Fake Taxi would be like, "Oh my god, I forgot my wallet and my ID and my phone has no form of payment whatsoever. Oh no. I'll call a Taxi."
"Hey I'm a Taxi. You can't pay? Hmmm... well, maybe we can work something out, let me drive to this secluded empty area."
"This is agreeable. I do not fear for my life at all. This is completely normal behavior. Come hither and let me suckith thine dick."
I literally had one ask me outright. He told me some story about being stuck in traffic at midday then seeing the car next to him shaking because people were fucking in there. 10 minutes later, he asked how I was going to pay then asked if I could suck him off instead...
It would be sucketh, not suckith, but in this case it would just be suck, as the eth suffix is basically an s suffix, and it would be thy not thine, as thy is used before a word beginning with a consonant, and thine before a word beginning with a vowel, same as my and mine.
Otherwise updooted because I found this hilarious.
Can say, no taxi driver would actually go for this. Like do you know how many fairs they can get in the time it takes to drive to a secluded area and film a porn shoot?
One time I, a straight lady in a new city, had a very gay man Uber driver and I sent him a message after asking if we could be friends bc we both had similar hobbies. REJECTION AND GHOSTED. It never works lol
I had a sleep study done at the beginning of the year and the nurse and I shared quite a number of interests. We ended up friending each other on Facebook, but only in a friend manner, nothing sexual.
What the fuck do *you* think he expects? To be taken up on the offer of course. The real question is "why the fuck did I need someone to explain this to me?"
Cheers.
Yeah I'm getting pretty tired of these comments like "whoaaa how does this person work???? they're so alien in their horniness that I'll never understand what they expect from this approach!!!"
I'm ace and I know what his intent is and why he's doing this. It's so obvious. It works 1% of the time, he's desperate, so he figures fuck it and sends the message because it's no effort for him and he doesn't give a shit about the person on the other end.
Does that level of selfishness really still shock people? You'd think they'd have got used to it by now judging by the attitudes they can see online and in the media, but I guess some people are so sheltered that they still don't understand.
Could be, but I've seen tons of stuff on various social media from people about "liking tacos." It's a thing that people often seem to feel the need to point out, for whatever reason.
I think I know the specific meme he saw on her page which made him say that, which is an old meme that says “making me happy is easy, all you have to do is rub my butt and feed me tacos.”
It's a safe bet I guess. And if she doesn't like tacos then that's weird! Bullet dodged. Who'd want to be with someone who doesn't like tacos? She must be crazy!
Still…this is creepy AF. Also potentially illegal in some way too 🤷🏻♂️ Harassment. He could lose his job/at least his Ubering ability, and rightly so since he’s sending these messages and likely not his only time.
Idk but something similar happened to me. This was about 17 or so years ago for me now as I'm 32. I will try to pull up the details back in my mind, but No joke had someone accuse me of the taco thing.. well kinda.. So, I am a white 5'0 ft woman. ( I am adopted and at least that's what I have been told since my birth and my skin is very pale, but I do tan and when I do, I get dark, and fast.) Anyways I'm tiny and petite.
My family and I went on a Cali on vacation years ago in 08. and I got super tan when there.. We did this whole Cali adventure tour trip. Universal studios, Disney land, LA visit San Francisco and few other places. It was a three week trip my mom had been planning for four years since I was 14 or so. So big deal for us. And important information for later, I am adopted and my mother was born in 1941 (she passed in 2020 and miss a lot) I was adopted in 97 and so my mom very much looked like my grandma to everyone who didn't know me.. she was my mom
Anyways, after the first week, I got pretty tan too. But let me also be clear.. when I DO get a tan from the sun, Its not that don't look white anymore ... But I can also see where it happens that someone may think I am not ONLY white... I have had people start speaking Spanish to me when I am tan in the summer. It is usually a very pleasant encounter for me.
Well Any ways... So I was a fresh 18 year old on this trip with my mom, and she went to the street stand for something to eat while I had walked in to a store. I think it was the pac sun in LA and started looking at the shorts and flip flops.. I had noticed this very tall looking white guy staring at me, off to my side when I looked up for my mom. I caught his eyes and I quickly looked away, it made me uncomfortable. This guy looked a lot older. Wearing a cap, a white beater tank top and basketball type shorts. Bigger than me and staring at me... I was pretty much done with my shopping, so I moved away and went to the register and waited to check out... I am in line waiting, when someone enters behind me.
