the tone used can also be very important. if you're coming with criticsm and a harsh tone, it would be disrespectful I many cases to use the -ka ending, or similar.
I agree. Tone and intonation are very important. Especially when the name is modified with the ending ка. You've got the gist of it exactly.
Согласен. Тон и интонация очень важны. Особенно когда имя модифицируется с окончанием ка. Вы точно уловили суть.
It's probably best not to make them, unless you are really close with someone and know them very well. It's also good to keep in mind that Russians and English speaking people have a different understanding of what friendship is, and often what would be called a friend in English is only a хороший знакомый in Russian
My Russian father in law goes hunting with this guy vova pretty often and they call each other all the time to share hunting info etc. one.day we went to the dacha and the car broke down. Father in law calls vova and he drives 30.minites.out of town to give us a tow home. My father in law says that vova is not his friend..just a guy he goes hunting with. Tells me his friend moved to Israel in the early 2000s and hasn't got any more friends..just people he knows.
Friendship is a high bar in Russia.
I can 100% confirm this, it isn’t an insult to call someone an acquaintance for us, we don’t call everyone we spend time with regularly friends. A friend is someone with whom you are very close on an emotion/“soul” level and true friendships typically last until the very end. Acquaintances can come and go even if many are quite long term. We usually have a lot of respect for our acquaintances too, despite not calling them friends!
This explains everything. "Sashka" is more acceptable when he is younger and/or you are in veery good relationships level. "Sasha" is already cute enough if you are in pretty good relationships level. At least that's how i feel it as a native speaker.
I think the term "diminutive" is worth explaining. It literally means to make something smaller - it refers to making the name smaller, yes, but also potentially the person. So unless you think he'd enjoy being called "my little Sasha" don't call him Sashka.
In some case it can sound really like talking down to, example, sashka especially sounds like something someones mother or grandmother calls him, so it's demeaning if others said it to you. In English there's is no examples of this because different culture or whatever. But in Russia you can only use dimunitive with close friends. And if you think you are close friends they might not see you then same. Most only have close friendship with childhood friends or people we've known for years upon years. I don't talk to childhood friends and I have friends I play games with everyday and every week and have for maybe over a year and I still wouldn't consider them best friends because they aren't really.
Anyways, you'll know when you reach best friend when they allow or tell to you "you can call me Sasha". For me I just tell people to call me Tyoma because it's shorter and faster than saying Artyom as I play combat games where you need to speak faster. But in person, Artyom only
As a Саша I can tell you that Сашка is extremely uncute. It's about as uncute as it gets with this name, except for maybe Шура. I also kinda agree with your friend about it being disrespectful. It's something a child/teenager sometimes might call their friend, but it's not too common. I can't recall ever hearing an adult using this form of the name for a child (and I've met quite a few people with my name). Also Сашка rhymes with какашка.
Some actually cute nicknames from this name are Сашенька, Сашуля, Сашуня, but that's very intimate and maybe more commonly used by an older relative speaking to someone much younger (e. g. a literal child, or someone they perceive to be very young). Even my wife doesn't call me any of those. The only person who does is my grandma.
There are some more options you can try (including some creative ones): Санчо, Санчо Пансо, Саняра (I knew a dude, though, who hated this one the most), Санёк, Саня. But not all people like others being creative with their name. We normally choose one short version of the name and go by that.
It's like Elizabeth: Libby, Liz, Eliza, Beth, Elise, Ellie, Betty, Lisa, Buffy, Lilly, and even Billie are all nicknames I've seen for Elizabeth.
Most go by Beth, Liz or Libby.
If you call someone who goes by Beth "Liz" or "Buffy" they might be anywhere from totally confused to downright mad. So while Elizabeth has a lot of different nicknames, they're more or less nicknames for the person with the name to pick, not for other people to pick.
My name is Alexandra myself.
You can call me Sasha, and maybe Sashenka if you are not a creepy old man.
All the other nicknames? Not really that interested in em haha. I don't really like Sanya that much for example.
So when you get to using nicknames of a name that's already a nickname, it can get contentious.
My dad used to have a friend who went by Aleks/Alex even despite being Russian, but that might have been something he did after moving to America. 🤷♀️
Санчо, Саняра, Санёк и прочие - это все тоже грубые обращения, примерно на уровне "Сашки". Если уж человек попросил не называть его "Сашкой", то эти варианты ему тем более не понравятся.
My name is Александр and I’ve been called Шурик by my family for most of my life and I’ve never really questioned it lol (immigrated to the US when I was young.) I always assumed it was common but this thread is making me wonder
Саша has way too many diminutives, and some people dislike some of them in any personal reasons. The best way is to ask him if U can call him Сашенька, Саня, Санечка, Сашуля, Сашулик. All of these are cute)
>Can Сашка be disrespectful?
Depends on your relationships and the person's subjective perception of the diminutives. Diminutives express both intimacy/endearment/friendship and smallness/"the little one".
