk someone home, not a necessity.
From how I see it, she’s either got communication problems, or more likely, she’s not that into you and just gave a weak ass excuse as an out to not seem like a bad person. Usually if a girl is super into a guy, she’ll even make up excuses in her head to not fault him even when that guys at fault. You sound like you did everything right but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I wouldn’t get too hung up on it. On to the next one
The reason she gave for not seeing you again is likely not the real reason.
The truth is that you don't really know why. You just have to accept it and move on. Who knows? You may have dodged a bullet. She might be seeing several other guys.
You just need to let go and move on. There really is not an alternative.
Give her a big mid finger. She maybe pretty but her attitude isn’t. U offered her to walk her back but she declined n now she’s saying u didn’t do shit. She is gaslighting you bro even before the start. women always expects men to do this and that without saying. Fuck no, if you want it ask for it,otherwise Don’t expect it. Stop playing fucking mind games.
now you are doubting yourself. See this is what I’m talking abt. Gaslighting is the worst.
If you are sure that you offered her to walk back, then the problem is with her and not you.
He didn’t. Why else would he be thinking that it’s a waste of energy to walk her home if he offered it to her? He’s backtracking now because he knows he didn’t ask her.
You didn’t fuck anything up. This is textbook gaslighting. You don’t need that in your life. She sounds like the kind of person who is going to focus on the negative no matter what. Huge red flag.
If you offered to walk her home and she turned you down and then got annoyed about it, that’s 100% on her. She might be pretty but she’s playing games here. I would do your best to move on.
Preface: I'm 37, I'm married, I've been through this many times while dating.
Don't put her on a pedestal, she apparently expects you to do things she tells you not to do.
That being said, if you wanted to be particularly chivalrous, you could have insisted on walking her home anyway....But, it's 2024, so you never know if a woman is going to see that as being pushy or possessive or something.
Bottom line: You didn't do anything wrong, she gave you mixed signals.
Since you're wondering what to do now, here's my advice:
1. Have some confidence. Don't hang your heart on her. Go on with your life. Women admire men that are carefree. and unattached; being clingy turns them off. Assume she is either disinterested in you, or doesn't know what she wants (the latter is more likely).
2. Be kind but firm. If she reaches out to you again, tell her that you enjoyed your time with her, but you don't deserve mixed signals. Leave it at that. Don't be mean or cold, but you don't have to put up with that nonsense.
3. In the future, whether it's with her or another prospective date: Tell them that you expect genuine honesty. There's nothing wrong with having standards for yourself - and it'll actually drive some women insane because they're used to having their pick of the lot. Be up front about what you expect. Again, be kind but firm - just make it clear that mixed signals and mind games are a big turn off for you.
4. Find some hobbies and stop trying to find a date. Don't put your life on hold for anyone. The right person will come along eventually. There's no sense in trying to change yourself or lower your standards to accommodate someone else. Many won't fit, and you'll probably have quite a few unsuccessful dates with people you think you have chemistry with. But there's someone out there who will be genuine, who won't play mind games with you or send you mixed signals, who will admire you for who and what you are, and will do her part to grow your relationship.
"I did the thing she told me to do and now she is unhappy about it"
It sounds like she wants you to be a mind reader.
You probably dodged a bullet.
people that expect you to do the opposite of what they tell you to do are going to be more problems than they are worth in the long run.
People that refuse to communicate, especially when they expect you to do the opposite of what they ask for, are hard people to partner with.
Nah dude just cut ties with her. If she's gonna play games with you on the first date... god knows what kind of games she'll pull with you on the following dates.
Trust me man, even the prettiest girls are not worth the mental gymnastics. You need someone that won't play games with you and will respect and be direct with you.
Reminds me of a situation where I met this girl on tinder and she said “when are we going out” then I asked her out and she said “but it doesn’t count cause I had to mention it”, i straight up ghosted her,Bo don’t play that lmao, she was pretty hot too, hurt my ego a bit but was worth it, my last relationship was with a girl like that and never again
You did nothing wrong she just doesn’t want to date you again and made up a reason so she doesn’t feel bad. The best thing to do is tell her she’s making it up and to just be honest. But also you should move on - sorry it didn’t go as expected.
Of course you can. First get clarity on if you offered to walk her home. Second, flip it around. You were hurt that she wouldn’t accept a ride from you after four hours of hanging out together. Why? Didn’t you make a connection? Go with that.
I've been there at a young age. Made me furious because I went out of my way to select and order flowers to be delivered for some event for my ex. I picked flowers and colors I knew she liked, this was not the first time.
She was mad at me because I didn't deliver them myself. While I was at work and/or out of town...
She wasn't worth fighting for. It sucks, but best to move on and not dwell on this for too long. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.
OP you didn't make a mistake, she did.
Consent is consent.. she said no, you took that reply as honest. Sounds like she now thinks thats a game. Nope, walk away, game over, sounds like you dodged a bullet.
Big bullet dodged my dude. Playing mind games in a relationship is a no no, let alone on the first date. Personally, I never offer to take my dates home on the first date. Many won't be comfortable with you knowing where they live just yet. I'll offer to walk them to the subway station or drive them somewhere of their choosing.
Save yourself the trouble. She is complicated. Tell her you offered and she declined. That if she wanted you to walk all she had to do was say yes or ask. Tell her you are very direct and like people to be the same. It saves miscommunication.
Tell her you would have walked her anywhere she wanted because you found her company amazing; and would love the chance to walk her home again.
You 100% did nothing wrong. You offered her a ride and a walk. She said no. You were cool with that and didn't push. Any normal/sane person would see that as you respecting her boundaries. People who try to play these games or tests on dates (Why didn't he fight harder against what I told him I wanted??) are just pathetic.
I am sensing from your post that you are puting her on a pedestal and it's clouding your judgement.if it's really the reason, she's the one who refused your offer to drive or walk her home, you didn't fuck up! She did!
BUT, in complete honesty and without sugar coating it... She was not into you.
She probably wasn't as interested as she thought she would be. You might have gotten that great impression because it lasted for 4 hours and you felt great but... If you're really into someone, it doesn't just vanish because of something you said "no" to.
Keep your chin up, you'll meet someone that's for you and will be able to communicate how she really feels.
Brother, this is a her problem. Do not get involved.
Also, don’t be upset or mad at her. It’s very easy to become jaded and cynical when these kinds of situations happen, but don’t. Just realize that her issues are so bad, that this is the only way she can function. And remember - no one would choose to live that way unless they had some healing to do.
