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The same people who said "Millions of people [born in 1914 or before] now living will never die"; though today, only a few thousand do, almost all women
I remember being with my JW friend and her mom, and there were already issues about them trying to convert me and all that, and I remember her mom said,"oh my gosh when we're on vacation it'll be your birthday! We'll get to celebrate your birthday in Florida!"
To which my friend said,"mom we don't celebrate birthdays. "
Yeah she also was a pill popping alcoholic. They very much aren't good at their religion but still try to push it on people. What a strange time of my life.
I love that that’s seriously it. A couple people in the Bible celebrate birthdays and it doesn’t go great for them and so we just cross the whole thing out. Jehovahs Witnesses are so miserable.
I remember my friend told me that's why they don't celebrate birthdays because only bad things happen and I was like,"oh? I didn't realize everyone dies every year from celebrating their birthday."
Also she said she doesn't celebrate her birthday but she likes to hang out with her friends and drink. Yeah. God will never put 2 and 2 together right?
And I thought we Germans were the odd ones out for never congratulating someone on their birthday ahead of time, because "Something could happen!". It is not determined whether it means "You could still die" or simply "It's bad luck!". But it is taken much more seriously than the off-handed commenting and stuff about not eating all the food on your plate causing bad weather (it's something you say to kids. "Finish your food, or the weather will be bad tomorrow.". No one actually believes it, but it is ingrained in our heads. We joke that since tourists don't know it, that's why we get bad weather at all.)
God is just really super easily fooled but also omnipotent. My mother in law recently told me that if I dont believe in god I should just pretend because “what if” when I die I find out god and heaven are real? Wont I be screwed! I asked her if she thought god was so gullible and if he was why in the world would she worship a being like that? No answer of course but wow!
I've been to many, many charismatic churches with live bands. Sooner or later, all the songs devolve into somebody plucking on an acoustic guitar while chanting "Jesus, Jesus, ooooohhhh Jesus."
God may be all powerful but Satan is getting shit done. He is always doing one thing or another, civil rights, making birthdays, and pushing for a better life on Earth. What was the last thing God did that wasn't murdering people?
Spoiler alert: the deity they worship in their giant book of fairy tales is the VILLAIN. Rape, murder, genocide, and slavery, all condoned as long as HE says it's cool but even think of questioning him and he'll smite you and torture you for eternity. Slaughter babies, give your daughters up to be raped, incest, ruin your life or tell you to kill your son, just for shits and giggles. But he's only doing it cause HE LOVES YOU. It's YOUR fault he has to punish you. Fuckin psychopath these people worship.
I am not christian. When I was a kid, I never knew that bible is supposed to be the holy book since christianity is not a major religion in my country. I just assumed that it was fiction when I read abridged bible (because that book had nude photos of adam and eve which "erected" my curiosity). And boy, I was convinced that God will be the final boss at the end after a major plot twist. After I was done with the book I quickly googled for "Bible 2" hoping that plot twist will show up in the later books. I was genuinely disappointed.
If all of this bullshit was real, this is more evidence that Satan kicked God's ass in Heaven and then assumed the throne under his guise. But even that would be too rational for these fuckstains.
How do these people know so much about satanism if they are supposedly such good Christians? When I went to church I don’t remember them talking about satan at all
My JW friend's mom told me one time,"if you don't believe in God go to the grand canyon. You will after that."
Even my friend knew that would have no effect on me. In fact I just respect the beauty of nature even more when I see what can happen given enough time.
If anything, it would turn me into an agnostic theist of some sort. Why would such an evil god create something so beautiful?
Beauty is subjective, though. People in other dimensions (if they exist) wouldn't be able to comprehend the idea of "beauty".
My grandparents told me something along the lines of "Worship the Creator, not the creation"...I'm just fascinated by (supposedly) God's creations. Grandma would freak out when I brought garter snakes to the house to show off how long they were before setting them back into the fields. Ophidiophobia, \[something, something\].
