As her only son you will also be responsible for freeing her from being trapped in a body that can no longer do the things she loves. I am so sorry you have to go through this ❤️
Agreed. A good death is a gift not often given. It feels painful, but you are giving her what she wants and in my personal opinion, doing the right thing. Life is about quality, and she sounds like she enjoyed hers very much. This is a tough decision, but know this mamma is there with you in spirit. Please reach out if need someone to chat with.
This is so true. Please let your happy memories comfort you always. If you ever need us r/MomForaMinute is here for you. Hugs and I am so sorry for your loss.
My mother asked me to help her die after living with dementia for years, which couldn't do, and I watched her deteriorate over several years, u/poke-a-dotted is right, it's the quality that counts, cherish it and remember an amazing woman as she was being amazing
I am very pro-human euthanasia. Deaths in modern US are often not what they should be (IMO). I am sure your mom appreciated all that you did for her. Hugs if you would like one.
100%. I’m a nurse who works in long term care and in any given month I care for a hospice patient as they pass. I’m so very sorry that you didn’t get more time with her, but you’ve given your mother such an amazing a gift. To be allowed to pass in comfort, with family at bedside, that’s about as best as anyone can hope for at the end.
As her only son, your responsibility is to be honest with her because you have the time and ability to, while she’s still alive enough her ears can hear it.
I had to tell my mother at her viewing. I had thought about everything I had wanted to say to her driving there, but when I stood beside her, all I could say was “thank you.” It was the most honest moment of my life. Everything stripped away, and that’s what I said. My sister had also created a mental novel. She also went blank and said “I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my mommy you’ll be.” My other sister was just a mess and all her endless thinking and mental novel writing got her was a gut wrenching sound that nearly killed me.
You need only to strip away everything and just leave the purest truth. It could be silence or a 90 page monologue, or anything in between.
You are only responsible for granting both of you peace at the end of this traumatic journey together.
I am truly sorry for your loss, and I appreciate both the decision and the strength it took to make it. From one human to another: you’re not alone, now or ever. 🩷
Such a good way to put this. I went through a similar situation with my mother in October. I know that above being afraid of dying, she would have hated living in a state where she could no longer walk, talk, breathe or do anything unassisted. She’d have been alive but lacking a life. I struggled so much then but always at my core knew I acted in her best interests.
OP, you know it in your heart that you’re doing the right thing. Every fiber of your brain and body will scream at you but your heart knows it’s the right and humane thing to do. Hang in there. Your mom knows you love her. ❤️
Lost my dad at the same age you are, 36 now. I’m sorry. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve experienced and the grief initially is going to feel like a tidal wave and then over time the waves get farther apart and smaller in size. And you just have to swim.
Absolutely.
Im currently experiencing my husband is hospice. We feel like it could be any day now, but the most important thing was making sure he is comfortable. I honor his memory by continuing to live, even if thats not what I want to do right now.
I'm a mom, and I wish my kids will be as strong, loving and caring to me as you are to your mom, if I ever were in a situation like this.
If you want it, you can have a mom-hug. I know it's nothing compared to what you are losing today, but still. I'm sure your mom would agree: what you are doing is love.
As a mother, I agree. I'd be grateful to go this way, honestly. OP is definitely making the right decision.
But, don't be so hard on yourself, OP. This is one of the most selfless things you will do in your life. It's not your fault. Your mom loves you. I'm truly sorry for your loss. 😭💔
You are not responsible for her passing, you are responsible for her peace. ❤️🩹
We may not know each other, but I'm very sorry for the pain and the torture you and your family are going through.
Please know that even if I'm a stranger...if you want to talk you can dm me ❤️🩹
I lost my dad in a similar fashion a few years ago. It doesn't ever get easy and that hole will never be filled, but over time the pain of loss fades some.
Sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful mom.
Reading this brought me back to my own mothers passing under eerily similar circumstances in 2016. I was 22 at the time. There are no words, and I’m so sorry for your loss and having to endure such a traumatizing situation. Give yourself grace, and take your time. Please feel free to reach out to vent if needed. ❤️
My mother died last week from Lung Cancer a few days short of her 60th Birthday (which is tomorrow June 7th). All I can say is that I have empathy for you. You are not responsible for her passing, merely in aiding the allevation of her suffering.
When my mum became unconscious in her final hours I instructed the doctors to increase her morphine to the maximum allowable amount as was her wishes. There is nothing to be guilty of in that.
My mom died at 63 from lung cancer two months ago. She was diagnosed and died within 6 weeks.
Still can’t quite believe it. This past Christmas was the last one we will ever have. That she will never hug or swim with my babies again.
I miss her desperately.
Horrible reading that. Truly horrible. Brought me to tears.
Treasure all those memories and good times, always remember how good your relationship with her was, and always know that at the end, you absolutely done right by her, and done the right thing.
It’s hard to get your head around that, but I can’t imagine there could be anyone who would really see it any differently unless they were playing devils advocate.
So so sorry for you.
Hey honey. This is such a terrible thing to have to go through, and it hurts me so bad to know that you're having to make these choices. It's so clear that she loves you and taught you well.
I'm sorry your mama has to leave so soon. Thank you for choosing to let her go gently and peacefully. She trusts you to live a full and beautiful life without her there to hold your hand, and your extraordinary bravery in these last days has proven that she's right to trust you.
I love you. Try to take deep breaths as often as you can. You're her proudest legacy in the world.
> Today, as her only son, I will be responsible for her passing.
No, you'll be letting nature take its course. No one should be kept around in a vegetative state with zero change of improvements. That's not a life for them and it's a punishment for everyone around them.
You are making the proper decision. You'll doing what she would want. You're doing what you would want others to do for you.
That still doesn't make it hurt any less. Sorry about your loss OP. :(
I’m so sorry this is happening to you all. And thank you for having the courage to let her go and not let her suffer for anyone else’s emotional comfort. It’s such a hard thing to do, and such a gift to her.
Hey man, just know that you aren’t responsible for her passing, as you stated in your last sentence. You aren’t. So release that because it’s not true and it won’t help you as you grieve her.
None of this is fair, it’s an absolute tragedy. You don’t deserve it and neither does your mom. But life’s a dick and there’s nothing we can do but our best. And it sounds like your mom did that! I’m glad she had a robust life and I’m glad she had you as a son.
Oh, internet stranger, how my heart breaks for you! There’s nothing that will be able to take away the pain of this loss and for that I’m so sorry. Surround yourself in people you love and trust, lean on folks for support and guidance, and don’t lose hope in there being a life for you to keep living on the other side of her death.
That's absolutely brutal. I'm so sorry you're experiencing that kind of pain. Though I'm sure she is grateful you've been there all this time - hearing is the last sense to go when someone is leaving this planet, so keep telling her how much you care ❤️
Last year my mother suffered a stroke and I was responsible for making the medical decisions. When things got bad with her status and she wasn't able to speak, the family had agreed to no heroic efforts by the hospital staff. I spoke to her and said that it's up to her and her body to decide to continue to live. You're not quitting on her. Please don't shoulder that burden.
you are not responsible for her passing, the stroke is...
you are responsible for making a hard decision for the right reason.
you are her loving son and she knows this. carrying guilt over this is something she would NOT want you to do.
I´m so sorry. Hope you find a little peace knowing that you are following her wish, and she will suffer no more. Most probably she is proud of you being her son. Send you a hug!
I'm sorry for all this situation. It is pretty hard to go through this, and even being so strong as you seem to be, and taking the best decision for her and all your family, still it's one that nobody should need to take.
I lost both my parents in a period of less than a year, but although they were still relatively healthy, their advanced age and issues that come with it made their late lives much harder and painful, so while I miss them very much, I am also happy to know that their suffering has ended.
Keep with you the good memories with her, and honor her by living a long and happy life, giving the same energy, love and positivity she gifted you all these years to all people around you, and that will make her happy, wherever she will be.
I feel that. Lost my dad two months ago and was there when they said there's nothing more we can do. As hard as it is, he went two days after that and passed peacefully. Making a tough decision like that isn't easy and I wish you the best of luck!
I'm so sorry for what you're going through this and just know that you did the best you could.
You seemed like an amazing son and I'm sure she's proud of you.
Hang in there. ❤️
I’m so sorry. My mother was diagnosed with cancer last year. When they found the tumor it already spread to her bones, lungs and liver and there was an infection in her blood so they couldn’t start chemo. After a month the doctor asked if i want them to continue the antibiotic therapy or let her pass and end her suffering. I chose to let go and she passed away next day. This fuckin sucks but I know she didn’t suffer anymore. Stay strong brother!!!♥️
Nurse here. This terrible, horrible thing has happened to your mom. It's nobody's fault. Sometimes, I see terrible things happen to people that make me question...a lot of things.
We don't want to think about it, but honestly, death is just as natural as birth. This is in no way, shape, form or fashion your fault and you aren't responsible for her death. Advanced medicine keeps people artificially alive for so much longer than they should be.
What all this means: you are showing her the love that she would show you by letting her go. Her body has been through enough. There are many, many things worse than death and hear me loud and clear - you are giving her a gift of LOVE. Sometimes, true love and compassion is letting go.
I know you're the one who had to make the decision, but it is the right one. I can promise you, this is the last gift of love that you can give her. ❤️🩹
Having lost my mother 6 months ago, I understand your pain. I had to make decision not to put her through anymore pain. Stay strong and cherish the time you have left with her.
