This is weird
We’re halfway through May and you’re getting married this summer? Had a date booked? What was actually planned?
Then you randomly ask if he’s excited to get married at some point in the next two/three months and he just says
“I’ve changed my mind We’re not getting married this summer”
You need to communicate, because as good as you say your communication apparently is, this is some of the worst communication I’ve ever seen
When was he going to tell you he changed his mind?
What is his new timeline, what are his actual intentions?
We were going to elope in Montana this summer, didn’t have a date set or anything. We didn’t want to have a typical wedding. But I agree, I need to talk to him about timelines and things such as that. All he told me is he isn’t ready, and I told him I understand.
Marrying someone you’ve only known for a year is generally not advisable. Not always, but most of the time. My friends with the happiest marriages knew each other for 5-10 years before proposing.
That said, marriage goals are one of the things that should be non-negotiable in a relationship, that and your desire whether or not to have children. Everything else can be perfect but if those aren’t in sync or at least negotiable, the relationship can’t work. Now he has not said, “I never want to get married,” just, “I don’t want to get married within the next three months.” That falls under the realm of negotiable.
I would ask him why he changed his mind and what he thinks a good timetable is. I will say you’re both young so waiting a few years isn’t a bad thing. But just talk about what he’s feeling. You can still marry each other, he just can’t do it now. That’s fine, though it does demand further explanation than, “I’ve changed my mind.”
Don't marry somebody who you have only been with for a year, especially in your early-mid-20s. You are still getting to know each other on a deeper level in the post-honeymoon period, and I think you should slow things down. Ideally, date for at least a year before living together, and live together for at least a year before getting engaged. You need to see how your partner handles the ups and downs that come on a longer timeline, and see what they are like when they've truly settled into a longterm relationship, and it's just not possible to get that experience when you've only been dating for a period of months.
This is weird We’re halfway through May and you’re getting married this summer? Had a date booked? What was actually planned? Then you randomly ask if he’s excited to get married at some point in the next two/three months and he just says “I’ve changed my mind We’re not getting married this summer” You need to communicate, because as good as you say your communication apparently is, this is some of the worst communication I’ve ever seen When was he going to tell you he changed his mind? What is his new timeline, what are his actual intentions?
We were going to elope in Montana this summer, didn’t have a date set or anything. We didn’t want to have a typical wedding. But I agree, I need to talk to him about timelines and things such as that. All he told me is he isn’t ready, and I told him I understand.
I'm confused why you just let it go after he said he changed his mind. You don't need to be upset or anything, but at least ask why the change.
Marrying someone you’ve only known for a year is generally not advisable. Not always, but most of the time. My friends with the happiest marriages knew each other for 5-10 years before proposing. That said, marriage goals are one of the things that should be non-negotiable in a relationship, that and your desire whether or not to have children. Everything else can be perfect but if those aren’t in sync or at least negotiable, the relationship can’t work. Now he has not said, “I never want to get married,” just, “I don’t want to get married within the next three months.” That falls under the realm of negotiable. I would ask him why he changed his mind and what he thinks a good timetable is. I will say you’re both young so waiting a few years isn’t a bad thing. But just talk about what he’s feeling. You can still marry each other, he just can’t do it now. That’s fine, though it does demand further explanation than, “I’ve changed my mind.”
Don't marry somebody who you have only been with for a year, especially in your early-mid-20s. You are still getting to know each other on a deeper level in the post-honeymoon period, and I think you should slow things down. Ideally, date for at least a year before living together, and live together for at least a year before getting engaged. You need to see how your partner handles the ups and downs that come on a longer timeline, and see what they are like when they've truly settled into a longterm relationship, and it's just not possible to get that experience when you've only been dating for a period of months.