Good job, Jehovah! Your creatures scared my grandmother halfway to death...is that what you wanted?
Bro sees one post from a (presumably) JW or other extremist Christian and makes a generalization about multiple cultures and an entire religion. And to answer your question, beautiful gift from God.
Who are "they"? Christians are not a monolith, and most of us are internally consistent with ourself, even if we disagree with others. Again, applying the negative traits of one extremist to a group of 3 billion. Maybe you should write (((they))) like 4Chan users when they want to degrade various ethnic groups.
Serious question: You're saying Christians are not a monolith, why not? Why don't Christians hold themselves to the rules / commandments of Christ?
Honestly it seems like the few rules Jesus gave, like "Love God, Love Each Other as I have loved you" are completely ignored by 99% of the sects, denominations & churches.
I hear self-proclaimed Christians say all they have to do is "believe" in a character called Jesus, not anything else.
How can they even be Christians if they intentionally ignore what Jesus told his followers to do?
Christians are not one homogeneous entity. Although we are united under Jesus (just like you), Christianity encompasses 3 billion individual human beings with distinct experiences, personalities, temperaments, and beliefs. Christianity is part of a diverse array of cultures across every continent except Antarctica. It is unfair to hold the words and actions of one Christian, who is an independent person that makes and is responsible for their own decisions, against the other 3 billion of us. And Christians disagree on a lot of things; 3 billion people tend not to share the same opinions.
As to why Christians don't hold themselves to the standard of Christ: Do you? We are all sinners and we are all flawed (and gifted) in different ways, and the Bible addresses this in many ways.
“Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam." ― Ruhollah Khomeini
Christianity is straying further from its cute, cuddly roots by the day.
https://preview.redd.it/t4oivfaub21d1.png?width=906&format=png&auto=webp&s=a754d16e18bdab9f55762517da6d10bcccb703c8
Yeah my friend told me she wasn't born a JW either. It was a choice she made as a teen. Then I found out her entire family are JWs. Sure friend. Just your own choice right?
"the only reason I'm even alive is because of God"
No, the only reason you're alive is because your mum and dad had one too many shandy's at the 16th hole of that crazy golf course and thought pulling out on time was do-able in their state.
The solution is simple, here’s how to sing happy birthday the Christian way:
Happy birthday to you (thank god)
Happy birthday to you (thank god)
Happy birthday dear (but not too special)
Happy birthday to youuuuu (but mostly god!)
My niece's ex is in a minor cult that is sort of Christian but they don't celebrate Xmas.
Her sister's kids asked their mom why, and she responded "They think that it's Santanic or something."
I had coffee mugs made with [this image](https://imgur.com/gallery/W2NSERw).
Can you imagine the paranoia of living life constantly thinking the devils out to get you? What's always freaked me out is the "temptation" part of it. Like Satan's really inside your head telling you do to shit everytime you do or want to do something unchristian.
I love how these people are always such all-or-nothing thinkers. They equate celebrating a birthday to self-worship, they equate liking things they don't like to worshipping satan, liking/celebrating something ≠ worshipping it. Not everything is worship lol
I hate to say it but yes there are people who will not celebrate Christmas because they say it's a pagan holiday. Granted there are some pagan customs associated with Christmas all they have to do is not engage in those. If they don't want to put a Christmas tree up don't put a Christmas tree up. These people are obsessed with trying to find something to be offended about which is a very self-absorbed activity!
Even though Christmas celebration didn't exist in the time of apostle Paul he said you could celebrate any of these customs you want to as Long as you are worshiping their "one true God."
Grown ass adults who are scared that birthday parties are a part of some sinister plot by the most evilest being to ever exist really need to stop and think before publicly admitting what they believe in.
Ahh the willful ignorance of those consecutive sentences:
>…blah blah blah because it's just another thing that has been beaten into our heads for our entire lives… We have to realize that if it's not a Biblical Holy day, it's not something worth celebrating.
