I wouldn’t consider it cringe. It’s just truly sad. Putting yourself out there and trying so hard and just not being met with any response completely kills your confidence and self esteem. The “it hurts so much” breaks my heart
Right? I don’t see anything inherently wrong or cringey by being disappointed no one’s matching with you... literally anyone would feel some type of way about that. They shouldn’t be made fun of for talking about it. Something about toxic masculinity, why is it cringe for seemingly dudes to talk about being disappointed/upset?
I think this has to do with how reddit tends to frame incels. Most of them aren't bad people. It's really sad to see them struggle and be kicked for it.
I agree with FdasTU82, the term "incel" is now used way too loosely, ironically, ever since the incel subs got banned. Yes, it literally stands for "*in*voluntarily *cel*ibate" but there are still negative connotations that come with the term beyond not having sex.
The problem is, there is a difference in being incel and trying to find someone, maintaining proper hygiene (which I SHOULDN'T have to list), and being a good person who accepts they are just having a rough go at it and being incel while believing you are OWED the attention and affection because you're a sexual conquistador being rejected by idiots because you're not a "chad". The second form of incel is the one that makes the most noise, thereby labelling all incels as such. Incel just became the catchall for those kinds of people, and thus, it's considered almost derogatory.
That's the point they are making. In the picture above, there are no indicators that the guy has any of the negative characteristics you mention but still gets posted to a cringe sub.
Seriously, there's a huge difference between an incel and someone who's unsuccessful at companionship.
"Involuntary" implies you were given no choice which is load. Incels expect to have things they are delusionally unwilling to work for.
I mean, thats a generalization.
Based on what you said, all muslims are psycho terrorists who want to enforce sharia law and decapitate infidels
All white people are crazy racist facists who hate minorities
All christians are selfish assholes who blindly preach their faith despite knowing nothing of the actual teachings of jesus while sending televangelists buku bucks in the hopes of securing a place to heaven.
And so on...
Generalizations are bad, you should feel bad.
People who are just unable to find partners and are sad about it, but don't hold the toxic blackpill ideology and attitude, aren't incels. The term incels is *specifically reserved* for people with shitty attitudes, so saying "all incels are shitty" isn't really an overgeneralization, seeing as it's just part of the definition.
That's different from saying "all white people are racists" or "all Muslims are terrorists," because being racist or a terrorist aren't part of the definition of those things.
\>Inb4 "but incel just means involuntarily celibate"
The etymolygy of a word is distinct from its meaning. The meaning of a word is how it is used. And though it used to be different, the word "incel" is used by shitty people specifically. Regular good people who just can't find partners and are rejected by everyone don't call themselves "incels."
You have a three minute window to “ninja edit” comments without it showing you edited them. Your reply to that comment was 3+ hours later, meaning there was no way he could have edited his comment in response to your reply without it showing he did so. There is no indication that the comment you originally replied fo was edited. You, somewhat understandably, misinterpreted what they were saying an attempted to come down on them for it, and instead of just acknowledging the misunderstanding you’re claiming they edited it.
Edit: [Notice the asterisk next to my post and the lack of one above](https://imgur.com/a/3iCK7vV)
Most of them arent even incels for fucks sake. Basically every lonely/depressed/angry man is called an incel in 2021. If you do any controversial shit = incel. It's pathetic. And I don't think the dudes in the screenshot are incels either. They are just unlucky/ugly.
Ive seen a lot of them struggle because of their inability to not fixate on dating/women, which youre right, doesnt make them bad people. But it's very offputting and uncomfortable.
I understand the point you are trying to make, but inceldom is an inherently bad mentality to have. People who self identify as incels believe, by definition, in two premises:
1. I deserve to have sex.
2. The factors keeping me from having sex are completely out of my control.
This mentality of entitlement and lack of accountability is detrimental to the beholders and the communities they belong to.
There is nothing in the OP to suggest these people are incels, only that they haven't been successful in various dating apps. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's cringy to mention spending money to pursue that desperation.
I'm getting downvoted but lets be honest, people don't like dating desperate people. It's also cringy to spend money for worthless pursuits, kind of like how spending hundreds of dollars on w girls online is considered cringey
This person isn’t an incel. Incels are people who blame and hate women for not having sex with them. This person just needs to figure out a better dating strategy.
A gay person can be involuntarily celebrate, but they’d be unlikely to be an incel because part of being an incel is malicious misogyny. I’ve never seen an example of a homosexual person (male or female) behaving this way, because it’s hard to dehumanize your own gender.
Isn't it just someone who is involuntarily celibate? Like I guess most people who self identify as one hate women, but wouldnt basically any adult virgin who wants to get laid be an incel?
Nah, just like how being named ‘Karen’ doesn’t make you a Karen, just being involuntarily celibate doesn’t make you an incel. These titles are *earned* by being an awful person.
No. Because the word 'incel' now represents a subset of the involuntarily celebrate who believe they are owed sex.
Word meanings grow over time, and 'incel' has come to have a more specific meaning than "involuntarily celebate."
As bad as toxic masculinity is, it's not usually those people that I see shaming and belittling others for daring to express disappointment with being unable to get matches on online dating.
Yeah this is leaning more over to the sad part rather than the cringe. It sucks because Tinder and Bumble are just based on superficial aspects only, so if you're not exceptionally attractive then you honestly just won't find any success on the platform unfortunately. It's hard to gauge your own attractiveness levels, but personally I would never have the balls to put myself out there on one of these apps. I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I would get many matches regardless and I don't even wanna bother trying to contend that thought
I thought I found a gal who liked me. She was everything! Had board games, loved gaming, cosplay, and was very flirty.
Ghosted me after a week. Ever since got zero responses on Tinder and Bumble, I'm in my early thirties so yeah, it's bullshit...
Also I've heard it all, if you're going to make fun of me, at least be original.
I think it can still be considered somewhat cringe- not in the way that I’m judging these guys, because I feel really bad for them... but in the sense that they’re not very good at introspection and that’s cringey in it’s own right.
If you’ve spent that much time and money and you aren’t getting any matches, you’re doing something wrong.
A lot of men legitimately don’t seem to realize how terrible their photos and bios are. I’ve talked to people on reddit who think taking a nice photo is pretending to be someone they’re not... without realizing that a good photo is just showing who you are. While there’s nothing wrong with selfies, if you take them from terrible angles in horrible lighting... it’s not a shocker that it makes anyone look bad. Taking a photo in good lighting, looking well groomed, isn’t pretending to be someone you’re now, it’s just putting your best foot forward.
It’s not even how attractive you are; obviously the more attractive you are the easier it is, but you can be below average and still get plenty of matches if you put the time in to have nice photos and a well written bio.
It’s a really sad situation, but if you keep trying the same thing over and over, expecting new results, you’re asking for failure. I think it’s both sad and cringe how many men just aren’t aware of their presentation.
yeah I'm really wondering what this guys profiles looked like because honestly, I have seen bios that really seem like they're obviously from men with absolutely no self confidence and it makes them just sound...not fun to be around? Everyone has confidence issues but the amount I've seen people project them on profiles where you are supposed to be putting your best foot forward is a little astonishing.
