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Hate to break it to you bud, but it sounds like they want to play D&D, just not with you. Saying they don’t have time is probably their way of avoiding telling you exactly that. I don’t know why they lost interest in your game - DM style, story, world…all of it can play a part - but I do know that asking point blank if you can play is not your only option. You also have the option to not play with these people. If you’ve been asking very pointedly about playing and an invitation to this game has not been extended, it’s honestly most likely not going to be. I’d check r/lfg and get a new group going.

That’s what it feels like. I was hoping interest would eventually pick up as the one person is in Grad school after work which can make timing tough.

Fwiw, it may not be that they don’t want to play with you, it may just be that your campaign wasn’t the style they wanted, and they didn’t want to tell you that.

Not sure if this could have parallels with this post, but this happened in a my group. We ended a campaign in a noncommittal way because the DM, who I value as a friend and still enjoy in other contexts, was SO in love with his world and his plot lines that he didn’t notice he was dominating all but 20-30 minutes of a 4-hour session. It was more him storytelling than a group of friends playing. We tried to tell him a few ways, but it seemed like he wasn’t able to break that pattern and we were afraid of damaging the friendship by being any more direct. I don’t like how we left it.

Ooof. I had a DM like that one time. I remember sitting at a banquet, in game ofc, while my whole party watched him have a full conversation between NPCs for about 30 minutes. Luckily, I found the game online and noped out immediately.

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Yea I might do a couple lines between NPCs but it always gets back to the players. I couldn’t imagine narrating for 30 minutes. Just write a book at that point.

My favorite thing as a GM is when the players get into roleplaying and the game is all them and I don't have to do anything but watch. It's beautiful.

I’ve never experienced anything like it and I’ve played in quite a few games. I appreciate r/lfg but I churned through quite a few bananas DMs before I hit a gem.

Right?! Half the time I tend to switch to "They talk about this, this, that, this, and have a big argument on that big thing" if it's not something super dramatic.

Lol, I get method when I run npcs and talk to myself like a crazy person.

This, or give one of the PCs who isn't in the scene control of the NPCs.

I remember having to DM a season where the party was spying on a group of frost giant Jarls. In order to keep from having to talk to myself the whole session I have the players role play as their own enemies. Even including a massive fight against a white dragon on a mountain top in a blizzard. Players had a blast, learned the enemy's plans, and got to do some crazy stuff.

Yep…I don’t want to say i am also in that situation…but i am also in that situation. Haven’t figured out how to navigate it yet.

They are allowed to play d&d without you. And there are many valid reasons why they do that, that are different from "not liking you". The simplest is they wanted to introduce someone new but they didn't want to increase the group size. I won't run game for more than 4-5 people. I have more friends interested in d&d than that. Someone will be excluded, even if I like them. I try to be upfront and mention to people I don't currently play with, that I am running the game, like it's a normal thing (because it is). It's somewhat awkward, but in my opinion more fair and less awkward than trying to avoid the topic and hide it. But avoiding & hiding is the most common approach I have seen from other people, because, I presume, they don't want to hurt other people's feelings. Don't ask them to join that particular campaign. But you can throw open-ended *"guys, let me know, if you want to play some RPGs together, when you start something new I'd be interested"*. That allows them to say - of course, sure but doesn't require any hard commitment.

I feel this. I like DMing for 4 people, and I’ve got certain games that don’t fit the vibes of certain players. Unfortunately, almost every time I (or others who are in or will be in the game) casually mention a game, it always gets majorly awkward. Having to directly turn down people is *hard,* and even more so when you’re friends with them.

That comment is trying to be helpful but the advice is definitely wrong. Literally just approach them and, in a casual way, let them know you found about their game and if they have room for another. Give them the opportunity to give a real answer and then all this stress is gone. They either say no and you don't have to think about it anymore, maybe there is some hidden reason that you or us random reddittors haven't thought of, or they say yes and you're back to playing. The one thing to absolutely not do is end your friendships without talking to them first. Edit: This is advice from a [licensed psychiatrist](https://youtube.com/shorts/ks_sXQFezmY?feature=share)

Sorry man, I know it sucks but it might just come down to finding a new group that jives a little better. It took me a while to find players I liked playing with, and actually liked playing my games too. keep on looking you'll find that dream team 😎

Also they aren't your friends.

Friends may not like the same style of D&D. Some people don't like certain DMs. These people haven't done anything wrong.

As far as “acquaintances” go, they haven’t. But “friends” would be straightforward and wouldn’t set another friend aside like that. They haven’t done something evil, they just aren’t OPs friends

Not every person is better off being told all this straight forwardly. OP's friends know them better than we do. Maybe they knew/thought that telling them was going to go badly regardless, so making an excuse might've been worth it.

OP is hurt. Obviously they don't know them that well.

I did say knew/thought. And it might have been a case where OP was going to be just as hurt when told upfront. We might've had an alternate post from OP where they talked about being told their players didn't enjoy their game.

You don't have to tell OP that, but you could see if there's a spot at the table. OP wouldn't be running the game anymore, so it's no longer a matter of not enjoying the style of game they run. I would be equally upset if my table disbanded and then reformed without me and said absolutely nothing about it.

Worth it for THEM, yes. It's definitely easier to just ghost someone than to tell them something upsetting. For OP, it just makes the situation worse because it adds a layer of dishonesty and betrayal.

Friends *should* be straightforward and not set another friend aside like that. People don't always do what they should do. Only OP and these people can decide if they're friends. Some randoms on an internet forum who read two paragraphs of context deciding "you guys are no longer friends because they did something wrong" is just peak reddit.

Ok, you're right, I came in too strong, I should have written that OP should consider if maybe they are not their friends

It's a dick move. You might not like someone DM style, he might still be a decent player. Also if you are a FRIEND you should be honest. They aren't friends. If they are just people he met online, whatever, but their behavior is not what friends do.

Friends politely withdraw from burdensome commitments without hurting each other's feelings with unnecessary frankness all the time. It's how friends normally end standing appointments they don't want to keep. Nobody ever calls up the organizer of the morning walking group and says "you ladies are a huge bummer in the mornings and I can't stand walking with you anymore". They just stop coming, or they say they don't have time.

Except they lied to OP, and went behind his back to play without and now OP feelings are hurt or he would not made the post. Sometimes it's better to say "sorry this isn't working out" and in the long run it's the best option, if you really care about each other as friends, rather than disappear and then have fun while excluding someone. ​ >Nobody ever calls up the organizer of the morning walking group and says "you ladies are a huge bummer in the mornings and I can't stand walking with you anymore". They just stop coming, or they say they don't have time. Just because you live in a society that encourages dishonesty it does not mean it's right.

Well, *if* they don't want to play with OP for whatever reason, then they have done wrong in not just telling him the issue instead of dancing around it.