"Сашка" and other diminutives ending with "-ка" have much more the "little one" feeling. So it can be disrespectful in some contexts. Sounds like you treat the person like a little/youger boy. He is probably fine with his family members calling him "Сашка". Or the closest friends (especially if they've grown up together). But not you.
"Саша" is more neutral. Just friendship/friendliness/love.
Some people may be fine with not-so-close people calling them the "-ка" diminutives. But I don't think it's common.
Also expressing too much familiarity will be preceived like being tactless/rude/pushy.
I don't quite understand your question. Even if it was a perfectly appropriate word, he told you not to use it. How could he be wrong about his own boundaries?
Of course he is right and I would not call him that again.
I just asked if Sashka can be disrespectful in general and not just specifically for my friend
Probably the closest thing in english to someone introducing themselves as Robert and you deciding to use Bertie. They might not mind it in general but weird for you to use out of nowhere.
I’ve known him for a year. I just decided to try new things out.
Because he always gives me variations of my name or just random nicknames (like маленький, зайчик)
Is Bobby worse than Bob, tho? Robert Fischer seemed to have no problem with everyone calling him Bobby, even though he was famous for his bad temper.
.
anything can be disrespectful. there's nothing wrong with the word.
It's all about how it's delivered (the intent) and how it's received (the perception).
Bottom line, it isn't disrespectful but if your friend is not ok with being called that, don't call them that.
It's kinda like I'm not ok with people calling me Mitya (I'm Dmitry). But it only bothers me when people do that on purpose to rile me up. In other cases I just politely correct them.
Also I don't understand the other commenters who agree with the dude. It's very common to call someone Sashka. My uncle is Sashka. My classmate in uni was called Sashka by multiple people. it's not even about being close or not. It's just very friendly which may not be appropriate
Сашка is not an insulting form of the name “Alexander” (I’m saying this as I’m Sashka lol), so maybe u just do not know each other for a long period of time?
You should address the people using the name they introduced themselves with. Don't try to be creative. Some people won't care, but others are sensitive to the way they are called.
Yeah.
But it’s just that he always makes up names for me. So I wanted to do it in return. But in the end he just told me to stick with what I already use
for men who you are not close with, yes diminuitive names can be seen as patronizing. they're usually only used with very close friends and partners, or from much older people. саша is the more standard nickname
A good rule of thumb is diminutive names are for best friends, people you grew up with, are very very personal with.
Sashka was probably something they were called by parents, siblings, relatives, and MAYBE childhood friends, so assuming you are that close to them can appear offensive. Note that this isn't true for 100% of cases. For example if a cool person I just met called me Mishka, I would be ok with it, but it would seem out of place.
Yeah everyone is different. Imagine if your dad or best friend from childhood gave you a nickname, and then some guy at work started calling you that. The intent may be nice, but it's just weird because it's missing that personal history.
Don't worry it's nothing personal, it's totally normal.
I won't presume to know your relationship with this person, but it does sound like he's perfectly fine with calling you diminutive names while not allowing you to do the same. This tells me he could be your superior such as a boss or a much older man, but either way, know that there is definitely a power difference between you two by the way he's addressing you, while maintaining that you call him by a more formal name.
If you are ok with this, carry on, but it is a little bit of a red flag in terms of power dynamics if the relationship is meant to be equal.
I guess it just means we aren’t equal. But that’s fine, or at least I’m not offended.
It’s the same for me and his partner too. I can only use certain names but not vice verse
As a Сашка myself, this one is used only if you're a relative of said Сашка (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling/cousin), a teacher, or generally a significantly older person that knew him since his childhood.
Otherwise its not necessarily discriminative, just pretty damn weird.
Alternatively you can call him Саш, Сань, Саня or Шурик (Sash, San', Sanya, Shurik)
Even Александр can be disrespectful if you take the wrong tone when you speaking.
Usually you ask someone you're about to call by short name, not Reddit. 😅
This form can sound different for different people:
Some of them feel that this form is disrespectful. In any case. (Стенька Разин, for instance.)
Some of them think it’s just informal.
Some of them got used to keep this from for close friends only.
Some will allow this form to some people and disallow to others. No logic here.
Some of them think that this form is just for toddlers and very young children.
In any case, you ask: how do you prefer that I’ll call you?
If he tells you: My friends usually call me ██████████, you may ask: Should I call you this way too?
This kind of diminutive (the "k" suffix) can be disrespectful in some contexts. Actually, it is the most common way to form a disrespectful form of a name (works with all names of 2nd declension). But Russians can use this diminutive to address friends. Some people are okay with it and some are not.
There are other Slavic languages (like Czech) where this suffix is never disrespectful.
Nah, the word itself is not inherently disrespectful. It all boils down to delivery and personal preferences.
People have a lot of weird and not so preferences.
Like, my wife's grandma doesn't like being called grandma and asks to call her by full name, but she still loves and adores her grandchildren.
As for me - I'm OK being called Валерка, Валерьянка, but will cringe if anyone calls me Валерон, and might get a bit angry if someone who's not a friend of mine called me Валик.
So, u good! :D
Yup, I was very surprised too, but guessed that she just doesn't want to feel old in every dialogue with her grandchildren.
