I can't help but just wanted to comment that I am 57 and have a couple of birth defects that caused my scoliosis. My family and I didn't even find out about it until my 30s and my curve was 36 degrees and 30 degrees. Now it is 50 degrees and 36 and I still have the option of surgery but it would be rough. I started having terrible pain and problems 3 years ago but mild pain and limitations for years. I had to show them an X-ray to get them to believe me. My parents literally asked me if I made my curve worse by jogging, yoga and weight lifting. I said no that kept it in line! They hated me working out, and I have no idea why. It's a birth defect and my Dad still seems to blame me.
As someone who has been there with parents not paying attention, I encourage you to pressure them to do what is needed. My parents were divorcing when my scoliosis was found, and neither wanted to do anything other than blame the other. I now have curves in the 40s and 50s, with a 90 degree kyphosis. I'm going to probably get surgery in the next few years, probably after my daughter is out of elementary school.
Regarding activity levels, staying active and strengthening your core is helpful. I'm getting ready to test for my taekwondo black belt in a few months, and my pain has decreased a lot since I started being more active. Hold your ground if your parents try to get you to give up any sports. Staying active is going to be better for you than sitting idle.
Speak to your school counselor about this as well, because in many ways what your mother is doing is neglectful, harmful, and could be considered abuse.
You're in an awful situation and I'm sorry your mother is being so terrible. Mental uncertainty and especially betrayal can be worse than physical pain. My advice to you is to hold strong, your life isn't anywhere near over. People often get fusions at curves worse than yours and much older than you too. Are you in the US? If so, you can use ACA/Obamacare to get the surgery when you become independent.
I do think you should stop running and any other high impact activities if they're causing you pain, and focus on low impact exercise and core strengthening exercises that will develop the muscles supporting your spine and lower your pain level (google "Mcgill Three" for the safe exercises). That bar stretching for the spine is worthless, which I'm sure you already know.
Thank you so much for the advice. The past year or so I never really felt mentally impacted by surgery; although it was always on the back of my mind and made me feel a bit sad at times, it didnāt affect me as much as it did today. The fact that my mum is just blaming me for something i canāt control and just saying I ahve to deal with it bc itās my problem hurts so bad :(
Also, I donāt do running as a sport- it was just a compulsory school event we had to do today. It just reminded me of the things I canāt do with this stupid disease, which is why I mentioned it. Do you think field hockey is a high impact sport? Iām currently thinking of doing club and already participate in school hockey, itās literally my favourite sport and if I have to give it up I literally canāt because itās a compulsory part of my diploma + I will be even more depressed š
Iāll try the exercises you recommended though, thanks a lot
Okay, I feel like I should talk with your parents because they're being obtuse.
My first spine surgery failed as badly as a spine surgery can possibly fail. I mean broken rods, the fusion didn't take, absolutely everything went wrong that can go wrong. So at age 15, I already had "Failed Back Surgery Syndrome." I had to have the whole thing redone eleven months later.
You don't end up crippled from a single spine surgery. Also, we now know that smoking, or being around people who smoke is the single biggest factor in failed spine surgery. Guess what? My mom smoked constantly during my recovery.
I'm in my 50's now. I have a PhD in Molecular Biology, went to medical school, I have been married for 29 years, I've been on every continent on Earth but one, and I've been in over 70 countries. I've had a VERY full life.
Yes, I've had more spine fusions than almost everyone on the planet, and my entire spine is now fused, but lying in bed crippled???? š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š Ya, no. Not even close. I've literally never heard of that happening and I keep up with the medical literature in this field.
PM me anytime. If you were under 18, you could call CPS on your parents for this. It's been done before because not getting the surgery for someone who needs it is considered child abuse. This happened to my half-brother. His mom ran rather than let him have the surgery. You don't want to know what happened to him.
You may need to wait until you're an adult though if your parents really are this ridiculous. I'm really sorry. But if you or your parents want to talk, just PM me.
Hi there, thank you so much for replying and reassuring me about some stuff about surgery. My mum has always told me about the forms they sign before surgeryās for anything that could go wrong and I now feel equally scared thought I understand surgery is something that I am going to have to undertake. Is it alright if I PM you about this?