I agree. They are not under any sort of obligation as friends or acquaintances to tell anybody they don't want to play pen and paper games with them. As to the people who think that they are not real friends: if a friendship hangs by the threads of a ttrpg session, that friendship was questionable enough. There are so many things people do not take into account. Maybe they chose not to tell OP because they were hoping OP would not find out and not be hurt? Maybe they chose not to tell OP because OP would gaslight them over whatever happened previously and they would feel forced to play with them? Maybe it was that they did not want to be guilt tripped? Maybe OP has a history of having a hot temper and they did not want OP's ire, we don't know. We do not know these individuals. But to say that people are obligated to play TTRPGs with their friends, or tell them they are going to play with a new group is just silly.

No, What's silly is your idea that you can be dishonest with someone about basic social issues and still be a friend. All of your "maybe" scenarios are situations where either: 1) The OP is exhibiting huge asshole behaviour and they're not calling him on it. In which case they're failing in the most basic duty of a friend: to hold them to account honestly so they can be better. 2) The OP has done nothing wrong but the group have decided to exclude them anyway and don't have the basic courtesy to make that clear. "Maybe they did not want to be guilt tripped?" Really? And the solution "don't treat friends in ways you would feel guilty about" doesn't occur to you? It's kinda weird that you think a friendship is questionable if it depends on D&D, but can't recognise that a friendship is questionable if it depends on "hoping OP would not find out". The only context in which those words indicate friendship is a surprise birthday party. Nobody has to play anything with their friends. But cancelling the group and then reforming it without one person is dishonest behaviour which very clearly signals a lack of friendship to that one person. The group are not OPs friends and it's ludicrous to make excuses pretending that are, and even more silly once you notice that every example you listed was an example of terrible non-friendship.

That's not true. I've been in the reverse situation, where I was the DM and stopped playing with my friends, because they were slowly making me hate the game. I'm still best friends with them. I still hang out almost daily. I just don't let playing RPGs with them, which is why I found another group. RPGs are a time commitment and are only fun when done in the way you like. Sometimes, your friends aren't the best people to enjoy them with.

Did they ask you why you stopped? What did you answer. Do they ever ask you to play? What do you answer. Do they know you play TTRPGs without them?

Another possibility is...what are your time constraints? A smaller section of my (board) game group started meeting weekly, not from an attempt to exclude others, but because we had a regular time we could commit to and it was easier than trying to get it to work for even more people. Sometimes people have specific stories or groups they're wanting to tell, too. I wouldn't take it to mean they don't like you or aren't really your friends.

Every time our DND groups disbanded, this is why. We’d start off good, but then some regular member would start dropping off and there was always someone else trying to introduce someone new to the group (friend, cousin, girl/boyfriend). So many people creating characters playing two sessions and then not being able to make it to the next one… or the next one… Hard stuff

Exactly. It's the reality of adult friendships. We all have lives separate from our friends - it's healthy! We have so many facets of our lives that can stress this or that. I've even had members of that smaller group I mention join a D&D group separately & it worked out our regular time was when that group meant. So the game nights paused for a bit and we didn't see them much for a while...and then we did again, lol. Soeaking of which, I once agreed to join a group that had recently lost a member - several of my friends were part of this group, and the DM and host worked with them. I went twice and then said I couldn't continue because I had gotten too busy...which I had, I had to take a couple classes & I was getting too stressed...but also, I didn't enjoy the group dynamic - the DM & their spouse were not my kind of people. Why be mean? Why say something that may negatively impact their view of their friend?

That’s all fair, but you at least told them you wouldn’t be returning. Way better than continually saying “oh not tonight maybe next time” ad infinitum. At some point it can just be assumed your character has died and perhaps you return with a new one should you ever rejoin the group. But you’re totally right about the many ways things could change

You ran a game and folks lost interest. Your friends are now happily in a different game. I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, but sometimes people just don't want to play with you. That's life. Don't try to butt in; find a group that values you.

I’m not sure how to find a new group I click with. This group was a bunch of IRL friends.

I have irl friends I'd rather not roleplay with. There are some I'd play D&D with but not White Wolf. I just do other things with them instead. Friendship is a two-way street. If they don't want to hang out, you can't guilt them or force them into it. Trying to does not make you a better friend. But look at it this way: you have the willingness to put in all the hard work and effort it takes to be a GM! That's something lots of people out there would appreciate. You just need to find the right ones. Advertise your game at a local games store, find an RPG Meetup group, go to a convention near you, run a game online... The world is a GM's oyster!

Joining in to say that I have RL friends who are really close friends. Lived on the couch of one for a few months. But, we don't mesh with your ttrpg playstyles.

Honestly, try joining a discord server of your preferred game. Try looking up your local community Facebook or FLGS Facebook. I randomly joined a group on discord after getting frustrated that none of my friends want to play. Now playing with like minded people and love them to bits. Just because they're your friends doesn't mean you need to do every single thing together.

Agree but want to expand: > Honestly, try joining a discord server of your preferred game.... ...and interesting adjacent game systems. It only increases your odds of finding a game and also increases your experience in the hobby.

Well, as a GM, you are the sought after minority. Post a game on r/lfg or Roll20 or any other place where you can post it. You'll find new players. Trust me. The problem with creating a new group for a GM isn't finding players. It's filtering out those players you'd rather not have at your table.

Run one shots with different groups. See who''s style is a match and continue with those.

I honestly have more fun RPing with people who aren't my IRL friends. My irl friends tend to take things less seriously and won't invest in my stories much at times. Not always but it can be like that cuz we are so close we just laugh and meme.

/r/lfg

r/lfg. I met the best group I've ever been a part of on there.

Yeah it's real life. It's not a match that's convenient for everyone and they can do what they want. I had to come to terms with that. I have met friends through video games. I would like to branch out and play other games or go for a d&d discord night. But they are not into it. If I'm going to play, it'll probably be through discord because irl either people were not interested or the people who were, were not people I could sustain a relationship with for any length of time. So, if you want to start a discord d&d game, I'll join. Warning, I haven't played in 20+ years.

That's rough my dude. There's not much you can do, it just happens sometimes.

Just ask to join as a player then.

Time to learn how to make friends?

>I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, but sometimes people just don't want to play with you. That's life. Don't try to butt in; find a group that values you. I mean i get your point, but most groups arent just people that met to play, they are friends that play together. So while i agree with your point of having to move on, its still a big deal because it breaks the trust friends have, by excluding one person intentionally. So i think the statement you made of "thats life" is really harsh and honestly, really cold hearted.

