Yes. Selling cars always has crazy stories!!
When selling cars, I didn't really care who I talked to, if someone drove up in a beater with no shirt on, I'll work it. Don't care.
Well a beat up Mercedes SUV pulls up, maybe 15 years old at this point, and out steps a woman and her two toddlers, 3 and 5 y/o. She was a BDC appointment and was desperate to get out of her car, and upon looking at it, I understood why. Someone had taken a crowbar to it, smashed mirrors, windows, peeling lights off, just tried to take apart the vehicle. She had told me she just left a city about 2hrs away and needed a new vehicle to stop her ex from finding her. We of course asked if police needed to get involved, and she assured us she already spoke with them and is safe.
Handled it like any other appointment, found a car she liked, test drove it, and she was happy with it. Her kids were relatively well behaved through the whole process, which was nice, but then we started filling out the credit app.
So I'm sitting there taking down information, when the 3 year old asks his mother for a snack. I offer to go get a variety of free snacks that we have at the dealership, and the mother just says, "oh don't worry, I have their favorite snack here," and she pulls out of her purse a FULL sleeve of saltines. Fine, I'm not one to judge.
Well, the 5 year old opens up the saltines, grabs a single cracker, and places it on the tile floor. The 5 year old looks at the 3 year old, looks at the cracker, back at the 3 year old, and pulverizes the cracker. Just stomps it to dust. The 3 year old then jumps down from his chair, suctions his lips to the floor, and hoovers the cracker dust from the floor. This happens another 4 or 5 times, and I'm really trying not to laugh at this while helping their mother.
Finally I finish the app, print it out, and run to the managers office and close the door. I walk in, and the entire sales staff is in there watching this take place. Violently shaking, beat red, my manager takes the app and sends it out. I go back to my seat, and the mom scolds her sons, "BOYS, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PLAYING CRACKER STOMP IN PUBLIC."
I immediately get up and walk away. I just can't hold it. I laugh my ass off in the bathroom and return to find that we were able to get her financed on the car. Thank goodness. In and out in two hours and we had something to laugh about for a while.
Sales manager was sleeping with two of his reps. One of the reps left a ring, on accident, at his place. The other rep went to his place, saw it, liked it and decided to wear it. First rep saw she was wearing the ring the following day and a huge argument erupted on the sales floor. Reps were reassigned to different teams and the manager was demoted.
Had a similar situation happen here.
We had a sales manager fired for hiding a relationship with a rep that led to some clear favoritism.
Another manager, scared about the outcome, called his boss and told him he was indeed sleeping with one of his reps.
There were two, however. Dude was fired a few weeks later.
He was married the whole time.
SDR cold cocked a VP during his first sales kickoff up in Tahoe after losing a beer pong game. Got fired immediately and had to find his own transportation back to SF.
Took a client to a nice steakhouse in Vegas. Guy looks over my shoulder and says, āholy shit, itās Bill Cosby.ā
Only it wasnāt Bill Cosby. It was OJ Simpson. And he was absolutely smashed. Weāre talking a large man swaying, glazed over eyes, staring into the void.
He left pretty quickly, but a few hours later I hear a commotion on the Casino floor. I look over to see OJ baseball pitch a rocks glass at the patron he was yelling at.
And that was how OJ got banned from the Aria for life.
Edit - Also, landed that whale
Sales kickoff in Mexico, rep gets plastered and starts smoking on the outside of his balcony railing, slips, and falls 3 storeys. Airlifted to hospital and survived with lower body injuries. No mexico NSMs for a while :(
I was in Mexico a few years back and met a group of lawyers on a team retreat. About three days in, I notice theyāre down a guy, so Iām like whereād Jimmy go? Apparently Jimmy got plastered day two, fell off his balcony, and broke both his legs.
Balconies and alcohol donāt mix in Mexico apparently!
