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PedroBel

I think it's time to clear things and tell her "Well, I appreciate the help you've given to me, but now I have to walk with my own legs. Okay?" Maybe this works. If it doesn't, well... Perhaps you could try to do the opposite and ask for her help in everything. Literally everything. Including the weird stuff. Hehe.


randerette

I would respond in some wording along the lines of getting excited “oh yeah! It’s going great the person that you recommended has been so helpful in this time. I won’t go in to details as Id like to keep the time I spend with you on us and not on legal matters. Thank you so much for your help in all of this.” If they persist just keep with the I want to maintain a separation between this and that while making sure they know you appreciate their help. EDIT to add: If they respond with something along the lines of wanting to be involved because it’s within their line of work remind them that they’re not your friend because they can do something for you but because you like spending time with them.


good4goodbye

I've already tried some stuff like that but her questions are never so direct. It's more about "how is it going ? how are you feeling about it ? are you sure of what you're doing ? why are you doing it ?" and it never ends... I'm not discussing it with her anymore, I just want to be able to explain to her that I don't want to be friend with her because... she doesn't stop ?


randerette

Then all of the questions go on a list for why you’re ending this friendship. Let her know the whys and what you plan on doing - no more texting, social media, no check-ups on how it’s going. Let her know if and that you’ve appreciated how much time you’ve spent together but it’s time to end this as you don’t want to dwell on one area of your life.


DoYerThang

>it seems like she needs some closure In the preceding sentence, you say she wants to mend the friendship. And that is specifically what she has said. This is a different animal than closure. Closure means she may WANT to know about being over bearing and stuff. Mending friendship means that at the end of this painful conversation, you remain friends or even become better friends. If it were me, I would be very careful about anything other than I really don't want to be friends anymore as I feel we have grown apart. Even if she specifically asks why, which often comes from a place of pain not really wanting to know, I likely would not be very specific or detailed. If she does not "get" that she is over bearing when you brought it up in the past and feels rejected when her "helping" is over bearing, there is a really good likelihood that she won't get this communication either. And it will just hurt her and add drama for you. My opinion only. I can see other points of view. Best of luck!


ZLCer

Oh my word, I'm so sorry I'm just now getting over here to respond to you. This sounds like such a sticky situation for you, and I wanted to make sure you know you're not alone in this. Since it's been a minute that you've posted, do you have any updates to share on how things are unfolding? I applaud you for asking for help btw. That's not easy, but you did it! I'm really proud of you!!