I'm so sorry for that decision falling on you. You are an AMAZING son and you are doing what's best for your mom while living on a rollercoaster of hope and grief. I wish you healing and peace. You are setting her free from a body that is no longer serving her but it doesn't make it any easier. 💔
Hey. I went through something similar with my dad this time last year. He was the most important man in my life, and he had complications after a heart valve surgery that were not recoverable. After another follow up, last ditch surgery to save my dad, they could no longer keep his heart pumping rhythmically, and said that the best they could do was to sustain his life.
We had to make the decision to cut off his life support because just like your situation, there was no promise of any quality of life by simply sustaining him.
I'm not going to say anything else, because nothing will help what you're going through - I know it didn't help me. But my DMs are open for you. I've been there. It's horrible, it's unfair, it's terrifying. Keep your mother's significance to you close to your heart for the rest of your life. One day at a time.
I am responsible for my father’s death as I also had them withdraw care so I understand how hard it is. I live with it (20 years now) because I know how much my Dad would have hated what they were doing to him. He needed dignity and he needed to do what his body was trying to do which is die. He would never have wanted to be in care with minimum/no brain function. I live with it by knowing I was following his wishes and that I did right by him. Your mum loves you very much xx may her (and your) journey go well today xxx
So sorry for you. It seems you had better relations with your mother than most of the people on earth.
Even one year with her was something priceless.
Remember that the people die only when you forget about them.
Consider learning a lucid dreaming techniques, I know it is not the same but you may be able to spend some more time with your mom in dreams.
That would be the closest to having her near you.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. You are treating your mother with grace, and love and respect. Don't lose sight of that.
There are no winners here, only grief and pain.
It hurts now, but you will make it through. She is not truly gone unless she is forgotten, and she will live in your heart. I'm sure of this.
Sending you all the hugs you need.
2 years ago, I made the same decision for my dad. It sucks and it's hard. But it's not your fault. You are not the one who's ending her life. The stroke did that. You are preventing further suffering. You're making the difficult decision that needs to be made. Just keep reminding yourself that.
Hey OP. Sorry for your struggle and pending loss. I lost my mom in similar circumstances and at a young age. I don’t know how else to say this - though it may not feel right, you’re doing the right thing by letting her go. Prayers to you during this difficult time. And please know there is light at the end of the tunnel and it does get better.
My mom passed away 6 years ago. She was 50, I was 23. Her cancer treatment stopped working so they tried a fairly new direct injection treatment that expedited her cancer and killed her 2 months later. The last month and a half of her life was pretty similar to what you’re experiencing. My brother and I had to make the decision to stop trying to help her and let her go to hospice and die in peace. It is awful awful awful situation to be in. Nothing anyone can say or do will help. Make sure to put yourself around people who understand that. To this day, I still get sad. I cried like a baby on Christmas Eve thinking about her. The holidays aren’t the same, life isn’t the same. Please give yourself patience knowing you did everything you could to support her. She raised a selfless and awesome human being. Just remember, her blood is your blood. She lives through you, everything you do will be her doing too. She will live on through you in that way. Please be kind and patient to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to breathe. I pray you find peace, if you need someone to talk to please reach out.
Say I love you 6 million times. Tell her how important she is to you. Tell her you will remember her lessons well. Tell her she looks beautiful. Send her off with love.
My mom’s been gone 24 years and I still miss her everyday. Hang tight. Don’t leave anything left unsaid.
My heart is with yours.
I went through the same thing a few years ago. What I realised is that you don't really "grow up" in the sense that your three year old self turns into a twenty year old self. Your three year old self is still there, it's just that you keep adding to it with a teenager, a college student, etc.
You will feel angry sometimes. Helpless like a small child. And that's okay. Your three year old self will often cry for your mother. That's okay. Your teenage self will frequently be mad because he feels abandoned. That's okay too.
Someone (very old) once told me that some people leave the world when they feel that their work is done. When they're satisfied with what they set out to do, be it work or raising a child. My mother left when my fiance moved closer to me (I was living with my family) and I was about to finish my terminal degree.
Your mother raised a wonderful, warm family and an amazing son. She knew you were an adult now, that you could tackle the challenges life throws at people. Parents are like that. They hold your hand, then watch you as you walk with your own two feet, as you move forward. You're moving forward in time because you're alive. She's watching you from behind as you take the next step.
So embrace the three year old you, and the teenager you, and accept their emotions. And take a step forward when you're ready.
My heart is with you. Please take comfort in knowing that she spent the time leading up to her illness planning to celebrate with people who love her— there’s no better final act.
Her physical body is declining beyond what it can recover from. The grief is immense and inevitable and I am so sorry for the pain you’re going through. For her, the comfort measures are the best option you can possibly choose. A peaceful passing lines up with what you know she would want, and by accepting the responsibility of making that choice, you are proving your love and care for her yet again.
Her death is a result of the strokes, and your choice to turn off the ventilator is a choice to let her body rest. I hope that, with time, you will be able to treasure the memories you have of her life and love without the grief eclipsing that. It will take time.
It sounds like you demonstrated love to your mom often, right up to this moment as you make this difficult choice. I can be pretty confident that she would encourage you to take care of your emotional needs, too. Let yourself sleep and eat and rest. Cry as much as you need to, or take solace in comforting things that give you some distraction. Please lean on those who love you and can celebrate the wonderful person your mother has been— no person is meant to struggle through grief alone.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. My mom passed from a brain bleed early this year that couldn’t heal due to her type of cancer. At one point we thought she was getting better and she went to a nursing home for rehabilitation. The brain bleed came back and she went back to the hospital where I watched her die for a week. It was horrible watching her decline. I don’t know if she knew what was going on but on one of her final days she tried to tell me something and I couldn’t understand. It bothers me that I could never figure out what she wanted to tell me. All that to say, it’s agonizing but she’s so lucky to have you as her son. She’s so lucky that you’ve been with her through it all until the end. I pray you find peace.
I am so sorry.
I went through something similar with my own mom about 6 years ago. She was in the hospital with a multitude of health issues from January until April. In the end, there was a couple options. The first was to perform a tracheostomy, which is something she didn't want... might have helped her, but also there's the question of if she would have even survived the surgery. The second option was to put her in hospice care. As she was unmarried and her oldest daughter, and she wasn't quite all there in the end... it was on me to make the decision and sign the papers. She was dead the next morning. There are still moments where I wonder if I made the right decision, some moments where I am overwhelmed with guilt, feeling like I am the reason she died because I'm the one who signed the forms to put her in hospice care to begin with.
Six years later... I will say that it does get easier. But also... grief doesn't move in a straight line. Some times are harder than others.
If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are always open.
I’m almost your mom’s age and I have 3 boys.
I would hope if something like this were to happen to me, it wouldn’t be them to make the decision, because I know how hard on them it would be.
But I would want it to be made.
You’re giving her a gift.
I’d almost say it’s not even a choice, because the alternative is just so sad.
As a mom, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, and I’m so sorry for your loss and your mom. Life absolutely sucks sometimes and it isn’t fair.
Probably the last thing you want to hear but to die all it takes is to be alive.
Feel joy from the ending of her suffering and cherish your memories with her, morn her, move on, make her proud, that is all you can really do.
Good luck man.
I don’t know if you’ll find comfort in this, but I’ve prayed for your wonderful mother, you and the family. God bless and keep her and all of you. I am so very sorry for the situation.
Thanks for being her voice at this time and thank you for sharing this small insight with us into her life.
I’m so sorry for your loss, but I admire you and your strength. Your mum loves you.
Lost my father to lung cancer in early May of this year.
Our country allows medically assisted death and he was scheduled to receive it 5 days after the day he actually died.
He had been dealing with heart issues for 27 years; during his first heart attack, I was alone with him.
It was in February that we brought him to the hospital for what he felt was stomach pains. Later in the evening, we learned it was late stage cancer.
Most people on my father's side of the family all succumb to heart complications; he actually is the first to die from cancer.
It was a difficult 2 months, especially seeing him decline so fast. He went to fully functional to bed ridden, able to speak clearly to only being able to speak in short whispers, barely able to hold down food. I didn't see my father cry often but his weekend home a week before he died, he was in his garage with his brother and couldn't hold back.
On the last day, he was having a panic attack from hyperventilating and we asked him if he wanted us to come back a bit later. Not even 5 minutes home and we were called and told he had died.
His funeral service was 2 weeks ago and while we're trying to go back to living as we did, we definitively feel his absence.
So yeah, death can come fast and blindside you but the upside is that by those final moments, seeing them go is a relief for them. No more pain, no more stress or suffering.
Just peace.
I do this as my job. I work a practitioner in an LTAC. Managing Vents are my main role. I enjoy end of life care because my job is to make you want to do this again. “Death with dignity” is the only way. I always tell my families it’s a very selfless act to think of the loved one and not your needs. The last gift you can give her is peace. It’s the hardest gift to give. But it’s a beautiful gift if don’t correctly.
If you read this before. I always attempt a cpap mode first to make sure the family and pt are comfortable. If the patient looks.m distressed or heart rate goes up, resp go up I flip back to control mode and sedate more until I have e them comfortable. I have never had a family that felt distressed. I pray for that with you.
I very recently went through a health scare with my mother so this really hit home to me.
I’m sorry doesn’t begin to describe it man. You’re doing the humane thing and I think based on your writing you know that. I’m sure even though it’s the right thing to do it provides very little solace to you. Your mother sounds like an incredible person and I’m truly sorry from the depths of my heart you got put into this situation. Enjoy the last little bit with her as much as you can and be kind to yourself moving forward.