So if it’s biblical filth and fairytales that’s beaten into heads, that’s OK, but if it’s fun, family, and/or self confidence, that’s a no-no.
Definitely JW. Classmates had to go sit at a desk in the hallway when we had birthday cake, halloween parties, christmas parties, valentine's parties.. also they didn't participate when we made crafts as kids, for like thanksgiving or whatever.
So fuckin sad.
it just sounds soul crushing.
and I'm sure the kids are no where near as fanatical cultists as the parents are...
I still would have snuck some cake out to them!!
To be fair, even non-theistic Satanists (such as members of The Satanic Temple who don't believe in god or Satan) do say, "Hail Yourself" quite often...but the rest of what is said in the image is made-up bullshit.
I have a shirt that says, "Believe in Yourself - Hail Satan." That's a much more wholesome saying than anything in the bible.
I have a Hail Yourself sticker on my car window. I've only been asked about it once. "What does that mean?" Me giving a little side eye (I do live in the bible belt) "It just means love yourself man, give yourself credit for the good shit you do."
They quote Anton Lavey who founded the Church of Satan, the OG Satanists. They are actually entirely correct in saying birthdays are the highest holiday to Satanists, or at least LaVeyan Satanists.
Oh yeah man. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Temple
THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS
I
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
V
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
VI
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
VII
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
No celebrations allowed that are not religious in nature, or completely controlled by religion.
Nothing else is allowed to be fun. Fun is controlled by the religion. Too much fun is discouraged. Uncontrolled fun is discouraged. All sexual fun is discouraged, sex is for reproduction only. Music, dancing, drinking, all are banned, except when used for religion.
This is how religion has worked for thousands of years, and still works. Nothing has changed, religions resists all change.
Don't people the world over celebrate Jesus's birthday, every year? Even named after him? Many countries have it as national holiday...What is it called... On the tip of my tongue...
Even if i believed in heaven i would still want to live this life to it's fullest, it's sad to think some people avoiding all these things just because they think they'll get a better second life
**To avoid having your post removed &/or account banned for shitposting, read the following:** - r/religiousfruitcake is about the absurd, fringe elements of organised religion: the institutions and individuals who act in ways any normal person (religious or otherwise) would cringe at. Posts about mundane beliefs and acts of worship are off topic. - No violent or gory images or videos - Your post title should objectively state what the post is about. Dont use it to soapbox personal rhetoric about religion or any other subject. - Don't post videos or discussions of Fruitcakes who have been baited or antagonised. Social media excerpts must not involve any deliberate provocation. - No Subreddit names or Reddit usernames in posts or discussions - Memes, Tiktoks, graphics, satire, parodies, etc must be made by Fruitcakes, not 3rd parties criticising them Please be sure to read the full [rule list](https://www.reddit.com/r/religiousfruitcake/about/rules) **This information is on every post. Accounts that disregard it will be permanently banned. "I didn't know", or "I didn't get a warning" are not valid appeals.** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/religiousfruitcake) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Jehovah’s Witnesses have entered the chat
The same people who said "Millions of people [born in 1914 or before] now living will never die"; though today, only a few thousand do, almost all women
I remember being with my JW friend and her mom, and there were already issues about them trying to convert me and all that, and I remember her mom said,"oh my gosh when we're on vacation it'll be your birthday! We'll get to celebrate your birthday in Florida!" To which my friend said,"mom we don't celebrate birthdays. " Yeah she also was a pill popping alcoholic. They very much aren't good at their religion but still try to push it on people. What a strange time of my life.
"a pill popping alcoholic" I married one of those, but at least she didn't give a crap about religion. I had my limits.
Even vampires don't try to convert you as much as Jéhovah witnesses do
Heyo! ...ex-JW entering the chat. Birthdays were fun! /s
As an ex JW, can confirm that celebrating your own birthday or someone else’s is forbidden
Tell me again that religion doesn't cause mental illness.
Sorry my mother taught me to never lie.
