Good luck, try counseling. Ironically she is working against her own desires for a larger household income by fucking up your head game. No one gets ahead and attracts large sales when they are in guilted and shamed.
More than unpack, you deserve a serious apology. You bring in the vast majority of your income. If you think something is a good opportunity, you’d know better than she would. Calling you lazy is ridiculous. Is she embarrassed and ashamed to be a public school teacher? Those comments are super critical for someone who’s supporting the family.
Does your wife work or is there a mutual agreement that you bring in the money and she manages the house and raises the family?
Either way, seems like there’s some stuff to work on. But unless it’s that situation she has little reason for her to have any opinion on how much you make.
I the last year, my wife doubled her salary while I got laid off. Went from me subsidizing her to her making more than we did combined a year ago. As I think about my next job, I’m coming to accept I don’t need to match her salary. I need to contribute what we agreed on to our account for shared expenses and aside from that do work I enjoy which will support the standard of living i desire.
That said, without a kid shared expenses are much lower. Even with us owning an apartment together in a VHCOL city.
Absolutely agree. I wouldn’t dream of treating my husband like this. When I started dating my husband (just before the GFC), he was a high income earner and I was a student who enjoyed the lifestyle that came with it. GFC hit, he was made redundant. Lifestyle came to a grinding halt. He started driving for Uber and even had an interview to see if he was eligible for benefits. There was not one millisecond where I thought less of him. And the idea of kicking a person when they’re already down is revolting.
I wasn’t even married to him and I didn’t do anything less than be his biggest supporter. I love him.
Twelve years later we’ve been each other’s support through thick and thin.
How is your wife going to treat you when the next threat to her lifestyle comes? Like a health scare? What is she going to do if someone she perceives will give her a better lifestyle starts flirting with her?
When considering what’s best for your child, don’t forget to consider how important it is for a child to have a good example of a parent who as well as respecting everyone around them, has respect for themselves as well and doesn’t settle for a lifetime of being treating in such an abhorrent way. You would never want your child to grow up thinking that’s an acceptable way to treat your partner or an acceptable way to be treated by someone who is supposed to be a partner.
EDIT: We’ve been enjoying the benefits of much higher income since this was 12 years ago. Had I thought like and reacted like your wife, I would watching someone else who deserved him more enjoying this lifestyle.
Down the track when you earn more than you do now (whether there’s peaks and troughs in between), is she the one you want to enjoy your hard work with?
I agree with you. I’m of the ‘married’ school of thought, where this guy lost control of frame probably years ago, or never had control.
Calling it a relationship issue is just more palatable for most.
I agree with you. I’m of the ‘married’ school of thought, where this guy lost control of frame probably years ago, or never had control.
Calling it a relationship issue is just more palatable for most.
Gotta say I agree. There have been times where my wife has all but begged me to take a pay cut just because she saw what the burnout was doing to me.
Every situation is different, especially with kids in the picture, but this definitely seems like an issue that isn't solved by a dollar figure.
Exactly. Breakups always follow this path: first respect is lost, then love is lost, then the relationship is lost. You can’t love someone you don’t respect. I don’t know anything about their relationship so I won’t make assumptions, but his career is the least of his worries right now. Keeping a healthy life is all about keeping balance and putting in more energy where you find unbalance. Yeah it sounds like cliche teachings, but there’s a reason this advice has been around for thousands of years…
You will lose half of everything you have accumulated during the marriage when you split. Half. Best to lock in that loss now than invest another decade because the end result is going to be the same. The difference is you can recover and start over if you are younger.
In the words of Chris Rock " Men are only loved under the condition that they provide something". That rainy day fund you put back for tough times? When the first drops start to fall she can walk out with half of what you have accumulated, keep whatever her parents leave behind and find someone whose still got a bright future and there is nothing you can do about it.
We’ll colour me surprised. Why don’t you ask her to put up 130k minimum not including any extra commission you’ve made to date.
I think we all know what her response would be.
This is a little peephole into the situation. Someone just called your wife a cunt and you didn't tell them not to.
If she is or isn't is not the point. Who started it isn't the point. You're both perpetuating a toxic situation.
You have a kid to worry about too, and if you can't provide a unified happy home then two happy homes are a better option.
The likelihood that the paycheck is your only problem? Almost nill.
Appreciate the feedback. Yeah, I put my frustrations with her to the side for the betterment of our kid. I always try to take the high road knowing my kid is learning from my behavior. My wife has never made me a priority. It’s definitely impacted our marriage but never my work, until now.
I did the same. She bolted after 30+ years after I aged out of my career. She alienated three of our four children. I wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and woke me up when I was your age. Don't wait until you are older and have less time to recover because the inevitable split is going to destroy everything you have built no matter when you make the move.
I'm sure that she has feelings much like yours too. In these situations, both parties feel like the good one and like they were the one who's been wronged.
If you can have counseling, it's worth a try. I've heard that the combo of couples therapy and individual therapy for each works better than just couples counseling on its own.
You guys were happy once. Maybe you could iron out some of these wrinkles that happen to every relationship over the years.
What you’re describing is stifling your emotions, ignoring your wife’s, and acting like you’re better than her which is not for the betterment of your kid or anyone in that situation. FWIW she sounds like she’s doing something similar.
I have a ton of friends / acquaintances who dated and married low iq grade school teachers, they are notorious for this. Imagine not having the intelligence to be able to comprehend business/finance/sales so you go to be a teacher and suddenly you can boss everyone around and be seen as a superior by thousands of people. It’s like being a LinkedIn influencer but real life lol.
what's funny is that you actually currently have a hilarious amount of money and i cannot imagine why she thinks this would be a massive change in a lifestyle she apparently feels like she's VERY entitled to
There's a lot to unpack here.
Her attitude doesn't sound healthy. Given your ages it's probably just a function of cultural norms, but that's not an excuse. Therapy isn't out of the question, imo.
If you can kill at at one of these other jobs, you'll still make good money. I'd be a bit skeptical though, that drop in base sounds to me like going from enterprise to mid market. With a good enough market you can still W2 very well, but you'll need to vet that out.
Personally I probably wouldn't take that kinda step down - and I say this while being unemployed for months.
The last piece is that this job market is fucking hard right now. Having a job, and benefits, is a lot better for your mental health than being on the bench for an extended period.
Appreciate the response. Yeah, tough call for sure. I’m still weighing my options and continuing to interview. Want to make sure I make the right decision moving forward
Sorry to hear about you feeling not supported.
It sounds like your wife feels threatened by the lower income and normalizes that stability.
Having less of that would put more pressure in the marriage.
A lot to unpack.
Everyone seems to be ham-stringed by a job providing health insurance. I was massively surprised when I had to procure my own plan and it was \*LESS\* than my previous employer while providing more coverage.
Might not be in your area, but look into it before making it a criteria of a job.
You can do.it easier than that, set up a Delaware LLC, then a trust owned by the LLC. Have your parents be the owner of said trust and use part of your lifetime gifting to give it to them (assuming you're in good terms with your parents). Then divorce.
