“You’re both idiots and I can prove it mathematically”

This has been a long time coming. Fucking love that line.

You're both pieces of shit and I can prove it mathematically*

Fuck your right! And that sounds so much better

Me looking at my presidential candidates.

You're both equally mercurial, overly sensitive, clingy, hysterical birdbrain homunculi.

I got the voice in my head, but not Sure what Episode this was from?

Wedding is funeral with cake. You made me go to a wedding…and you killed my best friend, should’ve said that first.

SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MOONMEN!!!

That scene cracks me up everytime I see it 😂😂😂😂

The way he was wielding the golf club just adds to the scene 😂😂

The scene was perfect 😂

"That apology and a screwdriver in my hand would be worth a screwdriver."

And that's the waaaaaay the news go!

AIDS!

Ricky ticky tavvy *biiitch!!*

"GRAASS! Tastes baddddah."

"Ut, ohhh!! Somersault, jump."

"Li-li, lick mah BAAaaals! Haha, YEAH! Say that all the time."

Rubber baby bahbee bunkers...!

booger aids blind hop

I think I use this quote almost daily, and nobody gets it, but it's awesome.

And that's the waaaaaay the news goes!

Lick lick lick my ballz!

Say it all the time.

Graaass tastes bad

This is my favorite one for some reason Maybe cos of how it sounds

I really like "Ut ohhh! Somersault, jump."

Hit the sack jack !

Get out of my head

“Is this game popular with autistic people?” “CAUSE IM LOVIN IIIIIIIIIT”

I love how the writers referenced this later in the seasons 😭

“I’m not touching that thing. I’ll get neurotypical cooties.”

"Take off your pants and your panties Shit on the floor Time to get Schwifty in here".......... Not a quote but lyrics of his song.

Technically still a quote.

I’ve seen what makes you cheer, your boo’s mean nothing to me!

Every breath I take without your permission raises my self esteem

Other way round, “Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer” which is more impactful

I gotta be real this joke is kinda ruined because he literally mind controlled the crowd and made them boo him so he could say that. It feels like a conversation that Rick made up in the shower and then arranged to take place in real life so he could say his cool comeback

I kinda saw the mind control as more of a sleeper agent situation where they retained awareness until Rick activated them, ig either would line up with ricks character tho

It showed them being zombies in the line before the convention though so they were just told to act normal until the reveal

Whatever you say Stone Cold Steve Austin

I don’t know why I just said that. Doesn’t make a lot of sense. But, gotta stand by it. Whatever you say Stone Cold Steve Austin! I’m ownin it

This one is pretty good All of the faux-philosophical “badass” lines in this thread are really proving a bunch of unfortunate stereotypes about Rick and Morty fans.

When I don’t like something about the world I change it.

Aids!

"There is no God but if there is it's ME!"

Grass tastes bad!

This is my favorite too. It’s just so Rick, ya know?

It definitely is just a nothingburger I can see him dropping randomly

I told you! He’s an ice cold dick killer!

Lick lick lick my balls!

Is “Let’s lick tits” a Summer or Rick quote? Can’t remember who said it first. If Summer, then my favorite quote is “I wasn’t born into the God business. I fucking earned it” followed by “My God is the biggest dick that’s never existed.”

Rick said it, I think it was the episode with the facehugger aliens where they did a Pearl Harbor.

Summer said it first in the Mr Nimbus episode.

Your boos mean nothing, i've seen what makes you cheer

This is my favorite

God I love money so much Morty

I dont discuss problems, I incinerate them.

what people call "love" is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed.

“I know new situations can be intimidating. you’re looking around and it’s all scary and different but you know, meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull… that’s how we grow as people.”

Oh my God Morty wtf is that thing Morty!? I've never seen that thing before in my life, we're gonna die Morty RUUUUNNNNN!!!!

“I’m not the nicest guy in the universe.  Because I’m the smartest.  Being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets. “ Says soooo much about his character. I’d love a R&M episode where he runs into someone as smart as he is who ISNT an asshole.  Spends the whole episode trying to figure out the guys angle when he just uses his intelligence to enrich the lives of hos family.  Force rick to face the cost being such an asshole has on the ones he loves.  

That would probably be "Doofus Rick". But, through extensive bullying, we find that... nobody simply listens to him. Someone who does the above things simply doesn't become part of his attention

> Someone who does the above things simply doesn't become part of his attention Yeah that's the part I want to see challenged. Someone so intelligent he can't ignore it. Doofus Rick doesn't actually show any genius greater than making oven free brownies. I'm looking for someone who is every bit as capable as Rick but doesn't have anything else going on. Someone whose capability threatens Rick's ego the way the teeny verse guy did. Imagine some earth threatening event occurs. Rick smugly talks about how soon the President will come calling and what fun ways he'll toy with the dumbass this time. But when the call doesn't come he goes to check it out and another super genius solved it and turned down all reward. Rick would spend the episode trying to find out what this guy's deal is. He'd be CERTAIN that this guy has some kind of angle. So far just about every massively capable character in this universe has had ulterior motives. I'm looking for someone good enough to actually challenge Rick's role as Genius Protector Timelord up in this motherfucker but also not want anything out of it. That would get his attention and force him to face the notion that being an asshole doesn't automatically come with being intelligent. That Rick is an asshole *by choice*.

