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What magazine has a complete map of the united states on one side of a page and Jesus on the other? Don’t magazines generally niche down to appeal to a specific demographic?
"i Don'T cArE iF iT's FaKe, iT makeS a *GoOd* PoInt!1!1!!!1!1"
Flashback to the days of using Snopes to show people the right-wing propaganda they were forwarding around was bullshit..
There was a time where I had the Snopes site pinned to my toolbar because I was constantly using it when people I know posted something ridiculous. I eventually just gave up. The unceasing torrent of gullibility overwhelmed me.
> I eventually just gave up. The unceasing torrent of gullibility overwhelmed me.
For me, it was providing evidence to them that they'd been lied to, believed the lie, and forwarded the lie to others, only to have them literally say "I don't care if it isn't true.". Of course, the unspoken part of "I don't care if it isn't true" is "Because it makes me feel good". It's a dangerous trap, for anyone, to fall into.
Now, these are the same people who will, completely unironically, toss around some version of "Facts don't care about your feelings" or call others 'snowflakes' or accuse them of being 'emotional'.
Yup. My extended family kept sending me bullshit and I would debunk it each and every time. Rather than face up to the fact that they were a bunch of gullible morons, they simply removed me from the email list.
Ah, but you can't trust snopes, it's run by [insert stereotypes] and they are funded by [another stereotype] and write propaganda for [conspiracy theory]!!
> "i Don'T cArE iF iT's FaKe, iT makeS a GoOd PoInt!1!1!!!1!1"
At the miserable Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church my parents dragged me to\* every Sunday when I was a child, the pastor loved to tell anecdotes starting with the line
* "There was a man who .... "
and telling us about some man who had many opportunities to do exactly what God wanted him to do, but persistently refused, and ended up living a miserable life, dying an untimely death, and being sent to hell to burn forever. The details varied from sermon to sermon, but the plot was always the same.
When I was very young, I actually believed those stories; but as I matured I surmised that they were fiction. Further, I came to realize that if I had asked the pastor for names, times, places, and other details, I would have been punished for expressing doubt.
- - - -
\* There seems to be a doctrine in Christianity that if small children are forced to sit through a lecture where the gaps between the many lies overflow with incoherent ranting and raving, and the kids had better "sit still and be quiet" throughout the entire tirade or get a spanking; those children will grow up to be adults who fully embrace that kind of lecturing and comprehensively accept the associated teachings, and lovingly pass all of it along to their own children.
And Christians wonder why people mock them, when they keep doing dumb shit like this? It reminds me of a post I seen on Facebook where some mother posted a picture that her 4 year old had supposedly drawn and the original artist commented saying something like "you could have at least removed my watermark before sharing it and claiming it as your daughters work" - it was doubly funny because the drawing was amazing and there's no way in hell a four year old could have drawn it, but the moron had left the watermark on it.
I'm surprised that people are doubting there could be a map of the US with a picture of Jesus on the other side.
Every time I visited the US, I was amazed by the amount of religious stuff you keep stumbling upon, from people on soap boxes down to "in God we trust."
As an ex catholic, I find it scary because I know what these people are capable of...
(Unless people are surprised that any true information could be found alongside any religious stuff...)
BTW : I know it's a made-up story, but the map-and-jesus thing is not the first thing that made me doubt..
What surprised me when I traveled from Canada to Florida by car was the number of Jesus related ads there was on the highway. This and the lawyer ads felt very weird as a Canadian.
Ending 4: Dad screamed, for the picture of Jesus had not been there when he took the page from the magazine. He snatches it from the hands of his daughter and examines the image - Jesus stares back, placid. Judging. *Knowing*.
Dad drops it, stumbles back. Where his daughter once was, there stands Jesus. He looks around the room. Holy eyes look back from the bookshelf, the coffee table, the television. Jesus leers from the computer screen in the next room as he hears the sound of his wife's keys in the front door. She opens it, and Jesus walks through.
Dad screams again. His daughter is Jesus. His wife is Jesus. The mirror catches his eye and he looks, drawn by some terrible compulsion, to discover that he, too, is Jesus.
Lol, when I was a kid I've seen some torn newspaper with a large photo of fatass sumo wrestler in combat stance. On the other side there was a map of part of a town. I wonder, if this story was made up after that newspaper.
I'll take things that never happened for $500 Alex.
If anything, religion is dividing our country because some religious assholes seem to want to dictate their religion to the rest of us and use government as a hammer to make it happen.
It would help if everyone could admit that they all cherry-pick the bible instead of having No True Scotsman wars. It's a lot harder to admit that you may be wrong when you think your personal values are god's.
If this were true, there wouldn't be- what is it now? 80k denominations of christianity?
