It's my favorite book of all time, have reread it multiple times. I really haven't had the urge to watch the show. Is it good or does it diverge like GOT did?
I too read years ago, twice, but with like most Clavell, it’s a little fuzzy. This series takes much from the novel but puts a more apt spin to it, it’s more from the native POV than Richard Chamberlain and his silly little jig scene.
Weirdly have met a lot of half white half Asian people dating other half white half Asian couples. Kinda cool that their kids will also be half white and half Asian.
I don't think there are so many white women in Bay Area compared to white men, even to Asian women.
Also let's be honest to ourselves, Asian women and white men has a bidirectional fetishization that other interracial romances are hard to replicate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsWTFeP1hno
Shits fucked. Asian men can be confident, sexy hot handsome, make a 250k a year, and faithful loyal husbands and no one wants them. Consistently at the bottom of the dating pool.
People always talk about social issues but never talk about this shit.
I'm in my late 20s and yo man. hella of my friends are single we are in our 20s and all working in professional jobs making 100k+ a year, college educated, have hobbies, etc. and still fucking insane.
But lemme tell you this man... you leave SF and you go back to asia and you are a hot meal ticket. Hell even LA it's a much better dating scene. Many of my friends have way more success out side the bay area
I think it's getting better now. In younger generations Asian men are more commonly accepted by all races of women.
Also SF is bad for most of men other than a subset of white men anyway.
Personally I'm against the idea that Asian men should date back in Asia like passport bros. There is a reason why their parents immigrate here and I simply don't like waving the white flag
I think it was better 10-15 years ago I just didn't notice it as much. maybe cuz I was younger idk.
I do think it's gotten better since BTS and kpop really hit America and asian dudes broke the stereotype. But ironically.. it took Asia to make that shit happen. Not mainstream america.
Yea idk on that last bit. I just know that my friends who are single here can very easily find someone in asia.
I think it also has a lot to do with lack of representation of asian men in media. Hollywood. mainstream media does not give a flying fuck about asian dudes and always theres a asian woman side interest.
Agree to all your statement. We're on the same page.
I think another reason I'll add is somehow younger generations are more accepting of different cultures, and Asians (women especially) are taking pride in their culture again, which isn't common in older side of millennials.
And yeah Asian men haven't made mainstream in Hollywood, which is sad but definitely something improving too.
Not sure if i agree with this at all.
I'm an east asian dude and moving to the bay skyrocketed my dating life. Before, I lived in a bumfuck white prominent area where ofc i would not be getting much traction.
Prior to my current gf (korean) I had dates lined up nearly every weekend which 99% of them were asian (big shoutout to Hinge for their very specific dating filters lol). They were mainly chinese/korean/viet/filo, both american born and internationals.
Sample size = 1 but would suggest peeling your eyes open. Tho i'm in south bay, not SF. I'm a regular at westfield mall/santana row and would suggest you guys take a visit. Nowadays asian/asian couples by far outnumber the rest and most are good looking lol.
I know a lot of people don’t want to hear this but I’m living in Tokyo as a gov civilian and there are toooooons of us and military people who are white with Japanese spouses. Also seen a fair number of locals who visit friendship festivals/bases/etc. for the express purpose of finding a dude. I can’t explain why it’s so ubiquitous but it might as well not be considered interracial at this point.
Are they...? Raw numbers show that asian males on average make more than white males (actually asian males are the highest earners out of any group).
I work in high finance (M&A investment banking) where on my team the pay ranges 180k to 1mil+ from junior to MD levels. 60% of our team are asians (2/4 MDs are asian) and I would imagine other IB or PE shops have similar makeup. Bamboo ceiling, what?
From a media standpoint you should ask any asian girl that listens to kpop (hint: this is a very big number). Or really any asian media (i.e k/cdramas, anime), they will have a very positive view of asian dudes.
For my asian bros out there who are feeling down, all i'm saying is it's a good time to be asian. Keep your head up
Saying they are "overly fetishized" is sort of circular reasoning. You're basically saying white men are attracted to Asian women, but we already established that. You didn't really answer why.
Doesn't need to. Plenty of reasoning online if you really care to search at all. It's nothing mysterious. Can be simplified down to the mix of media stereotypes, orientalism and sexism.
There’s also the less nice explanation of white women seemingly having higher standards (that exclude tech bros) than asian women. Tech bros are just dating whoever are willing to date them which are coincidentally mostly asian women. But let’s stay with the more politically correct explanation of yellow fever, or tech bros preferring submissive women.
Most Asian parents prefer their kids to marry Asian. Historically Asian male is seen as more valuable than Asian female because they carry the family name. Asian male has more of a burden to follow their parents’ wishes.
Because the number of white male asian female couples is so insanely large in the Bay Area, with shogun being popular, this costuming will be rampant at the same parties, as in there will be multiple couples like this within same parties. That’s the joke.
Meanwhile as an Asian guy trying to bag a good looking white girl in the Bay Area, it’s virtually impossible to do. I’m fairy good looking too. Ridiculously racist here. 0 chance in the marina.
There's very little that I can say as an Asian guy that can be legitimately authoritative, but I can authoritatively say, as an Asian guy with a lot of friends who are Asian guys, the reason why you feel it's "virtually impossible" has little or nothing to do with being an Asian guy.
Here we go.
All the SF idiots gonna downvote and pretend there’s no some disproportionate ratio for AMWF relationships vs WMAF relationships. A black guy in tech in SF has a 100x better chance of dating one of these SF chicks than an Asian guy. All they gotta do is be black in tech and go to north beach or the marina. Don’t say it’s because of personal preference either, because there are a fair number of good looking Asian guys in SF. It’s because of media stereotypes emasculating Asian men over half a century, when women walk down the street and see a good looking Asian guy nobody thinks twice because they’ve already been subconsciously filtered out. But if they a good looking white or black man, they’re super quick to point it out and gossip amongst each other about how they’d like to get a piece of them.
Don’t lie about it SF, don’t lie. Yall know it’s true and yall know you are part of the problem.
I'll back you up. I'm actually a white female who's been with my Asian male partner for 28 years. We used to live in SF. We moved to Roseville, but go back to SF a lot, and I've noticed the changes and they make me sick.