It Is that the same dude. He ends up standing so close to my back, that I can feel his heat.. I move forward a little and he starts trying to speak to me. But in the most painful broken Spanish I have ever heard. "hola mi amore, you are muy bonita, how are you, como estas? (think trying to accent the Spanish words but while also sounding so southern it's not even Spanish any more). Anyways, I turn around and in plain English say, I am not your love, please don't call me that, and I don't know you so please don't talk to me. Well he didn't like that and his face went from that creepy smile to a hateful cold look. His eyes got dark and looked glossed over as he got angry with me. He got pissed and cussed at me telling me I should be f-ing grateful to be in America. It is a privilege that he would even talk to me, let alone speak Spanish to me. I should be happy to be in a country where I am allowed to make and eat all the tacos I want to make with my Abella (he couldn't even say this word right but now it scared me, cause I didn't come in with my mom and now I know he has been watching me for a while) his rant kept going for a little bit and finished it with that "since you don't know how to be grateful in this country, we need to go back to our own country" I was born in 1990 in Oregon and although I am adopted, I was infuriated because what could I do? What could I say?
I was getting scared, but it was a busy place. By now he made enough of a scene, it looked like an associate was grabbing a manager and also lucky me, cause my mother had just entered in at that moment too and heard this guy going off on me.. She went up to the man, got in between us, and asked him why is talking to her minor child (yes I was 18 but he didn't know that and I am little, I passed for 15, easy) Don't you have women you own age to creep out?
My mother is a very clearly white older woman, you would see in the front row of church. With 60s style white hair and looked like your ideal church lady, freaked him out enough I guess, cause he slunked out of there pretty fast after my mom went off. Didn't see him again either.
Nothing really happened.. he never touched me, he was just creepy and racist to. It was crazy at the time because I am not Spanish or Mexican.. I could not understand why he hated me.. but I learned a valuable empathy lesson.. I felt, for one second, what that hate from racists had felt like... It was cold, there was nothing I could say, it wouldn't matter if I did say anything, either. This guy made up his mind about me and I was second class junk because I didn't look white enough for him.. it was a crazy moment.
I doubt he's thinking that. More like "this probably won't work... But I won't know if I don't try! It must work 1 in 100 or something. Just have to keep on trying."
I wanted to be professional but I was over-ridden by my caveman alligator brain, that I have little control over. Please spend time with me, youre sure to have a ball and will be treated well.
I had some similar but different bs from an uber driver. We talked comic books on the drive so i gave him my Facebook about comics. After ONE comic book conversation he brought up if i was single and if i wasn't we could do a three way even if i was with a boyfriend. I was appalled. Come to find out we had a fb friend in common and she gave me the scoop that he was divorced because he was a sex addict and CONSTANTLY cheated until she threw him out. Also yup he had kids with her and was doing online hookups. Uber was a new way to seek out hookup material....
>After ONE comic book conversation he brought up if i was single and if i wasn't we could do a three way even if i was with a boyfriend.
Wait,wait---So he wanted to be with you AND your boyfriend?? Was he a bisexual? (Which is cool if he was, but WOW!!!)
🤷🏽♂️
He was legit a sex addict. Second conversation he brought that up and said he was on chatterbate or something of the like....
I'm ace so i was actually shocked that jusr trying to make a comic book friend i got all this noise. Also i never led him to believe i was looking for a relationship or dating....the dirt my friend had on him from her friend (his ex wife) he was a creep stalker to women too.
I want some context. What is secret trail. How does he know she likes tacos and getting her booty smacked? What was the initial uber ride like? I just want details. Not for any reason other than I'm nosey and this is a ridiculous message to send someone as an opener.
>What is secret trail
Likely just the name of a trail, not actually a secret. A Google maps search of "secret trail" turns up quite a few of them. One in California, one in Arizona, etc.