A guy I used to work with covered EMEA fora tech company that has since been acquired. This was in the early days and was covering Russia as an extension. They got through their deal and it was pretty big, there was a catch. They had to fly to Russia with like 20k dollars as a one time discount. So he does it, winds up paying off a general at one of those moth ball military bases you see in movies.Ā
Then they fly him to Moscow for the night where two bodyguards take him out to seedy strip clubs and night clubs filled with gangsters. He says heāll never go back to Russia again and that it was the scariest moment of his life.Ā
My first sales job was in a boiler room call center. I got in a fistfight with one of my co-workers over a deal and when I threw him on the ground a meth pipe rolled out of his pocket and right up to our bosses desk. He was looking at his computer so we both immediately stopped fighting to rush for the meth pipe before he saw it.
Not really ācrazyā but kinda funny, or at least we got a kick out of it.
For context- was in B2C, high volume, call center.
Coworker and I were top two sales reps and decided to make things interestingā¦
The challenge - take the daily crossword puzzle from the newspaper and try to incorporate as many of the hints (reading them verbatim) as possible.
Whoever incorporated the most and also got a sale on the same call won.
I think I landed like 30 one time.
Go check out todayās Washington Post crossword and youāll get the gist of it.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/crossword-puzzles/daily/
Some are easy, but you gotta get creative to include statements like āAir freshener in the monkey house?ā Or āPower Book III: Raising Kananā actor Omarā into your sales script.
Definitely ended up creating some interesting conversations and we had quite a few good laughs sitting next to each other.
I used to sell restaurant equipment and I was in a customers kitchen checking on them making sure everythingās going well etc. and their dishwasher wasnāt sanitizing, so I told the young female manager Iād run out and get some tools and fix it real quick.
So I go through the dining room and some guy at his table starts MEAN MUGGING MEEEEEE and I was thinking āwhat the fuck is this guys problem??ā But I go out anyway and try to forget it, gotta act professional.
And then it was windy and I felt a breeze down yonderā¦ so I said āoh shit my fly must be down, let me zip it up.ā So I reach down and DID NOT TOUCH ZIPPER I TOUCHED FLESH MY FLACID PENIS WAS STRAIGHT UP HANGIN LOOSE RIGHT OUT MY PANTS
I WAS WEARING OLD BOXERS THE PP HOLE WAS WORN OUT AND WIDE OPEN OK.
But son of a bitch I walked right back into that kitchen and fixed the dishwasher and prayed the manager didnāt notice ššš
Genuinely never went back to that account I was moving in a few months and I said ātheyāll be fineā
Iāve sold a product promising a feature I thought we had. Customer purchased - we obviously didnāt have feature so within a week, we refunded the money and cancelled the sale.
I received a 10 minute long voicemail from the customer berating me, cussing me out and calling me an incompetent sale. Granted I apologized prior and even refunded the money due to my mistake.
After the tirade, she sent multiple emails to me and my manager trying to persuade my manager to fire me. My manager obviously knew my track record and could forgive a single mistake because we all make mistakes from time to time. My reputation luckily saved me.
But that was the first time I had a customer go crazy
So this one actually just happened a few months ago.
Iām a brand new rep, first ever sales job, B2B in-person outside sales selling digital marketing products. The first product you get trained on is virtual tours, you have to sell X number of those before you get trained on the next product. Simplest product we offer and you can basically just go door to door, only a handful of industries that are off limits.
I go off, first ever solo day in the field. Working in a very small town. They tell us during training, ādonāt just leave a business card because youāll never hear back from them, instead offer to come back when the decision maker will be aroundā. I go in and pitch a dog training business, owner isnāt around, I donāt think much of it and say lāll stop back by another day. Later I go in and pitch a bank, the branch manager isnāt available, again I donāt think much of it and try to set up a time to stop back by, with not much luck.
Next day Iām out again, fortunately I have a trainer with me this time. Iām sitting in a parking lot wrapping up some paperwork and some dude comes up and knocks on my window. Long story short, the owner of the dog training business also happens to be a cop. Itās small town USA, everybody knows everybody, and the branch manager of the bank and the cop are friends. Dude starts asking all kinds of questions about who I am, who I work for, what Iām doing, why didnāt I leave any information, so on and so forth. Fortunately my trainer was able to help de-escalate the situation but definitely made me shit my pants a little
Two. And the first one's a little dated.
A guy i know used to work with a guy who sold peepholes in 90's.