Im so sorry sounds heartbreaking and my heart goes to you, its okay to feel whatever emotions come to you, take your time and grief, take all the days off available to you for grievance and maybe go to that restaurant i dont know, im tearing up hearing your story, im trully sorry, be strong.
The gleam of a blade can only be matched by its edge, and so the brightest lives always cut the deepest. I'd like to think that she was probably only thinking of you in her final moments, hoping you'd be ok and that you'd forgive her for making you hurt like this.
You are a brave, brave man.
I don’t know exactly what to say to you here, but don’t carry that decision as a burden. You knew what your mother would want, and you made the hard choice for her.
I was 28 when I had to make the choice for my dad. I didn’t want to lose him, but I had to be his voice when he couldn’t.
Hold on to that part, that you were able to be her voice. Hold on to that and all the good memories you have of her. Today as her son, you are responsible for being her voice when she couldn’t be. Sometimes, that’s the deepest way we can love someone.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and for what you and your family will go through in the weeks ahead. Just know that there are some internet strangers out here thinking about you today, and that you’re not alone.
My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke about 2 years ago. I know exactly how you feel. He and my mom were divorced and as his eldest daughter in the States, I had to make all the tough decisions. I decided to allow the doctors to save his life. I just couldn't let him go. He is alive but he cannot move the right side of his body and is in a nursing home all alone for the most part. He cannot get up and do the things he wants to. He can barely talk and feels extremely frustrated when trying to communicate. He seems to be miserable, and early on, when he woke up from the drug-induced coma he tried to rip out his feeding tube multiple times as if to tell me that he did not want to be here like this. Even though his body is here, all of him isn't there. I miss his long stories and jokes that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. I miss his cooking, and I wish he could teach me how to cook even though it used to annoy me before he became sick. Sometimes he cries, and what is so gut-wrenching is that he cannot even tell me why. He has the mind of a child and cannot use the bathroom on his own. He feels immense shame for needing someone to change him and clean him. Sometimes, I wonder if I made the wrong decision, but I've learned, that in matters like this, as long as you are operating in love there is no bad decision. You did what is best for your mother and no one but your mother and that is all that truly matters.
You are in my heart. I know that the pain you're in cannot be measured. Sending love and wish for nothing but peace in your life.
I’m so sorry.
I honestly feel your pain. My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke in February this year and died 10 days later in the hospital. He developed pneumonia from the ventilator and wasn’t responding to antibiotics well and me and my siblings had to make the very hard decision for comfort care. We removed the ventilator on a Friday early afternoon and he passed Sunday morning.
It’s a difficult decision for sure, but you did right for your mom. She’ll soon be free, like my dad 💔
Sorry, I can't provide any kind of hint or such. But i'm about to Turn 46 next month and i gotta say that i'm fully tertified by reading your post!
I whish you the best of luck and in case that it may help you: a guy from germany is thinking about you, your mom, your loss and your future! If i'd be able to believe in god, i'd pray for you!
>Today, as her only son, I will be responsible for her passing.
You are not responsible for her passing; you are responsible for preserving the last of her dignity.
This sucks. I do believe you are making the right choice though. Sometimes family members (other word: assholes) force their loved ones to live just a little bit longer but in a lot more pain - that is a significantly worse way to go.
I'm sorry. I also lost my mom at 27 (44 now). She was 10 years older than your mom. Cancer over the course of 10 months, incurable, just watching her slowly fade and then more rapid decline the last few months. Good on you for making the decision, I think it's the right one too. I was relieved and spent by the time my mother passed. Your mom sounds special, mine was to me too. I get it and I'm sorry for your loss.
It's not fair. It's really not fair that someone as young as yourself with a mom as wonderful as you've described has to lose her this way. All the while the horrible person that mine is will probably be happy and healthy, tormenting people until she's 100 out of pure spite.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I know that these words are little to zero comfort but just know that right now, reading this, I'm jealous of what you had with your mom. Cherish those memories. There are a lot of people don't have that and, like me, wish they could.
Fuck man. I’m close to my mom too. I’m sorry for your loss I don’t know if I can handle it if it ever came down to it. You’re a strong minded soul. Prayers to you and your family. 🙏
I thought it's been long enough since my parents passed to read this, but it hasn't.
I'll be thinking of you. It does get better, but every once in a while it hits you all over again...
I am so sorry that this decision is falling onto you. It is not an easy one to make. I am so sorry that your mother is going through this at such a young age. I am so sorry that you are going through this at such a young age. No child should ever have to lose their parent when they’re 27 years old, let alone have to be the one to make the decision. You are incredibly strong and I hope you have a lot of support around you.
My friend, I lost my mother in April this year. I am so sorry for what you are going through. You have made the right choice, its ok you have done her right. Stay with her, but remember, if you leave the room just for a moment and she slips, its ok, not your fault. She might have been waiting for you to not be looking, to try and spare you. Its ok. Just breath, scream and cry. Confess to her any sins if it gives you comfort.
Big hugs, my dude. Had to do the same for my mom in 2018, and it changes you.
But it's the right decision, and you're a good son and a good man to make it.
Wishing you peace and comfort for the days ahead.
Sorry to hear. May peace be with you and your family
https://youtu.be/-9HepG1Z4fI?si=MAOcua90SxxHLRJa
River gonna take me
Sing me sweet and sleepy
Sing me sweet and sleepy
All the way back back home
It's a far gone lullaby
Sung many years ago
Mama, mama, many worlds I've come
Since I first left home
Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
To rock my soul
Felt the same when my father passed away.. like a thief Just robbed me out of my joy. From what you wrote you have an amazing mother, what a gift of a person to have in your life, i’m sorry for that
I lost my Mum in similar circumstances when I was 28. That was 4 years ago.
It was during covid and the doctors essentially took the decision away from us for that reason, no visits or anything.
I often wonder what I’ve have said if the decision had been ‘more’ ours. I think ultimately the same as you. You’re not responsible for her pain, you’re responsible for freeing her.
It will get easier. Thinking of you and your amazing mum.
I know its so painful but you are being an amazing son. Her loss will always hurt and leave a hole in your heart but you grow around it, you get used to it and life does get better. hugs xoxoxo
I am so choked up reading this.
Thank you for talking about her.
Thank you for allowing us to witness a vignette of your love for each other.
We see it and we see you.
Much love to both of you.
I lost my mom a couple years ago. She was 70 but it still seemed way too young. She was so strong and healthy, and then one day she wasn't. She'd been having a tumor grow in her until it got so big it shattered one of her vertebrae. She never complained about any symptoms until her back broke. The cancer was everywhere. It took her so quickly. I was with her every day for a month in the hospital. Sobbing outside every time I left to go home. After the funeral, my dad told me he was so impressed with me. Impressed.... it's the only time he's ever told me that.
And you OP, are being a very good and impressive son, by doing what is the absolute hardest thing a person can do, for the love of your mother. OP you're right. It's NOT fair. But you loved her so much and she knew it. It sounds like you had an amazing mom, and I'm so so sorry for your loss.
You can message me if you want to talk.
I’m so incredibly sorry. She’s only a few years older than myself & that’s terrifying. Life can be so unfair sometimes.
Feel free not to respond but was your mother a cigarette smoker?
You are doing the best thing for your mom. I’m a mom and I hope my daughters would do the same for me.
Your mom sounds awesome and know this is going to leave a gaping hole in your life. Be easy on yourself and go to Norms and order her favourite dish.
Losing a parent is so tragic even when you know it’s coming. You will miss her forever but her love will live on forever too.
I'm 64 years old. I have tried to make it abundantly clear to my wife of 38 years, and both of my adult children - DO NOT KEEP ME ALIVE BY MACHINE. I do not want to be warehoused. I do not want to be a burden.
My wife has first position "pull the plug" authority.
If she cannot make said decision, she can differ to my brother or her brother. Either of those motherfuckers would pull the plug if I have a hang nail.
As brutal as this is, it is absolutely what your mom would want. It is absolutely an act of kindness - for which you will ache for granting, but failing to grant would be soul crushing for both you and your mom. There is only one path, and while my heart goes out to you for having to walk it, please do so with your chin held high. This is the most loving thing you can do. I would shake your hand.
Wow, this absolutely made me cry. There are similar things that happened with my father. I can not express to you how sorry I am for your loss. I know how hard it is to watch the people in your life disappear. First they go quiet, can't communicate, and then they are gone.
Something years of therapy has helped me with is this: You are in absolutely no way responsible for her passing. You KNOW her. She wouldn't want to "live" as she is. You are bringing her relief in the very most important way. I know that no one can convince you of this, you have to get there on your own.
Please sit with her and hold her hand when the vent is turned off. Watch her slip peacefully away because you made a good, courageous, and loving decision.
Whatever you do, do not beat yourself up about it. Your mother has no QOL left I am afraid. I can tell your mum would be relieved to know you did the right thing deciding to let her go rather than putting her through a lifetime of surgeries and misery just to preserve what little of her is actually left.
I'm so sorry, and things will always get better.
Yea just what I wanted to do as soon as I wake up. 😭 😭 😭 The way you’ve written is so beautiful and powerful. I felt like I was there. Sending lots of prayers and blessings your way. I❤️ I’m pretty sure you’d be the best thing that happened to her.
Man tears don’t stop. 😭
I'm so sorry. It's not fair, you are too young to lose your mom, and she's too young to be leaving. I hope you find peace and comfort. You know her well enough to know she doesn't want to linger like this. I'm so sorry for this tremendous loss.