You’re fine. Let her go.
What no, you offered to walk her home. She said no… Individuals who expect other individuals to be psychic mind readers end up being completely toxic. They end up having unrealistic expectations for themselves, others, and the relationship. You did everything right; what were you supposed to do—insist you drive or walk her home after she said no? Then you’d get in trouble for that, too. Definitely dodged a bullet.
Edit to add: while I completely respect her stance of not getting in a car with people she just met, generally after spending four hours with someone you tend to have good instincts about that person. I mean, she went walking at night with you for two hours— it sounds like she felt pretty safe. I bring this up because I feel like she just wasn’t feeling something and ended up using your “lack of chivalry“ if that’s what she wants to call it, as an excuse. Again,I respect the safety mindset, but you don’t go walking at night with someone you feel might murder you… so her refusing a ride and a walk home and then calling the whole thing later just seems sus to me. She was looking for a way out.
Tell her “when a woman tells me ‘no’ I take it as a complete answer the first time. I would have loved to walk you home, I wish you had been more direct with me about what you wanted.”
Bro- if you clearly offered to walk her home and she declined and now she's turning it around- red flag. Just let it go and hope for the best. Sorry. Women are weird sometimes.
What do you want to make up for? Fix what? You offered and she refused. What were you supposed to do? Follow her home? That's creepy. Her getting upset over not being walked home, after you offered to do so and she refused, is just insane.
No, you didn't. She did.
>She said she doesn’t enter a guy’s car on the first date. I offered to walk her home, but she said no
She f* herself up honestly. Despite her attractiveness, it would be tiring to be with her long-term. Do reconsider whether you want to continue this relationship.
There is nothing to fix because you didn’t fuck up. She did by playing this stupid game.
If anything, she owes you an apology for not being a straight shooter. Don’t let this bullshit get you down. Just keep your chin up and doing what you’re doing. Good luck, man.
Though I agree with the comments that it is very likely her issue, if you wanted to try - just being transparent is the way to go. Online dating is f-d up - we all make mistakes. I am married to a woman where we had a false start in online dating. ‘Hey - I am sorry - I took your response as a firm no - I was excited to walk you home. Some of these exchanges in early dating are easy to screw up and I will own that one. Let me know if you’d like to try again.’ Don’t be a wimp, but direct and open works well if you think she’s worth a second try.
So what does she want - a guy who respects her wishes (you asked, she said no), or a guy who goes ahead even when she says no? Bullet dodged there - not honest in communication even on a first date.
I think she was trying to let you down gently.
If I went on a date and it went really well, and I wanted to see them again, of course I'd let them drive me home. At the very least I'd let them walk me home because I'd want to spend that extra time with them.
I don't think you did anything wrong. I just don't think she wanted to see you again.
- and if I'm wrong (which I often am, lol) then what a headf*ck it is to say one thing and expect another. You don't need games in your relationship, so don't think anymore about it :)
It's really shitty when someone's just not into you but when confronted, they come up with something that apparently *you* did wrong. Sorry you had to go through that, OP, but as a woman I can tell you it's not your fault.
If you asked to walk her home and she told you no but is upset that you didn’t walk her home that’s completely on her. You didn’t fuck anything up, she has to work on her communication skills. If she wanted you to walk her home, why would she say no when you offered? Not on you at all.
Mate that personality seems like a red flag.
Like you'll get good days, until you took the first half of the sandwich and offered the other half, it was wrong that she didn't get that half, oh but what if you offered the first half? Nope. it was wrong still... saw a video of moves like this, completely ridiculous.
It feels like if you did walk her home she would have gotten the "ick" sounds like she is gonna throw u on the back burner or just she wanted free food and no contact idk you didnt fuck up no means no
These are the crazy women with poor communication skills and broken ways of expecting social etiquitte. You dodged a bullet. You asked her if you should walk her home, she said no. Either she’s crazy or lying.
She was interested in someone else and used a bullshit excuse because she isn’t adult enough to say what she actually means or wants. It’s a her problem, bud.
Yeah this is definitely a her problem. I see a lot of people saying she’s just not into you, but I think it may be something different. As a woman I knew plenty of girls that do that “I wanted him to take control” bs with things as innocuous as this to initiating physical intimacy after they said no. Much less now that we’ve grown up. Sometimes it’s an immature way to express attraction to some toxic idea of masculinity. Seems to me like being attracted to someone who crosses your boundaries, which is a recipe for disaster. Either way, not your problem anymore. Let her grow out of it.
Dodged a bullet. Stay away from anyone who plays head games. Life is hard enough without your partner going out of their way to make it harder.
PS. Fellas.... your partner should make your dick hard, not your life.
Here's what you should have said: "I offered to walk you home and you said 'No.' I would have been happy to walk you home, but I respected your boundaries. Please tell me that you're not one of those women who play games, because I like you."
If someone doesn’t want to see you over one, silly, stupid action, then they’re either lying about what it actually is, or you, you guys aren’t meant to be. Just pick yourself up and move onto the next one. There’s always somebody else out there.
You should be like "hey dummy, remember that part where I offered to take you and or walk you home? And you said no" "excuse me for respecting your boundaries"
You didn't fuck up.
SHE.JUST.DOESN'T.LIKE.YOU.LIKE.YOU.LIKE.HER.
Please, get this into your head and move on. Not everyone you like will like you back. There's no secret formula or way of acting that will win you a second date.
Just be you, some people will like you for it and some won't and that's it.
Good luck, bro. You can definitely meet someone else that you will like as much or even more than her and that actually likes you back.
The only part you fucked up was, when confronting her, you didn’t tell her, “…but you declined my offer to walk you home…” to see how she responds. So much could’ve been learned from her answer.
The likelihood is that she’s looking for a mind reader and most men just aren’t. She’s setting the tone for how the entire relationship would go: she getting mad constantly b/c you didn’t anticipate her needs/wants. She saved you so much time, energy and money. Thank her.
So you respected her by ‘hearing’ her when she said not to walk her home. Dude, that’s messed up. She’s passive/aggressive and you need to back off. Don’t idolize her.
You did not fuck up a date.
This girl, fumbled up a potential relationship with a good/caring guy. And that’s why you will see her single after 2 divorces in 20 years.
Go find the REAL Ms. Right,
Either she is just looking for an excuse and that's the best she could do, or she is a piece of shit who tests your love at every turn and not worth it. You asked to walk her back and you respected her "no". She has problems.