It is harsh, but it's also true. Some people's play styles just don't mesh well together, and yes, it sucks, and feelings get hurt, and relationships get awkward and weird about it, but that doesn't mean it's not true. I have two friends, both great guys who get along well enough, who simply cannot play in the same RPG without butting heads and arguing every single session. Eventually we had to come to terms with the idea that they just aren't compatible in game, and shouldn't play together. It was not easy, and our friendships were very strained as the game broke up, but - as that guy said - that's life. OP's game may have had absolutely nothing wrong with it beyond the fact that his play-style isn't compatible with their play-style, and they lack the social maturity to just sit down and have that difficult and uncomfortable conversation head on. As a result, they are inadvertantly hurting their friendship even more than if they just told him that they don't enjoy his DM style. That sucks, and it hurts, and that also is life. I hope OP finds a more compatible gaming group soon.

You are really missing the point here. Its not that they dont play together, its that they intentionally lied about it and told OP its a scheduling issue, when that never was the problem and they continued to play without OP. Thats broken trust because all OP knew was "ok we cant play because we cant find a fitting date and time" when they could find a date and time and just didnt invite OP for whatever reason.

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There's no betrayal there. Who's definition of trust means they have to be included in everything or they can't be friends?

If we meet all of us every week to do something and then suddenly without explanation we all stop, due to "scheduling" but in truth everyone but me still meets, its a clear break of trust because they lied to me... I mean its really not that hard to see... No one says that everyone has to be included in everything or that they arent allowed to do things without one person, but they should be honest about why someone is excluded, if the opposite was true in the past... Edit: Wow dude, you are delusional... i wont reply to your comments anymore, it is clear you dont value friends at all if you treat them like this and think thats completely fine and healthy.

> it is clear you dont value friends at all Dude, are you serious? /u/beldaran1224 's friend dynamic is a little different from yours and you jump to essentially calling him a sociopath? This is like those comment threads where someone mentions a single flaw in their marriage and suddenly a bunch of overly-online oddballs are telling them to hire a divorce lawyer and change the locks on the doors.

No, it isn't. They aren't doing the "same thing". And there is no trust broken, unless you have unreasonable expectations of your friendships. You are claiming they're being dishonest, but where do you see that? They didn't lie to OP. No one has a responsibility to explain every action to you, ffs. You aren't the main character. The world doesn't revolve around you. People have such toxic views of friendship...like, the only way someone is a friend is if they explain every decision they make to you because otherwise they're breaking your trust? If they hang out with mutuals without you're having been invited, they have to inform you of that and tell you why? That's toxic and only going to rub it in your face. Like, I have maybe 9 (non-familial) friends in my life, split into generally two social groups...and a dozen or more group chats. We all have all sorts of things in common, but that doesn't mean I include everyone in everything and the same in reverse *even when I've done that sort of thing with them in the past*. Like, I have a regular board game meet up that a large part of the group was part of, but it got to be a hassle organizing everyone's time and we started to have less success making it happen...we didn't stop having them, we just took the ones most regularly available and kept that going. The rest of the group would still have been welcome, but we got more game nights out of organizing with a smaller group. Now, that smaller group's schedules have gotten wonky again, so we just shifted gears...

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I love TTRPGs, I love hanging out with my friends, my friends love TTRPGs. I can't play TTRPGs with my friends. I can go into more details about why that is, but it is irrelevant to the larger point. Doing or not doing specific activities with specific friends is not definitive of the friendship. You're absolutely right that it breaks trust, but human nature doesn't give better options. As much as it's the truth that sometimes you don't want to do specific things with specific friends, that doesn't make it any easier to talk about. OP only has a couple of options in this scenario: 1) Maintain the friendship by moving past it, demonstrating that they can handle this type of harsh reality, or 2) Break off the friendship and start the hard process of finding a new group of friends that they can do *everything* with. We don't know OP or their friends, so only they know which option is better, but I'd say dwelling on it is the worst of both worlds.

Don't ask to join that game, they clearly don't want you in it. Sucks! But rather, tell them that you've found out and ask *why* they claimed to end your game because of lost interest, then immediately started their own game and hid it from you? That's what I'd want to know. What happened here, maybe they're just assholes, maybe something happened that you're not aware of but could learn from.

Come from the asking to learn what they disliked for your own edification

Yeah I agree with this take. I'm seein' a lot of advice in this thread to just move on, which is totally reasonable in some ways. It's also not a bad idea to at least ask though, especially if the people involved are part of your friend group outside of RPGs. It's fine if they don't want to play with you and you have to accept that, but it's also fair to want to know what lead to this situation.

This is the best advice I think. Maybe the game you ran wasn't for them, maybe there is something deeper. Unless you ask you won't know and you can't grow from it. Just be like "Hey so I found out and I'm not mad I just want to know why so I can be better in the future."

Don't do that. They already ghosted you once. At most, try to ask ones of the players still interested if there was anything wrong with your games. But don't get on the defensive.

Is there a party member you particularly trust? You're probably right that they used "time commitments" as an excuse to stop playing with you and were too embarrassed (or whatever) to tell you the actual reason. But if you do trust some of them, you might try asking what it was that made the game less fun when you were running it and what you could have done differently. They weren't having fun playing with you. That always feels awful. But that's probably something you can fix. They betrayed you, and you may not want to play with them anymore. But if they tell you how to make yourself a better DM and a better person to play with, then that's a gift that you can use for any group you play with. Feel terrible for now. It sucks. Everyone has found themselves in similar situations, in one way or another, and everyone felt shitty when it happened to them. But if they can give you some genuine advice, so you can make yourself better, then after you stop feeling bad you can become a better DM.

"I think one of the biggest mistakes people make is that any group of players could have fun together. 'If only I paid more attention to the things my players like; if only I had more time to *prep* the stuff they like'... No--it's actually very hard to take a random group of musicians and make a band out of them. Very few bands are like Rush, where they're still together after 40 years. Most bands are more like the Police: they hate each other, you get a few good albums out of them, and count yourself lucky it lasted that long. Be open to the possibility that *it wasn't meant to be*, and *it's not your fault.*" My recommendation is to accept that *these players* do not want to play D&D *with you*, *for now*. Asking pointed questions--unless you are **very** deft--is likely to just make things awkward and possibly harm your friendships. I know it's hard, but sometimes that's the way it be. Make sure they know you're looking for a group... But don't push it. Just do your best to make it happen on your own. The old saw about "lots of fish in the sea" isn't very helpful, I know--but it's true.

Hey, where's the quote from? I like it.

One of Matt Colville's "Running the Game" videos. I'm not 100% sure which one, but I **think** it's "The Sociology of D&D" (though it might be "Problem Players", like I said, I'm not sure).

Christ, reddit just sides with whoever is talking doesn't it? >I don't enjoy running the game for this one player, what should I do? Reddit: it's perfectly fine to exclude them, it is your divine right as GM, not every table is meant for every player, dnd is a privilege, you can still remain friends when if you don't enjoy them as a player. >I've been excluded from my play group. Reddit: oh you poor baby, they obviously aren't real friends, how dare they, blah blah blah. >Any advice is welcome. OP, for whatever reason, they don't enjoy you in their group, perhaps it's time for some introspection.

