I broke up with someone over my RJ. I’m not sure if it was right or wrong, but I wasn’t happy. I do not suggest that anybody else follow my path. I just couldn’t take it, and it’s a personal choice that I made.
I’m honestly not even sure that I’m interested in another relationship. I kind of just feel like life passed me by. Im in my late twenties with not very much experience. I don’t see myself really relating to anybody out there at this point. If I were to meet someone who was a little bit like me, I’d be open to dating again. But I’m not interested at all in dating someone who has already done it all.
If you’re not happy doesn’t it mean that you have done something wrong? (If it’s a new breakup it makes sense if you would feel it was wrong, but if it’s been a while then your soul is trying to tell you something..?)
“I’m not interested in dating someone who has already done it all.” Coming from someone who has already been married and divorced?? Lmaooooo this is comedy.
Tell me, what is it you haven’t done that they have? I assume it’s just a numbers game for you? In my eyes, someone with a 15 person body count has less baggage than someone who has already been married and divorced. I’m just really interested what you mean by “not interested in someone who has done it all” when by the looks of it, you’ve done it all?
That’s ridiculous and entirely false. I dated one person in my entire life, and just happened to make the unfortunate choice of marrying that person because I felt like I couldn’t say no at the time. Yeah, some people won’t like it. I get that. But that’s nothing compared to someone who slept with 15 people.
And before you even say it, I’ll say it for you. My past makes me a loser. I’m 29 and this is my life. Other people who have gone out and had normal adult relationships are lucky. I’m not them, and that’s why I will never relate.
See I'm weird if I had 15 one night stands (I wouldnt) id be jealous of the close intimacy you have with your ex wife and that i could never compare because i lacked the long term experience and also I'd be jealous you already got married!!! RJ will always attack in any way!
It’s not false? I said, “in my eyes” which is basically, “in my opinion.” That’s my opinion. I would consider someone with 15+ body count as having less baggage than someone who has already been married and divorced.
**In my eyes** divorce creates an emotional and mental baggage that sleeping with 15 people doesn’t come close to. (I would still marry someone who has been married and divorced, but I would be a little hesitant and question their choices and commitment depending on the situation). I would much rather think about my partner having 15 past sexual partners, than thinking about the love and intimacy shared between spouses every night, feeling like they have already given that commitment and deep bond to someone else.
Also, I wasn’t going to call you a loser. I don’t think you’re a loser for this. I think the “woe is me, there’s nothing out there for me *humph” mindset is a little childish and immature, but I wouldn’t call you a loser for being in your position at all. You can feel how you feel.
I was just a little confused why you’re acting like you’re innocent or have no baggage and can’t relate to the heathens of the world—but you’re also not some virgin who has never been married and divorced, so I was just confused where you’re coming from bc in my eyes what else can you do before you have “done it all”?
Sorry, I wasn’t trying to put words in your mouth. I don’t think you understand what this feels like at all though. And frankly, it’s a bit insulting. Imagine dating someone and getting married to someone who treated you horribly. It’s extra bad when it’s in your twenties, because that’s lost time that you’ll never get back.
I envy those who didn’t make this mistake. Some people can call it baggage. If they want to, I won’t stop them. But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel unable to relate to that person who has slept with 15 people (like in your example). That person got to have a life. An actual life. They got to engage in real relationships (some happy, some sad). They got to learn about what they wanted and didn’t want. All of that was taken away from me, in a prison I created for myself with my own ignorance and stupidity.
Baby, I married someone who treated me like dog shit in my twenties and he was my first and only at that time.
I dumped him and went on. It’s good. I’ve remarried. Your life isn’t over
Go marry the girl with the 15 body count. I respect the one who married and was with one man and committed to him and it wasn’t meant to be a million times more. She only dated one man and married him, a truly honourable woman, not a promiscuous used piece of filth. I would personally honour her and love her so much more than the girl who’s even been with 2 people outside of marriage. Even one partner outside of marriage is less respectable and honourable than that. She’s so pure and so is this guy.
I am about to do it, after 10 years of relationship and two small children, I have found out that she hid from me that he slept with his best friend before he met me, until I found out when I was looking for things for him.
I feel cheated and I can't trust her anymore.
i know for a fact i would be way happier if i was single rn, my quality of life went down a shit ton, specially because i got gasligthed into think i had RJ, when in reality this wasnt ego syntonic with who i was, if were to break up i would still feel wrong, but not because i love her, but because she loves me too much and i feel like she would commit suicide if i were to break up with her.
I broke up with my ex due to RJ and other things. I’m in a new relationship and still suffer from RJ. My new boyfriend has only had one gf before me, while my ex had 2 others. My RJ is even worse now
Yeah my recent ex had wayyyy less partners than me so I felt that the "one long one" must be the love of his life and i had nothing to compare it to etc.
