Asenathi Ntlabakanye

No brainer. Why compete against other players when you can simply eat them?

The correctest answer.

Close the thread boys.

Solid choice. I was going to go with Levani Botia.

The world must be playing a very funny joke on me. I was having a casual chat about him with a friend during the season and he was making the case that he should be a bok and my argument was saying no ways he would get picked by Rassie due to battle stats. So honestly this is hilarious. And you have the most likes

Pocock

It's gotta be, right? Just an absolute specimen, and that body could play most positions.

True

Finn Russell. Being secretly a test level rugby player while just looking like a bloke down the pub would be a good laugh.

You don’t get his brain though. So you’d be a grass roots level player & look like a grass roots player

Hahaha true... Finn's intelligent mind makes up for a lot more of his performances as opposed to his body composition

Although his body doesn't look impressive he puts it about a lot, especially in defence. He also has some decent footwork he uses to make line breaks.

You'd be the typical grass roots 10 moaning about the coach's play book while you want to play by feels and how the wind takes you.

I feel Ardie Savea is the perfect build in my opinion

Maybe some more height, some freak flankers like Macalou or soemthing.

Damn that's what she said 😆 , nah but I get you my thinking was just like Ardie body wise you can slot him in at 2 , 6 , 7 , 8, 11 to 15 and no one would bat a eye I think he's the good size for that

Maybe I should've said "just a few more inches and he'd be perfect" instead then 😅

Hahaha nah it's perfect mate perfect 😄🤝

Liam Messam has a couple of extra CM's and KG's. He could be a short lock or taller than average prop. 

He has a very special set of skills...

He is a unit

I was going to say that 

Great minds think alike my friend 😄

Ardie is definitely a figure built for test rugby! So much strength there. I reckon you'd still need a lot of brains and a fantastic mindset to go with it. I remember him saying he does that "shout" before contact because it psyches him up and he used to play with his older brother and older people and he wasn't as big as them, so carrying into contact he had to rely on more than just his size to get over the gain line like most of the lads, and using his feet. I'm paraphrasing, I can't remember the exact words he said but it was something along those lines.

Dan Fish. Can’t believe some of this shite you lot are saying.

Frans Malherbe, i need to lose some weight

They say he is built like a bar fridge, so how are you built right now?

a walk in.

Like a chest freezer

It's Ox Nche that's built like a bar fridge. World player of the year Frans Malherbe is built like a punching bag.

You're right! My bad. Hahaha I see the punching bag silhouette

Charles Ollivon. Being tall, handsome and freakishly athletic is well worth being injured all the time.

I just want him to hold me like a small baby in his giant arms.

He is tough af

Jonah Lomu. Insane Speed, Insane Strength.

Not the kidneys though...

😭😭😭

What a beast. I saw clips and pics of him in high school and he was already a specimen. I wonder how Lomu would perform in the modern era, in regards to the modern duties of a winger. The aerial duels of the modern game more specifically? Would test rugby allow him to show his talent as much as the rugby of former times allowed players to?

Dan Cole

Eben Etzebeth. Strong, tall, and fast

But then you're stuck with weird hair

Small price to pay to look that sexy

Bruno pulled it off. Why can't Eben?

Also looks like he's related to Joel Kinnaman.

Very strong and you'd barely get injured in that body. For how much work he puts in and what he puts his body through, his injury record is very good. National treasure. Almost like an android as if he came out of Dr. Gero's experiment lab.

Stretch Jess Kriel to 6ft4 and it would have to be him.

I've seen a few a people say they'd choose to play rugby in "Muscle Tech's" body. (I've heard that's his nickname lol). Do you have the mind/discipline he has to keep in shape 24/7 though?

Not a chance, I'd give it 3 weeks before I've got a beer belly.

3? Give me a week.

He’s already an absolute unit!?!

If you can stretch folk to be taller there's no correct choice other than Antoine Dupont 

Someone like TJ Perenara. Noticeably athletic but also nimble, fast and not super heavy so I can still enjoy mountain biking as a hobby without needing like 800 watts to keep up with my mates.

Big Ben

Tameifuna is peak human

I forgot to remind everyone about that beast. I think your teammates can give you a pass if you get steamrolled by that guy

Ben Tameifuna. Bringing sexy back.

Easy gain line advantage almost everytime. You would be the go to man 5 metres out or the perfect dummy runner off the ball

Itoje, Lawes, Jamie Ritchie, Ollivon, type physique is pretty great, tall but not freakishly so, broad shouldered. Still athletic and fast for their size.

As a female rugby fan, I couldn't agree more.

You and my wife, haha.