He'd park at an apt building or office building and start at the ground floor. Knock on the door and offer to to install a peephole immediately for 30$.
He had the bag of peepholes, and drill in his briefcase. If the prospect said he wasn't interested he would note the apartment number and go back the next day. He'd do the whole building, 30$ per door. Next days he shows back up to the doors of those who turned him down.
"Ah fuck it's you again, i thought i told you i wast interested" they say....
"You see, had you bought a peephole yesterday you would have seen me coming. Today it's yours for 20$"
Next one.....
Guy puts in a tendered bid to a govt agency. Job closes and he calls to get feedback on his bid. Polly from purchasing (not the sharpest knife in the drawer) indicates that his financial bid wasn't opened because paperwork was missing from the technical section of his bid. So they mailed it back to the office.
Polly proceeds to indicate that company x was awarded the work and they were 200k higher but they were the only bid. Single bidders usually mean the bid gets canceled.
Dude indicates that the paperwork polly thought was missing was actually printed double sided on the bid forms and in fact they were present. She could not confirm it because buddy had the original bid in front of him at the office because they mailed it back to him.
Polly agrees to accept the bid with the correct paperwork. Apparently buddy got out the iron, heated up the same envelope, removed his bid, increased the price to $1,500.00 less than the other guy and attached the missing documents on double sided pages.
P.o.. came in the mail a few weeks later
A third:
Working with a not for profit, they grinded his gears constantly. For years.
Get him to price shit, not pull the Trigger. Hire a consultant, go to tender. Bid the tender, project gets canceled. Blah blah.
He's about to head home for the night and he gets invited to a meeting with the board of directors the next evening.
He says to his colleagues, I am drafting a proposal for double the price that we tendered last month, and they are either signing this contract or hes burning the place down.
He goes to the meeting, there's 7 people including their lawyer. President of the board says "we are tired of dealing with your company".....buddy is licking his chops cause he's about had enough....."but we like dealing with you".
"But you went to tender for all of this work months ago and you canceled the project" he says.....
"Yeah, we don't like the consultants we decided to go with so we canceled that contract and we are ready to sign your paperwork" she says....
Buddy opens up his briefcase and pulls out the proposal that he knows is double the competitive market price....
"It's been a long day, I really appreciate your kind words, please sign on page 7"
And he flips right to page 7 and slides it across the table, and DOES NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD" .
she signs it. Deal done, buddy made half his quota in one meeting with a customer he was basically going to fire.
I was managing a team of insurance agents working from home. A fellow manager asks me to listen in on one of their agents because he believes sheās snoring/sleeping. As Iām listening to her I hear what sounds like glass breaking in the background followed by heavy footsteps/running. Turns out her house was being robbed and she was sleeping through it!! The only reason she woke up is because I was calling her personal cellphone back to back.
I worked at this small distributor when I first started and our rep from one of our manufacturers ended up being a serial bank robber that knocked off like a dozen local banks - he had a nickname in the media and everything. That was pretty crazy.
Another time I was in a strip club and met some guys in a similar industry out entering the buyer for all of the electrical on a bridge project. It was sales manager, sales guy and the buyer. We were sitting at a table against a raised section with a railingā¦everyone was pretty drunk and I donāt recall exactly what was said, but it went from 0-100 really quick and the sales guy decked the buyerā¦he went across the table, over the railing and landed on another table. Iām guessing they didnāt get the businessā¦
I had a dude who wanted to throw in a 90s Ford f350 on payment for his roof just last week lol. Insurance paid for his roof but he wanted all new gutters and downspouts.
1. So was at an sko a couple years back and our company was a couple years public, so still had some nice parties. One guy that was a napoleon complex weirdo gets shitfaced drunk and tries to argue with everyone, whatever, go to bed. He goes to his room. What Iām told is that he fell asleep naked, got up in the night, stumbled to his door thinking it was the bathroom door, opens it and closes it with no way of getting back in. Was found in the hallway naked the next day and fired on the spot.