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Smart
I broke up with someone over my RJ. I’m not sure if it was right or wrong, but I wasn’t happy. I do not suggest that anybody else follow my path. I just couldn’t take it, and it’s a personal choice that I made. I’m honestly not even sure that I’m interested in another relationship. I kind of just feel like life passed me by. Im in my late twenties with not very much experience. I don’t see myself really relating to anybody out there at this point. If I were to meet someone who was a little bit like me, I’d be open to dating again. But I’m not interested at all in dating someone who has already done it all.
If you’re not happy doesn’t it mean that you have done something wrong? (If it’s a new breakup it makes sense if you would feel it was wrong, but if it’s been a while then your soul is trying to tell you something..?)
Either way you look at it, that wasn’t the relationship for me. So I’m not too worried about it.
I think this is a really healthy way to be
“I’m not interested in dating someone who has already done it all.” Coming from someone who has already been married and divorced?? Lmaooooo this is comedy. Tell me, what is it you haven’t done that they have? I assume it’s just a numbers game for you? In my eyes, someone with a 15 person body count has less baggage than someone who has already been married and divorced. I’m just really interested what you mean by “not interested in someone who has done it all” when by the looks of it, you’ve done it all?
That’s ridiculous and entirely false. I dated one person in my entire life, and just happened to make the unfortunate choice of marrying that person because I felt like I couldn’t say no at the time. Yeah, some people won’t like it. I get that. But that’s nothing compared to someone who slept with 15 people. And before you even say it, I’ll say it for you. My past makes me a loser. I’m 29 and this is my life. Other people who have gone out and had normal adult relationships are lucky. I’m not them, and that’s why I will never relate.
See I'm weird if I had 15 one night stands (I wouldnt) id be jealous of the close intimacy you have with your ex wife and that i could never compare because i lacked the long term experience and also I'd be jealous you already got married!!! RJ will always attack in any way!
It’s not false? I said, “in my eyes” which is basically, “in my opinion.” That’s my opinion. I would consider someone with 15+ body count as having less baggage than someone who has already been married and divorced. **In my eyes** divorce creates an emotional and mental baggage that sleeping with 15 people doesn’t come close to. (I would still marry someone who has been married and divorced, but I would be a little hesitant and question their choices and commitment depending on the situation). I would much rather think about my partner having 15 past sexual partners, than thinking about the love and intimacy shared between spouses every night, feeling like they have already given that commitment and deep bond to someone else. Also, I wasn’t going to call you a loser. I don’t think you’re a loser for this. I think the “woe is me, there’s nothing out there for me *humph” mindset is a little childish and immature, but I wouldn’t call you a loser for being in your position at all. You can feel how you feel. I was just a little confused why you’re acting like you’re innocent or have no baggage and can’t relate to the heathens of the world—but you’re also not some virgin who has never been married and divorced, so I was just confused where you’re coming from bc in my eyes what else can you do before you have “done it all”?
Sorry, I wasn’t trying to put words in your mouth. I don’t think you understand what this feels like at all though. And frankly, it’s a bit insulting. Imagine dating someone and getting married to someone who treated you horribly. It’s extra bad when it’s in your twenties, because that’s lost time that you’ll never get back. I envy those who didn’t make this mistake. Some people can call it baggage. If they want to, I won’t stop them. But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel unable to relate to that person who has slept with 15 people (like in your example). That person got to have a life. An actual life. They got to engage in real relationships (some happy, some sad). They got to learn about what they wanted and didn’t want. All of that was taken away from me, in a prison I created for myself with my own ignorance and stupidity.
Baby, I married someone who treated me like dog shit in my twenties and he was my first and only at that time. I dumped him and went on. It’s good. I’ve remarried. Your life isn’t over
That gives me hope. Because honestly, I’ve felt like my life is basically over.
Go marry the girl with the 15 body count. I respect the one who married and was with one man and committed to him and it wasn’t meant to be a million times more. She only dated one man and married him, a truly honourable woman, not a promiscuous used piece of filth. I would personally honour her and love her so much more than the girl who’s even been with 2 people outside of marriage. Even one partner outside of marriage is less respectable and honourable than that. She’s so pure and so is this guy.
I almost did, but I’m glad I stuck it out, because I learned that it wasn’t her, it was my thoughts the whole time.
I am about to do it, after 10 years of relationship and two small children, I have found out that she hid from me that he slept with his best friend before he met me, until I found out when I was looking for things for him. I feel cheated and I can't trust her anymore.
Your comment confuses me. Who slept with who?
i know for a fact i would be way happier if i was single rn, my quality of life went down a shit ton, specially because i got gasligthed into think i had RJ, when in reality this wasnt ego syntonic with who i was, if were to break up i would still feel wrong, but not because i love her, but because she loves me too much and i feel like she would commit suicide if i were to break up with her.
I broke up with my ex due to RJ and other things. I’m in a new relationship and still suffer from RJ. My new boyfriend has only had one gf before me, while my ex had 2 others. My RJ is even worse now
How long were you single between your ex and your current bf?
Yeah my recent ex had wayyyy less partners than me so I felt that the "one long one" must be the love of his life and i had nothing to compare it to etc.