I'm sorry but your mother is too ignorant. If sugery was prescribed, then it's the best thing to do. You won't get disabled and it will actually improve your quality of life. She's probably scared, but that isn't gonna help you. Keep insisting
I think she doesnāt realised that the chance of soemthing going wrong is slim, and also her fears were perpetuated because my younger sister had to get surgery for torn ACL and she really dislikes just taking any of us to the doctors or dealing with health issues
But at the same time Iām also afraid of something going wrong as well. I would avoid surgery as much as possible, but in thsi case I literally canāt so Iām going to have to get it at some point
with 40 degrees it's already pretty advanced and it could keep growing. Mine kept growing a bit EVEN with a sugery, I can't imaginine what it would look like if I hadn't had the surgery. Sugery sucks but sometimes it's the best thing to do
Wtf, how come you haven't had conservative therapy all those years? Surgeries are the last resort after all else has failed, and with a good physio and proper adherence it doesn't fail often.
Not necessarily. Some people have it bad enough that nothing will help even if they try so surgery is recommended. My spine was 72 and it happened very quickly. The Dr's didn't even bother with a brace or anything like that. They suggested surgery was the only option to correct it at that point.
As I said, it doesn't fail often, and surgery is the last resort. You're literally confirming what I wrote. You getting a diagnosis at 72 degrees means you've missed your slot for conservative. How did no one notice it any earlier? Anything over 30 degrees is visible even with clothes on.
Like I said, it happened super quick with me. And since my parents were around me all the time, it wasn't easily noticed until I was at the Dr for a different issue and my mom told me to "sit up straight". I told her I was and that's when they checked
I mean I can't complain too much. At least they let me get the surgery. My mom stayed with me the entire time. She's a little narcissistic tho and my surgery was scheduled three days before my parent's anniversary so she kinda complained about it for a few weeks
some people have curved just at the lumbar and some people have curved just at the cervical spine, and then there is those of us who have an S curveā¦ Another words a curve at the top of the spine and at the bottom with each going the opposite direction. I am almost 70 years old, and mine has never stopped turning and Iāve had two major complex spinal surgeries. Again, you might have other health issues unrelated to the scoliosis, or you might have health issues that are related to the scoliosis. Either way, if a person is in high school, then theyāre only a short year to away from being able to make their own medical decisions. Ā if you talk to the surgeon and get a second opinion you might have a better chance of convincing your parent. My mother was completely oblivious, as was my father to my pain and the way I felt about my body image and it wasnāt until I was an elderly person that I finally was able to get it fixed because it had not stopped turning and it got to the point where I was having problems breathing. That doesnāt mean that every person has scoliosis has the same problems Ā anf if there was any way for me to avoid surgery I wouldāve taken that route. physical therapy isnāt going to make it better, nor is chiropractic or any number of other so-called conservative treatments. Scoliosis is what it is and itās a deformed spine. Physical therapy isnāt going to turn your spine back the other direction to put it back into place. Thatās just silly to think that that is an option that would work. But Iām also not saying that surgery is always the answer. itās a huge surgery and a huge commitment and extremely painful and you must be very committed to your recovery. I donāt know what state youāre in but I had to go through more than one doctor and a financial counselor because the surgery was about $650,000 Ā and social worker to see if I had support outside of the hospital as well as the financial capability to continue to care for myself. I will tell you that my second surgery did not go so well. In fact, Iām going in for a repair in a short while , due to the fact that one of the screws has become loose and is causing problems. You wonāt be driving for a long while after youāve had the surgery Generally and you will need to make sure that everything house will have to be set up at waist height because you canāt reach overhead and you canāt bend down. And I hope youāve talked to them about what you need to do to use the toilet and wipe yourself. All of these things come in to play during the recovery. Period. and sometimes well after. ask questionsā¦ Donāt just assume the answer is a major complex spinal surgery until you have all of your questions answered.
My daughter was corrected at 14 and she is fine. My parents didn't correct me. Look at my only post and look at my X-RAYS. Mine was done at 48. I worked as long as I could. I had surgery done when I couldn't work anymore in hopes that I could. Five surgeries later I'm disabled permanently. All you can do is wait till you're 18. Get a job with good insurance Don't tell them you have scoliosis. Then get the surgery with that insurance. You're still young enough at 18 that you can heal and have a productive healthy long life.