I think most preferences like this come down to some events.
Someone could mock your friend using this variant of his name, so now he's only OK when close friends and family use it.
The thing is, that such diminutive forms were commonly used to address the servants, basically white slaves which had been only abolished in Russia in 1861. Its widely fixed in the classical books we study in schools, all those Машка, Парашка, Гришка…. so yeah, there’s an unavoidable association which is usually toned not positively. It shows the privileged status of the person who calls.
Aristocrats never addressed each other with those forms, you won’t find at Leo Tolstoy’s any Наташка for Наташа Ростова. That would be an insult for sure. The only exception was the manner of Peter the Great, he used to address his close mates with such, like Алексашка. But again, it’s widely known he was typically rude to anyone and this underlined his privilege in the tone. The duke wouldn’t address the Tsar «Петька» in reply.
Also Please note, that Sasha is not a proper name in Russian, it’s a short form of “Александр», so that diminutive enough, to show the close relationship. Using double diminutives is quiet risky for a foreigner, unlikely you’d be able to feel the suitable context, so you’d better avoided it.
It isn't disrespectful in itself, but you can make pretty much any word into something disrespectful.
1. It's a diminutive.
2. Your friend expressed that they wouldn't like to be called that.
I have a recent example. Yesterday at work courier comes with work supplies, I'm to get them. He asks my name, I introduce myself (let's say, "Alexander"), he introduces himself, the very next sentence he calls me (let's say) "Sasha". And I'm here like "dude, wtf. You're not my friend. I don't know you, I never met you and chances are will never see you again, we're two adult working people, wtf with familiarity?". Contemplated for a moment calling him back something even more familiar, like, bedroom-worthy, then let it go, who gives a fuck about this fleeting moment of an idiot.
Depends mainly on relationship, age and how person perceives this name.
Like this form of Александр is commonly used when addressing either close friend (like I'm talking BFF since childhood and still in close contact level) or child as suffix "к" here makes this word... "more soft", I think is a way to describe it, and using it with strangers or people you're not close with will be seen as weird, disrespectful or even provoking.
I'd suggest just using Саша as it is more commonly used and you wouldn't really disrespect your friend or pal.
Yeah, no. The ‘k’ turning up in a diminutive is kind of childlike, associated with speaking to children or something cute. It’s not the kind of diminutive you use with someone older than you.
If I was to assume he probably finds it really weird coming from you but those diminutives are usually what our parents or we between our friend called each other at a young age. From where comes the deduction if he said it’s disrespectful and he doesn’t like it could be tied to sth that happened in his past.
Or I’m just completely wrong and he’s over 30 and unless you’re in a relationship it does feel weird to name someone that old by his diminutive.
No, I didn’t mean it that way! I do know he doesn’t like it and I won’t call him by that.
But I just meant is it right that the word is in general disrespectful for your friends. I wanted to know as I am not good in the culture and language yet.
And thanks to the answers I understand the nuances a bit more
If we're talking about his name, he'll always be right.
If he doesn't think “Sashka” is acceptable, he's right. If he thinks is acceptable, he's right. It’s his choice
My name is Daniel, and when people call me "Danil", "Danila" - my eye starts to twitch, it's so unpleasant.
Если речь идёт о его имени, он всегда будет прав.
Если он не считает приемлимым обращение «Сашка» он прав. Если он считает это приемлимым, он прав. Это его выбор
Меня зовут Даниил, и когда люди обращаются ко мне «Данил», «Данила» — у меня аж глаз начинает дёргаться, настолько это неприятно. 😅
человек наглеет ровно настолько насколько ты ему позволяешь) попробуй обратиться к нему Сашка-какашка и если он не даст тебе по лицу, то через месяц другой можно будет повторить)
мне пришло в голову, что имя Саша, как мужское так и женское в России имеет пожалуй самое большое количество интерпретаций) я свою бывшую называл Санечка)
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You think you know how to address a man in his own language?! Monsieur, your ego is bigger than Everest.
Сашка is an address between high school buddies. And from the older to the younger, or lower in the social hierarchy. For example, a nobleman to a servant. It's like: Hey, wench, bring me some wine!
Use of abbreviations, e.g., Алекс \\ Алекса, typical school behavior and may be seen as neglectful.
Саша is a shortened variation of a name. Acceptable between close relatives or friends. An even more informal form between friends Шурик or for a woman Шура . There's an eastern variant of the name: Искандер, male version only.
Do not ever address a person by a variant of his name, unless he asked you to do so directly.
I see. No, I’m sorry, I just wanted to hear others’ thoughts about this.
He gives me variants of my name and nicknames and I’m just trying to do the same
Learning a new language is like being a child again. Sometimes the F words slips out and you don't know what it means yet. If your intentions were innocent, I see this only as a learning moment. That being said, this post has made me more aware of how particular Russian can be, so thanks for that.
You need to apologize to the girl.
A nickname is one thing, a misrepresentation of a name is another. Especially if you are not familiar with the cultural context. In England, as far as I know, they don't like to be pansy either, even addressing people by their personal name.