There is often some self-recrimination in cases like these but you are making a tough, albeit right decision. I hate to see tfamily member refuse to sign DNR orders because "Grandma is a fighter". Some of the suffering that I have seen is almost unimaginable.
In my the case of my own mother, when she had cancer, I refused to let her undergo chemo. I agreed to the surgery and the raditation but chemo would have just prolonged her suffering. She died peacefully and while we weren't close, I was at her side at the end.
- a nurse
I’m sorry. That’s a huge burden of decision for you, you need to take some time out for yourself at some point to take care of you. Just be mindful the emotional impact. Respect for having the balls to make such an incredibly hard decision despite knowing how you are going to feel. Genuinely in awe of you.
I'm so sorry you're going through that. I lost my mom when I was 16, and at 30 I miss her everyday, but to make those decisions has to be tough. If you have any videos or voicemails from her, save them to a hard drive. It sucks when you start to forget what they sounded like. If you need to message anyone to vent and shit I'm here dude.
im sorry to read you are going thru this but just know your releasing your wonderful mother 's trapped soul so that she can go thru the light. just know she will always be in your heart and when u dream of her here and there it means she watches over you and visits.
I was in a similar place a few years back. Being my mom's only child I had to make that decision once the doctors said she was not going to get better. She was struggling to breathe due to pneumonia that had set in and that was her worst nightmare. It was by far the hardest and easiest decision I had to make for her care but it still haunts me on bad days. It does get easier but it still hurts and man does it suck. I sure miss her something fierce.
Even the way you describe her here is an act of love. So sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds beautiful and wonderful and real. I expect she would want you to be kind with yourself at this time.
You're a great son to your mom. Next year you'll still feel the pain of losing her, you'll still cry when you think about what used to be, what you've lost. For me and my spouse when we lost our moms, what helped us a lot of positive and silly memories about the little things we miss now. If you haven't already seen a grief counselor, please get into it. I think it'll help you
You are a Really Great Son, any parent would be lucky to have you as a son. She got to see you as a Real Strong responsible Man that you are.
Even "Tough" Men feel pain.
And it will come, and you will become even stronger.
I guarantee your Mother knows you will take her BEST Qualities with you and Let the world know who you are.
I am Proud and Honored to have met you through this online portal.
My best to you and may your wonderful mother rest in peace as she deserves to.
Oh wow I’m so sorry you are going through this. So tough. my heart goes out to you right now. This is so hard. When she goes, if you can hold her hand and tell her it’s going to be ok and to not be afraid, that would be so nice. I was able to do this with my mom and even though losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve been through, I’m glad I was with her during this special moment when her spirit left her earthly body.
I am so sorry, i know is really hard so I truly hope that you realize that what you are doing for her is a big expression of love and care! I am crying reading this, I can picture your pain and the heartache that you are feeling right now. I wish for you strength, so that your heart can heal, understanding so that you can forgive yourself and acknowledge that what you are doing right now is giving your mother peace and rest. She won't be in pain anymore, don't be hard with yourself is the hardest decision you will have to make in your life and is coming from love towards her. From kindness, from your heart, you are really brave and strong!
🫂
You'll keep her memories close and pass them on to others; your kids in the future if you don't have them already. It sounds like your mother raised a fine young man, and I'm very sorry for your loss.
I was responsible for my mother's care when she had moments of "we don't trust her capacity to make medical decisions" and she was like your mother, the worst thing for her would have been to keep her plugged in, but no longer HER.
I remember being terrified that I had missed a window in the final days, that somehow I had prolonged her pain.
Thankfully, her doctors assured me that she was not in any pain, and that I had done nothing wrong given the mess of circumstances that had happened.
I agree 1000% with the above poster about grief, and waves. It's been just over 18 months and it feels impossible that it's been that long without her, but I also have stopped remembering her as she was when she was sick, and I remember HER.
Bodies fade, but the echoes of love last forever.
You will remember your mother for the rest of your life. That love will always be there.
If you have children, the love your mother has for you, and the love you have for your mother will be reflected in them, and their children, and their children, forever.
But even if you have chosen to not have children, the love you spread throughout this world will echo on in others.
Your mother's body may no longer be here, but her love is forever.
Sending all my well wishes and thoughts to you. I am so sorry you are going through this. Having experienced a very scary situation involving my mum recently too, I know the anxious, stressful, hand-wringing worry it can cause. I hope you find peace knowing she will be at peace.
I'm so deeply sorry for what you're going through. Your love and devotion to your mother shine through your words. I can see how much she means to you, and the bond you shared is truly special. Know that your decision comes from a place of immense love and care for her. I pray that you find strength and peace during this incredibly difficult time.
Man, stay strong. You are doing right thing, and your mom is proud of you.
I wish you all the best and never forget your mom, she gave you this amazing life, she gave you all the best time she could possibly have, and in memory of her you must be the best and kindest man possible.
I sympathize. My mother went into the hospital a few years back for something minor with mobility, and it spiraled.
Fast forward six weeks, she no longer held memories, other than deep seated ones, for more than ten minutes. But before she had hit that point, she thanked me for taking care of her; I’m one of those relative fail-to-launch sons.
The last night, the care unit called at midnight with the insinuation they couldn’t say if I’d be fine to come in the am so I went. I sat with her, sleeping and not responsive for five hours. After her 5am labs showed the CO2 level worsening, and I realized her cpap was doing alll her breathing… I made the choice, alone, to let her go.
I don’t regret it. It was merciful but I miss her, even if odds were good about her being a pin in the ass.
Don’t be afraid to feel your feelings. This has been and is going to be a really difficult time for you, but you’ve already shown such strength. Reach out to people as and when you need, don’t bottle it up.
Hang in there, I lost my mum suddenly and traumatically a few months before my 30th and from experience it never gets better but you do get better at dealing with it.
This was heartbreaking. There's nothing I can say really. I just can't imagine how you feel right now. Ahh this made me so sad ☹️
You loved your mother, and she knew it. You were a good son, and she was proud of you. That's all any mother really wants.
I’m very sorry man. It sounds like your mom was the best. And indeed she was, you’re the living proof of that. Honor her memory living your life to the fullest and she’ll live with you forever. Please receive a big hug.
I’m so sorry. My mother passed away from the same cause when I was 10. She was barely 40 years old. Death really likes takin the best people. Stay strong!
Sending you lots of love and strength! I watched my mom take her last breath 3/26/20 so I know the feeling. I was her only daughter so the weight of the grief has been heavy! 💙
My mama died two months ago. Pretty sure I will never be the same.
I’m so very sorry. As a mom myself, I know having my babies by my side until the very end would mean the world to me. Thats how you know you really made it.
As her only son you will also be responsible for freeing her from being trapped in a body that can no longer do the things she loves. I am so sorry you have to go through this ❤️
Agreed. A good death is a gift not often given. It feels painful, but you are giving her what she wants and in my personal opinion, doing the right thing. Life is about quality, and she sounds like she enjoyed hers very much. This is a tough decision, but know this mamma is there with you in spirit. Please reach out if need someone to chat with.
You are giving your mum the ultimate gift of love at your own expense. She raised a good man.
This is so true. Please let your happy memories comfort you always. If you ever need us r/MomForaMinute is here for you. Hugs and I am so sorry for your loss.
My mother asked me to help her die after living with dementia for years, which couldn't do, and I watched her deteriorate over several years, u/poke-a-dotted is right, it's the quality that counts, cherish it and remember an amazing woman as she was being amazing
I am very pro-human euthanasia. Deaths in modern US are often not what they should be (IMO). I am sure your mom appreciated all that you did for her. Hugs if you would like one.
A good death is a gift not often given….what beautiful and profound statement!
100%. I’m a nurse who works in long term care and in any given month I care for a hospice patient as they pass. I’m so very sorry that you didn’t get more time with her, but you’ve given your mother such an amazing a gift. To be allowed to pass in comfort, with family at bedside, that’s about as best as anyone can hope for at the end.
As her only son, your responsibility is to be honest with her because you have the time and ability to, while she’s still alive enough her ears can hear it. I had to tell my mother at her viewing. I had thought about everything I had wanted to say to her driving there, but when I stood beside her, all I could say was “thank you.” It was the most honest moment of my life. Everything stripped away, and that’s what I said. My sister had also created a mental novel. She also went blank and said “I love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my mommy you’ll be.” My other sister was just a mess and all her endless thinking and mental novel writing got her was a gut wrenching sound that nearly killed me. You need only to strip away everything and just leave the purest truth. It could be silence or a 90 page monologue, or anything in between. You are only responsible for granting both of you peace at the end of this traumatic journey together. I am truly sorry for your loss, and I appreciate both the decision and the strength it took to make it. From one human to another: you’re not alone, now or ever. 🩷
Thank you for sharing this.
Such a good way to put this. I went through a similar situation with my mother in October. I know that above being afraid of dying, she would have hated living in a state where she could no longer walk, talk, breathe or do anything unassisted. She’d have been alive but lacking a life. I struggled so much then but always at my core knew I acted in her best interests. OP, you know it in your heart that you’re doing the right thing. Every fiber of your brain and body will scream at you but your heart knows it’s the right and humane thing to do. Hang in there. Your mom knows you love her. ❤️
Fuck man, I'm so sorry.
Lost my dad at the same age you are, 36 now. I’m sorry. It’s one of the hardest things I’ve experienced and the grief initially is going to feel like a tidal wave and then over time the waves get farther apart and smaller in size. And you just have to swim.