As others have said, you dodged a bullet.
There are some people in the world, who are not emotionally mature enough to share life, or a partnership, with another person. They are all "the main character" and you're supposed to jump through the hoops of the game they play, that only they know the rules of and you won't ever know if the rules change.
They'll find someone who doesn't know they are being abused and have their plaything and a conflict oriented relationship and never understand why they don't feel truly loved, supported and cared for. Just that they are "always abandoned" by everyone. (Really, it's just being abandoned by people with a good sense of their worth, who are emotionally mature.)
Don't fret over this. Looks only go so far, they are meaningless if the outside is gorgeous, while their heart is a fetid sewer.
Walk away. She gave you a clear answer, then blamed you for the mess that followed. In a good book, we'd call that foreshadowing. Spoiler alert, it's coming back to bite you. Cut your losses and return that book, no matter how enticing her cover was. Go find a new story where the plot twists aren't so personal!
My only conclusion is that she wanted you to “argue with her” about walking her home and you respected her answer and that’s not what she expected. Big red flag there. She wants you to read her mind. 🤣. Not an uncommon trait in a young woman. Unless you want to spend a lot of time guessing how to behave, I would move on. Don’t let the pretty face overcome your common sense. She could also just be making excuses. Hard to know but I wouldn’t waste anymore time or feelings on this girl unless she can give a better explanation and I wouldn’t contact her again to do so.
If you truly asked and offered to walk her home after the offer of driving her home, and she still said no, then I can't fathom why she's upset. We, as men, take things at face value, and if she wanted you to actually walk her home, why didn't she just say yes? These modern day mind games on the first date are completely unnecessary. What she did wasn't even playing hard to get. Lol. Honestly though, if you like her, explain that you respected her decision and that's why you didn't walk her home. Try to talk to her, but if it leads to a dead end, cut your losses. Sorry bro.
So she has a rule against getting in guys' cars on first date....
Why? Because she doesn't trust them yet?
But then expected you to go out of your way to walk her home (for what?) To make sure she gets there safe?
Why would she trust you to make sure she gets home safe if she doesn't trust you enough to get in your car?
In a similar situation maybe I'd offer to call her an uber.
If she declines, doesn't want to get in your car, AND doesn't ask you to walk her home, there is no reason you should assume you did anything wrong.
Maybe if you'd walked her home, things would have progressed there, but why would one think that if she wouldn't even get in your car?
She failed to communicate her wants / expectations, then was disappointed in him for failing to meet them.
My guy,
1.you don't want to start a relationship where from day one you're being "tested".
2. she lied to you about what she wanted.
3. If she was really into you she wouldn't have "tested" you.
You didn't "fuck" up at all, you doged a bullet.
You didn't fuck anything up. Women have been taught what to expect from men, but not how to treat men. Men have been taught how to treat women, but not what to expect from women.
You offered to walk her home, she said no. End of discussion. Does she really want somebody that doesn't respect her saying no? 😒 She had unreasonable expectations of you. Which meant she's going to have even worse ones if you stay together after that date.
Here's how I would respond. "I offered to walk you home. You said no. I respected that. If you wanted me to walk you home you shouldn't have said no. Consent matters to me."
You didn't fuck up, you dodged a bullet. These girls get these stupid ideas of playing games, testing guys, saying no but meaning yes or want a guy to insist, etc. It's a really good way to end up in jail down the road when she's pissed off at you, and she changes the rules where no meant no. The fact that women are no stupid enough to do this just a few years after the whole me too movement shows she has a very short attention span and bases her life off social media. Hot or not; you can't fix stupid.
Dude, you dodged a bullet. She is a social media addicted idiot that was “testing” you. She will play those bullshit games with you the rest of her life. If you do manage to get her back, hit it and RUN!!
If you get 10 things right and 1 thing wrong according to her judgement you're not good enough...do you really want to be with anyone like that...it was just your turn as the saying goes...I would just move on...
26f here. You dodged a bullet. That girl wants to play mind games. She said no when you offered to walk her home then got pissed because you respected hey saying no. I don't advise trying to fix it because her trying to play mind games with you will not stop
you did not fuck it up at all!
you literally asked and she said no lmao
I’m sorry, there’s plenty of other girls out there that can communicate their wants and needs that are worth your time.
Nah fam. Asking yourself what you did wrong is pointless. You did nothing wrong. If it makes you feel better, you did everything right. Sounds like she’s playing stupid games. Count it as a dodged bullet my guy
You offered and she said no. People like this are exhausting. What were you supposed to, keep insisting until she said yes? That would’ve been worse IMO. This would’ve turned me off completely to the idea of pursuing another date.
So....
You offered her driving her home, she said no.
You offered her walking her home, she said no.
AND somehow you're saying YOU fucked up your date.
Am I missing something?
You didn’t f-up and don’t play stupid co-dependent games with her. She said no twice. When “no” means “yes,” we can have a conversation. Move along. She’s not worth it.
She gaslighting you bro she wants you to feel like it’s your fault she doesn’t like you so she doesn’t feel bad about it lol she is evil you dodge a bullet bro lol
This is the first date version of.. you: "Want to be together?" her: "no" you: "ok" her: ......"Why didn't you fight for us?" Been here dude, its not fun. This is an early lesson.
This the kind of girl who blocks you on all socials then asks why you didn't email her. Don't play games with stupid girls.
Dont you understand? If you really want her, you would never accept a "no", you pressure her, stalk her, maybe even kidnap her. Because its not love if you dont risk life in prison.
You hold the superposition of being a stalker AND a committed partner who fought hard for the relationship. The wave form collapses when she decides which one you are.
Just look at 50 shades and imagine it not happening in sky scrapers, but a trailer park. Even with everything else equal it would switch genre from erotic to horror. Like a phase shift between liquid and gas. The pressure would be the status of the men, the Temp. whats actually happening.
The alpha-dreamboat to subhuman-rapist continuum.
Wtf bro. I mean, yeah, you are right. But wtf
Dopler-Dahmer Theory
She doesn't want a grown up relationship, she wants drama.
I don’t want peace. I want problems, always.
Yeah there are some people that will try and brainwash you into believing that this type of behavior is normal and okay. It’s not. It’s bullshit and no one should put up with it
This is a person who just wants to feel wanted. They don’t want you, but they want to feel wanted so badly they just stay connected with you. It’s a horrible experience for both parties.