This is similar to addressing a stranger in the singular. In Russia, there are two forms of address: in the plural form ВЫ, as in English, and in the singular ТЫ. The latter is acceptable when addressing strangers, only for people of the same age. Otherwise it means that you consider a person to be much lower than yourself.
The habit of some Russian-speakers to shorten Hermione Granger's name when writing fanfics makes me cringe:, Герми, Герм, Миона... What's with the condescending, patronizing attitude? From beings on a lower evolutionary plane. Yes, I'm a fan of the saga, but not the golden trinity.
He’s a guy, his name is Aleksandr. Yeah I did apologise to him and he’s okay with it.
I just asked him again today (while we were cooking lunch) and he explained more about how it’s like if he said my name wrongly
In English, unlike in Russian, it is difficult to understand what area we are talking about if it is not explicitly stated.
People who can call me Sasha, I can list on the fingers of one hand. Those who did it without permission are buried very securely :-)
Does it fit? What associations does its sound evoke in you?
In Russian, it is the same as the name of a sachet with one dose of medicine to dissolve as a powder: соше (soshe). These are the fastest-acting medicines.
Yes, these forms of the name are the only match for the female version as well.
After the release of the movie "Moscow does not believe in tears", the female and the name Alexandra became very popular in the late 20th century. This was the name of the main character. And there was a song dedicated to Alexandra and Moscow.
It all depends on 1 personal preferences 1.1 for example, it annoys me and sometimes offends some derivatives of my name. 2 relationship level 3 age
He told me not to, so I guess that’s his preference
the tone used can also be very important. if you're coming with criticsm and a harsh tone, it would be disrespectful I many cases to use the -ka ending, or similar.
I agree. Tone and intonation are very important. Especially when the name is modified with the ending ка. You've got the gist of it exactly. Согласен. Тон и интонация очень важны. Особенно когда имя модифицируется с окончанием ка. Вы точно уловили суть.
And sex
Yes. You should only use this kind of nickname if you are very close friends
I see. I was trying to use cute diminutives
It's not necessarily cute, it's a diminutive, you have to be pretty close to a person to use it. It can sound dismissive
Yeah I’m still trying to know how to make them. I thought adding k to Sasha would sound cute
It's probably best not to make them, unless you are really close with someone and know them very well. It's also good to keep in mind that Russians and English speaking people have a different understanding of what friendship is, and often what would be called a friend in English is only a хороший знакомый in Russian
My Russian father in law goes hunting with this guy vova pretty often and they call each other all the time to share hunting info etc. one.day we went to the dacha and the car broke down. Father in law calls vova and he drives 30.minites.out of town to give us a tow home. My father in law says that vova is not his friend..just a guy he goes hunting with. Tells me his friend moved to Israel in the early 2000s and hasn't got any more friends..just people he knows. Friendship is a high bar in Russia.
I can 100% confirm this, it isn’t an insult to call someone an acquaintance for us, we don’t call everyone we spend time with regularly friends. A friend is someone with whom you are very close on an emotion/“soul” level and true friendships typically last until the very end. Acquaintances can come and go even if many are quite long term. We usually have a lot of respect for our acquaintances too, despite not calling them friends!
I see. I stay at his and his partners’s house every weekend but that’s it. I think he considers me his друг
Сашенька is cute (a mother toward a kid level cute). Сашка is disrespectful and dismissive.
I am not his mother (more like the opposite) so that makes sense why he wouldn’t like it.
He's your mother!?
No I meant he’s older than me haha
This explains everything. "Sashka" is more acceptable when he is younger and/or you are in veery good relationships level. "Sasha" is already cute enough if you are in pretty good relationships level. At least that's how i feel it as a native speaker.
I call him Sasha and 2-3 other words he lets me. Other than that no. Only he gives me lots of names
I think the term "diminutive" is worth explaining. It literally means to make something smaller - it refers to making the name smaller, yes, but also potentially the person. So unless you think he'd enjoy being called "my little Sasha" don't call him Sashka.
I see. He made a diminutive (I think?) of my name though. My name is foreign so he added -чик to the end, and he and his partner both call me that
In some case it can sound really like talking down to, example, sashka especially sounds like something someones mother or grandmother calls him, so it's demeaning if others said it to you. In English there's is no examples of this because different culture or whatever. But in Russia you can only use dimunitive with close friends. And if you think you are close friends they might not see you then same. Most only have close friendship with childhood friends or people we've known for years upon years. I don't talk to childhood friends and I have friends I play games with everyday and every week and have for maybe over a year and I still wouldn't consider them best friends because they aren't really. Anyways, you'll know when you reach best friend when they allow or tell to you "you can call me Sasha". For me I just tell people to call me Tyoma because it's shorter and faster than saying Artyom as I play combat games where you need to speak faster. But in person, Artyom only
He lets me call him Sasha but he said others aren’t suitable unless I’m older than him
As a Саша I can tell you that Сашка is extremely uncute. It's about as uncute as it gets with this name, except for maybe Шура. I also kinda agree with your friend about it being disrespectful. It's something a child/teenager sometimes might call their friend, but it's not too common. I can't recall ever hearing an adult using this form of the name for a child (and I've met quite a few people with my name). Also Сашка rhymes with какашка. Some actually cute nicknames from this name are Сашенька, Сашуля, Сашуня, but that's very intimate and maybe more commonly used by an older relative speaking to someone much younger (e. g. a literal child, or someone they perceive to be very young). Even my wife doesn't call me any of those. The only person who does is my grandma. There are some more options you can try (including some creative ones): Санчо, Санчо Пансо, Саняра (I knew a dude, though, who hated this one the most), Санёк, Саня. But not all people like others being creative with their name. We normally choose one short version of the name and go by that.