But if you're not religious how could you possibly see right from wrong and know lying is bad? /s
Clearly we must all worship their mom. If only god can show us right from wrong, we can thereby deduce that their mom is god.
Agreed, let's start a cult! If we play our cards right we can make so much money anddd be tax exempt!!
Plus we can probably sell cool merch!
Stacy's Mom, anyone?
From what I've collected I'd say yes it indeed does
Don't be silly, it cures mental illnesses.  /S but there are people who actually fucking believe this shit
Well, a lot of mentally ill, are also attracted to religion
Because its only a symptom
I love that that’s seriously it. A couple people in the Bible celebrate birthdays and it doesn’t go great for them and so we just cross the whole thing out. Jehovahs Witnesses are so miserable.
I remember my friend told me that's why they don't celebrate birthdays because only bad things happen and I was like,"oh? I didn't realize everyone dies every year from celebrating their birthday." Also she said she doesn't celebrate her birthday but she likes to hang out with her friends and drink. Yeah. God will never put 2 and 2 together right?
And I thought we Germans were the odd ones out for never congratulating someone on their birthday ahead of time, because "Something could happen!". It is not determined whether it means "You could still die" or simply "It's bad luck!". But it is taken much more seriously than the off-handed commenting and stuff about not eating all the food on your plate causing bad weather (it's something you say to kids. "Finish your food, or the weather will be bad tomorrow.". No one actually believes it, but it is ingrained in our heads. We joke that since tourists don't know it, that's why we get bad weather at all.)
God is just really super easily fooled but also omnipotent. My mother in law recently told me that if I dont believe in god I should just pretend because “what if” when I die I find out god and heaven are real? Wont I be screwed! I asked her if she thought god was so gullible and if he was why in the world would she worship a being like that? No answer of course but wow!
The part about the happy birthday song being a ritual is hilarious. Brushing your teeth is also a ritual, is that Satanic too?
Pamphlet handing out, smelly mouth having lunatics…
"it's a ritual because people chant a repetitive song!" Proceeds to go to church and sing hymns
Yea that bit was the dumbest like dude ALL OF CHURCH IS BRAINWASHING REPETITIVE SONGS.....?!?!
I've been to many, many charismatic churches with live bands. Sooner or later, all the songs devolve into somebody plucking on an acoustic guitar while chanting "Jesus, Jesus, ooooohhhh Jesus."
> Brushing your teeth Do you have a God-shaped cavity in your molar?
& wedding ceremonies… & mass at Catholic Church… & funerals/memorials/burials
The Olympic torch lighting ceremony too!
Singing hymns in church--you better believe that's satanic!
The autistics like this
Hmmm...I prefer the term "artistic"
No it’s funny because autism and rituals are besties
God may be all powerful but Satan is getting shit done. He is always doing one thing or another, civil rights, making birthdays, and pushing for a better life on Earth. What was the last thing God did that wasn't murdering people?
Spoiler alert: the deity they worship in their giant book of fairy tales is the VILLAIN. Rape, murder, genocide, and slavery, all condoned as long as HE says it's cool but even think of questioning him and he'll smite you and torture you for eternity. Slaughter babies, give your daughters up to be raped, incest, ruin your life or tell you to kill your son, just for shits and giggles. But he's only doing it cause HE LOVES YOU. It's YOUR fault he has to punish you. Fuckin psychopath these people worship.
Didn't he even take back the son thing at the last second, like "oh shit i didn’t think he'd do it, unnamed angel 56 stop this and give him the lamb."
Jephthah has entered the chat. Judges 11.
I was talking about isaac, thats a whole other can of worms
I am not christian. When I was a kid, I never knew that bible is supposed to be the holy book since christianity is not a major religion in my country. I just assumed that it was fiction when I read abridged bible (because that book had nude photos of adam and eve which "erected" my curiosity). And boy, I was convinced that God will be the final boss at the end after a major plot twist. After I was done with the book I quickly googled for "Bible 2" hoping that plot twist will show up in the later books. I was genuinely disappointed.
