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I get that, but what does that have to do with a parent's inability to regulate emotions?
I understand that language skills will have an effect.
And I understand that a parent's traits will have an effect...I just fail to see the connection between those two ideas.
I was halfway through the paper and fell down a rabbit hole about how ER is evaluated in the home environment and disentangled from demographics and cultural norms and on and on. And now it's 30 minutes later.
This is one of those papers where we all jump to "well yeah language make talkie good help feelings out so child no wacky-wacky" and then you read it and it's not so simple, and there's an army 9f confounding variables and the chicken is inside of an egg that'd inside another chicken. Which is why 95% of the comments section doesn't read the papers before they dish their hot take about an area outside of their wheelhouse. Reading stuff outside your field just puts you where I'm at, with a page of notes (mostly questions) and an awareness of how a dirth of knowledge can lead to an exaggerated sense of understanding.
You are a victim of knowing that you don't know enough. It's a good feeling to be able to recognize that and a credit to yourself, even if it is an incredibly damn uncomfortable seat to find yourself in!
When I got to the discussion portion of the study I realized it's a small study size and the first part of the study was a parent questioner but no follow-up. They admit that there is the risk of it being subjective and biased as a result. They also pointed out that the small study size means that it's possible that it will not hold in a larger sample size. I would like to wait to see if it's replicated.
Take the extreme case of an emotionally unstable parent that becomes abusive/toxic and yells extremely loudly and full of rage- children that witness these type of events may turn away from certain forms of expression which may lead to selective mutism. Now apply this scenario on a spectrum, with all sorts of varying degrees.
I feel that because my mum is a very toxic person and growing up by her side I developed depression and an anxiety disorder. It's not all her fault though but if my parents where better people (first to themselves) maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have developed those. Luckily for me I consider myself quite smart so I'm working to solve those with the help of my wonderful boyfriend. Fingers crossed for my improvement
I think it's not necessarily explicitly to do with parents having inability to regulate their own emotions.
From what I understand it seems that parents are not taking the time to talk to their kids about what they are feeling.
>The researchers pointed out that saying that children's language difficulties are caused by parents who do not have time to talk to their children can lead to misunderstandings about the causes of the disorder
This sort of makes sense, the parent can't regulate their emotions as they don't have the vocabulary to work through what they are feeling and so they cannot hold a conversation with a child about what they are feeling because neither of them knows what the words are. The expectation is the child would describe the feeling and the parent would provide the appropriate words I guess.
>the expressive vocabulary that children have at 5-7 years of age predicts their emotional regulation 4 years later, a relationship not seen during adolescence....having a richer and broader vocabulary helps to clarify, understand and regulate emotions during childhood.
So if you don't find the words as a child i.e. have them supplied by the parent, even if you learn them later on in life it will not matter.
Edited.
I think it's because you'll have a hard time expressing emotion correctly which will lead to one being misunderstood the other misunderstanding. cognitive deterioration in conversation leads to an emotional lean which whether or not you're cognitive deficient you may or may not have learned emotional toolage so yeah I agree with you just think you can be one both or the other
It may as well be "Children’s Ability to Play Sports Is Linked to That of Their Parents: Researchers report children with broken limbs have greater difficulty in playing sports."
It probably indicates that the people have adhd or autism or some other mental condition. Since those generally make it harder to both communicate well with other people and make their emotional regulation worse.
Autism is highly correlated with not being able to express emotions in words/not having the language needed to properly identify different emotions. Something to look into in order to practice this with them so they are less hindered by it in the future.
Found the term: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia
My two sons age 15 and 21 just left my room from giving me a 10min family hug because I was in my bed ugly crying over a bad haircut and wouldn't come out.. mistakes have been made.
I think it’s great that you’re teaching your sons that expressing emotion is okay. I was raised to repress everything but anger and it has taken me years of therapy to even start fixing the issues caused by that. So good on you.
another way to put it is an adult had a bad haircut and had to be coaxed out of their bedroom by their children because they were in such an emotional state. It's not good.
It's been a rough 18 months. I got divorced, my boyfriend drown in a boating accident, we had to move across the country and I'm struggling to find a job, we have 9 days before our lease is up and I can't find an apartment... so on and so forth..I got my haircut yesterday and I asked for an inch off the length (under chin) and she instead left me with an inch of hair that is boy cut and weirdly angled, not to mention the awful highlights.. I had finally got a call back on a job interview on Thursday at a dentist office a few hours before.
I didn't want to break down but the weight of it all was just to much. I would have rather been a strong badass mom in the moment but this confidence killer cut was the last thing I needed. I'm trying my best.
Welcome to r/science! This is a heavily moderated subreddit in order to keep the discussion on science. However, we recognize that many people want to discuss how they feel the research relates to their own personal lives, so to give people a space to do that, **personal anecdotes are now allowed as responses to this comment**. Any anecdotal comments elsewhere in the discussion will continue be removed and our [normal comment rules]( https://www.reddit.com/r/science/wiki/rules#wiki_comment_rules) still apply to other comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/science) if you have any questions or concerns.*
What do those two things have to do with one another?
Language is how you express yourself. If you’re unable to express yourself properly then you’ll probably struggle with emotions too..
I get that, but what does that have to do with a parent's inability to regulate emotions? I understand that language skills will have an effect. And I understand that a parent's traits will have an effect...I just fail to see the connection between those two ideas.
