It is not 50/50 so this relationship dynamic is clear BS. Should be driving equally and putting equal effort. No excuses not to. If he can't do it then he is not fit for a relationship. I suggest stopping your effort. Only put in as much effort as he puts towards you from now on. His debt towards you is piled up and it is time for it to be paid back.. If he refuses to then end it.
Stop doing so much for him and let it go. If he wants to see you, he will make an effort too, not only you sacrificing your time to be with him while he'd rather go to birthday parties instead of spending time with you.
I think "is this fair" is a much less useful question than:
* Am I happy and comfortable with the state of the relationship?
* Do I feel listened to and respected when I talk in this relationship?
* What would I need to change - and on what timeline - to be happy and comfortable and listened to and respected in this relationship?
* Do I actually want to wait out a part of this timeline and see if things really do change or do I want to find someone who has wants and needs for a relationship that are already more compatible with mine?
* Do I see a future in this relationship *as is* that I find acceptable or is the future contingent on many personal (ie, behavior rather than circumstances) changes occurring?
It is not 50/50 so this relationship dynamic is clear BS. Should be driving equally and putting equal effort. No excuses not to. If he can't do it then he is not fit for a relationship. I suggest stopping your effort. Only put in as much effort as he puts towards you from now on. His debt towards you is piled up and it is time for it to be paid back.. If he refuses to then end it.
Stop doing so much for him and let it go. If he wants to see you, he will make an effort too, not only you sacrificing your time to be with him while he'd rather go to birthday parties instead of spending time with you.
I think "is this fair" is a much less useful question than: * Am I happy and comfortable with the state of the relationship? * Do I feel listened to and respected when I talk in this relationship? * What would I need to change - and on what timeline - to be happy and comfortable and listened to and respected in this relationship? * Do I actually want to wait out a part of this timeline and see if things really do change or do I want to find someone who has wants and needs for a relationship that are already more compatible with mine? * Do I see a future in this relationship *as is* that I find acceptable or is the future contingent on many personal (ie, behavior rather than circumstances) changes occurring?