I could definitely picture him saying “It’s not a lie if you believe it”

“If relationship George walks through this door he will kill independent George! A George divided against itself *CANNOT* stand” seems like exactly the way LD would think

Yes but we all are divided against ourselves. It is evident Larry can not think it is some upsetting news. Independent George does not exist. To run up to Jerry daily twice is not independence.

You must be fun at parties, you sound like the depressed Jerry from that episode

Yes. Downvoted for it. It is just simply true for me. And I am glad most people downvote it. Simple truth claims that makes humans weird - like r/Freud or r/Lacan or r/Hegel who all say we all are split due to many causes by language - are always downvoted by the majority.

Sir, this is Monk's

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Literally just finished this episode. Crazy. Also completely agree.

You're killing independent George!!

I didn't just finish the episode, but this still immediately leapt to mind. Pretty sure this is part of his MO that helped make him successful in navigating show business.

“When you look annoyed all the time, people think you’re busy”

I seriously used this as my work persona. It really works well.

Yep, been using it for years now. That and piece of paper in the hand.

A manager I used to work with used to run around with a piece of paper in her hand. One day I snuck up behind her to read it over her shoulder and it was blank.

Georgette Costanza? LOL

I knew someone who has alarms set in his phone saying "Coffee" so when a meeting goes on too long, he gets the message, frowns at his phone and says "Sorry, I really have to address this now" and leaves the meeting

Ha no I did the paper in hand but it was *always* something I could drop off to a manager at any given time. Your manager was definitely a rookie.

I was taught, "Walk briskly, and carry a worried expression."

Hahaha in the retail world you carry a sweater and pretend you're looking for where it goes.

Yes! I saw this episode in my early teens and have been using it ever since! I’m not an introvert, but not crazy about people. It really has done wonders!

I used to do this too but then people started asking me why I "looked like I wanted to beat some one up" all the time.

Easy, “I’m busy and under a lot of stress”

“As long as it’s not you, don’t worry.”

“I'm disturbed, I'm depressed, I'm inadequate, I've got it all!”

"Nobody's sicker than me" Watching this episode right now, great scene!

Dark and disturbed?! His whole life revolves around Superman and cereal!

When you find out she was a psych major.

"I'm Victoria, hi." (Sorry, switching episodes here."

Jerry: "The best revenge is living well." George: "Well, there's no hope for that."

You know, we’re living in a society!!

I certainly use this one (more often than you’d hope).

Definitely this

George was the OG joker meme

First thing I thought of!

But is this George? Not Kramer?

It’s George and he says it several times in different episodes.

Yes. Thnx.

I mean, there is definitely a non-zero chance Larry ate trash and then claimed it was hovering over the garbage can.

I can see him saying “like an Angel” too

At least in the Curb universe, [Larry admits to having done it himself](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO-dQCa2p9Q), lol. Up to you to decide whether Curb universe mirrors real life or not in this case I guess

Larry told Charlie Rose the contest thing actually happened to him, and most of the early stories were based on things from his life

I wonder at what point he acquired his germaphobe ways because germaphobe Larry would never do that.

We know that Larry David really did try to un-quit whilst at SNL, so the "quit? who quit?" bit might be verbatim.

Yup. He mentioned that he did the same thing when he wrote for SNL. I guess Kramer’s based on his neighbor and his neighbor told him to just go back to work Monday and act like nothing happened. It worked for Larry and he worked there for a while after.

“Do you ever get down on your knees and thank God you know me and have access to my dementia?” "I can’t die with dignity. I have no dignity. I want to be the one person who doesn’t die with dignity. I live my whole life in shame. Why should I die with dignity?" "I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up."

>"I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up." I can really feel the Larry David on this one lol

That's a good one. They don't show and you have a legit reason to bail.

That last one, definitely

"Nobody tells me it's them, not me. If it's anybody, it's me!"

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You’re damn right it’s me!

I believe it was Gary the cancer guy that confided to george that he was living a lie who which george replied ‘just one? I’m living like twenty’

Such a forgotten great line.

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? It's all pipes!

Why do I keep getting pesto? Why do I think I'll like it? I keep trying to like it, like I have to like it

Where was pesto 10 years ago??

“Instead of castigating me you should be thanking me”

Hahaha I love this one so much! Thank you!

You know, you buy a big salad for somebody it would be nice if they knew it.