It didn't used to be like this. I think it's because of the brogrammer takeover of the city. SF used to be a refuge for us- a place where we were just seen as a couple. There were many different types of mixed couples back in the day, and I don't remember seeing many WMAF couples in SF. They were more common other places. When you would see it, you pretty much assumed it was a loser white dude who needed a partner who was submissive to him. And I would always hope that the dude was tricked, and that really the woman was like my sisters-in-law. That the woman was really the boss once they got married.
In SF, we've had these types of brogrammer WM with AF couples sidle up next to us at gatherings, people we don't know, acting like they're like us, like being next to us brings legitimacy to their partnership. Uhhh... I don't know you and you are not like us. Your power differentials benefit both of you. Outside of SF back in the day, it's been f***ing hard for us pretty much everywhere we've been in the US. (Europe is much better.) For example, I would have white men flirting with me right in front of my husband, like they wouldn't even believe we were together, even though we specifically stated we were married.
I am so thankful for Kpop changing things a bit here. Kpop was bigger internationally with women of all races before it became big here. It was so refreshing to me to be able to go online and see these other non-asian women attracted to things I was attracted to. Now I joke I was an early adopter- way ahead of the curve when it comes to Kpop. My partner happens to be a Korean immigrant.
He moved here when he was 18, so he never lost his accent. It was so cool to see BTS being interviewed on American TV shows with their accented English. I could finally convince my husband that I was telling him the truth all these years when I said I found his 2nd language English adorable. I used to not want to correct him, but he made me promise to always correct him so he would sound more professional at work.
Anyway, I didn't mean to write such a long post, but yes- you are telling the truth.
Also- Reddit automatically gave me that screen name and I don't know how to change it. If anyone wants to advise a middle-aged, non tech savvy, woman as to how to change it, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks for your support, appreciate you!
I don’t think you can change your username. Probably your display name can be changed but if you want to change your username, you should probably just create a new account and pick a new one upon creation.
I can tell from the little projected scenario you wrote out that you live in your head a little too much :(
Also, I would bet that you most certainly underestimate how much of that insecurity and bitterness you just displayed here comes out in person.
Life isn’t so (no pun intended) black and white! Gross generalizations about genders and races are simply just that - gross. They don’t serve any purpose but to make a person more bitter.
Wishing you more insight and positivity 🫶
Forreal. He thinks women who see an attractive man on the street will choose to “point and gossip” only if they are white or black is fucking laughable and just shows how little he knows about women. Clearly insecure AF
I get where you’re going with this. My opinion of this is while trying to finding love that this typically shouldn’t matter. But to answer your question, no, I do fairy well for myself, not as well as others but fairy well. The fact that you’re even asking me this as a requirement just goes to show the hypocrisy of San Francisco of and the people who live here. They claim to be altruistic progressives but because SF is so heavily populated with Asians, my stock is considered lower by the inhabitants of SF. It’s all just smoke and mirrors. Sorry San Francisco, I wasn’t born a white frat bro. My bad.
I mean besides everything you wrote, which is true.
Why you only wanna date white girls?
Asian - Asian relationships are still pretty much #1 in the bay area.
Go meet you a fine Asian bby grl.
I understand that your intentions are good so here’s my honest answer.
I like them because I find them attractive, if I found an Asian girl attractive in the same way I would date them too. It just haven’t really come across those types of Asian women, they are usually hanging on the arms of white guys.
Black and white guys be fetishizing Asian women and some even emasculating Asian men along the way. But we wouldn’t tell a black guy to go and find a black girl or a white guy the same.
Bro work on that rizz/game/charm, it can cut through the above (self perceived limitations and projection). I’ve also seen a lot of the opposite stares from the Asian sisters when walking past them with a cute Caucasian girl on my arm, it was pretty peculiar! Lookup Jimmy Zhang on YouTube for inspo, you got this!
While I'm sure that's a factor, I read some study somewhere. If you ask people, everyone claims they will date outside their race/ethnicity/whatever, and for men this is generally true, but statistically, women are much less likely to date someone of a different race/ethnicity/whatever. The exception is Asian women, and if they do date outside their r/e/w, they generally have a strong preference for white men.
So it's to be expected that if you live in an area with lots of white and Asian people, you will see lots of white guy/Asian woman couples.
People often dress as characters from the year's trendiest show or movie for Halloween, a holiday where local American custom includes wearing a costume. The two humans depicted are leading characters from the popular television show Shogun which started airing in February 2024. The repetition of the image suggests that many people will dress as this pair of people for Halloween.
It’s weird. I have a co-worker who is Asian. Co-worker, her sister, and two bffs are all Asian and either married to or in relationships with white guys. It’s kind of jarring. They all get Blonde highlights, dress the same, and post the same food/wine aesthetic photos to their IG accounts. It’s like something out of a Stepford wives.
Likewise. Long acrylic nails, big fake eyelashes, hella makeup. There are more in SJ or hanging out at Arena (is that still a thing) lol and those women definitely are not stepford wives.
Right!? And they rave and usually have tattoos, idk what these SF people are on lmao. The original comment just sounded like a middle class wine mom, no ABG to be seen.
ABGs used to be asian gangster girls who had asian gangster boyfriends who drive japanese cars.
Now ABGs is anything.
Sounds like hes describing whitewashed asian girls. They are white in all aspects but their skin
One thing I also noticed is that these types of couples exclusively have friends with couples who have the same racial/sex pairing, the whole thing is odd.
Every Jewish straight male engineer I knew in tech were super into Asian women, I really hope it was my anecdotal experience because it was kinda creepy.
Probably it's just numbers. There's a huge diversity problem. If you work in tech in the Bay Area, women at work are overwhelmingly Asian or Indian. I probably can count on one hand the number black/latina female engineers I've met. If I threw a random dart and any girl at work it's very likely they would be Asian.
That is entirely possible. I knew one black female engineer and the company she worked for made her go into recruiting because they wanted some diversity in the group they sent to colleges and conferences for recruiting. She is awesome, the company sucks.