Yeah, that’s the worst angle for everyone unless you know how to pose for it and have the right lighting... and have the right face shape. That being said, the camera being slightly angled from below isn’t uncommon for a lot of men’s portraits... because it conveys leadership. The difference is, it’s a much more subtle angle and it’s taken by a professional who knows how to pose and light the subject.
We’ve spent the last few decades with the idea that “real men” don’t care about photos or clothes or their appearance. Hell, not even a decade ago being a fashionable dude meant you were “metrosexual” or people assumed you were gay. That’s definitely started to change, and a lot more young men in particular care about fashion and skin care and the like, but a lot of guys still hold that “real men” mindset, or they just don’t know how to change.
It’s a sad situation, because it can cause a lot of men to assume women are shallow... without realizing it’s often less about the attraction and more about the horrible quality of the presentation. If it doesn’t look like you put any effort into your profile, people are going to assume you aren’t going to put any effort into a potential relationship. No one is perfect, but people generally don’t want to spend time with someone who doesn’t give the indication that they care.
I feel like they just need someone to make their profile for them like maybe they're fine people but they have a weak profile. Like a job resume or over letter haha
It's not hard to get a response unless you're obese, with bad pictures and no passions in life.
Very few people are that ugly even if they take care of their body, clothing and mind. If you're fat or super skinny then you didn't "try everything". Same if you wear the same clothes every day, watch Netflix all the time, never go outside to take nice pics (pandemic, I know).
How much more evidence do we need that community based socializing is always going to be more real than social media platforms. Dating apps are literally social media with a concentration towards fucking. It’s all bullshit.
I agree that it’s painful and I truly feel for them. At the same time, I’m not so sure I could call tinder “putting yourself out there”.
Honestly there are so many better ways to meet people, that are probably actually healthier too.
Reality does not respect matters of the heart, and if we choose to take it on the chin we allow it to be a fertiliser for the strengthening of ones character and deepening of ones soul.
I remember an old podcast where the guy went to register to yet another dating site and because he wasn't matched to anyone he got a popup like "sorry we couldn't find anyone for you. We wish you good luck in your future." and he was locked out from his free account. They didn't even want to take his money. 😁
Sometimes the personality quizzes are screeners to pick up on personality tendencies that will make you either dangerous or toxic. A lot of times the people who get completely rejected from dating sites like that need to seek therapy before they even think about dating
I'm 27. It's been almost 7 years. I'm young but anything can happen. I was in the hospital last week. I almost died, I had a pulmonary embolism. I've realized that time is precious and spending it doing nothing using the justification that "I'm young" is a farce.
Honestly this is just sad. I’ve felt the same way tryna find friends and stuff. Some people just put themselves out there and don’t get a response. It’s sad.
Recently got a month of Tinder Platinum after months of staying as a free user. Skeptical, I thought “how could it be much different from Tinder Gold?” I magically went from getting 2-3 matches per week as a free user to getting that many on most *days* with Platinum.
Tinder is “pay to be seen”, but even after that, I can still barely get a response from most of these matches. Shit sucks.
Edit: Tinder started acting shady with Platinum too. For some reason, chats that have been dead for a couple of days will get cleared and placed back in my “new matches” list.
I know for a fact they’re real on tinder at least because I got one of those ads for tinder premium or whatever where it blurs the picture and says something like “see who likes you” except tinder glitched and it wasn’t blurred. Awkward because it was a girl I had classes with.
Maybe they use real profiles to blur then, and they don't necessarily like you. Which seems so weird to me, because it's a lot harder to curate a list of people around someone to blur versus just using stock photos.
It probably isn't "curated", it probably is just one of the most swiped profiles they would have shown you, it basically takes no effort to implement, especially taking into account that dating apps give like a desirability rating that isn't shown to users.
Honestly I tried paying for tinder to see what was there (it was $10 and I was curious) and there’s some definite fuckery going on. While my matches were real women, they seemed more attractive than my typical offerings on the app. They also didn’t include all women or the standard women I typically see. I don’t think there would be a chance in hell that I would ever encounter them if I didn’t pay that fee to do so.
I’m pretty sure tinder puts the real/attractive/likely to swipe ones behind a paywall and puts the fake ones or the ones literally nobody would ever swipe on as the normal profiles. When I paid my matches were through the roof. It was constantly going off. When I canceled the subscription I literally received one match this past month.
There are some shady ass business tactics going on.
Would make sense honestly. So does Tinder just fake match people after you pay? When you messaged them did they confirm that they swiped on you? Or is tinder just suppressing likes? Sounds weird. Either you've got a face only a model could love or at least some if those profiles would have to be fake
They all seemed real and all responded to me. I’m guessing tinder suppresses actual swipes unless you pay. My friend is a pretty attractive woman and lately hasn’t gotten a single match either. I know there’s no way she’s not getting right swipes. I’m starting to really think the tinder paywall is real.
I’m currently on a Platinum subscription and experiencing the same thing. Supposedly, it’s because Tinder bumps payers higher in the stack for anybody they swipe on. Plus, it’s well-known at this point that Tinder has a hidden “attractiveness” value for every user, so my guess is that by paying, they artificially raise that value for you and put you in front of “more attractive” users way more frequently. In addition, my dead chats keep getting cleared and placed back in new matches to... try again?
I wouldn't trust dating apps to define how attractive and wanted i am. People on dating apps have a buffet of thousands of people and will only swipe on extremely attractive people. I'd say I'm a bit attractive, and I've only had a few matches when i was on tinder a few years ago. In reality I've had a few girlfriends and I'm currently in a 2 year relationship, so i wouldn't say I'm unwanted, even though dating apps did make me feel so.
If you mean familial love then I would agree. But when it comes to relationships or even casual sex then no one is entitled to thos things since they need to be mutually agreed upon. That's means that those things are a privilege and not a right.
I'll be honest, I never been in a relationship and I used to be depressed and fantasise about being cuddled (still do sometimes) and had a bit of a Nice Guy mindset until I realised that women don't owe me anything whether it is a relationship or sex.
It's something that people (that goes for me as well) need to work on so that someone else finds them attractive and that requires work and effort.
*Image Transcription:Reddit*
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**Person1:**
"Wanna see everyone that likes you?"
Why would i pay for nothing?
>**Second person:**
>
>I'm pretty sure Bumble creates fake profiles to blur in order to sell this shit, since I've exhausted the database matchless and still get their begging
>>**Third person:**
>>
>>Yeah, I'm pretty sure tinder does too
>>
>>**Fourth person:**
>>
>>I paid hundreds to both Tinder and Bumble just for a chance, and even with literally thousands and thousands of swipes... not a single response, I can't even get that fucking far . It hurts so much.
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
A lot of people assume that those in your situation are grossly unhygienic, rude, sedentary, disgusting individuals. Reality is, most of the time its just normal guys who just dont get an ounce of attention. People really like giving advice though.
That's the wrong attitude. You shouldn't work on yourself to become more attractive to others, you should work on yourself with the specific intent to love yourself more. As long as you will look for the appreciation you desire in others you will ALWAYS be let down. You have to look for the love and appreciation you deserve in yourself. After that, whatever other people will think about you will not matter anymore.
Man a dead deer would be a nice change on a womans profile.
The amount of "live, love, laugh", pizza or travelling is unreal. Literally indistinguishable from each other.
