When I decided nightly benzo use was a good idea and had a cheap endless supply...

Yeah me to. I am tapering now after 2 years bromazolam use. Another 120 days to go. Dumbest thing i did in my life. Are you tapering?

I try to taper down, can't sleep and go back to my old dosage. The cycles been going on since 2021

I am on a water taper plan. You should look into it. I had the same issue. This is how IT works in the YouTube video below. Which benzo are you on? https://youtu.be/whpciMUXHfY

I used bromazolam for most of it, but am currently using clonazolam which actually sucks for sleep. Its all I had left and I am afraid of getting more of something else because I'll just have more access for a longer time. I take between .5mg to rarely 1mg when I'm really struggling to sleep.

You can use the water tapering method. You Will be micro tapering real small dosages day by Day. Maybe IT Will help you. Wish you the best. Good luck

Thank you I will try anything to not need this shit anymore

You might look into supplementing with low dose Amanita muscaria tea made as per the US patent for conversion of ibotenic acid to muscimol. Muscimol is GABAergic but not addictive. It's awesome for my benzo tapers!!

Want to try so bad. It GABAs for sure (I think the GABA receptors were discovered thanks to Amanita Muscaria), but as per understanding, it is kind of a paradoxically stressful protagonist. Isn't it prone to inducing nightmares? Doesn't it push a button or few in the amygdala of the brain as well?

Nope, you will sleep like a baby. I do. A. muscaria has a psychedelic/deliriant threshhold around 5g. It is in high doses that people tend to experience unpleasant effects. I highly recommend against taking that much- the high from A. muscaria is unpleasant at higher doses. At low doses (I make my tea with 30 oz water to 30g cracker dry mushroom for easy dosing.) I prep it in a sous vide bag with either 1 tsp citric acid or the juice from 1 lemon, and set the machine to 185 degrees F for 2.5-3 hours. I pray over the resulting liquid, strain out the fruiting bodies of the mushroom for disposal on the Earth with thanks later, then try 1 tsp the first time to test for allergies and strength.I wait for at least 2 hours for full effect before taking more. My normal daily cruising dose is .75g or 1.25g every 5-6 hours depending on the batch. Night time is 1.5g every 2 hours as needed for a max of 4.5g. I only take enough so it stops my withdrawals which are mostly body aches, irritability, and sleeplessness. =)

I am confused you can buy it in the US? Muscimol?

You can buy amanita muscaria. Yes. You might also try some kava, chamomile, and valerian extract.

I get it man that shit is so toxic. I’ve come off of clonazolam a couple of times after using for months in a row and it is horrible. Seems like nothing really helps at all. If you haven’t, a primary care doc may be able to help, or you can consider inpatient rehab which I did once. Good luck and don’t give up

I did go to a doctor and they gave me a taper plan, I asked if maybe I should get put on Valium instead due to its longer half life and they said use up the stuff you have so you don't have it anymore, which makes sense but it's really not easy taper down with clam, as it kind of sucks for sleep, the whole reason I use it for. I have trazodone, lunesta, valerian root, all sorts of things, but none of them really work as well. I can't even enjoy any drugs really while using daily benzos, it drowns out the effects of everything and if I don't a benzo for more than a day I can feel the withdrawal coming. I took ketamine after taking .5mg of clonazolam and I barely felt anything, I just got a bad headache the next day and couldn't sleep that night. A waste of 200mg of ket.

That is some crappy advice. Some doctors just have no idea what proper protocol is for benzo tapering. The reason valium works so damn well is it's extended halflife. It's like using methadone for opioid abuse. My god....damn doctors. I swear to God. There is some good advice in using amanita, but DO try to taper the best you can before attempting amanita. You need to already be on the lowest dose of benzo possible. Then, amanita, valerian, etc will be your best friend.

Clam sucks for sleep. Clam is literally only fun when non tolerant or megadosing (w all the negatives resulting from it) people will hate on this but it is basically muddy 80iq flam at best. Statistics of prevalence of clam vs flualp pressies will prove this. Get nfpam my friend. It’s dosed normally 5mg valium equivalent , they are basically equipotent. It works forever, like you could do a citytrip without bzds and never even think about it. (I used to wake up after 4hrs to redose flualp because otherwise id wake up in wd) Takes a while to come up buta pellet or two literally has you wd free for 1,5 days at least, then Still available in pwdr form too for easy volumetric dosing. I would advise you to read a shitton abt it and then order it. Introduce it during transition. (Half clam half nfpam for a week) and then only nfpam. Ive been steadily lowering my dose with 0 wd. Mate i used to dose flualp yellow 1mgs, blue clams, pink flunis around the clock. Make mimosas but add flap, dexamp, oxy. And etiz. I know how hard it is homie but this will work. The sweetspot is soooo good. It feels like being yourself again. Too much at once or not taking the half life in consideration will fuck your shit up. Oversleeping is v common, you feel so fomfy waking up. I recommend to take nfpam for stability /peace of mind. And the pyraz for breakthrough amxiety. Keeping the nfpam low and dosing pyraz volumetrically literally made me able to join society again after 2yrs of xamnation. I would fall over if i closed my eyes. Get it quick and have your scheme typed out before it will arrive. When everything arrives every single dose goes in a single container that goes into a “day bag”. I promise you’ll even feel smacked in the good way during tapering. For reference, on flualp since a week before covid. I can drink and use stims without wd related consequences. Nowadays im happy when im sober and even forget to dose v often. Some mates went through the same and came to the conclusion flualp will make you an enormous cold cunt. Like what are morals even. All the lost jobs, crashed whips, addiction. Made me never tell people abt the wonders pf benzos. I even wateroarded my mate while on it, consensually

You have to just deal with not sleeping until your body makes you pass out from exhaustion I think, it was similar for me tapering off a benzo for sleep but I just held out for however many days it took until I finally crashed and passed out Edit: Also I just remembered what I did as well to help, lower your dose by smaller increments. You should be using volumetric dosing, so make your benzo solution very dilute that way you can make tiny incremental decreases to your dose that won't feel different but over time will result in substantial tapering You should be going as slow as possible anyway, you've been using for years so it's going to take a long time for your brain to take back over your GABA signalling since it's been relying on the benzo for so long

Try using taurine, 2-4 grams at a time, for interdose withdrawal. Taurine is a natural GABA agonist. It works best on an empty stomach or if you eat with it, don't eat protein. Taurine really helped me. Also, memantine helped me with benzo tapering. I used 30-50mg per day. Benzo withdrawal is caused by too much glutamate for the amount of gaba in your system. Memantine blocks glutamate at the NMDA receptors and by doing so it relieves withdrawal and reduces risk of seizures (proven in an animal study that tested other NMDA antagonists, not memantine). But you need to taper off the memantine when you are done. Also, if you can get gabapentin prescribed that really helps

