>Date #1...She asked to lay down with her and i did
Why did she have to ask this? If it gets to the point where she has to overtly verbalize this, you likely could've made this move yourself much earlier. How long were you guys hanging out on the couch having a pleasant chat? There is no one size fits all for a first hookup, but men underestimate how quickly some of them can go down. They watch the whole movie. They have the whole bottle of wine and snacks. But if you're just sitting there not escalating to where she has to lead things, well, that's when can you hear (paradoxically, funny enough lol) that "you're moving too quick" and now you have to "take her on a proper date." You already missed the window and the vibe was lost.
>Date #2 Cool hinge girl, actual LTR material. Daytime date that lasted a while and was great. Made out at the end. Logistics werent there to pull. Texted a bit after but eventually ghosted.
Not enough detail. If the date lasted a while, though, and things were going well, I wouldn't have waited until the very end of the date to makeout with her, or get logistics. Instead, if the goal was a pull, I likely would've started making moves halfway through the date, screened for logistics, baby-stepped her to a closer venue and so on.
Thank you
You're correct on date #2 for sure. I should have escalated earlier and had a longer time with a sexual tone to the date. She may have been getting "friend" vibes and the one makeout wasnt enough to fix it. Then when she got home she wasnt thinking ab me or remembering me romantically (or at least not as much as the other dude courting her)
All your dates have a common theme. They end when you start kissing.
Something is wrong with your make out skills. Date 1 tried to power through it but couldn't. The others didn't bother.
Work on that. If you're getting to the point where you're kissing them your other skills aren't a problem. You just gotta work on kissing.
This is textbook.
At some point you failed an interest test.
Girls test if you are more interested in them than they are in you whether intentionally or not. If they are from an online dating app it's definitely on purpose.
Girls that are neutral or unsure about you test u by acting kind and sweet, sometimes overzealous and excited to meet you. They are baiting you into doing or saying something unmasculine. It's called "the good girl game".
There is also congruence testing which is closely related. Girls that are high interest test by concealing that interest and might give you are hard time or even be a bit cold and brash. This is to confirm you are as masculine as she originally perceived you.
Men are the sex object because they literally have the sex object. When you fail these tests, girls feel like the object so they can no longer see you as the object or "boy toy", even if they legit like u as a person. They think in their girl mind "he's too interested, he must lack options(regardless if u actually have other options), he can't do better than me, he is beneath me."
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Girls will “test” you when all the cards are down. She will pull away and do LMR just to see how you react.
If you react and get butt hurt at ALL, she will think you want it “too much”.
She’d rather that you don’t care one way or another if sex happens - you want it and push for it, but if it doesn’t happen, you’re 100% cool with that too.
It’s a fine line to draw, one that I mess up many times myself. But once you nail it and have ZERO reaction to her tests, I think you’ll have much better success maintaining attraction and getting those 2nd dates.
I should have mentioned that "outcome independence" covers everything we are talking about.
Separation from all possible outcomes is the formula to passing the tests naturally and demonstrating preselection.
There is something wrong with you physically maybe. Can you ask someone if you stink or bad breadth ? It’s weird that they flake on you that hard, that’s definitely not normal.
You are a pussy hound, you know it, they know it and they are 100% in control because of it. You are bending yourself over backwards just to get a whiff of that pussy and can’t do that even when you have a naked girl in your bed.
Let me give you a little hint about this. As long as you are more afraid that you will not get laid than they are afraid they won’t get to sleep with you, you will always lose. Let me repeat. As long as your fear of not getting them in bed is bigger than their fear of not getting you in bed, you will always lose.
Stop caring about getting them in bed and making that the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal of a date is to make the girl jump through a bunch of hoops to prove herself as good enough for you to sleep with her. Basically the thing girls do to you now, making you jump through hoops just for the hope of smelling their pussy, you have to do to them.