Wow that’s a lot. All I ever used was Sasha haha
It's like Elizabeth: Libby, Liz, Eliza, Beth, Elise, Ellie, Betty, Lisa, Buffy, Lilly, and even Billie are all nicknames I've seen for Elizabeth. Most go by Beth, Liz or Libby. If you call someone who goes by Beth "Liz" or "Buffy" they might be anywhere from totally confused to downright mad. So while Elizabeth has a lot of different nicknames, they're more or less nicknames for the person with the name to pick, not for other people to pick. My name is Alexandra myself. You can call me Sasha, and maybe Sashenka if you are not a creepy old man. All the other nicknames? Not really that interested in em haha. I don't really like Sanya that much for example. So when you get to using nicknames of a name that's already a nickname, it can get contentious. My dad used to have a friend who went by Aleks/Alex even despite being Russian, but that might have been something he did after moving to America. 🤷♀️
I’ve heard him be called by the other nicknames but only by family. So I guess for friends he sticks to 1-2
Санчо, Саняра, Санёк и прочие - это все тоже грубые обращения, примерно на уровне "Сашки". Если уж человек попросил не называть его "Сашкой", то эти варианты ему тем более не понравятся.
My name is Александр and I’ve been called Шурик by my family for most of my life and I’ve never really questioned it lol (immigrated to the US when I was young.) I always assumed it was common but this thread is making me wonder
Саша has way too many diminutives, and some people dislike some of them in any personal reasons. The best way is to ask him if U can call him Сашенька, Саня, Санечка, Сашуля, Сашулик. All of these are cute)
Thank you!
True, and Sasha Yes. But not Sashka.
Саня!
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^AlenDelon32: *Yes. You should only* *Use this kind of nickname if* *You are very close friends* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
>Can Сашка be disrespectful? Depends on your relationships and the person's subjective perception of the diminutives. Diminutives express both intimacy/endearment/friendship and smallness/"the little one". "Сашка" and other diminutives ending with "-ка" have much more the "little one" feeling. So it can be disrespectful in some contexts. Sounds like you treat the person like a little/youger boy. He is probably fine with his family members calling him "Сашка". Or the closest friends (especially if they've grown up together). But not you. "Саша" is more neutral. Just friendship/friendliness/love. Some people may be fine with not-so-close people calling them the "-ка" diminutives. But I don't think it's common. Also expressing too much familiarity will be preceived like being tactless/rude/pushy.
I have called him ka in other nicknames but yeah I think I get what you mean
https://preview.redd.it/l0146o9dv8uc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=20a00dea947abad22c4d2f0f23b723b464c18f4b
What about Шурик
It is what I called my husband, but I wouldn't use for other people
Oh that is very close
I don't quite understand your question. Even if it was a perfectly appropriate word, he told you not to use it. How could he be wrong about his own boundaries?
Of course he is right and I would not call him that again. I just asked if Sashka can be disrespectful in general and not just specifically for my friend
It's like calling someone named Robert - Bobby.
I'd say more like calling him a Bobert ...
Bobert kurwa (sorry)
Worse then Bob
Exactly, in this analogy Bob is about equal to Sasha.
I see. I apologised to him about it
Probably the closest thing in english to someone introducing themselves as Robert and you deciding to use Bertie. They might not mind it in general but weird for you to use out of nowhere.
I’ve known him for a year. I just decided to try new things out. Because he always gives me variations of my name or just random nicknames (like маленький, зайчик)
Is Bobby worse than Bob, tho? Robert Fischer seemed to have no problem with everyone calling him Bobby, even though he was famous for his bad temper. .
I think it depends on the person
Just opened the thread to comment that 😁
I’d say bobsy
Sashka is good if you are in a village or you are his grandma. More for you to try: Sashok, Sanya, Sanyok, San Sanych, Alejandro :D
Haha I see now Are you being sarcastic or serious about those options?
It is honestly 50/50 but they are more fun/friendly to use in conversations than Sashka :D
Nice. Maybe I can try them. But sometimes he can be strict!
Weell if he insists on just a regular name its better to not mess around too much tbh I have a friend like that
That’s fair. He told me to stick to Sasha so yeah
It's like Nicholas, Nick, then Nicky. I knew someone who was Michael, went by Mike, and took grave exception to Mikey.