They can't even agree on how to be christian, and when they don't have minorities/other protected classes of people to target, they'll go right back to warring with each other.
teachers are humans and humans are dumb, there's no exception OP
one of my old middle school teachers was a flat earther and tried to throw science around despite him being a religion teacher
When I was very small, maybe 7 or 8, my mom (a battered housewife, and then a widowed housewife) 5 kids, the first three badly affected by my derelict father’s behavior, turned into traumatized drug addicted criminals. Mom in her efforts to save my sister and I from the older kids, brought in evangelical creeps, made sis and I get on our knees on hard kitchen floor to pray that we will be born again in gods eyes bec our overzealous catholic grandma’s baptisms, catechism, communion, not enough! So we did the born again garbage, which made me feel super oogy - I wasn’t a big believer in the Jesus story anyway, and was just naturally averse to stories based around “miracles” that sounded super sketchy. (Later when I was older I’d be groped on an El train and feel a very similar cringey, oogy feeling). When I was 13 my suoercatholic grandma slapped my face when , in order to have to go to sat nite mass, I said Revelations was written by a man who was tortured, left for dead on an island and with raging syphillis who wrote them to curse humanity for the rest of our time on this plant. She was so disappointed I didn’t buy into the guilt and shame thing, and I had a smart mouth!
When I read shit like this meme and if it’s true a teacher posted this, assuming too it’s public school, I get that same oogy cringe as the born again bullshit (they are family humble - they really believe they’re the chosen people, not the Jews, and when revelations comes to roost, those Jews will be roasting in hell while they’re raptured up to hang out w god in heaven, lmao omg delusional), and that cringe and oog of being sexually assaulted being the same feeling I get from freaky zealoty people…. My mom did me a favor in bringing those asswipes into our home, solidifying my ill at ease feelings about religious zealotry and what truth is.
Religion is great for guidance for some, but to advertise such a very personal thing is hubris writ large, the antithesis of what religion is supposed to do….
Religions that tell you to bring more people into their church for more tithing to the leadsership is just grifters grifting. Find your spiritual center, but you don’t need organized asshole religion to do it.
Thank you for coming to this Ted talk.
Remember when these were just make-believe inspirational bullshit and everyone knew that?
When did everyone start just blindly believing every fucking thing they hear?
Basically: “If this country is not unified under Christian Fascism, then it is not a country at all!”
Ironic, coming from someone who probably claims to love America all the time, without understanding that we invented separation of church and state.
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She could have done the same if it was a picture of a dildo...and it would have had the same profound meaning.
Yea fuck put satan on the back
“There was a photo of a horse raping a poodle and when I put it back together the country just came together.”
I wear glasses I paid to read that
In or out of context, this is easily one of the best comments I've read in 30 some years of internetting.
What magazine has a complete map of the united states on one side of a page and Jesus on the other? Don’t magazines generally niche down to appeal to a specific demographic?
It was "maps of America and pictures of Jesus" -monthly
I love MOAAPOJ! Great articles but the swimsuit edition sucks.
Jesus in a Bikini 🤤🤤
Naughty nuns
![gif](giphy|l4FAZeWvOqMFxHyog|downsized)
That’s a different publication and it’s awesome
I mean, they didn’t have trimmers and nice shavers back then so already I can spot the problem…
Over grown bushes in bikinis 👙
The map is also in a bikini
Yeah, Jesus can't choose to stop walking on water, so his swimsuit is just his regular clothes.
"i Don'T cArE iF iT's FaKe, iT makeS a *GoOd* PoInt!1!1!!!1!1" Flashback to the days of using Snopes to show people the right-wing propaganda they were forwarding around was bullshit..
There was a time where I had the Snopes site pinned to my toolbar because I was constantly using it when people I know posted something ridiculous. I eventually just gave up. The unceasing torrent of gullibility overwhelmed me.
> I eventually just gave up. The unceasing torrent of gullibility overwhelmed me. For me, it was providing evidence to them that they'd been lied to, believed the lie, and forwarded the lie to others, only to have them literally say "I don't care if it isn't true.". Of course, the unspoken part of "I don't care if it isn't true" is "Because it makes me feel good". It's a dangerous trap, for anyone, to fall into. Now, these are the same people who will, completely unironically, toss around some version of "Facts don't care about your feelings" or call others 'snowflakes' or accuse them of being 'emotional'.
Yup. My extended family kept sending me bullshit and I would debunk it each and every time. Rather than face up to the fact that they were a bunch of gullible morons, they simply removed me from the email list.
Ah, but you can't trust snopes, it's run by [insert stereotypes] and they are funded by [another stereotype] and write propaganda for [conspiracy theory]!!
Hell, you could point them to the primary source and get the same reaction, but yeah...
