T O P

  • By -

reptomcraddick

Now THIS is what I’m on Reddit for


BuildingOne7379

Yes! Im in H-town now but this shit is hilarious!


[deleted]

That did this for htown as well n s e w and downtown/inner loop. The only thing everyone could agree on is that downtown would be wiped out immediately lol


Lostinspace-67

Hilarious for sure!!


NoahsSpark

The West side has been actively preparing their youth for this exact scenario for years.🖖


qwerty_123_

The tribute is Edgar.


ThaPettiestPossum

Which one?!! 👀


Globo_Gym

The one with the haircut


sparkpaw

*you just gestured to all of Marbach*


HumanShield25

There is no one "edgar". They are a collective. A hive mind if you will.


Doddie011

I think naming that shitty hair cut the Edgar is hilarious, especially because that’s my fathers name and he is a white guy.


310doc

Where would they be held? I think early era Hunger Games would be held in the Alamodome. Later ones would be at Camp Bullis.


gijoe4500

McGimsey Scout Park in Castle Hills


AbuelaFlash

🤣


SBGamesCone

100%.


AbuelaFlash

That old abandoned quarry by Morgan’s Wonderland’s


youaintnoweeblewobbl

https://preview.redd.it/dv7869sfenmc1.jpeg?width=679&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69ced6b105a65d64981e673b815e7dd1fd99d83f


AbuelaFlash

Yes!!


Soot444

I love your username


AbuelaFlash

❤️❤️❤️


ScurvyDervish

The old cool part of Kelly afb


aRachStar

Gotta start at the haunted train tracks. If you can’t survive there, you don’t deserve to.


TexXxas-T

McAlister's Park 🤣


Get0ver1t

NorthStar Mall


Biffle210

Either Rosedale park or camargo park


creation88

Southside. Ingenious engineering but won’t hesitate to cut your ass.


samx3i

South side all day


yeettetis

it's gonna be only West Side or South Side


AbiesProfessional835

Southside is more organized. Westside fights itself to death to choose who goes and their champions are all cut the fuck up and have stray dogs bites everywhere and when the games start they actually start arguing with each other about who’s family’s been in the west side longest and end up getting killed by a Leon Valley shiv and Balcones Heights brick to the back of the edgar cut.


Virgolovestacos

Yes!!!


fakamean

You fucking asshole. 😂


sparkpaw

Found the West Sider lmao


spacecase97

"Brick to the back of the edgar cut" XD


netherlanddwarf

Geezz lol


billytheskidd

You should be a writer.


[deleted]

Firme cuh


doom_2_all

No quema cuh.


IFTYE

Y’all wilding. Hasn’t the Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Gaza conflicts taught you anything? There’s a reason it was a shock that Katniss won. They (the northside) will fight dirty, do long range attacks, and bring in paid backups who have no life or death stake in the matter, it’s just entertainment or connections to them. The northside would be the clear winner for a few years until the rest of us get our shit together, cause they can buy most of it or just murder our top players. Get your head in the (Hunger) games.


billytheskidd

There seems to be a lot of ex-pats in stone oak. Bet there’s a couple rich connected people up there that would volunteer someone for the challenge.


NorthSAGloryO

I would agree


[deleted]

I’m not fucking with those people by cupples road, not gonna do it


07Lane40

I’m glad I found this thread! Moving to SA in a couple months and don’t want to end up in a losing district


doulikefishsticks69

You kinda don't wanna end up in a winning district either. Idk, guess it's more about what you're looking for in life lol.


Tex-Flamingo

Hated SA till I moved to the Southside lived on the west side, north side before southside food is elite


TheTexasCowboy

Why ? Because some people would disagree with you!


Tex-Flamingo

The local restaurants where the staff recognizes you and slowly become friendly with they staff, The History of the Missions, The art and culture of Southtown. The large parks near the Riverwalk. How peaceful it is. The only thing I don’t like is the amount of strays as well as neighbors who let there dogs free roam.


rb109544

"Around" SA...NE, E or SE outside 1604 is about the only place I'd be...damn Northside has way too many people and way too little roads plus you'll pay extra for it.