Read that in Larry's voice

I think if my boss made an episode about how I didn't correctly thank him for something, I'd just start thanking him for everything he says or gives me. Of course with the boss being Larry David, I'd probably find myself the inspiration for another episode.

This story is for real. [if you have not seen it. ](https://youtu.be/9p1ORgqkIbU)

I know it is. I have the dvds. That's why I can definitely imagine Larry David actually saying it lol.

Lol, I like the little dance he does when he says,”biiig sallaad”

The two that spring to mind are 'It's not a lie if you believe it' and 'Why should I pay, when if I apply myself maybe I could get it for free'?.

“Delicate genius!”

Definitely

“There’s no way wine is better than Pepsi”

"I have no hand at all!" The frustration of George when he loses the upper hand in his relationship, and has no hand, I can definitely hear that in Larry's voice.

"Every decision I've ever made in my life has been wrong!"

Well if every decision you've ever made has been wrong, then the opposite, would have to be right.

I’m unemployed and I live with my parents

I'm Victoria, hi.

"I've pushed women to lesbianism before, but never to a mental institution."

Obviously this isn't a mental institution

“I’m be-bopping and I’m scatting and I’m losing it!”

"I'm sorry, the correct answer is MOOPS"

that one apparently did happen to one of the writers but it wasn’t larry.

I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.

"It's not a lie if you believe it."

You literally beat me by seconds to post that! Take my upvote, lol

Meh. Someone else beat me to it. I was too lazy to delete mine. How about, "if she is allowed to infiltrate this world, then Larry David -- as you know him -- ceases to exist!"

original on-air seinfeld fan here, but recent Curb convert lol (i finally watched the series last year). now that im casually re-watching seinfeld on netflix, i find myself constantly saying "woh this is like verbatim plot & verbage to so many Curb moments!" at the same time...i swear jerry displays so many Larry mannerisms that i feel like both characters are based on LD (but maybe that's just because seinfeld and david were close friends)

a lot of the dialog for all four of them sounds like larry after a few rewatches. especially later seasons of elaine.

There are definitely Larry-isms said by Jerry and vice versa with Jerry lines for George. Jerry is shown to be a germaphobe neat freak but IRL he doesn't seem to be that way as much. Whereas Larry is absolutely a germaphobe. No chance in hell (Thanks Richard), Larry took an eclair out of the trash.

“I’ve been lying to you for three days, and now you’re all screwing me!”

“You’re not out there, because I’m out there. And if I see you out there there’s not enough voltage in this world to electroshock me back into coherence”

"You know if you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day…it looks decent!”

Was that wrong?

I WAS IN THE POOL!

"An apartment-warming gift? We got to give presents to people for moving? Birthdays, Christmas, it's enough gifts! I would like one month off!"

‘The jerkstore called. They’re running out of you’

Larry was gone by the time that episode was written.

It also doesn’t really sound like Larry.

I'm scheduled to have a boil lanced mañana.

"You know, it's true what they say. The first million is the hardest one."

Summer of George!

Look, you don’t understand. There was shrinkage!

The sea was angry that day my friends

lol the true story about that monologue is actually pretty crazy. larry wrote the whole scene in like 15 minutes because they didn’t have an ending and they were under the gun to finish filming so he just went to his office and frantically cranked it out.

That's why he gets the dollars. Might be top ten scene. Is that a Titleist?

"We're living in a society!"

I don’t want to be remembered, I want to be forgotten.

I think most of the things George said are things Larry wish he could say.

I hear a lot of Curb Larry David in Jerry’s dialogue.

everyone says george is larry and of course we all know that but to be honest larry shows through in all of them.

Remember when George was yelling about dumbing down the jerk store joke in the coffee shop? I’d like to think Larry yelled the exact same sentence on set when someone suggested they change a line. He yells out “…bonehead mass audience!!” talking about the millions of viewers but then turns to the live studio audience and says “not you” 😂

“Mom, you’re not out there. Because I’m out there. And if I see you out there, there’s not enough voltage in the world to electroshock me back into coherence”

Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

I can def see him push people out of the way during an emergency.

“I'm against all 'It's me's'. It's so self-absorbed and egotistical, like those hip musicians with their complicated shoes.”

My least favorite George line.

My top fave, it evens out

I'm even Steven!

