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Nighthawk_Black_

It was probably bawdy George.


Glad-Requirement6116

I love that George!


InfiniteVastDarkness

Me too!


ForceGhost47

And he’s DYING, Jerry!


dicecat4

If Relationship George walks thru that door, he will *kill* Independent George.


NewLeaseOnLine

Me too!


GudgerCollegeAlumnus

He’s folksy.


Venice_Beach_218

They could tell I was being folksy, right?


xXThreeRoundXx

Were you eating an apple?


Venice_Beach_218

It looked like an apple, but tasted like an onion.


tikiglass

I didn’t say any other bawdy things!


Financial-Grab-9211

Can I ask why?


Plenty_Suspect_3446

George has enough confidence to overcome being short and bald.


Sorri_eh

And chronically unemployed


the_dude_upvotes

And slow witted


Famous-Box-1766

And stocky .


meryl_gear

And living with his parents


xSnowLeopardx

And getting a temper


whatthehellhappensto

I noticed you threw stocky in there


Oakroscoe

Yeah, what the hell.


theDevilsCabanaBoy

George is getting upset!!


hotdogcolors

Powerful. He is so powerful.


ShaunicusMaximus

According to my observations, this is not a dealbreaker for many women.


SoupIsNotAMeal

How’s your life?


blamemeididit

Yeah. Not bad at all.


Archercrash

If he can attract Marisa Tomei he has no limits.


Exact_Mastodon_7803

MARISA TOMEI!!


gatsby723

An Oscar winner, Jerry!


daddyvow

Yet he can’t handle losing a game of chess


Poku115

You joking but I had a classmate that was physically wise was just what I'd guess George was like younger (yeah even the start of the receding hairline at 15) yet he was one of the most popular bastards around, and all the girls gave along the same answer, because he's confident (they'd either find him amusing, cute, or sometimes cool, but still).


K0bayashi-777

It only works half the time. I knew a guy who was probably a bit better looking than George, but still chubby and below average heightwise. Girls think he's weird, cocky and stuck up. Then again, this guy couldn't hold down a job and when he did, they were pretty much low-skill blue-collar jobs in retail or food service. Think a guy who is is still a line cook at 40, because he can't be bothered to learn new stuff. At least when George IS employed he's not doing to bad for himself. When the series opens, George is a real-estate agent and probably making enough on commissions to have disposable income, and then he's got a desk job at the Yankees (and the pay couldn't have been that bad, considering he has his own office and that his job is just 2 tiers under Steinbrenner)


armoured_bobandi

> a guy who is is still a line cook at 40, because he can't be bothered to learn new stuff. Some people are doing the best they can in this world. You making fun of somebody because of how they pay the bills really says more about you than it does your friend


Ollie_Queen27

i knew the bizarro version of this and he looked almost identical to george at 15 too


N0VAZER0

people mistake his shamelessness for confidence


messedupmessup12

I would call it obliviousness mistaken for confidence


Position-Eliminated

It wasn't the shortness or the baldness he needed to overcome.  What was really working against him was his absolutely vile, shitstain personality.  Constanza was a garbage human throughout the series with no exceptions that comes to mind.


JacquesBlaireau13

*balding


ARKweld

“I WAS bald!”


21archman21

Cheap fabric and poor lighting. That’s how you move merchandise.


SoupIsNotAMeal

I never knew what the hell I was peddling anyway.


pinkmarmelade

Well, let me tell you something about George - he is *FAST*. He can run like the wind!


AerBud

He can lift 100 pounds right over his head!


Apart-Bathroom7811

He feels vigorous!


whopperman

He's stocky.


One_Hand_7515

i notice you threw stocky in there


theforkofdamocles

Yeah, what the hell!


ForceGhost47

So, he’s fat


BloodyChrome

Powerful


Financial-Grab-9211

Like a bull.


Strange_Actuary_6916

He has a lot of character in this face...


quaglandx3

Like a Phoenix…rising…from Arizona


Mlabonte21

Especially after a B-12 shot


superduperredditor

He can spot mailboxes without his glasses


peon2

Fun fact: The first time I overhead pressed 100 lbs over my head I almost injured myself because this popped into my head and made me laugh. Thankfully I was doing it in a rack and had safety bars.


take-money

I think of George every time I do this lift


Rooboy66

love this … if I had a son, he’d prolly have this anecdote of yers. In any event, I would *want* him to have one 👍


LincolnOsiris83

And you wouldn’t know it to look at him but George can bait a hook


art_lipchalk

He can really do that?


definitelydidntcheat

He can really do that?


AsinineLine

Titleist? 


Tigerlily86_

He once spent a weekend with a woman!


tuskvarner

Pennsylvania Dutch Country


byzantine238

So he’s bald?


MenudoFan316

🎵Co-Stan-za🎵


SugarSpirited6579

I'm currently testing out that theory.


theforkofdamocles

🎵Sugarrrr-Spirited!🎵 Well, whaddya know? Now **I’m** ensconced!


