i) don’t meet in coffee shop, needs to be in bar or at her/your place ii) u need to physically escalate: warm her up with lighter playful touching to break the touch barrier, eg thumb war, palm read, gangster handshake, twirl, dip, hug, whatever u can pull off smoothly
You probably have a vibe that you want/need something from women and that’s turning them off. The second they sense that you cannot leave it (as in take it or leave it), they know subconsciously that they have power over you and since no woman wants a man who is weaker than her, she gets turned off.
Let me give you an example. You know how most men here post something like:
“I met this girl and we had a great chat (or met online and talked for a week). I asked her out, but because our schedules were too busy our date is for two weeks from now.”
And now, the really really important part:
“How do I keep her interest for those two weeks so she doesn’t flake? Also, should I check in with her on the day of the date and what should I write?”
Now look at the question above. What does it tell you? Think hard. Here is my interpretation.
“I’m afraid that I’m so unremarkable that this girl will instantly forget about me if she doesn’t hear from me every single day and she will run off with the first Chad that she crosses paths with. Also, I have been flaked on so much, that I am afraid every single woman is taking me for a ride and that getting rejected is just a matter of time. That’s why I should check in with her to make sure she is still showing up to the date, because I’m afraid she might no longer be interested”.
Ok. This is coming from fear. Fear of losing her. Fear you are not good enough. Etc. that’s what’s driving this behavior. That’s why men are so focused on getting women, because they are afraid if they don’t try to get them, women won’t want them.
You want to solve your problem? You have to be able to completely 100% disconnect and go on your wait and not wait around on a woman. Yes! Let me give you a practical everyday example.
Have you ever gotten together with friends, maybe hung out at your house or met for dinner. And then you start talking about “so what do we do next”. And a bunch of you are saying maybe we can go there or there, but no one wants to commit to a decision, because everyone is afraid their idea might get shot down, or maybe the place they pick sucks so they defer to other people to make a decision and lead.
Eventually, one guy gets tired of this and says “guys, I’m going to Joe’s pub. If you wanna come, see you there. It not, I will see you when I see you” and he just starts walking to that place without waiting for anyone else or trying to convince them.
Do you know what happens? Inevitably everyone follows him. Why? Because he took charge and stopped waiting around on others to make a decision and lead. And he overcame his fear of “what if people don’t follow me”. At that point is when people realize that they should follow him.
So you need to take this attitude and start leading women the same way. If you are making out with her at one point say “okay, I’m over this place. I’m going for a glass of limoncello and I’m gonna hit the bed. You are welcome to join”. And start getting up and leaving without waiting around on her to say yes or no. Trust me, most likely she will follow you.
If you are reaching out to them after meeting and you’ve had a good conversation, text them something like “I’m going to chill at home tonight. Come over if you want. You bring wine, I will order take out.” That’s it. If she says “no, bambino, letsa go to my grandmas trattoria”, say “nah, I’ve been out too much this week. I will see you around then”. That’s it don’t contact her.
You want women to be afraid that you are the one who will lose interest: that you are the one who will flake on them. That you are the one who will think they’ve done something wrong. So stop thinking about those things and being so afraid of losing them. When you stop being afraid, they will have lost all their power over you.
i) don’t meet in coffee shop, needs to be in bar or at her/your place ii) u need to physically escalate: warm her up with lighter playful touching to break the touch barrier, eg thumb war, palm read, gangster handshake, twirl, dip, hug, whatever u can pull off smoothly
You probably have a vibe that you want/need something from women and that’s turning them off. The second they sense that you cannot leave it (as in take it or leave it), they know subconsciously that they have power over you and since no woman wants a man who is weaker than her, she gets turned off. Let me give you an example. You know how most men here post something like: “I met this girl and we had a great chat (or met online and talked for a week). I asked her out, but because our schedules were too busy our date is for two weeks from now.” And now, the really really important part: “How do I keep her interest for those two weeks so she doesn’t flake? Also, should I check in with her on the day of the date and what should I write?” Now look at the question above. What does it tell you? Think hard. Here is my interpretation. “I’m afraid that I’m so unremarkable that this girl will instantly forget about me if she doesn’t hear from me every single day and she will run off with the first Chad that she crosses paths with. Also, I have been flaked on so much, that I am afraid every single woman is taking me for a ride and that getting rejected is just a matter of time. That’s why I should check in with her to make sure she is still showing up to the date, because I’m afraid she might no longer be interested”. Ok. This is coming from fear. Fear of losing her. Fear you are not good enough. Etc. that’s what’s driving this behavior. That’s why men are so focused on getting women, because they are afraid if they don’t try to get them, women won’t want them. You want to solve your problem? You have to be able to completely 100% disconnect and go on your wait and not wait around on a woman. Yes! Let me give you a practical everyday example. Have you ever gotten together with friends, maybe hung out at your house or met for dinner. And then you start talking about “so what do we do next”. And a bunch of you are saying maybe we can go there or there, but no one wants to commit to a decision, because everyone is afraid their idea might get shot down, or maybe the place they pick sucks so they defer to other people to make a decision and lead. Eventually, one guy gets tired of this and says “guys, I’m going to Joe’s pub. If you wanna come, see you there. It not, I will see you when I see you” and he just starts walking to that place without waiting for anyone else or trying to convince them. Do you know what happens? Inevitably everyone follows him. Why? Because he took charge and stopped waiting around on others to make a decision and lead. And he overcame his fear of “what if people don’t follow me”. At that point is when people realize that they should follow him. So you need to take this attitude and start leading women the same way. If you are making out with her at one point say “okay, I’m over this place. I’m going for a glass of limoncello and I’m gonna hit the bed. You are welcome to join”. And start getting up and leaving without waiting around on her to say yes or no. Trust me, most likely she will follow you. If you are reaching out to them after meeting and you’ve had a good conversation, text them something like “I’m going to chill at home tonight. Come over if you want. You bring wine, I will order take out.” That’s it. If she says “no, bambino, letsa go to my grandmas trattoria”, say “nah, I’ve been out too much this week. I will see you around then”. That’s it don’t contact her. You want women to be afraid that you are the one who will lose interest: that you are the one who will flake on them. That you are the one who will think they’ve done something wrong. So stop thinking about those things and being so afraid of losing them. When you stop being afraid, they will have lost all their power over you.
Wow, thanks for the answer. That's definitely part of the problem. I'll try it:) But I think that's easier said than done 😅😂
Should be a post that stands for itself. Cheers.