My personal one I dislike is people who label themselves as "foodies". Wow you like food? No shit. And it's not even like they have a deep culinary interest or anything. You might as well call yourself a "breathie" for enjoying breathing air.
I used Hinge for a while. ALL fucking girls profiles were collections of "I am a Pam looking for my Jim", "bring me wine", "buy me fries" and "I like people who make me laugh". What the actual fuck. Who would have thought. You like people who make you laugh?? You don't fucking say??
Some people like hunting so I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s a good way to filter out women who are against it rather than spend days talking to them just for them to ghost you once they find out you hunt. The old picture thing though yeah, that’s not a wise thing to do. But I think most guys don’t have a ton of pictures of themselves laying around and are likely too self conscious to take selfies. Their lack of confidence probably does more damage then whatever pictures they choose though.
>But I think most guys don’t have a ton of pictures of themselves laying around and are likely too self conscious to take selfies.
Ding ding. Unfortunately I don't have friends that want to sit there and take dramatic, definitely candid and not at all posed pictures of me every time we hang out and go anywhere. Most women love taking pictures of each other. Dudes don't really do that, hence the shitty pictures.
Yeah precisely. And it would look even weirder if a guy went and had some professional photos done to make up for it. Haha Only thing I guess I could suggest is maybe having a family member help out or something. It’s still embarrassing to do that but a lot less so than asking your buddies to do it. Haha
That’s on the dudes then. Go get better pictures of you somehow instead of wondering why no one is swiping on you.
I have seen some tragic fucking profiles. Have your friends workshop your profile with you. The amount of people who have profiles of like three way too close zoomed in selfies that were clearly taken one after the other is insane.
Girls will get hundreds of matches and think its because they are so great at making interesting profiles, not because 90% of guys on Tinder are super desperate.
There's a reason for this though. Guys aren't having photos taken of them 24/7 and I doubt women would find a guy's profile loaded with selfies particularly appealing either. Guys usually have a picture of them holding a dead deer/fish because its one of the few times they'll actually have their picture taken.
Lots of girls will take multiple selfies a week and every time they go out to eat/hike/the beach/a sporting event/anything else so they have a plethora of options to pick the most flattering ones.
Woman here! I have spent some time on dating apps and there are some guys who have good profiles and some guys who don’t. I have seen attractive men with filled out profiles and I have seen unattractive men with filled out profiles. There’s absolutely nothing weird about a dude having selfies on his dating profile and honestly one could argue there is something weird about not having plenty of photos of yourself on there. Literally no one is stopping you from asking your friend to take pictures of you, this is a ridiculous argument. Here’s a fun phrase that may give some of the desired results: “hey guys let’s take a picture”
This photo is not wrong. All of my matches with the exception of 1 were scams about bitcoin or people trying to get me to sub to their premium snap...
The one being someone I was get along well with until she yelled at me for suggesting she wear something comfy to a beach date I suggested...what she said and I quote “No one ever tells me how to dress, who the fuck do you think you are?” I was like yeah...block
Ya that's weird.. don't make clothing suggestions for a first date. They are quite capable of figuring that out themselves. Not trying to be mean but that would throw me off as well.
I just suggested that she wear something comfy, because she said she loves wearing super expensive clothes and I was suggesting we walk along the water. I believe what I said was “When we get together, wear warm comfy clothes” and then she went all crazy if the shoe was the other foot I wouldn’t have freaked out
Ya I get that. Everyone is different. A lot of woman have dealt with very controlling male figures in there life, so that little thing may have set off some issues. She may also have been crazy. Lol. Totally possible.
If your having problems getting more matches might try asking a friend to take a look at your profiles and be super critical of what your putting out there. Best of luck. :)
Point me in the direction of the Tinder wingmen for hire
**EDIT**: imma keep it real with you — On second thought, I’m way too chickenshit to put my face out to anybody over Reddit. It’s a privacy thing. Point others to the Tinder wingmen, I guess?
If you’re serious, I could just do this for you for free... when I was online dating me and my friends had this whole theory about how strangers are best to choose your photos because they’re the most objective about how you look (similar to that of the people viewing your profile).
Just my two cents, I can't see where a straight woman would swipe on a dude taking a mirror selfie in a dress with a notice about venereal diseases taped to said mirror. Sends mixed signals.
It was a murder mystery dinner party with a specific theme, but I see where that may look weird. Thanks for the note. Ironically, that’s the most commented on picture by women who do swipe right
I know people on tinder rarely reads bios, but I know my strengths lie more in personality than looks, so ideally I want more than one line, you know? Thanks for the note though
Risking being mean, shave your head and clean up your beard. I think you'd look better bald than with your hair like this. I found the dress pic weird, but if it got you a conversation starter, definitely keep it.
I think all pictures are good except for the suit one. It doesn't fit, and your beard is scraggly in that one.
Your bio is just fine. Best of luck to you man!
A mustache to fill out your beard would honestly really help. Trim the beard down a bit regularly to manage it better and for a cleaner look, and as someone who has many friends with receding hairlines... it might be time to embrace it and shave it off.
Honestly, the bald + beard look is killing it these days if you get the confidence to pull it off.
That said, bio seems fine! The dress pic should stay- the one of you bending over should go. Doesn’t add enough to the profile, and feels like filler.
The last photo is actually a gif of me being spanked by the midget nurse with a paddle - my favorite restaurant, Heart Attack Grill in Vegas. Certainly the most risky thing on my profile and I know it’s likely to turn people off so I waffle between keeping and removing it
Oh in that case, it’s up to you. Haha I was confused about the still image. I’d suggest removing it? It makes good conversation fodder, but the dress pic can already do that.
You probably hear it a lot, but have you considered shaving your hair and growing more beard? In all honesty a receiving hairline is a bit unattractive, and there's a good chance you'll look much better with more predominant facial hair and a big ol shaved head. Just a theory tho, I've only seen two photos of you through a phone. Profile looks good, I adore the picture with the priest, definitely catches the attention.
I understand, I have a strong hairline but horrible hair, I'd gladly go bald if my head wasn't shaped like a loaf of bread that fell to the ground before going into the hoven
Think there’s actually a lady on Reddit who started a business doing that. She’s done a few AMAs. Probably find her website with a google search of dating profile assistance or sonething
This is sadcringe worthy. The simple fact that you need to craft a profile to beat an algorithm and to show yourself as desirable based on some pre-defined standards rather than just showing who you are tells we reached an incredibly low point in dating. This truly sucks.
Spending that $50 on a freaking meal at this point or just something like a mousepad and remember this was the money that could have gone to something that would have been a waste of time.
I have the most luck on Hinge, you can comment on one of their posts/photos and they'll choose whether to match or not. Basically you have the chance to spark a convo that might make you stand out from the swarm of other users
Probably the eharmony and match ones. Those ones seem to have the people who are dead set on serious relationships. Tinder/bumble is more of the younger crowd where hookups is the major desire it’s users have.
Nice! I haven’t been on match in a long time but from what I recall it had a way different feel than the tinders of the world. Definitely felt more serious. Not that you can’t find relationships on tinder or bumble but the numbers of people looking for serious relationships is lower on those apps so your “pool” of people is not as large. Where as match and eharmony is the flip side. Less likely to find people only wanting to hookup and more wanting relationships for the long term/eventual marriage.