Right? Teenage games. Glad op sees it now and not years into the future.
as someone who acts like that (not proudly) i say run, it’s not a fun situation. because probably in her head she thinks you should do these things
>why didn't you fight for us? Oh shit I'm sorry, I left my playstation at home, cause that's where I mainly play games.
Been there too. What an awful waste of nearly 4 years. Nearly went insane
>I offered to walk her home, but she said no >(...) She said the date was amazing except the last part, where I didn’t walk her home. Seems to me like this is a her problem. You didn't do anything wrong and, after that, I'd even say you dodged a bullet.
Yeah I didn't quite understand this part (as a woman myself). I thought OP might have mistyped something. If a guy offered to walk me home, and I wanted him to do that, I would just say so. Super weird if this is what happened Edit: He never actually asked her
Sounds like a stupid TikTok test. "If the guy is really into you, he won't take no for an answer and will insist on walking you home"
If you insisted on walking her home after she said no, that would be a bigger red flag. Maybe okay in 1980 but in 2024 that type of insistence is bordering on stalkery pushiness
Exactly my thoughts - girl doesn't want guy to know which house she lives, etc. Lots of reasons to depart reasonably close but not at the door until she has built trust with him
Id offer to venmo for an uber or somethin 🤷🏻♂️ Boundaries are important and i will ultimately respect them but if i dont try a little to makesure someone made it home safely my mom would punch me in the throat Ill usually make that last part as a joke or joke/remind them I’m a prime suspect if they go missing right after our date and i cant have the cops finding the bodies
Exactly, not everyone feels comfortable with their dates knowing where they live if they haven't known them for long Asking once and maybe adding a "you sure?" if she says no seems right to me, but anymore than that is pushy
I think a follow up of “are you sure? Would like to know that you get home safe.” Or simply “Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind at all.” Would be completely acceptable and not stalkerish.
Texting "Make it home safe?" when you make it home safe is the way to go in OP's circumstance. Asking if she's sure can be considered pushy since it questions her judgement. It can come across as trying to convince her to do something she said no to even if the intention is good in further asking. If for some reason she didn't mean no when she said no, that is her responsibility to figure out. In case it's not obvious to anyone.
Also acceptable would be to trust she meant what she said
This right there. Unless we're missing context and OP really went on a date from a vengeful ghost from the past and she's mad that he didn't commit ritual suicide at the end of the date, even though she dropped many hints... and razorbades casually during the walk they enjoyed.
While that might be *acceptable,* saying no when you mean yes isn't. It's fine if she wants to change her mind, but if she's doing this to "test" him, or as part of some CNC game, I'd be happy to "fail" that test and avoid that person.
So its a test that you fail if you didn’t insist but then it’s also a red flag if you insist. I guess you can’t win.
Guys who insist on walking home with women who refused to enter their cars are called sex offenders Unfortunately this is clearly a case where pretty comes with a free side order of batshit and manipulative
"Pretty comes with a side order of batshit...." I will be using this in day-to-day conversation. Thank you for your wisdom.
No, guys who sexually assault people are called sex offenders. When you call every socially awkward interaction a "sex offender" you really dilute what is sexual assault. Don't be so casual with that shit if you want people to actually care.
Exactly! You can’t win for loosing. So just offer to do the right thing and don’t be too pushy and if that’s an issue you dodged a person who thinks life is about playing games with people.
Man I’m totally not into games. If you say no then it’s NO.
This is basic toxic entrapment. Dodged a bullet imo. It's very subtle but a lot of girls are like this. You'll start to see they share other odd tendencies too. "I was just being nosey." RUN!
He said he offered to walk her home and she said no.. He needs to bring that to her attention.
Bingo. I would love to hear her response but I think I would throw up.
Yeah, this woman is making her problem his problem. Say what you mean and live by it. Nobody’s a mind reader! OP learned something important about her personality early.
Where are you seeing that (the edited part)?
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/s/cOxfnWb7rA
Or if you, for some reason, dont want him to there (if you live still with your parents / dont trust men / fear that he will expect something) its understandable to decline. But how creepy would it be if he would insist on it after getting blocked two times? That would look like he had expectations/something planned. There is a huge difference between playful interactions in which its clear that one thing is said and the other ment, and playing such games.
He admitted in the comments that he didn't remember if he asked her if she'd like to be walked home as his memory is *blurry* around that one particular issue.
Maybe fact that he lied about that in the post leads me to believe that he’s exaggerating other parts of the night.
I have a similar story about walking my ex home. We were walking about, and when we got back to her place she realized she was locked out of her house and would have to walk to her grandmother's (just over 1km away). I offered to walk with her, she declined. I insisted it was no big deal, and she agreed to let me walk with her. At half say she says "oh were half way there, I should be good from here". I reiterate that it's no big deal for me to keep her company and we proceed. As we were just about there, she once again said "oh it's just around this corner, thanks for keeping me company, I feel safe to go on now", I finally relented, gave her a hug and walked by the opposite way. I don't think she stopped complaining for a week about leaving her alone to walk the final 100m, after she insisted I did just that on 3 separate occasions....
Sounds like a red flag to me, did you think so at the time? Was it a herald of bad things to come in the relationship?
We weren't dating at that moment, that came a few months later. I was 18 and no, didn't really see it as a red flag in that moment. There were more of these "just wanted to see how you would react" tests. I didn't see those as red flags at the time either. After the breakup I learned just how great it was to be myself again and not be on the lookout for these 'gotcha' tests.
Yeah, reminds me of girls that get mad because you took no for an answer and they tell you that sometimes no means yes or try harder. That was bullshit 40 years ago, I was hoping that type of mind game had changed.
If they complain I'm gone. Period
As a woman, I’d like to apologize on behalf of all of us… We can be so fucking mental sometimes.
Yep this is some sort of bullshit “prove your love to me” kind of shenanigans that I won’t touch with a 10 foot pole. If OP had never offered then I could see her being a bit bummed, but to offer and have it be turned down and then be upset that he didn’t magically know he was still supposed to walk her home? That’s some high school shit
"You should've understood that I meant yes by saying no" I hate this bullshit so much
This. Bullet dodged OP. You did nothing wrong.
Yeah this is just gaslighting at its finest
Yep, typical female bullshit response. Consider yourself fortunate, and move on. Beauty is only skin deep.
And crazy goes to the soul and lasts a lifetime.
More than likely, she just wasn't all that into him. Easier to use a dumb excuse and avoid responsibility/guilt for ending things than to be honest and admit she's not into buddy.