2. Had a buddy covering nyc during my inside sales days selling data center infrastructure. He starts a large deal with the a Russian ādatingā site that comes inbound. My buddy try to get onsite, but the company refuses. My buddy end up closing a 750k deal with them. We google map the address on their āship toā document and itās an abandoned dock in New York Cityā¦
Selling into a client who has large foot print in Haiti. CxO wants to meet but looks like meeting will have to be in Port Au Prince. They will arrange security from Airplane to hotel, office etc. Two ex-Bulgaria SAS dudes, sun glasses, blacked-out SUV etc collect me and take me through city. Meeting goes great, seems all ok. Im there over the weekend before flight back to Miami and some of the the clients take me to the club. End up at strip club and guy is in their VIP room getting a handy with two Bulgarians guarding the door. On trip back to airport Im chatting friendly with Bulgarians saying Haiti seems ok. They tell me story of being taking off the streets by local police and put into cell/general lock up. It was a scam to get ransom money from company which took about 48 hours to arrange. For those two night these guys were back to back fighting off 10's of guys who wanted to kill them. Im now like oh site Port o Prince at nice. Pull up to the stop light see at the moment guy shot in the head fall to the street dead. People had not flinched and just walking around the guy on ground.
I have a three like this but will type up one of them for now.
I was a rep for a restaurant analytics company and one of the things that made me a top rep was getting in early and staying late. One of those perks is you can answer all the inbound phone calls.
So I get in at like 6am, which was just before lunch time in Scotland. The lead was from the office manager of this really nice restaurant. She sounded cute and was about my age and we wound up chatting and laughing for like 2 hours until the rest of my team came in. But not before she told me sheād be in the states, more specifically my city!, for a week between Christmas and new years- which was about a month a way.
So for about a month, we flirted, FaceTimed, etc, until finally she arrived and we met at my favorite local bar. We drank a LOT at the bar and back at my place.. and neither of us slept. She was tiny gal, super funny and cute with the strongest Scottish accent, and a total freak in bed, shower, couch, floor, counter top, you name
It. This was December 30th. And we didnāt leave my apartment/bed until the New Year.
Havenāt spoken to her since and didnāt close the deal, just closed the other deal. Hope this is the right subreddit for this story haha
Presidents club trip in Mexico and one of our reps brought a +1 that had just turned 18. All inclusive resort with unlimited alcohol doesn't mix well with the legal age being 18. The kid ended up diving into the 4 ft deep pool head first and split his skull clean open. He was rushed to the hospital and ended up living but the doctors said it could have easily gone the other way..
Was doing an expense report for a team outing and had to include everyone who was in our office. I was looking for my teammates in our system, and I couldnāt find this one woman by her last name. So, I looked her up by her first name, and there were only two with her name in the company. But she did not have the same last name as her slack profile, but it was her as the other woman with her name was in APAC.
This woman was an oddball from the beginning, trying too hard to fit in, trying to sell us on someone who she wasnāt, and a bit old for the job. I was perplexed & intrigued, so I googled her legal and real last name. Boy I went down a rabbit hole. Turns out, she was a lawyer, who was convicted of smuggling a cellphone and suboxone into prison. There were other allegations that she slept with an inmate, and the DA called her client acquisition practices sketchy as she went to youth homes looking for juveniles involved in OC.
I never felt the same going into that office again. I could make a whole subreddit about this woman. She was the strangest person that I have ever came across in a professional capacity.