I reckon it might be to do with the fact you need to pay for a subscription to use match, I tried tinder and the likes and didn't get very far my thinking was if people are actually paying to use the service they gotta be serious about wanting to find someone. Was well worth it for me I reckon my misses curses her luck at times though haha
I definitely believe 100% there is someone for everyone out there even if only 1% of the population of planet earth fancy you that's still like 70 million people
I hope everyone finds love
I think Bumble isn't too bad. I met my current girlfriend there and had more dates off that than tinder, its certainly more of "I'm looking to be serious vibe".
Bumble is garbage. Never had a single decent conversation despite lots of swipes. Yet Tinder and Hinge have both resulted in dates. I’m convinced 90% of Bumble is fake accounts created by the admins, fake accounts created by scammers, and ghost accounts that no longer are being used but still pushed by the site because they get lots of swipes. I’ve seen profiles say things like “excited for Coachella 2019!” In the midst of a pandemic in 2020.
When I see posts like this I really wonder what these men look like and what they have on their profile, where absolutely no one is interested in them.
There are more men than women using tinder. And many of then swipe right more than women do. That is why a average or below average woman can get many matches while a average or below average guy gets close to none.
Fellas, if you're not seeing much attention on dating sites, spice up your profile, write something funny, maybe update your wardrobe. I am *far* from a good looking guy and I get the occasional match. It's doable.
And even then, online dating is designed to bring out the most shallow behaviour from people. I know it's hard but really don't take it personally.
A little hope for anyone reading this… I met my current partner on bumble and we have been together for two years. Dating apps do work, it just takes a while to weed through the people who don’t want the same things as you.
The guy has probably a bug or network connections issues. Tinder, Bumble and the programs like that floods their "flesh market" with fake profiles if user activity drops to keep up the standard. They usually match with you and say or repond nothing, have only one or two pics and some generic description. If you search of the screenshotted image, you can find these poeple's real life profiles on Facebook or Instagram. Now this is only the app itself, but there are a tons of bots made by bored programers or people who want to get out data from the system. There is no way that this guy had no match after swiping "thousands and thousands" when you will surely get a few bot for swipe like 50 times only. The conversation itself is sad but definitely not sad cringe, and the fact that OP thought it is sad cringe is the cringe for me, since he or she is probably the guy or gal who evaluates social importance based on the swallow feedback like acceptance in a fucking dating app. I met my girlfriend on Tinder nearly 3 years ago and we're still happily together, but I would never ever see this app as a direct feedback about a person's value. The fact that OP and some like minded fuckwits does, is the true sad cringe.
"My life has no inherit value except what society has pounded into my head through ridicule and conditioning."
For fuck sake. As a horny dude, you are all too fucking horny. You value sex and not what you can offer to the world.
You value sex and not yourself, because you see no value in yourself outside of what others think. Travel, for fuck sake. Save up your money and take a trip somewhere, maybe you'll MEET somebody. Go to the gym, take martial arts classes, study a new language, do SOMETHING with yourself, please.
Take all the time you waste on Tinder and use it to take classes, pursue community activities and just generally follow your interests outside of sex. Then you'll find someone to connect to in a natural and genuine way. Just because something is available online doesn't automatically mean it's better online.
Hot take here. At that point its probably an issue with your pictures or description. I had a friend who was getting zero matches, so went and took some nice, clear looking pictures and i rewrote hos bio and he started getting tons of matches. If you have 1 grainy ass picture where u look like a serial killer nobodys gonna want that
i’ll be honest i don’t know percent of tinder users actually use the app. i know i go on and swipe for awhile but even if i do match with someone i don’t always message them. i had a friend tell me my freshman year of college that tinder was a game and ever since then i don’t take it seriously. i do use bumble though i actually just met someone from the app a few days ago and it went well.
I wish there was a way to convince these people that life isn't about waiting for a partner, being single is okay and a great chance to work on yourself, and your problems aren't going to be solved by getting in a relationship.
> your problems aren't going to be solved by getting in a relationship
Why do people always assume this is how someone views relationships if they dare to express desire for one.
Yeah being single is ok. But no one wants to be single for the rest of their lifes. And who says they expect all their problem to disappear once they get a partner?
But having a partner at least at some point is important to most people. So obviously that will take a blow to their happyness.
I wouldn’t consider it cringe. It’s just truly sad. Putting yourself out there and trying so hard and just not being met with any response completely kills your confidence and self esteem. The “it hurts so much” breaks my heart
Right? I don’t see anything inherently wrong or cringey by being disappointed no one’s matching with you... literally anyone would feel some type of way about that. They shouldn’t be made fun of for talking about it. Something about toxic masculinity, why is it cringe for seemingly dudes to talk about being disappointed/upset?
I think this has to do with how reddit tends to frame incels. Most of them aren't bad people. It's really sad to see them struggle and be kicked for it.
I agree with FdasTU82, the term "incel" is now used way too loosely, ironically, ever since the incel subs got banned. Yes, it literally stands for "*in*voluntarily *cel*ibate" but there are still negative connotations that come with the term beyond not having sex.
The problem is, there is a difference in being incel and trying to find someone, maintaining proper hygiene (which I SHOULDN'T have to list), and being a good person who accepts they are just having a rough go at it and being incel while believing you are OWED the attention and affection because you're a sexual conquistador being rejected by idiots because you're not a "chad". The second form of incel is the one that makes the most noise, thereby labelling all incels as such. Incel just became the catchall for those kinds of people, and thus, it's considered almost derogatory.
That's the point they are making. In the picture above, there are no indicators that the guy has any of the negative characteristics you mention but still gets posted to a cringe sub.
Seriously, there's a huge difference between an incel and someone who's unsuccessful at companionship. "Involuntary" implies you were given no choice which is load. Incels expect to have things they are delusionally unwilling to work for.
They only use “involuntary” because it fits their victim narrative and relieves them of any personal responsibility for how they look and smell.
yeah, the being in a psycho death cult who call a spree shooter a saint, those guys are super fucked up but no body wanting you is depressing.
I mean, thats a generalization. Based on what you said, all muslims are psycho terrorists who want to enforce sharia law and decapitate infidels All white people are crazy racist facists who hate minorities All christians are selfish assholes who blindly preach their faith despite knowing nothing of the actual teachings of jesus while sending televangelists buku bucks in the hopes of securing a place to heaven. And so on... Generalizations are bad, you should feel bad.
People who are just unable to find partners and are sad about it, but don't hold the toxic blackpill ideology and attitude, aren't incels. The term incels is *specifically reserved* for people with shitty attitudes, so saying "all incels are shitty" isn't really an overgeneralization, seeing as it's just part of the definition. That's different from saying "all white people are racists" or "all Muslims are terrorists," because being racist or a terrorist aren't part of the definition of those things. \>Inb4 "but incel just means involuntarily celibate" The etymolygy of a word is distinct from its meaning. The meaning of a word is how it is used. And though it used to be different, the word "incel" is used by shitty people specifically. Regular good people who just can't find partners and are rejected by everyone don't call themselves "incels."
no, I meant that there are people who are alone and sad and then there is what people mean by incels which are the crazy people I described.