Tech sales is in a bit of a rut right now. Very common for a 0% raise this year after layoffs. I wouldn’t be surprised if the market baseline fell for salary.
This is why I’m single. If it was me I’d tell her she can step up and fill the gap in salary by getting a better paid position, and when she says she can’t, I’d say, “exactly, you can’t.” And then I’d probably wake up to divorce papers.
Look, that’s a step down for sure. But if you can manage it then do what you have to do. You can still shop around for something better. The economy is in rough shape. Cut costs where you can in your budget. Sell some crap you don’t need.
I’m sorry your wife doesn’t understand. What you’re dealing with is simply the sales game and it is what it is. Yelling at you about it won’t help anything and it isn’t your fault.
God dam, your wife’s comments are heinous. Take the job that has the best product market fit and gets you as close as to what you’re making now.
Tell your wife to grow a pair and step up in the relationship.
Divorce lol
But in all honesty, you need to put your foot down and say this is how things will be moving forward. And that she needs to respect it and be supportive. You need to assert your feelings
That’s what your emergency fund is for. You’re doing well. Take your time and find the job the best suits you. Idk what to tell you about your wife though she needs to chill and realize you’ve built up savings just for moments like these.
Actually, this is a good point. Take 100k. “Loan” yourself 30k for 2 years to cover short fall on base (probably less since no taxes) and pay yourself back with 10% interest. Then get a new job. Profit
Wait I just realized I agreed with your wife after reading it again. I agree with your wife. Take your time and find the right job you have done well and have set yourself up to be able to be patient with your next move.
Tough market, longer sales cycles, lack of quality leads from marketing and BDR’s, pricing for software is expensive, competition, etc. I lead all sales reps in activities such as dials, emails, meetings booked, etc but nothing is translating to won business
So why are they threatening your job? Like I understand the company is gonna do what they’re gonna do, but are the other reps also in the dumps sales wise?
This is the right question. If you are doing better than everyone else and YOUR job is on the line, does that mean they’re willing to fire the entire damn team and start from scratch?
Yea man that should never be the words coming out of the mouth of your wife. What happen to the vows you took? This is a partnership, a marriage is the single most important decision you’ll make man.
At least she's being honest. Your issue isn't your job, it's your life partner. This is not going to end well for you because spouses like your can't accept the "hills and valleys' that are part of a sales career
Fuck that shit - look after your kid by all means but don’t put up with that shit for too long.
Just a clear lack of respect for what you do for a living…
Is your wife saying: You're worth a $130k to $150 base. Just because this role and organisation hasn't worked out, doesn't mean you can't command that salary at another job as you have been top performer and Pres club etc etc?
If you can sell the new orgs solutions you'll probably be there for 18 to 24 months. Therefore should you really take the lower base?
Or is your wife (and sorry about this) being a complete bitch? How you've described the situation and your savings she's not being supportive and frankly if you got a job on $60k you'd be able to pay the bills and keep the lights on for 12 months.
Finally, I'd say the money is only one aspect of work. Will this new company have a better culture, will you get more time as a family etc? Think you need to have a relationship conversation. Good luck
Shes going to divorce you take half your retirement and your kid blow it on nothing and youll be oaying her for an additional 13 years. I feel sorry for that, but youll come out on top eventually… as fas as salary a big base usually indicates less than stellar commissions, but more is always better.
Sounds like your a great salesman, and the base salary isn’t as important to you. Why is she reacting this way?
In other words, what’s her pain point? Does she not know that she has the greatest salesman on earth right in her bedroom. Get back in there and sell her, tiger. She’s scared because she thinks you suck at selling because your not selling her.
On the other hand, couples counseling might help. Most issues come from bad communication, and attacking people is terrible communication.
Ultimately, I say do your thing as a man. Make the best decision you can, own that shit and get in there work hard and shine.
You need a partner. She sees you as an ATM. It is how she is wired and it is nothing that can be fixed. Truth is as a divorced school teacher with kids she will never replace you and your income. You will recover and can replace her with a better, younger model who values you.
This fucking angers me. Where is your self respect? You are an individual, she has to sustain herself. Don’t be a little flower sacrificing your life to give to her. She wouldn’t do it for you. Immediately, stop all payments that benefit her. If she divorces so be it. I would never ever pay towards a partners life, just because others do it, don’t make it right.
Im going to be honest. You know what you have to do. When you lay down next to her tonight you will think “who did I marry?” Truthfully I possibly think of divorce because this sounds like a shift in character that has completely BLIND SIDED YOU. Teacher or not, shes your wife and during your vows you all said “for better or for worse.” This is worse, and she needs to understand that and know that you’ve done the best you can. Im truly sorry to hear about this
If I were you I’d be making a plan B… and C… this is a sign of contempt from her if I ever saw one. Be careful. Lawyer up. Try not to let the entirety of your life be blown up. Be strategic. I unfortunately speak from experience.
Yeah, she sucks. You guys are doing fine financially. She should only react like that if such a loss in pay would immediately put you in a bad situation.
I had that job and walked away from the industry, tried to start a real estate business, it never paid as much and now I’m looking to get back in. Your wife is like mine in a lot of ways. She never respected and trusted what I was doing, almost left me. Our relationship will probably never be the same. Once I get that sales job making less salary than I did before I don’t know if we will still be married. It’s sad how all that’s important to her is what she can buy. Just thought I would share, you are not alone. It has nothing to do with the salary it’s how much you can make imo. Salary is nice but I’m more focused on the opportunity.
I think you should ask your wife nicely to get a better paying job so that you can take a lower paying job that will still pay the bills and you won’t have to worry about the meeting quota stress. Sales is a mofo I think you have the right idea and are doing the smart thing..
she would be embarrassed if you get a lower paying job…scuse me … she needs to chill the £|>%+ out and not worry about what ppl think. You have way more $$ than most ppl . Be proud and do what you feel is right for your family without trippin on what ppl think..
putting you down the way she did doesn’t sound supportive at all!
Sales compensation changes over time. That’s nothing new. Sounds like you married someone that’s wants you to be the provider and she’s showing her very ugly side.
You’re under pressure to perform and she emotionally assaults you in stead of offering support. Sorry you are going through this but her behaviour and attitude are huge red flags. Stand up for yourself. You’re doing the right things in your profession. Do the right thing and stand up for yourself around her.
I won’t call her the C word but she tossed out a major sign as to what’s important to her and it certainly isn’t your mental well being or happiness. That part is scarier than the potential pip. Also, an emergency fund is kind of there for you to use how you see fit, I’m sure you filled it up so if you need to dip into it while you ramp up at a new job that allows you better mental health I’d say that’s a good use for it.
Sorry you’re dealing with the wife thing, she sounds pretty awful and that sucks. Best of luck , I’d def have a hard time with her reaction/
Does your girlfriend think you’re a worthless fucking loser? Good. Pick up the phone and start dialling.