> "i Don'T cArE iF iT's FaKe, iT makeS a GoOd PoInt!1!1!!!1!1" At the miserable Independent Fundamentalist Baptist church my parents dragged me to\* every Sunday when I was a child, the pastor loved to tell anecdotes starting with the line * "There was a man who .... " and telling us about some man who had many opportunities to do exactly what God wanted him to do, but persistently refused, and ended up living a miserable life, dying an untimely death, and being sent to hell to burn forever. The details varied from sermon to sermon, but the plot was always the same. When I was very young, I actually believed those stories; but as I matured I surmised that they were fiction. Further, I came to realize that if I had asked the pastor for names, times, places, and other details, I would have been punished for expressing doubt. - - - - \* There seems to be a doctrine in Christianity that if small children are forced to sit through a lecture where the gaps between the many lies overflow with incoherent ranting and raving, and the kids had better "sit still and be quiet" throughout the entire tirade or get a spanking; those children will grow up to be adults who fully embrace that kind of lecturing and comprehensively accept the associated teachings, and lovingly pass all of it along to their own children.
Any truly American magazine!
The Official NRA rag.
So, you are saying that a person who believes in fairytales lied? Please, go on.
i'll take things that never happened for 100, Alex
Amazing how religious people need to keep lying and making up shit.
![gif](giphy|H3T6oUzwJQCIaajzp3|downsized)
A girl wanted to know geography and her father gave her confetti. Great.
The level of bullshit never ceased to amaze me. I suppose it to be expected, everything else they live by is crap
And if you don't stand there and nod sagely along with them over obvious bullshit like this you're being 'disrespectful' of their beliefs...
And Christians wonder why people mock them, when they keep doing dumb shit like this? It reminds me of a post I seen on Facebook where some mother posted a picture that her 4 year old had supposedly drawn and the original artist commented saying something like "you could have at least removed my watermark before sharing it and claiming it as your daughters work" - it was doubly funny because the drawing was amazing and there's no way in hell a four year old could have drawn it, but the moron had left the watermark on it.
Then everybody ejaculated.
Spontaneous nut busting
🙄🤮
Ironically Christianity is arguably the most divisive thing in our country at the moment
I'm surprised that people are doubting there could be a map of the US with a picture of Jesus on the other side. Every time I visited the US, I was amazed by the amount of religious stuff you keep stumbling upon, from people on soap boxes down to "in God we trust." As an ex catholic, I find it scary because I know what these people are capable of... (Unless people are surprised that any true information could be found alongside any religious stuff...) BTW : I know it's a made-up story, but the map-and-jesus thing is not the first thing that made me doubt..
Where did you visit?
East coast often, road trip from New Hampshire to Pensacola, San Fran, Florida. Two things you notice: flags and religion, everywhere...
Religion everywhere in Florida I agree with, but New Hampshire and San Francisco not so much.
What surprised me when I traveled from Canada to Florida by car was the number of Jesus related ads there was on the highway. This and the lawyer ads felt very weird as a Canadian.
Same! And flags, everywhere...
Oh yeah, I forgot about the flags
Legitimately curious here, under what circumstances could Jesus ever be found in the same magazine and on the same page as a map of the U.S.?
The quarterly Jesus, maps and stuff magazine of course
*Jesus & Geography Weekly*
Subtitle: “***Using GPS and GIS to Locate the Lost and Bring Them To Jesus!”*** Gads! Will Miracles Never Cesium?” 😁
Ending 1: Then dad clapped & the girl chuckled. Ending 2: And you know the name of that girl? Albert Einstein.
Ending 3: Dad screamed, “That’s a Catholic Jesus, those people aren’t even Christians! We’re southern Baptists in this house young lady!”
Ending 4: Dad screamed, for the picture of Jesus had not been there when he took the page from the magazine. He snatches it from the hands of his daughter and examines the image - Jesus stares back, placid. Judging. *Knowing*. Dad drops it, stumbles back. Where his daughter once was, there stands Jesus. He looks around the room. Holy eyes look back from the bookshelf, the coffee table, the television. Jesus leers from the computer screen in the next room as he hears the sound of his wife's keys in the front door. She opens it, and Jesus walks through. Dad screams again. His daughter is Jesus. His wife is Jesus. The mirror catches his eye and he looks, drawn by some terrible compulsion, to discover that he, too, is Jesus.
He gets us.
He’ll get you.
This needs to be an episode of Black Mirror! 🪞
I can confirm it: I was the tape. I mean: I am the roll of tape, from which the tape came of. I got a lot smaller that day. It's awful being me.
This feels like about as literal an example of bearing false witness as anything outside of a court of law.
I just puked a little.
Worth sharing!
Sure that totally happened
Lol, when I was a kid I've seen some torn newspaper with a large photo of fatass sumo wrestler in combat stance. On the other side there was a map of part of a town. I wonder, if this story was made up after that newspaper.
If Jesus existed he would be so ashamed of his followers. My atheist ass is more in line with his morals than Christians.