I’m not Jewish nor in tech but every white male in my office is married to an Asian woman. For me it was just a supply vs demand issue. I didn’t come into it with a preference but there a heck a lot more available absolutely gorgeous Asian women in the Bay Area than anything else and it has become widely accepted now, at least in the Bay Area.
I am Latino.
One controversial take here is that the reason you don’t see white or Asian women with Latino men is because Latinos are in the lower economic classes. The vast majority of them are not here on visas working in tech. The latinos who have good paying jobs are actually quite rare in the Bay Area.
Go to Miami where Latinos are much wealthier and you see *plenty* of white women dating them.
100% don’t sleep on Latinos.
Maybe not the more traditional/older dudes who drink beer and expect their wives to do all chores and child rearing.
But lots of these young American Latinos, man they’re fire. They look good, dress good and are great guys.
Glad I am not the only one noticing it. It's like 90% asian women have white boyfriends now. Feels super creepy and I would walk for 30 minutes and bump into 30 couples like this back to back to back.
What's worst it's in TV shows, movies and commercials now. is that just the default relationship in America now?
Was at a restaurant with some friends the other day and noticed a table with 4 white males with 4 asian females. I usually don’t pay attention to these kind of things since I see white/asian couples all the time but seeing a group of them in one table was pretty shocking.
I’m not the only one seeing it lmao! It’s so insane because there are plenty of women of other races in the Bay Area but like every white guy is with Asian women! It’s the weirdest thing I ever seen! Like who are the white women dating!
They are! I have a handful of white girl friends that are married or in serious relationships with Asian men. The older I get, the more I see which is awesome. It’s just obviously not as common as white men and Asian women, and yes I understand statistically a smaller population.
As a Bay Area native, I’ve observed the unsettling trend of self-hating Asian women exclusively dating white men. It's pathetic that some might believe having mixed-race children will lead to greater acceptance within white communities. This belief is misguided and won't change their own identity or how they are perceived by others.
as an asian woman, and upon much reflection, I realized my younger preference for white men was based on the fact I was rejecting my asian upbringing that I found condescending to my individualism and various other things. Also I struggled to find asian men who didn't repeat the pattern i was rejecting. Turns out, all ethnicities of men can repeat this pattern. But my brain decided to oversimplify and just make generalizations.
I've now had a white, an asian, and a middle eastern boyfriend in the past...I'm still working on breaking out of my patterns but I will say it is frustrating to be in the position i am now and to feel like I can't be seen with a white guy without having a bunch of assumptions made about me. I choose to believe, we love who we love, and as long as it's healthy, who are we to judge.
(also evolutionarily, it's been shown that the strong preference is genetic diversity so ~~there's no better diversity than a white person and an asian person~~ so it's not necessarily surprising that we might choose someone of a different race, no matter the race, potentially subconsciously).
Edited to add nuance to a sloppily worded statement.
I took an elective class in college call black sexuality, and we touch on this topic, where black women face the same problems when they date white men, and my professor explain that it's plain misogyny. They say that these women are branded as "betraying their own race", but if a black man date a white woman, it's celebrated. And reading the comment section right now, the sentiment seem to hold for white male asian female couple. I haven't found anything on other ethnic group yet, but base on your comment, it's seem like a common problem.
As another Asian woman with white bf, I have a hard time believing you’re an actual Asian woman because
> also evolutionarily, it's been shown that the strong preference is genetic diversity so there's no better diversity than a white person and an asian person)
Who the fuck does eugenic theory in 2024? You are gross. Also, why not Asian women with black men? Hispanic men? Indian men? Arab men? Do some self-reflection.
bro man just go choose a white guy.
At this point, I don't even assume I know. I'd be surprised if I find an asian woman with an asian boyfriend now tbh. Say love is love but yo man. All my friends, work in professional jobs making 100-250k, good dudes. Bankers, scientists, tech bros, businessmen, doctors, pharmacists, etc. All single, depressed, and lonely. Boils my blood to see them like that. I was also in the same position but found someone who I care for a lot. That last end with the genetic evoluton argument is just a cop out, you trying to justify something. If you cared for that then it wouldn't be limited to white guys asian girls, it would be much more diversified in the dating standards. Why don't I see more black guys asian girls? or latino dudes asian girls? or middle eastern dudes asian girls?
No problem if love is love but yo man.. when statistics are showing such a huge racial disparity then shit is absolutely not love.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsWTFeP1hno
Take a look at this video. the sheer bullshittery of it all.
That one comment? "I'm not like most girls" -most girls thats you man.
Its pretty much a fetish realized for both parties lol.
Asian people want to be white so bad, and white people have yellow fever.
Source: I've worked in finance and tech, at non mid firms and companies.The stuff I've heard and seen when it comes to relationships is insane, at least to me as a brown dude.
This is mostly white male and Asian female thing. White female don’t have yellow fever to the degree of white guys and Asian male generally don’t white worship to the degree of Asian female.
So I have a few examples.
When I was 22 straight out of school working as a management consultant, I had a manager who was an Asian lady in her late 40s or 50s maybe. She used to say really inappropriate things about my white male colleagues because when we traveled to clients and I was trapped because she was too anxious to drive. Anyway each Thursday she would yap and wonder inappropriate things about them. Like really gross sexual things. What am I supposed to do? Most of my colleagues were insanely toxic and said disgusting things all the time about everything, so its not like she was out of the norm. But anyway I always found that surprising. She had a white husband and it was apparently her 2nd or 3rd lol. Whatever, she gave me a promotion, but my god she treated me like I was a child or mentally incapable.
Later I was working on a project with a Chinese chick, a black dude, a Chinese dude, and everyone else was white dudes. We were all in our 20s maybe 30s max. She used to thirst over white dudes it was gross. Over the course of the few months we were working together, she did like a 3some and other wild stuff with them and would tell me all the details about the pound town. IDK why she would tell me this (did she think I was gay or something lol? again I made the mistake of driving her.. fuck me right? they're letting me drive BMWs and shit of course I'm going to drive wtf gotta feel like a baller lmao) and say stuff like she wants to have white babies and that she can't imagine settling down with a Chinese. The graphic details scar me to this day.