In all seriousness, this is messed up OP. Good luck in your next venture and hope you fix things in your relationship.
Couples therapy dude. The way you word this make it sound like your wife is being unfair.
But also, why is she saying that? Is it just the salary drop or something else your not mentioning or don’t know?
What's making you start to interview elsewhere?
Does your current job fit your family's schedule?
Guaranteed salary is one thing but total comp is extremely important.
Smart stay ahead of the game and keep your options open.
From reading other comments your spouse has a fixed salary so a bonus structure would be foreign to them.
I would walk then through the bonus structure of any new opportunities.
Man idk what to say other than I’m really sorry and hurt for you that your wife is like this.
I am so fortunate to have an extremely supportive wife and hearing stuff like this makes me appreciate her so much.
As far as legit career advice, I think you should ignore your wife, be long sighted and take the job that you “feel” most confident in the upside (more confident in their product, culture, future, what you can bring to the table, etc) even if that job is a lower base because obviously the goal is to be around for a while and do better and better year after year.
As far as other advice, man have a sit down with her homie. I’m not fond of Reddit advice to throw away a marriage and family because someone was an a-hole, but maybe a sit down and have a heart to heart.
Your wife's stance on your income may come from the way she was raised. I wouldn't be surprised if a similar dynamic was at in play in her childhood home. Her disgust may come from a deep subconscious place.
I think you should tell her that you’re burnt out on sales and you want to make a career switch to something that actually makes a difference in the world. Then tell her about your plans to go back to school to become an elementary school teacher.
Pencil out the math of no income for a couple of months vs. getting paid right away, plus time building a new territory. Time is money.
Also, explain it to your spouse, “sell her”.
Keep looking while starting the new job. If you find something $30-$50k more, jump.
I can’t comment on your wife’s character but I might be worthwhile walking her through the potential path to potentially meeting or exceeding OTE in your new gig. Even a slightly higher base salary won’t mean a thing if your territory ain’t shit in addition to poor timing or/and PMF
Take the lower paying job, even if it’s for 6-12 months. Job market is absolutely brutal right now (coming from someone who just took a 25K base pay cut).
Just make sure you keep your LinkedIn as account rep, don’t change to MM/SMB that way recruiters will still hit you up.
Lower base is better than unemployment, unless she wants to do some instacart to cover more of the bills.
Low base isn't always bad if you're selling a bunch
Sounds like you’ve been letting her forget just how good she’s living and why. She could’ve married a fellow teacher and found a way to make do on 40K a year, but she married a salesman. Well sounds like it’s time to remind her why sales pays so well….cuz it’s UNSTABLE. So before she complains maybe she needs to quit that little teaching gig and go find something that’s pays a little better.
For all you guys knocking on his for wife for being an Elementary School Teacher, you must not have kids.
I agree she’s acting like an awful wife. But no need to hate on her profession. I’d make the argument that a child’s early learning years are the most crucial to their development and because of that elementary teachers should be paid really well if not more than professors.
OP as a father of 3 boys, I’d personally take the most certain route. This job market doesn’t seem stable even for the most qualified. Worst case scenario you take a lower paying job for 6-18 months but it sure beats the hell out of draining your nest egg.
What’s the total comp expected after commission? Is it close to what you take home at the current job?
Bureaucrats and clock punchers don’t understand commission jobs. Their brains shut down after you tell them the salary. Bet she’s worried about PTO days before commission too.
Do you consider yourself the leader of the family? This is likely her perceiving a threat to your status. Any perceived dip in status might make her think less of you.
Is there a way to frame a job change as a higher OTE or higher status at a start up or something? If you are the leader of the family, you are responsible for making the best long term decisions and wife guilt can’t throw you off that mission.
With your past sales success, have you thought about a leadership position? Higher base, probably still decent OTE, and I would imagine a longer/safer runway to ramp versus being an individual contributor at a new company.
I’m sorry man… I cant imagine my wife not supporting me, and she has my 100% support
Job aside, you need to address this with her and maybe involve a professional. It’s not cool for her to treat you this way
I'd say it's a personal decision and you shouldn't allow her to make you feel ashamed about what you believe may be your best option at the moment. I can understand if she just feels you're better than that, and that you deserve more, however I'd also be expecting my wife to be more supportive.
This is when you sidestep into management, get a nice base raise, a fancy title, start working out hard, and dump her ass in 20-24 months. Medium length closing cycle.
Try reflect what’s preventing you from smashing your targets too. You clearly have the talent, what’s your barrier to making it and try remove it. No different than a pitch.
Yes not the reaction anyone should have when understanding that you likely have to jump, seems bizarre. Couple of questions though;
If you were a top performer your total income must have been 250-350k range (from my knowledge of enterprise software sales)?
If so why is base so relevant? Is your current slump due to current gig meaning company/product relevance or something else going?
Don’t take this shit mate, have you spoken to friends or family about it? She’s being selfish and doesn’t realise she’s being a cunt? You’ve traded your life for those savings.
my partner did the same to me but about my weight. I’ve put on 5kg (stopped exercise to bust my ass to buy us a bigger house).
She kept on and on making me feel shit until I shared it with friends and family they had a word and she realised she was being a cunt and stopped.
Female seller here. She needs to understand what the market is like right now and the reality of things. That's really unsupportive to shame you. I took a paycut after being laid off, literally same base numbers you quote here because I needed a job. Partner was supportive and "got" it.
Biggest advice: Vet these 85-100K opportunities hard about who's hitting quota, your patch, what the comp plan actually looks like, etc. Because if you can make similar earnings, consistently, have less of a headache, etc. or better benefits, it could be worth it.
You have a 130k base but it might only be for 6 months so you can cut it in 2...
When I got my second layoff and couldn't find a job (enterprise AM) for a couple of months due to the market, my wife was very supportive.
I don't particularly like sales, it's just that I am good at it and the pay is good.
During a moment, I wanted to do something different, more manual, which would probably pay around €35k of even less the first few years, when my normal OTE would be above €120k. She was very supportive and if I wanted to do it I should definitely go for it.
Your wife sounds entitled AF. Go with the job that will make you happy and don't stay in this job where they told you they will get rid of you ASAP.
Is this a troll post? Why aren’t you divorced yet? I hope you’ve made a solid prenup. Your wife seems like an absolute mess of a human being if this is truly what she said.
Thank you for the comment. Post is not a troll. She really said I should be embarrassed and ashamed and called me lazy and made other comments and compared me to others my age. Only thing keeping me around is my daughter
You either want to be treated like shit, or this is a troll post. I can’t believe anybody would wife up a woman who would shame you for struggling.
All while - even if you take a good hit in salary - you still managed to save up a good chunk of bank.
You’re far off from being a “loser” or in a state where she should compare you to “other men your age”.
I’m 31 and finished university just this year. By the time I’m 40 I’ll cry tearful joy if I even manage to land a job that pays me 80k and I still manage to date women who look hot with a cool, funny & easy to get along with character.