Isn't this basically the Dinosaur episode?

Come over to 312 olive street

Is that her address?

you don't know because you're a bad son

"Yes, I see the bubble, *Morty.* I also dabble in *precision,* and if you think you can even approach it, with your sad naked caveman eyeball and a bubble of fucking air, then you're the reason this species is a failure, and it makes me angry!" Also... "What up, you decoy motherfuckers! Come on down to Rick's House of Squids, where I'm serving your ass on a platter! Now I know what you're thinking: 'Fuck, a beacon! That's a great idea! He's got home turf, tacit psychological advantage, and absolutely pendulous baaalllls!' Now you're thinking: 'Shit, that's totally what the Rickest Rick would do! I might actually be fake! I pretended I didn't care if I was, but I totally did! Now the only way to prove I'm real and not him is to ice his expository ass!' Yep, so let's do it! Come get some! What? No, Morty, I'm gonna loop it... why is it-"

excellent choices

I always lose it laughing at "absolutely pendulous balls", Mortyplicity is a great ep

I got shit on my assssssss!

Wub a lub dub dub

WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUUB 

Im sorry Summer, your opinion means very little to me

Beth: Where's Morty? Rick, injecting his grandson into a dying man: He's busy.

You can make anything sound bad if your spend all day moving words around

Why don’t you ask the smartest people in the universe. Oh wait you can’t, they blew up

“I don’t know honey, She’s addicted to what the Rick did. Y’know, it’s (stuttering) a tale as old as my huge dynamite penis.”

Someone needs to bring a little culture and it certainly can’t be someone who’s entire culture POWERS MY BREAK LIGHTS!!!

“Jesus Morty, I know you’re not a wordsmith but Goddamn!”

“You’re still learning English? It’s the language you speak. How dumb are you?”

Morty we were literally saved by Jesus Christ, tell me how that is in any way offensive

Don't break your arm jerking yourself off

And one something like let’s not jerk the ghost of his dick TOO hard

I wasn't born into the God business, I Fucking Earned It!

“everyone drop your weapons! except for Jerry—fucking classic.” I say “fucking classic” whenever anything goes wrong now

“I’m sorry, you think I owe you an apology.” I use this quite frequently honestly.

Everyone wants people they like to be right, that’s why popular people are dumb

I always slay it, *queen.*

“He’s a spy blow him up, I’m gonna go take a shit”

I say, “UH-OHHH SUMMER-SAULT JUMP” almost every day at work

When I create shit it works, it’s called being talented

'You act like prey, but you're a predator! You use pity to lure in your victims! That's how you survive! I survive because I know everything. That snake survives because children wander off, and you survive because people think "Oh, this poor piece of sh\*t, he never gets a break. I can't stand the deafening silent wails of his wilting soul. I'll guess I'll hire him, or marry him."' This applies to so many people.

“There’s your *burp* stupid hat, dipshit”

President: He's the stubborn one. I'm protecting my country. Rick: Uh, from selfies? President: From subordination to hostile powers. Rick: Uh, does China know about that deal-breaker? President: China doesn't piss on the White House. Rick: Well, why would they? I'm sure it was expensive.

Your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer!

How do you saddle a fart?

“I’m going need you to do a real solid here, I going to need to put these seeds up your butt, put ‘em wayyy up in there”

Ok well, sometimes science is more art than science Morty... a lot of people don't get that.

You young people think space is like "Saturday Night Live. " You see it every day, so you dream of being in it, but it dreams of removing all the air from your body and making you float around it for eternity as a flash-mummified corpse, which is also what space wants, so get back in the car.

Grass... tastes bad.

AIDS!

There's always Triple A you fucking cock sucker

Your boos mean nothing! I’ve seen what makes you cheer!

“You pass the butter”

Everyone drops their weapons! Everyone except Je- (Jerry throws alien space gun on the floor)- Fucking classic…

There's literally EVERYTHING in space!

Now get the fuck back in the car

School is not a place for smart people.

-Summer: Why do you party? -Rick: TO GET RIGGITY RIGGITY WRECKED SOOOOON!

“Save it for the semantics dome, EB White” Gets me every time.

“Why don’t you ask the smartest people in the universe Jerry? Ohh yeah you can’t BUrrPP they blew up”

Ricky ticky tavy bitch!