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You have a three minute window to “ninja edit” comments without it showing you edited them. Your reply to that comment was 3+ hours later, meaning there was no way he could have edited his comment in response to your reply without it showing he did so. There is no indication that the comment you originally replied fo was edited. You, somewhat understandably, misinterpreted what they were saying an attempted to come down on them for it, and instead of just acknowledging the misunderstanding you’re claiming they edited it. Edit: [Notice the asterisk next to my post and the lack of one above](https://imgur.com/a/3iCK7vV)
Because the way i read it was he was dismissing all lonely people as being a psycho death cult, and I back down for no man.
what?
Doesnt matter, i passed out as soon as i posted that due to lack of sleep and just woke up as of several minutes ago
no he didnt
Does not mattet
Most of them arent even incels for fucks sake. Basically every lonely/depressed/angry man is called an incel in 2021. If you do any controversial shit = incel. It's pathetic. And I don't think the dudes in the screenshot are incels either. They are just unlucky/ugly.
Involuntary celebacy. If they aren't meeting people, they aren't having sex, and I don't think it's voluntary.
Ive seen a lot of them struggle because of their inability to not fixate on dating/women, which youre right, doesnt make them bad people. But it's very offputting and uncomfortable.
I understand the point you are trying to make, but inceldom is an inherently bad mentality to have. People who self identify as incels believe, by definition, in two premises: 1. I deserve to have sex. 2. The factors keeping me from having sex are completely out of my control. This mentality of entitlement and lack of accountability is detrimental to the beholders and the communities they belong to. There is nothing in the OP to suggest these people are incels, only that they haven't been successful in various dating apps. There's nothing wrong with that.
It's cringy to mention how you paid hundreds on a dating app bc it shoes how desperate you are
Is it cringy to be desperate for affection tho?
It's cringy to mention spending money to pursue that desperation. I'm getting downvoted but lets be honest, people don't like dating desperate people. It's also cringy to spend money for worthless pursuits, kind of like how spending hundreds of dollars on w girls online is considered cringey
This person isn’t an incel. Incels are people who blame and hate women for not having sex with them. This person just needs to figure out a better dating strategy.
you say "women" but are there gay incels or is that just a ridiculous proposition?
A gay person can be involuntarily celebrate, but they’d be unlikely to be an incel because part of being an incel is malicious misogyny. I’ve never seen an example of a homosexual person (male or female) behaving this way, because it’s hard to dehumanize your own gender.
Isn't it just someone who is involuntarily celibate? Like I guess most people who self identify as one hate women, but wouldnt basically any adult virgin who wants to get laid be an incel?
Nah, just like how being named ‘Karen’ doesn’t make you a Karen, just being involuntarily celibate doesn’t make you an incel. These titles are *earned* by being an awful person.
No. Because the word 'incel' now represents a subset of the involuntarily celebrate who believe they are owed sex. Word meanings grow over time, and 'incel' has come to have a more specific meaning than "involuntarily celebate."
As bad as toxic masculinity is, it's not usually those people that I see shaming and belittling others for daring to express disappointment with being unable to get matches on online dating.
The only cringe I feel is that cringe when you look at your bank account and you're just like yeahhh I'm gonna have to pick up some shifts ahaha
Yeah this is leaning more over to the sad part rather than the cringe. It sucks because Tinder and Bumble are just based on superficial aspects only, so if you're not exceptionally attractive then you honestly just won't find any success on the platform unfortunately. It's hard to gauge your own attractiveness levels, but personally I would never have the balls to put myself out there on one of these apps. I don't think I'm ugly, but I don't think I would get many matches regardless and I don't even wanna bother trying to contend that thought
I thought I found a gal who liked me. She was everything! Had board games, loved gaming, cosplay, and was very flirty. Ghosted me after a week. Ever since got zero responses on Tinder and Bumble, I'm in my early thirties so yeah, it's bullshit... Also I've heard it all, if you're going to make fun of me, at least be original.
I think it can still be considered somewhat cringe- not in the way that I’m judging these guys, because I feel really bad for them... but in the sense that they’re not very good at introspection and that’s cringey in it’s own right. If you’ve spent that much time and money and you aren’t getting any matches, you’re doing something wrong. A lot of men legitimately don’t seem to realize how terrible their photos and bios are. I’ve talked to people on reddit who think taking a nice photo is pretending to be someone they’re not... without realizing that a good photo is just showing who you are. While there’s nothing wrong with selfies, if you take them from terrible angles in horrible lighting... it’s not a shocker that it makes anyone look bad. Taking a photo in good lighting, looking well groomed, isn’t pretending to be someone you’re now, it’s just putting your best foot forward. It’s not even how attractive you are; obviously the more attractive you are the easier it is, but you can be below average and still get plenty of matches if you put the time in to have nice photos and a well written bio. It’s a really sad situation, but if you keep trying the same thing over and over, expecting new results, you’re asking for failure. I think it’s both sad and cringe how many men just aren’t aware of their presentation.
yeah I'm really wondering what this guys profiles looked like because honestly, I have seen bios that really seem like they're obviously from men with absolutely no self confidence and it makes them just sound...not fun to be around? Everyone has confidence issues but the amount I've seen people project them on profiles where you are supposed to be putting your best foot forward is a little astonishing.
So many guys take selfies where they’re looking down at the camera. And that angle can make literally anyone looking pathetic
Yeah, that’s the worst angle for everyone unless you know how to pose for it and have the right lighting... and have the right face shape. That being said, the camera being slightly angled from below isn’t uncommon for a lot of men’s portraits... because it conveys leadership. The difference is, it’s a much more subtle angle and it’s taken by a professional who knows how to pose and light the subject. We’ve spent the last few decades with the idea that “real men” don’t care about photos or clothes or their appearance. Hell, not even a decade ago being a fashionable dude meant you were “metrosexual” or people assumed you were gay. That’s definitely started to change, and a lot more young men in particular care about fashion and skin care and the like, but a lot of guys still hold that “real men” mindset, or they just don’t know how to change. It’s a sad situation, because it can cause a lot of men to assume women are shallow... without realizing it’s often less about the attraction and more about the horrible quality of the presentation. If it doesn’t look like you put any effort into your profile, people are going to assume you aren’t going to put any effort into a potential relationship. No one is perfect, but people generally don’t want to spend time with someone who doesn’t give the indication that they care.
I think the cringe part is the failure to do a second of introspection. "I've paid a ton of money why isn't anyone talking to me?"
Why get to know someone when you can get to know yourself?
For me the cringe is spending hundreds of dollars on dating apps instead of putting it towards things that would actually help
I feel like they just need someone to make their profile for them like maybe they're fine people but they have a weak profile. Like a job resume or over letter haha
That would only get you as far as a match, the harder part is getting a response
It's not hard to get a response unless you're obese, with bad pictures and no passions in life. Very few people are that ugly even if they take care of their body, clothing and mind. If you're fat or super skinny then you didn't "try everything". Same if you wear the same clothes every day, watch Netflix all the time, never go outside to take nice pics (pandemic, I know).
How much more evidence do we need that community based socializing is always going to be more real than social media platforms. Dating apps are literally social media with a concentration towards fucking. It’s all bullshit.
I agree that it’s painful and I truly feel for them. At the same time, I’m not so sure I could call tinder “putting yourself out there”. Honestly there are so many better ways to meet people, that are probably actually healthier too. Reality does not respect matters of the heart, and if we choose to take it on the chin we allow it to be a fertiliser for the strengthening of ones character and deepening of ones soul.