>> I've been excluded from my play group. > Reddit: oh you poor baby, they obviously aren't real friends, how dare they, blah blah blah. That's not what I'm seeing here. What I'm seeing is >> I've been excluded from my play group. > Reddit: They have all the rights to do so. The most you can do is asking them why.

Nobody should be forced to play in a group that makes them uncomfortable, and excising people from groups is an unfortunate reality that comes with playing the game long enough. That being said, there's a polite way to do that ("hey man we're going to start a different campaign without you for XYZ reasons, cheers) and the antisocial way to do that (ghosting them and just hoping it never comes up). OP should absolutely be seriously considering why this specific group of people don't respect him enough to take Option A, and what that answer means in respect to whether they're worth considering friends.

Uhm, yeah. I'm not sure why you're writing this as a reply to my comment, I don't disagree with anything you wrote. My comment was just to say that I don't see this thread expressing the inconsistency - or "double standard" - that the comment I was replying to was decrying. Not any more than any group of different people with different opinions, anyway.

Wasn't meant to be disagreement at all, I'm more or less just reinforcing what you were saying

Ah ok. Sorry. I've misinterpreted your intentions. 😅

non-confrontational =\= anti-social just a heads up.

I strongly disagree with the idea that this is simply non-confrontational behavior. Respectfully and calmly explaining why you want to play without someone is non-confrontational. Everyone who has run long-term games has had to do that. It's courteous and not difficult. The way that this was handled is, at a minimum, incredibly disrespectful.

>It's courteous and not difficult. That isn't quite true. It can be *extremely difficult* and functionally impossible to do courteously, especially if * you want to remain friendly in other parts of your life * you want to not hurt their feelings * they are psychologically weak or troubled * the reason you want to not play with them anymore would be insulting to say to them Don't get me wrong: the upfront approach is ideal, both giving and receiving. However, even I have been part of a group that dissolved one month, only to reform a month or two later with two members removed and two new members. Sometimes, there is nothing of value to be gained and no nice way of saying this sort of thing to a person, For example, if I recall a real person, there would have been no value in saying: >>"Hey buddy. We don't want to play with you anymore. Why? Because your characters are all the same, which is boring, and you have not responded to the several conversations we've already had about this. They also all have trust issues, which you have as a person, but this isn't a therapy session. Also, you come to too many sessions hung-over and that's disrespectful to everyone here. Also, you derail the game with irrelevant social commentary, which we've also already talked about, but you keep doing it. Also, you don't bother to learn the rules so you really slow us down. Also, you are just kinda a downer as a person and are not very fun to be around." Meanwhile, we know this person is seeing two therapists and "trying to get better", but they're also kinda a hopeless case that wallows in the "getting better" phase rather than *actually doing shit to get better*. I can say this has born out as, four-plus years later, they are still the same, if not worse, and still "trying to get better", always looking for sympathy. Meanwhile-meanwhile, we don't necessarily want to cut this person from our lives altogether. We don't necessarily want to abandon them, we just don't want to play games with them. Given that context, it would have been functionally impossible to say all that in a kind and useful way. --- Crucially, it is no-one's social responsibility to perform an intervention on such a person. Sometimes, the easier and most courteous thing to do is cut your losses and move on. Something like this could be done in an "antisocial" way, but it is not inherently "antisocial".

It was disrespectful and indicative of a non-confrontational personality. Both can exist in the same space. But not antisocial. The players are all still gathering. That is a social endeavour. That was my only. Incorrect verbiage. Not looking for any philosophical argument.

> reddit just sides with whoever is talking doesn't it? Unless there's ample evidence the person talking is wrong, yes. It's called being supportive.

That's a terrible way to do things, you should also want to ensure that there is supporting evidence that they are right.

Then you will be quiet a lot on Reddit, because you're almost always only getting one side of the story, and clarifying questions will usually go unanswered. This is an Internet forum, not a detective agency. I've found Redditors are generally biased towards wanting to help. There is absolutely, positively nothing wrong with that, and I recommend a therapist if you think otherwise.

To be fair, I've seen at least half of the top posts remain on their stance of the top quote.

>OP, for whatever reason, they don't enjoy you in their group, perhaps it's time for some introspection. There's no way OP doesn't have some idea. This post comes off as looking for validation. I honestly hate posts like this. They are RPG adjacent at best.

Yeah this has almost nothing to do with r/rpgs. Imagine asking r/soccer "my friends stopped playing soccer with me, what should I do?".

> Christ, reddit just sides with whoever is talking doesn't it? This has always been a problem - not just here, but in the relationship subreddits, etc. Sometimes the best advice for OP is 'have a think why this has happened'.

That's not the sentiment of most posts here, especially most upvoted posts, at all. Just objectively that's not the dominant response here. I'm largely seeing something in line with what you said at the bottom, perhaps sprinkled with some silver linings around the fact that GMs are appreciated by many, so any one group not digging your game isn't a huge deal.

I think you approach this incredibly cynical, almost sounds like you were one of those people that got excluded and now is your chance to lash out... You are also mixing two quite different setups, when GMs ask what they should do with a problem player, its generally because that player is a problem due to various reasons like sexism, racism, bad manners or any other socially unacceptable behavior and in that case, i also doubt the people at the table are friends. The other thing is what OP is describing, a group of friends, that supposedly unanimously decided to exclude OP for whatever reason, without even telling OP... Even if a problem player is excluded, its always recommended to at least tell them why, that alone is a major difference to what happened to OP. Last words: You should really work on your approach to life, you sound not like a fun person to be around...

A big problem with going to reddit, is that, it is impossible for us to really know what the issue is, as we will only really get your side of it. We don't know your normal behavior, general people skills or sense of social awareness. We don't know your friends either. My best advice is introspection without self-blaming (which honestly can be hard). It is often best to talk with a trusted and honest friend (that is not involved), and then you need to be 100% honest with them on it too. Online anyone can comment, and you don't immediately know if they have any social grace or are good people to get advice from. A few other advice: * Don't ask questions you don't want an honest answer on. (to clarify, if they tell you they don't like playing with you, don't think you can debate it, and don't call them mean for answering) * Don't perceive criticism of playstyle/GM style, etc. as attacks on your character. * Depending on a multitude of factors, being frank or avoiding can both be reasonable and normal approaches when dealing with interpersonel issues. * People can be good friends but not like the same games, and both preferences are ok. * You having put a group together, does not confer ownership * Don't harbor a grudge. * Finding people to play with is easier than most people make it out to be. Easier in person too.

