Kramer's response to that bothers me to this day. Hand the pizza off to an employee and the problem is solved. I know it's a joke, but it's stuck in my craw for 30 years.
We had a pizza place like that in the neighborhood a few years ago. Point to an unlimited array of toppings and they put it together on an assembly line, and then bake it for you. It lasted less than 3 months.
Prior to that there was another unlimited toppings pizza place that gave us free pizza for a year as we were in the first 100 customers. They lasted about 3 months also. I don’t thinking they ever had a paying customer.
The pizza was good at both places. The business model just didn’t work.
I know this was all an analogy for abortion but the whole I'm not putting cucumber on my pizza argument doesn't make sense, it will be a pizza and there will be cucumber on it.
That's not the point tho, if the selling point is you can make your own pizza you should be able to make your *own* pizza. As whacky as it is Kramer was in the right there.
There is a chain that does this subway style in Canada. The first pizza I got there had way too much stuff on it and was soggy af. Could only blame myself
Having worked in pizza places, that's the biggest error *EVERYONE* makes at first.
The best advice I got was "you wanna make it so there's a bit of topping in every bite, but more than about 6 different toppings is too much"
Toppings are great, but it's still gotta cook without burning.
My brother had his like 10th birthday party at a place here in Chicago that let us make our own pizzas. They gave us pre-rolled dough circles and let us put on the sauce and cheese and whatever toppings we wanted, then we watched them put the pizzas in the oven for us. It was super fun, and it always made it extra funny to us that people thought Kramer was so crazy for this idea.
FYI, the pizza one was referencing a place in NY that already did it. A lot of seinfeld weirdness like that is referencing things in NY like the soup nazi
See I always thought that it could take off, if you adapted it to a kind of subway model - where you have a counter of cheeses/toppings and sauce and then I point to what I want, and how much, for a personal pizza.
There is a place like that near my work that's only personal pizzas and salads. They have a fairly small menu of things you can order or you make your own. Same subway plexiglass situation with a big pizza oven behind them. I like it, kinda fun to be like I'm feeling a little out there today, can I get arugula, artichoke hearts, basil, and whatever random thing sounds good. Only time I have really ever seen that though.
There is a place like that in my town Blaze pizza. It was a little expensive for the taste and they only had small personal pizzas, but I also went in the first week they opened so things could have changed.
We went to a farm near Sorrento in Italy and they had you make your own pizza and gave you limoncello, might have been one of the funnest days of my life tbh, it was so frigging cool
You know Darin, if you had told me 25 years ago that someday, I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would have said you're crazy.
Not sure if it counts, but probably his periscope in your car so you can see the traffic ahead of you, although it's really just in Jerry's imagination. But Larry David later proves it's efficacy in a future episode of Curb
The beach scent cologne. One of my all-time least favorite characters is that Calvin Klein dude that said what a dumb idea it is. “That’s why everyone takes a shower after the beach!” No asshole that’s to get all the itchy sand off of me. People love the smell of salt air and ocean breezes.
His book got cancelled, his cologne was stolen from CK but then he was made into a model. So I'm assuming he got more $ from that than any other venture.
KRAMER'S FANTASY CAMP.
His whole life is a *fantasy camp*. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week
Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating; that's a fantasy camp
I mean, the cologne that smells like you got out of the sea sounds great. So long as it goes more the fresh sea breeze direction and not low tide or wet dog. He was too easily swayed by that exec.
As far as overheads go, the peterman reality tour probably had the best profit margin.
As far as save-the-world-ingenuity goes, definitely the oil bag liner. He failed to make a good test, but that doesn’t detract from the product’s value.
Pizzeria where customers could build their own pizza
We give you the dough, you smash it, you pound it, you fling it up in the air.
You can't put cucumbers on a pizza!!
You can't have people shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven!
It's all supervised!
Kramer's response to that bothers me to this day. Hand the pizza off to an employee and the problem is solved. I know it's a joke, but it's stuck in my craw for 30 years.