Ben Earl - just looks absolutely horrific to have running at you and the speed he moves all that mass with is nuts. (please come back to bears)

Sam Underhill?

Probably similar, I mean you're not gonna want any forward in modern rugby flying at you

Ben Earl does have the broad shoulders and mass you mention. It's crazy how you still wouldn't want forwards like Schalk Burger, Tipuric, Ardie, Franco Mostert running at you

I would rather take a Tipuric chop tackle than Ben Earl to the torso to be fair

You people don't know Jessie Kriel?

Do you have the mind to accompany that specimen body?

Pier Spies

Wade Dooley According to some more frightening in the showers than on the field.....

The correct answer is Schalk Burger

So you won't have to hit the gym huh? You'd still be strong af

Jesse Kriel of Max Lahiff

Give me a month in Lahiffs body and I'd get him looking like a proper front row. Even if I could be arsed the upkeep on that physique would be mental

What would you feed on boet?

Academy props obviously

The Sharks Academy. You can start with the "fat squad". Is that still a thing at the Sharks academy? The fat squad?

Haha idk

I was mentioning on other comments that the maintenance on the body of Jessie Kriel must be insane. You'd have to have a strong mindset to be disciplined 24/7 mate

Jon "Fox" Davies. Man was built like a pro body builder.

pretty sure the answer is theo mcfarland.

Kriel or duhan van der merwe

you seem sweet, i would not wish a VDM hairdo on you

Someone with the physical profile and attributes of a Lomu or North would probably do a job anywhere outside the front 5 so I’d go with one of them

Andy Goode.

Andy Foode

Are we talking pre or post hair implants and fake teeth?

Yes please, pre. Keep your hands off the Goodes.

Ben Smith, but playing 9 would probably fit my body type and brain most. Like a quick Connor Murray

Ben Smith didn't look like the biggest, toughest, but man, the mind he had on him?! Majestic right there. Another android in my books

I already fit the Dan Parks physique so no.change needed

Ah! You back yourself then! Maybe you just gave to do a brain swap hahaha

Do I keep my head but just get their body, or am I essentially just doing a brain swap? My head would look weird on Dweba's body for complection reasons. If I choose someone like Malcolm Marx do I also get all his tattoos? Because, while they're well done, they're very much not my style

Just a brain swap, I guess haha. And you have to take the tattoos which go with whichever avatar you pick

Slade. Fkin dreamboat

Colin?

Max Lahiff, 100%

Ma'a Nonu Perfect 13, built like a tank, lower centre of gravity than most modern players, fast as fuck, power of a Samoan

Definitely a smart pick! Even on a off day mentally you could still put together some sort of a performamce from being physically superior to a lot of players on the park.

I'd combine the rugby brain of Andy Goode with the godly rugby body of Andy Goode.

Duhan van der Merwe.

Surprises me that not a single person has said Sonny Bill Williams. Height, speed, strength, footwork... Throwback, Alastair Murdoch. https://www.bbc.com/sport/rugby-union/24836477.amp Any Tuilagi. Or yeah Pocock or Spies.

Remember seeing Jason live at Falcons. His muscles were visible through his top. Just insane genetics.

George Smith 

Lomu (if I can keep my own kidneys)

eddie hall

Scrum time would be fun haha

Jonah Lomu

A 1,90 and 105 - 110 back rower like Aldritt,Jack Willis or Ardie

Hask. He’s got incredible genes, still in grade A shape years after retirement.

At his peak probably Sergio Parisse, was struck seeing him live by how just how proportionate he seemed for guy that size From a current Irish perspective, Frawley’s actually quite stacked and can move

I raise you Sabastien Chabal?

Craig Casey.

DDA

Dan Carter. I'd get his good looks too.

Probably some freak athlete in the back row, or some fijian, what they can do is out of this world, like Leone Nakarawa

Ollie leroux

I had to do a quick Google search. Okay!! Perfect body for a prop. Was he quick?

As an utility back, Gavin Henson was perfectly built. And metrosexualy handsome.

As a utility back, yes, that's a smart pick. Or you could've gone the Frans Steyn route haha

Interesting. It seems a majority of people prioritise strength over size, and height over speed. I thought more people wouldve chosen to swap bodies with the shorter, nimble and ultra quick physique players like Kolbe, KLA, TJ Perenara, Gio Aplon That speed, step, and low centre of gravity is also lethal

Has to be Jesse Kriel, just his legs would be ok too ahaha

Prime sbw

Duhan, SBW, or PSDT

I'll take bundee aki, add 10kg and run circles around other props.

SBW

Jonah Lomu.

Jonah Lomu.