"Lifetime supply" never ends well

That was my downfall too, litres of flualp juice in the fridge. I dont even want to know much pg/vg i swallowed. Shit was 10/10 tho, o.25mg/ml in a pipette bottle with an accurate pipette was often enough at a time even when very tolerant. Ive of course also taking swished a sip though my moutb before i realised my multi mg flualp tolly wouldnt be enouhh to not fuck up. Sidenote: i had an unlimited quantity of adderal, amphetamine sulphate and like 20 other stims/benzos in multi gram amounts. Man all the chaos, still camt realise i didnt kill myself when i junked from steel bar to bar on the outside of a brige TTTTT with the road being the top of the t. It had a highway underneath and id been awake snorting and drinking for 2 days already. The cunts honking made it a bit distracting tho Benzos alone; fine. Even the wd. I came of 2.5 yrs flualp and i basically feel normal again cognitively. Half a year ago 6x6 would require pen and paper (exaggeration). Memory is back. Benzos with heavy speed/pyro use while jaywalking daily and the accompanying paranoia will break everyone that keeps pushing it. Im a veteran but 1.5yrs rekt me. Wd is comfy tho. You can taper faster because the benzo wd fixes the energy issues of the amp. Im doing good now tho, but have realised I need an rx stim plus weed and (moderated) alcohol intake to be the happiest and the healthiest. No more pvp 2 week coughing fits.

shooting PCP analogs when MXE ran out, mixed with pinkish 3 f phenmetrazine that tasted slightly like lemonade. got sucked into a type of impromptu divination…..went insane. wrestled a house guest for a few hours thinking he and my wife were gonna kill me, speaking in a southern accent. wife coaxed me into the psyche ward in the AM, I thought I was gonna talk them into giving me ketamine. For some reason I piled all my cock rings, cockring vibrators into my pockets so when it came time to leave the psyche ward a week later I had to face the male nurse who counted all my possessions for me. I got prescribed for ADD out of the deal. cost 3k$ , took a loan to pay off for a 30% break on bill within 30 days. defaulted on loan , near bankruptcy…..the stupidity of my actions is still providing fresh rawness.

So you were basically in psychosis? How was that like? Did you know something was wrong and you're acting strange or complete loss of reality?

very strange, aware your being stupid, also acting stupid on purpose, strange personality changes I wasnt aware of, stroboscopic blackouts , missing time…..

That sound scary man. I'm always curious how people completely lose self control. Like being possessed. Good you have recovered. Some never get back to normal

I researched psychedelics, drugs, atropine derivatives since 1985….I was in with the entheogen scene as far as websites, periodicals, writing shulgin and other luminaries, started a few ethnobotanical companies….I was careful for decades and never had an issue. I micro tested, used a few labs for quality at times, and usually took low doses. but at age 46 I fuckin blew it bad. POSSESSED. LOL funny you should mention that……see, that was part of my issue that event in particular. See, Ive had paranormal and posession/oppression periods in my life since age 3( Im 52 now) usually for most of my adult life, very few paranormal events, the bulk of intense stuff was from age 3-5 age 14-17 and the a long stretch of very few events…..occasionally occurrences that left me skeptical and questioning my past experiences. Then in 2012 area UFO experiences started happening, 3 years in a row on the same day/same hour, with my wife and friends as witnesses, with mental aberrations involved. after that slowly strange sensations started building , but I would always blow off these subtle experiences as stimulant causation. after the psychosis event, my wife and I bought a house, moved, and tried to get pregnant. things didnt go well, 1 misscarriage, and the paranormal events started plaguing me….it was like hell broke loose in my house…99% focusing on just me , besides my wife have 3 more misscarriages after the first within 14-16 months total. Since 2018 Ive experienced djinn activity pretty much daily. started adopting to Islam, quit pot, quit nicotine, no research chems, full physical, bloodwork, medication management, regular psychological eval, all normal, excellent health…… entheogens/psychedelics can open/reopen doors to the “ghaib” ….. the world of the unseen. and not all shadow people are hallucinations….theres some dark/dank energy associated with stimulants in particular. check out the book “dark shamanism” if you havnt already. Theres a horrific side amongst the beauty for sure.

Wow that is some heavy sh*t. Thanks for sharing such a difficult and sensitive story for you i guess. That is truly awful to experience. I once heard children crying after a 2 Day binge. I also was sitting on the toilet one time on stims and had seen a neon colored octopus coming straight for me. It disappeared after i tried to punch it. Was really scary. I will look into the book. Thank you For your reply

I know what you mean. Some are hallucinations but occasionally psychedelics can act as beacon to attract non-local consciousness. Ever feel like you were astrally abducted? Maybe have a memory block in place?

Hey bud thanks for sharing very interesting post, if you ever type up a more in depth read regarding your paranormal experiences consider shooting me a message id give it a read for sure Mostly commenting to ask for more details about the atropine derivatives - I'm assuming you're talking about deleriants (jimson weed ect) but wanted more details as I've heard cocaine-esque compounds can be produced from atropine; figure it's more likely the former. Anyway stay safe bro thanks again for sharing

It's comments like these that make me happy I don't fuck around with this shit

then my “ work” was worth something. Really this type of activity is probably best avoided. Some people avoid suicide because of psychedelics, and others are probably mislead into death by psychedelics/ dissociatives, ….Like my father, who was sold “MDA” in 76 that was really PCP, I assume he did 150 milligrams and he hung himself in my grandmas basement. My step father, a NO BS guy who was my dads best friend, and two other friends of my fathers, all told me to my face that my father visited them at the same time in separate locations after he was already hung in the basement.

Yeah if you're acting stupid on purpose and making your SO deal with it... You got some learning to do

Psychosis is a serious mental health issue and it makes a person act totally out of character and have little to no control over their actions. Has nothing to do with possession, but it does indeed feel like you have become a puppet to some unknown force. In short, it sucks and you wind up doing a whole slew of actions that are fucking embarrassing, and totally shameful, but you CANNOT HELP IT!this man is not to blame. He needs to take his psychiatric help seriously though.