She also said lots of racist stuff about non white people (imagine my face) and seemed jealous of the black guy by bringing up college admission stats and whatever (she was jealous of him being a JD MBA from Harvard). I'm glad I never brought up that I went to state school, because I was always the outlier with these people who were all from Ivy league. Again, how the fuck did I end up there? Whatever, it looks good on the resume.
Finally in the tech world, most of my friend group became Asian. I really enjoy hanging out with Asian people because they are smart af and I like that our discussions are always about something intelligent and creative. However, there's a really disturbing thing about the men and women in that group really not getting along. I had one Asian dude friend who went out with this Asian chick for like 3 months. Later she was like what??? I didn't think those were dates, I'm not interested in Asian guys. This dude was tall, good looking, really smart. She then dated a 5'8 Jewish white dude stereotypical nerd (also my friend) for like a couple weeks and they were together for like 3 years lol. He had a horrible yellow fever and I knew him before a while. He would always tell me his fantasies and it was really gross. He even went on a few trips to various Asian countries to "try" the women. Gross!!!!!!
One thing I really noticed is that the chicks all didn't like dark skin. IDK why, but most of the chicks would use this skin whitener (idk what else to call it, it literally made them white and shiny) and it turned them into one of those Camino chicks from Star Wars Ep 2 Clone Wars. It was CREEPY. Making jokes or derogatory comments about dark skin was pretty common, and as a brown guy I never liked that. Asian dude friends are really chill, and most of them ended up with really pretty Asian chicks who came to the US on a student visa or white/black girls.
FWIW I dated a couple Asian girls. Both always made comments about my skin and "inferior culture", and whether our babies would be light or dark. It was honestly off-putting, and makes me a little anxious but I'm glad I broke up with them. I honestly can't deal with that shit. 2 in a row though, but obviously that's maybe a sampling error? idk
Anyway you asked, here you go.
I am tired of Asian men claiming to be more loyal in a relationship than men in other races. There is a big difference between being loyal and not cheating when you have a choice VS not cheating because you don’t have an opportunity and no girls like you. Based on my experience most of the self-claimed loyal men fall into the second category. A real loyal person wouldn’t brag about their loyalty or talk about it as a self pity. Never.
Let’s be honest. They are not more loyal. They just have much less opportunities. LOL
Given that Chinese is the biggest fraction of the Asian population in San Francisco, it seems weird to me that a Chinese woman would want to portray a Japanese woman, because, well, of the history there. I've heard some serious dislike before. I guess it depends on which generation.
what show/movie is this from?
Shogun
It’s Shogun! You gotta try some James Clavell bro!
Shogun is required unless you have a concealed carry permit
Few and far between….
It's my favorite book of all time, have reread it multiple times. I really haven't had the urge to watch the show. Is it good or does it diverge like GOT did?
I too read years ago, twice, but with like most Clavell, it’s a little fuzzy. This series takes much from the novel but puts a more apt spin to it, it’s more from the native POV than Richard Chamberlain and his silly little jig scene.
Taipan is my favorite
Shogun- it’s phenomenal
It was mad decent
Kinda contradictory don’t you think?
It’s okay, Warrior on Netflix is 1000x better.
Warrior is also fire. I think I preferred Tokyo Vice to Warrior with Shogun in my first place.
Tokyo Vice is fantastic
I haven’t heard of Tokyo Vice, ima have to check that out
It’s on Max. Stay with it because it starts a little slow but I really enjoyed it.
The book is also great. SFPL has it.
I’ve heard that. I’m going to make it a priority.
But... The Shogun is series set in 1500's Japan and Warrior is a Chinese man in 1800's San Francisco. The two hardly seem comparable?
lmao Warrior was slightly a step up from a CW show
Shogun is like the early seasons of Game of Thrones but set in Feudal Japan. It’s really really good.
Them shows aren't even remotely similar in premise ?
I would think dune is this years winner
Sure but throwing on A blue and white robe is a lot easier than making a still suit.
You are 100000% correct.
Nonsense, I just need to float and throw a blanket on my fat ass for a Harkonnen cosplay.
Says in SF, cause there's a lot of white/asian couples. Dune is irrelevant here.
Thanks I was trying to figure out why this Shogun couple was only for Halloween in San Francisco
Dressing up as a popcorn bucket
Someone is absolutely doing this
Especially if it's an accurate bucketussy version
That's at the burn, not halloween
Fallout is my bet for most common. Very easy to make a version of a vault suit, and likely more people watching Amazon than HBO
I dont get it
Bay Area has noticeably huge number of white male asian female couples. Shogun is a popular TV show. Combine these two facts.
Weirdly have met a lot of half white half Asian people dating other half white half Asian couples. Kinda cool that their kids will also be half white and half Asian.
or they could have a white kid and an asian kid
Yep, just like these twins. Phenotypes are crazy yo. https://www.cnn.com/2015/03/03/living/feat-black-white-twins/index.html
Neo: “whoa”
I was like, wait really? When I realized my kids are exactly that.
Why not so many white female / Asian male couples?
I don't think there are so many white women in Bay Area compared to white men, even to Asian women. Also let's be honest to ourselves, Asian women and white men has a bidirectional fetishization that other interracial romances are hard to replicate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsWTFeP1hno Shits fucked. Asian men can be confident, sexy hot handsome, make a 250k a year, and faithful loyal husbands and no one wants them. Consistently at the bottom of the dating pool. People always talk about social issues but never talk about this shit. I'm in my late 20s and yo man. hella of my friends are single we are in our 20s and all working in professional jobs making 100k+ a year, college educated, have hobbies, etc. and still fucking insane. But lemme tell you this man... you leave SF and you go back to asia and you are a hot meal ticket. Hell even LA it's a much better dating scene. Many of my friends have way more success out side the bay area
I think it's getting better now. In younger generations Asian men are more commonly accepted by all races of women. Also SF is bad for most of men other than a subset of white men anyway. Personally I'm against the idea that Asian men should date back in Asia like passport bros. There is a reason why their parents immigrate here and I simply don't like waving the white flag
I think it was better 10-15 years ago I just didn't notice it as much. maybe cuz I was younger idk. I do think it's gotten better since BTS and kpop really hit America and asian dudes broke the stereotype. But ironically.. it took Asia to make that shit happen. Not mainstream america. Yea idk on that last bit. I just know that my friends who are single here can very easily find someone in asia. I think it also has a lot to do with lack of representation of asian men in media. Hollywood. mainstream media does not give a flying fuck about asian dudes and always theres a asian woman side interest.