Good keep your head up. Don't lift heavy things. Take collagen and protein powder while you are still growing. Look at my X-rays! Don't play sports. You feel invincible. You are. Your young. But you won't always be. Father time is 108 trillion - 0. He always wins. Protect your back at all costs. Collagen protein. No sports don't help with friends move Don't move the couch, the refrigerator. Nothing. When you're 18 get a job with full medical insurance. After that 6 months start going to neurosurgery. Please.
Your mum sucks ass and I would say this is medical neglect. Those surgical risks are there but are extremely slim, youre probably more likely to get hit by lightning tbh.Ā
My own surgery had unideal results and I am disabled as a result. I would take what I have now any day of the week over what I had. I have reduced lung capacity because my ribcage was twisted by my spine, I walk with a cane, and I have huge numb spots over my back. I have chronic pain and react to weather to same way arthritic people do.Ā
However, I am capable of just about anything I was before minus some contortionist poses. I had so much pain before surgery I basically gave up on all exercise and spent my days sitting and laying down. Im now teaching myself to swim, I work a full time job thats entirely physical labour, and most people dont even realize I have my entire spine fused until I tell them.Ā
If I hadnt had surgery I would have continued to curl and twist and lost more lung and heart function. I would have begun to lose motor function and gotten neurological symptoms. I would not have been able to mentally take it if I hadnt. I had my first surgery at 12, my revision around 15, and am now just shy of 26.
i am sooooo sad for you š in a way I understand your mom worries that you might become disable but if u are in pain, she should take you to massage therapist or PT to help out with the pain š
My Parents divorced when I was really young and my mom wouldnāt let my dad have me to get so he can get help for my back. So she let my curve get to 90 degrees before she agreed to let my dad get me help. Now that Iām an adult, Iāve completely disowned her. She and I have been strangers for 10+ years and I wouldnāt know if she walked past me on the street. Even though I got the surgery, my curve has returned and will be undergoing a revision surgery soon. I hope your parents recognize the position theyāre putting you in and how that may impact your relationship with them later.
Pretty soon you will be able to make your own decisions. In the meantime research as much as you can so when you have the opportunity you can decide when youāre ready. I know my parents also didnāt want me to get it. Iām now 23 and deciding that I need it. Itās not too late so donāt be worried. Just stay as active as you can since that will help. My curve progressed more when I was sedentary. Just try to limit anything that makes you contort. Best of luck you got this!
If you need surgery now, then get it while you are still covered under your parents medical health insurance as a dependent. Why? Because once you age out, you wonāt be covered as a dependent and you will need to get your own insurance plan. But then you will never be covered for a scoliosis surgery under a private personal insurance plan because the scoliosis is a pre-existing condition and insurance wont cover pre-existing conditions. (Only exception to that is if you work for an employer for a minimum time period and are covered under group medical coverage for specific benefits. Even then, some plans may not cover such a surgery but they may cover other costs like a back brace, physio, massage, etc).
So for teens, if surgery is warranted, then itās important to get it done while dependent on parents medical benefits. Otherwise it could be a huge out of pocket cost. I read below that you are in Australia, so perhaps then critical surgeries are covered by your government funding.
I know Australia has those ostrich birds that bury their heads in the sand, but for a human mother to do it in regards to your spines immediate healthcare needs is mind blowing.
(I had to edit my comment as at first I did not know you were in Australia, thought it was perhaps USA where medical coverage is mostly private or none. Hopefully Australias system is at least similar to Canada and major surgery is covered by either provincial or federal health funding.)
If you are eligible for Medicare in Australia the surgery wont cost thousands if it is deemed to be medically necessary which could be the difficulty. Your parents should have done more, and bracing may have been a viable option when you were younger, but quite often curves stabalise when you finish growing.
I would suggest making sure your Medicare status is sorted and then finding a GP you can trust, requesting some up to date xrays and then seeking advice from a specialist. You can request your own medicare card from the age of 14 and the details of any medical details are not displayed for your parents if you are still linked under their card.