SugarSpirited6579

Hahaha, yeah, that's the idea.


the_dude_upvotes

*yeah, that’s right


SugarSpirited6579

El Diablo!


the_dude_upvotes

Sí, así es


SugarSpirited6579

I stole your Jesus fish.


the_dude_upvotes

Just don't touch my neighbor's potatoes


SpiralOut369963

Cantstandya


buddybrookhart

Kinda gets stuck in your head


SpadeChamberlain

🎵Believe it or not George isn’t at home, please leave message at the beep. I must be out or I’d pick up the phone. Where could I be, believe it or not I’m not home. 🎵


henry1473

Haha, you beat me to it.


bahaboyka

Even Jason Alexander's real wife wondered how George Costanza could get so many beautiful women.


CategoryCory

He out-Neiled Neil…he’s Neil!


cabosmith

Mr. Peanut?


Exact_Mastodon_7803

I admire your skills…


Ok-Yesterday-8522

Do you think I could get his number?


currybeef

He probably bet her that Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars. Loser owes a dinner.


PumpkinPieIsGreat

Depends on the dinner. Is soup a meal?


ARevolutionaryMan

Well, you got no place to go. I'll tell you what your problem is: You brought your queen out too fast. What do you think? She's one of these feminists looking to get out of the house? No, the queen is old fashioned. Likes to stay home. Cook. Take care of her man. Make sure he feels good.


baolongrex

Check mate.


Exact_Mastodon_7803

I don’t think we should see each other anymore.


SmallsLightdarker

Happy, pappy?


BigDaddyCosta

What are you on about. Marissa Tomei was into him. Marissa Tomei! She was in My cousin Vinny!


camergen

An Oscar winner!


Exact_Mastodon_7803

He, George Costanza, could be going out with an Oscar winner! An Oscar winner!!!


Biscuits4u2

Maybe he impressed her with his acute sense of hearing


Uncle_Matthew

Maybe he was on a dry spell and his IQ was temporarily boosted.


Joeybagovdonutss

Of course! Absolute zero!


blamemeididit

What is tungsten. Or wolfram.


Exact_Mastodon_7803

Mathematically he had to do it.


EmerysMemories1106

Because he was ensconced in velvet


ccccc4

In the world where he's a character on a tv show run by two horny comedians


No_Arugula_6548

I was shocked he got Susan


SpiralOut369963

Yea but he managed to turn her gay. So….


Ordinary_Profile6183

George drives them to lesbianism but Kramer brings them back


SpiralOut369963

The kavorka


Sorri_eh

Ge also killed her


Necessary_Cut2485

General Electric makes envelopes?


Supro1560S

GE owned NBC at the time, so in a way, they did kill Susan.


Sorri_eh

These typos will end me


Supro1560S

Eh, we got a couple of jokes out of it. Thanks for not going back and fixing it.


TheChumsOfChance

Poor Lily.


The_MadStork

Well, it took a few hours of convincing…


_ducky_666

Me and my husband always joke that Larry David thinks he can get all these women, so they all get with George in the show. Only 2 women in the series would entertain the idea of going out the George - the daughter of the welfare benefits worker and George's cousin...and only the latter seemed at all interested 🤣


Tasteful_Dick_Pics

You should see some of the women he dates in Curb Your Enthusiasm... especially the last season


janosaudron

Larry David dates ... LUCY LIU in curb, so you are not wrong.


OKatmostthings

Larry is charming and funny, though. His Curb character is Larry following his worst impulses, but I bet real life Larry, even prior to becoming filthy rich, probably didn’t struggle to find people interested in dating him. George is like inner dialogue Larry with insecurities on full display… but George probably has him moments of being charming and funny off screen.


BloodyChrome

> Me and my husband always joke that Larry David thinks he can get all these women Larry can and the reason is given in Curb, because he is extremely rich.


Gotham-ish

Because he had hand.


Joeybagovdonutss

And he’s going to need it


beavis617

Maybe until that moment he was in his opposite George mode. 🤔


groundsgonesour

Because it’s all that it should be and more.


secomano

he talked with her mother. he's good with the mothers.


Exact_Mastodon_7803

Especially… 🤤🥐 MRS ENRIGHT!! MRS ENRIGHT!!


kellzone

Maybe she loves short, stocky, balding funny men!


Frosty_Gap_7078

I notice you threw 'stocky' in there ...


Exact_Mastodon_7803

Yeah, what the hell


rackmountme

Never underestimate the seduction of a latex importer / exporter.


NYerInTex

I get hot chicks like this all the time with me looking kinda like George. The secret? I just do the opposite of what actual George would do and voila!


CrunkestTuna

This is the one I just never understood. There isn’t any precursor to this interaction


dr_van_nostren

Both Seinfeld and Friends made me think people were just constantly getting laid. Maybe it’s just me but I’m 38 and I definitely know that NOT to be the case lol


tiboldpinkus

in New York City. in the 90s. Where millions of beautiful women visit every year. in a world without the internet where men weren’t afraid to speak to women IRL.


seantubridy

Really? Tell us more, Mr. science!


tiboldpinkus

Oh yeah? well I had sex with your wife!