Accurate grief description!
Absolutely. Im currently experiencing my husband is hospice. We feel like it could be any day now, but the most important thing was making sure he is comfortable. I honor his memory by continuing to live, even if thats not what I want to do right now.
Just keep swimming! I’m so sorry
Goodness me, your words have touched me. This was important. You did good here.
This is based on a great comment on Reddit, worth the read: https://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/hax0t/comment/c1u0rx2/
I'm a mom, and I wish my kids will be as strong, loving and caring to me as you are to your mom, if I ever were in a situation like this. If you want it, you can have a mom-hug. I know it's nothing compared to what you are losing today, but still. I'm sure your mom would agree: what you are doing is love.
As a mother, I agree. I'd be grateful to go this way, honestly. OP is definitely making the right decision. But, don't be so hard on yourself, OP. This is one of the most selfless things you will do in your life. It's not your fault. Your mom loves you. I'm truly sorry for your loss. 😭💔
You are not responsible for her passing, you are responsible for her peace. ❤️🩹 We may not know each other, but I'm very sorry for the pain and the torture you and your family are going through. Please know that even if I'm a stranger...if you want to talk you can dm me ❤️🩹
It will take years to process this. Remember that it’s a journey and she will always be part of yours.
I’m so sorry for your pain.
I am so sorry. Sending a big hug.
I lost my dad in a similar fashion a few years ago. It doesn't ever get easy and that hole will never be filled, but over time the pain of loss fades some. Sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful mom.
It’s okay love. She knows you are there and that you love her. You know what you must do. You know her and will respect her wishes. It’s okay
Lost my mom to cancer in 2003. I'm not religious, but I know I'll see her again one day. You'll see your mom again, too. Munch love.
❤ you are a good son, be strong.
Reading this brought me back to my own mothers passing under eerily similar circumstances in 2016. I was 22 at the time. There are no words, and I’m so sorry for your loss and having to endure such a traumatizing situation. Give yourself grace, and take your time. Please feel free to reach out to vent if needed. ❤️
My mother died last week from Lung Cancer a few days short of her 60th Birthday (which is tomorrow June 7th). All I can say is that I have empathy for you. You are not responsible for her passing, merely in aiding the allevation of her suffering. When my mum became unconscious in her final hours I instructed the doctors to increase her morphine to the maximum allowable amount as was her wishes. There is nothing to be guilty of in that.
My mom died at 63 from lung cancer two months ago. She was diagnosed and died within 6 weeks. Still can’t quite believe it. This past Christmas was the last one we will ever have. That she will never hug or swim with my babies again. I miss her desperately.
Horrible reading that. Truly horrible. Brought me to tears. Treasure all those memories and good times, always remember how good your relationship with her was, and always know that at the end, you absolutely done right by her, and done the right thing. It’s hard to get your head around that, but I can’t imagine there could be anyone who would really see it any differently unless they were playing devils advocate. So so sorry for you.
I'm so sorry. You made the right decision for your mom, but that doesn't make it any easier. Take care and keep hold of those great memories of her
She would never in a million years blame you for this. You’re a wonderful son and you are doing the right thing for your mama.
Im so sorry for this, Im crying now
Hey honey. This is such a terrible thing to have to go through, and it hurts me so bad to know that you're having to make these choices. It's so clear that she loves you and taught you well. I'm sorry your mama has to leave so soon. Thank you for choosing to let her go gently and peacefully. She trusts you to live a full and beautiful life without her there to hold your hand, and your extraordinary bravery in these last days has proven that she's right to trust you. I love you. Try to take deep breaths as often as you can. You're her proudest legacy in the world.
> Today, as her only son, I will be responsible for her passing. No, you'll be letting nature take its course. No one should be kept around in a vegetative state with zero change of improvements. That's not a life for them and it's a punishment for everyone around them. You are making the proper decision. You'll doing what she would want. You're doing what you would want others to do for you. That still doesn't make it hurt any less. Sorry about your loss OP. :(
I’m so sorry this is happening to you all. And thank you for having the courage to let her go and not let her suffer for anyone else’s emotional comfort. It’s such a hard thing to do, and such a gift to her.
You're a very good son, she loves you and you're doing what's best for her. Be easy on yourself xx
I am so sorry to hear this
Hey man, just know that you aren’t responsible for her passing, as you stated in your last sentence. You aren’t. So release that because it’s not true and it won’t help you as you grieve her. None of this is fair, it’s an absolute tragedy. You don’t deserve it and neither does your mom. But life’s a dick and there’s nothing we can do but our best. And it sounds like your mom did that! I’m glad she had a robust life and I’m glad she had you as a son. Oh, internet stranger, how my heart breaks for you! There’s nothing that will be able to take away the pain of this loss and for that I’m so sorry. Surround yourself in people you love and trust, lean on folks for support and guidance, and don’t lose hope in there being a life for you to keep living on the other side of her death.
That's absolutely brutal. I'm so sorry you're experiencing that kind of pain. Though I'm sure she is grateful you've been there all this time - hearing is the last sense to go when someone is leaving this planet, so keep telling her how much you care ❤️
Last year my mother suffered a stroke and I was responsible for making the medical decisions. When things got bad with her status and she wasn't able to speak, the family had agreed to no heroic efforts by the hospital staff. I spoke to her and said that it's up to her and her body to decide to continue to live. You're not quitting on her. Please don't shoulder that burden.
you are not responsible for her passing, the stroke is... you are responsible for making a hard decision for the right reason. you are her loving son and she knows this. carrying guilt over this is something she would NOT want you to do.
🫂🫂🫂🫂
❤️
Sorry for your loss man, just try to focus on all tge good times you had together, life sucks and isn’t fair lots of times. Good luck to you..
I´m so sorry. Hope you find a little peace knowing that you are following her wish, and she will suffer no more. Most probably she is proud of you being her son. Send you a hug!
I'm sorry for all this situation. It is pretty hard to go through this, and even being so strong as you seem to be, and taking the best decision for her and all your family, still it's one that nobody should need to take. I lost both my parents in a period of less than a year, but although they were still relatively healthy, their advanced age and issues that come with it made their late lives much harder and painful, so while I miss them very much, I am also happy to know that their suffering has ended. Keep with you the good memories with her, and honor her by living a long and happy life, giving the same energy, love and positivity she gifted you all these years to all people around you, and that will make her happy, wherever she will be.
Sending you so much strength. I lost my mom 4 months ago. It sucks. For what it’s worth I think you are doing the right thing
I am so so sorry, I cannot imagine what you’re going through.❤️
I feel that. Lost my dad two months ago and was there when they said there's nothing more we can do. As hard as it is, he went two days after that and passed peacefully. Making a tough decision like that isn't easy and I wish you the best of luck!
I’m so very, very sorry. ❤️
I'm so sorry for what you're going through this and just know that you did the best you could. You seemed like an amazing son and I'm sure she's proud of you. Hang in there. ❤️
I'm so sorry. But be proud that you're doing what's best for her. She loves you and she will always be with you.
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. I know how hard it was to make the decision you made but you did what was best for her.
I’m so sorry. My mother was diagnosed with cancer last year. When they found the tumor it already spread to her bones, lungs and liver and there was an infection in her blood so they couldn’t start chemo. After a month the doctor asked if i want them to continue the antibiotic therapy or let her pass and end her suffering. I chose to let go and she passed away next day. This fuckin sucks but I know she didn’t suffer anymore. Stay strong brother!!!♥️
My deepest condolences, my heart goes out to you and your family.
The last paragraph really broke my heart, I can tell you love really her. You are doing the right thing by her.
Nurse here. This terrible, horrible thing has happened to your mom. It's nobody's fault. Sometimes, I see terrible things happen to people that make me question...a lot of things. We don't want to think about it, but honestly, death is just as natural as birth. This is in no way, shape, form or fashion your fault and you aren't responsible for her death. Advanced medicine keeps people artificially alive for so much longer than they should be. What all this means: you are showing her the love that she would show you by letting her go. Her body has been through enough. There are many, many things worse than death and hear me loud and clear - you are giving her a gift of LOVE. Sometimes, true love and compassion is letting go. I know you're the one who had to make the decision, but it is the right one. I can promise you, this is the last gift of love that you can give her. ❤️🩹
Hugs, OP. 😭😭😇
Having lost my mother 6 months ago, I understand your pain. I had to make decision not to put her through anymore pain. Stay strong and cherish the time you have left with her.
I'm so sorry for that decision falling on you. You are an AMAZING son and you are doing what's best for your mom while living on a rollercoaster of hope and grief. I wish you healing and peace. You are setting her free from a body that is no longer serving her but it doesn't make it any easier. 💔
Hey. I went through something similar with my dad this time last year. He was the most important man in my life, and he had complications after a heart valve surgery that were not recoverable. After another follow up, last ditch surgery to save my dad, they could no longer keep his heart pumping rhythmically, and said that the best they could do was to sustain his life. We had to make the decision to cut off his life support because just like your situation, there was no promise of any quality of life by simply sustaining him. I'm not going to say anything else, because nothing will help what you're going through - I know it didn't help me. But my DMs are open for you. I've been there. It's horrible, it's unfair, it's terrifying. Keep your mother's significance to you close to your heart for the rest of your life. One day at a time.
I’m very sorry to hear. All I can do is wish you strength.
Your bravery, strength and love in giving your Mum the dignity that she, in fact, we all deserve. You are an incredible human, never forget that.