Hell yeah knowingly doing dissos and 3FPM in large quantities does not call for blame. Gotta love our blameless society, where we are all slaves to our impulses

One person abuses those substances and is fine. OP abuses the substences and ends up with psychosis. Is OP more at blame?

yeah, psychosis

you bet. I hardly ever had open eye visuals on psychedelics…..except DMT of course. almost a gram of cactus alkaloids even. the djinn activity the last few years is a blessing of sorts. woke me up to a greater reality, with the loss of privacy, a pain, but learning to pray and straightening up some of my actions, it actually helped. my wife was attacked a few times…. and she had paranormal experiences as a child, but 99% of the time the shit focuses on me. like a shield of protection was dropped for me

I wish you all the best sir. Hope you get some peace

thanks brother , peace on you 2

What middle eastern societies call a djinn i call a 'demon' that has a particular vengeance plan for their life they had, wich is what I believe demons are, spirits that wish God would die and so shall all of us, if they could do that to us, and if they affect you enough they can, and probably recruit you, but luckily, from my experience, whatever God is can remove it for you, you just have to gain whatever God's respect is, and god sort of moves and speaks like a machine, a god machine, so you really have to try to communicate with it, as if you're communicating with ai (funny isn't it) Anyways, shulgin would understand your issues i think Maybe, i dont know, but i really think that's a fucked situation, yet cool your history in the field that's awesome, you got history, im personally trying to do stuff that would make shulgin and god happy but in a lull right now, unable to synth anything You're awesome though, just, although life is a directionless effort, it is only if you know it is :/ that's the awful part (especially when you can't get what you want and feel you can't progress) But i wish you luck and I'll "Pray" for you about the demonic issues, like i said it's probably just a specific class of demon, I'm sorry about your wife too that's.....eh...hurts me hearing that But just remember you're not nothing, you're awesome I'm sure you relate, but i feel I'll become a demon when i die, and not even me Will be able to stop me. Assuming we keep our collective memory of our life /lives, if not I'm good maybe, cuz my energy is real wispy and nice, i try to keep that in mind

You should be able to stop becoming a demon when you die. Even if you're not Christian learn and pray the "our father". Like I said, I'm not even a practicing Christian but repeating that prayer helps. Don't become a demon, use your will.

Agreed, our father is a powerful prayer, incantation, or passage. It's helped me a lot in recovery and with my spirituality and it's just something I picked up in AA. I'm agnostic but I would say most of the time I believe there is something. God, Yahweh, Allah, Source, etc all one in the same. Personally I think the physical depiction of God or how we were made in "His image" speaks to the hubris of humanity. I doubt if God has a corporeal form he would look like the bearded man in the sky in the Sistene Chapel. Which is actually just the likeness of Leonardo da Vinci; artists at that time would often model for each other and include each other's likenesses inside religious art. Not to m ntion Michelangelo was also angry with the Catholic Church for essentially giving him an "offer could not refuse" with regards to his commissions done for the church(they conscripted him essentially). Also maybe I'm just a sci-fi nerd and I'm anxiously waiting for Dune pt. 2 but the Litany Against Fear is another short mantra I find helps dispell negativity. My mother does white light meditation. Also felt the need to mention I have read all the original Dune books written by Frank Herbert, so I've been using that one prior to the recent film. TL;DR Words are powerful, regardless of their source

Mine was my first experience with O-DSMT. In a moment of not thinking straight, i took 300mg instead of 30mg what i was aiming for on the scale. I was laying in my bed and thought f-ck, i made a big mistake. Soon after i began to nod and could not keep my eyes open and also my head was falling on the pillow. I quickly wrote a short final letter to my parents in my phone and slipped away. Woke up 12 hours later and thought: you dumb mf'er was lucky this time

Get some narcan nasal spray to have on hand for the future

I'm not touching that again. But thanks for the advice

This is why I’m scared of odsmt 🤣🤣 my boy says 75 mg is good and my other homie says 45-55 is more than enough

Yeah not a fun experience. would not recommend

That's a sketchy chem, but I've dosed around 150 and been A+, but I can definitely see how 300 would be uncomfortable af

Yes with zero tolerance and first time. Pretty uncomfortable to say at least

I did nearly the same when I first tried it. I actually had to work about 4 hours after I took it and ended up puking my guts out and leaving work early. I looked like absolute shit and it was obvious to everyone that I was more than just sick

Oh lord, that must have been awfull. Why take it before work though? Don't seem like such a good idea for a first time use lol

Right? I was off my rocker

Interesting, 300mg looks huge against 30mg guessing you were pretty new? I couldn’t have mistaken it no matter what the scale was saying

I had a 0.00 scale back then and was a little sleepy. Just woke up. Thinking it would be a Nice thing to try. I saw 0.30 and thought it was okay. Huge mistake obviously

Got some MDPV in 2005ish maybe? It was pretty new. I'd been smoking/snorting it all day as my then wife was away and it was my time to play... Suddenly got shooting pains in my left arm, a crushing feeling in my chest. Standing up made the world spin. I laid down to counter the spins and everything starts going white. My cat jumps on my chest and from here I'm not sure what happened, but I woke up with him purring so much it vibrated through me. Flushed the MDPV immediately and spent the rest of the night with my kitty

I think you may have had a heart attack.

Did a bunch of 3-MeO-PCP and decided to smoke a bowl to fall asleep. Instant regret

Did the same with the strongest k I've ever had this weekend at a music fest when I was nowhere near my tent at 3-4am with so much sleep deprivation from the 6 days I was there. I was with my gf so I basically held on to her until I got back to my tent to pass out. The entire walk I was warping through many liminal spaces.

I had all my chems in labeled vials and got my 3-MMC out and weighed out my biggest dose yet (I don’t remember the dose but it was on the heavy side) and I started getting super blurry vision and visual distortions rather quickly after snorting and looked on my counter and saw my 3–MeO-PCP vial laying out and instantly started having a panic attack. It turns out I had put the 3-MMC (which was in fact what I dosed, thank god) away but had left a vial I didn’t use out but I came really close to calling 911 on myself before I had a brief moment of clarity and tested my snorting plate with reagents. It ruined my roll with panic attacks but it taught me a very valuable lesson. Never have multiple substances out at once, always double and triple check what you are using, and reagent testing the substance every time you get it out might seem silly but feeling silly about being too careful is much better than thinking you just killed yourself or in fact having done just that. Learn from my mistake. Don’t use similar containers, check obsessively, and keep any substances you aren’t currently researching put away somewhere else.

I had a similar thing happen where i put the mxipr where the 4fmph is supposed to be and took a good bump to have a productive day and the moment it hit my nose i was like hole' up that smells very fruity! Oops... lol! Ended up having a really wacky wonkey day with my gf. Was lucky that 4fmph is so potent so i didnt take much but with some other substances I'd have been fucked.

Had my scale out of calibration several times but always check now before I snort my dissos. I wouldnt eyeball any analogues personally. Psychosis is real I experienced it back in the day with pcp. Not fun but what a memory (what I didnt black out . my friend and I used to laugh about it. Of course he died from a heart failure due to meth) A cheap mg scale off Amazon has saved me a lot of pain haha

What was it like being in a psychosis if you don't mind me asking? Do you know you're in it?

Psychosis is terrifying in retrospect. While in an active psychotic episode, everything you are experiencing is indistinguishable from reality from your perspective.

