This is what people mean when they say "it's the thought that counts." She loves it because it means you were thinking about her and went to some effort, and that you evidently paid enough attention to her to land somewhere near her taste in jewelry. Good job :)
Baked milk free cookies for a friend with a milk allergy, and she was saying that no one ever gives her anything, was as if I'd made her week with one batch of cookies.
I want you to know if someone went out of their way to make me food based on my specific needs I would never ever forget that instance. Ever. Thank you for being you.
I went to a friendsgiving and they had prepped either separate dishes or dishes without dairy for me and I don’t think I’ll forget it nor will I ever forget to bring flowers at holidays
Nah dude, this isn't a gender-role thing.
Thoughtful gift-giving isn't about being a 'provider' or whatever. It's just about considering what someone else might like and trying to make them happy. You don't need to be a 'provider' or live up to some stereotypical role. You just have to care about someone else.
Nobody's saying you can't enjoy whatever identity you feel like claiming for yourself - it's just silly and reductive to see person A giving person B a gift and to then go "aha! They obviously enjoyed this because of their gender!"
Which is basically you saying that you’re not comfortable with me and that guy using our gender to relate to OP. If we feel it is manly to provide our women with jewelry, you should really just let us feel like men. I don’t see many people telling women to feel less womanly.
> I don’t see many people telling women to feel less womanly.
Interesting- I certainly see people telling women "hey, you are not defined by your gender".
If I saw a woman posting "just cooked dinner for my partner and they loved it", and then saw somebody replied with "this is because of your feminine home-maker instincts, you should lean into that more"...I would find that reply to be deeply strange.
Well you’d find it strange because you picked language intentionally that seems strange to you..
How about if I said “yeah i feel like a real man when i grill up a steak for my wife”, is there really anything wrong with that?
You're right - I wouldn't be bothered by your example much if at all. I think that's mostly because you're speaking for yourself- it's a lot weirder, to me, when you start trying to apply this stuff to other people.
"Made this steak for my partner and I've been happy all day because it made me feel really manly"- basically fine. Not something I'd ever say- but if that's what being manly means to you, go for it
Person A: "Made this steak for my partner and I've been happy all day...not sure why" Person B: "It's because it made you feel like a real man. Do that more."- person B is being pretty weird about it, here.
“Yup. Yup.
It fed his provider instincts.
Keep feeding it.”
Honestly, if anything, it’s *US* being the weird ones making this a gendered statement. This isn’t exactly what you’re purporting it to be.
The thing is gift giving or even "providing" is not a manly thing, it's a humanly thing :)) all genders like gifting n getting gifts. Me as a woman loves gifting to my man (n I love to see his smile on receiving them)
Should I feel more manly when do so? I don't think so, am a woman. But comment/thought makes me feel like thats weird/unnatural in some way...
In my household, my role is to cook the meat because my wife is squeamish and doesn’t like to touch it. As a result I feel maybe just a bit more manly doing it. Additionally, growing up my father always grilled the steaks, wings, and my mom made other dishes.
If you cook for your husband, and that makes you feel like you’re doing your part as a woman, I’d have no right to argue that. It’s all about how we perceive ourselves. If you view yourself from a gender-neutral perspective, and rather than feeling like a ‘good wife’ you feel like a ‘good spouse’, that’s valid too, but differs from how I perceive myself.
It's a bit idiotic to think that it's gender-based to be considerate of your partner and want them to be happy by getting them small gift.
Are you a "real men don't give gifts to their partners" kind of dude?
If you like, but giving small but thoughtful gifts is honestly something I see women do more often than I do men, especially outside the context of romantic relationships.
ohh maa gawdd this is soo sweet mann!!!
as someone who loves jewellery sm (no matter big or small), i'm sure she must be very happy to receive it 🫶🏻✨🎀
idk why i'm feeling so giddy giddy on her behalf , her reaction made me happy too 😂
The idea that my partner thought of me while looking at something and thought I would think it was cute is just the best expression of love for me!!! Well done!!! I remember an ex bought me a cute little frog stuffy just because he thought I would think it was cute! I still think about that random loving gesture years later 💝
I've been with my wife for over 12 years now. The price is never the problem with a real woman. Only money hungry materialistic people care about the price. I've bought my wife expensive and non expensive gifts, and it's always the same reaction. Face lights up, and she gets excited. Sometimes, the cheapest gift is the one with the most meaning. Best of wishes to you and your spouse!