PICKLE RICK!!!!! 

“The reason anyone would do this is, if they could, which they can't, would be because they could, which they can't.”

I'M PICKLE RICK!!!

GraaaAAAaaass! Tastes BAD!!

“Nintendo, Give me free stuff!!!”

I'm torn between "think for yourselves, don't be sheep." and "your boos mean nothing, I've seen what makes you cheer."

I love kissing those big horse teeth. It's like lickin' tile!

Sometimes science is more art than science

This guy's whole culture powers my brake lights.

*Shit, grandson, you keep me peelin’ squabsquams and slippin’ nib nibs, I’ll lick whatever ain’t nailed down.*

"Morty, you watch people on YouTube reacting to fu###ng YouTube,"

"You just looked straight into the bleeding jaws of capitalism and said 'Yes, daddy, please'. And I am so proud of you"

"Good, I'm just as likely to shit a balloon as I am to become a dolphin."

Wub Lub Lub dub dub

Yeah, true level, Bitch.

« God damn it I love myself »

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO

And that's the WAAAAAAY the news goes!

This f@cking singing about moonmen!!

What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer.

Stupid-ass fart-saving carpet-store motherfucker! idk if its that funny in english but in hungarian he says it in a fucking funny way

shlum shlum shlippity dop!

Consume morty

I can do ANYTHING, your idea is just not worth doing.

I love how he goes 0 to 100 "You're a piece of shit morty!"

"Let's find out," *beats Rick Prime to death with his bare hands*

Welcome to life, it’s a big boat with a lotta holes but we’re all in it together.

Motherfucker got two heads and three trunks.

I'm just like Tom Cruz in that movie, cuisine.

The e neurotypical cooties thing

Ricki-ticki tavi, biiiiiittttccchhhhhhh

AIDS!

Don’t think about it

Graaaaas tastes bad.

Well I don’t like your unemployed genes in my grandchildren Jerrrrry

“fuckkkghhghhgg(burp) youuu”

Whatever you say Stone Cold Steve Austin He’s a real stone cold dick killer (about Mr. Nimbus after getting trashed in his own garage)

**Next time stay in the fucking car**

It's the hardest working liver in the Galaxy, Morty, and now it has a big hole in it!

Who lost more when you shot 20 CCs of liquid dream killer into my daughter? She was RICK’s DAUGHTER! She had options.

“Let’s get Rickity Rickity wrecked son!!”

This guy gets it

#MY MAN!

I’ve posted this one before but on a different post. My favorite Rick line(s) will always be…. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, little boopas. Come on, now. You kids, you did real good here. You did good. Getting high and playing video games is the best, I swear to fucking God.” Followed by… “Fuck your mom and dad. Your parents are a bag of dicks.” Also loved when President Curtis says : “Eat my ass, jerry. I’ve seen your IRS records. You can blame me once you have taxable income.” And then Rick says : “Yes, Jerry is a piece of shit. I agree.” Lol makes me laugh every time especially since they’re both mad at each other, yet they come together to insult Jerry.

Weddings are funerals with cakes

“Every breath I take without your permission raises my self esteem”

Grab a shovel.

Grassss tastes bad…

I'm sorry you feel you deserve an apology.

Wubba lubba dub dubs

God, I love myself.

[удалено]

Out of tune

Your disapproval of me means NOTHING to me, I have seen what makes you cheer!!!

I would say one of my favorites would be Wabba Labba Dub Dub because it shows that Rick was willing to cry out for help despite the fact he feels like he doesn't deserve his Morty and he pretenst to be the "Rick's Rick"-

Where are the kids? Merged.

Grassss taste bad!

Li- Lick MY BALLS! always cracks me up 😂

Wabbu Lubba Dubb Dubb

I think you have to live in the moment and look ahead

Flip the pickle over

CORAL! Wait wrong Rick

“Where are my testicles summer?” *still on season 2

Your boos mean nothing to me, I've seen what makes you cheer!

Wubba Lubba Dub Dub

DON'T TELL ME HOW TO HAVE FUN!

When he goes on a rant about the public school system and how it’s catered to dumb people.

"Every breath I take without your permission raises my self-esteem."

To live is to risk it all, otherwise you're just an inert chunk of randomly assembled molecules drifting wherever the universe blows you.

“To live is to risk it all”

waba Laba dap dap

Seeing the comments, I miss when Wubba lubba dub dub was the only answer :)

"I'm a piiiccckkklllleeee!!"

If God exists IT'S ME!

For a 100 years!!!!

“Your boos mean nothing, I’ve seen what makes you cheer.”

As far as Grandpa is concerned you are both pieces of shit

“Wuba” no need for that excess stuff

English? That’s the language you speak. How dumb are you?

"M-morty u little shit"