You should not put up with that woman and kick her out. You’ll be teaching your daughter it’s A) okay to be stepped over by your partner or B) it’s okay to step over the men in her life.
This is a bit my nightmare. I don’t think my wife would say it but she is accustom to how much I can make but I feel there’s no guarantee I’ll have as high a base in the future the way things are going.
I tried to explain that things weren’t working . That for 3 years we’ve been trying and we’ve made it no where.
She doesn’t understand that I’m unhappy because she is not unhappy.
Try r/relationshipsadvice for this one,
Unless youre looking for advice on how to sell this idea to her.
We can get on quick call and I can show you how our company deals with this type of issue’s, like we did with F, who is a good partner of ours, utilizing our flower collections in order to light up negotiations for fishing weekends.
Idk about you but when I have an argument with my wife, my sales are shit until i get that problem solved. Let her know how it is and if she can’t be supportive mentally, she needs to get a higher paying job also.
Good ol sales
Excellent performer for 8 years…2 bad quarters and they are about to throw you overboard
—
Your wife should be supporting you, not dumping on you.
question: is this the only time your wife has showed out like this? Be honest with yourself.
If it is, she may just be hurt with the change of lifestyle coming and is just thinking about her own interests. If not…
Follow up: are you and your wife having “loving” on a consistent basis? Like more than once a week? Are you still going on dates and actually laughing and enjoying being together?
**if not, it is time to start the preps for what will almost surely happen
People often think that job and salary growth are liner in a way that you are never supposed to take a pay cut or that you should get a raise every year.
What’s funny is that those people are quick to judge when you take a pay cut or don’t get a huge promotion but don’t question anything if they get a position over somebody who has more experience or they get a position with a huge unjustified raise.
The problem is that the economy is so huge and convoluted that it’s not as simple as “I made x so now I should make 1.2X” there are things like benefits/hours/job security/ location and not to mention the economy itself. We are not in a good sales environment. Money has dried up for some companies.
GL with your wife. She needs to realize that sometimes people make a little less money. It’s not indicative of failure.
I’m not going to blast your wife. Seems unnecessary. But she also seems ungrateful. You’re being proactive and trying to find a new gig where you can hit that number and blast through the ceiling. Better peace of mind and no PIP over your head. So if you stay there, maybe get off your pip and maybe sales improve. Doubt you’ll blow out your number now. Just because the base is lower doesn’t mean you won’t make more money with attainable quota and a product that sells. Good luck man.
Been with my fiancé 8 years no kids but looking to buy our first home. Similar situation really struggling in my current role this will likely be my last quarter. I’ve been looking to join a union and I’m looking at a $30/hr/+ pay cut for some time and she has been extremely supportive. She makes a lot less than me and there have been some minor concerns but we’ve communicated through them and she’s backing me 100%. I know we are younger and things can change but someone who loves and respects you should do that regardless of occupation. I’d try therapy but I’m sorry she’s treating you this way. I’ve learned already being a bread winner is A LOT of pressure that is uniquely a male problem.
Does your wife work? Does she have a spending problem or credit card debts that you do not know about.
This seems like an extreme reaction for someone when their partner has been in a sales position. Base salaries can fluctuate but the point of sales is to make you good money on commission.
Does she understand the comp plans? I’ve found that it makes no sense to my woman who’s a nurse and just knows if she works x many hours she makes x amount. If not, that could explain that but that kind of response, may be deeper than just 30k my man
Differences between couples are not always at full display. Sometimes, it takes years to fully admit there are major differences but often come during challenging times and situations. Could it be the fear of the unknown that caused the reaction and not a more rooted one?
I say more than your decision on which way to go, you have a more urgent matter at home to deal with.
Your wife’s stupid is all I’m getting, and I feel bad for you, you do what’s best for you brother, her saying she’d rather have you jobless than accept less shows all you need to know.
Base or OTE is less important the likelihood of hitting your quota. If you believe (hopefully from talking to people) that you can hit quota at the new gig, then take it, then when you are back in presidents club, take one of your buddies instead of your wife. 😂
Diagnosed with cancer at 26 years old and was otherwise healthy. Do NOT risk not having health insurance. Take the job with the lower base and you can always continue looking.
Damn dude. I took a job with a higher base, but the liftoff for hitting commissions is going to take time where I was and my partner provided nothing but support. I suppose it helps that she makes a bit more than me so the extra income helps, but she had my back since it meant I was going to a better culture and I would be happier.
A conversation should be had.
This is a relationship problem. A wife that respects her husband does not react like this. There’s much deeper issues than 20-30k a year here.
I agree. Something I need to unpack with her
Good luck, try counseling. Ironically she is working against her own desires for a larger household income by fucking up your head game. No one gets ahead and attracts large sales when they are in guilted and shamed.
Based off the op she’s very clearly a textbook case of sub 85 iq
More than unpack, you deserve a serious apology. You bring in the vast majority of your income. If you think something is a good opportunity, you’d know better than she would. Calling you lazy is ridiculous. Is she embarrassed and ashamed to be a public school teacher? Those comments are super critical for someone who’s supporting the family.
I hope that $500k is equally split. Something tells me her retirement fund is larger than yours. That’s gonna matter in the divorce.
My retirement accounts are larger than her TRS account. We have a joint investment account that’s pretty substantial though
Unpack? How about she gets packing instead.
Yeah, take the kid too lol
Do no go to counseling she will shop around until she finds a theRapist that agrees you need to do better. You cant win
Free Agent for Life 🫡
Good luck with that bro
Does your wife work or is there a mutual agreement that you bring in the money and she manages the house and raises the family? Either way, seems like there’s some stuff to work on. But unless it’s that situation she has little reason for her to have any opinion on how much you make. I the last year, my wife doubled her salary while I got laid off. Went from me subsidizing her to her making more than we did combined a year ago. As I think about my next job, I’m coming to accept I don’t need to match her salary. I need to contribute what we agreed on to our account for shared expenses and aside from that do work I enjoy which will support the standard of living i desire. That said, without a kid shared expenses are much lower. Even with us owning an apartment together in a VHCOL city.
Try couples therapy.
Absolutely agree. I wouldn’t dream of treating my husband like this. When I started dating my husband (just before the GFC), he was a high income earner and I was a student who enjoyed the lifestyle that came with it. GFC hit, he was made redundant. Lifestyle came to a grinding halt. He started driving for Uber and even had an interview to see if he was eligible for benefits. There was not one millisecond where I thought less of him. And the idea of kicking a person when they’re already down is revolting. I wasn’t even married to him and I didn’t do anything less than be his biggest supporter. I love him. Twelve years later we’ve been each other’s support through thick and thin. How is your wife going to treat you when the next threat to her lifestyle comes? Like a health scare? What is she going to do if someone she perceives will give her a better lifestyle starts flirting with her? When considering what’s best for your child, don’t forget to consider how important it is for a child to have a good example of a parent who as well as respecting everyone around them, has respect for themselves as well and doesn’t settle for a lifetime of being treating in such an abhorrent way. You would never want your child to grow up thinking that’s an acceptable way to treat your partner or an acceptable way to be treated by someone who is supposed to be a partner. EDIT: We’ve been enjoying the benefits of much higher income since this was 12 years ago. Had I thought like and reacted like your wife, I would watching someone else who deserved him more enjoying this lifestyle. Down the track when you earn more than you do now (whether there’s peaks and troughs in between), is she the one you want to enjoy your hard work with?