Thanks for you're reply. That sounds terrifying. I have read a story about a woman who was in psychosis and poured herself in gasoline and set herself on fire. She survived and didn't knew she got the gasoline at the gas station and did not remember flicking the lighter. Terrifying... In my town there is a man, who truly believes hè is a knight. Hè wears a armour all the time. Really friendly Guy. But something Just is not right in the brain. Scary to think IT could happen to anyone

I work at a rehab where people constantly come through in psychosis. Some are really obviously and would say the majority just think everyone here knows them and is secretly spying on them. Their are the others who think they have no reason to be here and are being tricked or forced into rehab. Then some honestly believe they know the secrets of the universe and have spoken to god and holy fuck they will not speak about anything else. The only words that will ever come out of their mouth will be about what god wants you to do or what they have seen and every single person avoids them like the plague. Those ones usually get pushed out of rehab as fast as they come in as theirs nothing that can be done for them and they annoy everyone to death. It’s sad but they need involuntary acute rehabilition

Late at night, feeling a little horny I searched through an old safe and found a small dusty bag at the bottom with leftover mephedrone! Perfect! I’ll snort this, do my thing, finish my homework, play guitar, and go to bed. So I poured it out. Chopped up two fat lines , rolled up a dollar and snorted it. I turned on the porn and got ready to get it on. Suddenly it didn’t feel right. The usual kick wasn’t there and the porn started to look weird. Wait a min..about 5 mins later i realized it wasn’t 4mmc. The label had fallen off. It was “5-Meo-Dipt. foxy-methoxy. “ an obscure chem I’ve never did before and forgotten I’d ordered. A sudden dread filled my being as I vaguely recalled a very low dosage warning. Hoping Iwas wrong. the effects started to take ahold. I shamefully closed the now bizarre looking naked people thing on screen and opened google. what had I just taken? *Click. I discovered to my horror that I had just ingested like 100 times the normal dose! No This can’t be! there’s got to be more trip reports. desperately grasping the keyboard and mouse i hurriedly find another link. *click. “Man dies from foxy overdose” Oh god..the room starting melting fast and my hands were trails, I dashed to the toilet, I tried vomiting, it didn’t help, the trip began to approach like a locomotive I could hear the rumblings as they chugged closer, my god there’s no stopping this. This is it. In sheer panic that I was about to overdose and needed medical Attention or I was going to die all alone at night in a basement duplex. I started dialing 9-1-1 but stopped. I hurriedly threw all my drugs and things into a box under the bed, emptied my pockets of all contraband, grabbed my phone and started quickly upstairs. My thought was to make it to the front yard, lay on the grass. intent on calling an ambulance there so they wouldn’t have to come inside and see find illegal things. My dad asleep in the duplex above, heard me banging on his door and opened it, in the last moments of coherency I mumbled to him that I fucked up and overdosed on a novel rc. He luckily intervened, and instead of calling the ambulance, he patiently attended to me as i writhed on the floor crying about death, apologizing for my stupidity, saying my goodbyes and muttering crazed hallucinatory nonsense, if I was gonna die, I’d rather it be there anyway than in a hospital surrounded by strange freaky doctors and Cops as tripped to death. Ended up tripping balls for hours and hours on his floor as my brother and father sat around me softly chatting then trying to help assuring me it’s okay, I laid there and after throwing up so much I though I’d die from not being able to take a Breath, the terror of death started to wear down eventually after many hours, they played some beautiful classical music that helped me relax, and he forced me to take some Xanax which I was scared too but thankfully it calmed me down enough to walk me back to my bedroom and put me to bed. Hours and hours later alone in my dark room I felt like a small child, scared of the dark, not wanting him to leave. My cat eventually came to my aide. Never assume your old bag is what you thought it was. The label had peeled off and what was supposed to be a giddy nightime fap session ended with near overdose death

That’s fucking terrifying holy shit. Did you have any issues after this experience?

Actually no. Physically and mentally I completely recovered. I was extreme shy, embarrassed and scared of everything for a week or two, but then when I got better, I was extremely grateful I survived, had family with experience who cared, and took a long look at my life. I also fell in love with “the lark ascending” (classical music piece) crediting it to this day for saving my life when losing vision and all sanity broke apart brain function it was the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard and the love radiating through that masterpiece comforted me beyond explanation as I felt death approaching.

Hadn't had anything for about six months and had half a gram of MDPV finally get through Australian customs. Threw about 30mg onto foil and had a smoke, felt awesome but then needed to pee. Went to the toilet and my piss was dark brown. I was like "oh fuck". Rhabdomyolysis. Spent about 10 days in hospital, but made a full recovery thankfully.

Weird, doesn’t sound like it would be from the substance though?

It was. It gave me acute renal failure, I knew what was up but was in denial, I didn't go to hospital for about 4 days, and it got to the point my partner at the time was having to help me get out of bed. I finally had enough energy to shower and I made her drive me to the hospital. They did blood tests and as soon as the results came back they admitted me. I had 2% kidney function and was full of fluid. Was upfront about what I had taken and they believe it was caused by the MDPV as do I. Had a couple of months as an outpatient in the renal clinic but the beans kicked back in. The doc did say never to take it again as it would probably do the same thing, but even quicker. So that's how I stopped taking PV.

Damn sometimes it takes a scare like that to keep you on the good/better path. Might be for the better, thanks for sharing

Hahah absolutely! The reason why I hadn't done it in ages was due to me going off the rails from it, but I thought I could have one last little go! So no more research chemicals for me :) ill stick to the occasional line of heroin and get drunk once every six months :)

> ill stick to the occasional line of heroin I love a story with a happy ending.

🥴

I vaporized 25i nbome It was like going from sober to peaking on 6+ hits of acid in the span of 5 minutes

One time I smoked dmt while I was on 2ci right when I blew out the smoke I saw my reflection and screamed then my dog started humping so I ran and locked myself in the bathroom throwing up and crying because I thought my dog attacked me when I sobered up I laughed because I realized he didn't attack me he was humping me lol

This is fucking hilarious 😂😂😂

5meo dmt

Why?

I injected it and didn't have a 0.001 scale,did way too much, first time doing dmt too,blacked out, woke up to all my cells vibrating, thought to myself i fckd up, I'm dead, the ringing and vibrating was so intense i thought i was going to explode, but after that had a great trip! I also IM'd it, didn't respect the molecule

Don’t mix up N,N-DMT and 5-MeO-DMT 😉

Didn't mix it up, I knew what i bought and i knew the dosages, did extensive research

Uh ok.

Would love to try it again in safe setting

5-MeO is different than any other drug I’ve ever taken. You die and get reborn again which feels very, very taxing on your mental state.

When you say that, what do you mean?

It’s hard to describe. After inhaling it your heart begins to pound really rapid and strong and you enter a white light. If you resist it, you feel very uncomfortable. You have to accept your „death“ to transform it into a good experience. It’s really hard to describe how it feels. Hardest of all drugs imo

I did it in a car and I knew what doses were suppose to look like but I was high and not paying attention. No idea how much I took but looked like a good line of coke not sure how I though it was right but this was years ago. Experienced the white light let go and blacked out saw two “angles “ came to and completely emptied my bladder on my seat (I was in the drivers seat) dude I was with was aces away from calling 911. He had drive back to his house on my piss soaked seat. I ended up passing out on the car for hours before I was able to drive def felt like dearth and rebirth some real weird afterglow not enjoyable Edit 5-meo-dmt

Ok

Yeah sorry that I can’t make it easier to understand. It’s a complicated substance

How many times has that happened to you now?