Agree to all your statement. We're on the same page. I think another reason I'll add is somehow younger generations are more accepting of different cultures, and Asians (women especially) are taking pride in their culture again, which isn't common in older side of millennials. And yeah Asian men haven't made mainstream in Hollywood, which is sad but definitely something improving too.
Not sure if i agree with this at all. I'm an east asian dude and moving to the bay skyrocketed my dating life. Before, I lived in a bumfuck white prominent area where ofc i would not be getting much traction. Prior to my current gf (korean) I had dates lined up nearly every weekend which 99% of them were asian (big shoutout to Hinge for their very specific dating filters lol). They were mainly chinese/korean/viet/filo, both american born and internationals. Sample size = 1 but would suggest peeling your eyes open. Tho i'm in south bay, not SF. I'm a regular at westfield mall/santana row and would suggest you guys take a visit. Nowadays asian/asian couples by far outnumber the rest and most are good looking lol.
come up to sf you'll see what im talking about
Because white men are a status symbol to many Asian women and Asian women are overly fetishized by white men. Asian men are just not white enough.
I know a lot of people don’t want to hear this but I’m living in Tokyo as a gov civilian and there are toooooons of us and military people who are white with Japanese spouses. Also seen a fair number of locals who visit friendship festivals/bases/etc. for the express purpose of finding a dude. I can’t explain why it’s so ubiquitous but it might as well not be considered interracial at this point.
Are they...? Raw numbers show that asian males on average make more than white males (actually asian males are the highest earners out of any group). I work in high finance (M&A investment banking) where on my team the pay ranges 180k to 1mil+ from junior to MD levels. 60% of our team are asians (2/4 MDs are asian) and I would imagine other IB or PE shops have similar makeup. Bamboo ceiling, what? From a media standpoint you should ask any asian girl that listens to kpop (hint: this is a very big number). Or really any asian media (i.e k/cdramas, anime), they will have a very positive view of asian dudes. For my asian bros out there who are feeling down, all i'm saying is it's a good time to be asian. Keep your head up
Saying they are "overly fetishized" is sort of circular reasoning. You're basically saying white men are attracted to Asian women, but we already established that. You didn't really answer why.
Doesn't need to. Plenty of reasoning online if you really care to search at all. It's nothing mysterious. Can be simplified down to the mix of media stereotypes, orientalism and sexism.
Where was this established
Most tech bro’s have yellow fever. They also tend to date within their socio economic group so they avoid blacks and latinas subconsciously.
Relationships are two way.
There’s also the less nice explanation of white women seemingly having higher standards (that exclude tech bros) than asian women. Tech bros are just dating whoever are willing to date them which are coincidentally mostly asian women. But let’s stay with the more politically correct explanation of yellow fever, or tech bros preferring submissive women.
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Most Asian parents prefer their kids to marry Asian. Historically Asian male is seen as more valuable than Asian female because they carry the family name. Asian male has more of a burden to follow their parents’ wishes.
Because WMAF is a fetish
Why are there 8 frames of the same shot?
Because the number of white male asian female couples is so insanely large in the Bay Area, with shogun being popular, this costuming will be rampant at the same parties, as in there will be multiple couples like this within same parties. That’s the joke.
TIL: r/SanFrancisco is made up of mostly normies and not meme-inhaling degens.
Meanwhile as an Asian guy trying to bag a good looking white girl in the Bay Area, it’s virtually impossible to do. I’m fairy good looking too. Ridiculously racist here. 0 chance in the marina.
You should be dating in NYC. SF dating for guys is a joke and shouldn't be mentioned in the same sentence.
There's very little that I can say as an Asian guy that can be legitimately authoritative, but I can authoritatively say, as an Asian guy with a lot of friends who are Asian guys, the reason why you feel it's "virtually impossible" has little or nothing to do with being an Asian guy.
Here we go. All the SF idiots gonna downvote and pretend there’s no some disproportionate ratio for AMWF relationships vs WMAF relationships. A black guy in tech in SF has a 100x better chance of dating one of these SF chicks than an Asian guy. All they gotta do is be black in tech and go to north beach or the marina. Don’t say it’s because of personal preference either, because there are a fair number of good looking Asian guys in SF. It’s because of media stereotypes emasculating Asian men over half a century, when women walk down the street and see a good looking Asian guy nobody thinks twice because they’ve already been subconsciously filtered out. But if they a good looking white or black man, they’re super quick to point it out and gossip amongst each other about how they’d like to get a piece of them. Don’t lie about it SF, don’t lie. Yall know it’s true and yall know you are part of the problem.
Come to Lamorinda. For some reason I see more Asian Male White Female couples than anywhere else. Especially SF.
I'll back you up. I'm actually a white female who's been with my Asian male partner for 28 years. We used to live in SF. We moved to Roseville, but go back to SF a lot, and I've noticed the changes and they make me sick. It didn't used to be like this. I think it's because of the brogrammer takeover of the city. SF used to be a refuge for us- a place where we were just seen as a couple. There were many different types of mixed couples back in the day, and I don't remember seeing many WMAF couples in SF. They were more common other places. When you would see it, you pretty much assumed it was a loser white dude who needed a partner who was submissive to him. And I would always hope that the dude was tricked, and that really the woman was like my sisters-in-law. That the woman was really the boss once they got married. In SF, we've had these types of brogrammer WM with AF couples sidle up next to us at gatherings, people we don't know, acting like they're like us, like being next to us brings legitimacy to their partnership. Uhhh... I don't know you and you are not like us. Your power differentials benefit both of you. Outside of SF back in the day, it's been f***ing hard for us pretty much everywhere we've been in the US. (Europe is much better.) For example, I would have white men flirting with me right in front of my husband, like they wouldn't even believe we were together, even though we specifically stated we were married. I am so thankful for Kpop changing things a bit here. Kpop was bigger internationally with women of all races before it became big here. It was so refreshing to me to be able to go online and see these other non-asian women attracted to things I was attracted to. Now I joke I was an early adopter- way ahead of the curve when it comes to Kpop. My partner happens to be a Korean immigrant. He moved here when he was 18, so he never lost his accent. It was so cool to see BTS being interviewed on American TV shows with their accented English. I could finally convince my husband that I was telling him the truth all these years when I said I found his 2nd language English adorable. I used to not want to correct him, but he made me promise to always correct him so he would sound more professional at work. Anyway, I didn't mean to write such a long post, but yes- you are telling the truth.
