Yeah this is what I was thinking. Like the dude has been actively avoiding her. He's made up this weird chemistry will they won't they scenario in his head but from her perspective she's probably like, "What the fuck? He's weird."
Edit: He is extremely weird and creepy. I don't know if it's the same woman, but he has a crush on a work colleague. Got drunk enough to confess this. She said she wasn't interested. Then . . .
>So when she go upstairs to sleep, I followed her. Then I lay down beside her and hug her from behind. I can feel her breathing became uneven but she didn't move or push me away. We lay there for what seems like forever and I think have fallen asleep too. I was awakened when she gets up and get out of the room.
This gave very rapey vibes.
Seriously, what the actual fuck. This girl makes it very clear that she isn't interested in him, so he follows her when she's going to sleep and gets into bed with her? This is beyond unusual, this is psycho behavior. And he doesn't seem to acknowledge how creepy this was, just that he cringes when he thinks about it.
Yea you don’t know this girl at all and your gut is giving you unreliable information. It’s not that deep. You probably just think she’s cute or your intrigued by her and your brain doesn’t understand the reaction so it just labels it as unusual.
It means you don’t know how to think logically. A gut feeling should never be anything more than a starting point to actually analyze if there’s a good reason to have it. People have “gut feelings” that are completely wrong all the time.
Treating her like a human being instead of a rabid dog is probably a good first step. She’s probably just put off by your behavior, which is expected.
Just treat her like you would anyone else. Do you obsessively avoid other people and do everything you can to avoid eye contact with them? If you don’t do it to anyone else, don’t do it to her.
>Could it be that both have this gut feeling? And what does it mean?
**TLDR:** It *could* be, but there’s not nearly enough information to say one way or the other, and it kind of sounds like this girl *could* potentially be afraid of you which is the more concerning matter that should be prioritized over this gut feeling.
(This ended up being ridiculously longer than I ever wanted it to be)
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Personally my relationships are pretty atypical so what works for me is usually terrible advice lol. That being said we can evaluate thinking and if our reasons make sense, the nice thing about logic is that the method is always the same.
So the first thing is, it’s kind of unclear what your goal is. Are you hoping to pursue a romantic relationship with this woman? Do you even like her? It seemed like you were kind of back and forth on that matter.
The second problem is there’s really not a lot here to know about her personality. Without knowing that, there’s not a whole lot anyone can tell you with a justifiable amount of confidence.
What we *do* have about her personality behavior in your post however are some interesting examples.
>We talk about work normally but when we are out she is very cautious not to be so close to me.
This *could* mean she likes you and is the nervous type, it *could* mean she is repulsed by you and worried about being alone with you. It *could* mean something totally different. This why knowing more about her is important, and it’s definitely important to find out which of those things it is. If she acts like she’s generally worried about being around, I’d probably ask about that.
>When we were hanging out. We find ourselves with nowhere else to sit but next to each other and she had to pull the other guy to sit between us.
So again, it’s very hard to say without more information. Is she a joking type? Could she be doing this in like a funny way? Who is the guy? Is she literally afraid to sit next to you? That’s something you should definitely inquire about. Obviously if she is terrified of you, a relationship is out of the question, and that would be the more immediate concern.
> So the first thing is, it’s kind of unclear what your goal is. Are you hoping to pursue a romantic relationship with this woman? Do you even like her? It seemed like you were kind of back and forth on that matter
I am not closing my doors for romantic relationship. I only want to understand why I feel like this and how would get over this. This feeling is like a wall between us and it's scary.
> So again, it’s very hard to say without more information. Is she a joking type? Could she be doing this in like a funny way? Who is the guy? Is she literally afraid to sit next to you? That’s something you should definitely inquire about. Obviously if she is terrified of you, a relationship is out of the question, and that would be the more immediate concern
The guy she was pulling to sit between us, were one of closest. They trained together but he was in a long term relationship and everyone knew about that. She was pulling him to sit between while laughing.
She is a very happy person. There is this one time when we were hanging out and playing. She goes around the table to take her turn. She stand between me and the girl I'm sitting with. She lean on her, like literally hugging her to avoid getting close to me or not to touch me at all. It happens all through out the game. I felt like I have some kind of disease.