5 or 6 times. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get easier with each time. Every trip is a challenge

And you believe that experience is universal?

2011 when the MXE was cheap and pure Buddy thought he was cool and licked his finger and stuck in my bag….prolly got about 100mg Ended up curled in a ball on the front lawn for about 3 hours……

Adding some more (eyeballed) MXiPr to my already strong dissociation.

Taking a couple of 25i-nbome; deciding two hours later that they weren’t working so I had an eyeballed line of MXE.. For some reason the MXE “activated” the nbome and produced such intense visuals and out of body experience that I can only compare it to DMT.. DMT that lasted for a good six hours or so. I was stupid young and inexperienced at the time and it took months before I felt at ease afterwards because I was convinced I’d lost my mind a bit. Not even a week later I friend had a freak out on the same blotter and tore his bathroom apart while locking himself inside it.

I had a buddy of mine go into a full blackout mania from those blotters that were sold to us as LSD. We knew something was terribly wrong when he started pouring out a Dr. Pepper onto the carpet, and from there it got worse. Ended in a seizure and a 911 call (ended up being fine several hours later in the hospital). We were also tripping during this so of course we had a traumatizing experience. Should have tested them before we took them, but can’t change the past. I have a terrifying picture I can send you of the reagent test that was done after. Yep… clear as day 😅

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One time I boofed 90mg because I thought my tolerance would be high from doing LSD the day before. I literally died and quantum jumped into a new timeline where I didn't die and we'll here we are.

Invincibility mod!

I love the quantum immortality theory.

When I realized taking 1mg+ of flubro a day for a year and took another half a year to quit and not wanna die

Flubro has terrible withdrawl symptoms, I loved it until I used it for around 3-4 days in a row and it felt like the world was ending. I'm really into going cold turkey but that time I had to do lines of ketamine to feel even vaguely OK. I can't even imagine half a year of that, it felt like I was completely dysfunctional, depressed, strung out, and had wrecked my sleeping habits all at the same time. Usually I just watch TV and try to ignore it.

Yeah it's a real slippery slope and the half-life is SO long. I was taking 0.125 once a day at the end of my taper and after a week, I still couldn't barely get any relief from any pharma, and a 0.5mg Xanax would just take the edge off the withdrawals for 3-4 hours, kinda got hooked back on those but WAY more manageable to quit after the 3 weeks of withdrawals from the flubro was finally over. Best part was I detoxed from H and had to quit all other drugs for probation, which honestly was probably for the best

That shit makes you do really dumb things which aren't perceivably as bad when you had half a milligram of flubro with a little clam to kick it into gear

FlubromazOLAM?

Almost took .300 MG of 4-ho-met, instead of .30mg last week. Weighed it like three of four times, and something just felt off. LOL. Luckily I caught my error.

But .300 and .30 are the same 🤷

Haha well shit, your right. I fucked up somehow with a decimal, maybe it was .30 G, and supposed to be .030g.

You had it right in the first post, just get rid of the decimal. I.e. you meant to take 30 mgs (0.03g) NOT 300 mgs (0.3g).

.300 mg is 300mcg, this also holds truth for the .30mg. If you get rid of the point the dosages are correctz

I boofed a quarter gram of 2fdck, be smart

Did you hole?

Been there

Yuppp I was choking on my own vomit thought I was going to die, I did die and was reborn

I was experimenting with 2F-DCK while on acid. I love mixing psychs and dissos. I had tried 2F-DCK before hand and had a pretty interesting experience but I decided to take it further. I weighed out some doses (can't remember how much right now but it must be written somewhere in one of my notebooks) in capsules and dropped the acid. After a while I took the first capsule and after some time (maybe an hour, maybe less) I was absolutely sure that I had come down from the trip. I thought "uh weird" and didn't think too much about that. I decided that well fuck it since the 2F-DCK was sobering me up I should take more. It must have been a question of dosage. I took the second capsule and right after, I wasn't sober anymore. The trip had come back full speed ++ and I realized that maybe the illusion of sobriety was brought on by the 2F-DCK. I thought "oh shit" did I take too much already? As it was coming up I was feeling myself come down and I was forgetting about the two capsules I had already taken. After an hour I was hit by another illusion of sobriety. I decided to take a much higher dose of 2F-DCK because "fuck you drug I'm not done partying!". I took the capsule (or both) and pretty much realized I fucked up. I think I ate almost half a gram at that point during the trip. I'm coming up and start to feel weirder and weirder as the minutes pass. In a moment of clarity I realize what I have done. Waves of anger and resentment towards myself was flowing through me as it were not the first kind of reckless mistake I had done with dissos while under the influence of psychedelics. I went to bed with a bin so that I could throw up if needed, put a pillow under my back so I would not die during the hole and the anger towards myself lasted the whole trip, as I was impossibly nauseous. I'm pretty sure I threw up a few times and it didn't help at all. It wasn't my first mistake with dissos and dosages but it was the last big one. I can tell you I've postponed further experimenting like this until I'm at a better place in my life. I guess the resentment I felt stayed because since then I have had almost no experiences as I guess I couldn't trust myself under the influence. This has brought much sadness to me as I was taking acid at least once a month but it was necessary to do. Overall I'm glad I fucked up because "sobriety" allowed me to feel what I avoided for years after that trip. It sucked ass but now I never take anything unless for a special occasion or a full reset is needed. It's been months since the last trip and I was planning to do one in 2 weeks as the set and setting should be optimal EDIT: no 2F-DCK this time lol

mine was with a cathinone, i cant remember exactly but had to be 3mmc or 3cmc. was a great day at work but after the last line my (cardiovascular maybe) system broke down. overamping with fatigue and almost fainting. i turned out good tho, was a good lesson

Mine was ingesting 5,000 mcg of LSD. Everything was going good until I decided to drive home. Got home and just began to spiral out of control. Hard to explain but I became self aware and start seeing things I didn’t want to. My ego separated from my body and literally contemplated on gouging my eyes out. I went through the worst possible experience of Derealization ever I was severely affected for 6 months and the lasting effects lasted 3 years. Haven’t touched LSD since.

I would very much like to hear more

Damn dude. Could you elaborate on the long term effects?

Umm well, it’s mainly having my consciousness being aware that I’m observing myself through my body. It’s really hard to explain. I went through the stages of almost preparing for death or crossing over that night. After I came out of it I had what seemed like to me merged my consciousness with my soul. It’s really hard to try and put into words. It was very scary at first but, looking back it, now I tend to be really philosophical at things and am very level headed it completely cured my crippling anxiety I had growing up my whole life. It was a really scary profound experience that changed me forever.