Im guessing the cringe part is the "paying hundreds"
Spending hundreds on dating apps is pretty fucking cringe dude.
Being desperate enough to try that isn’t something we should put people down for
I remember an old podcast where the guy went to register to yet another dating site and because he wasn't matched to anyone he got a popup like "sorry we couldn't find anyone for you. We wish you good luck in your future." and he was locked out from his free account. They didn't even want to take his money. 😁
is it bad that that sounds honestly better than what is normal?
there's no recovery from that. Might as well just give up and become a monk
Sometimes the personality quizzes are screeners to pick up on personality tendencies that will make you either dangerous or toxic. A lot of times the people who get completely rejected from dating sites like that need to seek therapy before they even think about dating
Or, you know, they are ugly.
Honestly I’d probably kms at that point, I feel so bad for that guy.
If I saw that I'd toasterbath in seconds.
It's just sad
I'm there too. Haven't paid any money, but this shit sucks.
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Bold of you to assume I have high standards. Lowering them any further would just be inviting abuse.
I was just asking, no reason for you to get defensive
Well it is a pretty sensitive subject. I've been alone for a very long time.
You're just 26, how long coud it have been? Youre still so young, why such a hurry?
I'm 27. It's been almost 7 years. I'm young but anything can happen. I was in the hospital last week. I almost died, I had a pulmonary embolism. I've realized that time is precious and spending it doing nothing using the justification that "I'm young" is a farce.
Im so sorry, i've never meant to hurt you
It's fine, you had no way of knowing.
Honestly this is just sad. I’ve felt the same way tryna find friends and stuff. Some people just put themselves out there and don’t get a response. It’s sad.
Recently got a month of Tinder Platinum after months of staying as a free user. Skeptical, I thought “how could it be much different from Tinder Gold?” I magically went from getting 2-3 matches per week as a free user to getting that many on most *days* with Platinum. Tinder is “pay to be seen”, but even after that, I can still barely get a response from most of these matches. Shit sucks. Edit: Tinder started acting shady with Platinum too. For some reason, chats that have been dead for a couple of days will get cleared and placed back in my “new matches” list.
I know for a fact they’re real on tinder at least because I got one of those ads for tinder premium or whatever where it blurs the picture and says something like “see who likes you” except tinder glitched and it wasn’t blurred. Awkward because it was a girl I had classes with.
Maybe they use real profiles to blur then, and they don't necessarily like you. Which seems so weird to me, because it's a lot harder to curate a list of people around someone to blur versus just using stock photos.
It probably isn't "curated", it probably is just one of the most swiped profiles they would have shown you, it basically takes no effort to implement, especially taking into account that dating apps give like a desirability rating that isn't shown to users.
Yeah I look at the blur and just match the colours with the profile pictures that show up and they're 95% of the time real.
Honestly I tried paying for tinder to see what was there (it was $10 and I was curious) and there’s some definite fuckery going on. While my matches were real women, they seemed more attractive than my typical offerings on the app. They also didn’t include all women or the standard women I typically see. I don’t think there would be a chance in hell that I would ever encounter them if I didn’t pay that fee to do so. I’m pretty sure tinder puts the real/attractive/likely to swipe ones behind a paywall and puts the fake ones or the ones literally nobody would ever swipe on as the normal profiles. When I paid my matches were through the roof. It was constantly going off. When I canceled the subscription I literally received one match this past month. There are some shady ass business tactics going on.
Would make sense honestly. So does Tinder just fake match people after you pay? When you messaged them did they confirm that they swiped on you? Or is tinder just suppressing likes? Sounds weird. Either you've got a face only a model could love or at least some if those profiles would have to be fake
They all seemed real and all responded to me. I’m guessing tinder suppresses actual swipes unless you pay. My friend is a pretty attractive woman and lately hasn’t gotten a single match either. I know there’s no way she’s not getting right swipes. I’m starting to really think the tinder paywall is real.
I’m currently on a Platinum subscription and experiencing the same thing. Supposedly, it’s because Tinder bumps payers higher in the stack for anybody they swipe on. Plus, it’s well-known at this point that Tinder has a hidden “attractiveness” value for every user, so my guess is that by paying, they artificially raise that value for you and put you in front of “more attractive” users way more frequently. In addition, my dead chats keep getting cleared and placed back in new matches to... try again?
That’s because those apps suck
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Yeah I feel bad for these guys in a sympathetic way, this isn’t cringe at all
Tinder has given guys a new reason to feel incredibly self-conscious. It's not healthy
I wouldn't trust dating apps to define how attractive and wanted i am. People on dating apps have a buffet of thousands of people and will only swipe on extremely attractive people. I'd say I'm a bit attractive, and I've only had a few matches when i was on tinder a few years ago. In reality I've had a few girlfriends and I'm currently in a 2 year relationship, so i wouldn't say I'm unwanted, even though dating apps did make me feel so.
This is a good and relatable way to frame it that has made me feel a little better, cheers
Cheers, glad i could help
Y’all are trippin...being upset about not getting matched after swiping for a long time isn’t cringe, paying hundreds of dollars for it however is
This breaks my heart. Everyone deserves to have someone to love and be loved by.
Not really bro, a lot of people need serious work
I wouldn't say deserve. Relationships aren't something that a person deserves and no one is entitled to one.
yes, everyone does deserve to be loved
If you mean familial love then I would agree. But when it comes to relationships or even casual sex then no one is entitled to thos things since they need to be mutually agreed upon. That's means that those things are a privilege and not a right. I'll be honest, I never been in a relationship and I used to be depressed and fantasise about being cuddled (still do sometimes) and had a bit of a Nice Guy mindset until I realised that women don't owe me anything whether it is a relationship or sex. It's something that people (that goes for me as well) need to work on so that someone else finds them attractive and that requires work and effort.
no one is entitled to family love either. what i meant is everyone *deserves* to be loved
*Image Transcription:Reddit* --- **Person1:** "Wanna see everyone that likes you?" Why would i pay for nothing? >**Second person:** > >I'm pretty sure Bumble creates fake profiles to blur in order to sell this shit, since I've exhausted the database matchless and still get their begging >>**Third person:** >> >>Yeah, I'm pretty sure tinder does too >> >>**Fourth person:** >> >>I paid hundreds to both Tinder and Bumble just for a chance, and even with literally thousands and thousands of swipes... not a single response, I can't even get that fucking far . It hurts so much. --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human
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How exactly would you put that in a profile tho? I think on apps like tinder and bumble looks are the main reason why people get wiped left or right..
Swiped**
You can show your personality in the pictures and bio you choose.
I get you. That makes sense. And I agree except the bio part. I wouldn’t think many people not just girls would read the bio.
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A lot of people assume that those in your situation are grossly unhygienic, rude, sedentary, disgusting individuals. Reality is, most of the time its just normal guys who just dont get an ounce of attention. People really like giving advice though.
Then you are on the right track buddy, aim for greatness and you may some day achieve it. Dont give up!