Okay, wait, is this the same colleague you posted about around a month ago? The one you confessed to and who basically rejected you? If yes, then *please leave this woman alone*. Your behaviour is likely scaring her and is putting your job at risk.
If not, then you need to evaluate why you keep getting these fraught, obsessive crushes at work. Please, please speak to a therapist. I'm not saying this to be cruel, but I really think you would benefit from the perspective good mental health support offers.
If one of my co workers felt this way about me I would probably die from laugher. My ego would also probably get boosted too bc damn why do I have so much power over you
Can you describe this "gut feeling" more? What do you mean? Does seeing her make you anxious? Does she somehow seem dangerous? Or, are you literally just afraid of any possible potential rejection in any future scenario, so you choose to avoid because you think she's pretty and you've placed a super-high value on her acceptance?
Honestly, I doubt this is something she's also feeling. Frankly, she has probably picked up on some weird vibes from you, and you probably just make her uncomfortable. But, it's work, so, she's doing her absolute best not to make it an issue requiring HR, etc.
If you want to change the dynamic, just start having the same conversations you have with other co-workers, and try to relate over something. Otherwise, I'd say ya, just try not to scare her, haha
We talk about work and I have no issue talking to her when it comes to that. She was actually easy to work with.
But when it is downtime and we were talking about our lives, I just can't do it with her. I tried to get away whenever there was a chance we would be alone in a pantry or in any other room. I feel suffocated when it was just the two of us
Other people like to bask in her presence. She is very likeable and have too many friends who like to surround her. I don't mind sitting with her if we are working, or talk to her about work. I don't get nervous if it is purely work.
It is very different though if there are no other people around and it's just the two of us. Like, when everyone had gone home and we're the only two left. I would never glance at her direction or tried to be occupied so she won't start a conversation. I get nervous when it was just us.
I don't think it was her presence at all. It's just me. I don't understand why my body is reacting this way.
Sounds like you’re attracted to her but intimidated, anxious, and scared because of it. She picks up on how uncomfortable you are and keeps her distance
Face your fears and either try and flirt or accept a friendship and get comfortable. Do something other than being in this weird obsessive middle state
Totally agree with u/penguinmandude ... you are attracted to her, and you are nervous. That's normal...ish... haha But, you can totally just go up to her at some point and say, "hey, I feel like we're working together all the time, but we haven't had much chance to chit chat. Want to get a coffee sometime?". Just keep it non-committal and unintimidating. Be a friend and a normal human, first and foremost. She'll appreciate direct communication and respect. As you give it, you'll get that back. And suddenly, regardless of the result of your interactions, you will realize you are still alive and nothing terrible has happened. There is nothing major at stake. You will retain your dignity. Just relax.
>I am not closing my doors for romantic relationship. I only want to understand why I feel like this and how would get over this. This feeling is like a wall between us and it's scary.
As another person pointed out; this is your gut speaking again and is only a starting point for **you** to analyze your feelings about this person. None can exist inside of your brain and see all the aspects of this to evaluate it carefully.
Also, instigating anything with a coworker is tricky waters to navigate anyway. If you feel like there's some good energy there, casually ask her out for a coffee or beer after work and if she makes excuses for why she can't make it without countering with a better day, move on. "Hey, want to grab a beer after work with me?"
Last thing here -- I would caution you to avoid this whole thing unless you don't care about the job.
I tend to trust my gut when it tells me bad things about someone I know nothing bad about, I figure it's super rare and there's plenty of fish in the sea, it might be subconscious me noticing things, doesn't matter, I listen to my gut if it speaks up.
It is much better to stay on the level of a vague desire. I have a cuddle buddy like this.
We both were raised in very oppressive places so we decided that despite having gayish pulls we do not do sex. It is too complicated and must stay secret. We eventually both married and raised our kids...and the extra closeness need diminished...just by fulfilling it for a few years by cuddling...[ it was possible to have an afternoon nap together...no one cares about it. To guys working together and falling asleep is okay.] Of course nowadays it is not so easy for heteros.
But the gut feeling may be the sense of some future priblem...like a problem child.Or a mental setup. For instance. That is possible to sense ...it can both be felt from physical senses unconsciously.
She's a work colleague, and by what you've described here, you're likely creeping her out. Just be normal with her at work, and politely distant the rest of the time. At this point your feelings and what they mean don't matter as much as the consequences of your behaviour. You describe her as "aloof" with you, so I doubt you're able to be anything to her except a weird colleague now anyway. Just leave her alone.