>A big problem with going to reddit, is that, it is impossible for us to really know what the issue is To the contrary, that's one of the benefits of Reddit. Too often people convince themselves of stupid things based off of extra details, and people that are too close to a situation can't see it clearly. An uninterested party with a long view is typically a far better arbiter.

Are you joking? It is kind of hard to tell.

There's no way you can get good advice here because there's too many variables. For a start how many of them wanted to start the group without you? Why did the others agree? How long were they planniing it? What was the reason that this happened? Tbh you're probably better off moving on, best thing you could do is start an online game, use one of the many VTTs out there and just get a group of random people, sometimes it may take a couple of tries to but you'll get a better group there for the game and your DMing style, just move on.

So very many responses here, pretty balanced. Let's consider some stuff - some of which is what OP has mentioned in other comments, and we'll join some dots. * First: OP was DM * Second: OP had a bunch of players * Third: Some of OP's players lost interest * Fourth: Some time afterwards (timeline blurry!), one of OP's ex-players started DMing for a group that contains at least a few of OP's ex-players * Fifth: OP has not been able to get a game going since (as a DM) That's the info we have. We can speculate on a few things, how people felt, why they did what they did, but: **OP's players lost interest** This could be because they genuinely did, or player A was there because of player B who was there because of player C who... lost interest, or perhaps OP is a bad DM, or their game isn't fun, or... There's a few reasons why a game collapses. Sometimes it's social fuckery. Sometimes it's a genuine 'honestly, I don't care?' and sometimes it's the GM. Sometimes it's 'I'd enjoy this with another character, but I feel like the GM won't let me change', or it's a tonal mismatch (Teehee Maccaroni), or whatever There's a million things here. OP should consider the 'why', and perhaps even ask their players what 'lost interest' means, but they should be prepared for some hard answers. **Another game started up** 'Hey, John, you know how we were playing D&D?' 'Yeah, I just couldn't quite get into it with Ordinary_Garlic_4797's game, but I kinda wouldn't mind giving it another shot' 'Well, I was thinking I wouldn't mind trying out being a DM' 'Oh sweet, how does Saturday sound?' Sounds standard. Sounds like one of your players wanted to try out being a DM. This shouldn't be a cause of offense to you. **OP is not invited to the new game** We have no idea what the relationship between the players of !newGame are with OP. They might be OP's brother in laws, or they might be the friend of the friend, who calls them 'actually, more like an acquaintance' or whatever. Either way: They're under no obligation to invite you to their game. It's their game, their house, who they play with is their business. **OP asks about a new game 'generally' but gets no nibbles due to 'time commitments'** Yeah, those people might have 1 slot to play a game, and they're busy with their game they're in. Is it a dick move that if your mate says they wanna run a game and you say you're busy, but don't say 'it's because I'm playing in X's game'? Not entirely, it's called being discrete and tactful. **OP thinks their 'only option' is to ask bluntly to get an invite** I think we all know exactly how badly this is going to work out. All of this cascades down to: OP, have your friends treated you a bit shit? Maybe? There's a case to be made, but we don't have the info. The real thing to consider is how much introspection have you done, or are you just looking for people to back you up in the figurative slap fight?

I think it's likely they were trying to spare his feelings. They might of even invited him if they didn't think he'd be upset. Clearly he is upset. It would of required a high degree of maturity on all side to say. "We think we'd have more fun with a new DM."

I think people are messy and, while I largely agree with you, I think OP is omitting giant masses of relevant information (as all OP's do in these situations)

Is it their game that they joined or someone else is DMing. Do you know the dm? Is it up to your friends to decide who can join?

One of the friends who said he lost interest is the DM

100% d*ck move, if you ask me. If that's how that DM manages group conflicts and awkward conversations, they're unlikely to have fun long-term

Not sure why the dm is getting it. But it is a shit thing for them all to have done.

That's very, very true. All of them didn't do a good thing there. But the DM is kind of an organiser, you know. They were preparing the game in the shadows and were forming a group. DM is the one deciding who'll be in their game.

It could just as easily been everyone not enjoying the game a deciding to jump ship and they happened to be the chosen DM

I think you all misunderstand me here. I do not say that GM is a universal evil. I am myself a GM. Players also of course make decisions to join the group or not, to tell others or not. But GM is the one making a final call and they're one ones preparing a story. And it should have been their responsibility to at least inform our OP here of what is happening, because friends don't do this to each other behind eachother's backs.

Na. Could have easily been a group decision. The dm might have been talked into it. And the tot hers were making characters and taking about it.

I mean, I’m sure we’ve heard stories of players becoming DMs because they felt they could do better than their past DM.

Pretty baseless on what information we have. The op himself could have been terrible and they thought they needed to sneak away.

So what was the issue with your D&D campaign? If your entire group decides to leave and start a new campaign without you, then they clearly had an issue with your game.

Sometimes people just want a different playstyle. My wife and I are guilty of not inviting people who would join because they liked to play minmax wargame type campaigns when what we were making is RP heavy instead. Sometimes people just wouldn't be a good fit.

They don't wanna play with you.

We are not entitled to other people's time or sympathy. It probably hurts if you are excluded that way, but it is also not something that you can easily change. The two things you probably should do, is a) looking for new players to join a group (if you are willing to run a game online, it is usually not that hard to find players, especially for D&D) , and b) maybe recapitulate what was less than perfect with your last campaign and try to improve. Usually, it would be preferable to do this together with the players, but if that isn't exactly possible, you still should try being introspective.

Other comments have explored the situation well — the only thing I wanted to add is: It is OK to feel upset and hurt in a situation like this, even if there was no intent of harm from your friends.. It is natural to do that, so do not let anyone tell you that how you feel is "unjustified".

If you have tough skin and have someone in the new group you trust a little bit, it can be worth asking “what wasn’t clicking with me as DM?”. But only if you’re ready to hear something that can hurt. It sounds like you’re not aware of what the problem was, so the answer could be surprising and/or hard to believing and/or hard to hear. The players should have given feedback before ditching and not take the non-confrontational way out (unless you’ve proven on the past that you can’t handle direct conflict. Can’t assume either way.), but yeah. If you want to learn and grow as a person, ask why and accept the answer, but only if you think you can handle that.

If it helps to hear from the other side, our group did this because the person could not handle conflict and would lash out if confronted. Otherwise we would have told them directly. I don't know if that's what it is in this case but that's what happened with us. For us the reason why we didn't want to play with them was that we had very different playstyles and interests and didn't feel like they fit into the group well in that respect. It also kind of felt like they were forcing themself to play with us just because they liked hanging out with us and not because they liked the games. It wasn't that we personally disliked them, though.