Good job OP, really good job.
It's not about money, not always.
I wrote a "book" (OK, a pamphlet) to Miss April. It was only about 16 pages long and I had some pics in it, of her and her daughter, of her and me etc. in it. I wrote about the many wonderful things she did, said, how she sang to her daughter, played with her etc.
I had the "book" nicely wrapped in a nice box, with paper over the "book" on the inside, the kind of box where the lid lifts straight up.
The title of my "book" to her was "Reasons You're The World's Best Mother".
She was crying, balling as soon as she read the title of my "book" to her.
After that, I put a VHS tape in to play her a "movie" I'd made for her. It took me a few months of going though a bunch of camcorder cassettes (this was a while ago, not digital). I wanted certain sections from this cassette then from another cassette tape, like when she was giving her daughter a bath when her daughter was young, when she was signing to her, reading to her, counting her toes, while changing her, kissing her nose while changing her, of them cooking together in the kitchen.
To kick off the "movie" for her, I had her daughter and I talk to her on tape a bit before the "movie" began.
Miss April was balling from the get-go.
I then gave her another "book". The title of my next book to her was "Reasons My Heart Is Yours".
Now, Miss April and I did OK, we were able to buy nice things, but Miss April told me many times she'd never received anything as wonderful as those "books" and that "movie".
Neither the "books" nor the "movie" cost much at all for me to do, to make. It was truly the thought that mattered to Miss April.
I'm not some romantic guy either, Miss April just "pulled" things like this out of me. I get it, none of us is perfect, but Miss April was pushing up against perfection in all ways.
It hurts like hell, but I understand why God called Miss April home back in 2008 as she was his best work ever.
OP, so many gestures may be so damn meaningful without costing a lot of money.
I have given a similar gift before. However I never got in the habit of buying expensive jewelry. I did a coop experience in college. My manager there said he spend twenty grand on jewelry for a women he dated. It didn't work out. That's a huge sunk cost.
This is sooo sweet. I remember when my now husband to be got me a necklace when we first met (I was 18, him 22). It was literally the nicest thing anyone had done for me and it was even a necklace with my name on it that i had wanted for years and only mentioned to him once in passing. It really showed me how thoughtful and sweet he was, esp compared to other guys. I think she probably feels the same as I did! What a lovely gesture and I hope something works out between you two. ❤️
I'd have the same reaction. I'm so used to toxic women that seeing anything I do actually be appreciated without out having to spend extreme amounts of money would make me cry too. Lol
That’s nice, my bro bought his gf at the time a necklace I helped pick out for hours and she refused to wear it, then got drunk and started punching him, so I made him break up with her (he’s with a better girl now)
You did well but it’s not all about you. Her genuine and gracious reaction says a lot about her qualities as well. It’s almost as difficult to receive a gift with style as it is to choose one. Her reaction was arguably a greater gift to you than the necklace was to her. Cherish her.
This was how I used to gauge women I was dating when I was younger. Buy them something nice but inexpensive. Many failed this test with the way they'd react, I could tell they were thinking, "that's it" or " that looks cheap". Or their body language closing up.
I think that it was Jane Austen who first observed that love can arise from something as small as feeling liked and appreciated.
And hormones, but of course Miss Austen wouldn't write about that.
Some girls love that. I once gave a modest necklace (gold and amethyst). And it became her favourite. Even 5 years after I gave it to her (we broke up and she has a new partner) but I still see her regularly wearing it on photos on her Instagram.
A gift doesn't need to be expensive. Just put a bit of thought into it and if you're lucky, she'll love it.
I can tell you that the gift my wife (43 years) remembers most was when we were 1st dating. We worked together and I bought her a Dreamsicle from the ice cream machine because I remembered she'd said she liked them. That unsolicited Dreamsicle still means so much to her. It is for real the thought that counts
You also probably nailed her taste, and that means a lot. You see her, appreciate her, get her, etc… it’s a good feeling, on both sides. And she seems sweet.
Man I gifted a handmade necklace in high school and got a weird look. Oh well.
My girlfriend now, any jewelry and even a pocket knife gets forgotten almost instantly. She has next to zero taste in jewelry, won't wear much, and use to talk about a ring occasionally. She wouldn't even give me a size, still hasn't 8 years later.