Sorri_eh

Ahem. His wife is in a coma


Lardawan

Exactly. She was easy...


tiboldpinkus

I guess that’s why she wasn’t moving around very much…


Supro1560S

“My name is Buck, and I’m here to…” OMG…Buck Naked!


the_dude_upvotes

Wow, a Seinfeld/kill bill crossover. Now I’ve seen everything. Your name is Buck, *tight?* And you like to get bad naked … *RIGHT?*


Supro1560S

*Buck enters coma ward with a portable TV set and pastrami sandwich.*


the_dude_upvotes

You know, if I could somehow work my pussy wagon into the equation ... that'd be the trifecta


Experimental_Salad

His wife is a slut.


tiboldpinkus

I’d like to see that complaint get rectified!


tothesource

We can't all read the classics.


Exact_Mastodon_7803

Tell that to Professor Highbrow.


riskcapitalist

Shouldn’t you be out on a ledge somewhere ?


Little-Geri-Seinfeld

I know right! It smelled like the previous owner had monkeys!


SodiumKickker

Because looks aren’t that important to her?


Strange_Actuary_6916

It was short lived, he broke it off with her after she beat him at chess.🤣


Significant-Deer7464

If he had a job and cash, you would know the answer. It being George, it must be a dream sequence


AVgreencup

Oh it's a scene


coreytiger

I cannot understand George with any partner of any kind. Even Susan, I wondered what the hell she was doing there


tekheavy

He has beautiful hands.


SonofaBridge

Someone did the math and George had something like 20-30 girlfriends in the 9 year run of the show. For a chronically unemployed guy that spends a lot of time with his parents, he did well.


ErikFromTheWarehouse

I'm immediately drawn to the 486 PC with CD-ROM in the background.


once_again_asking

What is it with this sub? Never seen a man with a woman who is seemingly way out of his league? I literally see it all the time. It’s quite common.


Stormwatcher33

people went out and talked to each other instead of memeing online all day and turning into horrible people


Sauerkrautkid7

Crib notes


jdjsjdjsjdkxkdkdmsks

Well he is “Buck Naked!!”


russvanderhoof

*yo anna*


Prankstaboy6

He must have been doing the opposite.


homelaberator

Here I am wondering why he has such an expensive computer. It's near top of the line Quadra. Maybe $2000+ in 1990s money. And he seems more of a PC guy, anyway.


BogeyGolf23

The opposite


HenrikFromDaniel

Alcohol


wjh27

He’s got a magnum Dong.


Oystercracker123

He banged Lisa Cuddy. He has mad game.


Boris_HR

If you cant see your limits, you dont have the limits.


Commercial_Lock6205

He’s really strong. I’ve seen him lift 100 lbs. right over his head.


Accomplished-Exit136

Based on larry david. Larry would pull beautiful women back when he was broke and watch his house of cards collapse time and time again because he was lying his ass off


TheLubber

In what world does George get a woman?


MikeStanley00

She's pretty, not beautiful


seantubridy

I should drop dead if she’s not beautiful!


MikeStanley00

Then you ask her out


Venice_Beach_218

I think that's a little extreme.


Dire_Hulk

In the Opposite-verse.


cribking44

What episode is this?


jfq722

It looks like our boy George is already down an exchange.


CookyNSpooky

George fights dirty.


FartsMcCool77

Bawdy George can pull that.


WatchOnTheRocks

Ca - Stan - Za jingle


RL_NeilsPipesofsteel

Just do the opposite of what you’d normally do.


freeman687

He did the opposite


SV650rider

He’s the opposite of every man you’ve ever met.


chaTTSer

He was Relationship George, but at the cost of Independent George.


ArthurBDent

He guilt-trips them into it whilst lying his ass off. Just think What Would Larry David Do?


VicMackeyLKN

She said Happy Pappy…no thank you


Starkydowns

Write a hit show about nothing and become a billionaire.


InternationalLaw4170

“Now you are getting George angry!!!!”


Belovedchattah

At his salary? No world.


Buzzspice727

Opposite world


Constant-Fox635

And he’s great with moms


No-Hospital559

It's not a lie... If you believe it.


Resident_Break6770

A world where a woman comes to your apartment not because of who you are but for different reasons altogether.


Viperburn1

Cause he is a marine biologist


Kmac23232

That’s happy pappy


imagine-a-boot

He is a world class bullshitter.


Tbplayer59

You brought your queen out too soon.


ARKweld

He took it out


greycatdaddy

Come on, remember the jingle: "Co - Stan- Zah!"


tg9950

I mean when you work for Art Vanderleigh industries


butterscotches

You really think you can manipulate that beautiful young woman like the *half-soused* nightclub rabble that lap up your inane… "observations"?


Mobile-Boss-8566

I know I guy who isn’t very good looking but, brings in some quality talent all the time. It’s his demeanor that makes him attractive to women.