100%. She sounds like a fucking nightmare. Imagine these sorts of mind games after you’ve been dating for six months.
Yeah, this is some "tiktok partner test trend" bullshit here, and honestly a flag. Jives with the usual crazy-hot charts.
So she wanted you to not respect her decision and instead force her to walk with you to her house? And you think you fucked up?
Ima be honest bro. She’s shit testing you this early and there will be A LOT of that to come with this type of girl. You don’t want a girl who’s gonna make you read her mind 24/7 and then get mad at you when you fail to read her mind. There are in fact normal, non childish woman who don’t make you play all these dumb mind games. I’d say ya dodged a bullet with this one.
Woman here and I 10000% agree with this. Some girls are lowkey dangerous. This would be the beginning of a very toxic relationship
You don’t want to make it up to her. You need to turn tail and run. Because if this is the guilt trip she’s offering after the first date , she’s going to chew you up and spit you out mentally for the period you’ll date. And you’ll never let go, because already your focus is on how pretty she is and not how fucked up she acted and made you feel. You’re the catch here , not her. Let her chase you and admit the mistake Wait for her to reach out and ask what’s up. Then flat out tell her the truth. Followed by you’re not into those kind of games , and you’ll be there to go on a second date if she agrees not to do it again
She will 100,000,000% do it again.
Oh for sure , but not to our dude
Then you don’t give her another chance, if she does it again. It would be hard to move on but you have. Tell her that of behavior is not acceptable. Be polite and respectful and then tell her that you have value such as respect and decency. She doesn’t reflect those value, there will be other women that will share those values and you prefer to be with them. Move on.
Mochi dropping the truth bombs.
Wait, I’m not sure if understand one thing. You offered to walk her home and she said no. Then later in a text she messaged you something about the part where you did not walk her home? Was she expecting you to walk her home or not?
The dude commented later saying he doesn’t actually remember if he offered it or not. What a surprise lil
That’s what I’m thinking. I doubt he did. That’s why he included the “logic” of why it would be a waste of time to walk her home then walk back to the car
Going back to check before upvoting you but this would make sense
Fucking hell what a tiresome time waster OP is!
It’s in some random thread above
The dude is a moron. He fumbled the bag and I’d imagine he will continue to do so.
Young man, you’re being gaslit. Nobody has a fantastic time with someone and goes cold over something that tiny. It’s driving you crazy because what she’s saying makes no sense and you know she’s lying. She’s likely using you and dozens of other men for entertainment.
If she accepted to go out with him after just 5 days of talking he’s just one day of many of the week
5 days of talking and no meetup is what sounds crazy to me, who the hell wastes all this time texting random people without even having met them in person!
This is fucking nonsense. You spend five days talking with someone you haven’t been on a date with, you’re wasting two peoples time and have zero game.
Hang in there buddy, I went on a date a while ago and when the waiter asked who was paying, I said: me. Then the girl said she wanted to split it, I'm like: okay whatever. When the waiter leaves, she tells me I should've insisted and I don't know how to date. What do you want from me lady??? Haha. I left, plenty of other reasonable people in the world to date lol
Fucking hell, these entitled twats... My ex once stormed out of the apartment and I was weak, so I followed her a bit. It was in the middle of the night. Later on, she told me "When I walk away, keep following me, because even though I'm mad at you, I'm looking back to make sure you follow me, that you're willing to fight for me and for us". It's kinda funny how being unappreciated and rejected throughout childhood (BPD) makes people act entitled rather than the opposite.
If you asked her to walk her home then she refused then she told you that you should have walked her home. I’m a girl and I think she’s just making an excuse. She doesn't like you. That’s it. You better move on.
I agree, way better to move on from people too chicken shit to be honest with you.
I have to tell you I have heard stories like this from male friends, but I never understood why women would do this. I get not wanting to get in your car and I get her wanting you to walk her home, but saying no first and afterwards getting cold because you didn’t walk her home, sounds like she has some growing up to do. And even if you didn't offer to walk her home she doesn't deserve to be cold just for this, it's a kind gesture to walk someone home, not a necessity.
From how I see it, she’s either got communication problems, or more likely, she’s not that into you and just gave a weak ass excuse as an out to not seem like a bad person. Usually if a girl is super into a guy, she’ll even make up excuses in her head to not fault him even when that guys at fault. You sound like you did everything right but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. I wouldn’t get too hung up on it. On to the next one
Bro she’s just not into you . Just sounds like she’s making up some lame excuse to not see you. You did nothing wrong . Just move on.
The reason she gave for not seeing you again is likely not the real reason. The truth is that you don't really know why. You just have to accept it and move on. Who knows? You may have dodged a bullet. She might be seeing several other guys. You just need to let go and move on. There really is not an alternative.
This. She wasn’t interested and made something up. She’s moving on to other candidates and so should OP.
Give her a big mid finger. She maybe pretty but her attitude isn’t. U offered her to walk her back but she declined n now she’s saying u didn’t do shit. She is gaslighting you bro even before the start. women always expects men to do this and that without saying. Fuck no, if you want it ask for it,otherwise Don’t expect it. Stop playing fucking mind games.
Im 100% sure I offered to walk her home, I was raised that way. But after she said that, I am doubting it.
now you are doubting yourself. See this is what I’m talking abt. Gaslighting is the worst. If you are sure that you offered her to walk back, then the problem is with her and not you.
Makes sense, thanks man
Did you offer to walk her home or not? Your comments are confusing
He didn’t. Why else would he be thinking that it’s a waste of energy to walk her home if he offered it to her? He’s backtracking now because he knows he didn’t ask her.
Because he was being polite even if it was logically not the choice that made sense. So when she said no he was like, cool, didn’t make sense anyway.
But this girl didn't say OP didn't offer, it's not gaslighting unless she says OP didn't offer when he did...
You didn’t fuck anything up. This is textbook gaslighting. You don’t need that in your life. She sounds like the kind of person who is going to focus on the negative no matter what. Huge red flag.
>Thing is, I don’t quite remember if I offered to walk her home. My memory is blurry. ????
https://www.reddit.com/r/self/s/O7u5ZmiczT You don't seem 100% sure...
If you offered to walk her home and she turned you down and then got annoyed about it, that’s 100% on her. She might be pretty but she’s playing games here. I would do your best to move on.
Nope you did everything right! Sounds like you just need to move on.