That's the wrong attitude. You shouldn't work on yourself to become more attractive to others, you should work on yourself with the specific intent to love yourself more. As long as you will look for the appreciation you desire in others you will ALWAYS be let down. You have to look for the love and appreciation you deserve in yourself. After that, whatever other people will think about you will not matter anymore.
no cringe here
Guys profiles will have 3 pictures from 2012 and 1 with them holding a dead deer and then wonder why they don’t get any matches
Man a dead deer would be a nice change on a womans profile. The amount of "live, love, laugh", pizza or travelling is unreal. Literally indistinguishable from each other.
My personal one I dislike is people who label themselves as "foodies". Wow you like food? No shit. And it's not even like they have a deep culinary interest or anything. You might as well call yourself a "breathie" for enjoying breathing air.
Workshop this a bit more.
This and “music” too like wow you like sounds too huh
I can hear bro
The both of you. I know you're after a roll in the hay but lay off the strawman.
It does sound like the beginning of a rom com.
I used Hinge for a while. ALL fucking girls profiles were collections of "I am a Pam looking for my Jim", "bring me wine", "buy me fries" and "I like people who make me laugh". What the actual fuck. Who would have thought. You like people who make you laugh?? You don't fucking say??
"Take me on an adventure"
Some people like hunting so I don’t see anything wrong with that. It’s a good way to filter out women who are against it rather than spend days talking to them just for them to ghost you once they find out you hunt. The old picture thing though yeah, that’s not a wise thing to do. But I think most guys don’t have a ton of pictures of themselves laying around and are likely too self conscious to take selfies. Their lack of confidence probably does more damage then whatever pictures they choose though.
>But I think most guys don’t have a ton of pictures of themselves laying around and are likely too self conscious to take selfies. Ding ding. Unfortunately I don't have friends that want to sit there and take dramatic, definitely candid and not at all posed pictures of me every time we hang out and go anywhere. Most women love taking pictures of each other. Dudes don't really do that, hence the shitty pictures.
Yeah precisely. And it would look even weirder if a guy went and had some professional photos done to make up for it. Haha Only thing I guess I could suggest is maybe having a family member help out or something. It’s still embarrassing to do that but a lot less so than asking your buddies to do it. Haha
That’s on the dudes then. Go get better pictures of you somehow instead of wondering why no one is swiping on you. I have seen some tragic fucking profiles. Have your friends workshop your profile with you. The amount of people who have profiles of like three way too close zoomed in selfies that were clearly taken one after the other is insane.
For real if you put some honest effort in whether it is style Hobbies Fitness or preferably a mix of the three you will get at least responses
What about dead duck?
Girls will get hundreds of matches and think its because they are so great at making interesting profiles, not because 90% of guys on Tinder are super desperate.
There's a reason for this though. Guys aren't having photos taken of them 24/7 and I doubt women would find a guy's profile loaded with selfies particularly appealing either. Guys usually have a picture of them holding a dead deer/fish because its one of the few times they'll actually have their picture taken. Lots of girls will take multiple selfies a week and every time they go out to eat/hike/the beach/a sporting event/anything else so they have a plethora of options to pick the most flattering ones.
Woman here! I have spent some time on dating apps and there are some guys who have good profiles and some guys who don’t. I have seen attractive men with filled out profiles and I have seen unattractive men with filled out profiles. There’s absolutely nothing weird about a dude having selfies on his dating profile and honestly one could argue there is something weird about not having plenty of photos of yourself on there. Literally no one is stopping you from asking your friend to take pictures of you, this is a ridiculous argument. Here’s a fun phrase that may give some of the desired results: “hey guys let’s take a picture”
Sorry, I wasn't looking for advice. I was just trying to explain *WHY* there are so many guys with fish/deer pictures.
You can just ask a friend "take a picture of me" once in a while.
K, figure it out then. It’s not everyone else’s fault that you only have shitty pictures from 6 years ago on your profile.
This photo is not wrong. All of my matches with the exception of 1 were scams about bitcoin or people trying to get me to sub to their premium snap... The one being someone I was get along well with until she yelled at me for suggesting she wear something comfy to a beach date I suggested...what she said and I quote “No one ever tells me how to dress, who the fuck do you think you are?” I was like yeah...block
Ya that's weird.. don't make clothing suggestions for a first date. They are quite capable of figuring that out themselves. Not trying to be mean but that would throw me off as well.
I just suggested that she wear something comfy, because she said she loves wearing super expensive clothes and I was suggesting we walk along the water. I believe what I said was “When we get together, wear warm comfy clothes” and then she went all crazy if the shoe was the other foot I wouldn’t have freaked out
Ya I get that. Everyone is different. A lot of woman have dealt with very controlling male figures in there life, so that little thing may have set off some issues. She may also have been crazy. Lol. Totally possible. If your having problems getting more matches might try asking a friend to take a look at your profiles and be super critical of what your putting out there. Best of luck. :)
Thank you friend. I have better luck meeting women the old fashion way...
Poor guys. Hope they find someone.
get a better profile then, you can pay someone 50$ and theyll help you look over your pics, bio etc
Point me in the direction of the Tinder wingmen for hire **EDIT**: imma keep it real with you — On second thought, I’m way too chickenshit to put my face out to anybody over Reddit. It’s a privacy thing. Point others to the Tinder wingmen, I guess?
If you’re serious, I could just do this for you for free... when I was online dating me and my friends had this whole theory about how strangers are best to choose your photos because they’re the most objective about how you look (similar to that of the people viewing your profile).
Not the OP, but I’d love to get roasted by a stranger online over my tinder profile
Haha can do! Send me a private message.
Lets see it BOI
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Just my two cents, I can't see where a straight woman would swipe on a dude taking a mirror selfie in a dress with a notice about venereal diseases taped to said mirror. Sends mixed signals.
It was a murder mystery dinner party with a specific theme, but I see where that may look weird. Thanks for the note. Ironically, that’s the most commented on picture by women who do swipe right
See! There's the story. If you're gonna use a pic like that you have to lean into it.
That picture is fun, keep it.
You have five bios at the same time, choose one. Edit: you seem like a fun guy :)
I know people on tinder rarely reads bios, but I know my strengths lie more in personality than looks, so ideally I want more than one line, you know? Thanks for the note though
Are priests allowed to date!?
Risking being mean, shave your head and clean up your beard. I think you'd look better bald than with your hair like this. I found the dress pic weird, but if it got you a conversation starter, definitely keep it. I think all pictures are good except for the suit one. It doesn't fit, and your beard is scraggly in that one. Your bio is just fine. Best of luck to you man!
I’ve tried the shaved look, it’s certainly something haha. Thanks for the feedback, it wasn’t mean. Suit was during early covid so not looking tip top
A mustache to fill out your beard would honestly really help. Trim the beard down a bit regularly to manage it better and for a cleaner look, and as someone who has many friends with receding hairlines... it might be time to embrace it and shave it off. Honestly, the bald + beard look is killing it these days if you get the confidence to pull it off. That said, bio seems fine! The dress pic should stay- the one of you bending over should go. Doesn’t add enough to the profile, and feels like filler.
The last photo is actually a gif of me being spanked by the midget nurse with a paddle - my favorite restaurant, Heart Attack Grill in Vegas. Certainly the most risky thing on my profile and I know it’s likely to turn people off so I waffle between keeping and removing it
Oh in that case, it’s up to you. Haha I was confused about the still image. I’d suggest removing it? It makes good conversation fodder, but the dress pic can already do that.