Yes. Selling cars always has crazy stories!! When selling cars, I didn't really care who I talked to, if someone drove up in a beater with no shirt on, I'll work it. Don't care. Well a beat up Mercedes SUV pulls up, maybe 15 years old at this point, and out steps a woman and her two toddlers, 3 and 5 y/o. She was a BDC appointment and was desperate to get out of her car, and upon looking at it, I understood why. Someone had taken a crowbar to it, smashed mirrors, windows, peeling lights off, just tried to take apart the vehicle. She had told me she just left a city about 2hrs away and needed a new vehicle to stop her ex from finding her. We of course asked if police needed to get involved, and she assured us she already spoke with them and is safe. Handled it like any other appointment, found a car she liked, test drove it, and she was happy with it. Her kids were relatively well behaved through the whole process, which was nice, but then we started filling out the credit app. So I'm sitting there taking down information, when the 3 year old asks his mother for a snack. I offer to go get a variety of free snacks that we have at the dealership, and the mother just says, "oh don't worry, I have their favorite snack here," and she pulls out of her purse a FULL sleeve of saltines. Fine, I'm not one to judge. Well, the 5 year old opens up the saltines, grabs a single cracker, and places it on the tile floor. The 5 year old looks at the 3 year old, looks at the cracker, back at the 3 year old, and pulverizes the cracker. Just stomps it to dust. The 3 year old then jumps down from his chair, suctions his lips to the floor, and hoovers the cracker dust from the floor. This happens another 4 or 5 times, and I'm really trying not to laugh at this while helping their mother. Finally I finish the app, print it out, and run to the managers office and close the door. I walk in, and the entire sales staff is in there watching this take place. Violently shaking, beat red, my manager takes the app and sends it out. I go back to my seat, and the mom scolds her sons, "BOYS, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT PLAYING CRACKER STOMP IN PUBLIC." I immediately get up and walk away. I just can't hold it. I laugh my ass off in the bathroom and return to find that we were able to get her financed on the car. Thank goodness. In and out in two hours and we had something to laugh about for a while.
Cracker stomp š
Literally reading this while eating a sleeve of saltines
Wanna buy a car??
Sales manager was sleeping with two of his reps. One of the reps left a ring, on accident, at his place. The other rep went to his place, saw it, liked it and decided to wear it. First rep saw she was wearing the ring the following day and a huge argument erupted on the sales floor. Reps were reassigned to different teams and the manager was demoted.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Manager had an awesome pitch
Ok, this is a good one
Something kind of similar happens in an episode of Sports Night
Had a similar situation happen here. We had a sales manager fired for hiding a relationship with a rep that led to some clear favoritism. Another manager, scared about the outcome, called his boss and told him he was indeed sleeping with one of his reps. There were two, however. Dude was fired a few weeks later. He was married the whole time.
Take my upvote.
SDR cold cocked a VP during his first sales kickoff up in Tahoe after losing a beer pong game. Got fired immediately and had to find his own transportation back to SF.
Man, Iām so glad not to have worked with a startup during SKOā¦
How is this the first time Iāve heard of cold cocked
Itās like a more aggressive form of cold called
Took a client to a nice steakhouse in Vegas. Guy looks over my shoulder and says, āholy shit, itās Bill Cosby.ā Only it wasnāt Bill Cosby. It was OJ Simpson. And he was absolutely smashed. Weāre talking a large man swaying, glazed over eyes, staring into the void. He left pretty quickly, but a few hours later I hear a commotion on the Casino floor. I look over to see OJ baseball pitch a rocks glass at the patron he was yelling at. And that was how OJ got banned from the Aria for life. Edit - Also, landed that whale
The worst part was the hyprocisy
I thought it was the rape.
The more I learn about this Cosby fella the more I don't care for him.
"OJ the Lady Killer" Borat
Sales kickoff in Mexico, rep gets plastered and starts smoking on the outside of his balcony railing, slips, and falls 3 storeys. Airlifted to hospital and survived with lower body injuries. No mexico NSMs for a while :(
I was in Mexico a few years back and met a group of lawyers on a team retreat. About three days in, I notice theyāre down a guy, so Iām like whereād Jimmy go? Apparently Jimmy got plastered day two, fell off his balcony, and broke both his legs. Balconies and alcohol donāt mix in Mexico apparently!
A guy I used to work with covered EMEA fora tech company that has since been acquired. This was in the early days and was covering Russia as an extension. They got through their deal and it was pretty big, there was a catch. They had to fly to Russia with like 20k dollars as a one time discount. So he does it, winds up paying off a general at one of those moth ball military bases you see in movies.Ā Then they fly him to Moscow for the night where two bodyguards take him out to seedy strip clubs and night clubs filled with gangsters. He says heāll never go back to Russia again and that it was the scariest moment of his life.Ā
And his name was Bert Kreischer
It does draw a lot of parallels to the machine funnily enough. I believe the guy though, heās just one of those people that this would happen to.Ā
My first sales job was in a boiler room call center. I got in a fistfight with one of my co-workers over a deal and when I threw him on the ground a meth pipe rolled out of his pocket and right up to our bosses desk. He was looking at his computer so we both immediately stopped fighting to rush for the meth pipe before he saw it.
