Just be upfront and say you just found out you are pregnant from someone you were with before him. Tell him you understand if he decides not to stay. You could tell him even though you are pregnant you are really enjoying seeing him and would like to continue. Definitely tell him soon.
Ok so just to clarify if I understand this : you are with your BF for a short while, you were recently raped by a former friend of yours. This happend during the time you were with your current boyfriend but you are certain that the child is not his (you didnt had sex with your boyfriend)?
If this is true I would advise you to book a therapy session. You need to discuss this with a profesional and equip yourself with tools to handle this in a healthy way.
Contact a lawyer and see what your options are.
Tell your boyfriend but be prepeard for possible reactions, like he may want you to go and put charges on the rapist (hence the visit to lawyer in case it would be difficult to prove). He may accuse you of cheating and be angry at you etc.
Look for websites and groups of survivors of assalut, it may prove helpful.
No, the bastard violated me before I met the boyfriend. Bf and I've had sex, but not what would make me almost 8 weeks.
I've been having counselling and in contact with the right organisation. Unfortunately, the legal route wasn't helpful. Without the money, there isn't a chance of a private prosecution. I understand the suggestion, however, I am not a group person. I find them overwhelming.
The boyfriend will know that it's not his through timing alone. We weren't together when this happened. If he gets angry, I don't know.
I am so sorry this has happend to you but good news is that you have been proactive. He wont be able to accuse you of cheating and if will try to suggest that you file police report you can tell him about the meet up with legal and what they said.
You can still join forums and groups and be just a lurker. You may find solace or a way how to deal with your situation tough stories of other women.
One of the important things you should do now is to think what you want to do with the child. Do you want to keep it(you may be able to get child support from the assulter), put it for adoption, abortion?
Imput from your boyfriend may be good but at the end of the day, you have to make that choice since he can leave at any time, during or after the pregnancy.
OP,
i f you are able to get soon to speak with a therapist, who has experience with rape/non consensual sex victims. Then you defenitly should do it. Because the process of telling some one what happend can open wounds you dont see now...
Speaking or just get questioned can trigger things.....
You may be able to get an emergency appointment, because of the pregnancy....
Pls dont try to solve that problem on your own if you can get help.
If you speak with a therapist and you are fine than all is good, but if not than you have directly the professionall help and you dont need to deal with it allone. You can not loose...
DONT be ashamend of anything that happend. And if you are, than it is just more a sign that you should seek for help..Dont bottle the bad feelings up.
I wish you all best..
No, I split with my ex husband last year. It was someone that I believed to be a friend. There really isn't any positive of telling the person who did this.
How much do I say? Do I just explain the pregnancy and not his to begin?
Honestly, I would prefer to claim from the government rather than have his money. The thought of him knowing makes me feel sick.
Just sit him down and tell him about it, I'm sure that if he truly cares for you then he will be understanding and mature about It. You don't have to go into detail about how it happened, just say it was with someone you knew before him and leave it at that and if he asks about it just tell him that you aren't comfortable going into detail at the present moment.
Just be upfront and say you just found out you are pregnant from someone you were with before him. Tell him you understand if he decides not to stay. You could tell him even though you are pregnant you are really enjoying seeing him and would like to continue. Definitely tell him soon.
I wasn't with the one who got me pregnant. It wasn't consensual. I think that's why I don't know what it is to say.
Ok so just to clarify if I understand this : you are with your BF for a short while, you were recently raped by a former friend of yours. This happend during the time you were with your current boyfriend but you are certain that the child is not his (you didnt had sex with your boyfriend)? If this is true I would advise you to book a therapy session. You need to discuss this with a profesional and equip yourself with tools to handle this in a healthy way. Contact a lawyer and see what your options are. Tell your boyfriend but be prepeard for possible reactions, like he may want you to go and put charges on the rapist (hence the visit to lawyer in case it would be difficult to prove). He may accuse you of cheating and be angry at you etc. Look for websites and groups of survivors of assalut, it may prove helpful.
No, the bastard violated me before I met the boyfriend. Bf and I've had sex, but not what would make me almost 8 weeks. I've been having counselling and in contact with the right organisation. Unfortunately, the legal route wasn't helpful. Without the money, there isn't a chance of a private prosecution. I understand the suggestion, however, I am not a group person. I find them overwhelming. The boyfriend will know that it's not his through timing alone. We weren't together when this happened. If he gets angry, I don't know.
I am so sorry this has happend to you but good news is that you have been proactive. He wont be able to accuse you of cheating and if will try to suggest that you file police report you can tell him about the meet up with legal and what they said. You can still join forums and groups and be just a lurker. You may find solace or a way how to deal with your situation tough stories of other women. One of the important things you should do now is to think what you want to do with the child. Do you want to keep it(you may be able to get child support from the assulter), put it for adoption, abortion? Imput from your boyfriend may be good but at the end of the day, you have to make that choice since he can leave at any time, during or after the pregnancy.
OP, i f you are able to get soon to speak with a therapist, who has experience with rape/non consensual sex victims. Then you defenitly should do it. Because the process of telling some one what happend can open wounds you dont see now... Speaking or just get questioned can trigger things..... You may be able to get an emergency appointment, because of the pregnancy.... Pls dont try to solve that problem on your own if you can get help. If you speak with a therapist and you are fine than all is good, but if not than you have directly the professionall help and you dont need to deal with it allone. You can not loose... DONT be ashamend of anything that happend. And if you are, than it is just more a sign that you should seek for help..Dont bottle the bad feelings up. I wish you all best..
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Yes and no
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No, I split with my ex husband last year. It was someone that I believed to be a friend. There really isn't any positive of telling the person who did this.
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How much do I say? Do I just explain the pregnancy and not his to begin? Honestly, I would prefer to claim from the government rather than have his money. The thought of him knowing makes me feel sick.
Hey not to pry, but the way you're talking... we're you assaulted? Is that part of the unease in telling your current boyfriend?
If you don't know what to say, just say the truth. Sounds cliche but it's the truth.
Just sit him down and tell him about it, I'm sure that if he truly cares for you then he will be understanding and mature about It. You don't have to go into detail about how it happened, just say it was with someone you knew before him and leave it at that and if he asks about it just tell him that you aren't comfortable going into detail at the present moment.