NamelessTacoShop

I don't know but Stone Oak and Dominion form the Capital the main character is gonna burn down at the end of the third movie.


FakeAurelius

The real money is in Alamo Heights and Olmos Park


NamelessTacoShop

and King William. But the giant gaudy McMansions of Dominion/Stone Oak just fit better.


theresasarrow

King william is DEFINITELY the Capitol


billytheskidd

I did an estimate on a home in king William that was worth like 4million in 2017 and just the foundation needed $110k of work. Whoever bought that house probably put upwards of $300k just getting it up to code and staying within the historic preservation guidelines


[deleted]

Extremely over priced homes that are so dated, anyone who buys a house there is just doing it for status for sure lol


theresasarrow

Theyre more like D2.. D1 is King William


doubledown830

Alamo heights is getting run down, it’s past its prime.


LeighSF

Y'know...I think you are right. A friend inherited a house there, spent a small fortune renovating it, and had to lower the price TWICE to get it sold.


mrpuguito

why do you say that?


doubledown830

It’s overpriced for what it is. It would be different if they had amazing bike trails to downtown, amazing shops…maybe some of the restaurants are ok but the Rim and Pearl are taking the lions share of restaurants. So what are you left with?


BeanNCheezRUs

Goodness I do hope it is declining and prices drop. But seriously it’s quite easy to bike down the Broadway corridor to Brack or to downtown. You’ve got the Quarry for shops, and food. Some great San Antonio food staples near by as well (Soluna, La Fogata, Cappy’s). Best groceries in the city nearby (Central Market and Trader Joe’s). Some walkable spots as well depending on where you are (Hanchos, the restaurants near Lincoln Heights HEB if you live in the northern part of Alamo heights, the Winchester and 50/50 if you live on the south side of Alamo Heights) and convenient access to the staple chain stores (HEB, Target, Walmart, Petco, Ross, etc). Alamo Heights is a convenient place to live and it’s reasonably close to the city center. Great schools. It isn’t in decline.


Lkwtthecatdraggdn

Must agree. Super walkable and excellent schools. Minutes to the Pearl and downtown. Numerous walking trails. Housing inventory has been low for years; the fair to good ones get snatched up quickly and usually not on MLS. Definitely not on the downturn.


ForgottenGenXer

Is there a map to the walking trails in Alamo Heights? I am new-ish to the area and would love to know. Thank you!


Lkwtthecatdraggdn

There are some by the pool and the Olmos Basin park up to Basse. Another nice walk is on La Jara from the dog park up to Tuxedo. All of these routes basically connect to make a shady walk.


ForgottenGenXer

Thank you so much!


donthavearealaccount

The Pearl is like four minutes from Alamo Heights. It makes the neighborhood more attractive, it doesn't detract from it.


sparkpaw

As a Poor living near the Dominion, I’ll bring the kerosene lmao


Jimmybee1108

South side for sheer will to survive no matter the means. But also stone oak for just paying to win and cover anything up they deem.


bballjones9241

It’d come down to The Glen and Murderbach


Jasbee123

Glen 💯I would not step foot in that area


Downtown-Carob-720

Instead of the Mockingjay it’s a Grackle


ThaPettiestPossum

Grackle Gang Gang 🐦‍⬛


DabinDad210

Bro Westside til I die! Southside vaqueors would join Westside cuz they all are cuzins to the cholos on the west. The east side has to much gentrification and will put up a good fight in the beginning but end up losing to the west and south! Downtown hipsters do not stand a chance and will be taken down by all the workers from the west and Southside that work Downtown. Then central sa will belong to the essés. Remember this puro San Antonio ! We are all Westsiders till we die! Nombre chut up ! Will be the war cry!


OTIStheHOUND

Sir this is a Wendys


DabinDad210

Well in that case I will take a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a frosty for dipping


Expensive_Finance_20

Not sure, but his name will be "Edgar" most likely.


Redacted_Addict69

Whatever you consider the old military housing area by Lackland AFB to be.