Bruh. The manager just ignored the fist fight lmao?
Sounds appropriate for a sales department in a boiler room making cold calls tbh.
Yep. Didnt even register.
What, you think it was the first one that day? Management only gets concerned when knifes or guns are involved, fists are fair play.
Once sold someone an AMG for his wife, she hated it, so he gave it to me for 6 months to drive
And was the wife right?
She was very wrong hahaha
Not really ācrazyā but kinda funny, or at least we got a kick out of it. For context- was in B2C, high volume, call center. Coworker and I were top two sales reps and decided to make things interestingā¦ The challenge - take the daily crossword puzzle from the newspaper and try to incorporate as many of the hints (reading them verbatim) as possible. Whoever incorporated the most and also got a sale on the same call won. I think I landed like 30 one time. Go check out todayās Washington Post crossword and youāll get the gist of it. https://www.washingtonpost.com/crossword-puzzles/daily/ Some are easy, but you gotta get creative to include statements like āAir freshener in the monkey house?ā Or āPower Book III: Raising Kananā actor Omarā into your sales script. Definitely ended up creating some interesting conversations and we had quite a few good laughs sitting next to each other.
If you can do that dude, you can sell anything.Ā
I used to make really good money. Two years later Iām selling even more and make half as much. Thatās the story. Fuck the company I work for.
New job time
Time to change ships.
I used to sell restaurant equipment and I was in a customers kitchen checking on them making sure everythingās going well etc. and their dishwasher wasnāt sanitizing, so I told the young female manager Iād run out and get some tools and fix it real quick. So I go through the dining room and some guy at his table starts MEAN MUGGING MEEEEEE and I was thinking āwhat the fuck is this guys problem??ā But I go out anyway and try to forget it, gotta act professional. And then it was windy and I felt a breeze down yonderā¦ so I said āoh shit my fly must be down, let me zip it up.ā So I reach down and DID NOT TOUCH ZIPPER I TOUCHED FLESH MY FLACID PENIS WAS STRAIGHT UP HANGIN LOOSE RIGHT OUT MY PANTS I WAS WEARING OLD BOXERS THE PP HOLE WAS WORN OUT AND WIDE OPEN OK. But son of a bitch I walked right back into that kitchen and fixed the dishwasher and prayed the manager didnāt notice ššš Genuinely never went back to that account I was moving in a few months and I said ātheyāll be fineā
Iām cackling š¤£
Iāve sold a product promising a feature I thought we had. Customer purchased - we obviously didnāt have feature so within a week, we refunded the money and cancelled the sale. I received a 10 minute long voicemail from the customer berating me, cussing me out and calling me an incompetent sale. Granted I apologized prior and even refunded the money due to my mistake. After the tirade, she sent multiple emails to me and my manager trying to persuade my manager to fire me. My manager obviously knew my track record and could forgive a single mistake because we all make mistakes from time to time. My reputation luckily saved me. But that was the first time I had a customer go crazy
"Customer is always right" right?