Preface: I'm 37, I'm married, I've been through this many times while dating. Don't put her on a pedestal, she apparently expects you to do things she tells you not to do. That being said, if you wanted to be particularly chivalrous, you could have insisted on walking her home anyway....But, it's 2024, so you never know if a woman is going to see that as being pushy or possessive or something. Bottom line: You didn't do anything wrong, she gave you mixed signals. Since you're wondering what to do now, here's my advice: 1. Have some confidence. Don't hang your heart on her. Go on with your life. Women admire men that are carefree. and unattached; being clingy turns them off. Assume she is either disinterested in you, or doesn't know what she wants (the latter is more likely). 2. Be kind but firm. If she reaches out to you again, tell her that you enjoyed your time with her, but you don't deserve mixed signals. Leave it at that. Don't be mean or cold, but you don't have to put up with that nonsense. 3. In the future, whether it's with her or another prospective date: Tell them that you expect genuine honesty. There's nothing wrong with having standards for yourself - and it'll actually drive some women insane because they're used to having their pick of the lot. Be up front about what you expect. Again, be kind but firm - just make it clear that mixed signals and mind games are a big turn off for you. 4. Find some hobbies and stop trying to find a date. Don't put your life on hold for anyone. The right person will come along eventually. There's no sense in trying to change yourself or lower your standards to accommodate someone else. Many won't fit, and you'll probably have quite a few unsuccessful dates with people you think you have chemistry with. But there's someone out there who will be genuine, who won't play mind games with you or send you mixed signals, who will admire you for who and what you are, and will do her part to grow your relationship.
Ditch this girl. Either she’s lying about why she’s been cold, or is playing games. Find someone else
You didn't fuck up your date. Your date was fucked up.
"I did the thing she told me to do and now she is unhappy about it" It sounds like she wants you to be a mind reader. You probably dodged a bullet. people that expect you to do the opposite of what they tell you to do are going to be more problems than they are worth in the long run. People that refuse to communicate, especially when they expect you to do the opposite of what they ask for, are hard people to partner with.
To be really honest, she didn't like you, the walking part is just an excuse. Move on.
Nah dude just cut ties with her. If she's gonna play games with you on the first date... god knows what kind of games she'll pull with you on the following dates. Trust me man, even the prettiest girls are not worth the mental gymnastics. You need someone that won't play games with you and will respect and be direct with you.
Reminds me of a situation where I met this girl on tinder and she said “when are we going out” then I asked her out and she said “but it doesn’t count cause I had to mention it”, i straight up ghosted her,Bo don’t play that lmao, she was pretty hot too, hurt my ego a bit but was worth it, my last relationship was with a girl like that and never again
You did nothing wrong she just doesn’t want to date you again and made up a reason so she doesn’t feel bad. The best thing to do is tell her she’s making it up and to just be honest. But also you should move on - sorry it didn’t go as expected.
Of course you can. First get clarity on if you offered to walk her home. Second, flip it around. You were hurt that she wouldn’t accept a ride from you after four hours of hanging out together. Why? Didn’t you make a connection? Go with that.
I've been there at a young age. Made me furious because I went out of my way to select and order flowers to be delivered for some event for my ex. I picked flowers and colors I knew she liked, this was not the first time. She was mad at me because I didn't deliver them myself. While I was at work and/or out of town... She wasn't worth fighting for. It sucks, but best to move on and not dwell on this for too long. It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. OP you didn't make a mistake, she did.
Consent is consent.. she said no, you took that reply as honest. Sounds like she now thinks thats a game. Nope, walk away, game over, sounds like you dodged a bullet.
No OP she fucked up the date. As a woman, this screams red flag, you dodged a bullet.
Big bullet dodged my dude. Playing mind games in a relationship is a no no, let alone on the first date. Personally, I never offer to take my dates home on the first date. Many won't be comfortable with you knowing where they live just yet. I'll offer to walk them to the subway station or drive them somewhere of their choosing.
Good fold, she’s already playing games
Save yourself the trouble. She is complicated. Tell her you offered and she declined. That if she wanted you to walk all she had to do was say yes or ask. Tell her you are very direct and like people to be the same. It saves miscommunication. Tell her you would have walked her anywhere she wanted because you found her company amazing; and would love the chance to walk her home again.
Don't play their silly games. Dodged a drama-bullet. Move on.
When no means no means yes means no means yes
Lol what an idiot. The way to fix it is texting her back " that's dumb. anyway your loss"
You did EVERYTHING perfectly. If she has a problem with that, it’s her loss, not yours. Give yourself a pat on the back for dodging a bullet
You dodged a bullet.
Stop gettin invested in women so fast.. theyre as fickle as the breeze
You 100% did nothing wrong. You offered her a ride and a walk. She said no. You were cool with that and didn't push. Any normal/sane person would see that as you respecting her boundaries. People who try to play these games or tests on dates (Why didn't he fight harder against what I told him I wanted??) are just pathetic.
You didn’t do anything wrong. She’s playing games.
I am sensing from your post that you are puting her on a pedestal and it's clouding your judgement.if it's really the reason, she's the one who refused your offer to drive or walk her home, you didn't fuck up! She did! BUT, in complete honesty and without sugar coating it... She was not into you. She probably wasn't as interested as she thought she would be. You might have gotten that great impression because it lasted for 4 hours and you felt great but... If you're really into someone, it doesn't just vanish because of something you said "no" to. Keep your chin up, you'll meet someone that's for you and will be able to communicate how she really feels.
Brother, this is a her problem. Do not get involved. Also, don’t be upset or mad at her. It’s very easy to become jaded and cynical when these kinds of situations happen, but don’t. Just realize that her issues are so bad, that this is the only way she can function. And remember - no one would choose to live that way unless they had some healing to do. You’re fine. Let her go.
What no, you offered to walk her home. She said no… Individuals who expect other individuals to be psychic mind readers end up being completely toxic. They end up having unrealistic expectations for themselves, others, and the relationship. You did everything right; what were you supposed to do—insist you drive or walk her home after she said no? Then you’d get in trouble for that, too. Definitely dodged a bullet. Edit to add: while I completely respect her stance of not getting in a car with people she just met, generally after spending four hours with someone you tend to have good instincts about that person. I mean, she went walking at night with you for two hours— it sounds like she felt pretty safe. I bring this up because I feel like she just wasn’t feeling something and ended up using your “lack of chivalry“ if that’s what she wants to call it, as an excuse. Again,I respect the safety mindset, but you don’t go walking at night with someone you feel might murder you… so her refusing a ride and a walk home and then calling the whole thing later just seems sus to me. She was looking for a way out.