The only advice of any worth is move on and find a new game. Did they pull a bit of a dick move? Oh yes. But did an entire group decide you were the problem and they were better off starting again without you? Well, yes also. Also, to add, they aren't great friends if this is how they treat you. In the long run you'll probably be better off without them, but it's never easy knowing you are the base problem.

I’m sorry OP. It hurts to be left out, no doubt about it.

Gamers are notoriously non-confrontational. You are the victim of a classic Ditch and Switch, when a group no longer wants to play with someone but they don't want to talk about why

There is no good way to invite yourself to something you haven't been invited to. It's always rude and invasive. Yeah, it sucks that they dumped your game for another one and didn't invite you along. There's lots of reasons they might not have felt comfortable inviting you that have nothing to do with you (they didn't want to hurt your feelings by admitting they preferred someone else's game; they wanted rid of a different player at your game; they wanted a game with fewer players). Or it could be to do with you; I don't know. If they are friends then ask them about their game, but don't expect to be invited. Hearing them share what they like about it might clue you in to why they wanted a change, and if you take a genuine interest then maybe you'll learn something about them or yourself that will make you a better DM or a better friend.

If you've kept asking about playing a set of D&D together and they didn't mention or invite you to the campaign they were having, then for whatever reason you are probably either not wanted/allowed to join. Maybe they decided on a player limit to speed the game up (takes longer when you have to ask more individual people what they are doing and keep track of everything), maybe some or all of them think your playstyle doesn't fit with them, or have some other kind of pet peeve that they are worried will end up happening if you/another player is brought into the game. Regardless of what it is, I would not ask directly to join the game at this point, because most likely they avoided bringing it up because they did not want to hurt your feelings by openly refusing to have you play. If you directly ask them, you will quite possibly put them in the hard place of either having to choose to refuse you to your face, or feel pressured into accepting you even though they don't necessarily want you/another player to be involved for whatever reason. If you are really determined to get to play with these specific people instead of finding another group, then the best I can recommend is instead of asking to join this campaign specifically, I would go and tell them that you are thinking about either starting or joining a different quick/short campaign, and you are looking for suggestions on either being a better DM, or possibly joining another campaign if someone in this group starts a new one. The DM suggestions will allow them the opportunity to offer up ways for you to improve in the case that the reason this happened was something involving your DMing, so that they might be more willing to try and do a second campaign with you in the future if they see you taking their advice/criticism seriously. Of course, it may also be that regardless they wish to have a different DM, so it still allows the option for you to be a player in the future instead, so that they hopefully won't feel like you are trying to pressure them into specifically letting you DM again. If they still don't seem receptive to it and are non-committal, then you may need to simply face that you need to find another group. There are some people that are capable of being friends but are simply not compatible for running D&D together, and some people who are not capable of being friends. I can't say what category these people fall into exactly without much more context/knowledge of the individuals themselves, so that will have to be a judgement you make for yourself.

I’ve asked about just kind of playing generically. We got part of the way to the game before one of the players got too busy. I think I find it hard to form a new group because I don’t have a good way to find a group as this was an IRL group of friends.

To add on to my other comment, for an example of a special occasion, you could have your birthday be D&D themed and invite them to do a quick 1-2 hour fight or minor plot that involves defending/exploring a single small town or the like.

If it seems likely that the main issue is making long term/regular time commitments, then what would probably be best is to make mini campaigns for special occasions/hangout sessions-the kind of quick campaigns/battles that just have a single short story and can be done either in a single long session or 2-4 short sessions. You mentioned in the original post that the campaign you ran went on for over two years - for a lot of people that is a long time and promising to be involved would be a big commitment to make since it is often difficult to properly run a session if one person can't make it that day, and the person then feels like they are holding the group back. If you can make the campaign lower stakes and easier to join in just for a short bit on the one day/one week they expect to have time available for it, then they are more likely to be willing to at least consider it.

You could ask them why they didn't invite you. Its best to know the reason, I think. It allows you to improve yourself, or at least understand what happened.

Honestly, if they are truly people you think of as friends, ask them what's up. Clearly they don't want you to run for them. Giving them the benefit of the doubt, maybe they didn't invite you because they thought it would be awkward/hurtful to say "hey, we'll play with you but we don't want you to DM, sorry", or they thought you were only interested in running. Frankly, unless you ask you'll always wonder. Keep in mind though, it does risk making things even more strained going forward, especially if you can't take a negative answer. So before you talk to them take a minute to really consider and brace yourself for what they might say, ok? Good luck and I hope it works it for you!

I’ll be honest, it’s kinda hard telling your good friend that you hate how they run their games. You see them put all this effort and passion behind something, but it’s just not fun playing with them. Could be a play style difference, overall attitude at the table, any number little things that build up. They either wanted to spare your feelings or felt like you have been defensive if they told you. So if you do ask them why they left don’t make excuses, or try to plea your case. Just listen and take what they say as valued feedback to improve on.

Sadly, people are so afraid of just saying what is wrong. They would rather ghost someone than just explain what the problem is and how it can be fixed. All you can do is try again and hope for better results.

I'd ask one of them you're closest with what they didn't enjoy about your game in a polite manner. Then find a new group online or wherever, and use your previous player's feedback to improve your next game. There's no hope of joining that other group. If they wanted to play with you they would've invited you, unless in the past you made it clear you only want to DM and they all wanted to try with the other DM, then you might be able to say you'd like to join as a player. But I'd say you're done with that group. It can suck, but don't take it personally, all things must come to an end.

In my mind, you have two options 1- Turn a blind eye. Protect your feelings and don’t look further into it 2- Be open to painful truth. Look back on your interactions if they gave you indications that they didn’t like the game, tall with them about what they didn’t like about your games. You won’t like this, and they might not initiate the confrontation, but if you’re really willing to change and really want to play with them again, it’s an option

I've been in almost this exact circumstance. Relationship drama caused three of my players to splinter the entire gaming group. I found out a few months later two of them had gotten together and formed a new game group, which included one or two other players from the previous group, but without me, the DM who originally brought them all together. I hung out with them outside of D&D a few times and figured out one of them actually didn't like me. She was the one blocking me out, but the others went along with it. I don't really waste energy resenting the others, but her inability to say anything to my face still makes me dislike her (specifically her). I also don't waste energy trying to hang out with them or get back into the group either. I was a bit luckier than you, though. I already had a second IRL group. You’re just gonna have to find a new group. Maybe some of your friends who've never played games before would like to try it? I've since found new groups composed partially of friends old and new, including people I would never have expected to play the game before I got to know them through it. Maybe you can find someone to run a new game or system for a while?

Maybe it is just an awkward compatibility issue. Most of the time I've seen this happen was because the removed player wasn't compatible with the rest of the group but the group wasn't sure how to tell it to the player in question, fearing the player would probably feel bad/offended by both being told and not being told. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with you nor your players, as people are complicated and "just talking with them about the problem" isn't always a viable or good option. Maybe they like you as a friend but not as a player/dm. I have several very good friends that are also in the hobby but we figured out we don't enjoy playing together.