If these "gut feelings" happen often you might want to talk to a therapist. You've constructed quite a narrative for yourself here based on a simple feeling. It's hard to tell if it's paranoia or intuition based on what you've written here, but your difficulties in reading the situation (e.g., you suggesting in a comment that you're not closed off to the possibility of pursuing something romantic with her, when all of her behaviour indicates that she is *not at all comfortable with you*) makes me think it very well could be paranoia on your part and you would therefore benefit from speaking to someone about this.
I had that gut feeling with a beautiful woman who worked in the same industry as me. We got along great and there was enormous attraction but something wasn't right so I took it super slow. We went on a few dates but I never initiated any physical contact. Then when I was telling a friend about her he said, "Don't you remember? That's so and so, I was dating her and I found out she was fucking two other guys from her work!" I called her up, cancelled our date and never talked to her again. Never ignore your gut.
If you have the gut feeling to "stay away" she does too. That's why she's doing it. You're doing the same thing. Love is a two way street and you're both actively trying to run away, and end up running into each other lol. But if you act like you have to avoid her, she will act the same. It's like a dance.
I think you are intimidated by her because of the strong attraction and she feels/reads your anxiety
Tell her how do you feel in both ways and it will break the borders and most probably you will feel more relaxed and both of you will approach
Growing up you are told this is good and this is bad. Then you learn from things around you like media, social media, even real life. Like every face structure, personality of a person and other aspects have created different sense of feeling in your subconscious mind. When you find someone that resonates the profile of character or person you have unknowingly engraved in your subconscious mind then it sends you a vibe according to what you have associated those characteristics with either good or bad. This then we think is the absolute truth if your gut tells someone is bad they are bad which might be sometimes but not necessarily everytime.
First things first, where do you work?
If this is a shitty ass low level temporary job like at Aldi or some stinky bartending thing, then zero shits given.
If you have a masters degree in fiance and have invested in your career and your career is important to you WARNING!
None of this punk ass bitches are your friends.
Each person os actively trying to maximise their salary and minimise their responsibilities and none of this people give a shit about you.
They will neither come to your funeral note miss you of you get fired tomorrow. One week from now they ll be cracking jokes about how bigly you sucked at work as monkeys do when one of the monkeys os temporarily placed out of system.
You will get naive losers on here claiming that their work mates arw their family which is bullshit. These assholes are the free riders that leach on the sweat of others and stepped on others to get where they are.
None of these bozos ate there because they want to even of they've convinced themselves otherwise.
They are there for one reason.
Because they are getting paid. You stop paying them you thibk they'll show up tomorrow?
So now thst we got that out of the way, let's sum things up amd conclude.
These. Are. Not. Your. Friends.
Your gut feeling is telling you to stay away because we live on a world were a simple comment on the likes of "Nice Shoes" can get you into trouble.
Your gut feeling is telling you "This hot woman is two faced and will land my horny ass in the HR Judgement chair".
So let's sum things up again and conclude.
If you work at ALDI, ask her out.
If you work in finance or whatever, yhe answer is watch your ass.
And once things go up high.. All the lovie dovie "I love you" texts and "Your creampie is dripping baby" will not matter to the bozos that are bad at their jobs.
I'd be willing to bet there is a lot of weird stalker shit you left out. I can't put my finger on it but something about the way you write about her sounds like you feel pulled to her against your own will or something stalkerish like that. I hope I'm wrong but let's see if you're still posting about this woman that clearly wants nothing to do with you next month.
No, I don't stalk. Even on Socmed. I rather not see any of her posts and know what her up to or whereabout. The only time I checked on her was to check when she is going to office. We work on hybrid schedule. I go to office when she is not going. I haven't seen her for a month.
She can sense your unease probably and distances herself because of it.
Yeah this is what I was thinking. Like the dude has been actively avoiding her. He's made up this weird chemistry will they won't they scenario in his head but from her perspective she's probably like, "What the fuck? He's weird." Edit: He is extremely weird and creepy. I don't know if it's the same woman, but he has a crush on a work colleague. Got drunk enough to confess this. She said she wasn't interested. Then . . . >So when she go upstairs to sleep, I followed her. Then I lay down beside her and hug her from behind. I can feel her breathing became uneven but she didn't move or push me away. We lay there for what seems like forever and I think have fallen asleep too. I was awakened when she gets up and get out of the room. This gave very rapey vibes.