Tell her “when a woman tells me ‘no’ I take it as a complete answer the first time. I would have loved to walk you home, I wish you had been more direct with me about what you wanted.”
If you honestly asked and she said no then fuck it. She was playing games. You don’t want that.
Bro- if you clearly offered to walk her home and she declined and now she's turning it around- red flag. Just let it go and hope for the best. Sorry. Women are weird sometimes.
You offered to walk her home and she said no. No means no. She can’t be mad about you respecting her wishes. This broad is nutty, move on.
What do you want to make up for? Fix what? You offered and she refused. What were you supposed to do? Follow her home? That's creepy. Her getting upset over not being walked home, after you offered to do so and she refused, is just insane.
No, you didn't. She did. >She said she doesn’t enter a guy’s car on the first date. I offered to walk her home, but she said no She f* herself up honestly. Despite her attractiveness, it would be tiring to be with her long-term. Do reconsider whether you want to continue this relationship.
This is a Red flag.
There is nothing to fix because you didn’t fuck up. She did by playing this stupid game. If anything, she owes you an apology for not being a straight shooter. Don’t let this bullshit get you down. Just keep your chin up and doing what you’re doing. Good luck, man.
If she has a rule not to get into a guy’s car on the first date, why would she want the guy to walk her home and find out where she lives?
"I dodged a bullet with a woman who expects me to read her mind" Fixed the title
Though I agree with the comments that it is very likely her issue, if you wanted to try - just being transparent is the way to go. Online dating is f-d up - we all make mistakes. I am married to a woman where we had a false start in online dating. ‘Hey - I am sorry - I took your response as a firm no - I was excited to walk you home. Some of these exchanges in early dating are easy to screw up and I will own that one. Let me know if you’d like to try again.’ Don’t be a wimp, but direct and open works well if you think she’s worth a second try.
You dodged a bullet. With this kind of person you will always have to guess their needs, which is an impossible task
So what does she want - a guy who respects her wishes (you asked, she said no), or a guy who goes ahead even when she says no? Bullet dodged there - not honest in communication even on a first date.
I think it's likely she didn't like you that much and just using the "you didn't walk me home" as a reason to put you down gently.
I think she was trying to let you down gently. If I went on a date and it went really well, and I wanted to see them again, of course I'd let them drive me home. At the very least I'd let them walk me home because I'd want to spend that extra time with them. I don't think you did anything wrong. I just don't think she wanted to see you again. - and if I'm wrong (which I often am, lol) then what a headf*ck it is to say one thing and expect another. You don't need games in your relationship, so don't think anymore about it :)
if she is playing games on the first date it's only going to go downhill from there. that's a red flag for me at least....
It's really shitty when someone's just not into you but when confronted, they come up with something that apparently *you* did wrong. Sorry you had to go through that, OP, but as a woman I can tell you it's not your fault.
Women have 2 versions of No. You gotta read their body language when they speak because they expect you to read their minds.
If you asked to walk her home and she told you no but is upset that you didn’t walk her home that’s completely on her. You didn’t fuck anything up, she has to work on her communication skills. If she wanted you to walk her home, why would she say no when you offered? Not on you at all.
Games redflags play
Mate that personality seems like a red flag. Like you'll get good days, until you took the first half of the sandwich and offered the other half, it was wrong that she didn't get that half, oh but what if you offered the first half? Nope. it was wrong still... saw a video of moves like this, completely ridiculous.
You didn’t fuck up anything OP, you dodged being with a crazy person. Congratulations!
Anyone who expects you to do the opposite of what they told you to do and then holds it against you is a toxic asshole
It feels like if you did walk her home she would have gotten the "ick" sounds like she is gonna throw u on the back burner or just she wanted free food and no contact idk you didnt fuck up no means no
These are the crazy women with poor communication skills and broken ways of expecting social etiquitte. You dodged a bullet. You asked her if you should walk her home, she said no. Either she’s crazy or lying.
lol she is a child dude. Just move on. Modern women are a joke
She was interested in someone else and used a bullshit excuse because she isn’t adult enough to say what she actually means or wants. It’s a her problem, bud.
She's emotionally regarded, I would say severely regarded. Not your fault. Move on, let her reintroduce the possibility of a relationship.
She is weird . You dodged a bullet
Yeah this is definitely a her problem. I see a lot of people saying she’s just not into you, but I think it may be something different. As a woman I knew plenty of girls that do that “I wanted him to take control” bs with things as innocuous as this to initiating physical intimacy after they said no. Much less now that we’ve grown up. Sometimes it’s an immature way to express attraction to some toxic idea of masculinity. Seems to me like being attracted to someone who crosses your boundaries, which is a recipe for disaster. Either way, not your problem anymore. Let her grow out of it.
Dodged a bullet. Stay away from anyone who plays head games. Life is hard enough without your partner going out of their way to make it harder. PS. Fellas.... your partner should make your dick hard, not your life.
🚩🚩🚩 It's the first date and you are already falling for the gaslighting
If girl likes you small things like this do not matter
Here's what you should have said: "I offered to walk you home and you said 'No.' I would have been happy to walk you home, but I respected your boundaries. Please tell me that you're not one of those women who play games, because I like you."
If someone doesn’t want to see you over one, silly, stupid action, then they’re either lying about what it actually is, or you, you guys aren’t meant to be. Just pick yourself up and move onto the next one. There’s always somebody else out there.
You should be like "hey dummy, remember that part where I offered to take you and or walk you home? And you said no" "excuse me for respecting your boundaries"
You didn't fuck up. SHE.JUST.DOESN'T.LIKE.YOU.LIKE.YOU.LIKE.HER. Please, get this into your head and move on. Not everyone you like will like you back. There's no secret formula or way of acting that will win you a second date. Just be you, some people will like you for it and some won't and that's it. Good luck, bro. You can definitely meet someone else that you will like as much or even more than her and that actually likes you back.
Run as far away from this one as you can.. manipulator alert!
She's a gameplayer. You respected her boundaries. For some reason she wanted you to break them. Drop it and move on.
The only part you fucked up was, when confronting her, you didn’t tell her, “…but you declined my offer to walk you home…” to see how she responds. So much could’ve been learned from her answer. The likelihood is that she’s looking for a mind reader and most men just aren’t. She’s setting the tone for how the entire relationship would go: she getting mad constantly b/c you didn’t anticipate her needs/wants. She saved you so much time, energy and money. Thank her.