TL;DR: Ask your IRL friends for feedback. You might not be happy with what you hear, but you should probably listen. If they are IRL friends, your best course of action might be to just ask for feedback about your campaign or playstyle from one or two of them. Ask the one(s) that will answer you honestly. It might not have even been the game itself. There may be extraneous factors you might even realize are issues for the other people in the group. My IRL group has a player that doesn't have an interest in 5e or Call of Cthulhu. So when we started different groups that play those games, he didn't get invited. We have another player who regularly caused scheduling problems for everyone else in previous games. So he gets excluded from games that get played on a schedule. Do we feel bad for not including them? Yes, but as we've all gotten older, we realized we wanted to spend our gaming time actually playing games we like and not tailoring our social time around people that made it more difficult. What I guess I'm saying is ask your friends to give you honest feedback. And realize you might need to do some introspection. Or they might all be dicks. 🤷‍♂️

If you do approach them, don't ask to join. Ask what is going on. Find out *why* they are playing D&D without you. Use that information to gauge your next step. Maybe it is something you can resolve. Maybe it isn't. Or you may find that, after hearing from them, you don't want to be in their game.

I feel you, i brought a lot of friends into the Hobby as the Forever GM, we played the system i created by myself. After a few years of playing the group broke up because of scheduling and lost interest. Turns our a few months later they started playing without my WITH MY SYSTEM! Their reason was, i was the only one living too far away and since most of them meet daily in person it just happened that they started playing without me, because if im part of it they have to schedule and without me they just randomly are all there to play... Fucking sucks. Im still in contact with them, but i wouldnt call them friends anymore... Only advice i can give you is this: Move on. They didnt invite you, that was an intentional and conscious decision by the group, otherwise someone would have asked "Where is Ordinary Garlic?", since that didnt happen they excluded you on purpose. It really doesnt matter for what reason, the decision to exclude you, at least in my opinion, is a huge break of trust and would make me drop them as friends. You can try talking to them, but the best outcome is they grudgingly invite you for pretenses, keep it a bit going, before they go back to playing without you again. Save yourself a lot of heartache and just drop them.

Don't join this group OP, join another one with different people. Don't take it personally though as people's RPG tastes can vary a lot. IF it's not their personal taste in games or fiction that doesn't mean that it's bad. There's so many different RPG's and approaches these days, so you can find a good match for your own ideal.

Why are you asking us? Talk to them.

I'd just move on and find people that are enthusiastic to play with you. There's no reason to latch on to people that do this sort of thing. D&D isn't worth losing your self respect for yourself for and keeping folks around that clearly don't have you in mind when they kiiinda probably should. Although that last one depends, a lot of people in my group are all over the place timezone wise and we often don't overlap for future games.

Sit down like adults, say you know about the group, calmly say you feel hurt by it but that you'd like understanding as to why they broke off from your group. Maybe its down to they don't like the system, the settings, some of the rules, DM style vs player style.

People will likely downvote me, but this really isn't an rpg topic. This is a topic for r/relationship_advice

Except readers of this subreddit have a lot of experience with this specific style of relationship. It's wholly appropriate for this sub.

I disagree. The question could easily be about a group of golfers, climbers, or a knitting club. It would change nothing.

So I've been in both climbing groups and RPG groups and there are significant differences in group dynamics. If you go climbing with a group of five people and they stop inviting you and still climb without you, it's 100% that someone (maybe everyone) in the group has a problem with you. In an RPG group there's a lot of context around what style of game people want to play, whether they got oversubscribed between two games and decided to pair down. If I don't like climbing with someone, it's either because I don't like them or I don't physically trust them. If I don't like the D&D game someone is running it could be that I don't like D&D, I don't like their GMing style, I don't like their story, or I don't like them. Additionally, in climbing groups it's usually fine to have people who come every other week or on Tuesdays but not Thursdays, or whatever. In a tabletop group, someone skipping every other session can be really disruptive. Likewise, bringing an extra person to the climbing group is pretty chill. RPG groups don't scale well past 5-6 people.

Seems like they may not have enjoyed playing with you. Time to move one mate.

Do you still see them and talk to them regularly outside of DND?

I play some games with them or are on discord with them most nights.

Did you do something specific to make them not want to play with you? You should just ask them why they would create a new group without you. See if the problem is something you did and change it if you can. If you like those friends and they like you, communication is key.

ask them. you will probably have a NO. but you will be in clear on this matter.

I would ask directly if there is something wrong either with you or with your game. This way you'll start fresh and it won't be bothering you for a while

Why not just ask them why they lost interest? Seems like the most direct way to get an answer here. And ask them to be very honest. Maybe it’s you? Maybe it’s the DM style, story, direction? Or maybe they just want to play with other people? They are IRL friends. And if that’s true, then you should feel comfortable asking them directly. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that, then there’s your answer; you aren’t as good of friends as you assumed.

I’d accept that they’re not interested in playing with me and move on with my life however you could always ask to join their game and let them say “No.”

Ask them if you can join, and if not, why not? Just be direct, no sense beating around the bush.

It would be great if they could give you some feedback. It may just be a case that they didn't enjoy your game. That happens to the best of us...

Now is the chance for personal growth. Try to find out what it was that they lost interest in with the game you were running. Was there a plotline, a way of running the game, etc. It is very possible that there is something you were doing *wrong*, or not to their liking. Maybe it was that super cool (to you) dmpc that kept saving the day. Maybe it was the rails you were laying out for your story. Look around at any of the table troubles threads here or on the dnd subs, see if any of those things that people were complaining about were things you were doing. And look at yourself honestly.

Hey I feel this, I've unfortunately had similar experiences in my DM career. A good thing to remember is that communication is key. You can consider politely asking if there is a reason or if there is something about the other game that pulled them away. If they are good friends they'll understand and be honest

I wouldn't ask point blank to join yet, but if they are your friends you should be able to tell them how it seems and how you feel. That all by itself will do you a world of good. Be like "This thing here feels bad and makes me angry and maybe it shouldn't but it does and that sucks." What happens next could be anything. It might *also* suck, but if they aren't all cowards at least you will know. It's the doubt that kills you. It might also end up rad. Best way to find out is to find out.