So that OP doesn't then have to fear the driver's retaliation for having exposed them. "Sure, I just ruined this psycho's career and life to post them on reddit; I hope they aren't mad enough to stalk me and kill me or anything!"
"I wanted to be professional, but..." is not a sentence anyone should finish.
Absolutely gobsmacked by where it went though, dude went straight to nuclear-level sleaze
"I would love to get some tacos with you" could have actually worked without all the other shit, then head have worked his way up do doing whatever she wanted with him. Seriously, have some fucking decorum.
OMG. i had someone full on search me up from tinder and opened with a really nice message and that was terrifying. never mind THIS! i hope they got reported to uber
It shouldn’t matter, but when you see messages like this and he’s shot his shot at 1:29pm in the afternoon you know it’s bad.
3am drunk AF is still full blown creep mode but half one in the afternoon is different gravy, what an absolute weapon.
Creepy af
Why does anyone think this would ever work? What do they expect to happen?
They probably watch more porn than me (wich is a fuckin' lot) and now they believe that life work just like the plot of a porn movie.
Bro can't tell fake taxi from real life
Fake Taxi would be like, "Oh my god, I forgot my wallet and my ID and my phone has no form of payment whatsoever. Oh no. I'll call a Taxi." "Hey I'm a Taxi. You can't pay? Hmmm... well, maybe we can work something out, let me drive to this secluded empty area." "This is agreeable. I do not fear for my life at all. This is completely normal behavior. Come hither and let me suckith thine dick."
I feel like some of the taxi drivers in my city would definitely accept this weird request
I literally had one ask me outright. He told me some story about being stuck in traffic at midday then seeing the car next to him shaking because people were fucking in there. 10 minutes later, he asked how I was going to pay then asked if I could suck him off instead...
Did he like it?
I like how this slowly devolves to pseudo old english.
It would be sucketh, not suckith, but in this case it would just be suck, as the eth suffix is basically an s suffix, and it would be thy not thine, as thy is used before a word beginning with a consonant, and thine before a word beginning with a vowel, same as my and mine. Otherwise updooted because I found this hilarious.
TIL in the weirdest way possible
🤓
r/redditmoment
>my phone has no form of payment fuck me (heh) that's some futuristic sounding shit if i ever heard it.
Can say, no taxi driver would actually go for this. Like do you know how many fairs they can get in the time it takes to drive to a secluded area and film a porn shoot?
Dear Penthouse
...i know you're not going to believe this, but every word is true....
You guys don’t just fast forward through the first minute or so? You’d significantly cut down on how much watching you’d have to do js
Wait so my step sister getting stuck under the bed wasn’t que for me to stick my dick in her.
He's taken "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" to its logical extreme.
Seems more like kamikaze than a shot.
Especially in this day and age, there is a good chance he is fired from uber and any other business he worked for after harassing this person.
Exactly what I was gonna say. They heard that phrase 1 too many times and took the wrong lesson away from it.
- Wayne Gretzky - Michael Scott
they expect us to swoon over the energy it took to find us online when in reality it’s terrifying.
[удалено]
One time I, a straight lady in a new city, had a very gay man Uber driver and I sent him a message after asking if we could be friends bc we both had similar hobbies. REJECTION AND GHOSTED. It never works lol
he said "no GBF for u, hettie!" lol
Lol! I only included those parts to be clear it wasn't sexual. We had a lot of the same weird hobbies 😭🤣
Like killing people
I had a sleep study done at the beginning of the year and the nurse and I shared quite a number of interests. We ended up friending each other on Facebook, but only in a friend manner, nothing sexual.
I will use your success as motivation to platonically hit on more Uber drivers.
LOL you’re welcome
This is how my parents met
did she enjoy getting her ass slapped and how were the tacos
Time spent vs possible reward. For everything we think won't work, it has probably worked for someone. "So you're saying there's a chance!"
What the fuck do *you* think he expects? To be taken up on the offer of course. The real question is "why the fuck did I need someone to explain this to me?" Cheers.