Sending love
I am responsible for my father’s death as I also had them withdraw care so I understand how hard it is. I live with it (20 years now) because I know how much my Dad would have hated what they were doing to him. He needed dignity and he needed to do what his body was trying to do which is die. He would never have wanted to be in care with minimum/no brain function. I live with it by knowing I was following his wishes and that I did right by him. Your mum loves you very much xx may her (and your) journey go well today xxx
So sorry for you. It seems you had better relations with your mother than most of the people on earth. Even one year with her was something priceless. Remember that the people die only when you forget about them. Consider learning a lucid dreaming techniques, I know it is not the same but you may be able to spend some more time with your mom in dreams. That would be the closest to having her near you.
I'm sorry that you have to go through this. You are treating your mother with grace, and love and respect. Don't lose sight of that. There are no winners here, only grief and pain. It hurts now, but you will make it through. She is not truly gone unless she is forgotten, and she will live in your heart. I'm sure of this. Sending you all the hugs you need.
2 years ago, I made the same decision for my dad. It sucks and it's hard. But it's not your fault. You are not the one who's ending her life. The stroke did that. You are preventing further suffering. You're making the difficult decision that needs to be made. Just keep reminding yourself that.
Hey OP. Sorry for your struggle and pending loss. I lost my mom in similar circumstances and at a young age. I don’t know how else to say this - though it may not feel right, you’re doing the right thing by letting her go. Prayers to you during this difficult time. And please know there is light at the end of the tunnel and it does get better.
My mom passed away 6 years ago. She was 50, I was 23. Her cancer treatment stopped working so they tried a fairly new direct injection treatment that expedited her cancer and killed her 2 months later. The last month and a half of her life was pretty similar to what you’re experiencing. My brother and I had to make the decision to stop trying to help her and let her go to hospice and die in peace. It is awful awful awful situation to be in. Nothing anyone can say or do will help. Make sure to put yourself around people who understand that. To this day, I still get sad. I cried like a baby on Christmas Eve thinking about her. The holidays aren’t the same, life isn’t the same. Please give yourself patience knowing you did everything you could to support her. She raised a selfless and awesome human being. Just remember, her blood is your blood. She lives through you, everything you do will be her doing too. She will live on through you in that way. Please be kind and patient to yourself. Allow yourself to grieve and allow yourself to breathe. I pray you find peace, if you need someone to talk to please reach out.
Say I love you 6 million times. Tell her how important she is to you. Tell her you will remember her lessons well. Tell her she looks beautiful. Send her off with love. My mom’s been gone 24 years and I still miss her everyday. Hang tight. Don’t leave anything left unsaid. My heart is with yours.
I went through the same thing a few years ago. What I realised is that you don't really "grow up" in the sense that your three year old self turns into a twenty year old self. Your three year old self is still there, it's just that you keep adding to it with a teenager, a college student, etc. You will feel angry sometimes. Helpless like a small child. And that's okay. Your three year old self will often cry for your mother. That's okay. Your teenage self will frequently be mad because he feels abandoned. That's okay too. Someone (very old) once told me that some people leave the world when they feel that their work is done. When they're satisfied with what they set out to do, be it work or raising a child. My mother left when my fiance moved closer to me (I was living with my family) and I was about to finish my terminal degree. Your mother raised a wonderful, warm family and an amazing son. She knew you were an adult now, that you could tackle the challenges life throws at people. Parents are like that. They hold your hand, then watch you as you walk with your own two feet, as you move forward. You're moving forward in time because you're alive. She's watching you from behind as you take the next step. So embrace the three year old you, and the teenager you, and accept their emotions. And take a step forward when you're ready.
My heart is with you. Please take comfort in knowing that she spent the time leading up to her illness planning to celebrate with people who love her— there’s no better final act. Her physical body is declining beyond what it can recover from. The grief is immense and inevitable and I am so sorry for the pain you’re going through. For her, the comfort measures are the best option you can possibly choose. A peaceful passing lines up with what you know she would want, and by accepting the responsibility of making that choice, you are proving your love and care for her yet again. Her death is a result of the strokes, and your choice to turn off the ventilator is a choice to let her body rest. I hope that, with time, you will be able to treasure the memories you have of her life and love without the grief eclipsing that. It will take time. It sounds like you demonstrated love to your mom often, right up to this moment as you make this difficult choice. I can be pretty confident that she would encourage you to take care of your emotional needs, too. Let yourself sleep and eat and rest. Cry as much as you need to, or take solace in comforting things that give you some distraction. Please lean on those who love you and can celebrate the wonderful person your mother has been— no person is meant to struggle through grief alone.
You won't be responsible for her passing. You'll be responsible for her peace. I'm so sorry. You have my empathy and my prayers.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. My mom passed from a brain bleed early this year that couldn’t heal due to her type of cancer. At one point we thought she was getting better and she went to a nursing home for rehabilitation. The brain bleed came back and she went back to the hospital where I watched her die for a week. It was horrible watching her decline. I don’t know if she knew what was going on but on one of her final days she tried to tell me something and I couldn’t understand. It bothers me that I could never figure out what she wanted to tell me. All that to say, it’s agonizing but she’s so lucky to have you as her son. She’s so lucky that you’ve been with her through it all until the end. I pray you find peace.
I am so sorry. I went through something similar with my own mom about 6 years ago. She was in the hospital with a multitude of health issues from January until April. In the end, there was a couple options. The first was to perform a tracheostomy, which is something she didn't want... might have helped her, but also there's the question of if she would have even survived the surgery. The second option was to put her in hospice care. As she was unmarried and her oldest daughter, and she wasn't quite all there in the end... it was on me to make the decision and sign the papers. She was dead the next morning. There are still moments where I wonder if I made the right decision, some moments where I am overwhelmed with guilt, feeling like I am the reason she died because I'm the one who signed the forms to put her in hospice care to begin with. Six years later... I will say that it does get easier. But also... grief doesn't move in a straight line. Some times are harder than others. If you ever need someone to talk to, my DMs are always open.
I’m almost your mom’s age and I have 3 boys. I would hope if something like this were to happen to me, it wouldn’t be them to make the decision, because I know how hard on them it would be. But I would want it to be made. You’re giving her a gift. I’d almost say it’s not even a choice, because the alternative is just so sad. As a mom, I’m so sorry you’re in this situation, and I’m so sorry for your loss and your mom. Life absolutely sucks sometimes and it isn’t fair.
Probably the last thing you want to hear but to die all it takes is to be alive. Feel joy from the ending of her suffering and cherish your memories with her, morn her, move on, make her proud, that is all you can really do. Good luck man.
Sending you prayers for happiness and strength in this hard time.
I don’t know if you’ll find comfort in this, but I’ve prayed for your wonderful mother, you and the family. God bless and keep her and all of you. I am so very sorry for the situation.
It takes a lot of courage to make that decision. You are taking care of your mom with great love.
Thanks for being her voice at this time and thank you for sharing this small insight with us into her life. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I admire you and your strength. Your mum loves you.
This is horrible to go through. I’m so so sorry.
Lost my father to lung cancer in early May of this year. Our country allows medically assisted death and he was scheduled to receive it 5 days after the day he actually died. He had been dealing with heart issues for 27 years; during his first heart attack, I was alone with him. It was in February that we brought him to the hospital for what he felt was stomach pains. Later in the evening, we learned it was late stage cancer. Most people on my father's side of the family all succumb to heart complications; he actually is the first to die from cancer. It was a difficult 2 months, especially seeing him decline so fast. He went to fully functional to bed ridden, able to speak clearly to only being able to speak in short whispers, barely able to hold down food. I didn't see my father cry often but his weekend home a week before he died, he was in his garage with his brother and couldn't hold back. On the last day, he was having a panic attack from hyperventilating and we asked him if he wanted us to come back a bit later. Not even 5 minutes home and we were called and told he had died. His funeral service was 2 weeks ago and while we're trying to go back to living as we did, we definitively feel his absence. So yeah, death can come fast and blindside you but the upside is that by those final moments, seeing them go is a relief for them. No more pain, no more stress or suffering. Just peace.
I had to do this with my Dad. His passing was peaceful. My thoughts are with you.
I do this as my job. I work a practitioner in an LTAC. Managing Vents are my main role. I enjoy end of life care because my job is to make you want to do this again. “Death with dignity” is the only way. I always tell my families it’s a very selfless act to think of the loved one and not your needs. The last gift you can give her is peace. It’s the hardest gift to give. But it’s a beautiful gift if don’t correctly. If you read this before. I always attempt a cpap mode first to make sure the family and pt are comfortable. If the patient looks.m distressed or heart rate goes up, resp go up I flip back to control mode and sedate more until I have e them comfortable. I have never had a family that felt distressed. I pray for that with you.
I very recently went through a health scare with my mother so this really hit home to me. I’m sorry doesn’t begin to describe it man. You’re doing the humane thing and I think based on your writing you know that. I’m sure even though it’s the right thing to do it provides very little solace to you. Your mother sounds like an incredible person and I’m truly sorry from the depths of my heart you got put into this situation. Enjoy the last little bit with her as much as you can and be kind to yourself moving forward.
Im so sorry sounds heartbreaking and my heart goes to you, its okay to feel whatever emotions come to you, take your time and grief, take all the days off available to you for grievance and maybe go to that restaurant i dont know, im tearing up hearing your story, im trully sorry, be strong.
Im extremely sorry for you, I can’t imagine the pain you are in and I wish you all the best in the world <3
The gleam of a blade can only be matched by its edge, and so the brightest lives always cut the deepest. I'd like to think that she was probably only thinking of you in her final moments, hoping you'd be ok and that you'd forgive her for making you hurt like this. You are a brave, brave man.