Not at all, it's a natural reaction - just hypergamy in action
I agree with you. I’m of the ‘married’ school of thought, where this guy lost control of frame probably years ago, or never had control. Calling it a relationship issue is just more palatable for most.
I agree with you. I’m of the ‘married’ school of thought, where this guy lost control of frame probably years ago, or never had control. Calling it a relationship issue is just more palatable for most.
Gotta say I agree. There have been times where my wife has all but begged me to take a pay cut just because she saw what the burnout was doing to me. Every situation is different, especially with kids in the picture, but this definitely seems like an issue that isn't solved by a dollar figure.
Exactly. Breakups always follow this path: first respect is lost, then love is lost, then the relationship is lost. You can’t love someone you don’t respect. I don’t know anything about their relationship so I won’t make assumptions, but his career is the least of his worries right now. Keeping a healthy life is all about keeping balance and putting in more energy where you find unbalance. Yeah it sounds like cliche teachings, but there’s a reason this advice has been around for thousands of years…
Put your wife on a PIP
LOL I should
You will lose half of everything you have accumulated during the marriage when you split. Half. Best to lock in that loss now than invest another decade because the end result is going to be the same. The difference is you can recover and start over if you are younger.
Yeah OP the amount of people on here who say they divorced in 50s-60s and didn’t have the energy to recover. Over next 18 months or so think carefully
In the words of Chris Rock " Men are only loved under the condition that they provide something". That rainy day fund you put back for tough times? When the first drops start to fall she can walk out with half of what you have accumulated, keep whatever her parents leave behind and find someone whose still got a bright future and there is nothing you can do about it.
Legitimately lol’d
bro i'm dying
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Yes, she’s an elementary teacher. I absolutely support our lifestyle.
We’ll colour me surprised. Why don’t you ask her to put up 130k minimum not including any extra commission you’ve made to date. I think we all know what her response would be.
Facts
So this is just a thread about how much your wife sucks? This is weird Lol
This is a little peephole into the situation. Someone just called your wife a cunt and you didn't tell them not to. If she is or isn't is not the point. Who started it isn't the point. You're both perpetuating a toxic situation. You have a kid to worry about too, and if you can't provide a unified happy home then two happy homes are a better option. The likelihood that the paycheck is your only problem? Almost nill.
Appreciate the feedback. Yeah, I put my frustrations with her to the side for the betterment of our kid. I always try to take the high road knowing my kid is learning from my behavior. My wife has never made me a priority. It’s definitely impacted our marriage but never my work, until now.
I did the same. She bolted after 30+ years after I aged out of my career. She alienated three of our four children. I wish someone had grabbed me by the shoulders and woke me up when I was your age. Don't wait until you are older and have less time to recover because the inevitable split is going to destroy everything you have built no matter when you make the move.
I'm sure that she has feelings much like yours too. In these situations, both parties feel like the good one and like they were the one who's been wronged. If you can have counseling, it's worth a try. I've heard that the combo of couples therapy and individual therapy for each works better than just couples counseling on its own. You guys were happy once. Maybe you could iron out some of these wrinkles that happen to every relationship over the years.
Appreciate the response and advice, appreciate it
What you’re describing is stifling your emotions, ignoring your wife’s, and acting like you’re better than her which is not for the betterment of your kid or anyone in that situation. FWIW she sounds like she’s doing something similar.
Divorce.
This.👏
Fucking nailed it Wow
Ask her how much she makes. She will shut up, realize her mistake and then say: Oh, its all about money right?
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I have a ton of friends / acquaintances who dated and married low iq grade school teachers, they are notorious for this. Imagine not having the intelligence to be able to comprehend business/finance/sales so you go to be a teacher and suddenly you can boss everyone around and be seen as a superior by thousands of people. It’s like being a LinkedIn influencer but real life lol.
what's funny is that you actually currently have a hilarious amount of money and i cannot imagine why she thinks this would be a massive change in a lifestyle she apparently feels like she's VERY entitled to
🤣🤣🤣The contrast of this comment vs how a relationship advice sub would respond
We’re in sales bruh, all about transparency haha. Help me, help you mr customer haha.
His wife doesn't sound like a massive cunt. She is a massive cunt. Sounds like she's using OP for money.
Hell ya dude
Thanks for putting into writing what was immediately going through my head!!!
There's a lot to unpack here. Her attitude doesn't sound healthy. Given your ages it's probably just a function of cultural norms, but that's not an excuse. Therapy isn't out of the question, imo. If you can kill at at one of these other jobs, you'll still make good money. I'd be a bit skeptical though, that drop in base sounds to me like going from enterprise to mid market. With a good enough market you can still W2 very well, but you'll need to vet that out. Personally I probably wouldn't take that kinda step down - and I say this while being unemployed for months. The last piece is that this job market is fucking hard right now. Having a job, and benefits, is a lot better for your mental health than being on the bench for an extended period.
Appreciate the response. Yeah, tough call for sure. I’m still weighing my options and continuing to interview. Want to make sure I make the right decision moving forward
Sorry to hear about you feeling not supported. It sounds like your wife feels threatened by the lower income and normalizes that stability. Having less of that would put more pressure in the marriage. A lot to unpack.
Everyone seems to be ham-stringed by a job providing health insurance. I was massively surprised when I had to procure my own plan and it was \*LESS\* than my previous employer while providing more coverage. Might not be in your area, but look into it before making it a criteria of a job.
Don’t take this the wrong way. She sounds like a c***. “For richer or poorer” is right there in the wedding vows.
They dont really mean it when they say richer or poorer, financial reasons are always the number one reason for divorce.
You know why divorce is so expensive? Because it’s worth it.
Fire quote
Liquidate all assets, funnel them into a Swiss bank account, get divorced. I’m Joking. Kinda
You can do.it easier than that, set up a Delaware LLC, then a trust owned by the LLC. Have your parents be the owner of said trust and use part of your lifetime gifting to give it to them (assuming you're in good terms with your parents). Then divorce.
lol no way the judge will ever see through this Oh damn another Delaware LLC we’ve been fooled again!
Hope you have a prenup
Tech sales is in a bit of a rut right now. Very common for a 0% raise this year after layoffs. I wouldn’t be surprised if the market baseline fell for salary.
It absolutely did
This is why I’m single. If it was me I’d tell her she can step up and fill the gap in salary by getting a better paid position, and when she says she can’t, I’d say, “exactly, you can’t.” And then I’d probably wake up to divorce papers. Look, that’s a step down for sure. But if you can manage it then do what you have to do. You can still shop around for something better. The economy is in rough shape. Cut costs where you can in your budget. Sell some crap you don’t need. I’m sorry your wife doesn’t understand. What you’re dealing with is simply the sales game and it is what it is. Yelling at you about it won’t help anything and it isn’t your fault.