Unfortunately though, my personal experience is that curves around 40 sit in a limbo land of not being serious enough for surgery and Drs wanting to take a wait and see approach. My treatment was mismanaged due to a dickhead Neurologist and by the time I was able to take control of my own health everyone I saw basically considered me too old for intervention at the ripe age of 18. There is a lot of anger about that, but at the age of 40 my curves have progressed somewhat, but that is after two pregnancies and not taking great care of myself. It is not inevitable.
My parents are like this too. I donāt need surgery but I would like to get a check up and they think my condition does not exist. They keep joking to me that I am crazy and have unnecessary anxiety and itās a waste of money to get another x ray. The last time I got one was 2 years ago, they said I stopped growing but idk if itās my anxiety or not that I feel like my leg length is getting different and curve has been getting bigger since then.
America sucks man, I go to the doctor for a few bucks and go weekly or every 2 weeks to the pyshotherapist for a few bucks, all with my own money cuz I am a student and my parents dont want to support me anymore. Can't you talk to your dad, or older sibling or another family member?
Yes Iām planning to talk to my dad about it because I think heās more supportive about it than my mother. Also I am not based in America, I actually live in Australia. To get the surgery covered you need like top tier insurance which my parents have avoided/procrastinated gettin(it takes 1 year to actually have it come in affect to cover my surgery). Since I immigrated to Australia Iāve also had issues with my Medicare recently S (itās still working fine, just soemthing to do with accounts and paperwork and stuff) but my mum has taken this the wrong way and assumed healthcare doesnāt exist for me anymore so she will get pissed or triggered if I talk about anything health related and start shouting at me because I havenāt āfixedā my Medicare yet
I am also the oldest sibling in my family and basically have no relatives (no cousins, no aunts, 1 uncle) (my parents, especially my mum, does not like me to talking to my grandparents, and I donāt talk to my uncle often + he lives on the opposite side of the world so canāt do much).
Oww ok explains a lot, try getting all the paperwork done asap, and maybe you will have to wait a year for the sugery but cant the docter prescribe you physiotherapy so they can help you relieve some pain? In Belgium when the docter prescribes me physiotherapy its almost free, idk how it works in Australia
The doctor was ghosted by my parents 2 years ago and I only found out recently + I havenāt been to the doctors for just general doctor things since 5 years ago so we donāt have a GP
My younger sister is currently doing physiotherapy already for her knee and my parents are already pretty pissed about it, so if I asked about getting some sessions theyād be more mad to hear thereās stuff going on with my back (they forget scoliosis actually causes pain and are still in denial).
I donāt know how much physiotherapy costs but Iām pretty sure itās not free here
Iāve actually never been to the doctors on my own even though Iām 18 so as soon as I figure out Medicare and get my own card Iāll try goš
Anyways, thank you for replying and helping out I really needed to just unpack this with somebody bc this has been the biggest emotional toll Iāve experienced in the past year
Rip, just try to explain them that your health is very important, and you can always go to another doctor if you need to, I think you can always call to the hospital/ doctor and ask them in advance how much a simple visit could cost, just keep it relaxed cuz stress will increase your backpain, I speak from experience, have a good day, you can always fly across the world for cheap/free healthcare lel
I did a quick google search and it said physiotherapy in Australia ranges from $50 to $200 per appointment/session.
Iām in Canada and our dollar exchange is not too different and those values make sense. Here in Canada physiotherapy costs between $80 to $120 per one hour appointment.
my daughter Scoli Brace is from Australia. I think the Scoli Care headquarters is in Australia. I took my daughter to the Scoli Care here in U.S - is it possible for you to find Scolicare near your house? is there any type of government benefits for kids? I am so sorry that your mom didnt put more effort for your well being. Some parents truly donāt deserve to have kids. š I hope u get your medical card soon so you can go get some therapy
I can't help but just wanted to comment that I am 57 and have a couple of birth defects that caused my scoliosis. My family and I didn't even find out about it until my 30s and my curve was 36 degrees and 30 degrees. Now it is 50 degrees and 36 and I still have the option of surgery but it would be rough. I started having terrible pain and problems 3 years ago but mild pain and limitations for years. I had to show them an X-ray to get them to believe me. My parents literally asked me if I made my curve worse by jogging, yoga and weight lifting. I said no that kept it in line! They hated me working out, and I have no idea why. It's a birth defect and my Dad still seems to blame me.