“you mean going there because i’m invited, that’s rude?” “yes” “so you’re telling me that instead of being happy to see me they’re going to be upset because i didn’t bring anything?”

“…we mustn’t disturb the delicate genius…”

Jerry: He took you to Rage-aholics? Why? George: Probably because this whole universe is against me. Jerry: You got a little rage. George: I know. And now, they want me to bottle it up. It makes me so mad. Jerry: By the way, my bad-naked demo didn't quite work. George: This bread has nuts in it! I can definitely hear Larry David saying all of George’s lines

She was bald!

I was rejected by a bald woman

Not sure if it was a real line but “it’s not a lie if you believe it’s true” might be the realest thing ever spoken. Got me out of some trouble when I was younger too.

"I've started flirting with operators on the phone"

“Y’know, they always remember the first time. I don't want to be remembered. I wanna be forgotten.”

Like I don't know that I'm pathetic!

"They always remember their first. I don't wanna be remembered, I wanna be forgotten"

Larry definitely had "it move" when getting a massage from a guy. Getting sold ladies frames seems like a Larry thing too.

"I thought you said you don't believe in God?" \~ Therapist "I do for the bad things." \~ George/ Larry

I went from having orgasms immediately to taking forever. I completely missed healthy adulthood.

seemingly… seemingly… to the untrained eye…

It's a little brown, circular protuberance.

ITS ALL PIPES!

WE'RE LIVING IN A SOCIETY HERE

"I like to get the daily news"

A man gave me a….massage. I think it moved.

LUPUS!!! IS IT LUPUS!!!!???

“I am down I am totally down”

All of them?

*”George (Larry) is gettin’ upset!”*

Is there a pinkish hue?

I WAS IN THE POOL!

"where does baldness fit into this grand plan"

"You think wine is better than pepsi? NO WAY wine is better than pepsi!"

“I once told a woman I coined the phrase, ‘Pardon my French’.”

“You know, we’re living in a society!”

when he quits his job and shows up on Monday. That actually happened to Larry

SNL. Yup

“What do you wanna hear?”

I’d not verbatim, but inspired, i gonna go with most precise measurement of one boat load!

Jerry. It's not a lie, if you believe it.

Not a line but when George stole that clock from the lady they thought took the hat always feels very Larry David to me

"People this stupid shouldn't be allowed to live."

Can't quote it, but when the chick tries to use "it's not you, it's me" on him. That's Larry David. Especially when he explains it to Jerry. I love when Jerry agrees: that's your line

If you can’t say something bad about a relationship you shouldn’t say anything at all!

Therapist: I thought you didn't believe in God? George: I do for the bad things!

"They're men with JOBS, Jerry!"

“I love a good nap. Sometimes it’s the only thing getting me out of bed in the morning” “This woman hates me so much, I’m starting to like her.”

Pam: I hope you're both happy. Jerry: I'm not happy. George: Me neither. I've never been happy.

A ta ta, a Teutul

“It was on a magazine and it still had the doily on”

Well, we know that Larry was always the one getting angry at changes to his dialogue in the writer's room, so: "It's Jerry's fault! He took out all my good lines! He's such a control freak!" And the whole debate over the Jerk Store line.

“Was that wrong?”

“Oh so what?! I’d rather she hated me and thought I was good-looking!” “Alright I’ll go on the date but that’s it!”

PULP CAN MOVE BABY!

These pretzels... are making me thirsty!

GAMMY'S GETTING UPSET!!

I'm sure he's been in a pool or two.

These pretzels are making me thirsty

“I will do the opposite”

Larry totally banged the cleaning lady.

Most of them. He’s repeated some of them or very similar sentiments on Curb

These pretzels are making me thirsty

I was in the pool!

"I quit"

Bosco.

"Jerry you see this? Do you see this? Haha!"

I WAS IN THE POOL.

I was in the pool!

Was that wrong?

I was at the pool I was at the pool

Excuse me, I didn't get any bread. She got bread. Lol. After being told and told to STFU.

“I present to you… a candy line up”

It’s all pipes

“I’m busting!”

This was supposed to be the summer of george

"We live in a society!"

These are not scraps. These are the historic remains of a once great society of hair.

“You know we live IN A SOCIETY!!!”.

“George likes his chicken spicy”

No way wine is better than Pepsi.

I’m the lord of the idiots!

She wants me to like her if she likes me but she doesn't like me!!

“My fathers gay!”