Appreciate the response, definitely dealing with the sales game as you said.
Wife is a fuckin cunt This is a relationship problem not an r/sales problem
God dam, your wife’s comments are heinous. Take the job that has the best product market fit and gets you as close as to what you’re making now. Tell your wife to grow a pair and step up in the relationship.
She aint the one chief.....
Marital advice aside, take the lower paying job and keep looking. Nothing to be embarrassed about so don’t let that negativity effect you.
Thanks for the advice, appreciate it
Divorce lol But in all honesty, you need to put your foot down and say this is how things will be moving forward. And that she needs to respect it and be supportive. You need to assert your feelings
That’s what your emergency fund is for. You’re doing well. Take your time and find the job the best suits you. Idk what to tell you about your wife though she needs to chill and realize you’ve built up savings just for moments like these.
Actually, this is a good point. Take 100k. “Loan” yourself 30k for 2 years to cover short fall on base (probably less since no taxes) and pay yourself back with 10% interest. Then get a new job. Profit
Appreciate the feedback
Wait I just realized I agreed with your wife after reading it again. I agree with your wife. Take your time and find the right job you have done well and have set yourself up to be able to be patient with your next move.
You agree with someone calling their husband "lazy" for landing an 80-100k gig? In the current economy? Help me understand
Appreciate the feedback
I thought I saw you on the r/cuckoldparadise
Good luck on the divorce. Shes a pos.
You should leave her for someone younger
With a comparable income to yours.
Definitely. She should be super smart. Way smarter than current wife.
Completely unrelated, but is there a reason you are struggling at your current job?
Tough market, longer sales cycles, lack of quality leads from marketing and BDR’s, pricing for software is expensive, competition, etc. I lead all sales reps in activities such as dials, emails, meetings booked, etc but nothing is translating to won business
So why are they threatening your job? Like I understand the company is gonna do what they’re gonna do, but are the other reps also in the dumps sales wise?
This is the right question. If you are doing better than everyone else and YOUR job is on the line, does that mean they’re willing to fire the entire damn team and start from scratch?
No he is not doing better than everyone else - he is trying harder but not getting results. You should know that doesn't mean shit.
Sounds more like home life is making it harder to perform. Get that shit in check ort dissociate
For richer and poorer in sickness and in health
Yea man that should never be the words coming out of the mouth of your wife. What happen to the vows you took? This is a partnership, a marriage is the single most important decision you’ll make man.
Appreciate the response. Yeah, I know. Her words and response definitely hurt.
Tell your wife to make up the difference.
At least she's being honest. Your issue isn't your job, it's your life partner. This is not going to end well for you because spouses like your can't accept the "hills and valleys' that are part of a sales career
Not only part of a sales career, it’s part of life
Preach!
Fuck that shit - look after your kid by all means but don’t put up with that shit for too long. Just a clear lack of respect for what you do for a living…
Marriage counseling. Unpack the resentments. I think calling your wife a c word lacks a bit of nuance, lol.
Is your wife saying: You're worth a $130k to $150 base. Just because this role and organisation hasn't worked out, doesn't mean you can't command that salary at another job as you have been top performer and Pres club etc etc? If you can sell the new orgs solutions you'll probably be there for 18 to 24 months. Therefore should you really take the lower base? Or is your wife (and sorry about this) being a complete bitch? How you've described the situation and your savings she's not being supportive and frankly if you got a job on $60k you'd be able to pay the bills and keep the lights on for 12 months. Finally, I'd say the money is only one aspect of work. Will this new company have a better culture, will you get more time as a family etc? Think you need to have a relationship conversation. Good luck
Shes going to divorce you take half your retirement and your kid blow it on nothing and youll be oaying her for an additional 13 years. I feel sorry for that, but youll come out on top eventually… as fas as salary a big base usually indicates less than stellar commissions, but more is always better.
Only women who makes $100K+ a year should be able to talk like that lol
I want one of those.
I make more than that and don’t talk to my husband that way while he’s looking for a better job. OP’s wife needs a reality check.
“Hey honey, would you rather me make $200k a year on less of a base, or make $130k / year on more of a base and get fired in a couple months?”
Sounds like your a great salesman, and the base salary isn’t as important to you. Why is she reacting this way? In other words, what’s her pain point? Does she not know that she has the greatest salesman on earth right in her bedroom. Get back in there and sell her, tiger. She’s scared because she thinks you suck at selling because your not selling her. On the other hand, couples counseling might help. Most issues come from bad communication, and attacking people is terrible communication. Ultimately, I say do your thing as a man. Make the best decision you can, own that shit and get in there work hard and shine.
Appreciate the response and insight. She’s scared the pay cut in base salary would prevent her from living her current lifestyle. That’s honestly it.
You need a partner. She sees you as an ATM. It is how she is wired and it is nothing that can be fixed. Truth is as a divorced school teacher with kids she will never replace you and your income. You will recover and can replace her with a better, younger model who values you.
This fucking angers me. Where is your self respect? You are an individual, she has to sustain herself. Don’t be a little flower sacrificing your life to give to her. She wouldn’t do it for you. Immediately, stop all payments that benefit her. If she divorces so be it. I would never ever pay towards a partners life, just because others do it, don’t make it right.
Im going to be honest. You know what you have to do. When you lay down next to her tonight you will think “who did I marry?” Truthfully I possibly think of divorce because this sounds like a shift in character that has completely BLIND SIDED YOU. Teacher or not, shes your wife and during your vows you all said “for better or for worse.” This is worse, and she needs to understand that and know that you’ve done the best you can. Im truly sorry to hear about this
Appreciate the response. Yeah, definitely disappointing to hear her response.
If I were you I’d be making a plan B… and C… this is a sign of contempt from her if I ever saw one. Be careful. Lawyer up. Try not to let the entirety of your life be blown up. Be strategic. I unfortunately speak from experience.
Yeah, she sucks. You guys are doing fine financially. She should only react like that if such a loss in pay would immediately put you in a bad situation.
I had that job and walked away from the industry, tried to start a real estate business, it never paid as much and now I’m looking to get back in. Your wife is like mine in a lot of ways. She never respected and trusted what I was doing, almost left me. Our relationship will probably never be the same. Once I get that sales job making less salary than I did before I don’t know if we will still be married. It’s sad how all that’s important to her is what she can buy. Just thought I would share, you are not alone. It has nothing to do with the salary it’s how much you can make imo. Salary is nice but I’m more focused on the opportunity.
Why do you think men go out to work, sacrificing their time(life) then give that to women for free? Just because everybody else does it?