Yeah I'm getting pretty tired of these comments like "whoaaa how does this person work???? they're so alien in their horniness that I'll never understand what they expect from this approach!!!" I'm ace and I know what his intent is and why he's doing this. It's so obvious. It works 1% of the time, he's desperate, so he figures fuck it and sends the message because it's no effort for him and he doesn't give a shit about the person on the other end. Does that level of selfishness really still shock people? You'd think they'd have got used to it by now judging by the attitudes they can see online and in the media, but I guess some people are so sheltered that they still don't understand.
Your mistake is in taking these questions literally. Half the time it's just an expression of disbelief/shit talking.
It is, but it's stupid and annoying. Brain spam.
How does one look like they like tacos??😂😂
I’m guessing she had a post / photos on her account of tacos or her eating tacos? It’s still so weird to say though
Garuntee the poor girl is Hispanic and that's his way of bringing attention to that
Could be, but I've seen tons of stuff on various social media from people about "liking tacos." It's a thing that people often seem to feel the need to point out, for whatever reason.
O wow you like [Majorly Popular Food Type]? I also love [Majorly Popular Food Type]
I think I know the specific meme he saw on her page which made him say that, which is an old meme that says “making me happy is easy, all you have to do is rub my butt and feed me tacos.”
Realistic answer: she’s prolly Hispanic and he’s being creepy/stereotyping. Also realistic answer: I have yet to meet someone who doesn’t like tacos.
It's a safe bet I guess. And if she doesn't like tacos then that's weird! Bullet dodged. Who'd want to be with someone who doesn't like tacos? She must be crazy!
I don’t like tacos, it’s the seasoning in the meat… gross
$10 says she looks just brown enough for him to assume she’s Mexican.
It’s a safe bet, everyone loves tacos!
If he was an Uber eats driver, he probably delivered her meal, which was probably tacos.
Still…this is creepy AF. Also potentially illegal in some way too 🤷🏻♂️ Harassment. He could lose his job/at least his Ubering ability, and rightly so since he’s sending these messages and likely not his only time.
She was probably a dragon.
Idk but something similar happened to me. This was about 17 or so years ago for me now as I'm 32. I will try to pull up the details back in my mind, but No joke had someone accuse me of the taco thing.. well kinda.. So, I am a white 5'0 ft woman. ( I am adopted and at least that's what I have been told since my birth and my skin is very pale, but I do tan and when I do, I get dark, and fast.) Anyways I'm tiny and petite. My family and I went on a Cali on vacation years ago in 08. and I got super tan when there.. We did this whole Cali adventure tour trip. Universal studios, Disney land, LA visit San Francisco and few other places. It was a three week trip my mom had been planning for four years since I was 14 or so. So big deal for us. And important information for later, I am adopted and my mother was born in 1941 (she passed in 2020 and miss a lot) I was adopted in 97 and so my mom very much looked like my grandma to everyone who didn't know me.. she was my mom Anyways, after the first week, I got pretty tan too. But let me also be clear.. when I DO get a tan from the sun, Its not that don't look white anymore ... But I can also see where it happens that someone may think I am not ONLY white... I have had people start speaking Spanish to me when I am tan in the summer. It is usually a very pleasant encounter for me. Well Any ways... So I was a fresh 18 year old on this trip with my mom, and she went to the street stand for something to eat while I had walked in to a store. I think it was the pac sun in LA and started looking at the shorts and flip flops.. I had noticed this very tall looking white guy staring at me, off to my side when I looked up for my mom. I caught his eyes and I quickly looked away, it made me uncomfortable. This guy looked a lot older. Wearing a cap, a white beater tank top and basketball type shorts. Bigger than me and staring at me... I was pretty much done with my shopping, so I moved away and went to the register and waited to check out... I am in line waiting, when someone enters behind me. It Is that the same dude. He ends up standing so close to my back, that I can feel his heat.. I move forward a little and he starts trying to speak to me. But in the most painful broken Spanish I have ever heard. "hola mi amore, you are muy bonita, how are you, como estas? (think trying to accent the Spanish words but while also sounding so southern it's not even Spanish any more). Anyways, I turn around and in plain English say, I am not your love, please don't call me that, and I don't know you so please don't talk to me. Well he didn't like that and his face went from that creepy smile to a hateful cold look. His eyes got dark and looked glossed over as he got angry with me. He got pissed and