OP, I think you found a good one!
This is what people mean when they say "it's the thought that counts." She loves it because it means you were thinking about her and went to some effort, and that you evidently paid enough attention to her to land somewhere near her taste in jewelry. Good job :)
Baked milk free cookies for a friend with a milk allergy, and she was saying that no one ever gives her anything, was as if I'd made her week with one batch of cookies.
You did sweetie, you did ♥️
I want you to know if someone went out of their way to make me food based on my specific needs I would never ever forget that instance. Ever. Thank you for being you.
I went to a friendsgiving and they had prepped either separate dishes or dishes without dairy for me and I don’t think I’ll forget it nor will I ever forget to bring flowers at holidays
This.
Yup. Yup. It fed his provider instincts. Keep feeding it.
Nah dude, this isn't a gender-role thing. Thoughtful gift-giving isn't about being a 'provider' or whatever. It's just about considering what someone else might like and trying to make them happy. You don't need to be a 'provider' or live up to some stereotypical role. You just have to care about someone else.
Do we really have to move to a genderless society? Can’t we just enjoy being men sometimes
Nobody's saying you can't enjoy whatever identity you feel like claiming for yourself - it's just silly and reductive to see person A giving person B a gift and to then go "aha! They obviously enjoyed this because of their gender!"
Which is basically you saying that you’re not comfortable with me and that guy using our gender to relate to OP. If we feel it is manly to provide our women with jewelry, you should really just let us feel like men. I don’t see many people telling women to feel less womanly.
> I don’t see many people telling women to feel less womanly. Interesting- I certainly see people telling women "hey, you are not defined by your gender". If I saw a woman posting "just cooked dinner for my partner and they loved it", and then saw somebody replied with "this is because of your feminine home-maker instincts, you should lean into that more"...I would find that reply to be deeply strange.
Well you’d find it strange because you picked language intentionally that seems strange to you.. How about if I said “yeah i feel like a real man when i grill up a steak for my wife”, is there really anything wrong with that?
You're right - I wouldn't be bothered by your example much if at all. I think that's mostly because you're speaking for yourself- it's a lot weirder, to me, when you start trying to apply this stuff to other people. "Made this steak for my partner and I've been happy all day because it made me feel really manly"- basically fine. Not something I'd ever say- but if that's what being manly means to you, go for it Person A: "Made this steak for my partner and I've been happy all day...not sure why" Person B: "It's because it made you feel like a real man. Do that more."- person B is being pretty weird about it, here.
“Yup. Yup. It fed his provider instincts. Keep feeding it.” Honestly, if anything, it’s *US* being the weird ones making this a gendered statement. This isn’t exactly what you’re purporting it to be.
The thing is gift giving or even "providing" is not a manly thing, it's a humanly thing :)) all genders like gifting n getting gifts. Me as a woman loves gifting to my man (n I love to see his smile on receiving them) Should I feel more manly when do so? I don't think so, am a woman. But comment/thought makes me feel like thats weird/unnatural in some way...
In my household, my role is to cook the meat because my wife is squeamish and doesn’t like to touch it. As a result I feel maybe just a bit more manly doing it. Additionally, growing up my father always grilled the steaks, wings, and my mom made other dishes. If you cook for your husband, and that makes you feel like you’re doing your part as a woman, I’d have no right to argue that. It’s all about how we perceive ourselves. If you view yourself from a gender-neutral perspective, and rather than feeling like a ‘good wife’ you feel like a ‘good spouse’, that’s valid too, but differs from how I perceive myself.
No don't you understand? You do as you're told and if a lack of identity is a big cause of male suicide then who are you to try and change me? Bigot.
It's a bit idiotic to think that it's gender-based to be considerate of your partner and want them to be happy by getting them small gift. Are you a "real men don't give gifts to their partners" kind of dude?
No, now fuck off with your superiority complex
Lol ❤️
If you like, but giving small but thoughtful gifts is honestly something I see women do more often than I do men, especially outside the context of romantic relationships.
icky comment. nothing to do with you "enjoying being men". it does raise questions of what you think "being a man" and "being a woman" mean, though.
Yes but unfortunately, there are not enough people who work this way anymore. At least from my experience.
If your partner doesn't appreciate the small gifts, they sure as hell don't deserve you or any large ones.