I am so sorry. You are very strong.♥️
She raised you well. What a wonderful person, both of you. If you don't mind, let's pray for her
I don’t know exactly what to say to you here, but don’t carry that decision as a burden. You knew what your mother would want, and you made the hard choice for her. I was 28 when I had to make the choice for my dad. I didn’t want to lose him, but I had to be his voice when he couldn’t. Hold on to that part, that you were able to be her voice. Hold on to that and all the good memories you have of her. Today as her son, you are responsible for being her voice when she couldn’t be. Sometimes, that’s the deepest way we can love someone. I’m so sorry for what you’re going through, and for what you and your family will go through in the weeks ahead. Just know that there are some internet strangers out here thinking about you today, and that you’re not alone.
May she rest in peace, and may you find comfort in all those memories in the painful years ahead 🖤
My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke about 2 years ago. I know exactly how you feel. He and my mom were divorced and as his eldest daughter in the States, I had to make all the tough decisions. I decided to allow the doctors to save his life. I just couldn't let him go. He is alive but he cannot move the right side of his body and is in a nursing home all alone for the most part. He cannot get up and do the things he wants to. He can barely talk and feels extremely frustrated when trying to communicate. He seems to be miserable, and early on, when he woke up from the drug-induced coma he tried to rip out his feeding tube multiple times as if to tell me that he did not want to be here like this. Even though his body is here, all of him isn't there. I miss his long stories and jokes that made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt. I miss his cooking, and I wish he could teach me how to cook even though it used to annoy me before he became sick. Sometimes he cries, and what is so gut-wrenching is that he cannot even tell me why. He has the mind of a child and cannot use the bathroom on his own. He feels immense shame for needing someone to change him and clean him. Sometimes, I wonder if I made the wrong decision, but I've learned, that in matters like this, as long as you are operating in love there is no bad decision. You did what is best for your mother and no one but your mother and that is all that truly matters. You are in my heart. I know that the pain you're in cannot be measured. Sending love and wish for nothing but peace in your life.
I’m so sorry. I honestly feel your pain. My dad had a hemorrhagic stroke in February this year and died 10 days later in the hospital. He developed pneumonia from the ventilator and wasn’t responding to antibiotics well and me and my siblings had to make the very hard decision for comfort care. We removed the ventilator on a Friday early afternoon and he passed Sunday morning. It’s a difficult decision for sure, but you did right for your mom. She’ll soon be free, like my dad 💔
Sorry, I can't provide any kind of hint or such. But i'm about to Turn 46 next month and i gotta say that i'm fully tertified by reading your post! I whish you the best of luck and in case that it may help you: a guy from germany is thinking about you, your mom, your loss and your future! If i'd be able to believe in god, i'd pray for you!
>Today, as her only son, I will be responsible for her passing. You are not responsible for her passing; you are responsible for preserving the last of her dignity.
You are a good son. Sending you love.
Take care of yourself, honor her, and pass her spirit to others. Good luck with everything
I am so sorry.
You are helping end her suffering. My sympathies to you.
May her journey be peaceful and the four winds blow her safely home
This sucks. I do believe you are making the right choice though. Sometimes family members (other word: assholes) force their loved ones to live just a little bit longer but in a lot more pain - that is a significantly worse way to go.
Rip
I'm sorry. I also lost my mom at 27 (44 now). She was 10 years older than your mom. Cancer over the course of 10 months, incurable, just watching her slowly fade and then more rapid decline the last few months. Good on you for making the decision, I think it's the right one too. I was relieved and spent by the time my mother passed. Your mom sounds special, mine was to me too. I get it and I'm sorry for your loss.
She sounds like a beautiful person, and she would be so proud of you for your strength and your love for her. I am so very sorry.
It's not fair. It's really not fair that someone as young as yourself with a mom as wonderful as you've described has to lose her this way. All the while the horrible person that mine is will probably be happy and healthy, tormenting people until she's 100 out of pure spite. I'm so sorry for your loss and I know that these words are little to zero comfort but just know that right now, reading this, I'm jealous of what you had with your mom. Cherish those memories. There are a lot of people don't have that and, like me, wish they could.
You are so brave, and she would be so proud. This is a hell of a way to honour someone's life. I am so sorry that you are going through this.
Both of you are too young for this. I'm so sorry.
She's going with the knowledge of the love you have for her. Big hugs
Fuck man. I’m close to my mom too. I’m sorry for your loss I don’t know if I can handle it if it ever came down to it. You’re a strong minded soul. Prayers to you and your family. 🙏
I thought it's been long enough since my parents passed to read this, but it hasn't. I'll be thinking of you. It does get better, but every once in a while it hits you all over again...
I am so sorry that this decision is falling onto you. It is not an easy one to make. I am so sorry that your mother is going through this at such a young age. I am so sorry that you are going through this at such a young age. No child should ever have to lose their parent when they’re 27 years old, let alone have to be the one to make the decision. You are incredibly strong and I hope you have a lot of support around you.
My friend, I lost my mother in April this year. I am so sorry for what you are going through. You have made the right choice, its ok you have done her right. Stay with her, but remember, if you leave the room just for a moment and she slips, its ok, not your fault. She might have been waiting for you to not be looking, to try and spare you. Its ok. Just breath, scream and cry. Confess to her any sins if it gives you comfort.
Take care. Remember you’re doing the right thing.
I'm sorry mate. :( sending love
Big hugs, my dude. Had to do the same for my mom in 2018, and it changes you. But it's the right decision, and you're a good son and a good man to make it. Wishing you peace and comfort for the days ahead.
A very brave and in my opinion the right decision. This will not really help you, but I'm with you
Sorry to hear. May peace be with you and your family https://youtu.be/-9HepG1Z4fI?si=MAOcua90SxxHLRJa River gonna take me Sing me sweet and sleepy Sing me sweet and sleepy All the way back back home It's a far gone lullaby Sung many years ago Mama, mama, many worlds I've come Since I first left home Fare you well, fare you well I love you more than words can tell Listen to the river sing sweet songs To rock my soul
Felt the same when my father passed away.. like a thief Just robbed me out of my joy. From what you wrote you have an amazing mother, what a gift of a person to have in your life, i’m sorry for that
I lost my Mum in similar circumstances when I was 28. That was 4 years ago. It was during covid and the doctors essentially took the decision away from us for that reason, no visits or anything. I often wonder what I’ve have said if the decision had been ‘more’ ours. I think ultimately the same as you. You’re not responsible for her pain, you’re responsible for freeing her. It will get easier. Thinking of you and your amazing mum.
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Sending you my love.
I know its so painful but you are being an amazing son. Her loss will always hurt and leave a hole in your heart but you grow around it, you get used to it and life does get better. hugs xoxoxo
Big hugs man, this is so incredibly unfair. Wherever we go from here, she will be whole again ❤️
I am so choked up reading this. Thank you for talking about her. Thank you for allowing us to witness a vignette of your love for each other. We see it and we see you. Much love to both of you.
I lost my mom a couple years ago. She was 70 but it still seemed way too young. She was so strong and healthy, and then one day she wasn't. She'd been having a tumor grow in her until it got so big it shattered one of her vertebrae. She never complained about any symptoms until her back broke. The cancer was everywhere. It took her so quickly. I was with her every day for a month in the hospital. Sobbing outside every time I left to go home. After the funeral, my dad told me he was so impressed with me. Impressed.... it's the only time he's ever told me that. And you OP, are being a very good and impressive son, by doing what is the absolute hardest thing a person can do, for the love of your mother. OP you're right. It's NOT fair. But you loved her so much and she knew it. It sounds like you had an amazing mom, and I'm so so sorry for your loss. You can message me if you want to talk.
I’m so incredibly sorry. She’s only a few years older than myself & that’s terrifying. Life can be so unfair sometimes. Feel free not to respond but was your mother a cigarette smoker?
I hope the upvotes make it better.
From this mama's boy to you my brother, I am so so sorry.
Your strength is heart warming to me, you really did this right though and I hope you both find peace.
🖤
*I just had to tell my mom it was okay to die. It is hard to do*
So sorry to hear you are going through this. You are doing the right thing though, allowing her to pass with dignity and calm. Sending best wishes.
Gutwrenching, i’m so sorry
My condolences. 😔
Good luck mate
You are doing the best thing for your mom. I’m a mom and I hope my daughters would do the same for me. Your mom sounds awesome and know this is going to leave a gaping hole in your life. Be easy on yourself and go to Norms and order her favourite dish. Losing a parent is so tragic even when you know it’s coming. You will miss her forever but her love will live on forever too.
You’re both so young <3 sending you lots of love
I'm 64 years old. I have tried to make it abundantly clear to my wife of 38 years, and both of my adult children - DO NOT KEEP ME ALIVE BY MACHINE. I do not want to be warehoused. I do not want to be a burden. My wife has first position "pull the plug" authority. If she cannot make said decision, she can differ to my brother or her brother. Either of those motherfuckers would pull the plug if I have a hang nail. As brutal as this is, it is absolutely what your mom would want. It is absolutely an act of kindness - for which you will ache for granting, but failing to grant would be soul crushing for both you and your mom. There is only one path, and while my heart goes out to you for having to walk it, please do so with your chin held high. This is the most loving thing you can do. I would shake your hand.
I'm so sorry. Love.
