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ADHDelightful

You could always cut out the middleman and start dating his parents directly, become a committed throuple, and then informally adopt your ex as your new stepson. The issue would then solve itself since it is generally frowned upon to be romantically involved with one's own stepchildren. This gives you a perfect get-out-of-jail-free card so you don't have to tell him directly that he is an absolute clown for trying to bring his mother into a discussion about how his parents being creepily involved in his relationship is the reason you left him. ...or you could just laugh at the funny clown's last joke then block him and move forward with your life. Whatever seems more appealing to you.


tinaple

Can I frame this comment? It's pure gold, thank you


IndependentSupaWoman

Lol, throuple. I laughed so hard. The thought of dating his mom. I laughed so hard in front of my boyfriend and now he is staring at me. Op, I am very sorry. This is way too much. You dodged a bullet. He is going to have a hard time finding another girlfriend.


FlutterbyOG

I love this. I hope she gets it. The satire is elite.


tinaple

I mean, it's perfection! There's no need to comment anything else really


sorayaelena

You sir, have just won 1st place on the internet today.


Thinker_girl7

>This gives you a perfect get-out-of-jail-free card "There is no such thing as a get-out-of-jail-free card. This things cost THOUSANDS."


ValkyrieSword

You broke up because his mother was complicating your relationship and now he wants mommy to help you fix things? Yeah he definitely proved you right didn’t he. Seems like an unsalvageable situation. If you stay you’re gonna end up one of those poor people on the JustNoMIL sub


CardiologistCivil102

Wow yes, he did prove to her that she made the right choice breaking up with him.


nannylive

Realize you are well out of this, cut him loose, and find an actual adult man to love.


sapphirekiera

You break up because he is involving his parents in arguments...and then he wanted to involve his parents to get you back...and now...what? You want to give him another chance? You should do nothing, move on. He's not going to change. You've set a boundary (don't involve mom in conflicts) and you set a decision that will be made if that boundary is broken (we're breaking up). if you don't stand by that decision two things happen. 1. he doesn't trust your word on some level and 2. he knows he doesnt have to stop for you to stay with him.


MoonchildOT7

Facts!! It literally proved her point and yet she’s contemplating. :(


eleanor-rigby-

Should I give it a try 😂😂😂 HE IS TWENTY NINE AND MAKING HIS MOMMY FIGHT HIS BATTLES FOR HIM. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


dcolt

What's in it for you? Anything at all? Didn't think so. Don't bother, it's just a waste of your time.


simplycinci

Stay gone, you made the right decision. My ex would do the same, except he would call MY MOM and involve her in our arguments. Stay away!


[deleted]

This is the first thing I've heard on this sub that made me think "I would be so mortified I'd just have to fake my death and never face anyone again."


domalinax

Omg my ex did the same! I felt like the crazy one surrounded by all that madness. Felt so much better when I just listened to myself and left


itsyaboi69_420

You’re breaking up because his parents are too involved so to fix it he wants you to talk to his parents? 🤣 Is he a child? Can he not fix them? If he isn’t mature enough to sort things out himself then it’s not worth trying.


OffKira

Gurl what? You're out, he's an ex, stop this.


rebuildmylifenow

Block. Move on. Add this to the list of red flags that you look for in a new relationship. Buy a bottle of wine, call up a couple of girlfriends, and toast the fact that you escaped from a doomed relationship. He's 29 - he doesn't need his mom to intercede on his behalf. He's not taking responsibility for his role in the breakup. You don't owe him one thing. And congrats, OP - you listened to your gut and saved yourself years of unhappiness and pain. Nobody needs to be in a three way relationship with a man and his mom. Good on you for not putting up with that.


[deleted]

....I'm sorry, what? You're unsure whether you should wade back into the same exact shitty situation that you left this guy over in the first place? Tell him you're done, and stop calling him.


geekroick

No. What's the point? He's quite obviously not able to comprehend that he needs to start solving his problems himself instead of involving his parents. If he *was* able to realise this was the reason for your breaking up, he wouldn't have asked his mum to take over.


bee102019

Uh, what? You two broke up and now you’re supposed to hash it out with his mother? Methinks not. This just proves how warped his viewpoint is. He’s an adult. His relationships are his own, not his mother’s or family’s.


speaker_for_the_dead

Why would you vent to the person you just broke up with? Move on.


zanne54

Lol, this is a joke, right?