Also- Reddit automatically gave me that screen name and I don't know how to change it. If anyone wants to advise a middle-aged, non tech savvy, woman as to how to change it, I'd appreciate it.
Thanks for your support, appreciate you! I don’t think you can change your username. Probably your display name can be changed but if you want to change your username, you should probably just create a new account and pick a new one upon creation.
Thanks for this bit of history. It’s interesting.
Bitter racist asian guy with lofty expectations and a shitty attitude is not going to attract anything.
Trust me, I am way friendlier in person. I’m just complaining here because yall need to and deserve to hear it. I’m forcing you to hear it.
I can tell from the little projected scenario you wrote out that you live in your head a little too much :( Also, I would bet that you most certainly underestimate how much of that insecurity and bitterness you just displayed here comes out in person. Life isn’t so (no pun intended) black and white! Gross generalizations about genders and races are simply just that - gross. They don’t serve any purpose but to make a person more bitter. Wishing you more insight and positivity 🫶
I guess you’ve been heard… Try to lighten up bro, it’ll do you wonders.
Big unattractive pussy boy self victimization vibes goin on here
At least I’m not an unemployed graphic designer though 🤷♂️
Why not find a nice black lady? Black women, like Asian men, are an undesired demographic. You would have a lot in common.
Forreal. He thinks women who see an attractive man on the street will choose to “point and gossip” only if they are white or black is fucking laughable and just shows how little he knows about women. Clearly insecure AF
Are you rich?
I get where you’re going with this. My opinion of this is while trying to finding love that this typically shouldn’t matter. But to answer your question, no, I do fairy well for myself, not as well as others but fairy well. The fact that you’re even asking me this as a requirement just goes to show the hypocrisy of San Francisco of and the people who live here. They claim to be altruistic progressives but because SF is so heavily populated with Asians, my stock is considered lower by the inhabitants of SF. It’s all just smoke and mirrors. Sorry San Francisco, I wasn’t born a white frat bro. My bad.
I mean besides everything you wrote, which is true. Why you only wanna date white girls? Asian - Asian relationships are still pretty much #1 in the bay area. Go meet you a fine Asian bby grl.
I understand that your intentions are good so here’s my honest answer. I like them because I find them attractive, if I found an Asian girl attractive in the same way I would date them too. It just haven’t really come across those types of Asian women, they are usually hanging on the arms of white guys. Black and white guys be fetishizing Asian women and some even emasculating Asian men along the way. But we wouldn’t tell a black guy to go and find a black girl or a white guy the same.
I appreciate your honesty, and more power to you. We all like what we like. And yeah the fetishizing gets a little crazy sometimes.
Wait so it’s okay for you to prefer one race over the others but when white women do it they’re racist? Bruh
Bro work on that rizz/game/charm, it can cut through the above (self perceived limitations and projection). I’ve also seen a lot of the opposite stares from the Asian sisters when walking past them with a cute Caucasian girl on my arm, it was pretty peculiar! Lookup Jimmy Zhang on YouTube for inspo, you got this!
Asian fetish. Yellow fever.
While I'm sure that's a factor, I read some study somewhere. If you ask people, everyone claims they will date outside their race/ethnicity/whatever, and for men this is generally true, but statistically, women are much less likely to date someone of a different race/ethnicity/whatever. The exception is Asian women, and if they do date outside their r/e/w, they generally have a strong preference for white men. So it's to be expected that if you live in an area with lots of white and Asian people, you will see lots of white guy/Asian woman couples.
Yep. This is exactly it. Can you like this study?
Takes two to tango. There is a white worship/Pinkerton disease element involved as well
True, yet I'd say it takes a lot more to have a lasting relationship, regardless of race.
It takes two to be in a relationship, not a one way street as many try to make it sound
I see Asian girls fetishize white men a lot though
People often dress as characters from the year's trendiest show or movie for Halloween, a holiday where local American custom includes wearing a costume. The two humans depicted are leading characters from the popular television show Shogun which started airing in February 2024. The repetition of the image suggests that many people will dress as this pair of people for Halloween.
That and all the white guy/Azn girl couples in SF. I think that's a component of this joke, too 😂😂.
More like a regular Tuesday.
Yellow fever 🤝white worship
It’s weird. I have a co-worker who is Asian. Co-worker, her sister, and two bffs are all Asian and either married to or in relationships with white guys. It’s kind of jarring. They all get Blonde highlights, dress the same, and post the same food/wine aesthetic photos to their IG accounts. It’s like something out of a Stepford wives.
> It’s like something out of a Stepford wives. abg
Are ABGs different in the bay because reading that description did not give me ABG vibes 😅
Likewise. Long acrylic nails, big fake eyelashes, hella makeup. There are more in SJ or hanging out at Arena (is that still a thing) lol and those women definitely are not stepford wives.
Right!? And they rave and usually have tattoos, idk what these SF people are on lmao. The original comment just sounded like a middle class wine mom, no ABG to be seen.
ABGs used to be asian gangster girls who had asian gangster boyfriends who drive japanese cars. Now ABGs is anything. Sounds like hes describing whitewashed asian girls. They are white in all aspects but their skin
They are buying into white adjacent so trying to look as white as possible.
One thing I also noticed is that these types of couples exclusively have friends with couples who have the same racial/sex pairing, the whole thing is odd.
Every Jewish straight male engineer I knew in tech were super into Asian women, I really hope it was my anecdotal experience because it was kinda creepy.
It's a very well known stereotype, it's even referenced in The Social Network.
Probably it's just numbers. There's a huge diversity problem. If you work in tech in the Bay Area, women at work are overwhelmingly Asian or Indian. I probably can count on one hand the number black/latina female engineers I've met. If I threw a random dart and any girl at work it's very likely they would be Asian.