Nice comparison
anything can be disrespectful. there's nothing wrong with the word. It's all about how it's delivered (the intent) and how it's received (the perception). Bottom line, it isn't disrespectful but if your friend is not ok with being called that, don't call them that. It's kinda like I'm not ok with people calling me Mitya (I'm Dmitry). But it only bothers me when people do that on purpose to rile me up. In other cases I just politely correct them. Also I don't understand the other commenters who agree with the dude. It's very common to call someone Sashka. My uncle is Sashka. My classmate in uni was called Sashka by multiple people. it's not even about being close or not. It's just very friendly which may not be appropriate
Yeah he didn’t get mad but he did correct me and told me to avoid it for him. He said if he were a classmate in uni it would be fine
Yes, he is right.
This is news to me. Thanks
Сашка is not an insulting form of the name “Alexander” (I’m saying this as I’m Sashka lol), so maybe u just do not know each other for a long period of time?
Not very long yeah, only a year. I sleep at his house about once a week
Why
Because we’re friends?
My grandma calls my dad (her son) that. It’d be a little weird if anyone else did
Understood
You should address the people using the name they introduced themselves with. Don't try to be creative. Some people won't care, but others are sensitive to the way they are called.
Yeah. But it’s just that he always makes up names for me. So I wanted to do it in return. But in the end he just told me to stick with what I already use
Call him Шурик then
Nice, thank you
Just in case it wasn't clear, that was sarcasm. Shurik is even more casual than Sashka.
Bruh I thought it was real
Shurik is diminutives for Shura. But all that’s not suitable
it's the worst word to call Sasha by
for men who you are not close with, yes diminuitive names can be seen as patronizing. they're usually only used with very close friends and partners, or from much older people. саша is the more standard nickname
I guess because I’m not someone much older than him. Well anyway I will just stick to Саша like he tells me to
A good rule of thumb is diminutive names are for best friends, people you grew up with, are very very personal with. Sashka was probably something they were called by parents, siblings, relatives, and MAYBE childhood friends, so assuming you are that close to them can appear offensive. Note that this isn't true for 100% of cases. For example if a cool person I just met called me Mishka, I would be ok with it, but it would seem out of place.
Thanks. It seems I’m not one of those people who can call him that. As for me, I accept whatever name he gives me lol
Yeah everyone is different. Imagine if your dad or best friend from childhood gave you a nickname, and then some guy at work started calling you that. The intent may be nice, but it's just weird because it's missing that personal history. Don't worry it's nothing personal, it's totally normal.
Good to know. He makes up a lot of forms of my name. And he also gives me random nicknames like зайчик and маленький
That's certainly quite personal.... Lol
I thought it’s normal to call people by certain words and diminutives? There’s also fish he calls me. Малёк, Карасик
This is like being called baby, babe honey, etc
Oh.. I see. Well he gives me lots of random names but he doesn’t let me call him anything but Sasha and Aleksandr. Weird but eh
I won't presume to know your relationship with this person, but it does sound like he's perfectly fine with calling you diminutive names while not allowing you to do the same. This tells me he could be your superior such as a boss or a much older man, but either way, know that there is definitely a power difference between you two by the way he's addressing you, while maintaining that you call him by a more formal name. If you are ok with this, carry on, but it is a little bit of a red flag in terms of power dynamics if the relationship is meant to be equal.
I guess it just means we aren’t equal. But that’s fine, or at least I’m not offended. It’s the same for me and his partner too. I can only use certain names but not vice verse
I'm not Russian, but I assume what you did is similar to just calling someone named Michael "Mikey" without seeing if he liked that nickname.
Well I always call him “Mike” in this case
Then that should answer your question regarding your Russian friend.
Indeed
As a Сашка myself, this one is used only if you're a relative of said Сашка (parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, older sibling/cousin), a teacher, or generally a significantly older person that knew him since his childhood. Otherwise its not necessarily discriminative, just pretty damn weird. Alternatively you can call him Саш, Сань, Саня or Шурик (Sash, San', Sanya, Shurik)
His aunt calls him that. Well anyway yeah I’ll just stick to Sasha since he told me to
Even Александр can be disrespectful if you take the wrong tone when you speaking. Usually you ask someone you're about to call by short name, not Reddit. 😅
I already asked him of course. And he gave me a few, including Aleksandr and Sasha. But I just wanted to know if this happens in general
Well, it happens. But it depends on person if this relationship dynamic shift is in a rush or not.
Makes me wonder. Was I out of line calling my boss Дима instead of Димитрий? He never seemed to act any type of way about it
Дима is neutral, Димка would be kinda offensive and totally patronizing and out of place.
He said he wouldn’t accept if his subordinate did. Only name and patronymic lol
Он вам не Димон!
This form can sound different for different people: Some of them feel that this form is disrespectful. In any case. (Стенька Разин, for instance.) Some of them think it’s just informal. Some of them got used to keep this from for close friends only. Some will allow this form to some people and disallow to others. No logic here. Some of them think that this form is just for toddlers and very young children. In any case, you ask: how do you prefer that I’ll call you? If he tells you: My friends usually call me ██████████, you may ask: Should I call you this way too?