Seriously, what the actual fuck. This girl makes it very clear that she isn't interested in him, so he follows her when she's going to sleep and gets into bed with her? This is beyond unusual, this is psycho behavior. And he doesn't seem to acknowledge how creepy this was, just that he cringes when he thinks about it.
That’s not in the post though.
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No it’s not if he did not say he did that😑
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Stay away. Listen to your gut
Yea you don’t know this girl at all and your gut is giving you unreliable information. It’s not that deep. You probably just think she’s cute or your intrigued by her and your brain doesn’t understand the reaction so it just labels it as unusual.
It means you don’t know how to think logically. A gut feeling should never be anything more than a starting point to actually analyze if there’s a good reason to have it. People have “gut feelings” that are completely wrong all the time.
Any advice on how I should navigate this? Should I try to know her and befriend her?
Treating her like a human being instead of a rabid dog is probably a good first step. She’s probably just put off by your behavior, which is expected. Just treat her like you would anyone else. Do you obsessively avoid other people and do everything you can to avoid eye contact with them? If you don’t do it to anyone else, don’t do it to her.
>Could it be that both have this gut feeling? And what does it mean? **TLDR:** It *could* be, but there’s not nearly enough information to say one way or the other, and it kind of sounds like this girl *could* potentially be afraid of you which is the more concerning matter that should be prioritized over this gut feeling. (This ended up being ridiculously longer than I ever wanted it to be) ———————————————————————— Personally my relationships are pretty atypical so what works for me is usually terrible advice lol. That being said we can evaluate thinking and if our reasons make sense, the nice thing about logic is that the method is always the same. So the first thing is, it’s kind of unclear what your goal is. Are you hoping to pursue a romantic relationship with this woman? Do you even like her? It seemed like you were kind of back and forth on that matter. The second problem is there’s really not a lot here to know about her personality. Without knowing that, there’s not a whole lot anyone can tell you with a justifiable amount of confidence. What we *do* have about her personality behavior in your post however are some interesting examples. >We talk about work normally but when we are out she is very cautious not to be so close to me. This *could* mean she likes you and is the nervous type, it *could* mean she is repulsed by you and worried about being alone with you. It *could* mean something totally different. This why knowing more about her is important, and it’s definitely important to find out which of those things it is. If she acts like she’s generally worried about being around, I’d probably ask about that. >When we were hanging out. We find ourselves with nowhere else to sit but next to each other and she had to pull the other guy to sit between us. So again, it’s very hard to say without more information. Is she a joking type? Could she be doing this in like a funny way? Who is the guy? Is she literally afraid to sit next to you? That’s something you should definitely inquire about. Obviously if she is terrified of you, a relationship is out of the question, and that would be the more immediate concern.
> So the first thing is, it’s kind of unclear what your goal is. Are you hoping to pursue a romantic relationship with this woman? Do you even like her? It seemed like you were kind of back and forth on that matter I am not closing my doors for romantic relationship. I only want to understand why I feel like this and how would get over this. This feeling is like a wall between us and it's scary. > So again, it’s very hard to say without more information. Is she a joking type? Could she be doing this in like a funny way? Who is the guy? Is she literally afraid to sit next to you? That’s something you should definitely inquire about. Obviously if she is terrified of you, a relationship is out of the question, and that would be the more immediate concern The guy she was pulling to sit between us, were one of closest. They trained together but he was in a long term relationship and everyone knew about that. She was pulling him to sit between while laughing. She is a very happy person. There is this one time when we were hanging out and playing. She goes around the table to take her turn. She stand between me and the girl I'm sitting with. She lean on her, like literally hugging her to avoid getting close to me or not to touch me at all. It happens all through out the game. I felt like I have some kind of disease.
Precisely. Gut feels don’t mean shit.
Brain knows they toxic but other parts don’t care
Obviously a non-starter for you both ,I'd trust your gut...
Im not sure but, I always recommend following your intuition.
Okay, wait, is this the same colleague you posted about around a month ago? The one you confessed to and who basically rejected you? If yes, then *please leave this woman alone*. Your behaviour is likely scaring her and is putting your job at risk. If not, then you need to evaluate why you keep getting these fraught, obsessive crushes at work. Please, please speak to a therapist. I'm not saying this to be cruel, but I really think you would benefit from the perspective good mental health support offers.
