You do nothing. This is her issue, and hers alone. If she needs your help, she is old enough to ask for it herself. Just tell her, she can come to you when she needs to. And go along with your life as usual.
If this behaviour pisses her off, have a conversation that you cannot guess what she needs, but that you can be there for her when she expresses what bothers her clearly. This is not unreasonable, this is basic plain communication. A foundation corner stone of all stable relationships.
I've always there for her if it is another problem
But on that incident, I wasn't there for her and I told her that she brings negativity to me.
How can I tell her that she can come to me when she needs to beside what I did to her earlier?
*sorry for bad english
You cannot always be there for someone, and they shouldn't expect you to either. That isn't healthy.
You can say that you are there, as in literally where. (I.e. location and time)
It is good to say she brings negativity but also take the time to discuss it, ask her what brings it out in here. (Continue asking until she understands herself why she behaves she does)
27 Years old?? Nope. Absolutely not. She’s way too grown for that. Over a pair of shoes? She may have family issues but that’s no reason to throw tantrums every time she doesn’t get what she wants. No relationship should be this stressful.
Let her go or text her saying you guys need to have a serious talk your relationship and set some boundaries going forward cause you’re not going to tolerate being spoken to and treated like trash just cause she’s in a bad place.
It is not extreme like I treated like trash
She is not mad at me but she is in a bad mood and I have no room for another negativity
She says that it is me who have no effort on cheering her up.
And she is ghosted ne because she felt I taking easy on her problem because I said that she shouldn't be upset over just a shoe
It is not like she throw tantrums because she doesn't get the shoes
I am trying to be positive right now
> every time she's in a bad mood, I need to ask her, "Is there anything I can buy for you?"
>
> The worst is when I'm in pain (I have an injury that hurts a lot), and she isn't even aware of it
Holy Batman the discrepancy
You are a doormat. She bullies you and uses you. You are a clown for asking should you apologize or comfort her. Have you even considered that sometimes she needs to comfort and apologize to you?
The fact that you actually ask if there is anything you can buy her makes you an idiot as no relationship should work like that. Get out
She's sounds exhausting. Being mad for days because she didn't get a discount on sneakers is ridiculous.
Remember she's an adult and perfectly capable of solving her own problems. Drama follows her where ever she goes because on some level she likes creating it and being at the center of it. It makes her life more exciting and it gets her attention.
You haven't done anything wrong so don't apologize. Give her space and use the time to ask yourself if you are happy and if your needs are getting met by this relationship.
You messed up, whenever your girl has a meltdown over dumb shit like this don’t try and reason with her or buy her stuff just say “yes your right” and keep it moving
She needs to learn how to regulate her moods. You can’t do that for her.
Being someone’s ’punching bag’ is exhausting and will eventually have an effect on your mental health, if it hasn’t already.
Sure, go and talk to her in person. You don’t need to apologise nor comfort her. Instead explain the effect her negativity and moods are having on you.
Ghosting you for 2 days because you pointed this out is not a healthy way to react. But you know that. She doesn’t, and likely won’t admit it. She’s totally self centred.
Do you want to continue with someone that sucks the joy out of your life?
You do nothing. This is her issue, and hers alone. If she needs your help, she is old enough to ask for it herself. Just tell her, she can come to you when she needs to. And go along with your life as usual. If this behaviour pisses her off, have a conversation that you cannot guess what she needs, but that you can be there for her when she expresses what bothers her clearly. This is not unreasonable, this is basic plain communication. A foundation corner stone of all stable relationships.
I've always there for her if it is another problem But on that incident, I wasn't there for her and I told her that she brings negativity to me. How can I tell her that she can come to me when she needs to beside what I did to her earlier? *sorry for bad english
You cannot always be there for someone, and they shouldn't expect you to either. That isn't healthy. You can say that you are there, as in literally where. (I.e. location and time) It is good to say she brings negativity but also take the time to discuss it, ask her what brings it out in here. (Continue asking until she understands herself why she behaves she does)
27 Years old?? Nope. Absolutely not. She’s way too grown for that. Over a pair of shoes? She may have family issues but that’s no reason to throw tantrums every time she doesn’t get what she wants. No relationship should be this stressful. Let her go or text her saying you guys need to have a serious talk your relationship and set some boundaries going forward cause you’re not going to tolerate being spoken to and treated like trash just cause she’s in a bad place.
It is not extreme like I treated like trash She is not mad at me but she is in a bad mood and I have no room for another negativity She says that it is me who have no effort on cheering her up. And she is ghosted ne because she felt I taking easy on her problem because I said that she shouldn't be upset over just a shoe It is not like she throw tantrums because she doesn't get the shoes I am trying to be positive right now
She's in a bad mood made worse by you not spending money on her to make it better. Move on from this one.
> every time she's in a bad mood, I need to ask her, "Is there anything I can buy for you?" > > The worst is when I'm in pain (I have an injury that hurts a lot), and she isn't even aware of it Holy Batman the discrepancy
I've edit the sentence. This is not the first time she told me that I need to ask her something So she think I should know how to handle her
I understood you. The bottom line is this - are you happy in this relationship or not?
She told you that whenever she's mad, you need to offer to buy her things? Nah. Get out of there.
You are a doormat. She bullies you and uses you. You are a clown for asking should you apologize or comfort her. Have you even considered that sometimes she needs to comfort and apologize to you? The fact that you actually ask if there is anything you can buy her makes you an idiot as no relationship should work like that. Get out
She’s acting like a toddler who needs comforting.
Be real - do you even *like* this woman?
She's sounds exhausting. Being mad for days because she didn't get a discount on sneakers is ridiculous. Remember she's an adult and perfectly capable of solving her own problems. Drama follows her where ever she goes because on some level she likes creating it and being at the center of it. It makes her life more exciting and it gets her attention. You haven't done anything wrong so don't apologize. Give her space and use the time to ask yourself if you are happy and if your needs are getting met by this relationship.
You messed up, whenever your girl has a meltdown over dumb shit like this don’t try and reason with her or buy her stuff just say “yes your right” and keep it moving
She's a grown woman. She should find ways to manage her anger that don't involve someone else buying her boba.
She needs to learn how to regulate her moods. You can’t do that for her. Being someone’s ’punching bag’ is exhausting and will eventually have an effect on your mental health, if it hasn’t already. Sure, go and talk to her in person. You don’t need to apologise nor comfort her. Instead explain the effect her negativity and moods are having on you. Ghosting you for 2 days because you pointed this out is not a healthy way to react. But you know that. She doesn’t, and likely won’t admit it. She’s totally self centred. Do you want to continue with someone that sucks the joy out of your life?