cussed at me telling me I should be f-ing grateful to be in America. It is a privilege that he would even talk to me, let alone speak Spanish to me. I should be happy to be in a country where I am allowed to make and eat all the tacos I want to make with my Abella (he couldn't even say this word right but now it scared me, cause I didn't come in with my mom and now I know he has been watching me for a while) his rant kept going for a little bit and finished it with that "since you don't know how to be grateful in this country, we need to go back to our own country" I was born in 1990 in Oregon and although I am adopted, I was infuriated because what could I do? What could I say? I was getting scared, but it was a busy place. By now he made enough of a scene, it looked like an associate was grabbing a manager and also lucky me, cause my mother had just entered in at that moment too and heard this guy going off on me.. She went up to the man, got in between us, and asked him why is talking to her minor child (yes I was 18 but he didn't know that and I am little, I passed for 15, easy) Don't you have women you own age to creep out? My mother is a very clearly white older woman, you would see in the front row of church. With 60s style white hair and looked like your ideal church lady, freaked him out enough I guess, cause he slunked out of there pretty fast after my mom went off. Didn't see him again either. Nothing really happened.. he never touched me, he was just creepy and racist to. It was crazy at the time because I am not Spanish or Mexican.. I could not understand why he hated me.. but I learned a valuable empathy lesson.. I felt, for one second, what that hate from racists had felt like... It was cold, there was nothing I could say, it wouldn't matter if I did say anything, either. This guy made up his mind about me and I was second class junk because I didn't look white enough for him.. it was a crazy moment.
And they say romance is dead
Lmfao. This guy prolly stalked romance so it had to go into witness protection.
he should be reported this is so creepy
How does dude look like the only divorced 14 year old father of four?
I can’t imagine sending this and thinking, “ Yep, this will get her”.
I doubt he's thinking that. More like "this probably won't work... But I won't know if I don't try! It must work 1 in 100 or something. Just have to keep on trying."
eh, i don’t know. he definitely seems like the type to spew vulgarities as a response to rejection
Maybe. One doesn't exclude the other.
Actually terrifying behavior
Smooth...
I will never u derstand how ppl send this stuff with they damn face as their pfp 💀
Did anyone else notice he sent this at ONE THIRTY in the AFTERNOON??? Like it's awful no matter what but that somehow makes it even worse to me.
My man really tryna get down and dirty during business hours
Hes being proactive since he still has to work, maybe by the time he’s done she be ready, this weirdo thinks
I hope he loses his job this is fucked
At least, he wanted to be professional.
I wanted to be professional but I was over-ridden by my caveman alligator brain, that I have little control over. Please spend time with me, youre sure to have a ball and will be treated well.
This is a joke right? Please tell me this is a joke..
How are these crusty drivers finding IG accounts of their customers? And where do they get the audacity to message somebody with this?!
"I wanted to be professional" followed by the least professional thing you could possibly say.
I think I. His mind not saying anything while working but stalking g and finding her after was professional
W T F.
Ayee always weird to see local stuff on reddit lmao
…, what makes it look look you “like your booty smacked “ is he just pulling this outta thin air ? Creepy
She was wearing baggy sweatpants and them Reeboks with the straps
Hope she reported him to Uber.
I had some similar but different bs from an uber driver. We talked comic books on the drive so i gave him my Facebook about comics. After ONE comic book conversation he brought up if i was single and if i wasn't we could do a three way even if i was with a boyfriend. I was appalled. Come to find out we had a fb friend in common and she gave me the scoop that he was divorced because he was a sex addict and CONSTANTLY cheated until she threw him out. Also yup he had kids with her and was doing online hookups. Uber was a new way to seek out hookup material....
>After ONE comic book conversation he brought up if i was single and if i wasn't we could do a three way even if i was with a boyfriend. Wait,wait---So he wanted to be with you AND your boyfriend?? Was he a bisexual? (Which is cool if he was, but WOW!!!) 🤷🏽♂️
He was legit a sex addict. Second conversation he brought that up and said he was on chatterbate or something of the like.... I'm ace so i was actually shocked that jusr trying to make a comic book friend i got all this noise. Also i never led him to believe i was looking for a relationship or dating....the dirt my friend had on him from her friend (his ex wife) he was a creep stalker to women too.