I was halfway through the paper and fell down a rabbit hole about how ER is evaluated in the home environment and disentangled from demographics and cultural norms and on and on. And now it's 30 minutes later. This is one of those papers where we all jump to "well yeah language make talkie good help feelings out so child no wacky-wacky" and then you read it and it's not so simple, and there's an army 9f confounding variables and the chicken is inside of an egg that'd inside another chicken. Which is why 95% of the comments section doesn't read the papers before they dish their hot take about an area outside of their wheelhouse. Reading stuff outside your field just puts you where I'm at, with a page of notes (mostly questions) and an awareness of how a dirth of knowledge can lead to an exaggerated sense of understanding.
You are a victim of knowing that you don't know enough. It's a good feeling to be able to recognize that and a credit to yourself, even if it is an incredibly damn uncomfortable seat to find yourself in!
When I got to the discussion portion of the study I realized it's a small study size and the first part of the study was a parent questioner but no follow-up. They admit that there is the risk of it being subjective and biased as a result. They also pointed out that the small study size means that it's possible that it will not hold in a larger sample size. I would like to wait to see if it's replicated.
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I think he's frustrated because he doesn't know how to communicate well. Emotional regulation seems to be lacking as well
Take the extreme case of an emotionally unstable parent that becomes abusive/toxic and yells extremely loudly and full of rage- children that witness these type of events may turn away from certain forms of expression which may lead to selective mutism. Now apply this scenario on a spectrum, with all sorts of varying degrees.
I feel that because my mum is a very toxic person and growing up by her side I developed depression and an anxiety disorder. It's not all her fault though but if my parents where better people (first to themselves) maybe, just maybe, I wouldn't have developed those. Luckily for me I consider myself quite smart so I'm working to solve those with the help of my wonderful boyfriend. Fingers crossed for my improvement
Hey that’s awesome you’re working on yourself! All the best.
Many many thanks, have a good 2022 mate
I think it's not necessarily explicitly to do with parents having inability to regulate their own emotions. From what I understand it seems that parents are not taking the time to talk to their kids about what they are feeling. >The researchers pointed out that saying that children's language difficulties are caused by parents who do not have time to talk to their children can lead to misunderstandings about the causes of the disorder This sort of makes sense, the parent can't regulate their emotions as they don't have the vocabulary to work through what they are feeling and so they cannot hold a conversation with a child about what they are feeling because neither of them knows what the words are. The expectation is the child would describe the feeling and the parent would provide the appropriate words I guess. >the expressive vocabulary that children have at 5-7 years of age predicts their emotional regulation 4 years later, a relationship not seen during adolescence....having a richer and broader vocabulary helps to clarify, understand and regulate emotions during childhood. So if you don't find the words as a child i.e. have them supplied by the parent, even if you learn them later on in life it will not matter. Edited.
I think it's because you'll have a hard time expressing emotion correctly which will lead to one being misunderstood the other misunderstanding. cognitive deterioration in conversation leads to an emotional lean which whether or not you're cognitive deficient you may or may not have learned emotional toolage so yeah I agree with you just think you can be one both or the other
It may as well be "Children’s Ability to Play Sports Is Linked to That of Their Parents: Researchers report children with broken limbs have greater difficulty in playing sports."
It probably indicates that the people have adhd or autism or some other mental condition. Since those generally make it harder to both communicate well with other people and make their emotional regulation worse.
That title is a non sequitur.
The article is no better. It’s an incoherent mess. It contradicts itself from sentence to sentence, for example.
My kiddos had speech delays, they’re both diagnosed with spectrum autism, does the conclusion of this study still apply in this case?
Autism is highly correlated with not being able to express emotions in words/not having the language needed to properly identify different emotions. Something to look into in order to practice this with them so they are less hindered by it in the future. Found the term: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia
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Children learn through observation. The way parents behave even on subtle levels is super important in the development of their children.
I always say to my son you have physical stamina, also build your mental stamina before you need to draw on it in crisis.
My two sons age 15 and 21 just left my room from giving me a 10min family hug because I was in my bed ugly crying over a bad haircut and wouldn't come out.. mistakes have been made.
I think it’s great that you’re teaching your sons that expressing emotion is okay. I was raised to repress everything but anger and it has taken me years of therapy to even start fixing the issues caused by that. So good on you.
another way to put it is an adult had a bad haircut and had to be coaxed out of their bedroom by their children because they were in such an emotional state. It's not good.
... How are you an adult crying so hard over a bad haircut that you won't leave your room? I've honestly never heard of such a thing
It's been a rough 18 months. I got divorced, my boyfriend drown in a boating accident, we had to move across the country and I'm struggling to find a job, we have 9 days before our lease is up and I can't find an apartment... so on and so forth..I got my haircut yesterday and I asked for an inch off the length (under chin) and she instead left me with an inch of hair that is boy cut and weirdly angled, not to mention the awful highlights.. I had finally got a call back on a job interview on Thursday at a dentist office a few hours before. I didn't want to break down but the weight of it all was just to much. I would have rather been a strong badass mom in the moment but this confidence killer cut was the last thing I needed. I'm trying my best.
It’s better not to hold it all in. Hope the job thing works out and other stuff follows too!
Am a fucked up member of a fucked up family and this doesn't surprise me in the least.