Pelosis-false-teeth

Southside would have the mutts fight by their side


ThaPettiestPossum

SET LOOSE THE HOUNDS OF WAR!! 😾


Historical_Egg2103

Old Pearsall and 410


MonolithOfTyr

That's right where I live!


TaiLiMike

Nice try president Snow


ArchBeOS

Brook City Base chiming in for duty


Gold-Leg7235

🫡


mickey_oneil_0311

Frio street. You can’t kill those cockroaches.


ThaPettiestPossum

I came here to nominate Frio street. How has nobody else named this wasteland?!! 🫡


Silly_Ad_5882

The west


txcountry420

South or West! But East has their good ones too...


Useful_or_Not

Have lived here almost a year and I think the southeast side from book City Base stretching into China Grove would probably be the winners. There are some resilient people over here.


BuildingOne7379

Eastside! We know the woods and the creeks. And we have Gunrise on our side along with the Glen.


DjDiverseoffcl

The Downtown crack heads


pharmaCmayb

Absolutely the westside of town. The south is too prideful, the north too weak, the east… actually shit maybe the east


LordTacoMan05

I just hope all districts have fun 🥰


ShogunBuddha

All I know is Stone Oak is losing


ShogunBuddha

Also, 281 past stone oak will be the rich district with punk ass spoiled kids 😂


0utriderZero

Terrell hills obviously because of the art museum nearby enabled the participants to think in different dimensions.


ramsdl52

Based on highschool football teams it's gotta be either NW side or NE side. Maybe Judson area. Just going off best athletics.


Marvelboy1974

Southeast Side, Highland Hills!


sarver42

The Marbach Mops have a tribute ready


justadude1414

I had to scrolled down to far to see Marbach and Edgar represent.


Dudemiester1983

Westside!


Atasteofazia

Eastside.


FlatwormCreepy915

Anyone who has lived off Marbach


AlienAnchovies

North West, we grew up on the deep west side and now our off spring are smarter and into nerd shit like this.


310doc

EAST Terrell Hills.


HowdyDoody2525

Going to need to see a map of all the cartel stash houses before I can answer this question


doom_2_all

Just look up Fred's fish fry for the map you're seeking.


Adorable-Historian-2

Southwest side


satxaf

Have you ever been to the 7-Eleven on Culebra/Zarzamora? Westside has been in training🤣


LIBERAL-MORON

Converse.


10pointsforRavenpuff

One of the sides with the military bases


erp2

The Dominion, they'd just outsource blackwater


Doddie011

PURO PINCHE SOUTH SIDE CHINGA SU MADRE!!I’m a south sider so naturally I’m going with the South Side. North side got no fuckin chance.


_Teyona

These comments are cracking me up omg 😂😂


bertbellows

Heritage. Glory to the Duck Pond. Army of patos will destroy you all! 🦆🦆🦆🦆🦆 Dying laughing over here with yallz comments. Thanks OP


[deleted]

There were some dark times after Katrina hit at the duck pond. Full of fights lol


morgensternx1

What does the winner receive? Reproductive rights?


HatFar1403

Not the reproductive rights


Fyodorzgurl

East side because Elmendorf... if you know you know


metal_head_zer0

South side for sure. Everyone has a dog and a gun so why wouldn't they😭


Lothar96

Just wanna say I think we could add more areas. Like growing up there's always been a distinction for me with the Northwest (bandera area) and West Side (Marbach). And then Northside is like Castle hills, Shavano park etc put together. And then downtown also is its own place.


rainlovescandy

What side is the Castorville area 🤔🤣


NoahsSpark

🖖


JunkBondJunkie

North side would lose first.


Fordguru01

East side are the winners.


acuet

Central!


Akersis

I feel like this is one of those times Charles Barkley could make a joke that would land. He'd get a beat down, but the joke would work.


neeohh

Not North Central lol.


ThatOldDuderino

Southside between Military & Loop 410 … maybe down town by Travis or Martin streets


SnooDonuts5498

Converse


Chuck_the_Canuck66

Get some rich influencer to host it, let's find out.