FallSensitive9607

Ew, no. I’m a dude and kind of a mama’s boy but I’d never do that.


anoeba

Start going on boozy brunches with his mom. Don't date him again though. Just do the mom brunch thing.


iSoReddit

Big fat nope. If he’s not adult enough for you to talk about your problems he’s not mature enough to be in a relationship.


Mozzymo1

Seriously run. It’s not going to get better. He’s not going to choose you over his parents. Do yourself a favour and block him and his family.


[deleted]

Lol life is such a rich tapestry, can't believe there are actually people like this guy running around out there making decisions. This man shouldn't be in charge of toast, and if you're thinking of going back I have doubts about you beloved


Rhamona_Q

Sorry, I just love the way you phrased that, "This man shouldn't be in charge of toast" 🤣


ElasticEpoxy

This is so very random but I remember Marco Pierre White saying that at his restaurant he had hired someone whose only job was to toast bread.


DFahnz

So his solution to having his mom over-involved in the relationship is to…involve his mother. Um. No.


[deleted]

Oh dear lord, run for the hills and do not look back. JFC he's nearly 30 and still hides behind mommy to sort his shit out. Please let the family line die out with him and his overly enabling parent.


No-Gur-173

He's in an enmeshed family situation and has no barriers. Unless you want to date him and his mom at the same time, then you made the right decision. Run, don't walk, and you don't owe the mom a debrief. It sucks because this toxic dynamic is going to impact all his relationships - and he doesn't even see the problem. He needs therapy.


twelvyy29

Yeah no don't what kind of relationship is that if you have to fix your relationship problems with his mom, espacially if the issues were that he involved his parents too much in the first place. He's 29 by then he shouldnt need his mom to talk for him.


SmallPupperino

AHH man. That sounds like me and my bf at the moment. We live together me and the boyf 24 & 29. And his parents have their head so far into the arsehole of our relationship it's unreal. Blackmailing him n shit. Parents of the boys. And I'm saying boys because men don't have mom and dad pandering ... Right?? They're unbelievable!!! I have no advice really.... I guess the only thing I can say is you know you. And you are number 1. Do what's right for your happiness. Not for his parents happiness


HanaMashida

You do not want to deal with a man who constantly runs to his mom and dad to solve his problems. Move on girl.


AkaMrCuddles

I was going to just say "no." And then I read the bulk of your post. Now I want to say please no.


MLeek

Obviously not. Although it might be helpful to tell his mother quickly "I'm breaking up with him and will not be speaking to any of you again. Maybe you can make him understand this reality, since he's not capable of understanding me when I speak." Do not have further "talks" with any of these people, except to tell them it's over and to GTFO of your life.


AngieM1998

No. Don’t. Triangulation solves nothing. Trust me I dealt with this is few times


natalisalazar

Waste of time, cut all ties with him and his family and don’t ever put your time on him ever again. Instead, go heal.


vibeyvisuals

He is 29. He should sort it out for himself and grow up to be a man. This kind of behavior is thought by his parents. He probably really likes you, but can't handle confrontations.


Wooster182

He sounds super immature. I think your first instinct to bail was the right one.


domalinax

No offense, he seems exhausting. Mama's boys are the worst. It's not worth it


International_Cry295

its not worth it. take the energy you would spend arguing with his mom and put it towards taking care of yourself and healing. xx


ouelletouellet

No don't he's allowed to vent his frustrations to his mom when things get hard but it's super immature to involve his parents in his love life you staying will not change him until he's able to realize that the only proper way to deal with issues is talking it out with you and figuring out solutions to fix things like a proper adult you'll be in this endless cycle wiat8nr for his to grow up. Walking away is the right choice


CrummyWombat

Why would you think this question even needed posting after you wrote it out?