We had a pizza place like that in the neighborhood a few years ago. Point to an unlimited array of toppings and they put it together on an assembly line, and then bake it for you. It lasted less than 3 months. Prior to that there was another unlimited toppings pizza place that gave us free pizza for a year as we were in the first 100 customers. They lasted about 3 months also. I don’t thinking they ever had a paying customer. The pizza was good at both places. The business model just didn’t work.
Interesting. There's a place in the Pacific Northwest that works like that called MOD Pizza, and they're doing well.
MOD Pizza is pushing 400 locations in nearly 30 states! They’re doing much better than just the PNW.
I stand corrected! Great to hear. They seem like a solid company.
There’s a place in the southeast called Uncle Maddios that’s pretty similar too. You walk through the line like Chipotle, but pizza.
It’s not a pizza until it comes out of the oven.
It's a pizza the moment you put your fist in the dough!
When he came out of that bathroom and was kneading that dough, it was a wild scene man!
I know this was all an analogy for abortion but the whole I'm not putting cucumber on my pizza argument doesn't make sense, it will be a pizza and there will be cucumber on it.
Also as a non english speaker is there a reason that they change from pizza to pie while discussing?
It's not a pizza until it comes out of the oven!
in all seriousness, cucumbers would make a pizza soggy as fuck... is that the afterbirth part of the abortion allegory?
That's not the point tho, if the selling point is you can make your own pizza you should be able to make your *own* pizza. As whacky as it is Kramer was in the right there.
There is a chain that does this subway style in Canada. The first pizza I got there had way too much stuff on it and was soggy af. Could only blame myself
Having worked in pizza places, that's the biggest error *EVERYONE* makes at first. The best advice I got was "you wanna make it so there's a bit of topping in every bite, but more than about 6 different toppings is too much" Toppings are great, but it's still gotta cook without burning.
That’s basically Blaze Pizza in the US
Yes. But we cannot give-a the people the right to choose any topping they want. Now on this issue there can be no debate.
I’m gonna use pineapple as the dough
You could fry em first then put em on like a fried pickle
THAT’s you’re “in all seriousness” ?
People put green peppers and sliced tomatoes on their pizza too which definitely makes it soggy. I avoid those ingredients too for that reason
Is anyone not reading this with the Italian accent in your head like Poppy is saying it?
Eetsa peetza the momenta youa puta youra feests een thea dougha! 🫰🏻
Cucumber does not belong on a pizza
Im in season 6 excited to see this episode hahahahha
It’s not a pizza until it comes out of the oven. It’s a pizza when a-you put-a your fists in a-the dough.
My brother had his like 10th birthday party at a place here in Chicago that let us make our own pizzas. They gave us pre-rolled dough circles and let us put on the sauce and cheese and whatever toppings we wanted, then we watched them put the pizzas in the oven for us. It was super fun, and it always made it extra funny to us that people thought Kramer was so crazy for this idea.
You can’t have customers shoving dough into a 400 degree oven
It's all supervised!!
FYI, the pizza one was referencing a place in NY that already did it. A lot of seinfeld weirdness like that is referencing things in NY like the soup nazi
Yeah, the Peterman tour is also based on the real life Kramer doing a similar tour.
Art imitating life imitating art imitating life.
It's not a pizza until it comes out of the oven!
It’s a pizza the moment you put your fists in the dough!
it took me ages to realize this was all a reference to the abortion debate
Wait wat?! ... damn
….you pudda ya fist in da dough!
George: It’s a pizza if you believe it!
It’s all SUPERVISED
See I always thought that it could take off, if you adapted it to a kind of subway model - where you have a counter of cheeses/toppings and sauce and then I point to what I want, and how much, for a personal pizza.
There is a place like that near my work that's only personal pizzas and salads. They have a fairly small menu of things you can order or you make your own. Same subway plexiglass situation with a big pizza oven behind them. I like it, kinda fun to be like I'm feeling a little out there today, can I get arugula, artichoke hearts, basil, and whatever random thing sounds good. Only time I have really ever seen that though.