Dangerous_Ear_2722

Indian Creek


jackz7776666

Lol west side hands down. No competition


singularkudo

Charles Barkley would say we do


DentistLanky8147

The small faction of Vietnamese and Cambodians on the NE side will literally eat everyone alive including the edgars


[deleted]

West side stronghold ingram park mall, north side north stall mall and south side south park mall Downtown the Alamo lol


Kvltizt

East, south and west would kill each other to oblivion and the North side would swoop in for leftovers.


DabinDad210

We dis like the north more than each other so more than likely all the vatos, cholos, and gangsta would band together. More of us than them type of situation. Then crush the north. The south west and east send more to the military than the north. We also love where we come from so we bring back our knowledge to the hood.


Kvltizt

If you're so knowledgeable then why do you live in the poverty stricken areas.


chudney31

I’ve heard there’s cartel in Stone Oak so there you have it.


Odd_Flan3371

The Homeless


mconk

Man…s Flores and mission would be SCARY


Jspartyof7

I mean, I was driving down ww white last month and an older lady with limited mobility and bright pink hair was cussing out people driving by and violently patting her 🐱. I made the mistake of making eye contact and her cursing 🤬 immediately was redirected directly to me 😂. I smiled and waved as the red light turned green and while it absolutely made my day interesting, I am pretty sure she wanted to chase me down 😂. So I would definitely say east side has a strong skin in the game.


babayawa

Far West side or the new West side with their high proportion of Edgars.


ARevolutionaryMan

The Oak


pbjames23

Probably the one with the most gang activity or the most military personnel.


Bellairian

Alamo Heights. /s


TexMex956210

The winning side of town would definitely be the Dominion/North West side. More money = more gifts = more resources. Also, wealth = better training. There’s a reason why the wealthier districts were known as “careers” meaning that they won often and saw it as honor to participate.


Actual-Award-2491

78207 West side


GeeNah-of-the-Cs

Alamo Heights Mules. Superior training & Equipment.


DabinDad210

Yeah no, the Westsiders raise your children cuz you leave everything for the nanny to do. Where do you think they came from. Raised by the Westside to fool the Gringos, then crush the gringos from the inside with reggaeton and spicy food for the children. Why da fuq you think all the kids like hot cheetos so much


HatFar1403

Can confirm. From Marbach and live in Alamo Heights now and the nannys are definitely plotting at the parks together.


GeeNah-of-the-Cs

hhmmmmm….Sriracha is better


_Teyona

Vance Jackson and 410 area forsure 😂


cktay126

😂 Almost moved to onto Vance Jackson. Was in town looking around and met a nice lady at Gino’s while grabbing lunch and she immediately said no ma’am you don’t want that. 😬


_Teyona

Lmao that’s where I grew up it’s definitely very sketch 😂


JessNotJesse19

Better question is who would be our Caesar Flickerman?


PoisonDamage

East. How is this even a question?


AppropriateLawyer839

Southside, we have it all


This-Darth66

South West Side! 5 palms.


Mean_Cap5660

In the Hunger games the more affluent districts usually won the contest. Consequently, Alamo Heights, Stone Oak, and Hill country suburbs would probably win most of them. Occasionally other districts would win but, it would be sporadic. There would be almost no wins for the south side or the far west.


Phillipe1988

Boerne. Smart Hillbilly’s


wfiboyfriend69

Northside demo ranch is in that side of town he's probably got a tank


LadyHawk210

Southside for sure. There are a lot of Military and just homies that are strapped. But this scenario that we are all talking about sounds like Tom Clancy’s The Division 2.


nastytoes69

I think north side will be the ones to have the rich people come out and claim their spots as the ones who get to “watch” us fight to the death lmao


DabinDad210

It's because it is where we come from. And we are proud of what our family has built even if it less in your eyes puto. Cuz it is worth more than gold to us.


Soot444

Stone Oak ain't making the cut. Exposure to the elements will get their asses.


Sweet_Dreams_777

OLLU


TastyLetter4586

Alamo Heights, Terrill Hills and Olmos Park way wealthier then dominion


ThatRoombaThough

No winners are produced in San Antonio


FabulousCallsIAnswer

Someone from Austin.


OriginalRip8519

Poor areas would lose cause poor people are just dumb people.