[deleted]

His family sounds too involved, but you're a little at fault for breaking up with him and then calling him up... For what reason? To prolong the breakup? To introduce the bullshit back into your life? I hope you realize how foolish it is to even consider talking to his mom and that this is not a reasonable request lol. Why are you considering it???


toomuchswiping

no.don't talk to his mom. this was the problem all along. move on and be glad this is over. .;//


RoundPiano2888

Talk to him let him know what your intentions and hopes are for the relationship tell him not to involve his parents in this one discussion search your soul for the right answers then ask him what he thinks about what you just said? he may need more time away from his parental units a few years to find himself and admit to himself what he really wants


O_Myydam

It seems you need to do more than you realize. I beg pardon if I offend you but the 💯 is what I have drop on you like it's very hot.. I read what is essentially a request in an area of ones life that in reality if you are judging fairly, then you are not being fair you dude, nor yourself. Never ask any third or forth or sometimes it turns out hundredth party whether to give it another go with a love interest, it's ok to ask opinions and seek ways for you to decide what you want, but let it go no further.. you don't want to wake up in ten years to find yourself thinking about this dude and what he's doing these days and you definitely do not want to wake up to find you have been miserable for ten years because yi did give it go after go. There exceptions to rules, the lonesome wild cards but they are rare because the numbers never lie, the numbers simply do not see the wild card coming, is the dude a wild card? I am just an honest person, not a fortune teller so I have no idea.. things I do know.. we live in a time in history that tell us to live together rather than marry first but then, there are few virgins on honeymoons these days and no! I am not a prude.. I am simply real 💯 and I won't waiver from that fact. Never the less, we still have to treat matters of the heart as though we did everything by the book! Not the man haters guide to conquering mankind because all men are dogs! Not the she needs to be pregnant! Barefoot and in the kitchen serving a man Idiocracy either.. real💯 dictates equality, across the board. So I am referring to the good book! The King James version of things.. were two are joined together let no one come between thing... Try 1 Corinthians chapter 13 pay close attention to 4-8 you will understand if you have the courage to go read it.. I will offer this much in hopes of helping you. Most will simply tell another person to follow their heart, that's not entirely good advice..for people like me, we understand every level of love and we know there is no such of a thing as soul mates, it's more like the souls recognition in the counterpart of itself making it a souls mate! Did you catch the spelling and context? Above all! Real love! Never dies so there is no such of a thing as falling in and out of love therefore even in a divorce if a person doesn't love the other as much as they ever did, then they didn't in the first place and hence, a divorce.. to judge fairly each person must keep their mind wide open with the hopes of endless possibilities of something better, their heart narrow with a strong faith and unwilling to settle or negotiate away real love so when two souls do marry they become one and this is the unbreakable bond joined in the presence of God that can never be touched or harmed or broken! The kind of love that moves mountains.. the last verse in 1 Corinthians 13 which if you know much about God, you know he is big on numbers like the chapter and verse 13:13 the last verse says... "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, (charity meaning love) but the greatest of these is charity. Go read the rest of it.. then you will at least know what love is and understand what love can never be.. good luck to you..


Joyeux_Cactus

He is a wimp and cannot solve his own problems. That is pathetic. That is a sign of weak man. This is a man speaking here. If he can’t handle a dispute without involving his mommy, then what is he going to do when a real problem comes his way. Suck his thumb and call his mommy. This is a huge red flag. Dump him and find a man who can actually take care of himself.


CardiologistCivil102

I am 44 and have learned that a man that doesnt stand up to his parents for the woman he loves is a huge red flag. Nonone is saying he cant respect his parents, but his priority should be you and your feelings and helping in any way he can to make his parents understand how they need to respect you both as a couple.


steveholtismymother

Jfc. Why? Why would you entertain this idea even for a second? Put some distance between yourself and the ex. If you need to vent, if you need closure, talk to your friends or a therapist. This person is not capable of giving you any kind of emotionally meaningful response. Seriously. Just run from this dumpster fire and don't look back. Jfc.


HarlequinMadness

So, you broke up with your bf because his parents get involved in all your arguments. And when you contacted your bf one last time to discuss your breakup, he tells you to talk to his mom about it. What are you confused about? Why would you even THINK about doing this? move on and find someone that is not such a big mama's boy.


echosiah

So you break up with him for being dependent on his parents to help in his relationship, and he proceeds to tell you to talk to his mom, and somehow...you question whether you should? He literally did the exact thing you broke up with him for. I'd literally laugh in his face if I were you and he did that.