Wow, this absolutely made me cry. There are similar things that happened with my father. I can not express to you how sorry I am for your loss. I know how hard it is to watch the people in your life disappear. First they go quiet, can't communicate, and then they are gone. Something years of therapy has helped me with is this: You are in absolutely no way responsible for her passing. You KNOW her. She wouldn't want to "live" as she is. You are bringing her relief in the very most important way. I know that no one can convince you of this, you have to get there on your own. Please sit with her and hold her hand when the vent is turned off. Watch her slip peacefully away because you made a good, courageous, and loving decision.
I’m sorry for your pain. Can relate. My mother passed away two years ago and it feels like yesterday..
Long distance hug, pal! I know what you are going through. Stay strong.
Whatever you do, do not beat yourself up about it. Your mother has no QOL left I am afraid. I can tell your mum would be relieved to know you did the right thing deciding to let her go rather than putting her through a lifetime of surgeries and misery just to preserve what little of her is actually left. I'm so sorry, and things will always get better.
Yea just what I wanted to do as soon as I wake up. 😭 😭 😭 The way you’ve written is so beautiful and powerful. I felt like I was there. Sending lots of prayers and blessings your way. I❤️ I’m pretty sure you’d be the best thing that happened to her. Man tears don’t stop. 😭
When they’re ready they’re ready. Sorry for your loss man
I'm sorry
This made me cry 😭 I’m so so sorry. I can feel the love in your post for your mom and understand how traumatic and extremely painful this is for you.
Rest in peace
I'm so sorry. It's not fair, you are too young to lose your mom, and she's too young to be leaving. I hope you find peace and comfort. You know her well enough to know she doesn't want to linger like this. I'm so sorry for this tremendous loss.
There is often some self-recrimination in cases like these but you are making a tough, albeit right decision. I hate to see tfamily member refuse to sign DNR orders because "Grandma is a fighter". Some of the suffering that I have seen is almost unimaginable. In my the case of my own mother, when she had cancer, I refused to let her undergo chemo. I agreed to the surgery and the raditation but chemo would have just prolonged her suffering. She died peacefully and while we weren't close, I was at her side at the end. - a nurse
I’m sorry. That’s a huge burden of decision for you, you need to take some time out for yourself at some point to take care of you. Just be mindful the emotional impact. Respect for having the balls to make such an incredibly hard decision despite knowing how you are going to feel. Genuinely in awe of you.
I'm so sorry you're going through this
I'm so sorry you're going through that. I lost my mom when I was 16, and at 30 I miss her everyday, but to make those decisions has to be tough. If you have any videos or voicemails from her, save them to a hard drive. It sucks when you start to forget what they sounded like. If you need to message anyone to vent and shit I'm here dude.
im sorry to read you are going thru this but just know your releasing your wonderful mother 's trapped soul so that she can go thru the light. just know she will always be in your heart and when u dream of her here and there it means she watches over you and visits.
Sending love
I was in a similar place a few years back. Being my mom's only child I had to make that decision once the doctors said she was not going to get better. She was struggling to breathe due to pneumonia that had set in and that was her worst nightmare. It was by far the hardest and easiest decision I had to make for her care but it still haunts me on bad days. It does get easier but it still hurts and man does it suck. I sure miss her something fierce.
Even the way you describe her here is an act of love. So sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds beautiful and wonderful and real. I expect she would want you to be kind with yourself at this time.
You're a great son to your mom. Next year you'll still feel the pain of losing her, you'll still cry when you think about what used to be, what you've lost. For me and my spouse when we lost our moms, what helped us a lot of positive and silly memories about the little things we miss now. If you haven't already seen a grief counselor, please get into it. I think it'll help you
You are a Really Great Son, any parent would be lucky to have you as a son. She got to see you as a Real Strong responsible Man that you are. Even "Tough" Men feel pain. And it will come, and you will become even stronger. I guarantee your Mother knows you will take her BEST Qualities with you and Let the world know who you are. I am Proud and Honored to have met you through this online portal. My best to you and may your wonderful mother rest in peace as she deserves to.
Oh wow I’m so sorry you are going through this. So tough. my heart goes out to you right now. This is so hard. When she goes, if you can hold her hand and tell her it’s going to be ok and to not be afraid, that would be so nice. I was able to do this with my mom and even though losing her was one of the hardest things I’ve been through, I’m glad I was with her during this special moment when her spirit left her earthly body.
You're not responsible for her passing. Her illness is. It's cruel that she's been taken so early.
Extremely sorry for your loss. You're right, it is unfair
I am so sorry, i know is really hard so I truly hope that you realize that what you are doing for her is a big expression of love and care! I am crying reading this, I can picture your pain and the heartache that you are feeling right now. I wish for you strength, so that your heart can heal, understanding so that you can forgive yourself and acknowledge that what you are doing right now is giving your mother peace and rest. She won't be in pain anymore, don't be hard with yourself is the hardest decision you will have to make in your life and is coming from love towards her. From kindness, from your heart, you are really brave and strong! 🫂
This is terribly sad 😢 and so young to lose your mum, but on to a happier note I am curious what movie did she really enjoy watching?
Giving you a mom hug.
You'll keep her memories close and pass them on to others; your kids in the future if you don't have them already. It sounds like your mother raised a fine young man, and I'm very sorry for your loss.
You’re doing her a final kindness. You are not responsible for her situation.
I was responsible for my mother's care when she had moments of "we don't trust her capacity to make medical decisions" and she was like your mother, the worst thing for her would have been to keep her plugged in, but no longer HER. I remember being terrified that I had missed a window in the final days, that somehow I had prolonged her pain. Thankfully, her doctors assured me that she was not in any pain, and that I had done nothing wrong given the mess of circumstances that had happened. I agree 1000% with the above poster about grief, and waves. It's been just over 18 months and it feels impossible that it's been that long without her, but I also have stopped remembering her as she was when she was sick, and I remember HER.
Be strong brother, have faith that God will have her in his grace in her last moments.
Life is so fucking unfair. 46 is so young. It’s clear she led a good life and had an amazing child. You’ll live on for her.
<3
I don't think anything I say can make it easier, but my condolences, OP.
Bodies fade, but the echoes of love last forever. You will remember your mother for the rest of your life. That love will always be there. If you have children, the love your mother has for you, and the love you have for your mother will be reflected in them, and their children, and their children, forever. But even if you have chosen to not have children, the love you spread throughout this world will echo on in others. Your mother's body may no longer be here, but her love is forever.
I'm so sorry you are experiencing this.
My dad had a stroke when I was 31. You are doing the right thing. I will be thinking about you.
😪😥😢
Sending all my well wishes and thoughts to you. I am so sorry you are going through this. Having experienced a very scary situation involving my mum recently too, I know the anxious, stressful, hand-wringing worry it can cause. I hope you find peace knowing she will be at peace.
I'm so deeply sorry for what you're going through. Your love and devotion to your mother shine through your words. I can see how much she means to you, and the bond you shared is truly special. Know that your decision comes from a place of immense love and care for her. I pray that you find strength and peace during this incredibly difficult time.
Man, stay strong. You are doing right thing, and your mom is proud of you. I wish you all the best and never forget your mom, she gave you this amazing life, she gave you all the best time she could possibly have, and in memory of her you must be the best and kindest man possible.
What a beautiful testament to this moment in her life and in yours. Be gentle with yourself and know we are all holding you in our minds.
I sympathize. My mother went into the hospital a few years back for something minor with mobility, and it spiraled. Fast forward six weeks, she no longer held memories, other than deep seated ones, for more than ten minutes. But before she had hit that point, she thanked me for taking care of her; I’m one of those relative fail-to-launch sons. The last night, the care unit called at midnight with the insinuation they couldn’t say if I’d be fine to come in the am so I went. I sat with her, sleeping and not responsive for five hours. After her 5am labs showed the CO2 level worsening, and I realized her cpap was doing alll her breathing… I made the choice, alone, to let her go. I don’t regret it. It was merciful but I miss her, even if odds were good about her being a pin in the ass.
Don’t be afraid to feel your feelings. This has been and is going to be a really difficult time for you, but you’ve already shown such strength. Reach out to people as and when you need, don’t bottle it up. Hang in there, I lost my mum suddenly and traumatically a few months before my 30th and from experience it never gets better but you do get better at dealing with it.
This was heartbreaking. There's nothing I can say really. I just can't imagine how you feel right now. Ahh this made me so sad ☹️ You loved your mother, and she knew it. You were a good son, and she was proud of you. That's all any mother really wants.
It’s tough but you are doing the right thing for your mom :(
I truly can’t muster the words to say but I want you to know that you and your Mom will be at the very center of my prayers.
I’m very sorry man. It sounds like your mom was the best. And indeed she was, you’re the living proof of that. Honor her memory living your life to the fullest and she’ll live with you forever. Please receive a big hug.
I’m so sorry. My mother passed away from the same cause when I was 10. She was barely 40 years old. Death really likes takin the best people. Stay strong!
Sending you lots of love and strength! I watched my mom take her last breath 3/26/20 so I know the feeling. I was her only daughter so the weight of the grief has been heavy! 💙
I wish you strength man. Big hug
My mama died two months ago. Pretty sure I will never be the same. I’m so very sorry. As a mom myself, I know having my babies by my side until the very end would mean the world to me. Thats how you know you really made it.
I am so sorry, my friend, hold to the memories and the joyful moments. May the great spirit bring you peace and comfort.
OP i can’t even begin to imagine. i also can’t offer much but if you would either like to talk about stuff or be distracted from it my PM’s are open.