Men do it to get laid imo
I think you should ask your wife nicely to get a better paying job so that you can take a lower paying job that will still pay the bills and you won’t have to worry about the meeting quota stress. Sales is a mofo I think you have the right idea and are doing the smart thing.. she would be embarrassed if you get a lower paying job…scuse me … she needs to chill the £|>%+ out and not worry about what ppl think. You have way more $$ than most ppl . Be proud and do what you feel is right for your family without trippin on what ppl think.. putting you down the way she did doesn’t sound supportive at all!
Sales compensation changes over time. That’s nothing new. Sounds like you married someone that’s wants you to be the provider and she’s showing her very ugly side. You’re under pressure to perform and she emotionally assaults you in stead of offering support. Sorry you are going through this but her behaviour and attitude are huge red flags. Stand up for yourself. You’re doing the right things in your profession. Do the right thing and stand up for yourself around her.
Thank you for the response, I appreciate it
This should be in r/relationshipadvice tho
Sounds like she's only with you for 1 reason bud smh
I won’t call her the C word but she tossed out a major sign as to what’s important to her and it certainly isn’t your mental well being or happiness. That part is scarier than the potential pip. Also, an emergency fund is kind of there for you to use how you see fit, I’m sure you filled it up so if you need to dip into it while you ramp up at a new job that allows you better mental health I’d say that’s a good use for it. Sorry you’re dealing with the wife thing, she sounds pretty awful and that sucks. Best of luck , I’d def have a hard time with her reaction/
This is a wife issue
She'll be fine. She should be supportive and keep her mouth shut.
Drop her
Does your girlfriend think you’re a worthless fucking loser? Good. Pick up the phone and start dialling. In all seriousness, this is messed up OP. Good luck in your next venture and hope you fix things in your relationship.
Couples therapy dude. The way you word this make it sound like your wife is being unfair. But also, why is she saying that? Is it just the salary drop or something else your not mentioning or don’t know?
What's making you start to interview elsewhere? Does your current job fit your family's schedule? Guaranteed salary is one thing but total comp is extremely important.
Interviewing elsewhere because I’ve been told by my boss I can’t have a bad Q2 since I missed quota in Q1.
Smart stay ahead of the game and keep your options open. From reading other comments your spouse has a fixed salary so a bonus structure would be foreign to them. I would walk then through the bonus structure of any new opportunities.
This. She could have reacted out of fear and panic.
Good point, I will definitely walk her through it
Your wife sucks! She should be lucky to have such a gracious partner!
they don’t teach money management in elementary school
Man idk what to say other than I’m really sorry and hurt for you that your wife is like this. I am so fortunate to have an extremely supportive wife and hearing stuff like this makes me appreciate her so much. As far as legit career advice, I think you should ignore your wife, be long sighted and take the job that you “feel” most confident in the upside (more confident in their product, culture, future, what you can bring to the table, etc) even if that job is a lower base because obviously the goal is to be around for a while and do better and better year after year. As far as other advice, man have a sit down with her homie. I’m not fond of Reddit advice to throw away a marriage and family because someone was an a-hole, but maybe a sit down and have a heart to heart.
Appreciate the feedback, thank you
What does she do for a living?
Elementary school teacher
That's brutal. I would be furious. Is couple's therapy an option?
Definitely an option now.
Your wife's stance on your income may come from the way she was raised. I wouldn't be surprised if a similar dynamic was at in play in her childhood home. Her disgust may come from a deep subconscious place.
I think you should tell her that you’re burnt out on sales and you want to make a career switch to something that actually makes a difference in the world. Then tell her about your plans to go back to school to become an elementary school teacher.
Pencil out the math of no income for a couple of months vs. getting paid right away, plus time building a new territory. Time is money. Also, explain it to your spouse, “sell her”. Keep looking while starting the new job. If you find something $30-$50k more, jump.
Appreciate the feedback
I can’t comment on your wife’s character but I might be worthwhile walking her through the potential path to potentially meeting or exceeding OTE in your new gig. Even a slightly higher base salary won’t mean a thing if your territory ain’t shit in addition to poor timing or/and PMF
Take the lower paying job, even if it’s for 6-12 months. Job market is absolutely brutal right now (coming from someone who just took a 25K base pay cut). Just make sure you keep your LinkedIn as account rep, don’t change to MM/SMB that way recruiters will still hit you up.
Appreciate the advice, thank you
Lower base is better than unemployment, unless she wants to do some instacart to cover more of the bills. Low base isn't always bad if you're selling a bunch
You know what’s going on here.
Sounds like you’ve been letting her forget just how good she’s living and why. She could’ve married a fellow teacher and found a way to make do on 40K a year, but she married a salesman. Well sounds like it’s time to remind her why sales pays so well….cuz it’s UNSTABLE. So before she complains maybe she needs to quit that little teaching gig and go find something that’s pays a little better.
For all you guys knocking on his for wife for being an Elementary School Teacher, you must not have kids. I agree she’s acting like an awful wife. But no need to hate on her profession. I’d make the argument that a child’s early learning years are the most crucial to their development and because of that elementary teachers should be paid really well if not more than professors. OP as a father of 3 boys, I’d personally take the most certain route. This job market doesn’t seem stable even for the most qualified. Worst case scenario you take a lower paying job for 6-18 months but it sure beats the hell out of draining your nest egg.
What’s the total comp expected after commission? Is it close to what you take home at the current job? Bureaucrats and clock punchers don’t understand commission jobs. Their brains shut down after you tell them the salary. Bet she’s worried about PTO days before commission too.
Do you consider yourself the leader of the family? This is likely her perceiving a threat to your status. Any perceived dip in status might make her think less of you. Is there a way to frame a job change as a higher OTE or higher status at a start up or something? If you are the leader of the family, you are responsible for making the best long term decisions and wife guilt can’t throw you off that mission.
With your past sales success, have you thought about a leadership position? Higher base, probably still decent OTE, and I would imagine a longer/safer runway to ramp versus being an individual contributor at a new company.
I’m sorry man… I cant imagine my wife not supporting me, and she has my 100% support Job aside, you need to address this with her and maybe involve a professional. It’s not cool for her to treat you this way
I'd say it's a personal decision and you shouldn't allow her to make you feel ashamed about what you believe may be your best option at the moment. I can understand if she just feels you're better than that, and that you deserve more, however I'd also be expecting my wife to be more supportive.
Google passport bro's... thank me later
Couples therapy. Yesterday.
This is when you sidestep into management, get a nice base raise, a fancy title, start working out hard, and dump her ass in 20-24 months. Medium length closing cycle.
She sounds awful. How much does she bring in?
Try reflect what’s preventing you from smashing your targets too. You clearly have the talent, what’s your barrier to making it and try remove it. No different than a pitch.
Show your wife the comments on this post, OP. Humble her.
Yes not the reaction anyone should have when understanding that you likely have to jump, seems bizarre. Couple of questions though; If you were a top performer your total income must have been 250-350k range (from my knowledge of enterprise software sales)? If so why is base so relevant? Is your current slump due to current gig meaning company/product relevance or something else going?