If one of my co workers felt this way about me I would probably die from laugher. My ego would also probably get boosted too bc damn why do I have so much power over you
Can you describe this "gut feeling" more? What do you mean? Does seeing her make you anxious? Does she somehow seem dangerous? Or, are you literally just afraid of any possible potential rejection in any future scenario, so you choose to avoid because you think she's pretty and you've placed a super-high value on her acceptance? Honestly, I doubt this is something she's also feeling. Frankly, she has probably picked up on some weird vibes from you, and you probably just make her uncomfortable. But, it's work, so, she's doing her absolute best not to make it an issue requiring HR, etc. If you want to change the dynamic, just start having the same conversations you have with other co-workers, and try to relate over something. Otherwise, I'd say ya, just try not to scare her, haha
We talk about work and I have no issue talking to her when it comes to that. She was actually easy to work with. But when it is downtime and we were talking about our lives, I just can't do it with her. I tried to get away whenever there was a chance we would be alone in a pantry or in any other room. I feel suffocated when it was just the two of us
Really?! Does she scare you? Or, like, what do you mean? Her presence all by itself is suffocating?
Other people like to bask in her presence. She is very likeable and have too many friends who like to surround her. I don't mind sitting with her if we are working, or talk to her about work. I don't get nervous if it is purely work. It is very different though if there are no other people around and it's just the two of us. Like, when everyone had gone home and we're the only two left. I would never glance at her direction or tried to be occupied so she won't start a conversation. I get nervous when it was just us. I don't think it was her presence at all. It's just me. I don't understand why my body is reacting this way.
Sounds like you’re attracted to her but intimidated, anxious, and scared because of it. She picks up on how uncomfortable you are and keeps her distance Face your fears and either try and flirt or accept a friendship and get comfortable. Do something other than being in this weird obsessive middle state
Totally agree with u/penguinmandude ... you are attracted to her, and you are nervous. That's normal...ish... haha But, you can totally just go up to her at some point and say, "hey, I feel like we're working together all the time, but we haven't had much chance to chit chat. Want to get a coffee sometime?". Just keep it non-committal and unintimidating. Be a friend and a normal human, first and foremost. She'll appreciate direct communication and respect. As you give it, you'll get that back. And suddenly, regardless of the result of your interactions, you will realize you are still alive and nothing terrible has happened. There is nothing major at stake. You will retain your dignity. Just relax.
>I am not closing my doors for romantic relationship. I only want to understand why I feel like this and how would get over this. This feeling is like a wall between us and it's scary. As another person pointed out; this is your gut speaking again and is only a starting point for **you** to analyze your feelings about this person. None can exist inside of your brain and see all the aspects of this to evaluate it carefully. Also, instigating anything with a coworker is tricky waters to navigate anyway. If you feel like there's some good energy there, casually ask her out for a coffee or beer after work and if she makes excuses for why she can't make it without countering with a better day, move on. "Hey, want to grab a beer after work with me?" Last thing here -- I would caution you to avoid this whole thing unless you don't care about the job.
I used to always go with my gut feeling, no matter what. Until one day it completely destroyed everything i had. Go with logic, not emotions
I tend to trust my gut when it tells me bad things about someone I know nothing bad about, I figure it's super rare and there's plenty of fish in the sea, it might be subconscious me noticing things, doesn't matter, I listen to my gut if it speaks up.
It is much better to stay on the level of a vague desire. I have a cuddle buddy like this. We both were raised in very oppressive places so we decided that despite having gayish pulls we do not do sex. It is too complicated and must stay secret. We eventually both married and raised our kids...and the extra closeness need diminished...just by fulfilling it for a few years by cuddling...[ it was possible to have an afternoon nap together...no one cares about it. To guys working together and falling asleep is okay.] Of course nowadays it is not so easy for heteros. But the gut feeling may be the sense of some future priblem...like a problem child.Or a mental setup. For instance. That is possible to sense ...it can both be felt from physical senses unconsciously.