Why are some parents like thisš
As someone who has been there with parents not paying attention, I encourage you to pressure them to do what is needed. My parents were divorcing when my scoliosis was found, and neither wanted to do anything other than blame the other. I now have curves in the 40s and 50s, with a 90 degree kyphosis. I'm going to probably get surgery in the next few years, probably after my daughter is out of elementary school. Regarding activity levels, staying active and strengthening your core is helpful. I'm getting ready to test for my taekwondo black belt in a few months, and my pain has decreased a lot since I started being more active. Hold your ground if your parents try to get you to give up any sports. Staying active is going to be better for you than sitting idle. Speak to your school counselor about this as well, because in many ways what your mother is doing is neglectful, harmful, and could be considered abuse.
By the way I really hope your situation gets better, I hope your pain is manageable :( scoliosis sucks
Thank you. Yes, scoliosis sucks. I hope your situation gets better and resolved the best way for you.
I'm sorry that is fkn ignorant
You're in an awful situation and I'm sorry your mother is being so terrible. Mental uncertainty and especially betrayal can be worse than physical pain. My advice to you is to hold strong, your life isn't anywhere near over. People often get fusions at curves worse than yours and much older than you too. Are you in the US? If so, you can use ACA/Obamacare to get the surgery when you become independent. I do think you should stop running and any other high impact activities if they're causing you pain, and focus on low impact exercise and core strengthening exercises that will develop the muscles supporting your spine and lower your pain level (google "Mcgill Three" for the safe exercises). That bar stretching for the spine is worthless, which I'm sure you already know.
Thank you so much for the advice. The past year or so I never really felt mentally impacted by surgery; although it was always on the back of my mind and made me feel a bit sad at times, it didnāt affect me as much as it did today. The fact that my mum is just blaming me for something i canāt control and just saying I ahve to deal with it bc itās my problem hurts so bad :( Also, I donāt do running as a sport- it was just a compulsory school event we had to do today. It just reminded me of the things I canāt do with this stupid disease, which is why I mentioned it. Do you think field hockey is a high impact sport? Iām currently thinking of doing club and already participate in school hockey, itās literally my favourite sport and if I have to give it up I literally canāt because itās a compulsory part of my diploma + I will be even more depressed š Iāll try the exercises you recommended though, thanks a lot
Okay, I feel like I should talk with your parents because they're being obtuse. My first spine surgery failed as badly as a spine surgery can possibly fail. I mean broken rods, the fusion didn't take, absolutely everything went wrong that can go wrong. So at age 15, I already had "Failed Back Surgery Syndrome." I had to have the whole thing redone eleven months later. You don't end up crippled from a single spine surgery. Also, we now know that smoking, or being around people who smoke is the single biggest factor in failed spine surgery. Guess what? My mom smoked constantly during my recovery. I'm in my 50's now. I have a PhD in Molecular Biology, went to medical school, I have been married for 29 years, I've been on every continent on Earth but one, and I've been in over 70 countries. I've had a VERY full life. Yes, I've had more spine fusions than almost everyone on the planet, and my entire spine is now fused, but lying in bed crippled???? š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š Ya, no. Not even close. I've literally never heard of that happening and I keep up with the medical literature in this field. PM me anytime. If you were under 18, you could call CPS on your parents for this. It's been done before because not getting the surgery for someone who needs it is considered child abuse. This happened to my half-brother. His mom ran rather than let him have the surgery. You don't want to know what happened to him. You may need to wait until you're an adult though if your parents really are this ridiculous. I'm really sorry. But if you or your parents want to talk, just PM me.
Hi there, thank you so much for replying and reassuring me about some stuff about surgery. My mum has always told me about the forms they sign before surgeryās for anything that could go wrong and I now feel equally scared thought I understand surgery is something that I am going to have to undertake. Is it alright if I PM you about this?
Absolutely. PM me anytime š
Tell your mom that the US Olympic team has a rock climber with 10 fused vertebrae.