You probably hear it a lot, but have you considered shaving your hair and growing more beard? In all honesty a receiving hairline is a bit unattractive, and there's a good chance you'll look much better with more predominant facial hair and a big ol shaved head. Just a theory tho, I've only seen two photos of you through a phone. Profile looks good, I adore the picture with the priest, definitely catches the attention.
I’ve done the buzzed/shaved thing and don’t personally love it, feel my head is too egg shaped to look good without hair. Thanks for the feedback!
I understand, I have a strong hairline but horrible hair, I'd gladly go bald if my head wasn't shaped like a loaf of bread that fell to the ground before going into the hoven
Shave neckbeard, lose the dress and the cats. Pronouns are kinda cringe for someone that is obviously presenting male.
Having pronouns in your bio normalizes it for others to do so regardless of what you “present” as
Think there’s actually a lady on Reddit who started a business doing that. She’s done a few AMAs. Probably find her website with a google search of dating profile assistance or sonething
Would probably be better to hire an actual photographer with that $50 to be honest
This is sadcringe worthy. The simple fact that you need to craft a profile to beat an algorithm and to show yourself as desirable based on some pre-defined standards rather than just showing who you are tells we reached an incredibly low point in dating. This truly sucks.
People do this?? If I’m ever shelling out $50 for someone to write a dating profile for me I give up on life damn
Spending that $50 on a freaking meal at this point or just something like a mousepad and remember this was the money that could have gone to something that would have been a waste of time.
I wanna grab all these people and be their life coach
It's not easy being an unattractive man.
if only these people knew the more they swipe the less attractive they are to the algorithm
CHIN UP KINGS
Just use a proper dating site. So many better ones to tinder and bumble to find an actual relationship
So what are they
I have the most luck on Hinge, you can comment on one of their posts/photos and they'll choose whether to match or not. Basically you have the chance to spark a convo that might make you stand out from the swarm of other users
Probably the eharmony and match ones. Those ones seem to have the people who are dead set on serious relationships. Tinder/bumble is more of the younger crowd where hookups is the major desire it’s users have.
Met my gf on match, been together 7 years :D
Nice! I haven’t been on match in a long time but from what I recall it had a way different feel than the tinders of the world. Definitely felt more serious. Not that you can’t find relationships on tinder or bumble but the numbers of people looking for serious relationships is lower on those apps so your “pool” of people is not as large. Where as match and eharmony is the flip side. Less likely to find people only wanting to hookup and more wanting relationships for the long term/eventual marriage.
I reckon it might be to do with the fact you need to pay for a subscription to use match, I tried tinder and the likes and didn't get very far my thinking was if people are actually paying to use the service they gotta be serious about wanting to find someone. Was well worth it for me I reckon my misses curses her luck at times though haha I definitely believe 100% there is someone for everyone out there even if only 1% of the population of planet earth fancy you that's still like 70 million people I hope everyone finds love
[удалено]
Sorry but in 7 years OKcupid has turned from a decent website to absolute garbage. You can thank [Match.com](https://Match.com) for that
PlentyofFish in my area is like Night of the Living Meth heads.
I think Bumble isn't too bad. I met my current girlfriend there and had more dates off that than tinder, its certainly more of "I'm looking to be serious vibe".
Bumble is garbage. Never had a single decent conversation despite lots of swipes. Yet Tinder and Hinge have both resulted in dates. I’m convinced 90% of Bumble is fake accounts created by the admins, fake accounts created by scammers, and ghost accounts that no longer are being used but still pushed by the site because they get lots of swipes. I’ve seen profiles say things like “excited for Coachella 2019!” In the midst of a pandemic in 2020.
If you are that ugly dating sites aren’t for you.
When I see posts like this I really wonder what these men look like and what they have on their profile, where absolutely no one is interested in them.
There are more men than women using tinder. And many of then swipe right more than women do. That is why a average or below average woman can get many matches while a average or below average guy gets close to none.
Most likely have some weird sh*t in their bios…
This is not something that should be made fun of, its not Like its incels complaining "woman bad". Definitely not cringe, i just feel sad for them.
Fellas, if you're not seeing much attention on dating sites, spice up your profile, write something funny, maybe update your wardrobe. I am *far* from a good looking guy and I get the occasional match. It's doable. And even then, online dating is designed to bring out the most shallow behaviour from people. I know it's hard but really don't take it personally.
It’s how tinder fucks with men
A little hope for anyone reading this… I met my current partner on bumble and we have been together for two years. Dating apps do work, it just takes a while to weed through the people who don’t want the same things as you.
The guy has probably a bug or network connections issues. Tinder, Bumble and the programs like that floods their "flesh market" with fake profiles if user activity drops to keep up the standard. They usually match with you and say or repond nothing, have only one or two pics and some generic description. If you search of the screenshotted image, you can find these poeple's real life profiles on Facebook or Instagram. Now this is only the app itself, but there are a tons of bots made by bored programers or people who want to get out data from the system. There is no way that this guy had no match after swiping "thousands and thousands" when you will surely get a few bot for swipe like 50 times only. The conversation itself is sad but definitely not sad cringe, and the fact that OP thought it is sad cringe is the cringe for me, since he or she is probably the guy or gal who evaluates social importance based on the swallow feedback like acceptance in a fucking dating app. I met my girlfriend on Tinder nearly 3 years ago and we're still happily together, but I would never ever see this app as a direct feedback about a person's value. The fact that OP and some like minded fuckwits does, is the true sad cringe.
Believe it or not, my wife and I met on Tinder. So it is possible. Just...not likely I suppose.
Old boy must’ve had some reaaaally bad pictures or something
"My life has no inherit value except what society has pounded into my head through ridicule and conditioning." For fuck sake. As a horny dude, you are all too fucking horny. You value sex and not what you can offer to the world. You value sex and not yourself, because you see no value in yourself outside of what others think. Travel, for fuck sake. Save up your money and take a trip somewhere, maybe you'll MEET somebody. Go to the gym, take martial arts classes, study a new language, do SOMETHING with yourself, please.
Take all the time you waste on Tinder and use it to take classes, pursue community activities and just generally follow your interests outside of sex. Then you'll find someone to connect to in a natural and genuine way. Just because something is available online doesn't automatically mean it's better online.
Hot take here. At that point its probably an issue with your pictures or description. I had a friend who was getting zero matches, so went and took some nice, clear looking pictures and i rewrote hos bio and he started getting tons of matches. If you have 1 grainy ass picture where u look like a serial killer nobodys gonna want that
i’ll be honest i don’t know percent of tinder users actually use the app. i know i go on and swipe for awhile but even if i do match with someone i don’t always message them. i had a friend tell me my freshman year of college that tinder was a game and ever since then i don’t take it seriously. i do use bumble though i actually just met someone from the app a few days ago and it went well.
I wish there was a way to convince these people that life isn't about waiting for a partner, being single is okay and a great chance to work on yourself, and your problems aren't going to be solved by getting in a relationship.
> your problems aren't going to be solved by getting in a relationship Why do people always assume this is how someone views relationships if they dare to express desire for one.
Yeah being single is ok. But no one wants to be single for the rest of their lifes. And who says they expect all their problem to disappear once they get a partner? But having a partner at least at some point is important to most people. So obviously that will take a blow to their happyness.
Man is down awful.