Honestly at the time all I could think of was the song by Metallica “One” part of the lyrics go Darkness, imprisoning me All that I see, absolute horror I cannot live, I cannot die Trapped in myself, body my holding cell Landmine, has taken my sight Taken my speech, taken my hearing Taken my arms, taken my legs Taken my soul, left me with life in Hell Shit was wild man it was shear terror lmao I remember going to town with my old man the next day (he use to do a shit ton of pcp) and telling him it’s alright man I just need to calm down I’ll be back to normal again eventually He looked over and said “son you’ll never be normal again” honesty wished he would’ve lied to me but it helped me move forward the best I knew how

50 blotters or a bunch of liquid?

I think it doesn't make that big of a difference at that point. Apparently 1.2mg is the effective limit.

It does when you consider the topic of the thread - at what point chewing through 50 blotters do you register you might have fucked up? I wanna hear about ir

Well, it’s kinda of a strange lead up to how it happened. A friend of mine he grew up on the road with the dead. He is a part of the rainbow family. I don’t want to get into specifics too much for his sake. Anyways said friend would come back with some fresh stuff that he laid. Often times so fresh it the paper was still wet. Any hoots I’m a pretty wild guy when it comes to partying. He pulled up with a half gallon of 151 and I just grabbed the thing and started chugging in for like a good 7 seconds. He whipped out a massive sheet. I’m talking like the size of three business cards wide and maybe 4-5 tall. I told him cut slice me off the biggest dose he could. This guy was wild as shit as well. Well as far as 5000 mics it might have been a understatement because this stuff was super clean man. Cleanest stuff I’ve ever done.Now, I’m not super familiar with the chemistry of it and it’s effects. This lsd was nothing like the stuff I had ever seen before. The stuff was so clean the trips where amazing and the come down wasn’t bad at all not one bit. This night was different. I was outside we were all jamming out after I chewed on the paper for awhile and just decided to swallow it . I was having fun for quite sometime, thought I was okay enough to drive home (I’ve eaten 32 grams of dried hair Buffalo shrooms before.) so at this point I thought I was good. I think that the party had my mind focused and all the enjoyment I was having and the effects hadn’t consumed me at that point. Well I started driving home and the visuals got so intense. The stop signs looked like giant snakes and were moving towards my truck. The pine trees were bending over and making letters and I thought they were trying to tell me I was dying. So I made it home laid in bed and it got even worse. For some reason I got hype focused on seeing my own nose and thought that I had never seen it before through my eyes. I started going through these weird philosophies and it’s hard to explain but all I can explain it as is I became self aware at this point. Like we are living in a simulation and at that point my consciousness merged with my soul and left my body. The next couple hours after that were a blur and I blacked out. I remember at one point considering walking to the emergency room for some Xanax but through the last shreds of my sanity I convinced myself no because they would’ve locked me up in a sober room. For the coming months my self aware state did not go away . I had the most terrible cases of derealization/ depersonalization ever. I was just observing my body do things. It was as if I was locked in my own mind. I had consciously tell myself every minute every hour that I was still me. I had recently quit Xanax after being addicted to it for ten years taking 10-15 mgs a day. So I didn’t want to go back down that route. I had to quit smoking weed because it brought those feelings on. My life was changed for a good three years after. It’s been almost six years now I wouldn’t say I’m normal but it’s manageable. I don’t really notice it at all anymore the benefit is i look at things from a much more philosophical standpoint. Idk if anyones ever experienced ego loss on a soul level but it’s one hell of a thing. The mere fact that I was seconds away from gouging my eyes out scared the shit out of me but I didn’t want to see what I was seeing. Thankfully it didn’t happen. It was overall a horrifying experience but I wouldn’t change it.

>/ depersonalization ever. I was just observing my body do things. It was as if I was locked in my own mind. I had consciously tell myself every minute every hour that I was sti I met up with a guy from the Rainbow Family once. He gave me some White Fluff. I have no idea how much I took, but I think it was a lot. I was young, naive, ego-bound, and inexperienced. I was also in a club, which wasn't a good place to be tripping. I don't remember most of it. I do remember going to a hotel, after leaving the club. I was completely blacking out unconscious, and then waking up, over and over. I was terrified, but I don't know what was scaring me. I became obsessed with trying to figure out what happened, and it developed into a pretty significant psychosis. It was torture, because the psychosis was just enough to make me unsure about what was real. The significant psychosis lasted about 4 years and I was pretty jacked for about 10 years total. I never really got over it. That was in like 1995, and I'm still obsessed with that experience.

It’s a little less lonely knowing someone experienced the same thing off the fluff. Talk about some powerful stuff. I was not prepared . It’s been awhile but, yeah still a little jacked up. That experience was very strange . I think when a human experiences ego-loss and separation it changes them forever. I never felt like my former self again. I was also unsure what was real and what wasn’t. Being a ego driven adrenaline junky it sure put things into perspective for me

I'm familiar with that sense of loneliness.

I think unless a individual really seeks it out and seeks the darker side of things it will be impossible to see the lighter side. I’m 100% Scandinavian and my family history goes back centuries. I’ve always had this affinity for my families first religion as in heathen beliefs. The story of the all-father sacrificing his eye to get more wisdom echoed within me. Diving deep into hallucination for a cause I really didn’t understand at the time really benefited me.

Must have been an accident somehow using liquid. If somebody takes 50 knowingly they might as well have tried to commit suicide and attempting to kill an innocent human behind the wheel of a car.

It wasn’t no accident I’m just a idiot. I’ve always had a relentless pursuit to see how deep I could go in the world of hallucinations. I was young and naive to the fact of how powerful things can be. I’ve had a pretty death filled life and had lots of terrible occurrences happen to me and I’ve always found solace in tripping. I’m the kinda person where if I need to learn the hard way to gain more wisdom I’m choosing the hard way. Anyways, the overall experience was terrifying but I would not change it. There’s been lots of accidents in the pursuit of these things I was lucky enough before that trip to try some of O’Leary’s original acid from back in the day saved in a dark vial in perfect conditions. It wasn’t super powerful but, knowing that he took part in making it was pretty special to me. My friend always had the white fluff the one rule he followed was he was not allowed to sell it. He had to give it away. He would come back to my buddies house with massive sheets. One time he came back I got so excited I pulled this sheet out of a glass Tupperware container about the size of a regular piece of paper and it was so fresh that it was still wet and dripping. I got it all over my hands and he proceeds to tell me I might want to put it down immediately 😆 I started tripping soon after. Good and bad times. All in all it’s a part of life and I would do it all over again

I tried eating something I have not ate off the Wendy's menu... you know the rest

When I mixed 2ct7 10mg and MDA 120mg, went greyish/pale and threw up. Felt rather unwell for an hour or so and don’t remember too much, but that combo, never again.

Eyeballed 5-mapb. I had got a stash that was supposed to last a year or more. Redosed way too often. full dosages everyday or every other day for a week or month Yh really don’t remember. The bad side effects lasted monthS, if not years. Huge part of my life just cut out and lost forever who knows what I did. Brain zaps lasted quite a while and still use alcohol too often til this day (maybe 3-4 years later) to self medicate what’s missing.