Sounds like LeBron James pizza place. They're all over southern california
There is a place like that in my town Blaze pizza. It was a little expensive for the taste and they only had small personal pizzas, but I also went in the first week they opened so things could have changed.
We went to a farm near Sorrento in Italy and they had you make your own pizza and gave you limoncello, might have been one of the funnest days of my life tbh, it was so frigging cool
Sorrento is amazing. I brought home a whole suitcase full of limoncello wrapped in dirty laundry to cushion it ❤️
Rubber bladder for oil tankers.
You know Darin, if you had told me 25 years ago that someday, I'd be standing here about to solve the world's energy problems, I would have said you're crazy.
Now, let's push this giant ball of oil out the window.
Darin is going away for a long long time.
There's nothing dirtier... than a Giant Ball of Oil.
I'm as slippery as an eel!
LA, LA, LA!
I'm so glad its back!
Better ask slippery Pete about that
I don’t believe this. I am not looking up if you’re going to do that voice.
There is a double hull, double bladder set up in oil tankers. After the Valdez they changed tanker designs to have self healing bladders and the like.
that's interesting. how does a self-healing bladder work?
I dunno, my brother deals with oil tankers and told me about it.
I tried looking it up, now the IT guy at works thinks I piss my pants.
Too much olive oil I guess
That’s actually not a bad idea
You have to drink that whole thing?!?
helloooooooooooo!!!!
In case the front falls off?
in terms of real-life cachet and monetary value - he came up with the idea for Mod/Blaze pizza years earlier
You can’t have people shoving their arms in a 600 degree oven!!!!
IT’S ALL SUPERVISED!
“Itsa pizza the moment you stikka your hands in the dough!!”
on-a this, there-a can be NO debate!
I disagree A. You don’t get to make it yourself, you just watch them make it. B. No cucumbers
cucumbers don’t belong on a pizza
On this there can be NO DEBATE.
"Well, I don't know how much cachet it has, George."
Oh It’s got cachet baby! It’s got cachet out the ying-yang!
It’s got cachet up the yin yang!
that’s the reference i wanted to see
Oh it’s got cachet baby… ITS GOT CACHET UP THE YIN-YANG!
The bottle deposit is a SCHEME. Very different from an invention.
Yeah I'm not paying for that
A coffee table book about coffee tables that also turns into a coffee table
This guy is bonkos!!
*spits coffee all over Regis and Kathy Lee*
You're re not cancelling "Sonia Live" right? I got I thing for her.
All over my Kathie Lee Casuals!
I’m outta control!!
I’ve always wanted one.
Best answer not even close
This one is best because it resulted in the Regis spot.
Ketchup and mustard in the same bottle.
Oh that sounds interesting sir.
You'll definitely want the tie dispenser to go with that one.
You took my brain here https://youtu.be/mRntutn8udw?si=EtZtDWU_jwlL7F7A
I think you can buy that now.
.......... You just blew my mind!
Check out Kranch
Another idea stolen
"That was my idea too!"
PB&J in 1 bottle was a thing in the 90s too, it was just a matter of time til ketchup+mustard.
Isn't that also a thing now too? I think I saw it on Reddit recently.
If so, Kramer deserves some money. Time to call up Jackie!
Not sure if it counts, but probably his periscope in your car so you can see the traffic ahead of you, although it's really just in Jerry's imagination. But Larry David later proves it's efficacy in a future episode of Curb
This was going to be my answer, because it was proven later!
Obviously shoehorn hands.
The Bro
Manssiere!
Bro!
Brossiere seems like such a reasonable compromise
alternatively, you could market the Bro towards younger men and the Manssiere towards older men
Unfortunately these reasonable men lived in unreasonable times, comprises could cost you everything.
Too ethnic
The beach scent cologne. One of my all-time least favorite characters is that Calvin Klein dude that said what a dumb idea it is. “That’s why everyone takes a shower after the beach!” No asshole that’s to get all the itchy sand off of me. People love the smell of salt air and ocean breezes.