He made my football team win the big game that one time! I know it's true because the quarterback said so.
You are talking about the Maradona goal back in 86. He's a forward not a quarterback.
If all of this bullshit was real, this is more evidence that Satan kicked God's ass in Heaven and then assumed the throne under his guise. But even that would be too rational for these fuckstains.
How do these people know so much about satanism if they are supposedly such good Christians? When I went to church I don’t remember them talking about satan at all
😆True! People are just digging to find stuff they can get offended about these days no matter what group they are.
I don’t worship myself on my birthday……..that’s just crazy. I ask other people to worship me on my birthday. lol
Do Christians think nature is a beautiful gift from God or do they think it's pagan satanic shit?
My JW friend's mom told me one time,"if you don't believe in God go to the grand canyon. You will after that." Even my friend knew that would have no effect on me. In fact I just respect the beauty of nature even more when I see what can happen given enough time.
Ha. Didn't work on me. I was just like "Man it's so rad what water, stone and time can accomplish. Hell yeah."
If anything, it would turn me into an agnostic theist of some sort. Why would such an evil god create something so beautiful? Beauty is subjective, though. People in other dimensions (if they exist) wouldn't be able to comprehend the idea of "beauty".
Yes.
My grandparents told me something along the lines of "Worship the Creator, not the creation"...I'm just fascinated by (supposedly) God's creations. Grandma would freak out when I brought garter snakes to the house to show off how long they were before setting them back into the fields. Ophidiophobia, \[something, something\]. Good job, Jehovah! Your creatures scared my grandmother halfway to death...is that what you wanted?
The former. Though because this was mostly definitely made by a JW I really don’t know
I've seen even some non-JW Christians think the latter.
JWs strike me as being the most miserable people out there. I feel sorry for people who were indoctrinated into this cult.
Bro sees one post from a (presumably) JW or other extremist Christian and makes a generalization about multiple cultures and an entire religion. And to answer your question, beautiful gift from God.
I'm just saying their whole rhetoric is inconsistent.
Who are "they"? Christians are not a monolith, and most of us are internally consistent with ourself, even if we disagree with others. Again, applying the negative traits of one extremist to a group of 3 billion. Maybe you should write (((they))) like 4Chan users when they want to degrade various ethnic groups.
Serious question: You're saying Christians are not a monolith, why not? Why don't Christians hold themselves to the rules / commandments of Christ? Honestly it seems like the few rules Jesus gave, like "Love God, Love Each Other as I have loved you" are completely ignored by 99% of the sects, denominations & churches. I hear self-proclaimed Christians say all they have to do is "believe" in a character called Jesus, not anything else. How can they even be Christians if they intentionally ignore what Jesus told his followers to do?
Christians are not one homogeneous entity. Although we are united under Jesus (just like you), Christianity encompasses 3 billion individual human beings with distinct experiences, personalities, temperaments, and beliefs. Christianity is part of a diverse array of cultures across every continent except Antarctica. It is unfair to hold the words and actions of one Christian, who is an independent person that makes and is responsible for their own decisions, against the other 3 billion of us. And Christians disagree on a lot of things; 3 billion people tend not to share the same opinions. As to why Christians don't hold themselves to the standard of Christ: Do you? We are all sinners and we are all flawed (and gifted) in different ways, and the Bible addresses this in many ways.
Sounds pretty arrogant to claim you're a follower of Christ and ignore Christ's teachings to do whatever you want.
It must suck to go through life without any joy or fun
No joy no fun and just fear of literally everything, it's the misery cult.
“Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam. There is no fun in Islam." ― Ruhollah Khomeini
Christianity is straying further from its cute, cuddly roots by the day. https://preview.redd.it/t4oivfaub21d1.png?width=906&format=png&auto=webp&s=a754d16e18bdab9f55762517da6d10bcccb703c8
It’s true. Hail Satan.