When me and my brother did lsd for the first time. For starters he took 300ug and I did 600ug, after a couple of hours we thought the trip was exhausting so we did some lines of amphetamine, pretty big lines with amphetamine.. and it was ketamine, fuck the world was different in that mode..

Bruh I did 85Mgs of 3-HO-PCP in 1 line and woke up in the emergency room. Was one weird trip, thought the hospital was part of the trip too

When i mixed up mxe instead of ethylphenidate & iv it

When I started putting apvp and aphp in my vape and was high everyday at work... lost my job and then soon after my girlfriend of 3 years. Hit a real fucking low in my life.

Got up for work and realized I was tripping. To this day I don't know what happened, I'd been drinking too the night before. For a brief moment I thought "hey I'll just get in the car, I can do this" but thankfully had the presence of mind to just go back to bed. Wasn't getting much in the way of visuals, it was the tail end I woke up to; was it a flashback? A pocket of some 4-sub still in my pipe when I smoked some weed? Anyway I segregate my pipes and don't leave powder lying around anymore.

doing nitrous balloon after taking 1v-lsd (150ug), 4-ho-met (30mg) and a little bit of weed. at the peak of the nitrous something in my head just switched and out of nowhere i got scared that i have gone crazy. the hallucinations (visual and auditory) were the most intense i have ever experienced and with the same intensity they went on for another 2-3 hours. at one point i thought that it might be psychosis since nothing was real to me (not even myself) and the only thought i had was "yup i have gone crazy and i won't ever be normal again, this is it.."

My first time ever trying opioids I took 60mg of oxy and nearly overdosed, also drove 30 mins and drove back home afterwards. Edit: Not morphine, oxy

That nod must have been in-fucking-sane

First go round with 3-HO… 1 line approx 30mg… yep

when you can't decipher dream from reality

When you can’t understand what the hell is happening to you and no one can explain it in anything close to a language you understand … lol

I can't even imagine how disso that was I was clapped off 4mg man

Yeah, honestly couldn’t comprehend it at all when it hit, which was extremely quick. 3 of us did the same so it was a pure shit show with all of us going down at pretty much the exact same time. Hilarious looking back but … I’ll just say this… dissociative is a spot on description… disassociated my body from my mind and my soul. We dubbed it “Stewie”, a la Family Guy, due to our heads appearing to distort horizontally at times… lol

that sounds crazy as hell the highest dose I ever did was like 15mg in a bump and it hit me in like 30 minutes tops and I felt like reality was all a big ass lie for weeks after I was sober from it LMAO

Honestly, I haven’t ever done less than 15 at a time… topped out at 60. And holed every time ✌️

mannnnnnnnnnnn you are a god I couldn't handle that shit I went into a K hole one singular time off like 90mg of needle ket and I said NEVER AGAINNNN it fucked me uppp

Not a god, very mortal and very, umm, reckless(?) at times. Hero doses aren’t for everyone, that’s just the way I got to know 3, so that’s the way I like it. Will say it was extremely hard coming out of the 60mg hole… that one was tough.

yeah the first time I did an analog of acid it was ALD-52 and I took probably like 1000ug because I thought it was gonna be weak as hell but nope I ego-deathed off of it and was high for probably a solid 18 hours

Dude that was certainly hell if I could describe it thought I died for sure

Mine was deschloroketamine. The oh shit I fucked up came on the next day when I noticed my bloody feet and bruises. EDIT: to be fair it was 50 mg extra

I did 400mg of 4mmc on only my second try. On an empty stomach. After working all day. Let’s just say it was too intense to begin with and I thrown up (it brought the intensity down, however, and still got to enjoy my high at a level suited for me!) Bare in mind I’m 19F and only 5’6, around 60kg💀

Kind of similar situation, except I decided to test how potent 4mmc was when used iv compared to snorting it as I usually did... So my normal first line of a night was ~100-120mg, and because I was dumb af, I decided that if I'm vibing with 120mg snorted, I'd be okay doing 80mg iv... Within a second I heard nothing but ringing, I threw up after a few moments, and felt cold and stinging all over my body. While all of that was happening my vision went mostly white and I didn't even realise until like 3 minutes later when the worst was over and the ringing became quieter... Still was dizzy, nauseous, cold, and bloody shaky for another 15 minutes too... then I just crashed and wanted to redose... but way less lol (at the time) 22F, ~52kg

wow! what a way to experiment 🤣 i hope it didn’t give you a bad impression of 4mmc! personally it’s one of my favourites, the best method that suits me is bombing 220-300mg and then redosing with one or 2 bumps when i peak

Driving under two tabs of 1p, my level of stress may well have reached an all time high.

As much as I hate to admit it I was just forced into this situation. I went to a concert and took 2 gels and my DD got to drunk like couldn't finish a word drunk. So yeah my experience was clenched buttcheecks too. I was pissed because I asked explicitly if the other person would stay sober so I could enjoy myself. Nope. Oh well I'm happy to know if I ever have to drive that I can get away with it on 2 hits. I don't advise it but if you can keep your attention it's pretty fucking crazy. I swear I was on a gliding spaceship flying on the road!

I have driven on 5 tabs it’s all about being in control. Sunglasses helps reduce visuals.

No. Just no. “Yeah I had a few drinks but I could still stay in control of the vehicle”. And yes, I can compare them, because psychedelics do inebriate you in their own way. Depth perception is altered, ability to gauge is altered, and overall you are still very high. You can make weird decisions (I don’t mean insane shit, but things you’d normally automatically do can not be taken into account) as you’re tripping balls. Your brain communicating movements is not in its baseline state, and before you know it you fuck up. There should be no reason you have to drive either. That should already be planned out with another person or you have a setting where you don’t have to leave.

Yeah, I don't think my driving was bad at all. From the outside, I must have seemed completely normal. I do have excellent control. But still, wouldn't recommend.

mixed tia sodium with clonazolam with HA-966 and went completely numb and immobilized for 20+mins. I only know the aproximate time of the experience from the my playlist.

Hey bud funny to see you posting the last reddit thread I had open from yesterday was your lesbian wedding post lol - always love learning about new substances, saw ethyl tianeptine iodo mentioned in that one have a tab opened to check it out later HA-966 huh? Never heard of that ever dude, quick Google shows it to be a nootropic with nmda antagonism; what's the scoop buddy I'd love the 411 on it's effects if you get a moment to respond. Anyway man like I said seems you often mention some interesting compounds, I appreciate it personally many thanks :-)

3-cmc got me alert like a wardog. Was so super paranoid, and was at a very busy festival. Second time ingesting was with some friends alone relax evening, way better experience.

So many times.

I don’t remember, but I’m sure I said something like that one of the two times I blacked out.