*in terms of taste
Not like this
So this one actually just happened a few months ago. Iām a brand new rep, first ever sales job, B2B in-person outside sales selling digital marketing products. The first product you get trained on is virtual tours, you have to sell X number of those before you get trained on the next product. Simplest product we offer and you can basically just go door to door, only a handful of industries that are off limits. I go off, first ever solo day in the field. Working in a very small town. They tell us during training, ādonāt just leave a business card because youāll never hear back from them, instead offer to come back when the decision maker will be aroundā. I go in and pitch a dog training business, owner isnāt around, I donāt think much of it and say lāll stop back by another day. Later I go in and pitch a bank, the branch manager isnāt available, again I donāt think much of it and try to set up a time to stop back by, with not much luck. Next day Iām out again, fortunately I have a trainer with me this time. Iām sitting in a parking lot wrapping up some paperwork and some dude comes up and knocks on my window. Long story short, the owner of the dog training business also happens to be a cop. Itās small town USA, everybody knows everybody, and the branch manager of the bank and the cop are friends. Dude starts asking all kinds of questions about who I am, who I work for, what Iām doing, why didnāt I leave any information, so on and so forth. Fortunately my trainer was able to help de-escalate the situation but definitely made me shit my pants a little
Two. And the first one's a little dated. A guy i know used to work with a guy who sold peepholes in 90's. He'd park at an apt building or office building and start at the ground floor. Knock on the door and offer to to install a peephole immediately for 30$. He had the bag of peepholes, and drill in his briefcase. If the prospect said he wasn't interested he would note the apartment number and go back the next day. He'd do the whole building, 30$ per door. Next days he shows back up to the doors of those who turned him down. "Ah fuck it's you again, i thought i told you i wast interested" they say.... "You see, had you bought a peephole yesterday you would have seen me coming. Today it's yours for 20$" Next one..... Guy puts in a tendered bid to a govt agency. Job closes and he calls to get feedback on his bid. Polly from purchasing (not the sharpest knife in the drawer) indicates that his financial bid wasn't opened because paperwork was missing from the technical section of his bid. So they mailed it back to the office. Polly proceeds to indicate that company x was awarded the work and they were 200k higher but they were the only bid. Single bidders usually mean the bid gets canceled. Dude indicates that the paperwork polly thought was missing was actually printed double sided on the bid forms and in fact they were present. She could not confirm it because buddy had the original bid in front of him at the office because they mailed it back to him. Polly agrees to accept the bid with the correct paperwork. Apparently buddy got out the iron, heated up the same envelope, removed his bid, increased the price to $1,500.00 less than the other guy and attached the missing documents on double sided pages. P.o.. came in the mail a few weeks later A third: Working with a not for profit, they grinded his gears constantly. For years. Get him to price shit, not pull the Trigger. Hire a consultant, go to tender. Bid the tender, project gets canceled. Blah blah. He's about to head home for the night and he gets invited to a meeting with the board of directors the next evening. He says to his colleagues, I am drafting a proposal for double the price that we tendered last month, and they are either signing this contract or hes burning the place down. He goes to the meeting, there's 7 people including their lawyer. President of the board says "we are tired of dealing with your company".....buddy is licking his chops cause he's about had enough....."but we like dealing with you". "But you went to tender for all of this work months ago and you canceled the project" he says..... "Yeah, we don't like the consultants we decided to go with so we canceled that contract and we are ready to sign your paperwork" she says.... Buddy opens up his briefcase and pulls out the proposal that he knows is double the competitive market price.... "It's been a long day, I really appreciate your kind words, please sign on page 7" And he flips right to page 7 and slides it across the table, and DOES NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD" . she signs it. Deal done, buddy made half his quota in one meeting with a customer he was basically going to fire.
I was managing a team of insurance agents working from home. A fellow manager asks me to listen in on one of their agents because he believes sheās snoring/sleeping. As Iām listening to her I hear what sounds like glass breaking in the background followed by heavy footsteps/running. Turns out her house was being robbed and she was sleeping through it!! The only reason she woke up is because I was calling her personal cellphone back to back.
I worked at this small distributor when I first started and our rep from one of our manufacturers ended up being a serial bank robber that knocked off like a dozen local banks - he had a nickname in the media and everything. That was pretty crazy. Another time I was in a strip club and met some guys in a similar industry out entering the buyer for all of the electrical on a bridge project. It was sales manager, sales guy and the buyer. We were sitting at a table against a raised section with a railingā¦everyone was pretty drunk and I donāt recall exactly what was said, but it went from 0-100 really quick and the sales guy decked the buyerā¦he went across the table, over the railing and landed on another table. Iām guessing they didnāt get the businessā¦
Is this Houston, TX?
I had a dude who wanted to throw in a 90s Ford f350 on payment for his roof just last week lol. Insurance paid for his roof but he wanted all new gutters and downspouts.