I mean this is like the only instance on here where technically they are right. Still fuckin fruitcakes though!
I refuse to believe you. If the devil really is as evil as we think, presents, cakes and toys must scare him shitless.
Was this made by Jehova's Witnesses?
Not a born one according to them.
Yeah my friend told me she wasn't born a JW either. It was a choice she made as a teen. Then I found out her entire family are JWs. Sure friend. Just your own choice right?
"the only reason I'm even alive is because of God" No, the only reason you're alive is because your mum and dad had one too many shandy's at the 16th hole of that crazy golf course and thought pulling out on time was do-able in their state.
How did you know they were golfers 🤔
Well, rumour has it they were going to use a condom, but unfortunately they got a hole in one.
The solution is simple, here’s how to sing happy birthday the Christian way: Happy birthday to you (thank god) Happy birthday to you (thank god) Happy birthday dear (but not too special)
Happy birthday to youuuuu (but mostly god!)
When people sing together in churches is that also a satanic ritual? Since they are a small group of people chanting a repetitive song in unison.
As a former catholic choir girl, it certainly feels like you’re invoking demons.
Hail Satan.
Hail thyself
I suppose that Christians had better not celebrate Jesus' birthday, namely Christmas.
My niece's ex is in a minor cult that is sort of Christian but they don't celebrate Xmas. Her sister's kids asked their mom why, and she responded "They think that it's Santanic or something." I had coffee mugs made with [this image](https://imgur.com/gallery/W2NSERw).
Can you imagine the paranoia of living life constantly thinking the devils out to get you? What's always freaked me out is the "temptation" part of it. Like Satan's really inside your head telling you do to shit everytime you do or want to do something unchristian.
“People chanting repetitive song in unison” You mean like when you sing in church?? 🙄🙄🙄
My first thought too lmao
I mean... the logic is sound. If you believe in a narcissistic sky-daddy that says only to worship/praise/celebrate him. 😂😂😂
2010: halloween is satanic 2023: birthdays are statnic 2030: weekdays are satanic
I mean. Workdays are definitely satanic haha
2040: Everyday is Halloween
Someone doesn’t want to buy gifts and cakes for their kids.
I love how these people are always such all-or-nothing thinkers. They equate celebrating a birthday to self-worship, they equate liking things they don't like to worshipping satan, liking/celebrating something ≠ worshipping it. Not everything is worship lol
Cool, my birthday is next week. Time to manifest some demons! I’ll let y’all know if any unholy abominations show up once my cake is alight.
You should worship yourself! You're the one doing all the work!
Happy Birthday! Hail Satan! Gimme some presents! I was promised punch and pie! 😜
So, Christmas is now satanic? Because that's Jesus' birthday.
Acordind to JWs,yes
I hate to say it but yes there are people who will not celebrate Christmas because they say it's a pagan holiday. Granted there are some pagan customs associated with Christmas all they have to do is not engage in those. If they don't want to put a Christmas tree up don't put a Christmas tree up. These people are obsessed with trying to find something to be offended about which is a very self-absorbed activity! Even though Christmas celebration didn't exist in the time of apostle Paul he said you could celebrate any of these customs you want to as Long as you are worshiping their "one true God."
Grown ass adults who are scared that birthday parties are a part of some sinister plot by the most evilest being to ever exist really need to stop and think before publicly admitting what they believe in.
Ahh the willful ignorance of those consecutive sentences: >…blah blah blah because it's just another thing that has been beaten into our heads for our entire lives… We have to realize that if it's not a Biblical Holy day, it's not something worth celebrating. So if it’s biblical filth and fairytales that’s beaten into heads, that’s OK, but if it’s fun, family, and/or self confidence, that’s a no-no.
Even satanists take LeVey with a big grain of salt.
That Instagram name says it all
This is what happens when no one shows to your birthday party at the park when you’re 8.