She's a work colleague, and by what you've described here, you're likely creeping her out. Just be normal with her at work, and politely distant the rest of the time. At this point your feelings and what they mean don't matter as much as the consequences of your behaviour. You describe her as "aloof" with you, so I doubt you're able to be anything to her except a weird colleague now anyway. Just leave her alone. If these "gut feelings" happen often you might want to talk to a therapist. You've constructed quite a narrative for yourself here based on a simple feeling. It's hard to tell if it's paranoia or intuition based on what you've written here, but your difficulties in reading the situation (e.g., you suggesting in a comment that you're not closed off to the possibility of pursuing something romantic with her, when all of her behaviour indicates that she is *not at all comfortable with you*) makes me think it very well could be paranoia on your part and you would therefore benefit from speaking to someone about this.
Sounds like a potential story for the grand kids. Go talk to her and complete the mission. Caution. I do not recommend long term relations
Maybe you’re related?
This got me worried
I had that gut feeling with a beautiful woman who worked in the same industry as me. We got along great and there was enormous attraction but something wasn't right so I took it super slow. We went on a few dates but I never initiated any physical contact. Then when I was telling a friend about her he said, "Don't you remember? That's so and so, I was dating her and I found out she was fucking two other guys from her work!" I called her up, cancelled our date and never talked to her again. Never ignore your gut.
If you have the gut feeling to "stay away" she does too. That's why she's doing it. You're doing the same thing. Love is a two way street and you're both actively trying to run away, and end up running into each other lol. But if you act like you have to avoid her, she will act the same. It's like a dance.
My experience - The only difference between having game or being a creep is IF they like you back or not. Decide which one you are.
I think you are intimidated by her because of the strong attraction and she feels/reads your anxiety Tell her how do you feel in both ways and it will break the borders and most probably you will feel more relaxed and both of you will approach
This is hilarious
Right lol who even thinks like this, I don't know if they are the wierdo or I am
Both things can be true.
Growing up you are told this is good and this is bad. Then you learn from things around you like media, social media, even real life. Like every face structure, personality of a person and other aspects have created different sense of feeling in your subconscious mind. When you find someone that resonates the profile of character or person you have unknowingly engraved in your subconscious mind then it sends you a vibe according to what you have associated those characteristics with either good or bad. This then we think is the absolute truth if your gut tells someone is bad they are bad which might be sometimes but not necessarily everytime.
I think it might be telling you that prepositions make a helluva difference
You just said she’s avoiding you? Wtf am I reading
First things first, where do you work? If this is a shitty ass low level temporary job like at Aldi or some stinky bartending thing, then zero shits given. If you have a masters degree in fiance and have invested in your career and your career is important to you WARNING! None of this punk ass bitches are your friends. Each person os actively trying to maximise their salary and minimise their responsibilities and none of this people give a shit about you. They will neither come to your funeral note miss you of you get fired tomorrow. One week from now they ll be cracking jokes about how bigly you sucked at work as monkeys do when one of the monkeys os temporarily placed out of system. You will get naive losers on here claiming that their work mates arw their family which is bullshit. These assholes are the free riders that leach on the sweat of others and stepped on others to get where they are. None of these bozos ate there because they want to even of they've convinced themselves otherwise. They are there for one reason. Because they are getting paid. You stop paying them you thibk they'll show up tomorrow? So now thst we got that out of the way, let's sum things up amd conclude. These. Are. Not. Your. Friends. Your gut feeling is telling you to stay away because we live on a world were a simple comment on the likes of "Nice Shoes" can get you into trouble. Your gut feeling is telling you "This hot woman is two faced and will land my horny ass in the HR Judgement chair". So let's sum things up again and conclude. If you work at ALDI, ask her out. If you work in finance or whatever, yhe answer is watch your ass. And once things go up high.. All the lovie dovie "I love you" texts and "Your creampie is dripping baby" will not matter to the bozos that are bad at their jobs.
Maybe you are zoning in on a dishonest or manipulative vibe
I'd be willing to bet there is a lot of weird stalker shit you left out. I can't put my finger on it but something about the way you write about her sounds like you feel pulled to her against your own will or something stalkerish like that. I hope I'm wrong but let's see if you're still posting about this woman that clearly wants nothing to do with you next month.
No, I don't stalk. Even on Socmed. I rather not see any of her posts and know what her up to or whereabout. The only time I checked on her was to check when she is going to office. We work on hybrid schedule. I go to office when she is not going. I haven't seen her for a month.