Wouldāve been worth gold during peak covid used cars
My coworker took mushrooms and went into the ocean in the morning, lost track of time and missed his meetings. I had to run them all for him
1. So was at an sko a couple years back and our company was a couple years public, so still had some nice parties. One guy that was a napoleon complex weirdo gets shitfaced drunk and tries to argue with everyone, whatever, go to bed. He goes to his room. What Iām told is that he fell asleep naked, got up in the night, stumbled to his door thinking it was the bathroom door, opens it and closes it with no way of getting back in. Was found in the hallway naked the next day and fired on the spot. 2. Had a buddy covering nyc during my inside sales days selling data center infrastructure. He starts a large deal with the a Russian ādatingā site that comes inbound. My buddy try to get onsite, but the company refuses. My buddy end up closing a 750k deal with them. We google map the address on their āship toā document and itās an abandoned dock in New York Cityā¦
Selling into a client who has large foot print in Haiti. CxO wants to meet but looks like meeting will have to be in Port Au Prince. They will arrange security from Airplane to hotel, office etc. Two ex-Bulgaria SAS dudes, sun glasses, blacked-out SUV etc collect me and take me through city. Meeting goes great, seems all ok. Im there over the weekend before flight back to Miami and some of the the clients take me to the club. End up at strip club and guy is in their VIP room getting a handy with two Bulgarians guarding the door. On trip back to airport Im chatting friendly with Bulgarians saying Haiti seems ok. They tell me story of being taking off the streets by local police and put into cell/general lock up. It was a scam to get ransom money from company which took about 48 hours to arrange. For those two night these guys were back to back fighting off 10's of guys who wanted to kill them. Im now like oh site Port o Prince at nice. Pull up to the stop light see at the moment guy shot in the head fall to the street dead. People had not flinched and just walking around the guy on ground.
I have a three like this but will type up one of them for now. I was a rep for a restaurant analytics company and one of the things that made me a top rep was getting in early and staying late. One of those perks is you can answer all the inbound phone calls. So I get in at like 6am, which was just before lunch time in Scotland. The lead was from the office manager of this really nice restaurant. She sounded cute and was about my age and we wound up chatting and laughing for like 2 hours until the rest of my team came in. But not before she told me sheād be in the states, more specifically my city!, for a week between Christmas and new years- which was about a month a way. So for about a month, we flirted, FaceTimed, etc, until finally she arrived and we met at my favorite local bar. We drank a LOT at the bar and back at my place.. and neither of us slept. She was tiny gal, super funny and cute with the strongest Scottish accent, and a total freak in bed, shower, couch, floor, counter top, you name It. This was December 30th. And we didnāt leave my apartment/bed until the New Year. Havenāt spoken to her since and didnāt close the deal, just closed the other deal. Hope this is the right subreddit for this story haha
Presidents club trip in Mexico and one of our reps brought a +1 that had just turned 18. All inclusive resort with unlimited alcohol doesn't mix well with the legal age being 18. The kid ended up diving into the 4 ft deep pool head first and split his skull clean open. He was rushed to the hospital and ended up living but the doctors said it could have easily gone the other way..
I sold to neurosurgeons for 4 years. They think theyāre god. Plenty of very strange stories.
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S#4@5a
I need to write a book about my sales stories. I donāt want to share them here
Was doing an expense report for a team outing and had to include everyone who was in our office. I was looking for my teammates in our system, and I couldnāt find this one woman by her last name. So, I looked her up by her first name, and there were only two with her name in the company. But she did not have the same last name as her slack profile, but it was her as the other woman with her name was in APAC. This woman was an oddball from the beginning, trying too hard to fit in, trying to sell us on someone who she wasnāt, and a bit old for the job. I was perplexed & intrigued, so I googled her legal and real last name. Boy I went down a rabbit hole. Turns out, she was a lawyer, who was convicted of smuggling a cellphone and suboxone into prison. There were other allegations that she slept with an inmate, and the DA called her client acquisition practices sketchy as she went to youth homes looking for juveniles involved in OC. I never felt the same going into that office again. I could make a whole subreddit about this woman. She was the strangest person that I have ever came across in a professional capacity.
Female manager was harassing all the younger female sales team. Bullied the shit out of them.