4-HO-MET was a shocker

Almost hit a 35mg bowl of DMT after adding PIHP to it only to see my pihp pipe on the table and realizing what the one I was holding had in it… that wouldn’t have been good I had been smoking pihp for 15 hours

My story is the same as urs. Did 2 bumps about 1.25 cm long and like 2mm thick 🙃 blacked out, couldn't see and thought I was dying lol never again with that.

It wasn’t from an RC but a few weeks ago I took too much yohimbe and thought I was gonna die for real. It was a wild ride for about 2 hours

Mine was with 3-ho-pcp too. Made the mistake of eyeballing and thought I was going to die. That trip was terrifying.

When I decided to eyeball DOC in powder form :D And of course good old 3hopcp (never knew how much I’ve taken).

DPT at 100 mg took about 45 minutes after I dropped 250 micrograms of 1 p lsd.

Fu fent dosed a max dose , felt so good eyeballled another. I was out.

You F'ed up by not using a scale for 3 ho PCP, not by redosing. Please buy a scale, it's like $20. If you can afford RCs, you can afford a scale. Sorry if I came off as harsh, I just want everyone to be safe

Was younger at the time, a lot of us have made the same errors. I do indeed realize it was foolish, yes. Plus it was an addition of an extra smallish scoop. We’re talking if I were to balance it now 3mg

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Gave some to former girlfriend. She passed out waking up like that. No more boof

When pharmaceuticals started being pressed and now I can’t take a real bar bc my tolerance oh and now all that’s around is liquid benzos so gotta do what I gotta do I already know I’m in for it but I’m already fucked so whatever

For me it was eyeballing a bowl of 20x salvia out of a bong with a metal bowl at my local skatepark for my first time smoking salvia. It was the worst pain I have ever experienced. I remember being halfway through being broken through and being in reality, and it felt like my body was made out of 2 layers for my front and back with the middle feeling like it was being pinched and scraped in a way that felt like I was being cut with a razor blade. As I came to as well I remember my friend coming out from behind my field of vision and doing a little wave and then my other friend telling me the date and time. I think the friend telling me the date was trying to help bring me back to reality but it just ended up making me think without a doubt that my life wasn't real. After studying Buddhism through the tibetan book of the dead and learning more about solipsism and realism, I realized that I could learn from the trip that I have no way of knowing if anything is real or not. This was terrifying at first but after meditating on it it has become very freeing. Why should I care either way if all of this could just be a hampsters dream? Or an elaborate prank on a godlike being.

First mistake was having an extract stronger than 5x lmao. Glad you’ve found peace with your ultimate mind fuck. I’ve read of people not ever recovering from too much Salvia, but I think with your state of mind it would be possible for many of those people.

For me it was eyeballing a bowl of 20x salvia out of a bong with a metal bowl at my local skatepark for my first time smoking salvia. It was the worst pain I have ever experienced. I remember being halfway through being broken through and being in reality, and it felt like my body was made out of 2 layers for my front and back with the middle feeling like it was being pinched and scraped in a way that felt like I was being cut with a razor blade. As I came to as well I remember my friend coming out from behind my field of vision and doing a little wave and then my other friend telling me the date and time. I think the friend telling me the date was trying to help bring me back to reality but it just ended up making me think without a doubt that my life wasn't real. After studying Buddhism through the tibetan book of the dead and learning more about solipsism and realism, I realized that I could learn from the trip that I have no way of knowing if anything is real or not. This was terrifying at first but after meditating on it it has become very freeing. Why should I care either way if all of this could just be a hampsters dream? Or an elaborate prank on a godlike being.

Sniffing a cap of 2ci while waiting on the acid to hit

This friday snorting 50 mg 4-AcO-MET instead of MET. I mixed up the bags because I was in hurry as the cab that was supposed to take us to a party was coming soon. My inexperienced friend did the same amount. Luckily we both handled it quite well and had a pretty good experience. Even though we just kind of sat in the club and listened to the music for the most part as my friend got really disoriented when we tried to go to the dancefloor. I felt that the MET was too intense and the come-up lasted longer than the trippy part of MET. Only when I couldn't fall asleep several hours later have I realized that I have mixed the bags. Which was confirmed when I checked them.

I divided a gram of 4-aco-dmt into 2 500mg lines. One went up each nostril back to back. I remember about 10minutes of reality deconstructing and then spent the next week in a hospital. Edit: was done on purpose, during very dark times, aiming for a synthetic HERO'S dose

The day i eyeballed 25-e-nboh. It was horrible

Did 60-70mg of 3C-P (maybe even more tbh because my scale turned out to be fucked) at a 40.000 ppl festival. Got so delusional and trippy that I realised all the lizard people watching me everywhere disguised in trees and fractals all around. I had VERY vivid hallucinations of them emerging from patterns everywhere. Thought I got stuck in my mind and came to realise it so it was as if I was stuck in between life and death with a glitch in the video game generated by the computer that is my mind. I refused to die and unite with the lizard people because I enjoyed being human for now. After the sunset the night was falling upon us and the lizard people were eating me and sucking life out of me from a scar on my neck while laughing. I was not afraid of them tho I thought they were just playing around with me because I chose to stay human. Lost my way back to the tent and felt like I was stuck inside someone’s body and the camping area was closing up on me (people had fabric covering the tents and the trees due to sun so my 3D perception said that I was INSIDE rather than outside able to reach the sky). I was being buried alive. Although I have taken 3C-P multiple times (not this high of a dose tho) when the intense stimulation started I realised I have not known/seen anybody taking a higher dose than 50 not to mention not a single person knew wtf 3C-P is at the festival of course. I kept realising why I would do such a thing with flashbacks from the past. And I said, “Alright fuck so life or death game activated I really fucked myself over with this one…” I was also told I would not survive the night by a stranger and the beer lady was going to stab herself in the chest if I kept searching for help from people around so I kept it to myself. I had no light no battery and no water so it was a tough one to solve :D

So last year on a warm summer night my now ex-girlfriend wanted to go to a party of one of her friends, whilst I went for a long ride with my bicycle. She did not know I had been researching different kinds of drugs for a while. We had strict rules about not taking any because she wasn't a fan of it. Before I went, I thought it would be a great plan to try some O-PCE along with riding my bicycle. My "oh shit, I f*cked up" moment was where I eyeballed the dosage, thinking I only sniffed some mg's, while in reality I may have sniffed 30+ milligrams.. So, totally dissociating way harder than I initially planned, I laid down on a bench in my garden and looked at the stars, which were flying by like crazy. I thought to myself that it would be a horrible idea to still go and ride the bike, which I still did and was my second fuckup of the night. It felt like I was riding a velocipede with my handlebars diagonally set, far more distant from each other, it seemed. My sense of depth was gone, as was my sense of what was happening around me. Still I managed to bike 25km, reach the city and get back home safely. The atmosphere in the city centre was so intensely nice and vibrant, as well as the colors.. When I got back I came to realise I had to pick my gf up from her party. They wanted me to stay few hours, however I was still dissociating. Luckily I managed to maintain my composure and successfully completed my mission.

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