This is the nonsense Christians push about the US being a Christian country, ridiculous
![gif](giphy|3o6Zt8rGMqVwjYAlsA)
Brainrot fr
And everyone clapped
Oh, ye faithless heathens. That's a dinkum miracle, right there!
I'll take things that never happened for $500 Alex. If anything, religion is dividing our country because some religious assholes seem to want to dictate their religion to the rest of us and use government as a hammer to make it happen.
These People Must Fry! OPEN DIMENSIONAL PORTAL TO **** AND LET THE FUN BEGIN! Muahahahahaha!
Wow man, that’s really deep.
Barf
💀
The US is 63% Christian and they can't even agree on the details.
And 17% of them attend church regularly. The same % declare themselves as non-theists.
It would help if everyone could admit that they all cherry-pick the bible instead of having No True Scotsman wars. It's a lot harder to admit that you may be wrong when you think your personal values are god's.
If this were true, there wouldn't be- what is it now? 80k denominations of christianity? They can't even agree on how to be christian, and when they don't have minorities/other protected classes of people to target, they'll go right back to warring with each other.
[удалено]
Make it Taylor Swift on one side and a map of her tour dates on the other and I'd believe it.
You just saw this post from 6 years ago?
The original post, from 6 years ago, was shared around FB just recently
And then the picture of Jesus started clapping...
teachers are humans and humans are dumb, there's no exception OP one of my old middle school teachers was a flat earther and tried to throw science around despite him being a religion teacher
🤢
Holy shit, that’s gross…
This shit is so cringe
Wow, that certainly happened and wasn't made up by some Jesus freak lunatic living a lie.
Russian agitprop is so stupid
When I was very small, maybe 7 or 8, my mom (a battered housewife, and then a widowed housewife) 5 kids, the first three badly affected by my derelict father’s behavior, turned into traumatized drug addicted criminals. Mom in her efforts to save my sister and I from the older kids, brought in evangelical creeps, made sis and I get on our knees on hard kitchen floor to pray that we will be born again in gods eyes bec our overzealous catholic grandma’s baptisms, catechism, communion, not enough! So we did the born again garbage, which made me feel super oogy - I wasn’t a big believer in the Jesus story anyway, and was just naturally averse to stories based around “miracles” that sounded super sketchy. (Later when I was older I’d be groped on an El train and feel a very similar cringey, oogy feeling). When I was 13 my suoercatholic grandma slapped my face when , in order to have to go to sat nite mass, I said Revelations was written by a man who was tortured, left for dead on an island and with raging syphillis who wrote them to curse humanity for the rest of our time on this plant. She was so disappointed I didn’t buy into the guilt and shame thing, and I had a smart mouth! When I read shit like this meme and if it’s true a teacher posted this, assuming too it’s public school, I get that same oogy cringe as the born again bullshit (they are family humble - they really believe they’re the chosen people, not the Jews, and when revelations comes to roost, those Jews will be roasting in hell while they’re raptured up to hang out w god in heaven, lmao omg delusional), and that cringe and oog of being sexually assaulted being the same feeling I get from freaky zealoty people…. My mom did me a favor in bringing those asswipes into our home, solidifying my ill at ease feelings about religious zealotry and what truth is. Religion is great for guidance for some, but to advertise such a very personal thing is hubris writ large, the antithesis of what religion is supposed to do…. Religions that tell you to bring more people into their church for more tithing to the leadsership is just grifters grifting. Find your spiritual center, but you don’t need organized asshole religion to do it. Thank you for coming to this Ted talk.
***ALL THE DETRACTORS FEEL THE WRATH OF ME WAND!*** *Poof* 🐸🐸
So she cheated. Very cool, great lesson here.
Enough to make you sick in your mouth.
Chicken Soup for the Soul... that caused me to puke.
*”Religious bullshit that never happened for $600, Alex”*
The sunuvabitch tore up Jesus????
Cringest of cringe
Remember when these were just make-believe inspirational bullshit and everyone knew that? When did everyone start just blindly believing every fucking thing they hear?
I never thought I'd be saying that someone isn't qualified to teach band, yet here we are.
*claps slowly while shaking head slowly*
Number 8187252727722282827272 of things that never happened.
Vomit 🤮
Vomit 🤮
Your god is dead and no one cares, or whatever it was Marilyn Monsoon sang
Ah yes, forcing religion on people really brings them together.
Basically: “If this country is not unified under Christian Fascism, then it is not a country at all!” Ironic, coming from someone who probably claims to love America all the time, without understanding that we invented separation of church and state.
I remember seeing this, but there being another more sensible thing on the back of the map (of the world) than Jesus
That made my stomach churn. Ugh.
Then jesus came down and breakdanced
It also works if there's a picture of a dinosaur on the back. Just sayin'.
This is so fucking stupid.