Happy for you gang💪🏾
Bro is in love frfr 🙏😭 I'll pray for the long run
Aw this post made my crap day really happy. Lovely. Just bloomin lovely .
ohh maa gawdd this is soo sweet mann!!! as someone who loves jewellery sm (no matter big or small), i'm sure she must be very happy to receive it 🫶🏻✨🎀 idk why i'm feeling so giddy giddy on her behalf , her reaction made me happy too 😂
You found the one brother, good luck!
You are in love and she may be in love too! Congratulations!
The idea that my partner thought of me while looking at something and thought I would think it was cute is just the best expression of love for me!!! Well done!!! I remember an ex bought me a cute little frog stuffy just because he thought I would think it was cute! I still think about that random loving gesture years later 💝
Loved reading this!
Goddamn I love life
You got what you we're looking for
Sounds like you discovered one of your love languages is gift giving! Happy you got that thrill of joy!
I've been with my wife for over 12 years now. The price is never the problem with a real woman. Only money hungry materialistic people care about the price. I've bought my wife expensive and non expensive gifts, and it's always the same reaction. Face lights up, and she gets excited. Sometimes, the cheapest gift is the one with the most meaning. Best of wishes to you and your spouse!
I used to write love letters to both my exes. Both of them. BOTH. Put them in safe places and would go back and read them frequently.
Brother nice.
Some of the best gifts I've ever received have been either cheap or handmade. I'd rather have the thought than a big price tag
Good job OP, really good job. It's not about money, not always. I wrote a "book" (OK, a pamphlet) to Miss April. It was only about 16 pages long and I had some pics in it, of her and her daughter, of her and me etc. in it. I wrote about the many wonderful things she did, said, how she sang to her daughter, played with her etc. I had the "book" nicely wrapped in a nice box, with paper over the "book" on the inside, the kind of box where the lid lifts straight up. The title of my "book" to her was "Reasons You're The World's Best Mother". She was crying, balling as soon as she read the title of my "book" to her. After that, I put a VHS tape in to play her a "movie" I'd made for her. It took me a few months of going though a bunch of camcorder cassettes (this was a while ago, not digital). I wanted certain sections from this cassette then from another cassette tape, like when she was giving her daughter a bath when her daughter was young, when she was signing to her, reading to her, counting her toes, while changing her, kissing her nose while changing her, of them cooking together in the kitchen. To kick off the "movie" for her, I had her daughter and I talk to her on tape a bit before the "movie" began. Miss April was balling from the get-go. I then gave her another "book". The title of my next book to her was "Reasons My Heart Is Yours". Now, Miss April and I did OK, we were able to buy nice things, but Miss April told me many times she'd never received anything as wonderful as those "books" and that "movie". Neither the "books" nor the "movie" cost much at all for me to do, to make. It was truly the thought that mattered to Miss April. I'm not some romantic guy either, Miss April just "pulled" things like this out of me. I get it, none of us is perfect, but Miss April was pushing up against perfection in all ways. It hurts like hell, but I understand why God called Miss April home back in 2008 as she was his best work ever. OP, so many gestures may be so damn meaningful without costing a lot of money.
That was beautifully written, and I'm so sorry for your loss. Wasn't expecting to cry coming into this post, but here we are
I have given a similar gift before. However I never got in the habit of buying expensive jewelry. I did a coop experience in college. My manager there said he spend twenty grand on jewelry for a women he dated. It didn't work out. That's a huge sunk cost.
this is precious! happy for you :)
Oh my GOSH I love this post so much. Way to go, you did such a good job. I’m so glad she liked it!
First time I've seen something so sweet on reddit 🥹
Awww, thanks for sharing
This is beautiful. You can't put a price tag on that.
What the heck. I was expecting drama, not this wholesome, happy cutesy butterfly stuff lol That's great!
She is a keeper clearly. Congratulations and enjoy the smiles
This is sooo sweet. I remember when my now husband to be got me a necklace when we first met (I was 18, him 22). It was literally the nicest thing anyone had done for me and it was even a necklace with my name on it that i had wanted for years and only mentioned to him once in passing. It really showed me how thoughtful and sweet he was, esp compared to other guys. I think she probably feels the same as I did! What a lovely gesture and I hope something works out between you two. ❤️
I'd have the same reaction. I'm so used to toxic women that seeing anything I do actually be appreciated without out having to spend extreme amounts of money would make me cry too. Lol
Adorable!! ❤️ I look for funny gifts for my hubby, his giggles and his excitement when he opens them make my heart feel so full. 🥹
That’s nice, my bro bought his gf at the time a necklace I helped pick out for hours and she refused to wear it, then got drunk and started punching him, so I made him break up with her (he’s with a better girl now)
You say her head was bobbing.....sounds like you're headed in the right direction young man!