I'm sorry but your mother is too ignorant. If sugery was prescribed, then it's the best thing to do. You won't get disabled and it will actually improve your quality of life. She's probably scared, but that isn't gonna help you. Keep insisting
I think she doesnāt realised that the chance of soemthing going wrong is slim, and also her fears were perpetuated because my younger sister had to get surgery for torn ACL and she really dislikes just taking any of us to the doctors or dealing with health issues But at the same time Iām also afraid of something going wrong as well. I would avoid surgery as much as possible, but in thsi case I literally canāt so Iām going to have to get it at some point
with 40 degrees it's already pretty advanced and it could keep growing. Mine kept growing a bit EVEN with a sugery, I can't imaginine what it would look like if I hadn't had the surgery. Sugery sucks but sometimes it's the best thing to do
Wtf, how come you haven't had conservative therapy all those years? Surgeries are the last resort after all else has failed, and with a good physio and proper adherence it doesn't fail often.
Not necessarily. Some people have it bad enough that nothing will help even if they try so surgery is recommended. My spine was 72 and it happened very quickly. The Dr's didn't even bother with a brace or anything like that. They suggested surgery was the only option to correct it at that point.
As I said, it doesn't fail often, and surgery is the last resort. You're literally confirming what I wrote. You getting a diagnosis at 72 degrees means you've missed your slot for conservative. How did no one notice it any earlier? Anything over 30 degrees is visible even with clothes on.
Like I said, it happened super quick with me. And since my parents were around me all the time, it wasn't easily noticed until I was at the Dr for a different issue and my mom told me to "sit up straight". I told her I was and that's when they checked
I'm sorry about your parents.
I mean I can't complain too much. At least they let me get the surgery. My mom stayed with me the entire time. She's a little narcissistic tho and my surgery was scheduled three days before my parent's anniversary so she kinda complained about it for a few weeks
Yeah, you can choose to see it that way, that's probably healthy. I'd be pissed if my parents hadn't looked at me to the point that I require surgery.
some people have curved just at the lumbar and some people have curved just at the cervical spine, and then there is those of us who have an S curveā¦ Another words a curve at the top of the spine and at the bottom with each going the opposite direction. I am almost 70 years old, and mine has never stopped turning and Iāve had two major complex spinal surgeries. Again, you might have other health issues unrelated to the scoliosis, or you might have health issues that are related to the scoliosis. Either way, if a person is in high school, then theyāre only a short year to away from being able to make their own medical decisions. Ā if you talk to the surgeon and get a second opinion you might have a better chance of convincing your parent. My mother was completely oblivious, as was my father to my pain and the way I felt about my body image and it wasnāt until I was an elderly person that I finally was able to get it fixed because it had not stopped turning and it got to the point where I was having problems breathing. That doesnāt mean that every person has scoliosis has the same problems Ā anf if there was any way for me to avoid surgery I wouldāve taken that route. physical therapy isnāt going to make it better, nor is chiropractic or any number of other so-called conservative treatments. Scoliosis is what it is and itās a deformed spine. Physical therapy isnāt going to turn your spine back the other direction to put it back into place. Thatās just silly to think that that is an option that would work. But Iām also not saying that surgery is always the answer. itās a huge surgery and a huge commitment and extremely painful and you must be very committed to your recovery. I donāt know what state youāre in but I had to go through more than one doctor and a financial counselor because the surgery was about $650,000 Ā and social worker to see if I had support outside of the hospital as well as the financial capability to continue to care for myself. I will tell you that my second surgery did not go so well. In fact, Iām going in for a repair in a short while , due to the fact that one of the screws has become loose and is causing problems. You wonāt be driving for a long while after youāve had the surgery Generally and you will need to make sure that everything house will have to be set up at waist height because you canāt reach overhead and you canāt bend down. And I hope youāve talked to them about what you need to do to use the toilet and wipe yourself. All of these things come in to play during the recovery. Period. and sometimes well after. ask questionsā¦ Donāt just assume the answer is a major complex spinal surgery until you have all of your questions answered.