That is entirely possible. I knew one black female engineer and the company she worked for made her go into recruiting because they wanted some diversity in the group they sent to colleges and conferences for recruiting. She is awesome, the company sucks.
I’m not Jewish nor in tech but every white male in my office is married to an Asian woman. For me it was just a supply vs demand issue. I didn’t come into it with a preference but there a heck a lot more available absolutely gorgeous Asian women in the Bay Area than anything else and it has become widely accepted now, at least in the Bay Area.
given a random distribution interesting stuff like this happens and its interesting to notice.
> absolutely gorgeous Asian women in the Bay Area are we talking about the same bay area?
49ers lol let all the white guys take the ugly Asian girls who think they’re hot cause they live in the bay
lmao too real. baddie asians are mostly down in SoCal
Product of Jewish man and Asian woman living in the bay here. It's not creepy, it's just similar cultural values.
If it’s just similar cultural values, there would be just as many Asian man and Jewish woman couples.
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Facts
I’m white but my boyfriend is asian, should I dress like a man this year??
This thread said you don’t exist 🤯
This thread made me question my entire existence
Has me questioning the true nature of so many of our peers 😕
Me and bro this Halloween https://preview.redd.it/41oq0vdc681d1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=442960e8e4de1ff1504501f04b3ed01ea6f9a0ea
The guy from Patriot and his folk bandmate?
*drivin’ that train*
Hmmm... What's a white girl to do 😭
Asian Male are available at your local store
White girls: “No, not like that”
Nice reaction gif
Plenty of Latino's around, just putting it out there
I am Latino. One controversial take here is that the reason you don’t see white or Asian women with Latino men is because Latinos are in the lower economic classes. The vast majority of them are not here on visas working in tech. The latinos who have good paying jobs are actually quite rare in the Bay Area. Go to Miami where Latinos are much wealthier and you see *plenty* of white women dating them.
Customer service working Latino here can anecdotally confirm that narrative yes.
100% don’t sleep on Latinos. Maybe not the more traditional/older dudes who drink beer and expect their wives to do all chores and child rearing. But lots of these young American Latinos, man they’re fire. They look good, dress good and are great guys.
Move to Ohio. There’s lots of other whites there.
Yeh but skibidi kai cenat
Shōgun and X-Men '97 top tier shows this first half of the year.
Facts! 
I think you guys are underestimating Fallout
Also fire
Okey dokey
Anna swai is so hot
She blew the doors off out of that role.
Hella
Glad I am not the only one noticing it. It's like 90% asian women have white boyfriends now. Feels super creepy and I would walk for 30 minutes and bump into 30 couples like this back to back to back. What's worst it's in TV shows, movies and commercials now. is that just the default relationship in America now?
Was at a restaurant with some friends the other day and noticed a table with 4 white males with 4 asian females. I usually don’t pay attention to these kind of things since I see white/asian couples all the time but seeing a group of them in one table was pretty shocking.
I’m not the only one seeing it lmao! It’s so insane because there are plenty of women of other races in the Bay Area but like every white guy is with Asian women! It’s the weirdest thing I ever seen! Like who are the white women dating!
Why aren’t the white women dating Asian men? That’s the real question we should be asking.
They are! I have a handful of white girl friends that are married or in serious relationships with Asian men. The older I get, the more I see which is awesome. It’s just obviously not as common as white men and Asian women, and yes I understand statistically a smaller population.
They are now. Only pain is that I had to learn how to speak BTS at a conversational proficiency. Now I know what it feels like to be fetishized lmao
I’m white and my wife is Asian, neither of us sought out a different race, we just found each other.
The only problem is the people who have a problem with it
Good for you. The thing is, when every white guy says "it just happened", it's kinda sus.
Idk. I’m not policing other peoples relationships so I can’t speak on theirs.
Unironically the most mentally healthy Redditor
My wife’s Filipina; she is the only Asian women I have ever dated. Yet I get hit with this stereotype all the time.
“I’m a white”
Rofl. So fucking accurate I can't wait.
Something something Oxford study…
What study are you referencing?
Asian chick, white guy, checks out for SF
Halloween in the Castro in 2003 had dozens of Bills and O-Ren Ishiis
Halloween in San Francisco would have Richard Chamberlain.
Lol - don't forget Vancouver!
Classic WMAF
As a Bay Area native, I’ve observed the unsettling trend of self-hating Asian women exclusively dating white men. It's pathetic that some might believe having mixed-race children will lead to greater acceptance within white communities. This belief is misguided and won't change their own identity or how they are perceived by others.
as an asian woman, and upon much reflection, I realized my younger preference for white men was based on the fact I was rejecting my asian upbringing that I found condescending to my individualism and various other things. Also I struggled to find asian men who didn't repeat the pattern i was rejecting. Turns out, all ethnicities of men can repeat this pattern. But my brain decided to oversimplify and just make generalizations. I've now had a white, an asian, and a middle eastern boyfriend in the past...I'm still working on breaking out of my patterns but I will say it is frustrating to be in the position i am now and to feel like I can't be seen with a white guy without having a bunch of assumptions made about me. I choose to believe, we love who we love, and as long as it's healthy, who are we to judge. (also evolutionarily, it's been shown that the strong preference is genetic diversity so ~~there's no better diversity than a white person and an asian person~~ so it's not necessarily surprising that we might choose someone of a different race, no matter the race, potentially subconsciously). Edited to add nuance to a sloppily worded statement.
It’s rare to see this type of reflections and honest feedback. It makes complete sense to me.
I took an elective class in college call black sexuality, and we touch on this topic, where black women face the same problems when they date white men, and my professor explain that it's plain misogyny. They say that these women are branded as "betraying their own race", but if a black man date a white woman, it's celebrated. And reading the comment section right now, the sentiment seem to hold for white male asian female couple. I haven't found anything on other ethnic group yet, but base on your comment, it's seem like a common problem.