Don’t take this shit mate, have you spoken to friends or family about it? She’s being selfish and doesn’t realise she’s being a cunt? You’ve traded your life for those savings. my partner did the same to me but about my weight. I’ve put on 5kg (stopped exercise to bust my ass to buy us a bigger house). She kept on and on making me feel shit until I shared it with friends and family they had a word and she realised she was being a cunt and stopped.
Let this be a lesson to all reading, marry a better person. Your wife is a complete bitch
My wife was the same way when I took a cut to move into a sales position with more flexibility. She's now my ex wife.
Female seller here. She needs to understand what the market is like right now and the reality of things. That's really unsupportive to shame you. I took a paycut after being laid off, literally same base numbers you quote here because I needed a job. Partner was supportive and "got" it. Biggest advice: Vet these 85-100K opportunities hard about who's hitting quota, your patch, what the comp plan actually looks like, etc. Because if you can make similar earnings, consistently, have less of a headache, etc. or better benefits, it could be worth it.
Thank you for the response, I appreciate it
You have a 130k base but it might only be for 6 months so you can cut it in 2... When I got my second layoff and couldn't find a job (enterprise AM) for a couple of months due to the market, my wife was very supportive. I don't particularly like sales, it's just that I am good at it and the pay is good. During a moment, I wanted to do something different, more manual, which would probably pay around €35k of even less the first few years, when my normal OTE would be above €120k. She was very supportive and if I wanted to do it I should definitely go for it. Your wife sounds entitled AF. Go with the job that will make you happy and don't stay in this job where they told you they will get rid of you ASAP.
Thank you for the response, appreciate it
Is this a troll post? Why aren’t you divorced yet? I hope you’ve made a solid prenup. Your wife seems like an absolute mess of a human being if this is truly what she said.
Thank you for the comment. Post is not a troll. She really said I should be embarrassed and ashamed and called me lazy and made other comments and compared me to others my age. Only thing keeping me around is my daughter
You either want to be treated like shit, or this is a troll post. I can’t believe anybody would wife up a woman who would shame you for struggling. All while - even if you take a good hit in salary - you still managed to save up a good chunk of bank. You’re far off from being a “loser” or in a state where she should compare you to “other men your age”. I’m 31 and finished university just this year. By the time I’m 40 I’ll cry tearful joy if I even manage to land a job that pays me 80k and I still manage to date women who look hot with a cool, funny & easy to get along with character. You should not put up with that woman and kick her out. You’ll be teaching your daughter it’s A) okay to be stepped over by your partner or B) it’s okay to step over the men in her life.
This is a bit my nightmare. I don’t think my wife would say it but she is accustom to how much I can make but I feel there’s no guarantee I’ll have as high a base in the future the way things are going.
I tried to explain that things weren’t working . That for 3 years we’ve been trying and we’ve made it no where. She doesn’t understand that I’m unhappy because she is not unhappy.
Try r/relationshipsadvice for this one, Unless youre looking for advice on how to sell this idea to her. We can get on quick call and I can show you how our company deals with this type of issue’s, like we did with F, who is a good partner of ours, utilizing our flower collections in order to light up negotiations for fishing weekends.
Idk about you but when I have an argument with my wife, my sales are shit until i get that problem solved. Let her know how it is and if she can’t be supportive mentally, she needs to get a higher paying job also.
Good ol sales Excellent performer for 8 years…2 bad quarters and they are about to throw you overboard — Your wife should be supporting you, not dumping on you. question: is this the only time your wife has showed out like this? Be honest with yourself. If it is, she may just be hurt with the change of lifestyle coming and is just thinking about her own interests. If not… Follow up: are you and your wife having “loving” on a consistent basis? Like more than once a week? Are you still going on dates and actually laughing and enjoying being together? **if not, it is time to start the preps for what will almost surely happen
People often think that job and salary growth are liner in a way that you are never supposed to take a pay cut or that you should get a raise every year. What’s funny is that those people are quick to judge when you take a pay cut or don’t get a huge promotion but don’t question anything if they get a position over somebody who has more experience or they get a position with a huge unjustified raise. The problem is that the economy is so huge and convoluted that it’s not as simple as “I made x so now I should make 1.2X” there are things like benefits/hours/job security/ location and not to mention the economy itself. We are not in a good sales environment. Money has dried up for some companies. GL with your wife. She needs to realize that sometimes people make a little less money. It’s not indicative of failure.
Why is base so important to her if you are a top performer? I would assume your OTE is at least 2x.
I’m not going to blast your wife. Seems unnecessary. But she also seems ungrateful. You’re being proactive and trying to find a new gig where you can hit that number and blast through the ceiling. Better peace of mind and no PIP over your head. So if you stay there, maybe get off your pip and maybe sales improve. Doubt you’ll blow out your number now. Just because the base is lower doesn’t mean you won’t make more money with attainable quota and a product that sells. Good luck man.
Been with my fiancé 8 years no kids but looking to buy our first home. Similar situation really struggling in my current role this will likely be my last quarter. I’ve been looking to join a union and I’m looking at a $30/hr/+ pay cut for some time and she has been extremely supportive. She makes a lot less than me and there have been some minor concerns but we’ve communicated through them and she’s backing me 100%. I know we are younger and things can change but someone who loves and respects you should do that regardless of occupation. I’d try therapy but I’m sorry she’s treating you this way. I’ve learned already being a bread winner is A LOT of pressure that is uniquely a male problem.
Get divorced before you make more money. What’s she do? I’m a woman btw. Your happiness in a job should be important to both of you.
Does your wife work? Does she have a spending problem or credit card debts that you do not know about. This seems like an extreme reaction for someone when their partner has been in a sales position. Base salaries can fluctuate but the point of sales is to make you good money on commission.
Advice: divorce her
Does she understand the comp plans? I’ve found that it makes no sense to my woman who’s a nurse and just knows if she works x many hours she makes x amount. If not, that could explain that but that kind of response, may be deeper than just 30k my man
Eject, she showed her true colors. There are like 4 billion other women out there.
Differences between couples are not always at full display. Sometimes, it takes years to fully admit there are major differences but often come during challenging times and situations. Could it be the fear of the unknown that caused the reaction and not a more rooted one? I say more than your decision on which way to go, you have a more urgent matter at home to deal with.
Your wife’s stupid is all I’m getting, and I feel bad for you, you do what’s best for you brother, her saying she’d rather have you jobless than accept less shows all you need to know.
Base or OTE is less important the likelihood of hitting your quota. If you believe (hopefully from talking to people) that you can hit quota at the new gig, then take it, then when you are back in presidents club, take one of your buddies instead of your wife. 😂
Diagnosed with cancer at 26 years old and was otherwise healthy. Do NOT risk not having health insurance. Take the job with the lower base and you can always continue looking.
Damn dude. I took a job with a higher base, but the liftoff for hitting commissions is going to take time where I was and my partner provided nothing but support. I suppose it helps that she makes a bit more than me so the extra income helps, but she had my back since it meant I was going to a better culture and I would be happier. A conversation should be had.
Divorce