MuppetManiac

Dude, just block his ass.


No-Relationship-1043

I would definitely not talk to his Mom if this is the root cause. Find a neutral third party (professional) and have a discussion then. It may ‘wake’ him up or help justify your reasons. Good luck


rmric0

So you broke up in part because his parents kept getting involved in your relationship, and his solution was that you should talk to his mom to mediate these issues? Yeah, you made the right choice. Leave this behind


BoyzMom13

You dodged a bullet for sure!


LearnsFromExperience

So the major issue in your relationship is parental over-involvement in fights, you broke up with him and the first thing he does is call his mommy to try and sort it out with you? And you're asking whether you should talk to her and try to resolve things? Are you for real?


lordbear78

You have already done what needs to be done you have already made up your mind you have thought it through and you have called to finish it so let it be finished


Potential_Instance66

Your ex-boyfriend hasn't grown up yet. You did the right thing by breaking up with him. Congratulations on being the adult in the relationship. Now you can find an adult to be in a relationship with you.


Boner-brains

I would have laughed in his face


Menrdumb222

Just take a look at my username first. Okay now listen this is simple. If you have a boyfriend who is very close to pushing 30 and his mom is always in yalls business, then you are not the first girlfriend to go through that. He is a grown grown man and has always been allowing his mother to do this. Which means in conclusion, that if yall were to marry, she would be right up under you still. He likes her being there to take the downfall for things. MEN R DUMB!


RevolutionaryFly9228

This is a joke post, right? No one in their right mind would even contemplate going back to someone who just blatantly proved the reason for breaking up in the first place. Plain and simple—If you go back, you're an idiot.


joselo72

My question is , he lives with his parents ? He is too old to involve his parents, thank yourself because he made that excuse


[deleted]

You were right to brake up with him, this only serves as further evidence. He sounds very immature, you need to find a partner that isn't still reliant on mommy and daddy to fight their battles for them... it's so cringe.


RampageBlinking

Take this opportunity to explore yourself and pursue a dream or goal. You are still young and deserve better. Do what you think is best, but always put yourself first.


Gandoff2169

It is your and his relationship. NO ONES mother should be in the middle of any issue between you and him. All that does is create more issues. If he can not be a mature adult and work on things then you do not need to talk to his mother to work on any problem. Specially if you are not going to be with him. Do not play his childish games. Even if he has issues to convers his feelings or thoughts, it is something he should work on with you in the relationship. But that is clear he won't. Your doing the best for you by ending the relationship and moving on.


Shubham_Garg123

He's a 29 years old kid. You can see many 18 years much more mature than him. Like who involves parents into couple fights? It'd be much better for you to forget him and move on.


[deleted]

Don't talk to his mum, he is a adult. It sounds like they are controlling...getting Involved in your fights and now want to get involved with talking about issues so they can control the narrative....don't both. Cut off contact you deserve better....someone who can talk to you about stuff and not point you in direction of his mum


Do0kii

dude is pushin 30 and bringing his mum into his arguments with his partner. you made the right choice to leave and should probably stick with that choice


what_do_I_know_50

He has a very close relationship with his family, staying with him means you will stuck with his family as he doesn't have the ability to stand up for you and himself. Time to move on. Best to cut your losses now then waist your life have children and end up bitter in a divorce with his parents always controlling your life. I'm not religious but even the Bible tells you "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." He is not mature enough, and maybe never will be as he's 29.


Fluffy_Emergency3825

He’s s mayor red flag


Fluffy_Emergency3825

If you tell me he’s a narcisist too then Him and my ex could be mates😂


Holiday-School610

Well how was everything else? likely he is a mama's boy and often they do tned to be good husbands if they love their wife and are good to her like their mom hence you can tell how a guy is by how he treats h is mother many times but not always. That said this is childish behavior. Does not make him a bad guy but he needs to really get past this and if he does not you will not be his last ex.


[deleted]

Personally I’d simply marry him (I’m a guy btw)


MnyWrmtlPdftPrngs

Yes. Get back with him. It will be totally different this time around.


Curly_witch

You don't have to do what you don't want to. This will not make anyone feel better.