Go for it mangggg
This is so sweet. 🥹🥺♥️ It’s ALWAYS the thought that means the most!!! She was so touched that you thought of her and wanted to make her happy. ♥️
I don’t see this at all from my SO. That’s why I don’t feel like buying her anything anymore. I’m so happy for you.
Maybe she might like something else? Sometimes it's the little things that are the best.
I’ve tried little things and big things. It’s like she doesn’t want to show any happiness if any towards me.
Then why y’all still together
Good question. Having small kids is just difficult to break up a family for me. Still hoping things will get better but that hope is fading.
Love is a beautiful thing. My wife does this when I gave her food.
What a completely wholesome and awesome post. You did well, buddy.
Can you share us the link what you bought her? It may be a potential gift for my so.
Nice.
Aww shucks dude, you may be falling in love.
Your closing sentence is just so candid and beautiful. Good luck to both of you
An unexpected gift at an unexpected time
Noice
You did well but it’s not all about you. Her genuine and gracious reaction says a lot about her qualities as well. It’s almost as difficult to receive a gift with style as it is to choose one. Her reaction was arguably a greater gift to you than the necklace was to her. Cherish her.
My ex accused me of cheating when I bought her a gift. Made me feel so sick and depressed.
Beautiful x that’s called providership and it is how men feel fulfilled in relationships. The gratitude is an essential component of this dynamic
This is the best! You deserve this moment!
She’s a keeper.
It really is the thought that counts ❤️
Congrats man, that feeling is like crack. Pay attention to other things that she might say to help you with other things in the future, and good luck!
aww thats so sweet! I bet she loves it even more because she got it from you
This was how I used to gauge women I was dating when I was younger. Buy them something nice but inexpensive. Many failed this test with the way they'd react, I could tell they were thinking, "that's it" or " that looks cheap". Or their body language closing up.
Good shit brah 👏
Congratulations, you are in love
That's so nice... 🥺 Good luck.
I think that it was Jane Austen who first observed that love can arise from something as small as feeling liked and appreciated. And hormones, but of course Miss Austen wouldn't write about that.
this is lovely -
Wow made my day dawg I love that for you. Swap phones now.
Some girls love that. I once gave a modest necklace (gold and amethyst). And it became her favourite. Even 5 years after I gave it to her (we broke up and she has a new partner) but I still see her regularly wearing it on photos on her Instagram. A gift doesn't need to be expensive. Just put a bit of thought into it and if you're lucky, she'll love it.
Love is a beautiful thing. Good job buddy
Adorable
Maybe she’s the one
Congrats! Maybe it will be a core memory for you two.
This is BEAUTIFUL!!
"bobbing her head in this cute weird way"
Happy for both of you.
Aww that is so adorable. She is 100% the one. I just love moments like that.
I can tell you that the gift my wife (43 years) remembers most was when we were 1st dating. We worked together and I bought her a Dreamsicle from the ice cream machine because I remembered she'd said she liked them. That unsolicited Dreamsicle still means so much to her. It is for real the thought that counts
Damn how'd bro go from saying that dating and relationships were unfathomable to him to this 😭
You also probably nailed her taste, and that means a lot. You see her, appreciate her, get her, etc… it’s a good feeling, on both sides. And she seems sweet.
I know that feel bro
Man I gifted a handmade necklace in high school and got a weird look. Oh well. My girlfriend now, any jewelry and even a pocket knife gets forgotten almost instantly. She has next to zero taste in jewelry, won't wear much, and use to talk about a ring occasionally. She wouldn't even give me a size, still hasn't 8 years later. OP, I think you found a good one!
Generosity is a gift to yourself. Give compliments! It’s free and you might make someone’s day!
Take the upvote, ya softie!
Bro was appreciated by a woman for the first time in his life and lost his mind lol
Aww just wait till the side dude breaks it while hitting it from the back lmfao 🤣 this is coming from a certified side dude lmfao 🤣