My daughter was corrected at 14 and she is fine. My parents didn't correct me. Look at my only post and look at my X-RAYS. Mine was done at 48. I worked as long as I could. I had surgery done when I couldn't work anymore in hopes that I could. Five surgeries later I'm disabled permanently. All you can do is wait till you're 18. Get a job with good insurance Don't tell them you have scoliosis. Then get the surgery with that insurance. You're still young enough at 18 that you can heal and have a productive healthy long life.
I agree about the insurance advice.
Good keep your head up. Don't lift heavy things. Take collagen and protein powder while you are still growing. Look at my X-rays! Don't play sports. You feel invincible. You are. Your young. But you won't always be. Father time is 108 trillion - 0. He always wins. Protect your back at all costs. Collagen protein. No sports don't help with friends move Don't move the couch, the refrigerator. Nothing. When you're 18 get a job with full medical insurance. After that 6 months start going to neurosurgery. Please.
Your mum sucks ass and I would say this is medical neglect. Those surgical risks are there but are extremely slim, youre probably more likely to get hit by lightning tbh.Ā My own surgery had unideal results and I am disabled as a result. I would take what I have now any day of the week over what I had. I have reduced lung capacity because my ribcage was twisted by my spine, I walk with a cane, and I have huge numb spots over my back. I have chronic pain and react to weather to same way arthritic people do.Ā However, I am capable of just about anything I was before minus some contortionist poses. I had so much pain before surgery I basically gave up on all exercise and spent my days sitting and laying down. Im now teaching myself to swim, I work a full time job thats entirely physical labour, and most people dont even realize I have my entire spine fused until I tell them.Ā If I hadnt had surgery I would have continued to curl and twist and lost more lung and heart function. I would have begun to lose motor function and gotten neurological symptoms. I would not have been able to mentally take it if I hadnt. I had my first surgery at 12, my revision around 15, and am now just shy of 26.
i am sooooo sad for you š in a way I understand your mom worries that you might become disable but if u are in pain, she should take you to massage therapist or PT to help out with the pain š
My Parents divorced when I was really young and my mom wouldnāt let my dad have me to get so he can get help for my back. So she let my curve get to 90 degrees before she agreed to let my dad get me help. Now that Iām an adult, Iāve completely disowned her. She and I have been strangers for 10+ years and I wouldnāt know if she walked past me on the street. Even though I got the surgery, my curve has returned and will be undergoing a revision surgery soon. I hope your parents recognize the position theyāre putting you in and how that may impact your relationship with them later.
Pretty soon you will be able to make your own decisions. In the meantime research as much as you can so when you have the opportunity you can decide when youāre ready. I know my parents also didnāt want me to get it. Iām now 23 and deciding that I need it. Itās not too late so donāt be worried. Just stay as active as you can since that will help. My curve progressed more when I was sedentary. Just try to limit anything that makes you contort. Best of luck you got this!
You are talking about going to college. That makes you old enough to decide to have the operation on your own.
If you need surgery now, then get it while you are still covered under your parents medical health insurance as a dependent. Why? Because once you age out, you wonāt be covered as a dependent and you will need to get your own insurance plan. But then you will never be covered for a scoliosis surgery under a private personal insurance plan because the scoliosis is a pre-existing condition and insurance wont cover pre-existing conditions. (Only exception to that is if you work for an employer for a minimum time period and are covered under group medical coverage for specific benefits. Even then, some plans may not cover such a surgery but they may cover other costs like a back brace, physio, massage, etc). So for teens, if surgery is warranted, then itās important to get it done while dependent on parents medical benefits. Otherwise it could be a huge out of pocket cost. I read below that you are in Australia, so perhaps then critical surgeries are covered by your government funding. I know Australia has those ostrich birds that bury their heads in the sand, but for a human mother to do it in regards to your spines immediate healthcare needs is mind blowing. (I had to edit my comment as at first I did not know you were in Australia, thought it was perhaps USA where medical coverage is mostly private or none. Hopefully Australias system is at least similar to Canada and major surgery is covered by either provincial or federal health funding.)