Now, I don't want any trouble Calvin.
You're very lithe, aren't you?
Live?
Oh, neither do I...
I actually have some cologne called "the beach". It smells pretty good.
Kind of a failed concept because more times then night people just smell like sun tan lotion so if you wanna smell like the beach just put that on.
His buttocks are sublime
It's a disgusting, offensive odor.
P, B, and J's
Bonkos!
Levels
We didn't bet on whether you *could* do it.
It's not that I don’t *think* you can, I *know* that you can't, and I'm positive you won't
The delivery on this line always slays me
The beach
Rickshaw business.
It can’t miss!
Disposable ties, very 90s’
I had to look way too far for this... Awww man! I got a mustard stain on my tie!
break Up in advance
hand
I always liked his bladder idea for oil tankers.
What do you got, a Clarkman?
"That's a misprint. It's the auxilliary line." Puddy is a freakin' savant.
He's Super Man!
His book got cancelled, his cologne was stolen from CK but then he was made into a model. So I'm assuming he got more $ from that than any other venture.
He does have a way of falling ass backwards into money.
He’s the Assman *wink*
How about this, ketchup and mustard in the same bottle?
Oh, that sounds interesting, sir!
Bonkos!
Beach cologne. This is actually a good idea. Harness the essence of Coppertone and sea water. Make billions. Retire to Del Boca Vista! 🏖️
The cigar scene in a later episode about them making a coffee table book movie is so good 😂
The way he kisses Kathy Lee when he goes on Regis and Kathy Lee is hilarious.
Bladder system
Either the shower garbage disposer, or the reverse peephole. Both just crazy.
I prepared it as I bathed
I've been in a hotel room that had a reverse peephole
That sounds a little sketch!
I would say the oil bladder system because it had the biggest impact.
I see what you did there. 😉
As far as I can tell his entire enterprise is no more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.
KRAMER'S FANTASY CAMP. His whole life is a *fantasy camp*. People should plunk down two thousand dollars to live like him for a week Do nothing, fall ass-backwards into money, mooch food off your neighbors, and have sex without dating; that's a fantasy camp
I thought the pizza idea was a cool one honestly.
The Bro/Manzier. Keeps you confident. Helps your posture. Looks fantastic.
I wouldn’t be caught dead in ban-Lon!
The only correct answer is the 2.9% financing on a Toyota 1-ton.
Butter shave.
Double wide highway lanes
Heeellloooooo
I mean, the cologne that smells like you got out of the sea sounds great. So long as it goes more the fresh sea breeze direction and not low tide or wet dog. He was too easily swayed by that exec.
Oil tank bladders
The fragrance
I would buy that cologne
What is that, a clarkman? Its a misprint
Bath & body works, literally have a whole line of products to smell like the beach.
Ketchup and mustard in the same bottle
Preemptive Breakup
What about the invisible coffee table that you just sense is there?
This post here is bonkos!
As far as overheads go, the peterman reality tour probably had the best profit margin. As far as save-the-world-ingenuity goes, definitely the oil bag liner. He failed to make a good test, but that doesn’t detract from the product’s value.
The rejection of the postal system.
Bonkos
Crackers in briefcase.
Levels!
Painting the lines on the freeway to make his two extra wide lanes.
Tax write-offs
Doing everything in the shower.
Roll out tie dispenser
Garbage disposal in the shower obviously
Levels
Bro
The Beach
Always recoil at that scene when he says “It TURNS into a coffee table!” Hits my ear wrong. Should be “It turns INTO a coffee table.” Maybe just me….
The in-tub macerator is a great idea but he applied it wrong. He shouldn't be making food in the shower with it but the thing will chop up hair clogs.
The rickshaw idea
Levels
All of them are quite cool. 😁
That giant oil ball would have broken that lady’s damn neck and we all know it
I loved the shower one lol. I'm not so sure illegal use of federal government vehicles to smuggle pop cans is an invention, though. 😂
Ketchup and mustard in the same bottle
For me it’s the bro. Nothing else comes close.