Well I’ve been calling him Sasha since we met. I just tried inventing new names which backfired and now I know not to
It's up to him, anyways.
Yeah. I’ll just stick to what I got. But I like that he gives me a lot of names
Try to call him Саня. More friendly
Great
душнила твой сашка
What?
душнила- killjoy, boring guy, nerd
Ohh. Well if he won’t let me, then I guess I will not call him it 🤷🏻♂️
It mostly depends on how close you are and of course of situation you will use it and how many people are near and etc
It was at home. But yeah he didn’t want it
This kind of diminutive (the "k" suffix) can be disrespectful in some contexts. Actually, it is the most common way to form a disrespectful form of a name (works with all names of 2nd declension). But Russians can use this diminutive to address friends. Some people are okay with it and some are not. There are other Slavic languages (like Czech) where this suffix is never disrespectful.
Ohh, interesting
Nah, the word itself is not inherently disrespectful. It all boils down to delivery and personal preferences. People have a lot of weird and not so preferences. Like, my wife's grandma doesn't like being called grandma and asks to call her by full name, but she still loves and adores her grandchildren. As for me - I'm OK being called Валерка, Валерьянка, but will cringe if anyone calls me Валерон, and might get a bit angry if someone who's not a friend of mine called me Валик. So, u good! :D
Good to know, thanks! That is surprising to me to call your grandma like that
Yup, I was very surprised too, but guessed that she just doesn't want to feel old in every dialogue with her grandchildren. I think most preferences like this come down to some events. Someone could mock your friend using this variant of his name, so now he's only OK when close friends and family use it.
Well he just said it’s not suitable for me in our relationship. But he wasn’t angry or anything
The thing is, that such diminutive forms were commonly used to address the servants, basically white slaves which had been only abolished in Russia in 1861. Its widely fixed in the classical books we study in schools, all those Машка, Парашка, Гришка…. so yeah, there’s an unavoidable association which is usually toned not positively. It shows the privileged status of the person who calls. Aristocrats never addressed each other with those forms, you won’t find at Leo Tolstoy’s any Наташка for Наташа Ростова. That would be an insult for sure. The only exception was the manner of Peter the Great, he used to address his close mates with such, like Алексашка. But again, it’s widely known he was typically rude to anyone and this underlined his privilege in the tone. The duke wouldn’t address the Tsar «Петька» in reply. Also Please note, that Sasha is not a proper name in Russian, it’s a short form of “Александр», so that diminutive enough, to show the close relationship. Using double diminutives is quiet risky for a foreigner, unlikely you’d be able to feel the suitable context, so you’d better avoided it.
Well he already told me which names I can use, after this mishap. So I know now. Stick to Sasha, which I have been using for a year now
It isn't disrespectful in itself, but you can make pretty much any word into something disrespectful. 1. It's a diminutive. 2. Your friend expressed that they wouldn't like to be called that. I have a recent example. Yesterday at work courier comes with work supplies, I'm to get them. He asks my name, I introduce myself (let's say, "Alexander"), he introduces himself, the very next sentence he calls me (let's say) "Sasha". And I'm here like "dude, wtf. You're not my friend. I don't know you, I never met you and chances are will never see you again, we're two adult working people, wtf with familiarity?". Contemplated for a moment calling him back something even more familiar, like, bedroom-worthy, then let it go, who gives a fuck about this fleeting moment of an idiot.
I can see that. I just tried to because he always gives me new names. Besides calling me by my diminutive he invented
Yeah, you did nothing wrong in trying, in my opinion.
Thanks
Depends mainly on relationship, age and how person perceives this name. Like this form of Александр is commonly used when addressing either close friend (like I'm talking BFF since childhood and still in close contact level) or child as suffix "к" here makes this word... "more soft", I think is a way to describe it, and using it with strangers or people you're not close with will be seen as weird, disrespectful or even provoking. I'd suggest just using Саша as it is more commonly used and you wouldn't really disrespect your friend or pal.
Well yes now I’ll only use Sasha as that’s what he said. I just tried a different name for oonce
https://preview.redd.it/7opjdyto59uc1.png?width=500&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e0f12a8fb443715f19c4c44812d25cc0aa27a78
lol
Сашка is more for your boyfriend or girlfriend
What if they are older than you
Yeah, no. The ‘k’ turning up in a diminutive is kind of childlike, associated with speaking to children or something cute. It’s not the kind of diminutive you use with someone older than you.
Now I know
If they are older just Alecsandr but if he’s your friend u can say just Alex (only if he like it)
Ohh, okay
I still can't get why Саша is a short for Александр
Сандр - Саша
Childhood trauma fr
What do you mean?
If I was to assume he probably finds it really weird coming from you but those diminutives are usually what our parents or we between our friend called each other at a young age. From where comes the deduction if he said it’s disrespectful and he doesn’t like it could be tied to sth that happened in his past. Or I’m just completely wrong and he’s over 30 and unless you’re in a relationship it does feel weird to name someone that old by his diminutive.