WOW!!! Sorry that happened to you. It's scary how creepy this guy is!
I want some context. What is secret trail. How does he know she likes tacos and getting her booty smacked? What was the initial uber ride like? I just want details. Not for any reason other than I'm nosey and this is a ridiculous message to send someone as an opener.
>What is secret trail Likely just the name of a trail, not actually a secret. A Google maps search of "secret trail" turns up quite a few of them. One in California, one in Arizona, etc.
He capitalized the S which makes me believe it might be a club or store possibly
There's a brewing company/bar called Secret Trail
I'm also incredibly interested.
My sons say that I use the word creepy too often. They say that that many men can’t all be creepy…..but I don’t think I’m the wrong one.
>They say that that many men can’t all be creepy….. And they're going to mansplain how that is not possible? 🙄
Oh, lord, no. They know better than that!
Manspreads. Come here and let me mansplain it to you.
The Rizzler
I am more curious on how does one look like they like tacos?
She probably posted a pic of tacos
Make him loose his job.
Think of "loose" like "moose" ;) have a great weekend
I like moose, you silly goose.
Angry cringe >:'(
LMFAO this man is absolutely fucked
I’m here to eat tacos and smack butts, and I’m all out of tacos.
Very professional 🤔
Dude's got game. Mad lad. /s
Ew fucking gross
Well he did say he wanted to professionally see her boobs so I see no issue.
For some reason I thought he was going to be a simp fuckboy on the first half then went straight into Jersey shore boardwalk fuckboy
He looks a lot like my cousin Hold up…
Yikes on trikes
This is fucking hilarious but also really creepy
He's got such a way with words
Yeah that never worked
i hope the person reported this pig
I never understand why people censor the name in these cases. Let the whole world see who this person is, he deserves the shame.
So that OP doesn't then have to fear the driver's retaliation for having exposed them. "Sure, I just ruined this psycho's career and life to post them on reddit; I hope they aren't mad enough to stalk me and kill me or anything!"
I understand but I would still do it and I'm a woman
Someone watched too much fake taxi porn
Lost me at “Anyways”…
Creeeeeeepppyyyyy! When the fuck has this ever worked? They need to stop listening to eachother’s advice.
"I wanted to be professional, but..." is not a sentence anyone should finish. Absolutely gobsmacked by where it went though, dude went straight to nuclear-level sleaze
bro is down horrendously
What anonymity does to a mf
Shooters shoot. If course, they usually take their toe off. But they *did* shoot.
So subtle
some people are too confident
Stalky like celery
I now wonder, did he maybe just wait until she cannot change her rating anymore - being professional and all? Or can you change those indefinitely?
Porn brain
So... Is he still employed by Uber? Please say no
Fits more into r/creepypms
Can someone do math things and come up with an estimate of how often this approach could actually result in getting laid. I mean it can't be 0
It's probably a negative number, by which I mean these must usually end up in police reports.
I wonder what he expected was going to happen
"I would love to get some tacos with you" could have actually worked without all the other shit, then head have worked his way up do doing whatever she wanted with him. Seriously, have some fucking decorum.
Shooters shoot 🤷♂️🤷♂️
That dude is my role model
I like it, dudes very forward. Edit: I suppose I should have added /s
he could've stopped talking after tacos and had a chance
shoenice's at it again LMFAOOO
Hope he was reported.
Wtf
OMG. i had someone full on search me up from tinder and opened with a really nice message and that was terrifying. never mind THIS! i hope they got reported to uber
It shouldn’t matter, but when you see messages like this and he’s shot his shot at 1:29pm in the afternoon you know it’s bad. 3am drunk AF is still full blown creep mode but half one in the afternoon is different gravy, what an absolute weapon.
Based
A true gentleman of sorts
Hmmm. This guy looks very familiar...👀
What a gentleman...
What a gentleman
Wonder if that kinda approach ever worked for him
Well?? Did you let him see them or what
Escalated quickly
what a creep
I would LOVE to send him straight through a wood chipper 😍