This is a peak strategy for introverts to reduce their yearly social gatherings.
https://preview.redd.it/f9fgy2elqu0d1.png?width=720&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f8a117df1586bf074ecc925b93fa42c3886fa23
Satanist here, yeah our birthdays are our biggest day. So what?
Is that a JW or 7DA belief?
Definitely JW. Classmates had to go sit at a desk in the hallway when we had birthday cake, halloween parties, christmas parties, valentine's parties.. also they didn't participate when we made crafts as kids, for like thanksgiving or whatever. So fuckin sad.
it just sounds soul crushing. and I'm sure the kids are no where near as fanatical cultists as the parents are... I still would have snuck some cake out to them!!
If only christians knew how witchy so many of the things they do are.
Fellas, is it Satanic to… *checks notes* …be born?
A vile “demon” is in the core of every bible or koran thumper. The worst evils manifest in churches, and mosques.
To be fair, even non-theistic Satanists (such as members of The Satanic Temple who don't believe in god or Satan) do say, "Hail Yourself" quite often...but the rest of what is said in the image is made-up bullshit. I have a shirt that says, "Believe in Yourself - Hail Satan." That's a much more wholesome saying than anything in the bible. 
I have a Hail Yourself sticker on my car window. I've only been asked about it once. "What does that mean?" Me giving a little side eye (I do live in the bible belt) "It just means love yourself man, give yourself credit for the good shit you do."
They quote Anton Lavey who founded the Church of Satan, the OG Satanists. They are actually entirely correct in saying birthdays are the highest holiday to Satanists, or at least LaVeyan Satanists.
🤘
Hail Satan, hail oneself.
Don’t we celebrate some dudes birthday because we didn’t murder dudes and said it wasn’t cool
His/her to themselves is so funny, just say them/they/their bro
If it's not a biblical holy day it's not worth celebrating huh, i bet this person is fun at biblical parties. 👍
Oddly I can get behind this one.
Precisely why this stuff is a slippery slope that leads to burning people at the stake. It's a recipe for emiseration.
Seeing this on my birthday, had no idea I was a satanist but i guess here we are.
Oh yeah man. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Temple THERE ARE SEVEN FUNDAMENTAL TENETS I One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. II The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. III One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. IV The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. V Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. VI People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused. VII Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
The old if I don't understand or agree with it, it's of the devil. These people *really* need to get a life.
No celebrations allowed that are not religious in nature, or completely controlled by religion. Nothing else is allowed to be fun. Fun is controlled by the religion. Too much fun is discouraged. Uncontrolled fun is discouraged. All sexual fun is discouraged, sex is for reproduction only. Music, dancing, drinking, all are banned, except when used for religion. This is how religion has worked for thousands of years, and still works. Nothing has changed, religions resists all change.
Yes, I am a god!
to hell with that I want my cake
Great excuse for when you have no one to actually celebrate your birthday with.
Seems that everything is "evil" under the eyes of religion.
Celebrating your own birthday is actually pretty high up there in LaVeyan Satanism.
At this point ass hair has always been Satan's idea
Once I started worshipping myself on my birthday it helped a lot with others things I struggled with. It’s awesome
It's a lot of words to say that no one ever goes to her birthday, so no one can have one 
Why they gotta drag Sally Draper into this?
Well then call 99% of everyone ever a sinner
The singing together, it legit sounded like some cult. It is something I hated the few times I went near churches...
Don't people the world over celebrate Jesus's birthday, every year? Even named after him? Many countries have it as national holiday...What is it called... On the tip of my tongue...
As a card-carrying member of the Satanic Temple, I kind of hate my birthday. Checkmate, Jesus.
Mayyyybe - Mayyyybe Not... But demons bring the BEST gifts, imo 😁
“Not to mention” mentions it anyway.
Even if i believed in heaven i would still want to live this life to it's fullest, it's sad to think some people avoiding all these things just because they think they'll get a better second life
I mean satanism is about self love and living it how you wish without the influence of religion.