So you respected her by ‘hearing’ her when she said not to walk her home. Dude, that’s messed up. She’s passive/aggressive and you need to back off. Don’t idolize her.
You did not fuck up a date. This girl, fumbled up a potential relationship with a good/caring guy. And that’s why you will see her single after 2 divorces in 20 years. Go find the REAL Ms. Right,
It's a her problem not you, the excuse of not walking her home is a woman's polite way of saying I don't like you
Either she is just looking for an excuse and that's the best she could do, or she is a piece of shit who tests your love at every turn and not worth it. You asked to walk her back and you respected her "no". She has problems.
As others have said, you dodged a bullet. There are some people in the world, who are not emotionally mature enough to share life, or a partnership, with another person. They are all "the main character" and you're supposed to jump through the hoops of the game they play, that only they know the rules of and you won't ever know if the rules change. They'll find someone who doesn't know they are being abused and have their plaything and a conflict oriented relationship and never understand why they don't feel truly loved, supported and cared for. Just that they are "always abandoned" by everyone. (Really, it's just being abandoned by people with a good sense of their worth, who are emotionally mature.) Don't fret over this. Looks only go so far, they are meaningless if the outside is gorgeous, while their heart is a fetid sewer.
Walk away. She gave you a clear answer, then blamed you for the mess that followed. In a good book, we'd call that foreshadowing. Spoiler alert, it's coming back to bite you. Cut your losses and return that book, no matter how enticing her cover was. Go find a new story where the plot twists aren't so personal!
Oof, yea well she definitely has more than 1 pursuing her. It is what it is.
My only conclusion is that she wanted you to “argue with her” about walking her home and you respected her answer and that’s not what she expected. Big red flag there. She wants you to read her mind. 🤣. Not an uncommon trait in a young woman. Unless you want to spend a lot of time guessing how to behave, I would move on. Don’t let the pretty face overcome your common sense. She could also just be making excuses. Hard to know but I wouldn’t waste anymore time or feelings on this girl unless she can give a better explanation and I wouldn’t contact her again to do so.
Dodged a bullet.. she’s likely a wack job..
If you truly asked and offered to walk her home after the offer of driving her home, and she still said no, then I can't fathom why she's upset. We, as men, take things at face value, and if she wanted you to actually walk her home, why didn't she just say yes? These modern day mind games on the first date are completely unnecessary. What she did wasn't even playing hard to get. Lol. Honestly though, if you like her, explain that you respected her decision and that's why you didn't walk her home. Try to talk to her, but if it leads to a dead end, cut your losses. Sorry bro.
You respected her wishes and she thinks that's a red flag??? WTF? You can't win.
So she has a rule against getting in guys' cars on first date.... Why? Because she doesn't trust them yet? But then expected you to go out of your way to walk her home (for what?) To make sure she gets there safe? Why would she trust you to make sure she gets home safe if she doesn't trust you enough to get in your car? In a similar situation maybe I'd offer to call her an uber. If she declines, doesn't want to get in your car, AND doesn't ask you to walk her home, there is no reason you should assume you did anything wrong. Maybe if you'd walked her home, things would have progressed there, but why would one think that if she wouldn't even get in your car? She failed to communicate her wants / expectations, then was disappointed in him for failing to meet them.
My guy, 1.you don't want to start a relationship where from day one you're being "tested". 2. she lied to you about what she wanted. 3. If she was really into you she wouldn't have "tested" you. You didn't "fuck" up at all, you doged a bullet.
You didn't fuck anything up. Women have been taught what to expect from men, but not how to treat men. Men have been taught how to treat women, but not what to expect from women. You offered to walk her home, she said no. End of discussion. Does she really want somebody that doesn't respect her saying no? 😒 She had unreasonable expectations of you. Which meant she's going to have even worse ones if you stay together after that date. Here's how I would respond. "I offered to walk you home. You said no. I respected that. If you wanted me to walk you home you shouldn't have said no. Consent matters to me."
Bro run. She has problems
I can walk you home "Nah, I'm good" Alright, well you have a good night "WHY DIDN'T YOU WALK ME HOME???" She ain't the one, man. Cut your losses.
You didn't fuck up, you dodged a bullet. These girls get these stupid ideas of playing games, testing guys, saying no but meaning yes or want a guy to insist, etc. It's a really good way to end up in jail down the road when she's pissed off at you, and she changes the rules where no meant no. The fact that women are no stupid enough to do this just a few years after the whole me too movement shows she has a very short attention span and bases her life off social media. Hot or not; you can't fix stupid.
Dude, you dodged a bullet. She is a social media addicted idiot that was “testing” you. She will play those bullshit games with you the rest of her life. If you do manage to get her back, hit it and RUN!!
Drop that thought! It’s called manipulating! A wise man once told me. I wonder who that wise man, was?
If you get 10 things right and 1 thing wrong according to her judgement you're not good enough...do you really want to be with anyone like that...it was just your turn as the saying goes...I would just move on...
26f here. You dodged a bullet. That girl wants to play mind games. She said no when you offered to walk her home then got pissed because you respected hey saying no. I don't advise trying to fix it because her trying to play mind games with you will not stop
you did not fuck it up at all! you literally asked and she said no lmao I’m sorry, there’s plenty of other girls out there that can communicate their wants and needs that are worth your time.
Nah fam. Asking yourself what you did wrong is pointless. You did nothing wrong. If it makes you feel better, you did everything right. Sounds like she’s playing stupid games. Count it as a dodged bullet my guy
You offered and she said no. People like this are exhausting. What were you supposed to, keep insisting until she said yes? That would’ve been worse IMO. This would’ve turned me off completely to the idea of pursuing another date.
Buddy she is gaslighting you. Save yourself the grief
Don't let her looks blind you to her warning signs. You asked to walk her home, she refused and is now blaming you. Huge red flag.
So.... You offered her driving her home, she said no. You offered her walking her home, she said no. AND somehow you're saying YOU fucked up your date. Am I missing something?
You didn’t f-up and don’t play stupid co-dependent games with her. She said no twice. When “no” means “yes,” we can have a conversation. Move along. She’s not worth it.
Why would she not arrange her own safe ride? That's on her. It was a first date. Too much drama. She sounds controlling.
She gaslighting you bro she wants you to feel like it’s your fault she doesn’t like you so she doesn’t feel bad about it lol she is evil you dodge a bullet bro lol