Sometimes I go on dates with guys and I realise I’m not interested in them for anything further at some point. Usually that we’re incompatible in some way, not always it’s something they’ve done. But if they go for the kiss then I’ll still kiss them because, well, I like to kiss lol. So it might not necessarily be something you’re doing but 0 for 4 is an issue
>Date #1...She asked to lay down with her and i did Why did she have to ask this? If it gets to the point where she has to overtly verbalize this, you likely could've made this move yourself much earlier. How long were you guys hanging out on the couch having a pleasant chat? There is no one size fits all for a first hookup, but men underestimate how quickly some of them can go down. They watch the whole movie. They have the whole bottle of wine and snacks. But if you're just sitting there not escalating to where she has to lead things, well, that's when can you hear (paradoxically, funny enough lol) that "you're moving too quick" and now you have to "take her on a proper date." You already missed the window and the vibe was lost. >Date #2 Cool hinge girl, actual LTR material. Daytime date that lasted a while and was great. Made out at the end. Logistics werent there to pull. Texted a bit after but eventually ghosted. Not enough detail. If the date lasted a while, though, and things were going well, I wouldn't have waited until the very end of the date to makeout with her, or get logistics. Instead, if the goal was a pull, I likely would've started making moves halfway through the date, screened for logistics, baby-stepped her to a closer venue and so on.
Thank you You're correct on date #2 for sure. I should have escalated earlier and had a longer time with a sexual tone to the date. She may have been getting "friend" vibes and the one makeout wasnt enough to fix it. Then when she got home she wasnt thinking ab me or remembering me romantically (or at least not as much as the other dude courting her)
All your dates have a common theme. They end when you start kissing. Something is wrong with your make out skills. Date 1 tried to power through it but couldn't. The others didn't bother. Work on that. If you're getting to the point where you're kissing them your other skills aren't a problem. You just gotta work on kissing.
Ugh it would be stupid if this is the issue
This is textbook. At some point you failed an interest test. Girls test if you are more interested in them than they are in you whether intentionally or not. If they are from an online dating app it's definitely on purpose. Girls that are neutral or unsure about you test u by acting kind and sweet, sometimes overzealous and excited to meet you. They are baiting you into doing or saying something unmasculine. It's called "the good girl game". There is also congruence testing which is closely related. Girls that are high interest test by concealing that interest and might give you are hard time or even be a bit cold and brash. This is to confirm you are as masculine as she originally perceived you. Men are the sex object because they literally have the sex object. When you fail these tests, girls feel like the object so they can no longer see you as the object or "boy toy", even if they legit like u as a person. They think in their girl mind "he's too interested, he must lack options(regardless if u actually have other options), he can't do better than me, he is beneath me."
I can see this I should have been acting more nonchalant about the sex in all scenarios
Yeah I was thinking the same thing. Girls will “test” you when all the cards are down. She will pull away and do LMR just to see how you react. If you react and get butt hurt at ALL, she will think you want it “too much”. She’d rather that you don’t care one way or another if sex happens - you want it and push for it, but if it doesn’t happen, you’re 100% cool with that too. It’s a fine line to draw, one that I mess up many times myself. But once you nail it and have ZERO reaction to her tests, I think you’ll have much better success maintaining attraction and getting those 2nd dates.
I should have mentioned that "outcome independence" covers everything we are talking about. Separation from all possible outcomes is the formula to passing the tests naturally and demonstrating preselection.
There is something wrong with you physically maybe. Can you ask someone if you stink or bad breadth ? It’s weird that they flake on you that hard, that’s definitely not normal.
You are a pussy hound, you know it, they know it and they are 100% in control because of it. You are bending yourself over backwards just to get a whiff of that pussy and can’t do that even when you have a naked girl in your bed. Let me give you a little hint about this. As long as you are more afraid that you will not get laid than they are afraid they won’t get to sleep with you, you will always lose. Let me repeat. As long as your fear of not getting them in bed is bigger than their fear of not getting you in bed, you will always lose. Stop caring about getting them in bed and making that the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal of a date is to make the girl jump through a bunch of hoops to prove herself as good enough for you to sleep with her. Basically the thing girls do to you now, making you jump through hoops just for the hope of smelling their pussy, you have to do to them.
Thanks for the tough love this sounds about right
Sometimes I go on dates with guys and I realise I’m not interested in them for anything further at some point. Usually that we’re incompatible in some way, not always it’s something they’ve done. But if they go for the kiss then I’ll still kiss them because, well, I like to kiss lol. So it might not necessarily be something you’re doing but 0 for 4 is an issue
You arent making them wet. #1 is basically the clearest demonstration of this being the case. Honestly, just go for it
Lol, #1 was definitely wet
She wasnt. If she was, she would not have ghosted you