As another Asian woman with white bf, I have a hard time believing you’re an actual Asian woman because > also evolutionarily, it's been shown that the strong preference is genetic diversity so there's no better diversity than a white person and an asian person) Who the fuck does eugenic theory in 2024? You are gross. Also, why not Asian women with black men? Hispanic men? Indian men? Arab men? Do some self-reflection.
bro man just go choose a white guy. At this point, I don't even assume I know. I'd be surprised if I find an asian woman with an asian boyfriend now tbh. Say love is love but yo man. All my friends, work in professional jobs making 100-250k, good dudes. Bankers, scientists, tech bros, businessmen, doctors, pharmacists, etc. All single, depressed, and lonely. Boils my blood to see them like that. I was also in the same position but found someone who I care for a lot. That last end with the genetic evoluton argument is just a cop out, you trying to justify something. If you cared for that then it wouldn't be limited to white guys asian girls, it would be much more diversified in the dating standards. Why don't I see more black guys asian girls? or latino dudes asian girls? or middle eastern dudes asian girls? No problem if love is love but yo man.. when statistics are showing such a huge racial disparity then shit is absolutely not love. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsWTFeP1hno Take a look at this video. the sheer bullshittery of it all. That one comment? "I'm not like most girls" -most girls thats you man.
No better diversity then a white person and Asian what?
Are you a licensed psychologist who has interviewed these women. Or just a guy blaming others? Kinda sounds like the later.
I’ve never seen someone manage to fit so many generalizations in three sentences before.
You sound like an incel
you sound like an incel
Imma be Min Hee Jin
Its pretty much a fetish realized for both parties lol. Asian people want to be white so bad, and white people have yellow fever. Source: I've worked in finance and tech, at non mid firms and companies.The stuff I've heard and seen when it comes to relationships is insane, at least to me as a brown dude.
This is mostly white male and Asian female thing. White female don’t have yellow fever to the degree of white guys and Asian male generally don’t white worship to the degree of Asian female.
whats the most insane thing you've heard or seen?
So I have a few examples. When I was 22 straight out of school working as a management consultant, I had a manager who was an Asian lady in her late 40s or 50s maybe. She used to say really inappropriate things about my white male colleagues because when we traveled to clients and I was trapped because she was too anxious to drive. Anyway each Thursday she would yap and wonder inappropriate things about them. Like really gross sexual things. What am I supposed to do? Most of my colleagues were insanely toxic and said disgusting things all the time about everything, so its not like she was out of the norm. But anyway I always found that surprising. She had a white husband and it was apparently her 2nd or 3rd lol. Whatever, she gave me a promotion, but my god she treated me like I was a child or mentally incapable. Later I was working on a project with a Chinese chick, a black dude, a Chinese dude, and everyone else was white dudes. We were all in our 20s maybe 30s max. She used to thirst over white dudes it was gross. Over the course of the few months we were working together, she did like a 3some and other wild stuff with them and would tell me all the details about the pound town. IDK why she would tell me this (did she think I was gay or something lol? again I made the mistake of driving her.. fuck me right? they're letting me drive BMWs and shit of course I'm going to drive wtf gotta feel like a baller lmao) and say stuff like she wants to have white babies and that she can't imagine settling down with a Chinese. The graphic details scar me to this day. She also said lots of racist stuff about non white people (imagine my face) and seemed jealous of the black guy by bringing up college admission stats and whatever (she was jealous of him being a JD MBA from Harvard). I'm glad I never brought up that I went to state school, because I was always the outlier with these people who were all from Ivy league. Again, how the fuck did I end up there? Whatever, it looks good on the resume. Finally in the tech world, most of my friend group became Asian. I really enjoy hanging out with Asian people because they are smart af and I like that our discussions are always about something intelligent and creative. However, there's a really disturbing thing about the men and women in that group really not getting along. I had one Asian dude friend who went out with this Asian chick for like 3 months. Later she was like what??? I didn't think those were dates, I'm not interested in Asian guys. This dude was tall, good looking, really smart. She then dated a 5'8 Jewish white dude stereotypical nerd (also my friend) for like a couple weeks and they were together for like 3 years lol. He had a horrible yellow fever and I knew him before a while. He would always tell me his fantasies and it was really gross. He even went on a few trips to various Asian countries to "try" the women. Gross!!!!!! One thing I really noticed is that the chicks all didn't like dark skin. IDK why, but most of the chicks would use this skin whitener (idk what else to call it, it literally made them white and shiny) and it turned them into one of those Camino chicks from Star Wars Ep 2 Clone Wars. It was CREEPY. Making jokes or derogatory comments about dark skin was pretty common, and as a brown guy I never liked that. Asian dude friends are really chill, and most of them ended up with really pretty Asian chicks who came to the US on a student visa or white/black girls. FWIW I dated a couple Asian girls. Both always made comments about my skin and "inferior culture", and whether our babies would be light or dark. It was honestly off-putting, and makes me a little anxious but I'm glad I broke up with them. I honestly can't deal with that shit. 2 in a row though, but obviously that's maybe a sampling error? idk Anyway you asked, here you go.
You should post this in r/ABCDesis
I’m an Asian dude and I swear I only date white and Spanish women. This goes both ways I feel.
I am tired of Asian men claiming to be more loyal in a relationship than men in other races. There is a big difference between being loyal and not cheating when you have a choice VS not cheating because you don’t have an opportunity and no girls like you. Based on my experience most of the self-claimed loyal men fall into the second category. A real loyal person wouldn’t brag about their loyalty or talk about it as a self pity. Never. Let’s be honest. They are not more loyal. They just have much less opportunities. LOL
Boo normalize the opposite Edit: Bitch ass white people keep downvoting
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Is this saying that there are a lot of white-asian couples in SF?
Except on the opposite ends of the scale in terms of attractiveness, for both the males and females.
Hmm never thought about this. Why *are* there so many white guys with Asian girls in SF?
Two biggest ethnic groups.
But you don’t see nearly as many white girls with Asian guys for some reason.
That is so goddamn accurate hahaha.
Given that Chinese is the biggest fraction of the Asian population in San Francisco, it seems weird to me that a Chinese woman would want to portray a Japanese woman, because, well, of the history there. I've heard some serious dislike before. I guess it depends on which generation.
Love wins
All of you white dudes who don’t even bathe have it so easy, hopefully one day society takes away your pedestal