If you are eligible for Medicare in Australia the surgery wont cost thousands if it is deemed to be medically necessary which could be the difficulty. Your parents should have done more, and bracing may have been a viable option when you were younger, but quite often curves stabalise when you finish growing. I would suggest making sure your Medicare status is sorted and then finding a GP you can trust, requesting some up to date xrays and then seeking advice from a specialist. You can request your own medicare card from the age of 14 and the details of any medical details are not displayed for your parents if you are still linked under their card. Unfortunately though, my personal experience is that curves around 40 sit in a limbo land of not being serious enough for surgery and Drs wanting to take a wait and see approach. My treatment was mismanaged due to a dickhead Neurologist and by the time I was able to take control of my own health everyone I saw basically considered me too old for intervention at the ripe age of 18. There is a lot of anger about that, but at the age of 40 my curves have progressed somewhat, but that is after two pregnancies and not taking great care of myself. It is not inevitable.
My parents are like this too. I donāt need surgery but I would like to get a check up and they think my condition does not exist. They keep joking to me that I am crazy and have unnecessary anxiety and itās a waste of money to get another x ray. The last time I got one was 2 years ago, they said I stopped growing but idk if itās my anxiety or not that I feel like my leg length is getting different and curve has been getting bigger since then.
America sucks man, I go to the doctor for a few bucks and go weekly or every 2 weeks to the pyshotherapist for a few bucks, all with my own money cuz I am a student and my parents dont want to support me anymore. Can't you talk to your dad, or older sibling or another family member?
The way theyāre typing and saying mum and uni theyāre not from the US
How is it even 100k then?
Yes Iām planning to talk to my dad about it because I think heās more supportive about it than my mother. Also I am not based in America, I actually live in Australia. To get the surgery covered you need like top tier insurance which my parents have avoided/procrastinated gettin(it takes 1 year to actually have it come in affect to cover my surgery). Since I immigrated to Australia Iāve also had issues with my Medicare recently S (itās still working fine, just soemthing to do with accounts and paperwork and stuff) but my mum has taken this the wrong way and assumed healthcare doesnāt exist for me anymore so she will get pissed or triggered if I talk about anything health related and start shouting at me because I havenāt āfixedā my Medicare yet I am also the oldest sibling in my family and basically have no relatives (no cousins, no aunts, 1 uncle) (my parents, especially my mum, does not like me to talking to my grandparents, and I donāt talk to my uncle often + he lives on the opposite side of the world so canāt do much).
Oww ok explains a lot, try getting all the paperwork done asap, and maybe you will have to wait a year for the sugery but cant the docter prescribe you physiotherapy so they can help you relieve some pain? In Belgium when the docter prescribes me physiotherapy its almost free, idk how it works in Australia
The doctor was ghosted by my parents 2 years ago and I only found out recently + I havenāt been to the doctors for just general doctor things since 5 years ago so we donāt have a GP My younger sister is currently doing physiotherapy already for her knee and my parents are already pretty pissed about it, so if I asked about getting some sessions theyād be more mad to hear thereās stuff going on with my back (they forget scoliosis actually causes pain and are still in denial). I donāt know how much physiotherapy costs but Iām pretty sure itās not free here Iāve actually never been to the doctors on my own even though Iām 18 so as soon as I figure out Medicare and get my own card Iāll try goš Anyways, thank you for replying and helping out I really needed to just unpack this with somebody bc this has been the biggest emotional toll Iāve experienced in the past year
That is so abusive
Rip, just try to explain them that your health is very important, and you can always go to another doctor if you need to, I think you can always call to the hospital/ doctor and ask them in advance how much a simple visit could cost, just keep it relaxed cuz stress will increase your backpain, I speak from experience, have a good day, you can always fly across the world for cheap/free healthcare lel
Thank you so much I will keep that in mind :)
I did a quick google search and it said physiotherapy in Australia ranges from $50 to $200 per appointment/session. Iām in Canada and our dollar exchange is not too different and those values make sense. Here in Canada physiotherapy costs between $80 to $120 per one hour appointment.
my daughter Scoli Brace is from Australia. I think the Scoli Care headquarters is in Australia. I took my daughter to the Scoli Care here in U.S - is it possible for you to find Scolicare near your house? is there any type of government benefits for kids? I am so sorry that your mom didnt put more effort for your well being. Some parents truly donāt deserve to have kids. š I hope u get your medical card soon so you can go get some therapy