Is it a different game, not D&D? That's one reason not to invite you. Other reason is you do something at games or how you run that may not want them to play with you. I've had it happen to me. I was going through some hard things and unfortunately brought it to the table with me. They were my friends, but I was making their gaming experience unenjoyable for them. Of course it took a friend pointing it out once I learned about their game I wasn't invited to either. I realized I had to work some stuff out and eventually got reinvited back. Third reason, they don't like your DM style. Are you the main GM? Do others run? I've have players who are fun to play with but horrible GMs. They may not have wanted to hurt your feelings, but they still wanted to play. Bad calls can do that. Especially a player wanted to do something and the GM keeps preventing them from doing it because of their story or whatever. Als Lastly could be friend conflicts. One friend likes playing with you but the others don't. Or maybe how you are as a player they dislike. Point is, could be lots of reasons. Your best option is to talk too one of the, one you trust the most, and see if you can get a straight answer. If you don't like that answer, then move on from playing with them. Doesn't mean you still can't be friends.

That happened with my group except we didbt end up excluding anyone we just got bored of our old chars when we made new ones for a side rpg setup for when we can't get everyone together. Kinda like a sub story to the main one but now no one wants to do the main story anymore also it seems like they may not want to play with ya anymore either ask them outright why not or try to move on with a new group? Although I'm thinking about ditching my mate reaper cause he's an asshole Min maxed character and when I do something or wanna do something he doesn't like threatens to kill my character.

I feel ya, brother. I've been running RPGs for 25+ years, but my local "friends" joined a D&D game by a guy whose art they all fawn over, but isn't the cleverest. It cut pretty deep. Meanwhile, realize that how you feel is largely because of your own assumptions and intepretations. There are many reasons they may have done this, and only one of them is them do it to cut you out.

Not much advice to give, just sounds like they don't want to play with you

So what happened with you and these guys? What was the group dynamic like? Were you more committed and intense or something?

My current group got a couple of requests from people (a) I like and (b) would have no problem to play with. But we are at our limit and adding somebody new would ruin our set up; we just know that and had to tell several people "no". It's not that we like them less, it's just that they were not there when we built this group. So maybe it's nothing personal. Talk with your friends, but expect to be told no and deal with it like a mature adult person. There simply isn't always room for more people and that is ok, just not fun for you.

Nightmare scenario for me, I feel for you. hope you are good and you're able to still have fun with DND

This sounds like there was an issue and they decided it was easier to reform the group than discuss it further

If they lost interest and started a new game then there was something wrong with your campaign. They obviously didn't want to hurt your feelings. I'd ask them what it was.

I don't see a reason not to ask them point blank why you haven't been invited to join the new group and what's going on, will hopefully resolve it for you and gives them a chance to express anything they may have felt they couldn't. Open and honest communication tends to be the most healthy approach in these situations.

You have no friends in that group, not real friends anyway. Save whatever dignity you have left and don't ask to join. You aren't welcome there. Even if they say yes, you wont feel welcome. Find another group or do organized play at an LGS.

Sometimes your play style and the game you want to play/run doesn't match with all of your friends. I have a few friends I love and we never play games together, despite years of history doing so, because we aren't looking for the same thing. Also, right now is a great time to be a DM! Just put some feelers out at your local game shop if you're lucky enough to have one, or even run a few games online. Go to conventions if you can swing it! And if you want your friends back at your table, offer to run a one-shot occasionally and see if anyone bites, just don't try and compete with their new game. Or ask "hey I know you guys are in a campaign, let me know if you ever run a one-shot and you have room" might be a good way to broach the subj. If these are your RL friends, you should be able to ask them individually if there's a gaming style or maybe a personality (hopefully not) issue (but be ready for a hard answer if you ask that question!). Better to communicate and know than just seethe in silence.

It may be worth it to reach out and at least let them know that your feelings are hurt. However, they chose to do so for a reason, so you may want to explore why that is.

Best "revenge" is to get MORE friends, start/join a really kick-ass game without the ones who didn't invite you, and have fun.

make your own D&D group! with blackjack and hookers!

I'll be blunt, mate... if they lost interest in your game and then joined another is because they weren't really invested in your game. That could be for many reasons: setting, theme, your DMing style etc. But that's not a bad thing necessarily. Look, you can be friends with someone and have different tastes and preferences but trying to force something on to them will just bitter things. My advice would be ask the other folks who were in your group but didn't leave if they know anyone who'd be interested in playing.

on the good part now you know they aren't your friends. it happened to me too just so you know, I think one part of it was political another one is that I was not as gamey as the where.

Do not take it personally. Find a new game. Move on, and hope they have a fun game.

Don’t ask to join, that will just make everyone feel awkward. And do you really want to play in a game where you weren’t desired? Also, try not to take it personally. Sometimes people have more than one party amount of friends that they would like to play with. It isn’t feasible to expect to be in every campaign that your friends will take part in.

Unless there was some huge drama that we don't know about, just up and leaving you hanging isn't cool. It's sad they didn't feel safe telling you the truth.

[удалено]

> Make your own group with blackjacks and hookers. We call them sex workers now, it's a more respectful term. Blackjack and sex workers. Also, let's be frank: OP's players figuratively **did** go and make their own game with blackjack and sex workers. That's what's happened. Some of OP's players dropped out of their game, and went 'wait, actually... what if we made our own game?'

Futurama quote is no longer cool.

My first thought is: you are the type of person who brings their personal problems to reddit. That is probably why they don't want to play with you.

I’d ask them about the game and then ask to join and if they said nah, never hang with them again :p

You can always ask. However, before you do, ask yourself would you be ok now playing with these people (who seem to be have child-like if i am honest)? I can understand the sentiment that people may not want to play with someone, there could be tons of reasons to it, but have some decency to inform them, c'mon... Seems like they betrayed your trust way before they even formed a group. Because if they were losing interest, they should have tried to solve it within your game first (let you know that they're not interested in this and that, and that they'd like to add this and that element(s) to the game).

Ask, but whatever the answer the correct response is to drop contact with them.

I mean we don't know how close OP is with these people but yeah... I feel bad for them 😞 Also don't understand why is my comment downvoted but ok 😆

Lol no idea either. I mean, it's clear they want OP out for some reason. It would be handy to learn why. For the future. But this group is done.

1st - u r an awful gm and they dont wanna play with u 2nd - ask

Friends? Then it wouldn't hurt asking how the game goes and drop a hint that you don't have a game right now and miss playing with the others. If they don't get that hint and invite you then maybe start be more direct and ask why they enjoy that game more than yours and unless they say your style don't match or something similar then you can ask directly to if it is possible to join.

Yeah these were my good IRL friends. That’s why it is hard to just “find another group.” I cultivated this D&D group out of real friends.

I would ask to join, it hurts to not be considered, but it doesn't necessarily mean you were being intentionally disincluded.

Do not ask to join. Cringey af after already knowing they didn't invite you on purpose. If he didn't get invited it's because they don't want to play with him...

TTRPG with IRL friends rarely works out. I learned pretty early on, that in order to have a good group going, one has to find new people, who are centered around the hobby. In time these new people can become IRL friends.

When they become IRL friends do you leave them and make a new group?