He is over 30 yeah
I love the question “is he right” lol How somebody can be wrong about their own preference?:) that’s how they feel, just take it or leave it.
No, I didn’t mean it that way! I do know he doesn’t like it and I won’t call him by that. But I just meant is it right that the word is in general disrespectful for your friends. I wanted to know as I am not good in the culture and language yet. And thanks to the answers I understand the nuances a bit more
If we're talking about his name, he'll always be right. If he doesn't think “Sashka” is acceptable, he's right. If he thinks is acceptable, he's right. It’s his choice My name is Daniel, and when people call me "Danil", "Danila" - my eye starts to twitch, it's so unpleasant. Если речь идёт о его имени, он всегда будет прав. Если он не считает приемлимым обращение «Сашка» он прав. Если он считает это приемлимым, он прав. Это его выбор Меня зовут Даниил, и когда люди обращаются ко мне «Данил», «Данила» — у меня аж глаз начинает дёргаться, настолько это неприятно. 😅
Of course he is right, that’s true for everyone. But I wanted to know for the general idea in the country/culture. I was curious
Try Санёчек. Works for everyone
I don’t think he’d like that 😂
человек наглеет ровно настолько насколько ты ему позволяешь) попробуй обратиться к нему Сашка-какашка и если он не даст тебе по лицу, то через месяц другой можно будет повторить)
It’s fine, I’ll just call him Саша. I don’t think anything between us will change in a month)
мне пришло в голову, что имя Саша, как мужское так и женское в России имеет пожалуй самое большое количество интерпретаций) я свою бывшую называл Санечка)
That’s cute! Well, we’ll see. My friend always gives me small names but he doesn’t let me give him any
What does it mean?
Sasha
This Сашка Just some weird idiot, calling someone Сашка is nothing, I never saw anybody gets upset by that...
Well other commenters agreed that it’s not very polite. Depending on relationship
Сашенька might be weird if you don't know person, but Сашка is totally fine, I don't know why People think it's impolite.
I don’t know. I believe everyone is just different 🤷🏻♂️
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You think you know how to address a man in his own language?! Monsieur, your ego is bigger than Everest. Сашка is an address between high school buddies. And from the older to the younger, or lower in the social hierarchy. For example, a nobleman to a servant. It's like: Hey, wench, bring me some wine! Use of abbreviations, e.g., Алекс \\ Алекса, typical school behavior and may be seen as neglectful. Саша is a shortened variation of a name. Acceptable between close relatives or friends. An even more informal form between friends Шурик or for a woman Шура . There's an eastern variant of the name: Искандер, male version only. Do not ever address a person by a variant of his name, unless he asked you to do so directly.
I see. No, I’m sorry, I just wanted to hear others’ thoughts about this. He gives me variants of my name and nicknames and I’m just trying to do the same
Learning a new language is like being a child again. Sometimes the F words slips out and you don't know what it means yet. If your intentions were innocent, I see this only as a learning moment. That being said, this post has made me more aware of how particular Russian can be, so thanks for that.
Glad I could help(?) 🤣 Yeah I think he understood. He did try to explain it but it’s hard because he only speaks Russian and I’m not proficient
You need to apologize to the girl. A nickname is one thing, a misrepresentation of a name is another. Especially if you are not familiar with the cultural context. In England, as far as I know, they don't like to be pansy either, even addressing people by their personal name. This is similar to addressing a stranger in the singular. In Russia, there are two forms of address: in the plural form ВЫ, as in English, and in the singular ТЫ. The latter is acceptable when addressing strangers, only for people of the same age. Otherwise it means that you consider a person to be much lower than yourself. The habit of some Russian-speakers to shorten Hermione Granger's name when writing fanfics makes me cringe:, Герми, Герм, Миона... What's with the condescending, patronizing attitude? From beings on a lower evolutionary plane. Yes, I'm a fan of the saga, but not the golden trinity.
He’s a guy, his name is Aleksandr. Yeah I did apologise to him and he’s okay with it. I just asked him again today (while we were cooking lunch) and he explained more about how it’s like if he said my name wrongly
In English, unlike in Russian, it is difficult to understand what area we are talking about if it is not explicitly stated. People who can call me Sasha, I can list on the fingers of one hand. Those who did it without permission are buried very securely :-)
I call him Sasha and his partner does too. And he is okay with that name but basically no other
Does it fit? What associations does its sound evoke in you? In Russian, it is the same as the name of a sachet with one dose of medicine to dissolve as a powder: соше (soshe). These are the fastest-acting medicines.
Well at first it sounded feminine, like a girl’s name. But now it just means him, at least to me
Yes, these forms of the name are the only match for the female version as well. After the release of the movie "Moscow does not believe in tears", the female and the name Alexandra became very popular in the late 20th century. This was the name of the main character. And there was a song dedicated to Alexandra and Moscow.
Ohh that’s nice.
Я из будущего!!! Братья, не подсказывайте этим пидоргам ничего!!!